Andperhapshavetakenitunblushinglyeversince\"therainySunday，\"and\"thestatelyPantheon，\"and\"thebeatificdruggist\"of1804？Evenso。AndhowdoIfindmyhealthafterallthisopium-
eating？Inshort，howdoIdo？Why，prettywell，Ithankyou，reader;inthephraseofladiesinthestraw，\"aswellascanbeexpected。\"Infact，ifIdaredtosaytherealandsimpletruth，though，tosatisfythetheoriesofmedicalmen，IOUGHTtobeill，I
neverwasbetterinmylifethaninthespringof1812;andIhopesincerelythatthequantityofclaret，port，or\"particularMadeira，\"whichinallprobabilityyou，goodreader，havetaken，anddesigntotakeforeverytermofeightyearsduringyournaturallife，mayaslittledisorderyourhealthasminewasdisorderedbytheopiumIhadtakenforeightyears，between1804and1812。HenceyoumayseeagainthedangeroftakinganymedicaladvicefromAnastasius;indivinity，foraughtIknow，orlaw，hemaybeasafecounsellor;butnotinmedicine。No;itisfarbettertoconsultDr。Buchan，asIdid;forIneverforgotthatworthyman’sexcellentsuggestion，andIwas\"particularlycarefulnottotakeabovefive-
and-twentyouncesoflaudanum。\"TothismoderationandtemperateuseofthearticleImayascribeit，Isuppose，thatasyet，atleast（i。e。in1812），Iamignorantandunsuspiciousoftheavengingterrorswhichopiumhasinstoreforthosewhoabuseitslenity。Atthesametime，itmustnotbeforgottenthathithertoIhavebeenonlyadilettanteeaterofopium;eightyears’practiceeven，withasingleprecautionofallowingsufficientintervalsbetweeneveryindulgence，hasnotbeensufficienttomakeopiumnecessarytomeasanarticleofdailydiet。Butnowcomesadifferentera。Moveon，ifyouplease，reader，to1813。InthesummeroftheyearwehavejustquittedIhavesufferedmuchinbodilyhealthfromdistressofmindconnectedwithaverymelancholyevent。Thiseventbeingnowaysrelatedtothesubjectnowbeforeme，furtherthanthroughthebodilyillnesswhichitproduced，Ineednotmoreparticularlynotice。Whetherthisillnessof1812hadanyshareinthatof1813
Iknownot;butsoitwas，thatinthelatteryearIwasattackedbyamostappallingirritationofthestomach，inallrespectsthesameasthatwhichhadcausedmesomuchsufferinginyouth，andaccompaniedbyarevivalofalltheolddreams。Thisisthepointofmynarrativeonwhich，asrespectsmyownself-justification，thewholeofwhatfollowsmaybesaidtohinge。AndhereIfindmyselfinaperplexingdilemma。Either，ontheonehand，Imustexhaustthereader’spatiencebysuchadetailofmymalady，orofmystruggleswithit，asmightsufficetoestablishthefactofmyinabilitytowrestleanylongerwithirritationandconstantsuffering;or，ontheotherhand，bypassinglightlyoverthiscriticalpartofmystory，Imustforegothebenefitofastrongerimpressionleftonthemindofthereader，andmustlaymyselfopentothemisconstructionofhavingslipped，bytheeasyandgradualstepsofself-indulgingpersons，fromthefirsttothefinalstageofopium-eating（amisconstructiontowhichtherewillbealurkingpredispositioninmostreaders，frommypreviousacknowledgements）。
Thisisthedilemma，thefirsthornofwhichwouldbesufficienttotossandgoreanycolumnofpatientreaders，thoughdrawnupsixteendeepandconstantlyrelievedbyfreshmen;consequentlythatisnottobethoughtof。Itremains，then，thatIPOSTULALEsomuchasisnecessaryformypurpose。AndletmetakeasfullcreditforwhatI
postulateasifIhaddemonstratedit，goodreader，attheexpenseofyourpatienceandmyown。Benotsoungenerousastoletmesufferinyourgoodopinionthroughmyownforbearanceandregardforyourcomfort。No;believeallthatIaskofyou——viz。，thatI
couldresistnolonger;believeitliberallyandasanactofgrace，orelseinmereprudence;forifnot，theninthenexteditionofmyOpiumConfessions，revisedandenlarged，Iwillmakeyoubelieveandtremble;andaforced’ennuyer，bymeredintofpandiculationIwillterrifyallreadersofminefromeveragainquestioninganypostulatethatIshallthinkfittomake。
This，then，letmerepeat，Ipostulate——thatatthetimeIbegantotakeopiumdailyIcouldnothavedoneotherwise。Whether，indeed，afterwardsImightnothavesucceededinbreakingoffthehabit，evenwhenitseemedtomethatalleffortswouldbeunavailing，andwhethermanyoftheinnumerableeffortswhichIdidmakemightnothavebeencarriedmuchfurther，andmygradualreconquestsofgroundlostmightnothavebeenfollowedupmuchmoreenergetically——thesearequestionswhichImustdecline。PerhapsImightmakeoutacaseofpalliation;butshallIspeakingenuously？Iconfessit，asabesettinginfirmityofmine，thatIamtoomuchofanEudaemonist;I
hankertoomuchafterastateofhappiness，bothformyselfandothers;Icannotfacemisery，whethermyownornot，withaneyeofsufficientfirmness，andamlittlecapableofencounteringpresentpainforthesakeofanyreversionarybenefit。OnsomeothermattersIcanagreewiththegentlemeninthecottontrade{15}atManchesterinaffectingtheStoicphilosophy，butnotinthis。HereItakethelibertyofanEclecticphilosopher，andIlookoutforsomecourteousandconsideratesectthatwillcondescendmoretotheinfirmconditionofanopium-eater;thatare\"sweetmen，\"asChaucersays，\"togiveabsolution，\"andwillshowsomeconscienceinthepenancestheyinflict，andtheeffortsofabstinencetheyexactfrompoorsinnerslikemyself。AninhumanmoralistIcannomoreendureinmynervousstatethanopiumthathasnotbeenboiled。Atanyrate，hewhosummonsmetosendoutalargefreightofself-denialandmortificationuponanycruisingvoyageofmoralimprovement，mustmakeitcleartomyunderstandingthattheconcernisahopefulone。Atmytimeoflife（six-and-thirtyyearsofage）itcannotbesupposedthatIhavemuchenergytospare;infact，IfinditalllittleenoughfortheintellectuallaboursIhaveonmyhands，andthereforeletnomanexpecttofrightenmebyafewhardwordsintoembarkinganypartofitupondesperateadventuresofmorality。
Whetherdesperateornot，however，theissueofthestrugglein1813
waswhatIhavementioned，andfromthisdatethereaderistoconsidermeasaregularandconfirmedopium-eater，ofwhomtoaskwhetheronanyparticulardayhehadorhadnottakenopium，wouldbetoaskwhetherhislungshadperformedrespiration，ortheheartfulfilleditsfunctions。Youunderstandnow，reader，whatIam，andyouarebythistimeawarethatnooldgentleman\"withasnow-whitebeard\"willhaveanychanceofpersuadingmetosurrender\"thelittlegoldenreceptacleoftheperniciousdrug。\"No;Igivenoticetoall，whethermoralistsorsurgeons，thatwhateverbetheirpretensionsandskillintheirrespectivelinesofpractice，theymustnothopeforanycountenancefromme，iftheythinktobeginbyanysavagepropositionforaLentoraRamadanofabstinencefromopium。This，then，beingallfullyunderstoodbetweenus，weshallinfuturesailbeforethewind。Nowthen，reader，from1813，whereallthistimewehavebeensittingdownandloitering，riseup，ifyouplease，andwalkforwardaboutthreeyearsmore。Nowdrawupthecurtain，andyoushallseemeinanewcharacter。
