\"Iamtall，withablackbeard，andIhatepublicity。Ihavenomoneytospeakof；Idonotlikeoatmeal，anditistheoneambitionofmylifetodierich。Iamofacoldandheartlessdisposition。IdonotcareformyfellowmenandInevergiveacenttobeggarsorcharity。
\"Now，mydeardoctor，thatisthetruedescriptionofmyself，themanwhomthatshrewddetectivewastohuntdown。YouwhoarefamiliarwiththehistoryofcrimeinNewYorkoflateshouldbeabletoforetelltheresult。WhenIpromisedyoutoexhibittoyourincredulousgazethesleuthwhowassetuponme，youlaughedatmebecauseyousaidthatdetectivesandmurderersnevermetinNewYork。
Ihavedemonstratedtoyouthatthetheoryispossible。\"
\"Buthowdidyoudoit？\"Iaskedagain。
\"Itwasverysimple，\"repliedthedistinguishedmurderer。\"I
assumedthatthedetectivewouldgoexactlyoppositetotheclueshehad。Ihavegivenyouadescriptionofmyself。Therefore，hemustnecessarilysettoworkandtrailashortmanwithawhitebeardwholikestobeinthepapers，whoisverywealthy，isfond’ofoatmeal，wantstodiepoor，andisofanextremelygenerousandphilanthropicdisposition。Whenthusfarisreachedthemindhesitatesnolonger。IconveyedyouatoncetothespotwhereShamrockJolneswaspipingoffAndrewCarnegie’sresidence。\"
\"Knight，\"saidI，\"you’reawonder。Iftherewasnodangerofyourreforming，whataroundsmanyou’dmakefortheNineteenthPrecinct!\"
THEDOGANDTHEPLAYLET
[Thisstoryhasbeenrewrittenandpublishedin\"StrictlyBusiness\"
underthetitle，TheProofofthePudding。]
UsuallyitisacolddayinJulywhenyoucanstrollupBroadwayinthatmonthandgetastoryoutofthedrama。Ifoundoneafewbreathless，parboilingdaysago，anditseemstodecideaseriousquestioninart。
TherewasnotasoulleftinthecityexceptHollisandme——andtwoorthreemillionsunworshipperswhoremainedatdesksandcounters。
Theelecthadfledtoseashore，lake，andmountain，andhadalreadybeguntodrawforadditionalfunds。EveryeveningHollisandI
prowledaboutthedesertedtownsearchingforcoolnessinemptycafes，dining—rooms，androofgardens。WeknewtothetenthpartofarevolutionthespeedofeveryelectricfaninGotham，andwefollowedtheswiftestastheyvaried。Hollis’sfiancee。MissLorisSherman，hadbeenintheAdirondacks，atLowerSaranacLake，foramonth。Inanotherweekhewouldjoinherpartythere。Inthemeantime，hecursedthecitycheerfullyandoptimistically，andsoughtmysocietybecauseIsufferedhimtoshowmeherphotographduringtheblackcoffeeeverytimewedinedtogether。
Myrevengewastoreadtohimmyone—actplay。
Itwasoneinsufferableeveningwhentheoverplusoftheday’sheatwasbeinghurledquiveringlybacktotheheavensbyeverysurchargedbrickandstoneandinchofironinthepantingtown。Butwiththecunningofthetwo—leggedbeastswehadfoundanoasiswherethehoofsofApollo’ssteedhadnotbeenallowedtostrike。Ourseatswereonanoceanofcool，polishedoak；thewhitelinenoffiftydesertedtablesflappedlikeseagullsintheartificialbreeze；amileawayawaiterlingeredforaheliographicsignal——wemighthaveroaredsongsthereorfoughtaduelwithoutmolestation。
OutcameMissLoris’sphotowiththecoffee，andIoncemorepraisedtheelegantpoiseoftheneck，theextremelylow—coiledmassofheavyhair，andtheeyesthatfollowedone，likethoseinanoilpainting。
\"She’sthegreatestever，\"saidHollis，withenthusiasm。\"GoodasGreatNorthernPreferred，andadispositionbuiltlikeawatch。OneweekmoreandI’llbehappyJonny—on—the—spot。OldTomTolliver，mybestcollegechum，wentuptheretwoweeksago。HewritesmethatLorisdoesn’ttalkaboutanythingbutme。Oh，IguessRipVanWinkledidn’thaveallthegoodluck!\"
\"Yes，yes，\"saidI，hurriedly，pullingoutmytypewrittenplay。
\"She’snodoubtacharminggirl。Now，here’sthatlittlecurtain—
raiseryoupromisedtolistento。\"
\"Everbeentriedonthestage？\"askedHollis。
\"Notexactly，\"Ianswered。\"IreadhalfofittheotherdaytoafellowwhosebrotherknowsRobertEdeson；buthehadtocatchatrainbeforeIfinished。\"
\"Goon，\"saidHollis，slidingbackinhischairlikeagoodfellow。
\"I’mnostagecarpenter，butI’lltellyouwhatIthinkofitfromafirst—rowbalconystandpoint。I’matheatrebugduringtheseason，andIcansizeupafakeplayalmostasquickasthegallerycan。
Flagthewaiteroncemore，andthengoaheadashardasyoulikewithit。I’llbethedog。\"
Ireadmylittleplaylovingly，and，Ifear，notwithoutsomeelocution。TherewasonesceneinitthatIbelievedingreatly。
Thecomedyswiftlyrisesintothrillingandunexpectedlydevelopeddrama。Capt。Marchmontsuddenlybecomescognizantthathiswifeisanunscrupulousadventuress，whohasdeceivedhimfromthedayoftheirfirstmeeting。Therapidandmortalduelbetweenthemfromthatmoment——shewithhermagnificentliesandsirencharm，windingabouthimlikeaserpent，tryingtorecoverherlostground；hewithhisman’sagonyandscornandlostfaith，tryingtotearherfromhisheart。ThatsceneIalwaysthoughtwasacrackerjack。WhenCapt。
MarchmontdiscoversherduplicitybyreadingonablotterinamirrortheimpressionofanotethatshehaswrittentotheCount，heraiseshishandtoheavenandexclaims：\"OGod，whocreatedwomanwhileAdamslept，andgavehertohimforacompanion，takebackThygiftandreturninsteadthesleep，thoughitlastforever!\"
