第2章
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  Timecame,perhaps,allsosoon,whenourthoughtsover-leapedthatnarrowboundary;whentherewassomeone(verydear,wethoughtthen,verybeautiful,andabsolutelyperfect)wantingtothefulnessofourhappiness;whenwewerewantingtoo(orwethoughtso,whichdidjustaswell)attheChristmashearthbywhichthatsomeonesat;andwhenweintertwinedwitheverywreathandgarlandofourlifethatsomeone’sname。

  ThatwasthetimeforthebrightvisionaryChristmaseswhichhavelongarisenfromustoshowfaintly,aftersummerrain,inthepalestedgesoftherainbow!Thatwasthetimeforthebeatifiedenjoymentofthethingsthatweretobe,andneverwere,andyetthethingsthatweresorealinourresolutehopethatitwouldbehardtosay,now,whatrealitiesachievedsince,havebeenstronger!

  What!DidthatChristmasneverreallycomewhenweandthepricelesspearlwhowasouryoungchoicewerereceived,afterthehappiestoftotallyimpossiblemarriages,bythetwounitedfamiliespreviouslyatdaggers——drawnonouraccount?Whenbrothersandsisters-in-lawwhohadalwaysbeenrathercooltousbeforeourrelationshipwaseffected,perfectlydotedonus,andwhenfathersandmothersoverwhelmeduswithunlimitedincomes?WasthatChristmasdinnerneverreallyeaten,afterwhichwearose,andgenerouslyandeloquentlyrenderedhonourtoourlaterival,presentinthecompany,thenandthereexchangingfriendshipandforgiveness,andfoundinganattachment,nottobesurpassedinGreekorRomanstory,whichsubsisteduntildeath?Hasthatsamerivallongceasedtocareforthatsamepricelesspearl,andmarriedformoney,andbecomeusurious?Aboveall,dowereallyknow,now,thatweshouldprobablyhavebeenmiserableifwehadwonandwornthepearl,andthatwearebetterwithouther?

  ThatChristmaswhenwehadrecentlyachievedsomuchfame;whenwehadbeencarriedintriumphsomewhere,fordoingsomethinggreatandgood;whenwehadwonanhonouredandennobledname,andarrivedandwerereceivedathomeinashoweroftearsofjoy;isitpossiblethatTHATChristmashasnotcomeyet?

  Andisourlifehere,atthebest,soconstitutedthat,pausingasweadvanceatsuchanoticeablemile-stoneinthetrackasthisgreatbirthday,welookbackonthethingsthatneverwere,asnaturallyandfullasgravelyasonthethingsthathavebeenandaregone,orhavebeenandstillare?Ifitbeso,andsoitseemstobe,mustwecometotheconclusionthatlifeislittlebetterthanadream,andlittleworththelovesandstrivingsthatwecrowdintoit?

  No!Farbesuchmiscalledphilosophyfromus,dearReader,onChristmasDay!NearerandclosertoourheartsbetheChristmasspirit,whichisthespiritofactiveusefulness,perseverance,cheerfuldischargeofduty,kindnessandforbearance!Itisinthelastvirtuesespecially,thatweare,orshouldbe,strengthenedbytheunaccomplishedvisionsofouryouth;for,whoshallsaythattheyarenotourteacherstodealgentlyevenwiththeimpalpablenothingsoftheearth!

  Therefore,aswegrowolder,letusbemorethankfulthatthecircleofourChristmasassociationsandofthelessonsthattheybring,expands!Letuswelcomeeveryoneofthem,andsummonthemtotaketheirplacesbytheChristmashearth。

  Welcome,oldaspirations,glitteringcreaturesofanardentfancy,toyourshelterunderneaththeholly!Weknowyou,andhavenotoutlivedyouyet。Welcome,oldprojectsandoldloves,howeverfleeting,toyournooksamongthesteadierlightsthatburnaroundus。Welcome,allthatwaseverrealtoourhearts;andfortheearnestnessthatmadeyoureal,thankstoHeaven!DowebuildnoChristmascastlesinthecloudsnow?Letourthoughts,flutteringlikebutterfliesamongtheseflowersofchildren,bearwitness!

  Beforethisboy,therestretchesoutaFuture,brighterthanweeverlookedoninouroldromantictime,butbrightwithhonourandwithtruth。Aroundthislittleheadonwhichthesunnycurlslieheaped,thegracessport,asprettily,asairily,aswhentherewasnoscythewithinthereachofTimetoshearawaythecurlsofourfirst-love。Uponanothergirl’sfacenearit——placiderbutsmilingbright——aquietandcontentedlittleface,weseeHomefairlywritten。Shiningfromtheword,asraysshinefromastar,weseehow,whenourgravesareold,otherhopesthanoursareyoung,otherheartsthanoursaremoved;howotherwaysaresmoothed;howotherhappinessblooms,ripens,anddecays——no,notdecays,forotherhomesandotherbandsofchildren,notyetinbeingnorforagesyettobe,arise,andbloomandripentotheendofall!

  Welcome,everything!Welcome,alikewhathasbeen,andwhatneverwas,andwhatwehopemaybe,toyourshelterunderneaththeholly,toyourplacesroundtheChristmasfire,wherewhatissitsopen-

  hearted!Inyondershadow,doweseeobtrudingfurtivelyupontheblaze,anenemy’sface?ByChristmasDaywedoforgivehim!Iftheinjuryhehasdoneusmayadmitofsuchcompanionship,lethimcomehereandtakehisplace。Ifotherwise,unhappily,lethimgohence,assuredthatwewillneverinjurenoraccusehim。

  OnthisdayweshutoutNothing!