Ifanyman，poororrich，weretosaythathewouldtelluswhathadbeenthehappiestdayinhislife，andthewhyandthewherefore，I
supposethatweshouldallcryout——Hearhim！Hearhim！AstothehappiestDAY，thatmustbeverydifficultforanywisemantoname，becauseanyeventthatcouldoccupysodistinguishedaplaceinaman’sretrospectofhislife，orbeentitledtohaveshedaspecialfelicityonanyoneday，oughttobeofsuchanenduringcharacterasthat（accidentsapart）itshouldhavecontinuedtoshedthesamefelicity，oronenotdistinguishablyless，onmanyyearstogether。
TothehappiestLUSTRUM，however，oreventothehappiestYEAR，itmaybeallowedtoanymantopointwithoutdiscountenancefromwisdom。Thisyear，inmycase，reader，wastheonewhichwehavenowreached;thoughitstood，Iconfess，asaparenthesisbetweenyearsofagloomiercharacter。Itwasayearofbrilliantwater（tospeakafterthemannerofjewellers），setasitwere，andinsulated，inthegloomandcloudymelancholyofopium。Strangeasitmaysound，Ihadalittlebeforethistimedescendedsuddenly，andwithoutanyconsiderableeffort，from320grainsofopium（i。e。
eight{16}thousanddropsoflaudanum）perday，tofortygrains，orone-eighthpart。Instantaneously，andasifbymagic，thecloudofprofoundestmelancholywhichresteduponmybrain，likesomeblackvapoursthatIhaveseenrollawayfromthesummitsofmountains，drewoffinoneday（[Greektext]）;passedoffwithitsmurkybannersassimultaneouslyasashipthathasbeenstranded，andisfloatedoffbyaspringtide-
Thatmovethaltogether，ifitmoveatall。
Now，then，Iwasagainhappy;Inowtookonly1000dropsoflaudanumperday;andwhatwasthat？Alatterspringhadcometocloseuptheseasonofyouth;mybrainperformeditsfunctionsashealthilyaseverbefore;IreadKantagain，andagainIunderstoodhim，orfanciedthatIdid。Againmyfeelingsofpleasureexpandedthemselvestoallaroundme;andifanymanfromOxfordorCambridge，orfromneither，hadbeenannouncedtomeinmyunpretendingcottage，Ishouldhavewelcomedhimwithassumptuousareceptionassopooramancouldoffer。Whateverelsewaswantingtoawiseman’shappiness，oflaudanumIwouldhavegivenhimasmuchashewished，andinagoldencup。And，bytheway，nowthatI
speakofgivinglaudanumaway，Irememberaboutthistimealittleincident，whichImentionbecause，triflingasitwas，thereaderwillsoonmeetitagaininmydreams，whichitinfluencedmorefearfullythancouldbeimagined。OnedayaMalayknockedatmydoor。WhatbusinessaMalaycouldhavetotransactamongstEnglishmountainsIcannotconjecture;butpossiblyhewasonhisroadtoaseaportaboutfortymilesdistant。
Theservantwhoopenedthedoortohimwasayounggirl，bornandbredamongstthemountains，whohadneverseenanAsiaticdressofanysort;histurbanthereforeconfoundedhernotalittle;andasitturnedoutthathisattainmentsinEnglishwereexactlyofthesameextentashersintheMalay，thereseemedtobeanimpassablegulffixedbetweenallcommunicationofideas，ifeitherpartyhadhappenedtopossessany。Inthisdilemma，thegirl，recollectingthereputedlearningofhermaster（anddoubtlessgivingmecreditforaknowledgeofallthelanguagesoftheearthbesidesperhapsafewofthelunarones），cameandgavemetounderstandthattherewasasortofdemonbelow，whomsheclearlyimaginedthatmyartcouldexorcisefromthehouse。Ididnotimmediatelygodown，butwhenIdid，thegroupwhichpresenteditself，arrangedasitwasbyaccident，thoughnotveryelaborate，tookholdofmyfancyandmyeyeinawaythatnoneofthestatuesqueattitudesexhibitedintheballetsattheOpera-house，thoughsoostentatiouslycomplex，hadeverdone。Inacottagekitchen，butpanelledonthewallwithdarkwoodthatfromageandrubbingresembledoak，andlookingmorelikearustichallofentrancethanakitchen，stoodtheMalay——histurbanandloosetrousersofdingywhiterelieveduponthedarkpanelling。Hehadplacedhimselfnearertothegirlthansheseemedtorelish，thoughhernativespiritofmountainintrepiditycontendedwiththefeelingofsimpleawewhichhercountenanceexpressedasshegazeduponthetiger-catbeforeher。AndamorestrikingpicturetherecouldnotbeimaginedthanthebeautifulEnglishfaceofthegirl，anditsexquisitefairness，togetherwithhererectandindependentattitude，contrastedwiththesallowandbiliousskinoftheMalay，enamelledorveneeredwithmahoganybymarineair，hissmall，fierce，restlesseyes，thinlips，slavishgesturesandadorations。Half-hiddenbytheferocious-lookingMalaywasalittlechildfromaneighbouringcottagewhohadcreptinafterhim，andwasnowintheactofrevertingitsheadandgazingupwardsattheturbanandthefieryeyesbeneathit，whilstwithonehandhecaughtatthedressoftheyoungwomanforprotection。MyknowledgeoftheOrientaltonguesisnotremarkablyextensive，beingindeedconfinedtotwowords——theArabicwordforbarleyandtheTurkishforopium（madjoon），whichIhavelearnedfromAnastasius;
andasIhadneitheraMalaydictionarynorevenAdelung’sMithridates，whichmighthavehelpedmetoafewwords，IaddressedhiminsomelinesfromtheIliad，consideringthat，ofsuchlanguagesasIpossessed，Greek，inpointoflongitude，camegeographicallynearesttoanOrientalone。Heworshippedmeinamostdevoutmanner，andrepliedinwhatIsupposewasMalay。InthiswayIsavedmyreputationwithmyneighbours，fortheMalayhadnomeansofbetrayingthesecret。Helaydownuponthefloorforaboutanhour，andthenpursuedhisjourney。OnhisdepartureI
presentedhimwithapieceofopium。Tohim，asanOrientalist，I
concludedthatopiummustbefamiliar;andtheexpressionofhisfaceconvincedmethatitwas。Nevertheless，IwasstruckwithsomelittleconsternationwhenIsawhimsuddenlyraisehishandtohismouth，and，tousetheschoolboyphrase，boltthewhole，dividedintothreepieces，atonemouthful。Thequantitywasenoughtokillthreedragoonsandtheirhorses，andIfeltsomealarmforthepoorcreature;butwhatcouldbedone？Ihadgivenhimtheopiumincompassionforhissolitarylife，onrecollectingthatifhehadtravelledonfootfromLondonitmustbenearlythreeweekssincehecouldhaveexchangedathoughtwithanyhumanbeing。Icouldnotthinkofviolatingthelawsofhospitalitybyhavinghimseizedanddrenchedwithanemetic，andthusfrighteninghimintoanotionthatweweregoingtosacrificehimtosomeEnglishidol。No：therewasclearlynohelpforit。Hetookhisleave，andforsomedaysIfeltanxious，butasIneverheardofanyMalaybeingfounddead，I
