ExeuntACTIVSCENEI。Theforest。EnterROSALIND，CELIA，andJAQUESJAQUESIprithee，prettyyouth，letmebebetteracquaintedwiththee。ROSALINDTheysayyouareamelancholyfellow。JAQUESIamso；Idoloveitbetterthanlaughing。ROSALINDThosethatareinextremityofeitherareabominablefellowsandbetraythemselvestoeverymoderncensureworsethandrunkards。JAQUESWhy，’tisgoodtobesadandsaynothing。ROSALINDWhythen，’tisgoodtobeapost。JAQUESIhaveneitherthescholar’smelancholy，whichisemulation，northemusician’s，whichisfantastical，northecourtier’s，whichisproud，northesoldier’s，whichisambitious，northelawyer’s，whichispolitic，northelady’s，whichisnice，northelover’s，whichisallthese：butitisamelancholyofmineown，compoundedofmanysimples，extractedfrommanyobjects，andindeedthesundry’scontemplationofmytravels，inwhichmyoftenruminationwrapsmemamosthumoroussadness。ROSALINDAtraveller！Bymyfaith，youhavegreatreasontobesad：Ifearyouhavesoldyourownlandstoseeothermen’s；then，tohaveseenmuchandtohavenothing，istohavericheyesandpoorhands。JAQUESYes，Ihavegainedmyexperience。ROSALINDAndyourexperiencemakesyousad：Ihadratherhaveafooltomakememerrythanexperiencetomakemesad；andtotravelforittoo！
EnterORLANDOORLANDOGooddayandhappiness，dearRosalind！JAQUESNay，then，Godbewi’you，anyoutalkinblankverse。
ExitROSALINDFarewell，MonsieurTraveller：lookyoulispandwearstrangesuits，disableallthebenefitsofyourowncountry，beoutoflovewithyournativityandalmostchideGodformakingyouthatcountenanceyouare，orIwillscarcethinkyouhaveswaminagondola。Why，hownow，Orlando！wherehaveyoubeenallthiswhile？Youalover！Anyouservemesuchanothertrick，nevercomeinmysightmore。ORLANDOMyfairRosalind，Icomewithinanhourofmypromise。ROSALINDBreakanhour’spromiseinlove！Hethatwilldivideaminuteintoathousandpartsandbreakbutapartofthethousandthpartofaminuteintheaffairsoflove，itmaybesaidofhimthatCupidhathclappedhimo’theshoulder，butI’llwarranthimheart-whole。ORLANDOPardonme，dearRosalind。ROSALINDNay，anyoubesotardy，comenomoreinmysight：I
hadasliefbewooedofasnail。ORLANDOOfasnail？ROSALINDAy，ofasnail；forthoughhecomesslowly，hecarrieshishouseonhishead；abetterjointure，Ithink，thanyoumakeawoman：besideshebringshisdestinywithhim。ORLANDOWhat’sthat？ROSALINDWhy，horns，whichsuchasyouarefaintobebeholdingtoyourwivesfor：buthecomesarmedinhisfortuneandpreventstheslanderofhiswife。ORLANDOVirtueisnohorn-maker；andmyRosalindisvirtuous。ROSALINDAndIamyourRosalind。CELIAItpleaseshimtocallyouso；buthehathaRosalindofabetterleerthanyou。ROSALINDCome，woome，woome，fornowIaminaholidayhumourandlikeenoughtoconsent。Whatwouldyousaytomenow，anIwereyourveryveryRosalind？ORLANDOIwouldkissbeforeIspoke。ROSALINDNay，youwerebetterspeakfirst，andwhenyouweregravelledforlackofmatter，youmighttakeoccasiontokiss。Verygoodorators，whentheyareout，theywillspit；andforloverslacking——Godwarnus！——matter，thecleanliestshiftistokiss。ORLANDOHowifthekissbedenied？ROSALINDThensheputsyoutoentreaty，andtherebeginsnewmatter。ORLANDOWhocouldbeout，beingbeforehisbelovedmistress？ROSALINDMarry，thatshouldyou，ifIwereyourmistress，orIshouldthinkmyhonestyrankerthanmywit。ORLANDOWhat，ofmysuit？ROSALINDNotoutofyourapparel，andyetoutofyoursuit。
AmnotIyourRosalind？ORLANDOItakesomejoytosayyouare，becauseIwouldbetalkingofher。ROSALINDWellinherpersonIsayIwillnothaveyou。ORLANDOTheninmineownpersonIdie。ROSALINDNo，faith，diebyattorney。Thepoorworldisalmostsixthousandyearsold，andinallthistimetherewasnotanymandiedinhisownperson，videlicit，inalove-cause。TroilushadhisbrainsdashedoutwithaGrecianclub；yethedidwhathecouldtodiebefore，andheisoneofthepatternsoflove。Leander，hewouldhavelivedmanyafairyear，thoughHerohadturnednun，ifithadnotbeenforahotmidsummernight；for，goodyouth，hewentbutforthtowashhimintheHellespontandbeingtakenwiththecrampwasdrownedandthefoolishcoronersofthatagefounditwas’HeroofSestos。’
Butthesearealllies：menhavediedfromtimetotimeandwormshaveeatenthem，butnotforlove。ORLANDOIwouldnothavemyrightRosalindofthismind，for，Iprotest，herfrownmightkillme。ROSALINDBythishand，itwillnotkillafly。