\"Rot，\"saidHollis，rudely，whenIhadgiventhoselineswithproperemphasis。
\"Ibegyourpardon!\"Isaid，assweetlyasIcould。
\"Comenow，\"wentonHollis，\"don’tbeanidiot。Youknowverywellthatnobodyspoutsanystufflikethatthesedays。Thatsketchwentalongallrightuntilyourangintheskyrockets。Cutoutthatright—armexerciseandtheAdamandEvestunt，andmakeyourcaptaintalkasyouorIorBillJoneswould。\"
\"I’lladmit，\"saidI，earnestly（formytheorywasbeingtouchedupon），\"thatonallordinaryoccasionsallofususecommonplacelanguagetoconveyourthoughts。Youwillrememberthatuptothemomentwhenthecaptainmakeshisterriblediscoveryallthecharactersonthestagetalkprettymuchastheywould，inreallife。
ButIbelievethatIamrightinallowinghimlinessuitabletothestrongandtragicsituationintowhichhefalls。\"
\"Tragic，myeye!\"saidmyfriend，irreverently。\"InShakespeare’sdayhemighthavesputteredoutsomehigh—cockalorumnonsenseofthatsort，becauseinthosedaystheyorderedhamandeggsinblankverseanddischargedthecookwithanepic。ButnotforB’wayinthesummerof1905!\"
\"Itismyopinion，\"saidI，\"thatgreathumanemotionsshakeupourvocabularyandleavethewordsbestsuitedtoexpressthemontop。A
suddenviolentgrieforlossordisappointmentwillbringexpressionsoutofanordinarymanasstrongandsolemnanddramaticasthoseusedinfictionoronthestagetoportraythoseemotions。\"
\"That’swhereyoufellowsarewrong，\"saidHollis。\"Plain，every—daytalkiswhatgoes。Yourcaptainwouldverylikelyhavekickedthecat，litacigar，stirredupahighball，andtelephonedforalawyer，insteadofgettingoffthoseRobertMantellpyrotechnics。\"
\"Possibly，alittlelater，\"Icontinued。\"Butjustatthetime——justastheblowisdelivered，ifsomethingScripturalortheatricalanddeep—tonguedisn’twrungfromamaninspiteofhismodernandpracticalwayofspeaking，thenI’mwrong。\"
\"Ofcourse，\"saidHollis，kindly，\"you’vegottowhoopherupsomedegreesforthestage。Theaudienceexpectsit。WhenthevillainkidnapslittleEffieyouhavetomakehermotherclawsomechunksoutoftheatmosphere，andscream：\"Mechee—ild，mechee—ild!\"Whatshewouldactuallydowouldbetocallupthepoliceby’phone，ringforsomestrongtea，andgetthelittledarling’sphotoout，readyforthereporters。Whenyougetyourvillaininacorner——astagecorner——it’sallrightforhimtoclaphishandtohisforeheadandhiss：
\"Allislost!\"Offthestagehewouldremark：\"Thisisaconspiracyagainstme——Ireferyoutomylawyers。’\"
\"Igetnoconsolation，\"saidI，gloomily，\"fromyourconcessionofanaccentuatedstagetreatment。InmyplayIfondlyhopedthatIwasfollowinglife。Ifpeopleinreallifemeetgreatcrisesinacommonplaceway，theyshoulddothesameonthestage。\"
Andthenwedrifted，liketwotrout，outofourcoolpoolinthegreathotelandbegantonibblelanguidlyatthegayfliesintheswiftcurrentofBroadway。Andourquestionofdramaticartwasunsettled。
Wenibbledattheflies，andavoidedthehooks，aswisetroutdo；butsoonthewearinessofManhattaninsummerovercameus。Ninestoriesup，facingthesouth，wasHollis’sapartment，andwesoonsteppedintoanelevatorboundforthatcoolerhaven。
Iwasfamiliarinthosequarters，andquicklymyplaywasforgotten，andIstoodatasideboardmixingthings，withcrackediceandglassesallaboutme。Abreezefromthebaycameinthewindowsnotaltogetherblightedbytheasphaltfurnaceoverwhichithadpassed。
Hollis，whistlingsoftly，turnedoveralate—arrivedletterortwoonhistable，anddrewaroundthecoolestwickerarmchairs。
IwasjustmeasuringtheVermouthcarefullywhenIheardasound。
Someman’svoicegroanedhoarsely：\"False，oh，God!——false，andLoveisalieandfriendshipbutthebywordofdevils!\"
Ilookedaroundquickly。Hollislayacrossthetablewithhisheaddownuponhisoutstretchedarms。Andthenhelookedupatmeandlaughedinhisordinarymanner。
Iknewhim——hewaspokingfunatmeaboutmytheory。Anditdidseemsounnatural，thoseswellingwordsduringourquietgossip，thatI
halfbegantobelieveIhadbeenmistaken——thatmytheorywaswrong。
Hollisraisedhimselfslowlyfromthetable。
\"Youwererightaboutthattheatricalbusiness，oldman，\"hesaid，quietly，ashetossedanotetome。
Ireadit。
LorishadrunawaywithTomTolliver。
ALITTLETALKABOUTMOBS
\"Isee，\"remarkedthetallgentlemaninthefrockcoatandblackslouchhat，\"thatanotherstreetcarmotormaninyourcityhasnarrowlyexcapedlynchingatthehandsofaninfuriatedmobbylightingacigarandwalkingacoupleofblocksdownthestreet。\"
\"Doyouthinktheywouldhavelynchedhim？\"askedtheNewYorker，inthenextseatoftheferrystation，whowasalsowaitingfortheboat。
\"Notuntilaftertheelection，\"saidthetallman，cuttingacorneroffhisplugoftobacco。\"I’vebeeninyourcitylongenoughtoknowsomethingaboutyourmobs。Themotorman’smobisabouttheleastdangerousofthemall，excepttheNationalGuardandtheDressmakers’
Convention。
\"Yousee，whenlittleWillieGoldsteinissentbyhismotherforpigs’
