\"I\'mafraidoldMarthaisdying，\"saidEmma。Jimwasnotthesortofpersontowhomonehadtobreaknewsgently。
\"Nonsense，\"hesaid；\"Marthameanstolivetoahundred。Shetoldmeso，andshe\'lldoit。\"
\"Shemaybeactuallydyingatthismoment，oritmayjustbethebeginningofthebreak-up，\"persistedEmma，withafeelingofcontemptfortheslownessanddulnessoftheyoungman。
Agrinspreadoverhisgood-naturedfeatures。
\"Itdon\'tlooklikeit，\"hesaid，noddingtowardstheyard。Emmaturnedtocatchthemeaningofhisremark。OldMarthastoodinthemiddleofamobofpoultryscatteringhandfulsofgrainaroundher。Theturkey-cock，withthebronzedsheenofhisfeathersandthepurple-redofhiswattles，thegamecock，withtheglowingmetalliclustreofhisEasternplumage，thehens，withtheirochresandbuffsandumbersandtheirscarletcombs，andthedrakes，withtheirbottle-greenheads，madeamedleyofrichcolour，inthecentreofwhichtheoldwomanlookedlikeawitheredstalkstandingamidariotousgrowthofgaily-huedflowers。Butshethrewthegraindeftlyamidthewildernessofbeaks，andherquaveringvoicecarriedasfarasthetwopeoplewhowerewatchingher。Shewasstillharpingonthethemeofdeathcomingtothefarm。
\"Iknew\'twerea-coming。There\'sbeensignsan\'
warnings。\"
\"Who\'sdead，then，oldMother？\"calledouttheyoungman。
\"\'TisyoungMisterLadbruk，\"sheshrilledback；
\"they\'vejusta-carriedhisbodyin。Runoutofthewayofatreethatwascomingdownan\'ranhisselfontoanironpost。Deadwhentheypickedunup。Aye，Iknew\'twerecoming。\"
Andsheturnedtoflingahandfulofbarleyatabelatedgroupofguinea-fowlthatcameracingtowardher。
****
Thefarmwasafamilyproperty，andpassedtotherabbit-shootingcousinasthenext-of-kin。EmmaLadbrukdriftedoutofitshistoryasabeethathadwanderedinatanopenwindowmightflititswayoutagain。Onacoldgreymorningshestoodwaiting，withherboxesalreadystowedinthefarmcart，tillthelastofthemarketproduceshouldbeready，forthetrainshewastocatchwasoflessimportancethanthechickensandbutterandeggsthatweretobeofferedforsale。Fromwhereshestoodshecouldseeanangleofthelonglatticedwindowthatwastohavebeencosywithcurtainsandgaywithbowlsofflowers。Intohermindcamethethoughtthatformonths，perhapsforyears，longaftershehadbeenutterlyforgotten，awhite，unheedingfacewouldbeseenpeeringoutthroughthoselatticedpanes，andaweakmutteringvoicewouldbeheardquaveringupanddownthoseflaggedpassages。Shemadeherwaytoanarrowbarredcasementthatopenedintothefarmlarder。OldMarthawasstandingatatabletrussingapairofchickensforthemarketstallasshehadtrussedthemfornearlyfourscoreyears。
THELULL
I\'VEaskedLatimerSpringfieldtospendSundaywithusandstopthenight，\"announcedMrs。Durmotatthebreakfast-table。
\"Ithoughthewasinthethroesofanelection，\"
remarkedherhusband。
\"Exactly；thepollisonWednesday，andthepoormanwillhaveworkedhimselftoashadowbythattime。
Imaginewhatelectioneeringmustbelikeinthisawfulsoakingrain，goingalongslushycountryroadsandspeakingtodampaudiencesindraughtyschoolrooms，dayafterdayforafortnight。He\'llhavetoputinanappearanceatsomeplaceofworshiponSundaymorning，andhecancometousimmediatelyafterwardsandhaveathoroughrespitefromeverythingconnectedwithpolitics。
Iwon\'tlethimeventhinkofthem。I\'vehadthepictureofCromwelldissolvingtheLongParliamenttakendownfromthestaircase，andeventheportraitofLordRosebery\'s\'Ladas\'removedfromthesmoking-room。AndVera，\"addedMrs。Durmot，turningtohersixteen-year-oldniece，\"becarefulwhatcolourribbonyouwearinyourhair；notblueoryellowonanyaccount；thosearetherivalpartycolours，andemeraldgreenororangewouldbealmostasbad，withthisHomeRulebusinesstothefore。\"
\"OnstateoccasionsIalwayswearablackribboninmyhair，\"saidVerawithcrushingdignity。
LatimerSpringfieldwasarathercheerless，oldishyoungman，whowentintopoliticssomewhatinthespiritinwhichotherpeoplemightgointohalf-mourning。
Withoutbeinganenthusiast，however，hewasafairlystrenuousplodder，andMrs。Durmothadbeenreasonablynearthemarkinassertingthathewasworkingathighpressureoverthiselection。Therestfullullwhichhishostessenforcedonhimwasdecidedlywelcome，andyetthenervousexcitementofthecontesthadtoogreataholdonhimtobetotallybanished。
\"Iknowhe\'sgoingtosituphalfthenightworkinguppointsforhisfinalspeeches，\"saidMrs。Durmotregretfully；\"however，we\'vekeptpoliticsatarm\'slengthalltheafternoonandevening。Morethanthatwecannotdo。\"
\"Thatremainstobeseen，\"saidVera，butshesaidittoherself。
Latimerhadscarcelyshuthisbedroomdoorbeforehewasimmersedinasheafofnotesandpamphlets，whileafountain-penandpocket-bookwerebroughtintoplayfortheduemarshallingofusefulfactsanddiscreetfictions。Hehadbeenatworkforperhapsthirty-fiveminutes，andthehousewasseeminglyconsecratedtothehealthyslumberofcountrylife，whenastifledsquealingandscufflinginthepassagewasfollowedbyaloudtapathisdoor。Beforehehadtimetoanswer，amuch-