becameconvincedthathewasused{17}toopium;andthatImusthavedonehimtheserviceIdesignedbygivinghimonenightofrespitefromthepainsofwandering。
ThisincidentIhavedigressedtomention，becausethisMalay（partlyfromthepicturesqueexhibitionheassistedtoframe，partlyfromtheanxietyIconnectedwithhisimageforsomedays）fastenedafterwardsuponmydreams，andbroughtotherMalayswithhim，worsethanhimself，thatran\"a-muck\"{18}atme，andledmeintoaworldoftroubles。Buttoquitthisepisode，andtoreturntomyintercalaryyearofhappiness。Ihavesaidalready，thatonasubjectsoimportanttousallashappiness，weshouldlistenwithpleasuretoanyman’sexperienceorexperiments，eventhoughhewerebutaplough-boy，whocannotbesupposedtohaveploughedverydeepintosuchanintractablesoilasthatofhumanpainsandpleasures，ortohaveconductedhisresearchesuponanyveryenlightenedprinciples。ButIwhohavetakenhappinessbothinasolidandliquidshape，bothboiledandunboiled，bothEastIndiaandTurkey——
whohaveconductedmyexperimentsuponthisinterestingsubjectwithasortofgalvanicbattery，andhave，forthegeneralbenefitoftheworld，inoculatedmyself，asitwere，withthepoisonof8000dropsoflaudanumperday（justforthesamereasonasaFrenchsurgeoninoculatedhimselflatelywithcancer，anEnglishonetwentyyearsagowithplague，andathird，Iknownotofwhatnation，withhydrophobia），I（itwillbeadmitted）mustsurelyknowwhathappinessis，ifanybodydoes。AndthereforeIwillherelaydownananalysisofhappiness;andasthemostinterestingmodeofcommunicatingit，Iwillgiveit，notdidactically，butwrappedupandinvolvedinapictureofoneevening，asIspenteveryeveningduringtheintercalaryyearwhenlaudanum，thoughtakendaily，wastomenomorethantheelixirofpleasure。Thisdone，Ishallquitthesubjectofhappinessaltogether，andpasstoaverydifferentone——THEPAINSOFOPIUM。
Lettherebeacottagestandinginavalley，eighteenmilesfromanytown——nospaciousvalley，butabouttwomileslongbythree-quartersofamileinaveragewidth;thebenefitofwhichprovisionisthatallthefamilyresidentwithinitscircuitwillcompose，asitwere，onelargerhousehold，personallyfamiliartoyoureye，andmoreorlessinterestingtoyouraffections。Letthemountainsberealmountains，between3，000and4，000feethigh，andthecottagearealcottage，not（asawittyauthorhasit）\"acottagewithadoublecoach-house;\"letitbe，infact（forImustabidebytheactualscene），awhitecottage，emboweredwithfloweringshrubs，sochosenastounfoldasuccessionofflowersuponthewallsandclusteringroundthewindowsthroughallthemonthsofspring，summer，andautumn——beginning，infact，withMayroses，andendingwithjasmine。
Letit，however，NOTbespring，norsummer，norautumn，butwinterinhissternestshape。Thisisamostimportantpointinthescienceofhappiness。AndIamsurprisedtoseepeopleoverlookit，andthinkitmatterofcongratulationthatwinterisgoing，or，ifcoming，isnotlikelytobeasevereone。Onthecontrary，Iputupapetitionannuallyforasmuchsnow，hail，frost，orstorm，ofonekindorother，astheskiescanpossiblyaffordus。Surelyeverybodyisawareofthedivinepleasureswhichattendawinterfireside，candlesatfouro’clock，warmhearth-rugs，tea，afairtea-maker，shuttersclosed，curtainsflowinginampledraperiesonthefloor，whilstthewindandrainareragingaudiblywithout，Andatthedoorsandwindowsseemtocall，Asheav’nandearththeywouldtogethermell;
Yettheleastentrancefindtheynoneatall;
Whencesweetergrowsourrestsecureinmassyhall。
CastleofIndolence。
Alltheseareitemsinthedescriptionofawintereveningwhichmustsurelybefamiliartoeverybodyborninahighlatitude。Anditisevidentthatmostofthesedelicacies，likeice-cream，requireaverylowtemperatureoftheatmospheretoproducethem;theyarefruitswhichcannotberipenedwithoutweatherstormyorinclementinsomewayorother。Iamnot\"PARTICULAR，\"aspeoplesay，whetheritbesnow，orblackfrost，orwindsostrongthat（asMr。——says）
\"youmayleanyourbackagainstitlikeapost。\"Icanputupevenwithrain，provideditrainscatsanddogs;butsomethingofthesortImusthave，andifIhaveitnot，Ithinkmyselfinamannerill-used;forwhyamIcalledontopaysoheavilyforwinter，incoalsandcandles，andvariousprivationsthatwilloccureventogentlemen，ifIamnottohavethearticlegoodofitskind？No，aCanadianwinterformymoney，oraRussianone，whereeverymanisbutaco-proprietorwiththenorthwindinthefee-simpleofhisownears。Indeed，sogreatanepicureamIinthismatterthatIcannotrelishawinternightfullyifitbemuchpastSt。Thomas’sday，andhavedegeneratedintodisgustingtendenciestovernalappearances。
No，itmustbedividedbyathickwallofdarknightsfromallreturnoflightandsunshine。FromthelatterweeksofOctobertoChristmasEve，therefore，istheperiodduringwhichhappinessisinseason，which，inmyjudgment，enterstheroomwiththetea-tray;
fortea，thoughridiculedbythosewhoarenaturallyofcoarsenerves，orarebecomesofromwine-drinking，andarenotsusceptibleofinfluencefromsorefinedastimulant，willalwaysbethefavouritebeverageoftheintellectual;and，formypart，IwouldhavejoinedDr。JohnsoninabelluminternecinumagainstJonasHanway，oranyotherimpiousperson，whoshouldpresumetodisparageit。Buthere，tosavemyselfthetroubleoftoomuchverbaldescription，Iwillintroduceapainter，andgivehimdirectionsfortherestofthepicture。Paintersdonotlikewhitecottages，unlessagooddealweather-stained;butasthereadernowunderstandsthatitisawinternight，hisserviceswillnotberequiredexceptfortheinsideofthehouse。