Butcome，nowIwillbeyourRosalindinamorecoming-ondisposition，andaskmewhatyouwill。Iwillgrantit。ORLANDOThenloveme，Rosalind。ROSALINDYes，faith，willI，FridaysandSaturdaysandall。ORLANDOAndwiltthouhaveme？ROSALINDAy，andtwentysuch。ORLANDOWhatsayestthou？ROSALINDAreyounotgood？ORLANDOIhopeso。ROSALINDWhythen，canonedesiretoomuchofagoodthing？
Come，sister，youshallbethepriestandmarryus。
Givemeyourhand，Orlando。Whatdoyousay，sister？ORLANDOPraythee，marryus。CELIAIcannotsaythewords。ROSALINDYoumustbegin，’Willyou，Orlando——’CELIAGoto。Willyou，Orlando，havetowifethisRosalind？ORLANDOIwill。ROSALINDAy，butwhen？ORLANDOWhynow；asfastasshecanmarryus。ROSALINDThenyoumustsay’Itakethee，Rosalind，forwife。’ORLANDOItakethee，Rosalind，forwife。ROSALINDImightaskyouforyourcommission；
butIdotakethee，Orlando，formyhusband：there’sagirlgoesbeforethepriest；andcertainlyawoman’sthoughtrunsbeforeheractions。ORLANDOSodoallthoughts；theyarewinged。ROSALINDNowtellmehowlongyouwouldhaveherafteryouhavepossessedher。ORLANDOForeverandaday。ROSALINDSay’aday，’withoutthe’ever。’No，no，Orlando；
menareAprilwhentheywoo，Decemberwhentheywed：
maidsareMaywhentheyaremaids，buttheskychangeswhentheyarewives。IwillbemorejealousoftheethanaBarbarycock-pigeonoverhishen，moreclamorousthanaparrotagainstrain，morenew-fangledthananape，moregiddyinmydesiresthanamonkey：Iwillweepfornothing，likeDianainthefountain，andIwilldothatwhenyouaredisposedtobemerry；Iwilllaughlikeahyen，andthatwhenthouartinclinedtosleep。ORLANDOButwillmyRosalinddoso？ROSALINDBymylife，shewilldoasIdo。ORLANDOO，butsheiswise。ROSALINDOrelseshecouldnothavethewittodothis：thewiser，thewaywarder：makethedoorsuponawoman’switanditwilloutatthecasement；shutthatand’twilloutatthekey-hole；stopthat，’twillflywiththesmokeoutatthechimney。ORLANDOAmanthathadawifewithsuchawit，hemightsay’Wit，whitherwilt？’ROSALINDNay，youmightkeepthatchequeforittillyoumetyourwife’switgoingtoyourneighbour’sbed。ORLANDOAndwhatwitcouldwithavetoexcusethat？ROSALINDMarry，tosayshecametoseekyouthere。
Youshallnevertakeherwithoutheranswer，unlessyoutakeherwithouthertongue。O，thatwomanthatcannotmakeherfaultherhusband’soccasion，lethernevernurseherchildherself，forshewillbreeditlikeafool！ORLANDOForthesetwohours，Rosalind，Iwillleavethee。ROSALINDAlas！dearlove，Icannotlacktheetwohours。ORLANDOImustattendthedukeatdinner：bytwoo’clockI
willbewiththeeagain。ROSALINDAy，goyourways，goyourways；Iknewwhatyouwouldprove：myfriendstoldmeasmuch，andI
thoughtnoless：thatflatteringtongueofyourswonme：’tisbutonecastaway，andso，come，death！Twoo’clockisyourhour？ORLANDOAy，sweetRosalind。ROSALINDBymytroth，andingoodearnest，andsoGodmendme，andbyallprettyoathsthatarenotdangerous，ifyoubreakonejotofyourpromiseorcomeoneminutebehindyourhour，Iwillthinkyouthemostpatheticalbreak-promiseandthemosthollowloverandthemostunworthyofheryoucallRosalindthatmaybechosenoutofthegrossbandoftheunfaithful：thereforebewaremycensureandkeepyourpromise。ORLANDOWithnolessreligionthanifthouwertindeedmyRosalind：soadieu。ROSALINDWell，Timeistheoldjusticethatexaminesallsuchoffenders，andletTimetry：adieu。
ExitORLANDOCELIAYouhavesimplymisusedoursexinyourlove-prate：
wemusthaveyourdoubletandhosepluckedoveryourhead，andshowtheworldwhatthebirdhathdonetoherownnest。ROSALINDOcoz，coz，coz，myprettylittlecoz，thatthoudidstknowhowmanyfathomdeepIaminlove！
Butitcannotbesounded：myaffectionhathanunknownbottom，likethebayofPortugal。CELIAOrrather，bottomless，thatasfastasyoupouraffectionin，itrunsout。ROSALINDNo，thatsamewickedbastardofVenusthatwasbegotofthought，conceivedofspleenandbornofmadness，thatblindrascallyboythatabuseseveryone’seyesbecausehisownareout，lethimbejudgehowdeepI
aminlove。I’lltellthee，Aliena，IcannotbeoutofthesightofOrlando：I’llgofindashadowandsightillhecome。CELIAAndI’llsleep。