encumberedVeraburstintotheroomwiththequestion；\"I
say，canIleavethesehere？\"
\"These\"wereasmallblackpigandalustyspecimenofblack-redgamecock。
Latimerwasmoderatelyfondofanimals，andparticularlyinterestedinsmalllivestockrearingfromtheeconomicpointofview；infact，oneofthepamphletsonwhichhewasatthatmomentengagedwarmlyadvocatedthefurtherdevelopmentofthepigandpoultryindustryinourruraldistricts；buthewaspardonablyunwillingtoshareevenacommodiousbedroomwithsamplesofhenroostandstyeproducts。
\"Wouldn\'ttheybehappiersomewhereoutside？\"heasked，tactfullyexpressinghisownpreferenceinthematterinanapparentsolicitudefortheirs。
\"Thereisnooutside，\"saidVeraimpressively，\"nothingbutawasteofdark，swirlingwaters。ThereservoiratBrinkleyhasburst。\"
\"Ididn\'tknowtherewasareservoiratBrinkley，\"
saidLatimer。
\"Well，thereisn\'tnow，it\'sjollywellallovertheplace，andaswestandparticularlylowwe\'rethecentreofaninlandseajustatpresent。Youseetheriverhasoverfloweditsbanksaswell。\"
\"Goodgracious！Haveanylivesbeenlost？\"
\"Heaps，Ishouldsay。Thesecondhousemaidhasalreadyidentifiedthreebodiesthathavefloatedpastthebilliard-roomwindowasbeingtheyoungmanshe\'sengagedto。Eithershe\'sengagedtoalargeassortmentofthepopulationroundhereorelseshe\'sverycarelessatidentification。Ofcourseitmaybethesamebodycomingroundagainandagaininaswirl；Ihadn\'tthoughtofthat。\"
\"Butweoughttogooutanddorescuework，oughtn\'twe？\"saidLatimer，withtheinstinctofaParliamentarycandidateforgettingintothelocallimelight。
\"Wecan\'t，\"saidVeradecidedly，\"wehaven\'tanyboatsandwe\'recutoffbyaragingtorrentfromanyhumanhabitation。Myauntparticularlyhopedyouwouldkeeptoyourroomandnotaddtotheconfusion，butshethoughtitwouldbesokindofyouifyouwouldtakeinHartlepool\'sWonder，thegamecock，youknow，forthenight。Yousee，thereareeightothergamecocks，andtheyfightlikefuriesiftheygettogether，sowe\'reputtingoneineachbedroom。Thefowl-housesareallfloodedout，youknow。AndthenIthoughtperhapsyouwouldn\'tmindtakinginthisweepiggie；he\'sratheralittlelove，buthehasaviletemper。Hegetsthatfromhismother-notthatIliketosaythingsagainstherwhenshe\'slyingdeadanddrownedinherstye，poorthing。Whathereallywantsisaman\'sfirmhandtokeephiminorder。I\'dtryandgrapplewithhimmyself，onlyI\'vegotmychowinmyroom，youknow，andhegoesforpigswhereverhefindsthem。\"
\"Couldn\'tthepiggointhebathroom？\"askedLatimerfaintly，wishingthathehadtakenupasdeterminedastandonthesubjectofbedroomswineasthechowhad。
\"Thebathroom？\"Veralaughedshrilly。\"It\'llbefullofBoyScoutstillmorningifthehotwaterholdsout。\"
\"BoyScouts？\"
\"Yes，thirtyofthemcametorescueuswhilethewaterwasonlywaist-high；thenitroseanotherthreefeetorsoandwehadtorescuethem。We\'regivingthemhotbathsinbatchesanddryingtheirclothesinthehot-
aircupboard，but，ofcourse，drenchedclothesdon\'tdryinaminute，andthecorridorandstaircasearebeginningtolooklikeabitofcoastscenerybyTuke。TwooftheboysarewearingyourMeltonovercoat；Ihopeyoudon\'tmind。\"
\"It\'sanewovercoat，\"saidLatimer，witheveryindicationofmindingdreadfully。
\"You\'lltakeeverycareofHartlepool\'sWonder，won\'tyou？\"saidVera。\"HismothertookthreefirstsatBirmingham，andhewassecondinthecockerelclasslastyearatGloucester。He\'llprobablyroostontherailatthebottomofyourbed。Iwonderifhe\'dfeelmoreathomeifsomeofhiswiveswereupherewithhim？Thehensareallinthepantry，andIthinkIcouldpickoutHartlepoolHelen；she\'shisfavourite。\"
LatimershowedabelatedfirmnessonthesubjectofHartlepoolHelen，andVerawithdrewwithoutpressingthepoint，havingfirstsettledthegamecockonhisextemporisedperchandtakenanaffectionatefarewellofthepigling。Latimerundressedandgotintobedwithallduespeed，judgingthatthepigwouldabateitsinquisitorialrestlessnessoncethelightwasturnedout。
Asasubstituteforacosy，straw-beddedstytheroomoffered，atfirstinspection，fewattractions，butthedisconsolateanimalsuddenlydiscoveredanapplianceinwhichthemostluxuriouslycontrivedpiggerieswerenotablydeficient。Thesharpedgeoftheunderneathpartofthebedwaspitchedatexactlytherightelevationtopermitthepiglingtoscrapehimselfecstaticallybackwardsandforwards，withanartistichumpingofthebackatthecrucialmomentandanaccompanyinggurgleoflong-drawndelight。Thegamecock，whomayhavefanciedthathewasbeingrockedinthebranchesofapine-tree，borethemotionwithgreaterfortitudethanLatimerwasabletocommand。Aseriesofslapsdirectedatthepig\'sbodywereacceptedmoreasanadditionalandpleasingirritantthanasacriticismofconductorahinttodesist；evidentlysomethingmorethanaman\'sfirmhandwasneededtodealwiththecase。Latimerslippedoutofbedinsearchofaweaponofdissuasion。Therewassufficientlightintheroomtoenablethepigtodetectthismanoeuvre，andtheviletemper，inheritedfromthedrownedmother，foundfullplay。Latimerboundedbackintobed，andhisconqueror，afterafewthreateningsnortsandchampingsofitsjaws，resumeditsmassageoperationswithrenewedzeal。DuringthelongwakefulhourswhichensuedLatimertriedtodistracthismindfromhisownimmediatetroublesbydwellingwithdecentsympathyonthesecondhousemaid\'sbereavement，buthefoundhimselfmoreoftenwonderinghowmanyBoyScoutsweresharinghisMeltonovercoat。TheroleofSaintMartinmalgreluiwasnotonewhichappealedtohim。