Paintme，then，aroomseventeenfeetbytwelve，andnotmorethansevenandahalffeethigh。This，reader，issomewhatambitiouslystyledinmyfamilythedrawing-room;butbeingcontrived\"adoubledebttopay，\"itisalso，andmorejustly，termedthelibrary，forithappensthatbooksaretheonlyarticleofpropertyinwhichIamricherthanmyneighbours。OftheseIhaveaboutfivethousand，collectedgraduallysincemyeighteenthyear。Therefore，painter，putasmanyasyoucanintothisroom。Makeitpopulouswithbooks，and，furthermore，paintmeagoodfire，andfurnitureplainandmodest，befittingtheunpretendingcottageofascholar。Andnearthefirepaintmeatea-table，and（asitisclearthatnocreaturecancometoseeonesuchastormynight）placeonlytwocupsandsaucersonthetea-tray;and，ifyouknowhowtopaintsuchathingsymbolicallyorotherwise，paintmeaneternaltea-pot——eternalaparteanteandapartepost——forIusuallydrinkteafromeighto’clockatnighttofouro’clockinthemorning。Andasitisveryunpleasanttomaketeaortopouritoutforoneself，paintmealovelyyoungwomansittingatthetable。PaintherarmslikeAurora’sandhersmileslikeHebe’s。Butno，dearM。，noteveninjestletmeinsinuatethatthypowertoilluminatemycottagerestsuponatenuresoperishableasmerepersonalbeauty，orthatthewitchcraftofangelicsmileslieswithintheempireofanyearthlypencil。Passthen，mygoodpainter，tosomethingmorewithinitspower;andthenextarticlebroughtforwardshouldnaturallybemyself——apictureoftheOpium-eater，withhis\"littlegoldenreceptacleoftheperniciousdrug\"lyingbesidehimonthetable。
Astotheopium，IhavenoobjectiontoseeapictureofTHAT，thoughIwouldratherseetheoriginal。Youmaypaintitifyouchoose，butIappriseyouthatno\"little\"receptaclewould，evenin1816，answerMYpurpose，whowasatadistancefromthe\"statelyPantheon，\"andalldruggists（mortalorotherwise）。No，youmayaswellpainttherealreceptacle，whichwasnotofgold，butofglass，andasmuchlikeawine-decanteraspossible。Intothisyoumayputaquartofruby-colouredlaudanum;that，andabookofGermanMetaphysicsplacedbyitsside，willsufficientlyattestmybeingintheneighbourhood。Butastomyself——thereIdemur。Iadmitthat，naturally，Ioughttooccupytheforegroundofthepicture;thatbeingtheheroofthepiece，or（ifyouchoose）thecriminalatthebar，mybodyshouldbehadintocourt。Thisseemsreasonable;butwhyshouldIconfessonthispointtoapainter？orwhyconfessatall？Ifthepublic（intowhoseprivateearIamconfidentiallywhisperingmyconfessions，andnotintoanypainter’s）shouldchancetohaveframedsomeagreeablepictureforitselfoftheOpium-
eater’sexterior，shouldhaveascribedtohim，romanticallyanelegantpersonorahandsomeface，whyshouldIbarbarouslytearfromitsopleasingadelusion——pleasingbothtothepublicandtome？No;paintme，ifatall，accordingtoyourownfancy，andasapainter’sfancyshouldteemwithbeautifulcreations，Icannotfailinthatwaytobeagainer。Andnow，reader，wehaverunthroughallthetencategoriesofmyconditionasitstoodabout1816-17，uptothemiddleofwhichlatteryearIjudgemyselftohavebeenahappyman，andtheelementsofthathappinessIhaveendeavouredtoplacebeforeyouintheabovesketchoftheinteriorofascholar’slibrary，inacottageamongthemountains，onastormywinterevening。
Butnow，farewell——alongfarewell——tohappiness，winterorsummer！
Farewelltosmilesandlaughter！Farewelltopeaceofmind！
Farewelltohopeandtotranquildreams，andtotheblessedconsolationsofsleep。FormorethanthreeyearsandahalfIamsummonedawayfromthese。IamnowarrivedatanIliadofwoes，forIhavenowtorecordTHEPAINSOFOPIUM
AswhensomegreatpainterdipsHispencilinthegloomofearthquakeandeclipse。
SHELLEY’SRevoltofIslam。
Reader，whohavethusfaraccompaniedme，Imustrequestyourattentiontoabriefexplanatorynoteonthreepoints：
1。ForseveralreasonsIhavenotbeenabletocomposethenotesforthispartofmynarrativeintoanyregularandconnectedshape。
IgivethenotesdisjointedasIfindthem，orhavenowdrawnthemupfrommemory。Someofthempointtotheirowndate，someIhavedated，andsomeareundated。Wheneveritcouldanswermypurposetotransplantthemfromthenaturalorchronologicalorder，Ihavenotscrupledtodoso。SometimesIspeakinthepresent，sometimesinthepasttense。Fewofthenotes，perhaps，werewrittenexactlyattheperiodoftimetowhichtheyrelate;butthiscanlittleaffecttheiraccuracy，astheimpressionsweresuchthattheycanneverfadefrommymind。Muchhasbeenomitted。Icouldnot，withouteffort，constrainmyselftothetaskofeitherrecalling，orconstructingintoaregularnarrative，thewholeburthenofhorrorswhichliesuponmybrain。ThisfeelingpartlyIpleadinexcuse，andpartlythatIamnowinLondon，andamahelplesssortofperson，whocannotevenarrangehisownpaperswithoutassistance;
andIamseparatedfromthehandswhicharewonttoperformformetheofficesofanamanuensis。
2。YouwillthinkperhapsthatIamtooconfidentialandcommunicativeofmyownprivatehistory。Itmaybeso。Butmywayofwritingisrathertothinkaloud，andfollowmyownhumours，thanmuchtoconsiderwhoislisteningtome;andifIstoptoconsiderwhatispropertobesaidtothisorthatperson，Ishallsooncometodoubtwhetheranypartatallisproper。Thefactis，Iplacemyselfatadistanceoffifteenortwentyyearsaheadofthistime，andsupposemyselfwritingtothosewhowillbeinterestedaboutmehereafter;andwishingtohavesomerecordoftime，theentirehistoryofwhichnoonecanknowbutmyself，IdoitasfullyasI
amablewiththeeffortsIamnowcapableofmaking，becauseIknownotwhetherIcaneverfindtimetodoitagain。
3。Itwilloccurtoyouoftentoask，whydidInotreleasemyselffromthehorrorsofopiumbyleavingitoffordiminishingit？TothisImustanswerbriefly：itmightbesupposedthatIyieldedtothefascinationsofopiumtooeasily;itcannotbesupposedthatanymancanbecharmedbyitsterrors。Thereadermaybesure，therefore，thatImadeattemptsinnumerabletoreducethequantity。
Iadd，thatthosewhowitnessedtheagoniesofthoseattempts，andnotmyself，werethefirsttobegmetodesist。ButcouldnothaveIreduceditadropaday，or，byaddingwater，havebisectedortrisectedadrop？Athousanddropsbisectedwouldthushavetakennearlysixyearstoreduce，andthatwaywouldcertainlynothaveanswered。Butthisisacommonmistakeofthosewhoknownothingofopiumexperimentally;Iappealtothosewhodo，whetheritisnotalwaysfoundthatdowntoacertainpointitcanbereducedwitheaseandevenpleasure，butthatafterthatpointfurtherreductioncausesintensesuffering。Yes，saymanythoughtlesspersons，whoknownotwhattheyaretalkingof，youwillsufferalittlelowspiritsanddejectionforafewdays。Ianswer，no;thereisnothinglikelowspirits;onthecontrary，themereanimalspiritsareuncommonlyraised：thepulseisimproved：thehealthisbetter。Itisnottherethatthesufferinglies。Ithasnoresemblancetothesufferingscausedbyrenouncingwine。Itisastateofunutterableirritationofstomach（whichsurelyisnotmuchlikedejection），accompaniedbyintenseperspirations，andfeelingssuchasIshallnotattempttodescribewithoutmorespaceatmycommand。