  \"Pause,\"saysalowvoice。\"Nothing?Think!\"

  \"OnChristmasDay,wewillshutoutfromourfireside,Nothing。\"

  \"NottheshadowofavastCitywherethewitheredleavesarelyingdeep?\"thevoicereplies。\"Nottheshadowthatdarkensthewholeglobe?NottheshadowoftheCityoftheDead?\"

  Noteventhat。Ofalldaysintheyear,wewillturnourfacestowardsthatCityuponChristmasDay,andfromitssilenthostsbringthoseweloved,amongus。CityoftheDead,intheblessednamewhereinwearegatheredtogetheratthistime,andinthePresencethatishereamongusaccordingtothepromise,wewillreceive,andnotdismiss,thypeoplewhoaredeartous!

  Yes。Wecanlookuponthesechildrenangelsthatalight,sosolemnly,sobeautifullyamongthelivingchildrenbythefire,andcanbeartothinkhowtheydepartedfromus。Entertainingangelsunawares,asthePatriarchsdid,theplayfulchildrenareunconsciousoftheirguests;butwecanseethem——canseearadiantarmaroundonefavouriteneck,asiftherewereatemptingofthatchildaway。Amongthecelestialfiguresthereisone,apoormisshapenboyonearth,ofagloriousbeautynow,ofwhomhisdyingmothersaiditgrievedhermuchtoleavehimhere,alone,forsomanyyearsasitwaslikelywouldelapsebeforehecametoher——

  beingsuchalittlechild。Buthewentquickly,andwaslaiduponherbreast,andinherhandsheleadshim。

  Therewasagallantboy,whofell,faraway,uponaburningsandbeneathaburningsun,andsaid,\"Tellthemathome,withmylastlove,howmuchIcouldhavewishedtokissthemonce,butthatI

  diedcontentedandhaddonemyduty!\"Ortherewasanother,overwhomtheyreadthewords,\"Thereforewecommithisbodytothedeep,\"andsoconsignedhimtothelonelyoceanandsailedon。Ortherewasanother,wholaydowntohisrestinthedarkshadowofgreatforests,and,onearth,awokenomore。Oshalltheynot,fromsandandseaandforest,bebroughthomeatsuchatime!

  Therewasadeargirl——almostawoman——nevertobeone——whomadeamourningChristmasinahouseofjoy,andwenthertracklesswaytothesilentCity。Dowerecollecther,wornout,faintlywhisperingwhatcouldnotbeheard,andfallingintothatlastsleepforweariness?Olookuponhernow!Olookuponherbeauty,herserenity,herchangelessyouth,herhappiness!ThedaughterofJairuswasrecalledtolife,todie;butshe,moreblest,hasheardthesamevoice,sayinguntoher,\"Ariseforever!\"

  Wehadafriendwhowasourfriendfromearlydays,withwhomweoftenpicturedthechangesthatweretocomeuponourlives,andmerrilyimaginedhowwewouldspeak,andwalk,andthink,andtalk,whenwecametobeold。HisdestinedhabitationintheCityoftheDeadreceivedhiminhisprime。ShallhebeshutoutfromourChristmasremembrance?Wouldhislovehavesoexcludedus?Lostfriend,lostchild,lostparent,sister,brother,husband,wife,wewillnotsodiscardyou!YoushallholdyourcherishedplacesinourChristmashearts,andbyourChristmasfires;andintheseasonofimmortalhope,andonthebirthdayofimmortalmercy,wewillshutoutNothing!

  Thewintersungoesdownovertownandvillage;ontheseaitmakesarosypath,asiftheSacredtreadwerefreshuponthewater。A

  fewmoremoments,anditsinks,andnightcomeson,andlightsbegintosparkleintheprospect。Onthehill-sidebeyondtheshapelessly-diffusedtown,andinthequietkeepingofthetreesthatgirdthevillage-steeple,remembrancesarecutinstone,plantedincommonflowers,growingingrass,entwinedwithlowlybramblesaroundmanyamoundofearth。Intownandvillage,therearedoorsandwindowsclosedagainsttheweather,thereareflaminglogsheapedhigh,therearejoyfulfaces,thereishealthymusicofvoices。BeallungentlenessandharmexcludedfromthetemplesoftheHouseholdGods,butbethoseremembrancesadmittedwithtenderencouragement!Theyareofthetimeandallitscomfortingandpeacefulreassurances;andofthehistorythatre-unitedevenuponearththelivingandthedead;andofthebroadbeneficenceandgoodnessthattoomanymenhavetriedtoteartonarrowshreds。

  THEPOORRELATION’SSTORY

  Hewasveryreluctanttotakeprecedenceofsomanyrespectedmembersofthefamily,bybeginningtheroundofstoriestheyweretorelateastheysatinagoodlycirclebytheChristmasfire;andhemodestlysuggestedthatitwouldbemorecorrectif\"Johnouresteemedhost\"(whosehealthhebeggedtodrink)wouldhavethekindnesstobegin。Forastohimself,hesaid,hewassolittleusedtoleadthewaythatreally——Butastheyallcriedouthere,thathemustbegin,andagreedwithonevoicethathemight,could,would,andshouldbegin,heleftoffrubbinghishands,andtookhislegsoutfromunderhisarmchair,anddidbegin。

  Ihavenodoubt(saidthepoorrelation)thatIshallsurprisetheassembledmembersofourfamily,andparticularlyJohnouresteemedhosttowhomwearesomuchindebtedforthegreathospitalitywithwhichhehasthisdayentertainedus,bytheconfessionIamgoingtomake。But,ifyoudomethehonourtobesurprisedatanythingthatfallsfromapersonsounimportantinthefamilyasIam,IcanonlysaythatIshallbescrupulouslyaccurateinallIrelate。