ExeuntSCENEII。Theforest。EnterJAQUES，Lords，andForestersJAQUESWhichishethatkilledthedeer？ALordSir，itwasI。JAQUESLet’spresenthimtotheduke，likeaRomanconqueror；anditwoulddowelltosetthedeer’shornsuponhishead，forabranchofvictory。Haveyounosong，forester，forthispurpose？ForesterYes，sir。JAQUESSingit：’tisnomatterhowitbeintune，soitmakenoiseenough。
SONG。ForesterWhatshallhehavethatkill’dthedeer？
Hisleatherskinandhornstowear。
Thensinghimhome；
TherestshallbearthisburdenTakethounoscorntowearthehorn；
Itwasacresterethouwastborn：
Thyfather’sfatherworeit，Andthyfatherboreit：
Thehorn，thehorn，thelustyhornIsnotathingtolaughtoscorn。
ExeuntSCENEIII。Theforest。EnterROSALINDandCELIAROSALINDHowsayyounow？Isitnotpasttwoo’clock？
andheremuchOrlando！CELIAIwarrantyou，withpureloveandtroubledbrain，hehathta’enhisbowandarrowsandisgoneforthtosleep。Look，whocomeshere。
EnterSILVIUSSILVIUSMyerrandistoyou，fairyouth；
MygentlePhebebidmegiveyouthis：
Iknownotthecontents；but，asIguessBythesternbrowandwaspishactionWhichshediduseasshewaswritingofit，Itbearsanangrytenor：pardonme：
Iambutasaguiltlessmessenger。ROSALINDPatienceherselfwouldstartleatthisletterAndplaytheswaggerer；bearthis，bearall：
ShesaysIamnotfair，thatIlackmanners；
Shecallsmeproud，andthatshecouldnotloveme，Weremanasrareasphoenix。’Od’smywill！
HerloveisnottheharethatIdohunt：
Whywritesshesotome？Well，shepherd，well，Thisisaletterofyourowndevice。SILVIUSNo，Iprotest，Iknownotthecontents：
Phebedidwriteit。ROSALINDCome，come，youareafoolAndturn’dintotheextremityoflove。
Isawherhand：shehasaleathernhand。
Afreestone-colour’dhand；IverilydidthinkThatheroldgloveswereon，but’twasherhands：
Shehasahuswife’shand；butthat’snomatter：
Isaysheneverdidinventthisletter；
Thisisaman’sinventionandhishand。SILVIUSSure，itishers。ROSALINDWhy，’tisaboisterousandacruelstyle。
Astylefor-challengers；why，shedefiesme，LikeTurktoChristian：women’sgentlebrainCouldnotdropforthsuchgiant-rudeinventionSuchEthiopewords，blackerintheireffectThanintheircountenance。Willyouheartheletter？SILVIUSSopleaseyou，forIneverheardityet；
YetheardtoomuchofPhebe’scruelty。ROSALINDShePhebesme：markhowthetyrantwrites。
ReadsArtthougodtoshepherdturn’d，Thatamaiden’shearthathburn’d？
Canawomanrailthus？SILVIUSCallyouthisrailing？ROSALIND[Reads]
Why，thygodheadlaidapart，Warr’stthouwithawoman’sheart？
Didyoueverhearsuchrailing？
Whilestheeyeofmandidwoome，Thatcoulddonovengeancetome。
Meaningmeabeast。
IfthescornofyourbrighteyneHavepowertoraisesuchloveinmine，Alack，inmewhatstrangeeffectWouldtheyworkinmildaspect！
Whilesyouchidme，Ididlove；
Howthenmightyourprayersmove！
HethatbringsthislovetotheeLittleknowsthisloveinme：
Andbyhimsealupthymind；
WhetherthatthyyouthandkindWillthefaithfuloffertakeOfmeandallthatIcanmake；
Orelsebyhimmylovedeny，AndthenI’llstudyhowtodie。SILVIUSCallyouthischiding？CELIAAlas，poorshepherd！ROSALINDDoyoupityhim？no，hedeservesnopity。
Wiltthoulovesuchawoman？What，tomaketheeaninstrumentandplayfalsestrainsuponthee！nottobeendured！Well，goyourwaytoher，forIseelovehathmadetheeatamesnake，andsaythistoher：thatifsheloveme，Ichargehertolovethee；ifshewillnot，Iwillneverhaveherunlessthouentreatforher。Ifyoubeatruelover，hence，andnotaword；forherecomesmorecompany。
ExitSILVIUS
EnterOLIVEROLIVERGoodmorrow，fairones：prayyou，ifyouknow，WhereinthepurlieusofthisforeststandsAsheep-cotefencedaboutwitholivetrees？CELIAWestofthisplace，downintheneighbourbottom：
TherankofosiersbythemurmuringstreamLeftonyourrighthandbringsyoutotheplace。
Butatthishourthehousedothkeepitself；
There’snonewithin。OLIVERIfthataneyemayprofitbyatongue，ThenshouldIknowyoubydescription；
Suchgarmentsandsuchyears：’Theboyisfair，Offemalefavour，andbestowshimselfLikearipesister：thewomanlowAndbrownerthanherbrother。’ArenotyouTheownerofthehouseIdidinquirefor？CELIAItisnoboast，beingask’d，tosayweare。OLIVEROrlandodothcommendhimtoyouboth，AndtothatyouthhecallshisRosalindHesendsthisbloodynapkin。Areyouhe？ROSALINDIam：whatmustweunderstandbythis？OLIVERSomeofmyshame；ifyouwillknowofmeWhatmanIam，andhow，andwhy，andwhereThishandkercherwasstain’d。CELIAIprayyou，tellit。OLIVERWhenlasttheyoungOrlandopartedfromyouHeleftapromisetoreturnagainWithinanhour，andpacingthroughtheforest，Chewingthefoodofsweetandbitterfancy，Lo，whatbefell！hethrewhiseyeaside，Andmarkwhatobjectdidpresentitself：