Ishallnowenterinmediasres，andshallanticipate，fromatimewhenmyopiumpainsmightbesaidtobeattheiracme，anaccountoftheirpalsyingeffectsontheintellectualfaculties。
Mystudieshavenowbeenlonginterrupted。Icannotreadtomyselfwithanypleasure，hardlywithamoment’sendurance。YetIreadaloudsometimesforthepleasureofothers，becausereadingisanaccomplishmentofmine，and，intheslanguseoftheword\"accomplishment\"asasuperficialandornamentalattainment，almosttheonlyoneIpossess;andformerly，ifIhadanyvanityatallconnectedwithanyendowmentorattainmentofmine，itwaswiththis，forIhadobservedthatnoaccomplishmentwassorare。
Playersaretheworstreadersofall：——readsvilely;andMrs-，whoissocelebrated，canreadnothingwellbutdramaticcompositions：Miltonshecannotreadsufferably。Peopleingeneraleitherreadpoetrywithoutanypassionatall，orelseoverstepthemodestyofnature，andreadnotlikescholars。Oflate，ifIhavefeltmovedbyanythingithasbeenbythegrandlamentationsofSamsonAgonistes，orthegreatharmoniesoftheSatanicspeechesinParadiseRegained，whenreadaloudbymyself。Ayoungladysometimescomesanddrinksteawithus：atherrequestandM。’s，I
nowandthenreadW-’spoemstothem。（W。，by-the-byeistheonlypoetIevermetwhocouldreadhisownverses：oftenindeedhereadsadmirably。）
FornearlytwoyearsIbelievethatIreadnobook，butone;andI
oweittotheauthor，indischargeofagreatdebtofgratitude，tomentionwhatthatwas。ThesublimerandmorepassionatepoetsI
stillread，asIhavesaid，bysnatches，andoccasionally。Butmypropervocation，asIwellknow，wastheexerciseoftheanalyticunderstanding。Now，forthemostpartanalyticstudiesarecontinuous，andnottobepursuedbyfitsandstarts，orfragmentaryefforts。Mathematics，forinstance，intellectualphilosophy，&c，，wereallbecomeinsupportabletome;IshrunkfromthemwithasenseofpowerlessandinfantinefeeblenessthatgavemeananguishthegreaterfromrememberingthetimewhenIgrappledwiththemtomyownhourlydelight;andforthisfurtherreason，becauseIhaddevotedthelabourofmywholelife，andhaddedicatedmyintellect，blossomsandfruits，totheslowandelaboratetoilofconstructingonesinglework，towhichIhadpresumedtogivethetitleofanunfinishedworkofSpinosa’s——viz。，DeEmendationeHumaniIntellectus。Thiswasnowlyinglockedup，asbyfrost，likeanySpanishbridgeoraqueduct，begunupontoogreatascalefortheresourcesofthearchitect;andinsteadofrevivingmeasamonumentofwishesatleast，andaspirations，andalifeoflabourdedicatedtotheexaltationofhumannatureinthatwayinwhichGodhadbestfittedmetopromotesogreatanobject，itwaslikelytostandamemorialtomychildrenofhopesdefeated，ofbaffledefforts，ofmaterialsuselesslyaccumulated，offoundationslaidthatwerenevertosupportasuper-structure——ofthegriefandtheruinofthearchitect。InthisstateofimbecilityIhad，foramusement，turnedmyattentiontopoliticaleconomy;myunderstanding，whichformerlyhadbeenasactiveandrestlessasahyaena，couldnot，Isuppose（solongasIlivedatall）sinkintoutterlethargy;andpoliticaleconomyoffersthisadvantagetoapersoninmystate，thatthoughitiseminentlyanorganicscience（nopart，thatistosay，butwhatactsonthewholeasthewholeagainreactsoneachpart），yettheseveralpartsmaybedetachedandcontemplatedsingly。Greataswastheprostrationofmypowersatthistime，yetIcouldnotforgetmyknowledge;andmyunderstandinghadbeenfortoomanyyearsintimatewithseverethinkers，withlogic，andthegreatmastersofknowledge，nottobeawareoftheutterfeeblenessofthemainherdofmoderneconomists。Ihadbeenledin1811tolookintoloadsofbooksandpamphletsonmanybranchesofeconomy;and，atmydesire，M。sometimesreadtomechaptersfrommorerecentworks，orpartsofparliamentarydebates。Isawthattheseweregenerallytheverydregsandrinsingsofthehumanintellect;andthatanymanofsoundhead，andpractisedinwieldinglogicwithascholasticadroitness，mighttakeupthewholeacademyofmoderneconomists，andthrottlethembetweenheavenandearthwithhisfingerandthumb，orbraytheirfungus-headstopowderwithalady’sfan。Atlength，in1819，afriendinEdinburghsentmedownMr。Ricardo’sbook;andrecurringtomyownpropheticanticipationoftheadventofsomelegislatorforthisscience，Isaid，beforeIhadfinishedthefirstchapter，\"Thouarttheman！\"Wonderandcuriositywereemotionsthathadlongbeendeadinme。YetIwonderedoncemore：
IwonderedatmyselfthatIcouldonceagainbestimulatedtotheeffortofreading，andmuchmoreIwonderedatthebook。HadthisprofoundworkbeenreallywritteninEnglandduringthenineteenthcentury？Wasitpossible？Isupposedthinking{19}hadbeenextinctinEngland。CoulditbethatanEnglishman，andhenotinacademicbowers，butoppressedbymercantileandsenatorialcares，hadaccomplishedwhatalltheuniversitiesofEuropeandacenturyofthoughthadfailedeventoadvancebyonehair’sbreadth？Allotherwritershadbeencrushedandoverlaidbytheenormousweightoffactsanddocuments。Mr。Ricardohaddeducedapriorifromtheunderstandingitselflawswhichfirstgavearayoflightintotheunwieldychaosofmaterials，andhadconstructedwhathadbeenbutacollectionoftentativediscussionsintoascienceofregularproportions，nowfirststandingonaneternalbasis。
ThusdidonesingleworkofaprofoundunderstandingavailtogivemeapleasureandanactivitywhichIhadnotknownforyears。Itrousedmeeventowrite，oratleasttodictatewhatM。wroteforme。Itseemedtomethatsomeimportanttruthshadescapedeven\"theinevitableeye\"ofMr。Ricardo;andasthesewereforthemostpartofsuchanaturethatIcouldexpressorillustratethemmorebrieflyandelegantlybyalgebraicsymbolsthanintheusualclumsyandloiteringdictionofeconomists，thewholewouldnothavefilledapocket-book;andbeingsobrief，withM。formyamanuensis，evenatthistime，incapableasIwasofallgeneralexertion，IdrewupmyPROLEGOMENATOALLFUTURESYSTEMSOFPOLITICALECONOMY。Ihopeitwillnotbefoundredolentofopium;though，indeed，tomostpeoplethesubjectisasufficientopiate。