  IamnotwhatIamsupposedtobe。Iamquiteanotherthing。

  PerhapsbeforeIgofurther,IhadbetterglanceatwhatIAM

  supposedtobe。

  Itissupposed,unlessImistake——theassembledmembersofourfamilywillcorrectmeifIdo,whichisverylikely(herethepoorrelationlookedmildlyabouthimforcontradiction);thatIamnobody’senemybutmyown。ThatInevermetwithanyparticularsuccessinanything。ThatIfailedinbusinessbecauseIwasunbusiness-likeandcredulous——innotbeingpreparedfortheinteresteddesignsofmypartner。ThatIfailedinlove,becauseI

  wasridiculouslytrustful——inthinkingitimpossiblethatChristianacoulddeceiveme。ThatIfailedinmyexpectationsfrommyuncleChill,onaccountofnotbeingassharpashecouldhavewishedinworldlymatters。That,throughlife,Ihavebeenratherputuponanddisappointedinageneralway。ThatIamatpresentabachelorofbetweenfifty-nineandsixtyyearsofage,livingonalimitedincomeintheformofaquarterlyallowance,towhichIseethatJohnouresteemedhostwishesmetomakenofurtherallusion。

  Thesuppositionastomypresentpursuitsandhabitsistothefollowingeffect。

  IliveinalodgingintheClaphamRoad——averycleanbackroom,inaveryrespectablehouse——whereIamexpectednottobeathomeintheday-time,unlesspoorly;andwhichIusuallyleaveinthemorningatnineo’clock,onpretenceofgoingtobusiness。Itakemybreakfast——myrollandbutter,andmyhalf-pintofcoffee——attheold-establishedcoffee-shopnearWestminsterBridge;andthenIgointotheCity——Idon’tknowwhy——andsitinGarraway’sCoffeeHouse,andon’Change,andwalkabout,andlookintoafewofficesandcounting-houseswheresomeofmyrelationsoracquaintancearesogoodastotolerateme,andwhereIstandbythefireiftheweatherhappenstobecold。Igetthroughthedayinthiswayuntilfiveo’clock,andthenIdine:atacost,ontheaverage,ofoneandthreepence。Havingstillalittlemoneytospendonmyevening’sentertainment,Ilookintotheold-establishedcoffee-shopasIgohome,andtakemycupoftea,andperhapsmybitoftoast。So,asthelargehandoftheclockmakesitswayroundtothemorninghouragain,ImakemywayroundtotheClaphamRoadagain,andgotobedwhenIgettomylodging——firebeingexpensive,andbeingobjectedtobythefamilyonaccountofitsgivingtroubleandmakingadirt。

  Sometimes,oneofmyrelationsoracquaintancesissoobligingastoaskmetodinner。Thoseareholidayoccasions,andthenIgenerallywalkinthePark。Iamasolitaryman,andseldomwalkwithanybody。NotthatIamavoidedbecauseIamshabby;forIamnotatallshabby,havingalwaysaverygoodsuitofblackon(orratherOxfordmixture,whichhastheappearanceofblackandwearsmuchbetter);butIhavegotintoahabitofspeakinglow,andbeingrathersilent,andmyspiritsarenothigh,andIamsensiblethatI

  amnotanattractivecompanion。

  Theonlyexceptiontothisgeneralruleisthechildofmyfirstcousin,LittleFrank。Ihaveaparticularaffectionforthatchild,andhetakesverykindlytome。Heisadiffidentboybynature;

  andinacrowdheissoonrunover,asImaysay,andforgotten。HeandI,however,getonexceedinglywell。Ihaveafancythatthepoorchildwillintimesucceedtomypeculiarpositioninthefamily。Wetalkbutlittle;still,weunderstandeachother。Wewalkabout,handinhand;andwithoutmuchspeakingheknowswhatI

  mean,andIknowwhathemeans。Whenhewasverylittleindeed,I

  usedtotakehimtothewindowsofthetoy-shops,andshowhimthetoysinside。ItissurprisinghowsoonhefoundoutthatIwouldhavemadehimagreatmanypresentsifIhadbeenincircumstancestodoit。

  LittleFrankandIgoandlookattheoutsideoftheMonument——heisveryfondoftheMonument——andattheBridges,andatallthesightsthatarefree。Ontwoofmybirthdays,wehavedinedone-la-modebeef,andgoneathalf-pricetotheplay,andbeendeeplyinterested。IwasoncewalkingwithhiminLombardStreet,whichweoftenvisitonaccountofmyhavingmentionedtohimthattherearegreatrichesthere——heisveryfondofLombardStreet——whenagentlemansaidtomeashepassedby,\"Sir,yourlittlesonhasdroppedhisglove。\"Iassureyou,ifyouwillexcusemyremarkingonsotrivialacircumstance,thisaccidentalmentionofthechildasmine,quitetouchedmyheartandbroughtthefoolishtearsintomyeyes。

  WhenLittleFrankissenttoschoolinthecountry,Ishallbeverymuchatalosswhattodowithmyself,butIhavetheintentionofwalkingdownthereonceamonthandseeinghimonahalfholiday。I

  amtoldhewillthenbeatplayupontheHeath;andifmyvisitsshouldbeobjectedto,asunsettlingthechild,Icanseehimfromadistancewithouthisseeingme,andwalkbackagain。Hismothercomesofahighlygenteelfamily,andratherdisapproves,Iamaware,ofourbeingtoomuchtogether。IknowthatIamnotcalculatedtoimprovehisretiringdisposition;butIthinkhewouldmissmebeyondthefeelingofthemomentifwewerewhollyseparated。