Towardsdawnthepiglingfellintoahappyslumber，andLatimermighthavefolloweditsexample，butataboutthesametimeStuporHartlepooligavearousingcrow，clattereddowntothefloorandforthwithcommencedaspiritedcombatwithhisreflectioninthewardrobemirror。RememberingthatthebirdwasmoreorlessunderhiscareLatimerperformedHagueTribunalofficesbydrapingabath-towelovertheprovocativemirror，buttheensuingpeacewaslocalandshort-lived。Thedeflectedenergiesofthegamecockfoundnewoutletinasuddenandsustainedattackonthesleepingandtemporarilyinoffensivepigling，andtheduelwhichfollowedwasdesperateandembitteredbeyondanypossibilityofeffectiveintervention。Thefeatheredcombatanthadtheadvantageofbeingable，whenhardpressed，totakerefugeonthebed，andfreelyavailedhimselfofthiscircumstance；thepiglingneverquitesucceededinhurlinghimselfontothesameeminence，butitwasnotfromwantoftrying。
Neithersidecouldclaimanydecisivesuccess，andthestrugglehadbeenpracticallyfoughttoastandstillbythetimethatthemaidappearedwiththeearlymorningtea。
\"Lor，sir，\"sheexclaimedinundisguisedastonishment，\"doyouwantthoseanimalsinyourroom？\"
WANT！
Thepigling，asthoughawarethatitmighthaveoutstayeditswelcome，dashedoutatthedoor，andthegamecockfolloweditatamoredignifiedpace。
\"IfMissVera\'sdogseesthatpig-！\"exclaimedthemaid，andhurriedofftoavertsuchacatastrophe。
AcoldsuspicionwasstealingoverLatimer\'smind；
hewenttothewindowanddrewuptheblind。Alight，drizzlingrainwasfalling，buttherewasnotthefaintesttraceofanyinundation。
Somehalf-hourlaterhemetVeraonthewaytothebreakfast-room。
\"Ishouldnotliketothinkofyouasadeliberateliar，\"heobservedcoldly，\"butoneoccasionallyhastodothingsonedoesnotlike。\"
\"AtanyrateIkeptyourmindfromdwellingonpoliticsallthenight，\"saidVera。
Whichwas，ofcourse，perfectlytrue。
THEUNKINDESTBLOW
THEseasonofstrikesseemedtohaverunitselftoastandstill。Almosteverytradeandindustryandcallinginwhichadislocationcouldpossiblybeengineeredhadindulgedinthatluxury。ThelastandleastsuccessfulconvulsionhadbeenthestrikeoftheWorld\'sUnionofZoologicalGardenattendants，who，pendingthesettlementofcertaindemands，refusedtoministerfurthertothewantsoftheanimalscommittedtotheirchargeortoallowanyotherkeeperstotaketheirplace。InthiscasethethreatoftheZoologicalGardensauthoritiesthatifthemen\"cameout\"theanimalsshouldcomeoutalsohadintensifiedandprecipitatedthecrisis。Theimminentprospectofthelargercarnivores，tosaynothingofrhinocerosesandbullbison，roamingatlargeandunfedintheheartofLondon，wasnotonewhichpermittedofprolongedconferences。TheGovernmentoftheday，whichfromitstendencytobeafewhoursbehindthecourseofeventshadbeennicknamedtheGovernmentoftheafternoon，wasobligedtointervenewithpromptitudeanddecision。AstrongforceofBluejacketswasdespatchedtoRegent\'sParktotakeoverthetemporarilyabandoneddutiesofthestrikers。Bluejacketswerechoseninpreferencetolandforces，partlyonaccountofthetraditionalreadinessoftheBritishNavytogoanywhereanddoanything，partlybyreasonofthefamiliarityoftheaveragesailorwithmonkeys，parrots，andothertropicalfauna，butchieflyattheurgentrequestoftheFirstLordoftheAdmiralty，whowaskeenlydesirousofanopportunityforperformingsomepersonalactofunobtrusivepublicservicewithintheprovinceofhisdepartment。
\"Ifheinsistsonfeedingtheinfantjaguarhimself，indefianceofitsmother\'swishes，theremaybeanotherby-electioninthenorth，\"saidoneofhiscolleagues，withahopefulinflectioninhisvoice。\"By-electionsarenotverydesirableatpresent，butwemustnotbeselfish。\"
Asamatteroffactthestrikecollapsedpeacefullywithoutanyoutsideintervention。Themajorityofthekeepershadbecomesoattachedtotheirchargesthattheyreturnedtoworkoftheirownaccord。
Andthenthenationandthenewspapersturnedwithasenseofrelieftohappierthings。Itseemedasifaneweraofcontentmentwasabouttodawn。Everybodyhadstruckwhocouldpossiblywanttostrikeorwhocouldpossiblybecajoledorbulliedintostriking，whethertheywantedtoornot。Thelighterandbrightersideoflifemightnowclaimsomeattention。AndconspicuousamongtheothertopicsthatsprangintosuddenprominencewasthependingFalvertoondivorcesuit。
TheDukeofFalvertoonwasoneofthosehumanHORS