Thisexertion，however，wasbutatemporaryflash，asthesequelshowed;forIdesignedtopublishmywork。Arrangementsweremadeataprovincialpress，abouteighteenmilesdistant，forprintingit。Anadditionalcompositorwasretainedforsomedaysonthisaccount。Theworkwaseventwiceadvertised，andIwasinamannerpledgedtothefulfilmentofmyintention。ButIhadaprefacetowrite，andadedication，whichIwishedtomakeasplendidone，toMr。Ricardo。Ifoundmyselfquiteunabletoaccomplishallthis。
Thearrangementswerecountermanded，thecompositordismissed，andmy\"Prolegomena\"restedpeacefullybythesideofitselderandmoredignifiedbrother。
IhavethusdescribedandillustratedmyintellectualtorporintermsthatapplymoreorlesstoeverypartofthefouryearsduringwhichIwasundertheCirceanspellsofopium。Butformiseryandsuffering，Imightindeedbesaidtohaveexistedinadormantstate。Iseldomcouldprevailonmyselftowritealetter;ananswerofafewwordstoanythatIreceivedwastheutmostthatI
couldaccomplish，andoftenTHATnotuntiltheletterhadlainweeksorevenmonthsonmywriting-table。WithouttheaidofM。allrecordsofbillspaidorTOBEpaidmusthaveperished，andmywholedomesticeconomy，whateverbecameofPoliticalEconomy，musthavegoneintoirretrievableconfusion。Ishallnotafterwardsalludetothispartofthecase。Itisone，however，whichtheopium-eaterwillfind，intheend，asoppressiveandtormentingasanyother，fromthesenseofincapacityandfeebleness，fromthedirectembarrassmentsincidenttotheneglectorprocrastinationofeachday’sappropriateduties，andfromtheremorsewhichmustoftenexasperatethestingsoftheseevilstoareflectiveandconscientiousmind。Theopium-eaterlosesnoneofhismoralsensibilitiesoraspirations。Hewishesandlongsasearnestlyasevertorealizewhathebelievespossible，andfeelstobeexactedbyduty;buthisintellectualapprehensionofwhatispossibleinfinitelyoutrunshispower，notofexecutiononly，butevenofpowertoattempt。Heliesundertheweightofincubusandnightmare;heliesinsightofallthathewouldfainperform，justasamanforciblyconfinedtohisbedbythemortallanguorofarelaxingdisease，whoiscompelledtowitnessinjuryoroutrageofferedtosomeobjectofhistenderestlove：hecursesthespellswhichchainhimdownfrommotion;hewouldlaydownhislifeifhemightbutgetupandwalk;butheispowerlessasaninfant，andcannotevenattempttorise。
Inowpasstowhatisthemainsubjectoftheselatterconfessions，tothehistoryandjournalofwhattookplaceinmydreams，fortheseweretheimmediateandproximatecauseofmyacutestsuffering。
ThefirstnoticeIhadofanyimportantchangegoingoninthispartofmyphysicaleconomywasfromthereawakeningofastateofeyegenerallyincidenttochildhood，orexaltedstatesofirritability。
Iknownotwhethermyreaderisawarethatmanychildren，perhapsmost，haveapowerofpainting，asitwereuponthedarkness，allsortsofphantoms。Insomethatpowerissimplyamechanicalaffectionoftheeye;othershaveavoluntaryorsemi-voluntarypowertodismissortosummonthem;or，asachildoncesaidtomewhenIquestionedhimonthismatter，\"Icantellthemtogo，andtheygo-，butsometimestheycomewhenIdon’ttellthemtocome。\"
WhereuponItoldhimthathehadalmostasunlimitedacommandoverapparitionsasaRomancenturionoverhissoldiers。——Inthemiddleof1817，Ithinkitwas，thatthisfacultybecamepositivelydistressingtome：atnight，whenIlayawakeinbed，vastprocessionspassedalonginmournfulpomp;friezesofnever-endingstories，thattomyfeelingswereassadandsolemnasiftheywerestoriesdrawnfromtimesbeforeOEdipusorPriam，beforeTyre，beforeMemphis。Andatthesametimeacorrespondingchangetookplaceinmydreams;atheatreseemedsuddenlyopenedandlightedupwithinmybrain，whichpresentednightlyspectaclesofmorethanearthlysplendour。Andthefourfollowingfactsmaybementionedasnoticeableatthistime：
1。Thatasthecreativestateoftheeyeincreased，asympathyseemedtoarisebetweenthewakingandthedreamingstatesofthebraininonepoint——thatwhatsoeverIhappenedtocallupandtotracebyavoluntaryactuponthedarknesswasveryapttotransferitselftomydreams，sothatIfearedtoexercisethisfaculty;for，asMidasturnedallthingstogoldthatyetbaffledhishopesanddefraudedhishumandesires，sowhatsoeverthingscapableofbeingvisuallyrepresentedIdidbutthinkofinthedarkness，immediatelyshapedthemselvesintophantomsoftheeye;andbyaprocessapparentlynolessinevitable，whenthusoncetracedinfaintandvisionarycolours，likewritingsinsympatheticink，theyweredrawnoutbythefiercechemistryofmydreamsintoinsufferablesplendourthatfrettedmyheart。
2。Forthisandallotherchangesinmydreamswereaccompaniedbydeep-seatedanxietyandgloomymelancholy，suchasarewhollyincommunicablebywords。Iseemedeverynighttodescend，notmetaphorically，butliterallytodescend，intochasmsandsunlessabysses，depthsbelowdepths，fromwhichitseemedhopelessthatI
couldeverreascend。NordidI，bywaking，feelthatIHAD
reascended。ThisIdonotdwellupon;becausethestateofgloomwhichattendedthesegorgeousspectacles，amountingatlasttoutterdarkness，asofsomesuicidaldespondency，cannotbeapproachedbywords。
3。Thesenseofspace，andintheendthesenseoftime，werebothpowerfullyaffected。Buildings，landscapes，&c。，wereexhibitedinproportionssovastasthebodilyeyeisnotfittedtoreceive。
Spaceswelled，andwasamplifiedtoanextentofunutterableinfinity。This，however，didnotdisturbmesomuchasthevastexpansionoftime;Isometimesseemedtohavelivedfor70or100
yearsinonenight——nay，sometimeshadfeelingsrepresentativeofamillenniumpassedinthattime，or，however，ofadurationfarbeyondthelimitsofanyhumanexperience。
4。Theminutestincidentsofchildhood，orforgottenscenesoflateryears，wereoftenrevived：Icouldnotbesaidtorecollectthem，forifIhadbeentoldofthemwhenwaking，Ishouldnothavebeenabletoacknowledgethemaspartsofmypastexperience。Butplacedastheywerebeforeme，indreamslikeintuitions，andclothedinalltheirevanescentcircumstancesandaccompanyingfeelings，IRECOGNISEDtheminstantaneously。Iwasoncetoldbyanearrelativeofmine，thathavinginherchildhoodfallenintoariver，andbeingontheveryvergeofdeathbutforthecriticalassistancewhichreachedher，shesawinamomentherwholelife，initsminutestincidents，arrayedbeforehersimultaneouslyasinamirror;andshehadafacultydevelopedassuddenlyforcomprehendingthewholeandeverypart。This，fromsomeopiumexperiencesofmine，Icanbelieve;Ihaveindeedseenthesamethingassertedtwiceinmodernbooks，andaccompaniedbyaremarkwhichIamconvincedistrue;viz。，thatthedreadbookofaccountwhichtheScripturesspeakofisinfacttheminditselfofeachindividual。OfthisatleastIfeelassured，thatthereisnosuchthingasFORGETTINGpossibletothemind;athousandaccidentsmayandwillinterposeaveilbetweenourpresentconsciousnessandthesecretinscriptionsonthemind;accidentsofthesamesortwillalsorendawaythisveil;butalike，whetherveiledorunveiled，theinscriptionremainsforever，justasthestarsseemtowithdrawbeforethecommonlightofday，whereasinfactweallknowthatitisthelightwhichisdrawnoverthemasaveil，andthattheyarewaitingtoberevealedwhentheobscuringdaylightshallhavewithdrawn。