  WhenIdieintheClaphamRoad,IshallnotleavemuchmoreinthisworldthanIshalltakeoutofit;but,Ihappentohaveaminiatureofabright-facedboy,withacurlinghead,andanopenshirt-frillwavingdownhisbosom(mymotherhadittakenforme,butIcan’tbelievethatitwaseverlike),whichwillbeworthnothingtosell,andwhichIshallbegmayhegiventoFrank。Ihavewrittenmydearboyalittleletterwithit,inwhichIhavetoldhimthatIfeltverysorrytopartfromhim,thoughboundtoconfessthatIknewnoreasonwhyIshouldremainhere。Ihavegivenhimsomeshortadvice,thebestinmypower,totakewarningoftheconsequencesofbeingnobody’senemybuthisown;andIhaveendeavouredtocomforthimforwhatIfearhewillconsiderabereavement,bypointingouttohim,thatIwasonlyasuperfluoussomethingtoeveryonebuthim;andthathavingbysomemeansfailedtofindaplaceinthisgreatassembly,Iambetteroutofit。

  Such(saidthepoorrelation,clearinghisthroatandbeginningtospeakalittlelouder)isthegeneralimpressionaboutme。Now,itisaremarkablecircumstancewhichformstheaimandpurposeofmystory,thatthisisallwrong。Thisisnotmylife,andthesearenotmyhabits。IdonotevenliveintheClaphamRoad。

  Comparativelyspeaking,Iamveryseldomthere。Ireside,mostly,ina——Iamalmostashamedtosaytheword,itsoundssofullofpretension——inaCastle。Idonotmeanthatitisanoldbaronialhabitation,butstillitisabuildingalwaysknowntoeveryonebythenameofaCastle。Init,Ipreservetheparticularsofmyhistory;theyrunthus:

  ItwaswhenIfirsttookJohnSpatter(whohadbeenmyclerk)intopartnership,andwhenIwasstillayoungmanofnotmorethanfive-

  and-twenty,residinginthehouseofmyuncleChill,fromwhomIhadconsiderableexpectations,thatIventuredtoproposetoChristiana。

  IhadlovedChristianaalongtime。Shewasverybeautiful,andverywinninginallrespects。Irathermistrustedherwidowedmother,whoIfearedwasofaplottingandmercenaryturnofmind;

  but,IthoughtaswellofherasIcould,forChristiana’ssake。I

  neverhadlovedanyonebutChristiana,andshehadbeenalltheworld,andOfarmorethanalltheworld,tome,fromourchildhood!

  Christianaacceptedmewithhermother’sconsent,andIwasrenderedveryhappyindeed。MylifeatmyuncleChill’swasofasparedullkind,andmygarretchamberwasasdull,andbare,andcold,asanupperprisonroominsomesternnorthernfortress。But,havingChristiana’slove,Iwantednothinguponearth。Iwouldnothavechangedmylotwithanyhumanbeing。

  Avaricewas,unhappily,myuncleChill’smaster-vice。Thoughhewasrich,hepinched,andscraped,andclutched,andlivedmiserably。

  AsChristianahadnofortune,Iwasforsometimealittlefearfulofconfessingourengagementtohim;but,atlengthIwrotehimaletter,sayinghowitalltrulywas。Iputitintohishandonenight,ongoingtobed。

  AsIcamedown-stairsnextmorning,shiveringinthecoldDecemberair;colderinmyuncle’sunwarmedhousethaninthestreet,wherethewintersundidsometimesshine,andwhichwasatalleventsenlivenedbycheerfulfacesandvoicespassingalong;Icarriedaheavyhearttowardsthelong,lowbreakfast-roominwhichmyunclesat。Itwasalargeroomwithasmallfire,andtherewasagreatbaywindowinitwhichtherainhadmarkedinthenightasifwiththetearsofhouselesspeople。Itstareduponarawyard,withacrackedstonepavement,andsomerustedironrailingshalfuprooted,whenceanuglyout-buildingthathadoncebeenadissecting-room(inthetimeofthegreatsurgeonwhohadmortgagedthehousetomyuncle),staredatit。

  Werosesoearlyalways,thatatthattimeoftheyearwebreakfastedbycandle-light。WhenIwentintotheroom,myunclewassocontractedbythecold,andsohuddledtogetherinhischairbehindtheonedimcandle,thatIdidnotseehimuntilIwasclosetothetable。

  AsIheldoutmyhandtohim,hecaughtuphisstick(beinginfirm,healwayswalkedaboutthehousewithastick),andmadeablowatme,andsaid,\"Youfool!\"

  \"Uncle,\"Ireturned,\"Ididn’texpectyoutobesoangryasthis。\"

  NorhadIexpectedit,thoughhewasahardandangryoldman。

  \"Youdidn’texpect!\"saidhe;\"whendidyoueverexpect?Whendidyouevercalculate,orlookforward,youcontemptibledog?\"

  \"Thesearehardwords,uncle!\"

  \"Hardwords?Feathers,topeltsuchanidiotasyouwith,\"saidhe。

  \"Here!BetsySnap!Lookathim!\"

  BetsySnapwasawithered,hard-favoured,yellowoldwoman——ouronlydomestic——alwaysemployed,atthistimeofthemorning,inrubbingmyuncle’slegs。Asmyuncleadjuredhertolookatme,heputhisleangriponthecrownofherhead,shekneelingbesidehim,andturnedherfacetowardsme。AninvoluntarythoughtconnectingthembothwiththeDissectingRoom,asitmustoftenhavebeeninthesurgeon’stime,passedacrossmymindinthemidstofmyanxiety。

  \"Lookatthesnivellingmilksop!\"saidmyuncle。\"Lookatthebaby!