knuckles，withanickeltightlygraspedinhischubbyfist，healwayscrossesthestreetcartracksafelytwentyfeetaheadofthecar；andthensuddenlyturnsbacktoaskhisinotherwhetheritwaspalealeoraspoolof80whitecottonthatshewanted。Themotormanyellsandthrowshimselfonthebrakeslikeafootballplayer。Thereisahorriblegrindingandthenarippingsound，andapiercingshriek，andWillieissitting，withpartofhistrouserstornawaybythefender，screamingforhislostnickel。
\"Intensecondsthecarissurroundedby600infuriatedcitizens，crying，’Lynchthemotorman!Lynchthemotorman!’atthetopoftheirvoices。Someofthemruntothenearestcigarstoretogetarope；buttheyfindthelastonehasjustbeencutupandlabelled。
Hundredsoftheexcitedmobpressclosetothecoweringmotorman，whosehandisobservedtotrembleperceptiblyashetransfersastickofpepsingumfromhispockettohismouth。
\"Whenthebloodthirstymobofmaddenedcitizenshasclosedinonthemotorman，somebringingcampstoolsandsittingquiteclosetohim，andallshouting，’Lynchhim!’PolicemanFogartyforceshiswaythroughthemtothesideoftheirprospectivevictim。
\"’Hello，Mike，’saysthemotormaninalowvoice，’niceday。ShallIsneakoffablockorso，orwouldyouliketorescueme？’
\"’Well，Jerry，ifyoudon’tmind，’saysthepoliceman，’I’dliketodispersetheinfuriatedmobsinglehanded。Ihaven’tdefeatedalynchingmobsincelastTuesday；andthatwasasmalloneofonly300，thatwantedtostringupaDagoboyforsellingwormypears。
Itwouldboostmesomedownatthestation。’
\"’Allright，Mike，’saysthemotorman，’anythingtooblige。I’llturnpaleandtremble。’
\"Andhedoesso；andPolicemanFogartydrawshisclubandsays，’G’wanwidyez!’andineightsecondsthedesperatemobhasscatteredandgoneaboutitsbusiness，exceptaboutahundredwhoremaintosearchforWillie’snickel。\"
\"Ineverheardofamobinourcitydoingviolencetoamotormanbecauseofanaccident，\"saidtheNewYorker。
\"Youarenotliableto，\"saidthetallman。\"Theyknowthemotorman’sallright，andthathewouldn’tevenrunoverastraydogifhecouldhelpit。Andtheyknowthatnotamanamong’emwouldtietheknottohangevenaThomascatthathadbeentriedandcondemnedandsentencedaccordingtolaw。\"
\"Thenwhydotheybecomeinfuriatedandmakethreatsoflynching？\"
askedtheNewYorker。
\"Toassurethemotorman，\"answeredthetallman，\"thatheissafe。
Iftheyreallywantedtodohimuptheywouldgointothehousesanddropbricksonhimfromthethird—storywindows。\"
\"NewYorkersarenotcowards，\"saidtheotherman，alittlestiffly。
\"Notoneatatime，\"agreedthetallman，promptly。\"You’vegotafinelotofsingle—handedscrappersinyourtown。I’dratherfightthreeofyouthanone；andI’dgoupagainstalltheGasTrust’svictimsinabunchbeforeI’dpasstwocitizensonadarkcorner，withmywatchchainshowing。Whenyougetroundedupinabunchyouloseyournerve。Getyouincrowdsandyou’reeasy。Askthe’L’
roadguardsandGeorgeB。CortelyouandthetintypeboothsatConeyIsland。Dividedyoustand，unitedyoufall。~Epluribusnihil。~
Wheneveroneofyourmobssurroundsamanandbeginstoholler，\"Lynchhim!’hesaystohimself，\"Oh，dear，IsupposeImustlookpaletopleasetheboys，butIwill，forsooth，letmylifeinsurancepremiumlapseto—morrow。ThisisasuretipformetoplayMethuselahstraightacrosstheboardinthenexthandicap。’
\"IcanimaginethetorturedfeelingsofaprisonerinthehandsofNewYorkpolicemenwhenaninfuriatedmobdemandsthathebeturnedovertothemforlynching。\"ForGod’ssake，officers，’criesthedistractedwretch，’haveyeheartsofstone，thatyewillnotletthemwrestmefromye？’
\"’Sorry，Jimmy，’saysoneofthepolicemen，’butitwon’tdo。There’sthreeofus——meandDarrelandtheplain—clothesman；andthere’sonlysivinthousandofthemob。How’dweexplainitattheofficeiftheytookye？Jistchasetheinfuriatedaggregationaroundthecorner，Darrel，andwe’llbemovin’alongtothestation。’\"
\"Someofourgatheringsofexcitedcitizenshavenotbeensoharmless，\"saidtheNewYorker，withafaintnoteofcivicpride。
\"I’lladmitthat，\"saidthetallman。\"Acousinofminewhowasonavisithereoncehadanarmbrokenandlostanearinoneofthem。\"
\"ThatmusthavebeenduringtheCooperUnionriots，\"remarkedtheNewYorker。
\"NottheCooperUnion，\"explainedthetallman——\"butitwasaunionriot——attheVanastorwedding。\"
\"Youseemtobeinfavoroflynchlaw，\"saidtheNewYorker，severely。
\"No，sir，Iamnot。Nointelligentmanis。But，sir，therearecertaincaseswhenpeopleriseintheirjustmajestyandtakearighteousvengeanceforcrimesthatthelawisslowinpunishing。
Iamanadvocateoflawandorder，butIwillsaytoyouthatlessthansixmonthsagoImyselfassistedatthelynchingofone\"ofthatracethatiscreatingawidechasmbetweenyoursectionofcountryandmine，sir。\"
\"Itisadeplorablecondition，\"saidtheNewYorker，\"thatexistsintheSouth，but——\"
\"IamfromIndiana，sir，\"saidthetallman，takinganotherchew；
\"andIdon’tthinkyouwillcondemnmycoursewhenItellyouthatthecoloredmaninquestionhadstolen$9。60incash，sir，frommyownbrother。\"
THESNOWMAN