Havingnoticedthesefourfactsasmemorablydistinguishingmydreamsfromthoseofhealth，Ishallnowciteacaseillustrativeofthefirstfact，andshallthenciteanyothersthatIremember，eitherintheirchronologicalorder，oranyotherthatmaygivethemmoreeffectaspicturestothereader。
Ihadbeeninyouth，andevensince，foroccasionalamusement，agreatreaderofLivy，whomIconfessthatIprefer，bothforstyleandmatter，toanyotheroftheRomanhistorians;andIhadoftenfeltasmostsolemnandappallingsounds，andmostemphaticallyrepresentativeofthemajestyoftheRomanpeople，thetwowordssooftenoccurringinLivy——ConsulRomanus，especiallywhentheconsulisintroducedinhismilitarycharacter。Imeantosaythatthewordsking，sultan，regent，&c。，oranyothertitlesofthosewhoembodyintheirownpersonsthecollectivemajestyofagreatpeople，hadlesspowerovermyreverentialfeelings。Ihadalso，thoughnogreatreaderofhistory，mademyselfminutelyandcriticallyfamiliarwithoneperiodofEnglishhistory，viz。，theperiodoftheParliamentaryWar，havingbeenattractedbythemoralgrandeurofsomewhofiguredinthatday，andbythemanyinterestingmemoirswhichsurvivethoseunquiettimes。Boththesepartsofmylighterreading，havingfurnishedmeoftenwithmatterofreflection，nowfurnishedmewithmatterformydreams。OftenI
usedtosee，afterpaintingupontheblankdarknessasortofrehearsalwhilstwaking，acrowdofladies，andperhapsafestivalanddances。AndIhearditsaid，orIsaidtomyself，\"TheseareEnglishladiesfromtheunhappytimesofCharlesI。Thesearethewivesandthedaughtersofthosewhometinpeace，andsateatthesametable，andwerealliedbymarriageorbyblood;andyet，afteracertaindayinAugust1642，neversmileduponeachotheragain，normetbutinthefieldofbattle;andatMarstonMoor，atNewbury，oratNaseby，cutasunderalltiesoflovebythecruelsabre，andwashedawayinbloodthememoryofancientfriendship。\"Theladiesdanced，andlookedaslovelyasthecourtofGeorgeIV。YetIknew，eveninmydream，thattheyhadbeeninthegravefornearlytwocenturies。Thispageantwouldsuddenlydissolve;andataclappingofhandswouldbeheardtheheart-quakingsoundOFCONSULROMANUS;
andimmediatelycame\"sweepingby，\"ingorgeouspaludaments，PaulusorMarius，girtroundbyacompanyofcenturions，withthecrimsontunichoistedonaspear，andfollowedbythealalagmosoftheRomanlegions。
Manyyearsago，whenIwaslookingoverPiranesi’s，AntiquitiesofRome，Mr。Coleridge，whowasstandingby，describedtomeasetofplatesbythatartist，calledhisDREAMS，andwhichrecordthesceneryofhisownvisionsduringthedeliriumofafever。Someofthem（IdescribeonlyfrommemoryofMr。Coleridge’saccount）
representedvastGothichalls，onthefloorofwhichstoodallsortsofenginesandmachinery，wheels，cables，pulleys，levers，catapults，&c。&c。，expressiveofenormouspowerputforthandresistanceovercome。Creepingalongthesidesofthewallsyouperceivedastaircase;anduponit，gropinghiswayupwards，wasPiranesihimself：followthestairsalittlefurtherandyouperceiveitcometoasuddenandabruptterminationwithoutanybalustrade，andallowingnosteponwardstohimwhohadreachedtheextremityexceptintothedepthsbelow。WhateveristobecomeofpoorPiranesi，yousupposeatleastthathislaboursmustinsomewayterminatehere。Butraiseyoureyes，andbeholdasecondflightofstairsstillhigher，onwhichagainPiranesiisperceived，butthistimestandingontheverybrinkoftheabyss。Againelevateyoureye，andastillmoreaerialflightofstairsisbeheld，andagainispoorPiranesibusyonhisaspiringlabours;andsoon，untiltheunfinishedstairsandPiranesibotharelostintheuppergloomofthehall。Withthesamepowerofendlessgrowthandself-
reproductiondidmyarchitectureproceedindreams。Intheearlystageofmymaladythesplendoursofmydreamswereindeedchieflyarchitectural;andIbeheldsuchpompofcitiesandpalacesaswasneveryetbeheldbythewakingeyeunlessintheclouds。FromagreatmodernpoetIcitepartofapassagewhichdescribes，asanappearanceactuallybeheldintheclouds，whatinmanyofitscircumstancesIsawfrequentlyinsleep：
Theappearance，instantaneouslydisclosed，Wasofamightycity——boldlysayAwildernessofbuilding，sinkingfarAndself-withdrawnintoawondrousdepth，Farsinkingintosplendour——withoutend！
Fabricitseem’dofdiamond，andofgold，Withalabasterdomes，andsilverspires，Andblazingterraceuponterrace，highUplifted;here，serenepavilionsbrightInavenuesdisposed;theretowersbegirtWithbattlementsthatontheirrestlessfrontsBorestars——illuminationofallgems！
ByearthlynaturehadtheeffectbeenwroughtUponthedarkmaterialsofthestormNowpacified;onthem，andonthecoves，Andmountain-steepsandsummits，whereuntoThevapourshadreceded，——takingthereTheirstationunderaceruleansky。&c。&c。
Thesublimecircumstance，\"battlementsthatontheirRESTLESSfrontsborestars，\"mighthavebeencopiedfrommyarchitecturaldreams，foritoftenoccurred。WehearitreportedofDrydenandofFuseli，inmoderntimes，thattheythoughtpropertoeatrawmeatforthesakeofobtainingsplendiddreams：howmuchbetterforsuchapurposetohaveeatenopium，whichyetIdonotrememberthatanypoetisrecordedtohavedone，exceptthedramatistShadwell;andinancientdaysHomerisIthinkrightlyreputedtohaveknownthevirtuesofopium。
Tomyarchitecturesucceededdreamsoflakesandsilveryexpansesofwater：thesehauntedmesomuchthatIfeared（thoughpossiblyitwillappearludicroustoamedicalman）thatsomedropsicalstateortendencyofthebrainmightthusbemakingitself（touseametaphysicalword）OBJECTIVE;andthesentientorganPROJECTitselfasitsownobject。FortwomonthsIsufferedgreatlyinmyhead，apartofmybodilystructurewhichhadhithertobeensoclearfromalltouchortaintofweakness（physicallyImean）thatIusedtosayofit，asthelastLordOrfordsaidofhisstomach，thatitseemedlikelytosurvivetherestofmyperson。TillnowIhadneverfeltaheadacheeven，oranytheslightestpain，exceptrheumaticpainscausedbymyownfolly。However，Igotoverthisattack，thoughitmusthavebeenvergingonsomethingverydangerous。