  Thisisthegentlemanwho,peoplesay,isnobody’senemybuthisown。Thisisthegentlemanwhocan’tsayno。Thisisthegentlemanwhowasmakingsuchlargeprofitsinhisbusinessthathemustneedstakeapartner,t’otherday。Thisisthegentlemanwhoisgoingtomarryawifewithoutapenny,andwhofallsintothehandsofJezabelswhoarespeculatingonmydeath!\"

  Iknew,now,howgreatmyuncle’sragewas;fornothingshortofhisbeingalmostbesidehimselfwouldhaveinducedhimtoutterthatconcludingword,whichheheldinsuchrepugnancethatitwasneverspokenorhintedatbeforehimonanyaccount。

  \"Onmydeath,\"herepeated,asifheweredefyingmebydefyinghisownabhorrenceoftheword。\"Onmydeath——death——Death!ButI’llspoilthespeculation。Eatyourlastunderthisroof,youfeeblewretch,andmayitchokeyou!\"

  YoumaysupposethatIhadnotmuchappetiteforthebreakfasttowhichIwasbiddenintheseterms;but,Itookmyaccustomedseat。

  IsawthatIwasrepudiatedhenceforthbymyuncle;stillIcouldbearthatverywell,possessingChristiana’sheart。

  Heemptiedhisbasinofbreadandmilkasusual,onlythathetookitonhiskneeswithhischairturnedawayfromthetablewhereI

  sat。Whenhehaddone,hecarefullysnuffedoutthecandle;andthecold,slate-coloured,miserabledaylookedinuponus。

  \"Now,Mr。Michael,\"saidhe,\"beforewepart,Ishouldliketohaveawordwiththeseladiesinyourpresence。\"

  \"Asyouwill,sir,\"Ireturned;\"butyoudeceiveyourself,andwrongus,cruelly,ifyousupposethatthereisanyfeelingatstakeinthiscontractbutpure,disinterested,faithfullove。\"

  Tothis,heonlyreplied,\"Youlie!\"andnotoneotherword。

  Wewent,throughhalf-thawedsnowandhalf-frozenrain,tothehousewhereChristianaandhermotherlived。Myuncleknewthemverywell。Theyweresittingattheirbreakfast,andweresurprisedtoseeusatthathour。

  \"Yourservant,ma’am,\"saidmyuncletothemother。\"Youdivinethepurposeofmyvisit,Idaresay,ma’am。Iunderstandthereisaworldofpure,disinterested,faithfullovecoopeduphere。Iamhappytobringitallitwants,tomakeitcomplete。Ibringyouyourson-in-law,ma’am——andyou,yourhusband,miss。Thegentlemanisaperfectstrangertome,butIwishhimjoyofhiswisebargain。\"

  Hesnarledatmeashewentout,andIneversawhimagain。

  Itisaltogetheramistake(continuedthepoorrelation)tosupposethatmydearChristiana,over-persuadedandinfluencedbyhermother,marriedarichman,thedirtfromwhosecarriagewheelsisoften,inthesechangedtimes,thrownuponmeassheridesby。No,no。Shemarriedme。

  Thewaywecametobemarriedrathersoonerthanweintended,wasthis。Itookafrugallodgingandwassavingandplanningforhersake,when,oneday,shespoketomewithgreatearnestness,andsaid:

  \"MydearMichael,Ihavegivenyoumyheart。IhavesaidthatI

  lovedyou,andIhavepledgedmyselftobeyourwife。Iamasmuchyoursthroughallchangesofgoodandevilasifwehadbeenmarriedonthedaywhensuchwordspassedbetweenus。Iknowyouwell,andknowthatifweshouldbeseparatedandourunionbrokenoff,yourwholelifewouldbeshadowed,andallthatmight,evennow,bestrongerinyourcharacterfortheconflictwiththeworldwouldthenbeweakenedtotheshadowofwhatitis!\"

  \"Godhelpme,Christiana!\"saidI。\"Youspeakthetruth。\"

  \"Michael!\"saidshe,puttingherhandinmine,inallmaidenlydevotion,\"letuskeepapartnolonger。ItisbutformetosaythatIcanlivecontenteduponsuchmeansasyouhave,andIwellknowyouarehappy。Isaysofrommyheart。Strivenomorealone;

  letusstrivetogether。MydearMichael,itisnotrightthatI

  shouldkeepsecretfromyouwhatyoudonotsuspect,butwhatdistressesmywholelife。Mymother:withoutconsideringthatwhatyouhavelost,youhavelostforme,andontheassuranceofmyfaith:setsherheartonriches,andurgesanothersuituponme,tomymisery。Icannotbearthis,fortobearitistobeuntruetoyou。Iwouldrathershareyourstrugglesthanlookon。Iwantnobetterhomethanyoucangiveme。IknowthatyouwillaspireandlabourwithahighercourageifIamwhollyyours,andletitbesowhenyouwill!\"

  Iwasblestindeed,thatday,andanewworldopenedtome。Weweremarriedinaverylittlewhile,andItookmywifetoourhappyhome。ThatwasthebeginningoftheresidenceIhavespokenof;theCastlewehaveeversinceinhabitedtogether,datesfromthattime。

  Allourchildrenhavebeenborninit。Ourfirstchild——nowmarried——wasalittlegirl,whomwecalledChristiana。HersonissolikeLittleFrank,thatIhardlyknowwhichiswhich。

  Thecurrentimpressionastomypartner’sdealingswithmeisalsoquiteerroneous。Hedidnotbegintotreatmecoldly,asapoorsimpleton,whenmyuncleandIsofatallyquarrelled;nordidheafterwardsgraduallypossesshimselfofourbusinessandedgemeout。Onthecontrary,hebehavedtomewiththeutmostgoodfaithandhonour。