EDITORIALNOTE。——~BeforethefatalillnessofWilliamSydneyPorter（knownthroughhisliteraryworkas\"O。Henry\"）thisAmericanmasterofshort—storywritinghadbegunforHampton’sMagazinethestoryprintedbelow。Illnesscreptuponhimrapidlyandhewascompelledtogiveupwritingaboutatthepointwherethegirlentersthestory。
Whenherealizedthathecoulddonomore{itwashislifelonghabittowritewithapencil，neverdictatingtoastenographer），O。HenrytoldindetailtheremainderofTheSnowMantoHarrisMertonLyon，whomhehadoftenspokenofasoneofthemosteffectiveshort—storywritersofthepresenttime。Mr。Porterhaddelineatedallofthecharacters，leavingonlytheroundingoutoftheplotinthefinalpagestoMr。Lyon。~
Housedandwindowpanedfromit，thegreatestwondertolittlechildrenisthesnow。Tomen，itissomethinglikeacrucibleinwhichtheirworldmeltsintoawhitestartenmillionmilesaway。
ThemanwhocanstandthetestisaSnowMan；andthisishisreadingbyFahrenheit，Reaumur，orMoses’scarventabletsofstone。
NighthadflutteredasablepinionabovethecanyonofBigLostRiver，andIurgedmyhorsetowardtheBayHorseRanchbecausethesnowwasdeepening。Theflakeswereaslargeasanhour’scirculartattingbyMissWilkins’sablestspinster，betokeningaheavysnowfallandlessentertainmentandmoreadventurethanthecompletionofthetattingcouldpromise。IknewRossCurtisoftheBayHorse，andthatIwouldbewelcomeasasnow—boundpilgrim，bothforhospitality’ssakeandbecauseRosshadfewchancestoconfideinlivingcreatureswhodidnotneigh，bellow，bleat，yelp，orhowlduringhisdiscourse。
TheranchhousewasjustwithinthejawsofthecanyonwhereitsbuildermayhavefatuouslyfanciedthatthetimberedandrockywallsonbothsideswouldhaveprotecteditfromthewintryColoradowinds；
butIfearedthedrift。Evennowthroughtheendless，bottomlessriftinthehills——thespeakingtubeofthefourwinds——cameroaringthevoiceoftheproprietortothelittleroomonthetopfloor。
Atmy\"hello，\"aranchhandcamefromanouterbuildingandreceivedmythankfulhorse。Inanotherminute，RossandIsatbyastoveinthedining—roomofthefour—roomranchhouse，whilethebig，simplewelcomeofthehouseholdlayatmydisposal。Fannedbythewhizzingnorther，thefine，drysnowwassiftedandboltedthroughthecracksandknotholesofthelogs。Thecookroom，withoutaseparatingdoor，appended。
InthereIcouldseeashort，sturdy，leisurelyandweather—beatenmanmovingwithprofessionalsurenessabouthisred—hotstove。
Hisfacewasstolidandunreadable——somethinglikethatofagreatthinker，orofonewhohadnothoughtstoconceal。Ithoughthiseyeseemedunwarrantablysuperiortotheelementsandtotheman，butquicklyattributedthattothecharacteristicself—importanceofapettychef。\"Campcook\"wasthenichethatIgavehimintheHallofTypes；andhefitteditasanapplefitsadumpling。
Colditwasinspiteoftheglowingstove；andRossandIsatandtalked，shudderingfrequently，halffromnervesandhalffromthefreezingdraughts。Sohebroughtthebottleandthecookbroughtboilingwater，andwemadeprodigioushottoddiesagainsttheattacksofBoreas。Weclinkedglassesoften。Theysoundedlikeiciclesdroppingfromtheeaves，orlikethetinkleofathousandprismsonaLouisXIVchandelierthatIonceheardataboarder’sdanceintheparlorofaten—a—weekboarding—houseinGramercySquare。~Sictransit。~
SilenceintheterriblebeautyofthesnowandoftheSphinxandofthestars；buttheywhobelievethatallthings，fromawithout—winetabled’hotetothecrucifixion，maybeinterpretedthroughmusic，mighthavefoundanocturneorasymphonytoexpresstheisolationofthatblotted—outworld。Theclinkofglassandbottle，theaeolianchorusofthewindinthehousecrannies，itsdeepertrombonethroughthecanyonbelow，andtheWagneriancrashofthecook’spotsandpans，unitedinafit，discordantmelody，Ithought。NolesswelcomeanaccompanimentwasthesizzlingofbroilinghamandvenisoncutletindorsedbythesolventfumesoftrueJava，bringingrichpromisesofcomforttoouryearningsouls。
Thecookbroughtthesmokingsuppertothetable。Henoddedtomedemocraticallyashecasttheheavyplatesaroundasthoughhewerepitchingquoitsorhurlingthediscus。Ilookedathimwithsomeappraisementandcuriosityandmuchconciliation。Therewasnoprophettotelluswhenthatdriftingeviloutsidemightceasetofall；anditiswell，whensnow—bound，tostandsomewherewithintheradiusofthecook’sfavorableconsideration。ButIcouldreadneitherfavornordisapprovalinthefaceandmannerofourpot—wrestler。
Hewasaboutfivefeetnineinches，andtwohundredpoundsofcommonplace，bull—necked，pink—faced，callouscalm。Heworebrownducktrouserstootightandtooshort，andablueflannelshirtwithsleevesrolledabovehiselbows。Therewasasortofgrim，steadyscowlonhisfeaturesthatlookedtomeasthoughhehadfixedittherepurposelyasaprotectionagainsttheweaknessofaninherentamiabilitythat，hefancied，werebetterconcealed。AndthenIletsupperusurphisbriefoccupancyofmythoughts。
\"Drawup，George，\"saidRoss。\"Let’salleatwhilethegrub’shot。\"
\"Youfellowsgoonandchew，\"answeredthecook。\"Iatemineinthekitchenbeforesun—down。\"
\"Thinkit’llbeabigsnow，George？\"askedtheranchman。