Thewatersnowchangedtheircharacter——fromtranslucentlakesshininglikemirrorstheynowbecameseasandoceans。Andnowcameatremendouschange，which，unfoldingitselfslowlylikeascrollthroughmanymonths，promisedanabidingtorment;andinfactitneverleftmeuntilthewindingupofmycase。Hithertothehumanfacehadmixedofteninmydreams，butnotdespoticallynorwithanyspecialpoweroftormenting。ButnowthatwhichIhavecalledthetyrannyofthehumanfacebegantounfolditself。PerhapssomepartofmyLondonlifemightbeanswerableforthis。Bethatasitmay，nowitwasthatupontherockingwatersoftheoceanthehumanfacebegantoappear;theseaappearedpavedwithinnumerablefacesupturnedtotheheavens——facesimploring，wrathful，despairing，surgedupwardsbythousands，bymyriads，bygenerations，bycenturies：myagitationwasinfinite;mymindtossedandsurgedwiththeocean。
May1818
TheMalayhasbeenafearfulenemyformonths。Ihavebeeneverynight，throughhismeans，transportedintoAsiaticscenes。Iknownotwhetherothersshareinmyfeelingsonthispoint;butIhaveoftenthoughtthatifIwerecompelledtoforegoEngland，andtoliveinChina，andamongChinesemannersandmodesoflifeandscenery，Ishouldgomad。Thecausesofmyhorrorliedeep，andsomeofthemmustbecommontoothers。SouthernAsiaingeneralistheseatofawfulimagesandassociations。Asthecradleofthehumanrace，itwouldalonehaveadimandreverentialfeelingconnectedwithit。Butthereareotherreasons。Nomancanpretendthatthewild，barbarous，andcapricioussuperstitionsofAfrica，orofsavagetribeselsewhere，affecthiminthewaythatheisaffectedbytheancient，monumental，cruel，andelaboratereligionsofIndostan，&c。ThemereantiquityofAsiaticthings，oftheirinstitutions，histories，modesoffaith，&c。，issoimpressive，thattomethevastageoftheraceandnameoverpowersthesenseofyouthintheindividual。AyoungChineseseemstomeanantediluvianmanrenewed。EvenEnglishmen，thoughnotbredinanyknowledgeofsuchinstitutions，cannotbutshudderatthemysticsublimityofCASTESthathaveflowedapart，andrefusedtomix，throughsuchimmemorialtractsoftime;norcananymanfailtobeawedbythenamesoftheGangesortheEuphrates。ItcontributesmuchtothesefeelingsthatsouthernAsiais，andhasbeenforthousandsofyears，thepartoftheearthmostswarmingwithhumanlife，thegreatofficinagentium。Manisaweedinthoseregions。
ThevastempiresalsoinwhichtheenormouspopulationofAsiahasalwaysbeencast，giveafurthersublimitytothefeelingsassociatedwithallOrientalnamesorimages。InChina，overandabovewhatithasincommonwiththerestofsouthernAsia，Iamterrifiedbythemodesoflife，bythemanners，andthebarrierofutterabhorrenceandwantofsympathyplacedbetweenusbyfeelingsdeeperthanIcananalyse。Icouldsoonerlivewithlunaticsorbruteanimals。Allthis，andmuchmorethanIcansayorhavetimetosay，thereadermustenterintobeforehecancomprehendtheunimaginablehorrorwhichthesedreamsofOrientalimageryandmythologicaltorturesimpresseduponme。UndertheconnectingfeelingoftropicalheatandverticalsunlightsIbroughttogetherallcreatures，birds，beasts，reptiles，alltreesandplants，usagesandappearances，thatarefoundinalltropicalregions，andassembledthemtogetherinChinaorIndostan。Fromkindredfeelings，IsoonbroughtEgyptandallhergodsunderthesamelaw。
Iwasstaredat，hootedat，grinnedat，chatteredat，bymonkeys，byparroquets，bycockatoos。Iranintopagodas，andwasfixedforcenturiesatthesummitorinsecretrooms：Iwastheidol;Iwasthepriest;Iwasworshipped;Iwassacrificed。IfledfromthewrathofBramathroughalltheforestsofAsia：Vishnuhatedme：
Seevalaidwaitforme。IcamesuddenlyuponIsisandOsiris：I
haddoneadeed，theysaid，whichtheibisandthecrocodiletrembledat。Iwasburiedforathousandyearsinstonecoffins，withmummiesandsphynxes，innarrowchambersattheheartofeternalpyramids。Iwaskissed，withcancerouskisses，bycrocodiles;andlaid，confoundedwithallunutterableslimythings，amongstreedsandNiloticmud。
IthusgivethereadersomeslightabstractionofmyOrientaldreams，whichalwaysfilledmewithsuchamazementatthemonstrousscenerythathorrorseemedabsorbedforawhileinsheerastonishment。Soonerorlatercamearefluxoffeelingthatswalloweduptheastonishment，andleftmenotsomuchinterrorasinhatredandabominationofwhatIsaw。Overeveryform，andthreat，andpunishment，anddimsightlessincarceration，broodedasenseofeternityandinfinitythatdrovemeintoanoppressionasofmadness。Intothesedreamsonlyitwas，withoneortwoslightexceptions，thatanycircumstancesofphysicalhorrorentered。Allbeforehadbeenmoralandspiritualterrors。Butherethemainagentswereuglybirds，orsnakes，orcrocodiles;especiallythelast。Thecursedcrocodilebecametometheobjectofmorehorrorthanalmostalltherest。Iwascompelledtolivewithhim，and（aswasalwaysthecasealmostinmydreams）forcenturies。Iescapedsometimes，andfoundmyselfinChinesehouses，withcanetables，&c。
Allthefeetofthetables，sofas，&c。，soonbecameinstinctwithlife：theabominableheadofthecrocodile，andhisleeringeyes，lookedoutatme，multipliedintoathousandrepetitions;andI
stoodloathingandfascinated。Andsooftendidthishideousreptilehauntmydreamsthatmanytimestheverysamedreamwasbrokenupintheverysameway：Iheardgentlevoicesspeakingtome（IheareverythingwhenIamsleeping），andinstantlyIawoke。
Itwasbroadnoon，andmychildrenwerestanding，handinhand，atmybedside——cometoshowmetheircolouredshoes，ornewfrocks，ortoletmeseethemdressedforgoingout。Iprotestthatsoawfulwasthetransitionfromthedamnedcrocodile，andtheotherunutterablemonstersandabortionsofmydreams，tothesightofinnocentHUMANnaturesandofinfancy，thatinthemightyandsuddenrevulsionofmindIwept，andcouldnotforbearit，asIkissedtheirfaces。
June1819
Ihavehadoccasiontoremark，atvariousperiodsofmylife，thatthedeathsofthosewhomwelove，andindeedthecontemplationofdeathgenerally，is（caeterisparibus）moreaffectinginsummerthaninanyotherseasonoftheyear。Andthereasonsarethesethree，I
think：first，thatthevisibleheavensinsummerappearfarhigher，moredistant，and（ifsuchasolecismmaybeexcused）moreinfinite;