D\'OEUVRESthatstimulatethepublicappetiteforsensationwithoutgivingitmuchtofeedon。Asamerechildhehadbeenprecociouslybrilliant；hehaddeclinedtheeditorshipoftheANGLIANREVIEWatanagewhenmostboysarecontenttohavedeclinedMENSA，atable，andthoughhecouldnotclaimtohaveoriginatedtheFuturistmovementinliterature，his\"LetterstoapossibleGrandson，\"writtenattheageoffourteen，hadattractedconsiderablenotice。Inlaterdayshisbrilliancyhadbeenlessconspicuouslydisplayed。DuringadebateintheHouseofLordsonaffairsinMorocco，atamomentwhenthatcountry，forthefifthtimeinsevenyears，hadbroughthalfEuropetothevergeofwar，hehadinterpolatedtheremark\"alittleMoorandhowmuchitis，\"butinspiteoftheencouragingreceptionaccordedtothisonepoliticalutterancehewasnevertemptedtoafurtherdisplayinthatdirection。Itbegantobegenerallyunderstoodthathedidnotintendtosupplementhisnumeroustownandcountryresidencesbylivingovermuchinthepubliceye。
Andthenhadcometheunlooked-fortidingsoftheimminentproceedingsfordivorce。Andsuchadivorce！
Therewerecross-suitsandallegationsandcounter-
allegations，chargesofcrueltyanddesertion，everythinginfactthatwasnecessarytomakethecaseoneofthemostcomplicatedandsensationalofitskind。AndthenumberofdistinguishedpeopleinvolvedorcitedaswitnessesnotonlyembracedbothpoliticalpartiesintherealmandseveralColonialgovernors，butincludedanexoticcontingentfromFrance，Hungary，theUnitedStatesofNorthAmerica，andtheGrandDuchyofBaden。Hotelaccommodationofthemoreexpensivesortbegantoexperienceastrainonitsresources。\"ItwillbequiteliketheDurbarwithouttheelephants，\"exclaimedanenthusiasticladywho，todoherjustice，hadneverseenaDurbar。Thegeneralfeelingwasoneofthankfulnessthatthelastofthestrikeshadbeengotoverbeforethedatefixedforthehearingofthegreatsuit。
Asareactionfromtheseasonofgloomandindustrialstrifethathadjustpassedawaytheagenciesthatpurveyandstage-managesensationslaidthemselvesouttodotheirlevelbestonthismomentousoccasion。
MenwhohadmadetheirreputationsasspecialdescriptivewritersweremobilisedfromdistantcornersofEuropeandthefurthersideoftheAtlanticinordertoenrichwiththeirpensthedailyprintedrecordsofthecase；oneword-painter，whospecialisedindescriptionsofhowwitnessesturnpaleundercross-examination，wassummonedhurriedlybackfromafamousandprolongedmurdertrialinSicily，whereindeedhistalentswerebeingdecidedlywasted。Thumb-nailartistsandexpertkodakmanipulatorswereretainedatextravagantsalaries，andspecialdressreporterswereinhighdemand。AnenterprisingParisfirmofcostumebuilderspresentedthedefendantDuchesswiththreespecialcreations，tobeworn，marked，learned，andextensivelyreportedatvariouscriticalstagesofthetrial；andasforthecinematographagents，theirindustryandpersistencewasuntiring。FilmsrepresentingtheDukesayinggood-byetohisfavouritecanaryontheeveofthetrialwereinreadinessweeksbeforetheeventwasduetotakeplace；otherfilmsdepictedtheDuchessholdingimaginaryconsultationswithfictitiouslawyersormakingalightrepastoffspeciallyadvertisedvegetariansandwichesduringasupposedluncheoninterval。Asfarashumanforesightandhumanenterprisecouldgonothingwaslackingtomakethetrialasuccess。
TwodaysbeforethecasewasdownforhearingtheadvancereporterofanimportantsyndicateobtainedaninterviewwiththeDukeforthepurposeofgleaningsomefinalgrainsofinformationconcerninghisGrace\'spersonalarrangementsduringthetrial。
\"IsupposeImaysaythiswillbeoneofthebiggestaffairsofitskindduringthelifetimeofageneration，\"
beganthereporterasanexcusefortheunsparingminutenessofdetailthathewasabouttomakequestfor。
\"Isupposeso-ifitcomesoff，\"saidtheDukelazily。
\"If？\"queriedthereporter，inavoicethatwassomethingbetweenagaspandascream。
\"TheDuchessandIareboththinkingofgoingonstrike，\"saidtheDuke。
\"Strike！\"
Thebalefulwordflashedoutinallitsoldhideousfamiliarity。Wastheretobenoendtoitsrecurrence？
\"Doyoumean，\"falteredthereporter，\"thatyouarecontemplatingamutualwithdrawalofthecharges？\"
\"Precisely，\"saidtheDuke。
\"Butthinkofthearrangementsthathavebeenmade，thespecialreporting，thecinematographs，thecateringforthedistinguishedforeignwitnesses，thepreparedmusic-hallallusions；thinkofallthemoneythathasbeensunk-\"
\"Exactly，\"saidtheDukecoldly，\"theDuchessandI
haverealisedthatitiswewhoprovidethematerialoutofwhichthisgreatfar-reachingindustryhasbeenbuiltup。Widespreademploymentwillbegivenandenormousprofitsmadeduringthedurationofthecase，andwe，onwhomallthestressandracketfalls，willget-what？
Anunenviablenotorietyandtheprivilegeofpayingheavylegalexpenseswhicheverwaytheverdictgoes。Henceourdecisiontostrike。Wedon\'twishtobereconciled；wefullyrealisethatitisagravesteptotake，butunlesswegetsomereasonableconsiderationoutofthisvaststreamofwealthandindustrythatwehavecalledintobeingweintendcomingoutofcourtandstayingout。
Goodafternoon。\"