Georgehadturnedtoreenterthecookroom。Hemovedslowlyaroundand，lookingathisface，itseemedtomethathewasturningoverthewisdomandknowledgeofcenturiesinhishead。
\"Itmight，\"washisdelayedreply。
Atthedoorofthekitchenhestoppedandlookedbackatus。BothRossandIheldourknivesandforkspoisedandgavehimourregard。
Somemenhavethepowerofdrawingtheattentionofotherswithoutspeakingaword。Theirattitudeismoreeffectivethanashout。
\"Andagainitmightn’t，\"saidGeorge，andwentbacktohisstove。
Afterwehadeaten，hecameinandgatheredtheemptieddishes。Hestoodforamoment，whilehisspuriousfrowndeepened。
\"Itmightstopanyminute，\"hesaid，\"oritmightkeepupfordays。\"
AtthefartherendofthecookroomIsawGeorgepourhotwaterintohisdishpan，lighthispipe，andputthetablewarethroughitsrequiredlavation。Hethencarefullyunwrappedfromapieceofoldsaddleblanketapaperbackbook，andsettledhimselftoreadbyhisdimoillamp。
Andthentheranchmanthrewtobaccoontheclearedtableandsetforthagainthebottlesandglasses；andIsawthatIstoodinadeepchannelthroughwhichthelongdammedfloodofhisdiscoursewouldsoonbebooming。ButIwashalfcontent，comparingmyfatewiththatofthelateThomasTucker，whohadtosingforhissupper，thusdoublingtheburdensofbothhimselfandhishost。
\"Snowisahellofathing，\"saidRoss，bywayofaforeword。\"Itain’t，somehow，itseemstome，salubrious。Icanstandwaterandmudandtwoinchesbelowzeroandahundredandtenintheshadeandmedium—sizedcyclones，butthisherefuzzywhitestuffnaturallygetsmealllocoed。Ireckonthereasonitrattlesyouisbecauseitchangesthelookofthingssomuch。It’slikeyouhadawifeandleftherinthemorningwiththesameoldbluecottonwrapperon，andridesinofanightandrunsacrossheralloutfittedinawhitesilkeveningfrock，wavinganostrich—featherfan，andmonkeyingwithaposyoflilyflowers。Wouldn’titmakeyoulookforyourpocketcompass？You’dbeliabletokissherbeforeyoucollectedyourpresenceofmind。\"
Byandby，thefloodofRoss’stalkwasdrawnupintotheclouds（soitpleasedmetofancy）andtherecondensedintothefinersnowflakesofthought；andwesatsilentaboutthestove，asgoodfriendsandbitterenemieswilldo。IthoughtofBoss’spreambleaboutthemysteriousinfluenceuponmanexertedbythatermine—linedmonsterthatnowcoveredourlittleworld，andknewhewasright。
Ofallthecuriousknickknacks，mysteries，puzzles，Indiangifts，rat—traps，andwell—disguisedblessingsthatthegodschuckdowntousfromtheOlympianpeaks，themostdisquietingandevil—bringingisthesnow。Byscientificanalysisitisabsolutebeautyandpurity——so，atthebeginningwelookdoubtfullyatchemistry。
Itfallsupontheworld，andlo!weliveinanother。Ithidesinanighttheoldscarsandfamiliarplaceswithwhichwehavegrownheart—sickorenamored。So，asquietlyaswecan，wehustleonourembroideredrobesandhieusonPrinceCamaralzaman’shorseorinthereindeersleighintothewhitecountrywherethesevencolorsconverge。
Thisiswhenourfancycanovercomethebaneofit。
Butincertainspotsoftheearthcomesthesnow—madness，madeknownbypeopleturnedwildanddistractedbythebewilderingveilthathasobscuredtheonlyworldtheyknow。Inthecities，thewhitefairywhosetsthebrainsofherdupeswhirlingbyawaveofherwandiscastforthecomedyrole。Herdiamondshoebucklesglitterlikefrost；
withapirouettesheinvitesthespotlesscarnival。
Butinthewasteplacesthesnowissardonic。Spongingouttheworldoftheoutliers，itgivesnofootholdonanothersphereinreturn。
Itmakesoftheearthafirmamentunderfoot；itleavesusclawingandstumblinginspaceinaninimicalfifthelementwhoseeviloutdoesitsstrangenessandbeauty，ThereNature，lowcomedienne，playshertricksonman。Thoughshehasputhimforthasherhighestproduct，itappearsthatshehasfashionedhimwithwhatseemsalmostincrediblecarelessnessandindexterity。One—sidedandwithoutbalance，withhistwohalvesunequallyfashionedandjoined，mustheeverjoghiseccentricway。Thesnowfalls，thedarknesscapsit，andtheridiculousman—bipedstraysinaccuratecirclesuntilhesuccumbsintheruinsofhisdefectivearchitecture。
Inthethroatofthethirstythesnowisvitriol。Inappearanceasplausibleasthebreakfastfoodoftheangels，itisashotinthemouthasginger，increasingthepangsofthewater—famished。Itisaderivativefromwater，air，andsomecold，uncannyfirefromwhichthecalorichasbeenextracted。Goodhasbeensaidofit；eventhepoets，crazedbyitsspellandshiveringintheiratticsunderitstouch，haveinditedpermanentmelodiescommemorativeofitsbeauty。
Still，tothesaddestovercoatedoptimistitisaplague——acorrodingplaguethatPharaohsuccessfullyside—stepped。Itbeneficentlycoversthewheatfields，swellingthecrop——andtheFlourTrustgetsusbythethroatlikeasuddenquinsy。Itspreadsthetailofitswhitekirtleovertheredseamsoftheruggednorth——andtheAlaskanshortstoryisborn。Etiolatedperfidy，itsheltersthemountaintravelerburrowingfromtheicyair——and，meltingto—morrow，drownshisbrotherinthevalleybelow。
Atitsworstitislockandkeyandcrucible，andthewandofCirce。