Underanoak，whoseboughsweremoss’dwithageAndhightopbaldwithdryantiquity，Awretchedraggedman，o’ergrownwithhair，Laysleepingonhisback：abouthisneckAgreenandgildedsnakehadwreatheditself，Whowithherheadnimbleinthreatsapproach’dTheopeningofhismouth；butsuddenly，SeeingOrlando，itunlink’ditself，AndwithindentedglidesdidslipawayIntoabush：underwhichbush’sshadeAlioness，withuddersalldrawndry，Laycouching，headonground，withcatlikewatch，Whenthatthesleepingmanshouldstir；for’tisTheroyaldispositionofthatbeastTopreyonnothingthatdothseemasdead：
Thisseen，OrlandodidapproachthemanAndfounditwashisbrother，hiselderbrother。CELIAO，Ihaveheardhimspeakofthatsamebrother；
AndhedidrenderhimthemostunnaturalThatlivedamongstmen。OLIVERAndwellhemightsodo，ForwellIknowhewasunnatural。ROSALINDBut，toOrlando：didheleavehimthere，Foodtothesuck’dandhungrylioness？OLIVERTwicedidheturnhisbackandpurposedso；
Butkindness，noblereverthanrevenge，Andnature，strongerthanhisjustoccasion，Madehimgivebattletothelioness，Whoquicklyfellbeforehim：inwhichhurtlingFrommiserableslumberIawaked。CELIAAreyouhisbrother？ROSALINDWastyouherescued？CELIAWas’tyouthatdidsooftcontrivetokillhim？OLIVER’TwasI；but’tisnotIIdonotshameTotellyouwhatIwas，sincemyconversionSosweetlytastes，beingthethingIam。ROSALINDBut，forthebloodynapkin？OLIVERByandby。
WhenfromthefirsttolastbetwixtustwoTearsourrecountmentshadmostkindlybathed，AshowIcameintothatdesertplace：——
Inbrief，heledmetothegentleduke，Whogavemefresharrayandentertainment，Committingmeuntomybrother’slove；
Wholedmeinstantlyuntohiscave，Therestripp’dhimself，andhereuponhisarmThelionesshadtornsomefleshaway，Whichallthiswhilehadbled；andnowhefaintedAndcried，infainting，uponRosalind。
Brief，Irecover’dhim，bounduphiswound；
And，aftersomesmallspace，beingstrongatheart，Hesentmehither，strangerasIam，Totellthisstory，thatyoumightexcuseHisbrokenpromise，andtogivethisnapkinDyedinhisblooduntotheshepherdyouthThatheinsportdothcallhisRosalind。
ROSALINDswoonsCELIAWhy，hownow，Ganymede！sweetGanymede！OLIVERManywillswoonwhentheydolookonblood。CELIAThereismoreinit。CousinGanymede！OLIVERLook，herecovers。ROSALINDIwouldIwereathome。CELIAWe’llleadyouthither。
Iprayyou，willyoutakehimbythearm？OLIVERBeofgoodcheer，youth：youaman！youlackaman’sheart。ROSALINDIdoso，Iconfessit。Ah，sirrah，abodywouldthinkthiswaswellcounterfeited！Iprayyou，tellyourbrotherhowwellIcounterfeited。Heigh-ho！OLIVERThiswasnotcounterfeit：thereistoogreattestimonyinyourcomplexionthatitwasapassionofearnest。ROSALINDCounterfeit，Iassureyou。OLIVERWellthen，takeagoodheartandcounterfeittobeaman。ROSALINDSoIdo：but，i’faith，Ishouldhavebeenawomanbyright。CELIACome，youlookpalerandpaler：prayyou，drawhomewards。Goodsir，gowithus。OLIVERThatwillI，forImustbearanswerbackHowyouexcusemybrother，Rosalind。ROSALINDIshalldevisesomething：but，Iprayyou，commendmycounterfeitingtohim。Willyougo？
ExeuntACTVSCENEI。Theforest。EnterTOUCHSTONEandAUDREYTOUCHSTONEWeshallfindatime，Audrey；patience，gentleAudrey。AUDREYFaith，thepriestwasgoodenough，foralltheoldgentleman’ssaying。TOUCHSTONEAmostwickedSirOliver，Audrey，amostvileMartext。But，Audrey，thereisayouthhereintheforestlaysclaimtoyou。AUDREYAy，Iknowwho’tis；hehathnointerestinmeintheworld：herecomesthemanyoumean。TOUCHSTONEItismeatanddrinktometoseeaclown：
bymytroth，wethathavegoodwitshavemuchtoanswerfor；weshallbeflouting；wecannothold。
EnterWILLIAMWILLIAMGoodeven，Audrey。AUDREYGodyegoodeven，William。WILLIAMAndgoodeventoyou，sir。TOUCHSTONEGoodeven，gentlefriend。Coverthyhead，coverthyhead；nay，prithee，becovered。Howoldareyou，friend？WILLIAMFiveandtwenty，sir。TOUCHSTONEAripeage。IsthynameWilliam？WILLIAMWilliam，sir。TOUCHSTONEAfairname。Wastborni’theforesthere？WILLIAMAy，sir，IthankGod。TOUCHSTONE’ThankGod；’agoodanswer。Artrich？WILLIAMFaith，sir，soso。TOUCHSTONE’Soso’isgood，verygood，veryexcellentgood；andyetitisnot；itisbutsoso。Artthouwise？WILLIAMAy，sir，Ihaveaprettywit。TOUCHSTONEWhy，thousayestwell。Idonowrememberasaying，’Thefooldoththinkheiswise，butthewisemanknowshimselftobeafool。’Theheathenphilosopher，whenhehadadesiretoeatagrape，wouldopenhislipswhenheputitintohismouth；