  Mattersbetweenustookthisturn:-Onthedayofmyseparationfrommyuncle,andevenbeforethearrivalatourcounting-houseofmytrunks(whichhesentafterme,NOTcarriagepaid),Iwentdowntoourroomofbusiness,onourlittlewharf,overlookingtheriver;

  andthereItoldJohnSpatterwhathadhappened。Johndidnotsay,inreply,thatricholdrelativeswerepalpablefacts,andthatloveandsentimentweremoonshineandfiction。Headdressedmethus:

  \"Michael,\"saidJohn,\"wewereatschooltogether,andIgenerallyhadtheknackofgettingonbetterthanyou,andmakingahigherreputation。\"

  \"Youhad,John,\"Ireturned。

  \"Although\"saidJohn,\"Iborrowedyourbooksandlostthem;borrowedyourpocket-money,andneverrepaidit;gotyoutobuymydamagedknivesatahigherpricethanIhadgivenforthemnew;andtoowntothewindowsthatIhadbroken。\"

  \"Allnotworthmentioning,JohnSpatter,\"saidI,\"butcertainlytrue。\"

  \"Whenyouwerefirstestablishedinthisinfantbusiness,whichpromisestothrivesowell,\"pursuedJohn,\"Icametoyou,inmysearchforalmostanyemployment,andyoumademeyourclerk。\"

  \"Stillnotworthmentioning,mydearJohnSpatter,\"saidI;\"still,equallytrue。\"

  \"AndfindingthatIhadagoodheadforbusiness,andthatIwasreallyusefulTOthebusiness,youdidnotliketoretainmeinthatcapacity,andthoughtitanactofjusticesoontomakemeyourpartner。\"

  \"Stilllessworthmentioningthananyofthoseotherlittlecircumstancesyouhaverecalled,JohnSpatter,\"saidI;\"forIwas,andam,sensibleofyourmeritsandmydeficiencies。\"

  \"Now,mygoodfriend,\"saidJohn,drawingmyarmthroughhis,ashehadhadahabitofdoingatschool;whiletwovesselsoutsidethewindowsofourcounting-house——whichwereshapedlikethesternwindowsofaship——wentlightlydowntheriverwiththetide,asJohnandImightthenbesailingawayincompany,andintrustandconfidence,onourvoyageoflife;\"letthere,underthesefriendlycircumstances,bearightunderstandingbetweenus。Youaretooeasy,Michael。Youarenobody’senemybutyourown。IfIweretogiveyouthatdamagingcharacteramongourconnexion,withashrug,andashakeofthehead,andasigh;andifIwerefurthertoabusethetrustyouplaceinme——\"

  \"Butyouneverwillabuseitatall,John,\"Iobserved。

  \"Never!\"saidhe;\"butIamputtingacase——Isay,andifIwerefurthertoabusethattrustbykeepingthispieceofourcommonaffairsinthedark,andthisotherpieceinthelight,andagainthisotherpieceinthetwilight,andsoon,Ishouldstrengthenmystrength,andweakenyourweakness,daybyday,untilatlastI

  foundmyselfonthehighroadtofortune,andyouleftbehindonsomebarecommon,ahopelessnumberofmilesoutoftheway。\"

  \"Exactlyso,\"saidI。

  \"Topreventthis,Michael,\"saidJohnSpatter,\"ortheremotestchanceofthis,theremustbeperfectopennessbetweenus。Nothingmustbeconcealed,andwemusthavebutoneinterest。\"

  \"MydearJohnSpatter,\"Iassuredhim,\"thatispreciselywhatI

  mean。\"

  \"Andwhenyouaretooeasy,\"pursuedJohn,hisfaceglowingwithfriendship,\"youmustallowmetopreventthatimperfectioninyournaturefrombeingtakenadvantageof,byanyone;youmustnotexpectmetohumourit——\"

  \"MydearJohnSpatter,\"Iinterrupted,\"IDON’Texpectyoutohumourit。Iwanttocorrectit。\"

  \"AndI,too,\"saidJohn。

  \"Exactlyso!\"criedI。\"Webothhavethesameendinview;and,honourablyseekingit,andfullytrustingoneanother,andhavingbutoneinterest,ourswillbeaprosperousandhappypartnership。\"

  \"Iamsureofit!\"returnedJohnSpatter。Andweshookhandsmostaffectionately。

  ItookJohnhometomyCastle,andwehadaveryhappyday。Ourpartnershipthrovewell。MyfriendandpartnersuppliedwhatI

  wanted,asIhadforeseenthathewould,andbyimprovingboththebusinessandmyself,amplyacknowledgedanylittleriseinlifetowhichIhadhelpedhim。

  Iamnot(saidthepoorrelation,lookingatthefireasheslowlyrubbedhishands)veryrich,forInevercaredtobethat;butI

  haveenough,andamaboveallmoderatewantsandanxieties。MyCastleisnotasplendidplace,butitisverycomfortable,andithasawarmandcheerfulair,andisquiteapictureofHome。

  Oureldestgirl,whoisverylikehermother,marriedJohnSpatter’seldestson。Ourtwofamiliesarecloselyunitedinothertiesofattachment。Itisverypleasantofanevening,whenweareallassembledtogether——whichfrequentlyhappens——andwhenJohnandI

  talkoveroldtimes,andtheoneinteresttherehasalwaysbeenbetweenus。

  Ireallydonotknow,inmyCastle,whatlonelinessis。Someofourchildrenorgrandchildrenarealwaysaboutit,andtheyoungvoicesofmydescendantsaredelightful——O,howdelightful!——tometohear。