Whenitcorralsmaninlonelyranches，mountaincabins，andforesthuts，thesnowmakesapesandtigersofthehardiest。Itturnsthebosomsofweakeronestoglass，theirtonguestoinfants’rattles，theirheartstolawlessnessandspleen。Itisnotallfromtheisolation；thesnowisnotmerelyablockader；itisaChemicalTest。
Itisagoodmanwhocanshowareactionthatisnotchieflycomposedofadrachmortwoofpotashandmagnesia，withtracesofAdam，Ananias，Nebuchadnezzar，andthefretfulporcupine。
Thisisnostory，yousay；well，letitbegin。
Therewasaknockatthedoor（istheopeningnotfullofcontextandreminiscenceoh，bestbuyersofbestsellers？）。
Wedrewthelatch，andinstumbledEtienneGirod（asheafterwardnamedhimself）。Butjustthenhewasnomorethanawormstrugglingforlife，envelopedinakillingwhitechrysalis。
Wedugdownthroughsnow，overcoats，mufflers，andwaterproofs，anddraggedforthalivingthingwithaVanDyckbeardandmarvellousdiamondrings。Weputitthroughtheapprovedcurriculumofsnow—
rubbing，hotmilk，andteaspoonfuldosesofwhiskey，workinghimuptoagraduatingclassentitledtoadiplomaofthreefingersofryeinhalfaglassfulofhotwater。OneoftheranchboyshadalreadycomefromthequartersatRoss’sbugle—likeyellandkickedthestranger’sstaggeringponytosomeshelteredcorralwherebeastswereentertained。
LetaparagraphicbiographyofGirodintervene。
Etiennewasanoperasingeroriginally，wegathered；butadversityandthesnowhadmadehim~noncomposvocis~。TheadversityconsistedofthestrandedSanSalvadorOperaCompany，aperiodofhotelsecond—
storywork，andthenacareerasaprofessionalpalmist，jumpingfromtowntotown。For，likeotherprofessionalpalmists，everytimeheworkedtheHeartLinetoostronglyheimmediatelymovedalongtheLineofLeastResistance。ThoughEtiennedidnotconfidethistous，wesurmisedthathehadmovedoutintotheduskabouttwentyminutesaheadofaconstable，andhadthusencounteredthesnow。Inhismostsacredbluelanguagehedilateduponthesubjectofsnow；forEtiennewasParis—bornandlovedthesnowwiththesamepassionthatanorchiddoes。
\"Mee—ser—rhable!\"commentedEtienne，andtookanotherthreefingers。
\"Complete，cast—iron，pussy—footed，blank……blank!\"saidRoss，andfollowedsuit。
\"Rotten，\"saidI。
Thecooksaidnothing。Hestoodinthedoorweighingouroutburst；
andinsistentlyfrombehindthatfrozenvisageIgottwomessages（viatheM。A。Mwireless）。OnewasthatGeorgeconsideredourvituperationagainstthesnowchildish；theotherwasthatGeorgedidnotloveDagoes。InasmuchasEtiennewasaFrenchman，IconcludedI
hadthemessagewrong。SoIqueriedtheother：\"Brighteyes，youdon’treallymeanDagoes，doyou？\"andoverthewirelesscamethreedeathly，psychictaps：\"Yes。\"ThenIreflectedthattoGeorgeallforeignerswereprobably\"Dagoes。\"IhadonceknownanothercampcookwhohadthoughtMons。，Sig。，andMillie（Trans—MississippiforMlle。）wereItaliangivennames；thiscookusedtomarvelthereforeatthepaucityofNeo—Romanprecognomens，andthereforewhynot——
Ihavesaidthatsnowisatestofmen。Foroneday，twodays，Etiennestoodatthewindow，Fletcherizinghisfingernailsandshriekingandmoaningatthemonotony。Tome，Etiennewasjustaboutasunbearableasthesnow；andso，seekingrelief，Iwentoutontheseconddaytolookatmyhorse，slippedonastone，brokemycollarbone，andthereafterunderwentnotthesnowtest，butthetestofflat—on—the—back。Atestthatcomesoncetoooftenforanymantostand。
However，Iboreupcheerfully。Iwasnowmerelyaspectator，andfrommycouchinthebigroomIcouldlieandwatchthehumaninterplaywiththatdetached，impassive，impersonalfeelingwhichFrenchwriterstellusissovaluabletothelitterateur，andAmericanwriterstothefaro—dealer。
\"Ishallgocrazyinthisabominable，mee—ser—rhableplace!\"wasEtienne’sconstantprediction。
\"NeverknewMarkTwaintoboremebefore，\"saidRoss，overandover。
Hesatbytheotherwindow，hourafterhour，aboxofPittsburgstogiesofthelength，strength，andodorofaPittsburggraftscandaldepositedononesideofhim，and\"RoughingIt，\"\"TheJumpingFrog，\"
and\"LifeontheMississippi\"ontheother。Foreverychapterhelitanewstogy，puffingfuriously。Thisintime，gavehimarecurrentpremonitionofcramps，gastritis，smoker’scolicorwhateveritistheyhaveinPittsburgafteratoodeepindulgenceingraftscandals。
Tofendoffthecolic，RossresortedtimeandagaintoOldDoctorStill’sAmber—ColoredU。S。A。ColicCure。Result，afterforty—eighthours——nerves。
\"PositivefactIneverknewMarkTwaintomakemetiredbefore。
Positivefact。\"Rossslammed\"RoughingIt\"onthefloor。\"Whenyou’resnowboundthis—awayyouwanttragedy，Iguess。Humorjustseemstobringoutallyourcussedness。Youreadaman’spoor，pitifulattemptstobefunnyanditmakesyousonervousyouwanttotearthebookup，getoutyourbandana，andhaveagood，longcry。\"
Attheotherendoftheroom，theFrenchmantookhisfingernailsoutofhismouthlongenoughtoexclaim：\"Humor!Humoratsuchatimeasthees!MyGod，Ishallgocrazyintheesabominable——\"
\"Supper，\"announcedGeorge。
ThesemealswerenotthemealsofRabelaiswhosaid，\"thegreatGodmakestheplanetsandwemaketheplattersneat。\"Bythattime，theranch—housemealswerenotaffairsofgusto；theywerementaldistraction，notbodilyprovender。WhattheyweretobelatershallneverbeforgottenbyRossormeorEtienne。