meaningtherebythatgrapesweremadetoeatandlipstoopen。Youdolovethismaid？WILLIAMIdo，sir。TOUCHSTONEGivemeyourhand。Artthoulearned？WILLIAMNo，sir。TOUCHSTONEThenlearnthisofme：tohave，istohave；foritisafigureinrhetoricthatdrink，beingpouredoutofacupintoaglass，byfillingtheonedothemptytheother；forallyourwritersdoconsentthatipseishe：now，youarenotipse，forIamhe。WILLIAMWhichhe，sir？TOUCHSTONEHe，sir，thatmustmarrythiswoman。Therefore，youclown，abandon，——whichisinthevulgarleave，——thesociety，——whichintheboorishiscompany，——ofthisfemale，——whichinthecommoniswoman；whichtogetheris，abandonthesocietyofthisfemale，or，clown，thouperishest；or，tothybetterunderstanding，diest；or，towitIkillthee，maketheeaway，translatethylifeintodeath，thylibertyintobondage：Iwilldealinpoisonwiththee，orinbastinado，orinsteel；Iwillbandywiththeeinfaction；Iwillo’erruntheewithpolicy；Iwillkilltheeahundredandfiftyways：
thereforetrembleanddepart。AUDREYDo，goodWilliam。WILLIAMGodrestyoumerry，sir。
ExitEnterCORINCORINOurmasterandmistressseeksyou；come，away，away！TOUCHSTONETrip，Audrey！trip，Audrey！Iattend，Iattend。
ExeuntSCENEII。Theforest。EnterORLANDOandOLIVERORLANDOIs’tpossiblethatonsolittleacquaintanceyoushouldlikeher？thatbutseeingyoushouldloveher？andlovingwoo？and，wooing，sheshouldgrant？andwillyoupersevertoenjoyher？OLIVERNeithercallthegiddinessofitinquestion，thepovertyofher，thesmallacquaintance，mysuddenwooing，norhersuddenconsenting；butsaywithme，IloveAliena；saywithherthatshelovesme；
consentwithboththatwemayenjoyeachother：
itshallbetoyourgood；formyfather’shouseandalltherevenuethatwasoldSirRowland’swillI
estateuponyou，andhereliveanddieashepherd。ORLANDOYouhavemyconsent。Letyourweddingbeto-morrow：
thitherwillIinvitethedukeandall’scontentedfollowers。GoyouandprepareAliena；forlookyou，herecomesmyRosalind。
EnterROSALINDROSALINDGodsaveyou，brother。OLIVERAndyou，fairsister。
ExitROSALINDO，mydearOrlando，howitgrievesmetoseetheewearthyheartinascarf！ORLANDOItismyarm。ROSALINDIthoughtthyhearthadbeenwoundedwiththeclawsofalion。ORLANDOWoundeditis，butwiththeeyesofalady。ROSALINDDidyourbrothertellyouhowIcounterfeitedtoswoonwhenheshowedmeyourhandkerchief？ORLANDOAy，andgreaterwondersthanthat。ROSALINDO，Iknowwhereyouare：nay，’tistrue：
therewasneveranythingsosuddenbutthefightoftworamsandCaesar’sthrasonicalbragof’Icame，saw，andovercame：’foryourbrotherandmysisternosoonermetbuttheylooked，nosoonerlookedbuttheyloved，nosoonerlovedbuttheysighed，nosoonersighedbuttheyaskedoneanotherthereason，nosoonerknewthereasonbuttheysoughttheremedy；
andinthesedegreeshavetheymadeapairofstairstomarriagewhichtheywillclimbincontinent，orelsebeincontinentbeforemarriage：theyareintheverywrathofloveandtheywilltogether；
clubscannotpartthem。ORLANDOTheyshallbemarriedto-morrow，andI
willbidtheduketothenuptial。But，O，howbitterathingitistolookintohappinessthroughanotherman’seyes！BysomuchthemoreshallIto-morrowbeattheheightofheart-heaviness，byhowmuchIshallthinkmybrotherhappyinhavingwhathewishesfor。ROSALINDWhythen，to-morrowIcannotserveyourturnforRosalind？ORLANDOIcanlivenolongerbythinking。ROSALINDIwillwearyyouthennolongerwithidletalking。
Knowofmethen，fornowIspeaktosomepurpose，thatIknowyouareagentlemanofgoodconceit：
I
speaknotthisthatyoushouldbearagoodopinionofmyknowledge，insomuchIsayIknowyouare；
neitherdoIlabourforagreateresteemthanmayinsomelittlemeasuredrawabelieffromyou，todoyourselfgoodandnottograceme。Believethen，ifyouplease，thatIcandostrangethings：Ihave，sinceIwasthreeyearold，conversedwithamagician，mostprofoundinhisartandyetnotdamnable。IfyoudoloveRosalindsoneartheheartasyourgesturecriesitout，whenyourbrothermarriesAliena，shallyoumarryher：Iknowintowhatstraitsoffortunesheisdriven；anditisnotimpossibletome，ifitappearnotinconvenienttoyou，tosetherbeforeyoureyestomorrowhumanassheisandwithoutanydanger。ORLANDOSpeakestthouinsobermeanings？ROSALINDBymylife，Ido；whichItenderdearly，thoughI