  Mydearestandmostdevotedwife,everfaithful,everloving,everhelpfulandsustainingandconsoling,isthepricelessblessingofmyhouse;fromwhomallitsotherblessingsspring。Weareratheramusicalfamily,andwhenChristianaseesme,atanytime,alittlewearyordepressed,shestealstothepianoandsingsagentleairsheusedtosingwhenwewerefirstbetrothed。SoweakamanamI,thatIcannotbeartohearitfromanyothersource。Theyplayeditonce,attheTheatre,whenIwastherewithLittleFrank;andthechildsaidwondering,\"CousinMichael,whosehottearsarethesethathavefallenonmyhand!\"

  SuchismyCastle,andsucharetherealparticularsofmylifethereinpreserved。IoftentakeLittleFrankhomethere。Heisverywelcometomygrandchildren,andtheyplaytogether。Atthistimeoftheyear——theChristmasandNewYeartime——IamseldomoutofmyCastle。For,theassociationsoftheseasonseemtoholdmethere,andthepreceptsoftheseasonseemtoteachmethatitiswelltobethere。

  \"AndtheCastleis——\"observedagrave,kindvoiceamongthecompany。

  \"Yes。MyCastle,\"saidthepoorrelation,shakinghisheadashestilllookedatthefire,\"isintheAir。Johnouresteemedhostsuggestsitssituationaccurately。MyCastleisintheAir!Ihavedone。Willyoubesogoodastopassthestory?\"

  THECHILD’SSTORY

  Onceuponatime,agoodmanyyearsago,therewasatraveller,andhesetoutuponajourney。Itwasamagicjourney,andwastoseemverylongwhenhebeganit,andveryshortwhenhegothalfwaythrough。

  Hetravelledalongaratherdarkpathforsomelittletime,withoutmeetinganything,untilatlasthecametoabeautifulchild。Sohesaidtothechild,\"Whatdoyoudohere?\"Andthechildsaid,\"Iamalwaysatplay。Comeandplaywithme!\"

  So,heplayedwiththatchild,thewholedaylong,andtheywereverymerry。Theskywassoblue,thesunwassobright,thewaterwassosparkling,theleavesweresogreen,theflowersweresolovely,andtheyheardsuchsinging-birdsandsawsomanybutteries,thateverythingwasbeautiful。Thiswasinfineweather。Whenitrained,theylovedtowatchthefallingdrops,andtosmellthefreshscents。Whenitblew,itwasdelightfultolistentothewind,andfancywhatitsaid,asitcamerushingfromitshome——

  wherewasthat,theywondered!——whistlingandhowling,drivingthecloudsbeforeit,bendingthetrees,rumblinginthechimneys,shakingthehouse,andmakingthesearoarinfury。But,whenitsnowed,thatwasbestofall;for,theylikednothingsowellastolookupatthewhiteflakesfallingfastandthick,likedownfromthebreastsofmillionsofwhitebirds;andtoseehowsmoothanddeepthedriftwas;andtolistentothehushuponthepathsandroads。

  Theyhadplentyofthefinesttoysintheworld,andthemostastonishingpicture-books:allaboutscimitarsandslippersandturbans,anddwarfsandgiantsandgeniiandfairies,andblue-

  beardsandbean-stalksandrichesandcavernsandforestsandValentinesandOrsons:andallnewandalltrue。

  But,oneday,ofasudden,thetravellerlostthechild。Hecalledtohimoverandoveragain,butgotnoanswer。So,hewentuponhisroad,andwentonforalittlewhilewithoutmeetinganything,untilatlasthecametoahandsomeboy。So,hesaidtotheboy,\"Whatdoyoudohere?\"Andtheboysaid,\"Iamalwayslearning。Comeandlearnwithme。\"

  SohelearnedwiththatboyaboutJupiterandJuno,andtheGreeksandtheRomans,andIdon’tknowwhat,andlearnedmorethanIcouldtell——orheeither,forhesoonforgotagreatdealofit。But,theywerenotalwayslearning;theyhadthemerriestgamesthateverwereplayed。Theyrowedupontheriverinsummer,andskatedontheiceinwinter;theywereactiveafoot,andactiveonhorseback;atcricket,andallgamesatball;atprisoner’sbase,hareandhounds,followmyleader,andmoresportsthanIcanthinkof;nobodycouldbeatthem。Theyhadholidaystoo,andTwelfthcakes,andpartieswheretheydancedtillmidnight,andrealTheatreswheretheysawpalacesofrealgoldandsilverriseoutoftherealearth,andsawallthewondersoftheworldatonce。Astofriends,theyhadsuchdearfriendsandsomanyofthem,thatIwantthetimetoreckonthemup。Theywereallyoung,likethehandsomeboy,andwerenevertobestrangetooneanotheralltheirlivesthrough。

  Still,oneday,inthemidstofallthesepleasures,thetravellerlosttheboyashehadlostthechild,and,aftercallingtohiminvain,wentonuponhisjourney。Sohewentonforalittlewhilewithoutseeinganything,untilatlasthecametoayoungman。So,hesaidtotheyoungman,\"Whatdoyoudohere?\"Andtheyoungmansaid,\"Iamalwaysinlove。Comeandlovewithme。\"

  So,hewentawaywiththatyoungman,andpresentlytheycametooneoftheprettiestgirlsthateverwasseen——justlikeFannyinthecornerthere——andshehadeyeslikeFanny,andhairlikeFanny,anddimpleslikeFanny’s,andshelaughedandcolouredjustasFannydoeswhileIamtalkingabouther。So,theyoungmanfellinlovedirectly——justasSomebodyIwon’tmention,thefirsttimehecamehere,didwithFanny。Well!hewasteasedsometimes——justasSomebodyusedtobebyFanny;andtheyquarrelledsometimes——justasSomebodyandFannyusedtoquarrel;andtheymadeitup,andsatinthedark,andwroteletterseveryday,andneverwerehappyasunder,andwerealwayslookingoutforoneanotherandpretendingnotto,andwereengagedatChristmas-time,andsatclosetooneanotherbythefire,andweregoingtobemarriedverysoon——allexactlylikeSomebodyIwon’tmention,andFanny!