Aftersupper，thestogiesandfingernailsbeganagain。Myshoulderachedwretchedly，andwithhalf—closedeyesItriedtoforgetitbywatchingthedeftmovementsofthestolidcook。
SuddenlyIsawhimcockhisear，likeadog。Then，withaswiftstep，hemovedtothedoor，threwitopen，andstoodthere。
Therestofushadheardnothing。
\"Whatisit，George？\"askedRoss。
Thecookreachedouthishandintothedarknessalongsidethejamb。
Withcarefulprecisionheproddedsomething。Thenhemadeonecarefulstepintothesnow。Hisbackmusclesbulgedalittleunderthearmsashestoopedandlightlyliftedaburden。Anotherstepinsidethedoor，whichheshutmethodicallybehindhim，andhedumpedtheburdenatasafedistancefromthefire。
Hestoodupandfixeduswithasolemneye。NoneofusmovedunderthatOrphicsuspenseuntil，\"Awoman，\"remarkedGeorge。
MissWillieAdamswashername。Vocation，school—teacher。Presentavocation，gettinglostinthesnow。Age，yum—yum（thePersianfortwenty）。TaketothewoodsifyouwoulddescribeMissAdams。
Awillowforgrace；ahickoryforfibre；abirchfortheclearwhitenessofherskin；foreyes，theblueskyseenthroughtreetops；
thesilkincocoonsforherhair；hervoice，themurmuroftheeveningJunewindintheleaves；hermouth，theberriesofthewintergreen；
fingersaslightasferns；hertoeassmallasadeertrack。Generalimpressionuponthedazedbeholder——youcouldnotseetheforestforthetrees。
Psychology，withacapitalPandthefootofalynx，atthisjuncturestalksintotheranchhouse。Threemen，acook，aprettyyoungwoman——allsnowbound。Countmeoutofit，asIdidnotcount，anyway。I
neverdid，withwomen。Countthecookout，ifyoulike。ButnotetheeffectuponRossandEtienneGirod。
RossdumpedMarkTwaininatrunkandlockedthetrunk。Also，hediscardedthePittsburgscandals。Also，heshavedoffathreedays’
beard。
Etienne，beingFrench，beganonthebeardfirst。Hepomadedit，fromalittletubeofgreaseHongroiseinhisvestpocket。Hecombeditwithalittlealuminumcombfromthesamevestpocket。Hetrimmeditwithmanicurescissorsfromthesamevestpocket。HislightandGallicspiritsunderwentasudden，miraculouschange。HehummedablitheSanSalvadorOperaCompanytune；hegrinned，smirked，bowed，pirouetted，twiddled，twaddled，twisted，andtooralooed。Gayly，thenotorioustroubadour，couldnothaveequalledEtienne。
Ross’smethodofadvancewasbrusque，domineering。\"Littlewoman，\"
hesaid，\"you’rewelcomehere!\"——andwithwhathethoughtsubtledoublemeaning——\"welcometostayhereaslongasyoulike，snowornosnow。\"
MissAdamsthankedhimalittlewildly，someofthewintergreenberriescreepingintothebirchbark。Shelookedaroundhurriedlyasifseekingescape。Buttherewasnone，savethekitchenandtheroomallottedher。Shemadeanexcuseanddisappearedintoherownroom。
LaterI，feigningsleep，heardthefollowing：
\"MeesAdams，Iwasalmosttoperislh—die—ofmonotonyw’enyourfairandbeautifulfaceappearintheesmee—ser—rhablehouse。\"Iopenedmystarboardeye。Thebeardwasbeingcurledfuriouslyaroundafinger，theSvengalieyewasrolling，thechairwasbeinghunchedclosertotheschool—teacher’s。\"IamFrench——yousee——temperamental——nervous!
Icannotenduretheesdullhoursintheesranchhouse；but——awomancomes!Ah!\"Theshouldersgavenine’rahsandatiger。\"Whatadifference!Allislightandgay；ever’tingsmilew’enyousmile。
Youhave’eart，beauty，grace。My’eartcomesbacktomew’enIfeelyour’eart。So!\"Helaidhishanduponhisvestpocket。Fromthisvantagepointhesuddenlysnatchedattheschool—teacher’sownhand，\"Ah!MeesAdams，ifIcouldonlytellyouhowIad——\"
\"Dinner，\"remarkedGeorge。HewasstandingjustbehindtheFrenchman’sear。Hiseyeslookedstraightintotheschool—teacher’seyes。Afterthirtysecondsofsurvey，hislipsmoved，deepintheflinty，frozenmaelstromofhisface：\"Dinner，\"heconcluded，\"willbereadyintwominutes。\"
MissAdamsjumpedtoherfeet，relieved。\"Imustgetreadyfordinner，\"shesaidbrightly，andwentintoherroom。
Rosscameinfifteenminuteslate。Afterthedisheshadbeencleanedaway，Iwaiteduntilapropitioustimewhentheroomwastemporarilyoursalone，andtoldhimwhathadhappened。
Hebecamesoexcitedthathelitastogywithoutthinking。\"Yeller—
hided，unwashed，palm—readin’skunk，\"hesaidunderhisbreath。\"I’llshoothimfullo’holesifhedon’twatchout——talkin’thatwaytomywife!\"
Igaveajumpthatsetmycollarbonebackanotherweek。\"Yourwife!\"
Igasped。
\"Well，Imeantomakeherthat，\"heannounced。
Theairintheranchhousetherestofthatdaywastensewithpent—upemotions，oh，bestbuyersofbestsellers。
RosswatchedMissAdamsasahawkdoesahen；hewatchedEtienneasahawkdoesascarecrow，EtiennewatchedMissAdamsasaweaseldoesahenhouse。HepaidnoattentiontoRoss。
TheconditionofMissAdams，intheroleofsought—after，wasfeverish。Latelyescapedfromtheagonyandlongtortureofthewhitecold，whereforhoursNaturehadkeptthelittleschool—teacher’svisionlockedinandturneduponherself，nobodyknowsthroughwhatprofoundfeminineintrospectionsshehadgone。Now，suddenlycastamongmen，insteadoffindingreliefandsecurity，shebeheldherselfplungedanewintootherdiscomforts。Eveninherownroomshecouldheartheloudvoicesofherimposedsuitors。\"I’llblowyoufullo’