sayIamamagician。Therefore，putyouinyourbestarray：bidyourfriends；forifyouwillbemarriedto-morrow，youshall，andtoRosalind，ifyouwill。
EnterSILVIUSandPHEBE
Look，herecomesaloverofmineandaloverofhers。PHEBEYouth，youhavedonememuchungentleness，ToshowtheletterthatIwrittoyou。ROSALINDIcarenotifIhave：itismystudyToseemdespitefulandungentletoyou：
Youaretherefollowedbyafaithfulshepherd；
Lookuponhim，lovehim；heworshipsyou。PHEBEGoodshepherd，tellthisyouthwhat’tistolove。SILVIUSItistobeallmadeofsighsandtears；
AndsoamIforPhebe。PHEBEAndIforGanymede。ORLANDOAndIforRosalind。ROSALINDAndIfornowoman。SILVIUSItistobeallmadeoffaithandservice；
AndsoamIforPhebe。PHEBEAndIforGanymede。ORLANDOAndIforRosalind。ROSALINDAndIfornowoman。SILVIUSItistobeallmadeoffantasy，Allmadeofpassionandallmadeofwishes，Alladoration，duty，andobservance，Allhumbleness，allpatienceandimpatience，Allpurity，alltrial，allobservance；
AndsoamIforPhebe。PHEBEAndsoamIforGanymede。ORLANDOAndsoamIforRosalind。ROSALINDAndsoamIfornowoman。PHEBEIfthisbeso，whyblameyoumetoloveyou？SILVIUSIfthisbeso，whyblameyoumetoloveyou？ORLANDOIfthisbeso，whyblameyoumetoloveyou？ROSALINDWhodoyouspeakto，’Whyblameyoumetoloveyou？’ORLANDOToherthatisnothere，nordothnothear。ROSALINDPrayyou，nomoreofthis；’tislikethehowlingofIrishwolvesagainstthemoon。
ToSILVIUS
Iwillhelpyou，ifIcan：
ToPHEBE
Iwouldloveyou，ifIcould。To-morrowmeetmealltogether。
ToPHEBE
Iwillmarryyou，ifeverImarrywoman，andI’llbemarriedto-morrow：
ToORLANDO
Iwillsatisfyyou，ifeverIsatisfiedman，andyoushallbemarriedto-morrow：
ToSILVIUS
Iwillcontentyou，ifwhatpleasesyoucontentsyou，andyoushallbemarriedto-morrow。
ToORLANDO
AsyouloveRosalind，meet：
ToSILVIUS
asyoulovePhebe，meet：andasIlovenowoman，I’llmeet。Sofareyouwell：Ihaveleftyoucommands。SILVIUSI’llnotfail，ifIlive。PHEBENorI。ORLANDONorI。
ExeuntSCENEIII。Theforest。EnterTOUCHSTONEandAUDREYTOUCHSTONETo-morrowisthejoyfulday，Audrey；to-morrowwillwebemarried。AUDREYIdodesireitwithallmyheart；andI
hopeitisnodishonestdesiretodesiretobeawomanoftheworld。Herecomestwoofthebanishedduke’spages。
EntertwoPagesFirstPageWellmet，honestgentleman。TOUCHSTONEBymytroth，wellmet。Come，sit，sit，andasong。SecondPageWeareforyou：siti’themiddle。FirstPageShallweclapinto’troundly，withouthawkingorspittingorsayingwearehoarse，whicharetheonlyprologuestoabadvoice？SecondPageI’faith，i’faith；andbothinatune，liketwogipsiesonahorse。
SONG。
Itwasaloverandhislass，Withahey，andaho，andaheynonino，Thato’erthegreencorn-fielddidpassInthespringtime，theonlyprettyringtime，Whenbirdsdosing，heydingading，ding：
Sweetloverslovethespring。
Betweentheacresoftherye，Withahey，andaho，andaheynoninoTheseprettycountryfolkswouldlie，Inspringtime，&；c。
Thiscaroltheybeganthathour，Withahey，andaho，andaheynonino，HowthatalifewasbutaflowerInspringtime，&；c。
Andthereforetakethepresenttime，Withahey，andaho，andaheynonino；
ForloveiscrownedwiththeprimeInspringtime，&；c。TOUCHSTONETruly，younggentlemen，thoughtherewasnogreatmatterintheditty，yetthenotewasveryuntuneable。FirstPageYouaredeceived，sir：wekepttime，welostnotourtime。TOUCHSTONEBymytroth，yes；Icountitbuttimelosttohearsuchafoolishsong。Godbewi’you；andGodmendyourvoices！Come，Audrey。
ExeuntSCENEIV。Theforest。EnterDUKESENIOR，AMIENS，JAQUES，ORLANDO，OLIVER，andCELIADUKESENIORDostthoubelieve，Orlando，thattheboyCandoallthisthathehathpromised？ORLANDOIsometimesdobelieve，andsometimesdonot；
Asthosethatfeartheyhope，andknowtheyfear。
EnterROSALIND，SILVIUS，andPHEBEROSALINDPatienceoncemore，whilesourcompactisurged：
Yousay，ifIbringinyourRosalind，YouwillbestowheronOrlandohere？DUKESENIORThatwouldI，hadIkingdomstogivewithher。ROSALINDAndyousay，youwillhaveher，whenI