  But,thetravellerlostthemoneday,ashehadlosttherestofhisfriends,and,aftercallingtothemtocomeback,whichtheyneverdid,wentonuponhisjourney。So,hewentonforalittlewhilewithoutseeinganything,untilatlasthecametoamiddle-agedgentleman。So,hesaidtothegentleman,\"Whatareyoudoinghere?\"

  Andhisanswerwas,\"Iamalwaysbusy。Comeandbebusywithme!\"

  So,hebegantobeverybusywiththatgentleman,andtheywentonthroughthewoodtogether。Thewholejourneywasthroughawood,onlyithadbeenopenandgreenatfirst,likeawoodinspring;andnowbegantobethickanddark,likeawoodinsummer;someofthelittletreesthathadcomeoutearliest,wereeventurningbrown。

  Thegentlemanwasnotalone,buthadaladyofaboutthesameagewithhim,whowashisWife;andtheyhadchildren,whowerewiththemtoo。So,theyallwentontogetherthroughthewood,cuttingdownthetrees,andmakingapaththroughthebranchesandthefallenleaves,andcarryingburdens,andworkinghard。

  Sometimes,theycametoalonggreenavenuethatopenedintodeeperwoods。Thentheywouldhearaverylittle,distantvoicecrying,\"Father,father,Iamanotherchild!Stopforme!\"Andpresentlytheywouldseeaverylittlefigure,growinglargerasitcamealong,runningtojointhem。Whenitcameup,theyallcrowdedroundit,andkissedandwelcomedit;andthentheyallwentontogether。

  Sometimes,theycametoseveralavenuesatonce,andthentheyallstoodstill,andoneofthechildrensaid,\"Father,Iamgoingtosea,\"andanothersaid,\"Father,IamgoingtoIndia,\"andanother,\"Father,IamgoingtoseekmyfortunewhereIcan,\"andanother,\"Father,IamgoingtoHeaven!\"So,withmanytearsatparting,theywent,solitary,downthoseavenues,eachchilduponitsway;

  andthechildwhowenttoHeaven,roseintothegoldenairandvanished。

  Wheneverthesepartingshappened,thetravellerlookedatthegentleman,andsawhimglanceupattheskyabovethetrees,wherethedaywasbeginningtodecline,andthesunsettocomeon。Hesaw,too,thathishairwasturninggrey。But,theynevercouldrestlong,fortheyhadtheirjourneytoperform,anditwasnecessaryforthemtobealwaysbusy。

  Atlast,therehadbeensomanypartingsthattherewerenochildrenleft,andonlythetraveller,thegentleman,andthelady,wentupontheirwayincompany。Andnowthewoodwasyellow;andnowbrown;

  andtheleaves,evenoftheforesttrees,begantofall。

  So,theycametoanavenuethatwasdarkerthantherest,andwerepressingforwardontheirjourneywithoutlookingdownitwhentheladystopped。

  \"Myhusband,\"saidthelady。\"Iamcalled。\"

  Theylistened,andtheyheardavoicealongwaydowntheavenue,say,\"Mother,mother!\"

  Itwasthevoiceofthefirstchildwhohadsaid,\"IamgoingtoHeaven!\"andthefathersaid,\"Ipraynotyet。Thesunsetisverynear。Ipraynotyet!\"

  But,thevoicecried,\"Mother,mother!\"withoutmindinghim,thoughhishairwasnowquitewhite,andtearswereonhisface。

  Then,themother,whowasalreadydrawnintotheshadeofthedarkavenueandmovingawaywithherarmsstillroundhisneck,kissedhim,andsaid,\"Mydearest,Iamsummoned,andIgo!\"Andshewasgone。Andthetravellerandhewereleftalonetogether。

  Andtheywentonandontogether,untiltheycametoveryneartheendofthewood:sonear,thattheycouldseethesunsetshiningredbeforethemthroughthetrees。

  Yet,oncemore,whilehebrokehiswayamongthebranches,thetravellerlosthisfriend。Hecalledandcalled,buttherewasnoreply,andwhenhepassedoutofthewood,andsawthepeacefulsungoingdownuponawidepurpleprospect,hecametoanoldmansittingonafallentree。So,hesaidtotheoldman,\"Whatdoyoudohere?\"Andtheoldmansaidwithacalmsmile,\"Iamalwaysremembering。Comeandrememberwithme!\"

  Sothetravellersatdownbythesideofthatoldman,facetofacewiththeserenesunset;andallhisfriendscamesoftlybackandstoodaroundhim。Thebeautifulchild,thehandsomeboy,theyoungmaninlove,thefather,mother,andchildren:everyoneofthemwasthere,andhehadlostnothing。So,helovedthemall,andwaskindandforbearingwiththemall,andwasalwayspleasedtowatchthemall,andtheyallhonouredandlovedhim。AndIthinkthetravellermustbeyourself,dearGrandfather,becausethiswhatyoudotous,andwhatwedotoyou。

  THESCHOOLBOY’SSTORY

  Beingratheryoungatpresent——Iamgettingoninyears,butstillI

  amratheryoung——Ihavenoparticularadventuresofmyowntofallbackupon。Itwouldn’tmuchinterestanybodyhere,Isuppose,toknowwhatascrewtheReverendis,orwhatagriffinSHEis,orhowtheydostickitintoparents——particularlyhair-cutting,andmedicalattendance。Oneofourfellowswaschargedinhishalf’saccounttwelveandsixpencefortwopills——tolerablyprofitableatsixandthreepencea-piece,Ishouldthink——andhenevertookthemeither,butputthemupthesleeveofhisjacket。

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