Thenewsofthislateststrikespreaduniversaldismay。Itsinaccessibilitytotheordinarymethodsofpersuasionmadeitpeculiarlyformidable。IftheDukeandDuchesspersistedinbeingreconciledtheGovernmentcouldhardlybecalledontointerfere。Publicopinionintheshapeofsocialostracismmightbebroughttobearonthem，butthatwasasfarascoercivemeasurescouldgo。Therewasnothingforitbutaconference，withpowerstoproposeliberalterms。Asitwas，severaloftheforeignwitnesseshadalreadydepartedandothershadtelegraphedcancellingtheirhotelarrangements。
Theconference，protracted，uncomfortable，andoccasionallyacrimonious，succeededatlastinarrangingforaresumptionoflitigation，butitwasafruitlessvictory。TheDuke，withatouchofhisearlierprecocity，diedofprematuredecayafortnightbeforethedatefixedforthenewtrial。
THEROMANCERS
ITwasautumninLondon，thatblessedseasonbetweentheharshnessofwinterandtheinsinceritiesofsummer；
atrustfulseasonwhenonebuysbulbsandseestotheregistrationofone\'svote，believingperpetuallyinspringandachangeofGovernment。
MortonCrosbysatonabenchinasecludedcornerofHydePark，lazilyenjoyingacigaretteandwatchingtheslowgrazingpromenadeofapairofsnow-geese，themalelookingratherlikeanalbinoeditionoftherusset-huedfemale。OutofthecornerofhiseyeCrosbyalsonotedwithsomeinterestthehesitatinghoveringsofahumanfigure，whichhadpassedandrepassedhisseattwoorthreetimesatshorteningintervals，likeawarycrowabouttoalightnearsomepossiblyediblemorsel。
Inevitablythefigurecametoananchorageonthebench，withineasytalkingdistanceofitsoriginaloccupant。
Theuncared-forclothes，theaggressive，grizzledbeard，andthefurtive，evasiveeyeofthenew-comerbespoketheprofessionalcadger，themanwhowouldundergohoursofhumiliatingtale-spinningandrebuffratherthanadventureonhalfaday\'sdecentwork。
Forawhilethenew-comerfixedhiseyesstraightinfrontofhiminastrenuous，unseeinggaze；thenhisvoicebrokeoutwiththeinsinuatinginflectionofonewhohasastorytoretailwellworthanyloiterer\'swhiletolistento。
\"It\'sastrangeworld，\"hesaid。
Asthestatementmetwithnoresponsehealteredittotheformofaquestion。
\"Idaresayyou\'vefoundittobeastrangeworld，mister？\"
\"AsfarasIamconcerned，\"saidCrosby，\"thestrangenesshaswornoffinthecourseofthirty-sixyears。\"
\"Ah，\"saidthegreybeard，\"Icouldtellyouthingsthatyou\'dhardlybelieve。Marvellousthingsthathavereallyhappenedtome。\"
\"Nowadaysthereisnodemandformarvellousthingsthathavereallyhappened，\"saidCrosbydiscouragingly；
\"theprofessionalwritersoffictionturnthesethingsoutsomuchbetter。Forinstance，myneighbourstellmewonderful，incrediblethingsthattheirAberdeensandchowsandborzoishavedone；Ineverlistentothem。Ontheotherhand，Ihaveread\'TheHoundoftheBaskervilles\'threetimes。\"
Thegreybeardmoveduneasilyinhisseat；thenheopenedupnewcountry。
\"ItakeitthatyouareaprofessingChristian，\"heobserved。
\"IamaprominentandIthinkImaysayaninfluentialmemberoftheMussulmancommunityofEasternPersia，\"saidCrosby，makinganexcursionhimselfintotherealmsoffiction。
Thegreybeardwasobviouslydisconcertedatthisnewchecktointroductoryconversation，butthedefeatwasonlymomentary。
\"Persia。IshouldneverhavetakenyouforaPersian，\"heremarked，withasomewhataggrievedair。
\"Iamnot，\"saidCrosby；\"myfatherwasanAfghan。\"
\"AnAfghan！\"saidtheother，smittenintobewilderedsilenceforamoment。Thenherecoveredhimselfandrenewedhisattack。
\"Afghanistan。Ah！We\'vehadsomewarswiththatcountry；now，Idaresay，insteadoffightingitwemighthavelearnedsomethingfromit。Averywealthycountry，Ibelieve。Norealpovertythere。\"
Heraisedhisvoiceontheword\"poverty\"withasuggestionofintensefeeling。Crosbysawtheopeningandavoidedit。
\"Itpossesses，nevertheless，anumberofhighlytalentedandingeniousbeggars，\"hesaid；\"ifIhadnotspokensodisparaginglyofmarvellousthingsthathavereallyhappenedIwouldtellyouthestoryofIbrahimandtheelevencamel-loadsofblotting-paper。AlsoIhaveforgottenexactlyhowitended。\"
\"Myownlife-storyisacuriousone，\"saidthestranger，apparentlystiflingalldesiretohearthehistoryofIbrahim；\"Iwasnotalwaysasyouseemenow。\"
\"Wearesupposedtoundergocompletechangeinthecourseofeverysevenyears，\"saidCrosby，asanexplanationoftheforegoingannouncement。
\"ImeanIwasnotalwaysinsuchdistressingcircumstancesasIamatpresent，\"pursuedthestrangerdoggedly。
\"Thatsoundsratherrude，\"saidCrosbystiffly，\"consideringthatyouareatpresenttalkingtoamanreputedtobeoneofthemostgiftedconversationalistsoftheAfghanborder。\"
\"Idon\'tmeaninthatway，\"saidthegreybeardhastily；\"I\'vebeenverymuchinterestedinyourconversation。Iwasalludingtomyunfortunatefinancialsituation。Youmayn\'thardlybelieveit，butatthepresentmomentIamabsolutelywithoutafarthing。Don\'tseeanyprospectofgettinganymoney，either，forthenextfewdays。Idon\'tsupposeyou\'veeverfoundyourselfinsuchaposition，\"headded。