bringher？ORLANDOThatwouldI，wereIofallkingdomsking。ROSALINDYousay，you’llmarryme，ifIbewilling？PHEBEThatwillI，shouldIdiethehourafter。ROSALINDButifyoudorefusetomarryme，You’llgiveyourselftothismostfaithfulshepherd？PHEBESoisthebargain。ROSALINDYousay，thatyou’llhavePhebe，ifshewill？SILVIUSThoughtohaveheranddeathwerebothonething。ROSALINDIhavepromisedtomakeallthismattereven。
Keepyouyourword，Oduke，togiveyourdaughter；
Youyours，Orlando，toreceivehisdaughter：
Keepyourword，Phebe，thatyou’llmarryme，Orelserefusingme，towedthisshepherd：
Keepyourword，Silvius，thatyou’llmarryher。
Ifsherefuseme：andfromhenceIgo，Tomakethesedoubtsalleven。
ExeuntROSALINDandCELIADUKESENIORIdorememberinthisshepherdboySomelivelytouchesofmydaughter’sfavour。ORLANDOMylord，thefirsttimethatIeversawhimMethoughthewasabrothertoyourdaughter：
But，mygoodlord，thisboyisforest-born，Andhathbeentutor’dintherudimentsOfmanydesperatestudiesbyhisuncle，Whomhereportstobeagreatmagician，Obscuredinthecircleofthisforest。
EnterTOUCHSTONEandAUDREYJAQUESThereis，sure，anotherfloodtoward，andthesecouplesarecomingtotheark。Herecomesapairofverystrangebeasts，whichinalltonguesarecalledfools。TOUCHSTONESalutationandgreetingtoyouall！JAQUESGoodmylord，bidhimwelcome：thisisthemotley-mindedgentlemanthatIhavesooftenmetintheforest：hehathbeenacourtier，heswears。TOUCHSTONEIfanymandoubtthat，lethimputmetomypurgation。Ihavetrodameasure；Ihaveflatteredalady；Ihavebeenpoliticwithmyfriend，smoothwithmineenemy；Ihaveundonethreetailors；
Ihavehadfourquarrels，andliketohavefoughtone。JAQUESAndhowwasthatta’enup？TOUCHSTONEFaith，wemet，andfoundthequarrelwasupontheseventhcause。JAQUESHowseventhcause？Goodmylord，likethisfellow。DUKESENIORIlikehimverywell。TOUCHSTONEGod’ildyou，sir；Idesireyouofthelike。I
pressinhere，sir，amongsttherestofthecountrycopulatives，toswearandtoforswear：accordingasmarriagebindsandbloodbreaks：apoorvirgin，sir，anill-favouredthing，sir，butmineown；
apoorhumourofmine，sir，totakethatthatnomanelsewill：richhonestydwellslikeamiser，sir，inapoorhouse；asyourpearlinyourfouloyster。DUKESENIORBymyfaith，heisveryswiftandsententious。TOUCHSTONEAccordingtothefool’sbolt，sir，andsuchdulcetdiseases。JAQUESBut，fortheseventhcause；howdidyoufindthequarrelontheseventhcause？TOUCHSTONEUponalieseventimesremoved：——bearyourbodymoreseeming，Audrey：——asthus，sir。Ididdislikethecutofacertaincourtier’sbeard：hesentmeword，ifIsaidhisbeardwasnotcutwell，hewasintheminditwas：thisiscalledtheRetortCourteous。
IfIsenthimwordagain’itwasnotwellcut，’
hewouldsendmeword，hecutittopleasehimself：
thisiscalledtheQuipModest。Ifagain’itwasnotwellcut，’hedisabledmyjudgment：thisiscalledtheReplyChurlish。Ifagain’itwasnotwellcut，’hewouldanswer，Ispakenottrue：
thisiscalledtheReproofValiant。Ifagain’itwasnotwellcut，’hewouldsayIlied：thisiscalledtheCounter-chequeQuarrelsome：andsototheLieCircumstantialandtheLieDirect。JAQUESAndhowoftdidyousayhisbeardwasnotwellcut？TOUCHSTONEIdurstgonofurtherthantheLieCircumstantial，norhedurstnotgivemetheLieDirect；andsowemeasuredswordsandparted。JAQUESCanyounominateinordernowthedegreesofthelie？TOUCHSTONEOsir，wequarrelinprint，bythebook；
asyouhavebooksforgoodmanners：Iwillnameyouthedegrees。
Thefirst，theRetortCourteous；thesecond，theQuipModest；thethird，theReplyChurlish；thefourth，theReproofValiant；thefifth，theCounterchequeQuarrelsome；thesixth，theLiewithCircumstance；theseventh，theLieDirect。AlltheseyoumayavoidbuttheLieDirect；andyoumayavoidthattoo，withanIf。Iknewwhensevenjusticescouldnottakeupaquarrel，butwhenthepartiesweremetthemselves，oneofthemthoughtbutofanIf，as，’Ifyousaidso，thenIsaidso；’
andtheyshookhandsandsworebrothers。YourIfistheonlypeacemaker；muchvirtueinIf。JAQUESIsnotthisararefellow，mylord？he’sasgoodatanythingandyetafool。DUKESENIORHeuseshisfollylikeastalking-horseandunderthepresentationofthatheshootshiswit。
EnterHYMEN，ROSALIND，andCELIA
StillMusicHYMENThenistheremirthinheaven，WhenearthlythingsmadeevenAtonetogether。