\"InthetownofYom，\"saidCrosby，\"whichisinSouthernAfghanistan，andwhichalsohappenstobemybirthplace，therewasaChinesephilosopherwhousedtosaythatoneofthethreechiefesthumanblessingswastobeabsolutelywithoutmoney。Iforgetwhattheothertwowere。\"
\"Ah，Idaresay，\"saidthestranger，inatonethatbetrayednoenthusiasmforthephilosopher\'smemory；\"anddidhepractisewhathepreached？That\'sthetest。\"
\"Helivedhappilywithverylittlemoneyorresources，\"saidCrosby。
\"ThenIexpecthehadfriendswhowouldhelphimliberallywheneverhewasindifficulties，suchasIaminatpresent。\"
\"InYom，\"saidCrosby，\"itisnotnecessarytohavefriendsinordertoobtainhelp。AnycitizenofYomwouldhelpastrangerasamatterofcourse。\"
Thegreybeardwasnowgenuinelyinterested。
Theconversationhadatlasttakenafavourableturn。
\"Ifsomeone，likeme，forinstance，whowasinundeserveddifficulties，askedacitizenofthattownyouspeakofforasmallloantotideoverafewdays\'
impecuniosity-fiveshillings，orperhapsaratherlargersum-woulditbegiventohimasamatterofcourse？\"
\"Therewouldbeacertainpreliminary，\"saidCrosby；
\"onewouldtakehimtoawine-shopandtreathimtoameasureofwine，andthen，afteralittlehigh-flownconversation，onewouldputthedesiredsuminhishandandwishhimgood-day。Itisaroundaboutwayofperformingasimpletransaction，butintheEastallwaysareroundabout。\"
Thelistener\'seyeswereglittering。
\"Ah，\"heexclaimed，withathinsneerringingmeaninglythroughhiswords，\"Isupposeyou\'vegivenupallthosegenerouscustomssinceyouleftyourtown。
Don\'tpractisethemnow，Iexpect。\"
\"NoonewhohaslivedinYom，\"saidCrosbyfervently，\"andremembersitsgreenhillscoveredwithapricotandalmondtrees，andthecoldwaterthatrushesdownlikeacaressfromtheuplandsnowsanddashesunderthelittlewoodenbridges，noonewhoremembersthesethingsandtreasuresthememoryofthemwouldevergiveupasingleoneofitsunwrittenlawsandcustoms。TometheyareasbindingasthoughIstilllivedinthathallowedhomeofmyyouth。\"
\"ThenifIwastoaskyouforasmallloan-\"beganthegreybeardfawningly，edgingnearerontheseatandhurriedlywonderinghowlargehemightsafelymakehisrequest，\"ifIwastoaskyoufor，say-\"
\"Atanyothertime，certainly，\"saidCrosby；\"inthemonthsofNovemberandDecember，however，itisabsolutelyforbiddenforanyoneofourracetogiveorreceiveloansorgifts；infact，onedoesnotwillinglyspeakofthem。Itisconsideredunlucky。Wewillthereforeclosethisdiscussion。\"
\"ButitisstillOctober！\"exclaimedtheadventurerwithaneager，angrywhine，asCrosbyrosefromhisseat；
\"wantseightdaystotheendofthemonth！\"
\"TheAfghanNovemberbeganyesterday，\"saidCrosbyseverely，andinanothermomenthewasstridingacrossthePark，leavinghisrecentcompanionscowlingandmutteringfuriouslyontheseat。
\"Idon\'tbelieveawordofhisstory，\"hechatteredtohimself；\"packofnastyliesfrombeginningtoend。
WishI\'dtoldhimsotohisface。CallinghimselfanAfghan！\"
Thesnortsandsnarlsthatescapedfromhimforthenextquarterofanhourwentfartosupportthetruthoftheoldsayingthattwoofatradeneveragree。
THESCHARTZ-METTERKLUMEMETHOD
LADYCARLOTTAsteppedoutontotheplatformofthesmallwaysidestationandtookaturnortwoupanddownitsuninterestinglength，tokilltimetillthetrainshouldbepleasedtoproceedonitsway。Then，intheroadwaybeyond，shesawahorsestrugglingwithamorethanampleload，andacarterofthesortthatseemstobearasullenhatredagainsttheanimalthathelpshimtoearnaliving。LadyCarlottapromptlybetookhertotheroadway，andputratheradifferentcomplexiononthestruggle。Certainofheracquaintanceswerewonttogiveherplentifuladmonitionastotheundesirabilityofinterferingonbehalfofadistressedanimal，suchinterferencebeing\"noneofherbusiness。\"Onlyoncehadsheputthedoctrineofnon-interferenceintopractice，whenoneofitsmosteloquentexponentshadbeenbesiegedfornearlythreehoursinasmallandextremelyuncomfortablemay-treebyanangryboar-pig，whileLadyCarlotta，ontheothersideofthefence，hadproceededwiththewater-coloursketchshewasengagedon，andrefusedtointerferebetweentheboarandhisprisoner。
Itistobefearedthatshelostthefriendshipoftheultimatelyrescuedlady。Onthisoccasionshemerelylostthetrain，whichgavewaytothefirstsignofimpatienceithadshownthroughoutthejourney，andsteamedoffwithouther。Sheborethedesertionwithphilosophicalindifference；herfriendsandrelationswerethoroughlywellusedtothefactofherluggagearrivingwithouther。Shewiredavaguenon-committalmessagetoherdestinationtosaythatshewascomingon\"byanothertrain。\"Beforeshehadtimetothinkwhathernextmovemightbeshewasconfrontedbyanimposinglyattiredlady，whoseemedtobetakingaprolongedmentalinventoryofherclothesandlooks。
\"YoumustbeMissHope，thegovernessI\'vecometomeet，\"saidtheapparition，inatonethatadmittedofverylittleargument。
\"Verywell，ifImustImust，\"saidLadyCarlottatoherselfwithdangerousmeekness。
\"IamMrs。Quabarl，\"continuedthelady；\"andwhere，pray，isyourluggage？\"