Goodduke，receivethydaughterHymenfromheavenbroughther，Yea，broughtherhither，ThatthoumightstjoinherhandwithhisWhoseheartwithinhisbosomis。ROSALIND[ToDUKESENIOR]ToyouIgivemyself，forIamyours。
ToORLANDO
ToyouIgivemyself，forIamyours。DUKESENIORIftherebetruthinsight，youaremydaughter。ORLANDOIftherebetruthinsight，youaremyRosalind。PHEBEIfsightandshapebetrue，Whythen，myloveadieu！ROSALINDI’llhavenofather，ifyoubenothe：
I’llhavenohusband，ifyoubenothe：
Norne’erwedwoman，ifyoubenotshe。HYMENPeace，ho！Ibarconfusion：
’TisImustmakeconclusionOfthesemoststrangeevents：
Here’seightthatmusttakehandsTojoininHymen’sbands，Iftruthholdstruecontents。
Youandyounocrossshallpart：
YouandyouareheartinheartYoutohislovemustaccord，Orhaveawomantoyourlord：
Youandyouaresuretogether，Asthewintertofoulweather。
Whilesawedlock-hymnwesing，Feedyourselveswithquestioning；
Thatreasonwondermaydiminish，Howthuswemet，andthesethingsfinish。
SONG。
WeddingisgreatJuno’scrown：
Oblessedbondofboardandbed！
’TisHymenpeopleseverytown；
Highwedlockthenbehonoured：
Honour，highhonourandrenown，ToHymen，godofeverytown！DUKESENIOROmydearniece，welcomethouarttome！
Evendaughter，welcome，innolessdegree。PHEBEIwillnoteatmyword，nowthouartmine；
Thyfaithmyfancytotheedothcombine。
EnterJAQUESDEBOYSJAQUESDEBOYSLetmehaveaudienceforawordortwo：
IamthesecondsonofoldSirRowland，Thatbringthesetidingstothisfairassembly。
DukeFrederick，hearinghowthateverydayMenofgreatworthresortedtothisforest，Address’damightypower；whichwereonfoot，Inhisownconduct，purposelytotakeHisbrotherhereandputhimtothesword：
Andtotheskirtsofthiswildwoodhecame；
Wheremeetingwithanoldreligiousman，Aftersomequestionwithhim，wasconvertedBothfromhisenterpriseandfromtheworld，Hiscrownbequeathingtohisbanish’dbrother，AndalltheirlandsrestoredtothemagainThatwerewithhimexiled。Thistobetrue，Idoengagemylife。DUKESENIORWelcome，youngman；
Thouoffer’stfairlytothybrothers’wedding：
Toonehislandswithheld，andtotheotherAlanditselfatlarge，apotentdukedom。
First，inthisforest，letusdothoseendsThatherewerewellbegunandwellbegot：
Andafter，everyofthishappynumberThathaveenduredshrewddaysandnightswithusShallsharethegoodofourreturnedfortune，Accordingtothemeasureoftheirstates。
Meantime，forgetthisnew-fall’ndignityAndfallintoourrusticrevelry。
Play，music！Andyou，bridesandbridegroomsall，Withmeasureheap’dinjoy，tothemeasuresfall。JAQUESSir，byyourpatience。IfIheardyourightly，ThedukehathputonareligiouslifeAndthrownintoneglectthepompouscourt？JAQUESDEBOYSHehath。JAQUESTohimwillI：outoftheseconvertitesThereismuchmattertobeheardandlearn’d。
ToDUKESENIOR
YoutoyourformerhonourIbequeath；
Yourpatienceandyourvirtuewelldeservesit：
ToORLANDO
Youtoalovethatyourtruefaithdothmerit：
ToOLIVER
Youtoyourlandandloveandgreatallies：
ToSILVIUS
Youtoalongandwell-deservedbed：
ToTOUCHSTONE
Andyoutowrangling；forthylovingvoyageIsbutfortwomonthsvictuall’d。So，toyourpleasures：
Iamforotherthanfordancingmeasures。DUKESENIORStay，Jaques，stay。JAQUESToseenopastimeIwhatyouwouldhaveI’llstaytoknowatyourabandon’dcave。
ExitDUKESENIORProceed，proceed：wewillbegintheserites，Aswedotrustthey’llend，intruedelights。
AdanceEPILOGUEROSALINDItisnotthefashiontoseetheladytheepilogue；
butitisnomoreunhandsomethantoseethelordtheprologue。Ifitbetruethatgoodwineneedsnobush，’tistruethatagoodplayneedsnoepilogue；yettogoodwinetheydousegoodbushes，andgoodplaysprovethebetterbythehelpofgoodepilogues。WhatacaseamIinthen，thatamneitheragoodepiloguenorcannotinsinuatewithyouinthebehalfofagoodplay！Iamnotfurnishedlikeabeggar，thereforetobegwillnotbecomeme：mywayistoconjureyou；andI’llbeginwiththewomen。Ichargeyou，Owomen，fortheloveyoubeartomen，tolikeasmuchofthisplayaspleaseyou：andIchargeyou，Omen，fortheloveyoubeartowomen——asIperceivebyyoursimpering，noneofyouhatesthem——thatbetweenyouandthewomentheplaymayplease。IfIwereawomanI
wouldkissasmanyofyouashadbeardsthatpleasedme，complexionsthatlikedmeandbreathsthatI
defiednot：and，Iamsure，asmanyashavegoodbeardsorgoodfacesorsweetbreathswill，formykindoffer，whenImakecurtsy，bidmefarewell。