\"It\'sgoneastray，\"saidtheallegedgoverness，fallinginwiththeexcellentruleoflifethattheabsentarealwaystoblame；theluggagehad，inpointoffact，behavedwithperfectcorrectitude。\"I\'vejusttelegraphedaboutit，\"sheadded，withanearerapproachtotruth。
\"Howprovoking，\"saidMrs。Quabarl；\"theserailwaycompaniesaresocareless。However，mymaidcanlendyouthingsforthenight，\"andsheledthewaytohercar。
DuringthedrivetotheQuabarlmansionLadyCarlottawasimpressivelyintroducedtothenatureofthechargethathadbeenthrustuponher；shelearnedthatClaudeandWilfridweredelicate，sensitiveyoungpeople，thatIrenehadtheartistictemperamenthighlydeveloped，andthatViolawassomethingorotherelseofamouldequallycommonplaceamongchildrenofthatclassandtypeinthetwentiethcentury。
\"IwishthemnotonlytobeTAUGHT，\"saidMrs。
Quabarl，\"butINTERESTEDinwhattheylearn。Intheirhistorylessons，forinstance，youmusttrytomakethemfeelthattheyarebeingintroducedtothelife-storiesofmenandwomenwhoreallylived，notmerelycommittingamassofnamesanddatestomemory。French，ofcourse，Ishallexpectyoutotalkatmeal-timesseveraldaysintheweek。\"
\"IshalltalkFrenchfourdaysoftheweekandRussianintheremainingthree。\"
\"Russian？MydearMissHope，nooneinthehousespeaksorunderstandsRussian。\"
\"Thatwillnotembarrassmeintheleast，\"saidLadyCarlottacoldly。
Mrs。Quabarl，touseacolloquialexpression，wasknockedoffherperch。Shewasoneofthoseimperfectlyself-assuredindividualswhoaremagnificentandautocraticaslongastheyarenotseriouslyopposed。
Theleastshowofunexpectedresistancegoesalongwaytowardsrenderingthemcowedandapologetic。Whenthenewgovernessfailedtoexpresswonderingadmirationofthelargenewly-purchasedandexpensivecar，andlightlyalludedtothesuperioradvantagesofoneortwomakeswhichhadjustbeenputonthemarket，thediscomfitureofherpatronessbecamealmostabject。Herfeelingswerethosewhichmighthaveanimatedageneralofancientwarfaringdays，onbeholdinghisheaviestbattle-elephantignominiouslydrivenoffthefieldbyslingersandjavelinthrowers。
Atdinnerthatevening，althoughreinforcedbyherhusband，whousuallyduplicatedheropinionsandlenthermoralsupportgenerally，Mrs。Quabarlregainednoneofherlostground。Thegovernessnotonlyhelpedherselfwellandtrulytowine，butheldforthwithconsiderableshowofcriticalknowledgeonvariousvintagematters，concerningwhichtheQuabarlswereinnowiseabletoposeasauthorities。Previousgovernesseshadlimitedtheirconversationonthewinetopictoarespectfulanddoubtlesssincereexpressionofapreferenceforwater。
WhenthisonewentasfarastorecommendawinefirminwhosehandsyoucouldnotgoveryfarwrongMrs。Quabarlthoughtittimetoturntheconversationintomoreusualchannels。
\"WegotverysatisfactoryreferencesaboutyoufromCanonTeep，\"sheobserved；\"averyestimableman，I
shouldthink。\"
\"Drinkslikeafishandbeatshiswife，otherwiseaverylovablecharacter，\"saidthegovernessimperturbably。
\"MYDEARMissHope！Itrustyouareexaggerating，\"
exclaimedtheQuabarlsinunison。
\"Onemustinjusticeadmitthatthereissomeprovocation，\"continuedtheromancer。\"Mrs。Teepisquitethemostirritatingbridge-playerthatIhaveeversatdownwith；herleadsanddeclarationswouldcondoneacertainamountofbrutalityinherpartner，buttosouseherwiththecontentsoftheonlysoda-watersyphoninthehouseonaSundayafternoon，whenonecouldn\'tgetanother，arguesanindifferencetothecomfortofotherswhichIcannotaltogetheroverlook。Youmaythinkmehastyinmyjudgments，butitwaspracticallyonaccountofthesyphonincidentthatIleft。\"
\"Wewilltalkofthissomeothertime，\"saidMrs。
Quabarlhastily。
\"Ishallneveralludetoitagain，\"saidthegovernesswithdecision。
Mr。Quabarlmadeawelcomediversionbyaskingwhatstudiesthenewinstructressproposedtoinaugurateonthemorrow。
\"Historytobeginwith，\"sheinformedhim。
\"Ah，history，\"heobservedsagely；\"nowinteachingthemhistoryyoumusttakecaretointeresttheminwhattheylearn。Youmustmakethemfeelthattheyarebeingintroducedtothelife-storiesofmenandwomenwhoreallylived-\"
\"I\'vetoldherallthat，\"interposedMrs。Quabarl。
\"IteachhistoryontheSchartz-Metterklumemethod，\"
saidthegovernessloftily。
\"Ah，yes，\"saidherlisteners，thinkingitexpedienttoassumeanacquaintanceatleastwiththename。
****
\"Whatareyouchildrendoingouthere？\"demandedMrs。Quabarlthenextmorning，onfindingIrenesittingratherglumlyattheheadofthestairs，whilehersisterwasperchedinanattitudeofdepresseddiscomfortonthewindow-seatbehindher，withawolf-skinrugalmostcoveringher。
\"Wearehavingahistorylesson，\"cametheunexpectedreply。\"IamsupposedtobeRome，andViolaupthereistheshe-wolf；notarealwolf，butthefigureofonethattheRomansusedtosetstoreby-Iforgetwhy。ClaudeandWilfridhavegonetofetchtheshabbywomen。\"
\"Theshabbywomen？\"
\"Yes，they\'vegottocarrythemoff。Theydidn\'twantto，butMissHopegotoneoffather\'sfives-batsandsaidshe\'dgivethemanumberninespankingiftheydidn\'t，sothey\'vegonetodoit。\"
Aloud，angryscreamingfromthedirectionofthelawndrewMrs。Quabarlthitherinhothaste，fearfullestthethreatenedcastigationmightevennowbeinprocessofinfliction。Theoutcry，however，cameprincipallyfromthetwosmalldaughtersofthelodge-keeper，whowerebeinghauledandpushedtowardsthehousebythepantinganddishevelledClaudeandWilfrid，whosetaskwasrenderedevenmorearduousbytheincessant，ifnotveryeffectual，attacksofthecapturedmaidens\'smallbrother。Thegoverness，fives-batinhand，satnegligentlyonthestonebalustrade，presidingoverthescenewiththecoldimpartialityofaGoddessofBattles。
Afuriousandrepeatedchorusof\"I\'lltellmuvver\"rosefromthelodge-children，butthelodge-mother，whowashardofhearing，wasforthemomentimmersedinthepreoccupationofherwashtub。
Afteranapprehensiveglanceinthedirectionofthelodge（thegoodwomanwasgiftedwiththehighlymilitanttemperwhichissometimestheprivilegeofdeafness）Mrs。
Quabarlflewindignantlytotherescueofthestrugglingcaptives。
\"Wilfrid！Claude！Letthosechildrengoatonce。
MissHope，whatonearthisthemeaningofthisscene？\"
\"EarlyRomanhistory；theSabineWomen，don\'tyouknow？It\'stheSchartz-Metterklumemethodtomakechildrenunderstandhistorybyactingitthemselves；
fixesitintheirmemory，youknow。Ofcourse，if，thankstoyourinterference，yourboysgothroughlifethinkingthattheSabinewomenultimatelyescaped，I
reallycannotbeheldresponsible。\"
\"Youmaybeverycleverandmodern，MissHope，\"saidMrs。Quabarlfirmly，\"butIshouldlikeyoutoleaveherebythenexttrain。Yourluggagewillbesentafteryouassoonasitarrives。\"
\"I\'mnotcertainexactlywhereIshallbeforthenextfewdays，\"saidthedismissedinstructressofyouth；
\"youmightkeepmyluggagetillIwiremyaddress。Thereareonlyacoupleoftrunksandsomegolf-clubsandaleopardcub。\"
\"Aleopardcub！\"gaspedMrs。Quabarl。Eveninherdeparturethisextraordinarypersonseemeddestinedtoleaveatrailofembarrassmentbehindher。
\"Well，it\'sratherleftoffbeingacub；it\'smorethanhalf-grown，youknow。AfowleverydayandarabbitonSundaysiswhatitusuallygets。Rawbeefmakesittooexcitable。Don\'ttroubleaboutgettingthecarforme，I\'mratherinclinedforawalk。\"
AndLadyCarlottastrodeoutoftheQuabarlhorizon。
TheadventofthegenuineMissHope，whohadmadeamistakeastothedayonwhichshewasduetoarrive，causedaturmoilwhichthatgoodladywasquiteunusedtoinspiring。ObviouslytheQuabarlfamilyhadbeenwoefullybefooled，butacertainamountofreliefcamewiththeknowledge。
\"Howtiresomeforyou，dearCarlotta，\"saidherhostess，whentheoverdueguestultimatelyarrived；\"howverytiresomelosingyourtrainandhavingtostopovernightinastrangeplace。\"
\"Ohdear，no，\"saidLadyCarlotta；\"notatalltiresome-forme。\"
THESEVENTHPULLET
\"IT\'SnotthedailygrindthatIcomplainof，\"saidBlenkinthroperesentfully；\"it\'sthedullgreysamenessofmylifeoutsideofofficehours。Nothingofinterestcomesmyway，nothingremarkableoroutofthecommon。
EventhelittlethingsthatIdotrytofindsomeinterestindon\'tseemtointerestotherpeople。Thingsinmygarden，forinstance。\"
\"Thepotatothatweighedjustovertwopounds，\"saidhisfriendGorworth。
\"DidItellyouaboutthat？\"saidBlenkinthrope；\"I
wastellingtheothersinthetrainthismorning。I
forgotifI\'dtoldyou。\"
\"Tobeexactyoutoldmethatitweighedjustundertwopounds，butItookintoaccountthefactthatabnormalvegetablesandfreshwaterfishhaveanafter-
life，inwhichgrowthisnotarrested。\"
\"You\'rejustliketheothers，\"saidBlenkinthropesadly，\"youonlymakefunofit。\"
\"Thefaultiswiththepotato，notwithus，\"saidGorworth；\"wearenotintheleastinterestedinitbecauseitisnotintheleastinteresting。Themenyougoupinthetrainwitheverydayarejustinthesamecaseasyourself；theirlivesarecommonplaceandnotveryinterestingtothemselves，andtheycertainlyarenotgoingtowaxenthusiasticoverthecommonplaceeventsinothermen\'slives。Tellthemsomethingstartling，dramatic，piquantthathashappenedtoyourselfortosomeoneinyourfamily，andyouwillcapturetheirinterestatonce。Theywilltalkaboutyouwithacertainpersonalpridetoalltheiracquaintances。\'ManIknowintimately，fellowcalledBlenkinthrope，livesdownmyway，hadtwoofhisfingersclawedcleanoffbyalobsterhewascarryinghometosupper。Doctorsaysentirehandmayhavetocomeoff。\'Nowthatisconversationofaveryhighorder。Butimaginewalkingintoatennisclubwiththeremark：\'Iknowamanwhohasgrownapotatoweighingtwoandaquarterpounds。\'\"
\"Buthangitall，mydearfellow，\"saidBlenkinthropeimpatiently，\"haven\'tIjusttoldyouthatnothingofaremarkablenatureeverhappenstome？\"
\"Inventsomething，\"saidGorworth。SincewinningaprizeforexcellenceinScripturalknowledgeatapreparatoryschoolhehadfeltlicensedtobealittlemoreunscrupulousthanthecirclehemovedin。MuchmightsurelybeexcusedtoonewhoinearlylifecouldgivealistofseventeentreesmentionedintheOldTestament。
\"Whatsortofthing？\"askedBlenkinthrope，somewhatsnappishly。