holes!\"shoutedRoss。\"Witnesses，\"shriekedEtienne，wavinghishandatthecookandme。Shecouldnothaveknownthepreviousharassedconditionofthemen，frettingunderindoorconditions。Allsheknewwas，thatwhereshehadexpectedthefrankfreemasonryoftheWest，shefoundthesubtletangleoftwomen’sminds，bentuponexactingwhateverromancetheremightbeinhersituation。
ShetriedtododgeRossandtheFrenchmanbyspellsofnursingme。
Theyalsocameovertohelpnurse。Thiscombinationarousedsuchanaturalstateofinvalidcussednessonmypartthattheywereallforcedtoretire。Onceshedidmanagetowhisper：\"Iamsoworriedhere。Idon’tknowwhattodo。\"
TowhichIreplied，gently，hitchingupmyshoulder，thatIwasahunch—savantandthattheEighthHouseunderthissign，theMoonbeinginVirgo，showedthateverythingwouldturnoutallright。
ButtwentyminuteslaterIsawEtiennereadingherpalmandfeltthatperhapsImighthavetorecastherhoroscope，andtryforadarkmancomingwithabundle。
Towardsunset，EtienneleftthehouseforafewmomentsandRoss，whohadbeensittingtaciturnandmorose，havingunlockedMarkTwain，madeanotherdash。ItwastypicalRosstalk。
HestoodinfrontofherandlookeddownmajesticallyatthatcoolandperfectspotwhereMissAdams’foreheadmettheneatpartinherfragranthair。First，however，hecastadesperateglanceatme。I
wasinaprofoundslumber。
\"Littlewoman，\"hebegan，\"it’scertainlytoughforamanlikemetoseeyoubotheredthisway。You\"——gulp——\"youhavebeenaloneinthisworldtoolong。Youneedaprotector。Imightsaythatatatimelikethisyouneedaprotectortheworstkind——aprotectorwhowouldtakeathree—ringdelightinsmashingthesaffron—coloredkisseroffofanyyeller—skinnedskunkthatmadehimselfobnoxioustoyou。Hem。
Hem。Iamalonelyman，MissAdams。Ihavesofarhadtocarryonmylifewithoutthe\"——gulp——\"sweetradiance\"——gulp——\"ofawomanaroundthehouse。Ifeelespeciallydoggonedlonelyatatimelikethis，whenIamprettynearlocoedfromhavin’tostallindoors，andhenceitwaswithdelightIwelcomedyourfirstappearanceinthishereshack。SincethenIhavebeenpackedjamfullofmoredifferentkindsoffeelings，ornery，mean，dizzy，andsuperb，thanhasfallenmywayinyears。\"
MissAdamsmadeauselessmovementtowardescape。TheRosschinstuckfirm。\"Idon’twanttoannoyyou，MissAdams，but，byheck，ifitcomestothatyou’llhavetobeannoyed。AndI’llhavetohavemysay。Thispalm—ticklin’slobofaFrenchmanoughttobekickedofftheplaceandifyou’llsaytheword，offhegoes。ButIdon’twanttodothewrongthing。You’vegottoshowapreference。I’mgettin’
aroundtothepoint，Miss——MissWillie，inmyownbrickfashion。I’vestoodaboutallIcanstandtheselasttwodaysandsomethin’sgottohappen。Thesuspensehereaboutsisenoughtohangasheepherder。
MissWillie\"——helassooedherhandbymainforce——\"justsaytheword。
Youneedsomebodytotakeyourpartallyourlifelong。Willyoumar——\"
\"Supper，\"remarkedGeorge，tersely，fromthekitchendoor。
MissAdamshurriedaway。
Rossturnedangrily。\"You——\"
\"Ihavebeenrevolvingitinmyhead，\"saidGeorge。
Hebroughtthecoffeepotforwardheavily。Thenbravelythebigplatterofporkandbeans。Thensomberlythepotatoes。Thenprofoundlythebiscuits。\"Ihavebeenrevolvingitinmymind。
Thereain’tnousewaitin’anylongerforSwengalley。Mightaswelleatnow。\"
>Frommyexcellentvantage—pointonthecouchIwatchedtheprogressofthatmeal。Ross，muddled，glowering，disappointed；Etienne，eternallyblandishing，attentive，ogling；MissAdams，nervous，pickingatherfood，hesitantaboutansweringquestions，almosthysterical；
nowandthenthesolid，flittingshadowofthecook，passingbehindtheirbackslikeaDreadnaughtinafog。
Iusedtoownaclockwhichgurgledinitsthroatthreeminutesbeforeitstruckthehour。Iknow，therefore，theslowfreightofAnticipation。ForIhaveawakenedatthreeinthemorning，heardtheclockgurgle，andwaitedthosethreeminutesforthethreestrokesI
knewweretocome。~Alors~。InRoss’sranchhousethatnighttheslowfreightofClimaxwhistledinthedistance。
Etiennebeganitaftersupper。MissAclamshadsuddenlydisplayedalivelyinterestinthekitchenlayoutandIcouldseeherinthere，chattingbrightlyatGeorge——notwithhim——thewhileheduckedhisheadandrattledhispans。
\"Myfren’，\"saidEtienne，exhalingalargecloudfromhiscigaretteandpattingRosslightlyontheshoulderwithabediamondedhandwhich，hunglimpfromayardormoreofbonyarm，\"IseeImus’befrankwithyou。Firs’，becausewearerivals；second，becauseyoutakethesematterssoserious。I——IamFrenchman。Ilovethewomen\"
——hethrewbackhiscurls，baredhisyellowteeth，andblewanunsavorykisstowardthekitchen。\"Itis，Isuppose，atraitofmynation。AllFrenchmenlovethewomen——prettywomen。Now，look：
HereIam!\"Hespreadouthisarms。\"Coldoutside!Idetes’thecol—l—l!Snow!Iabominatethemees—ser—rhablesnow!Twomen!
This——\"pointingtome——\"an’this!\"Pointingto’Ross。\"Iamdistracted!FortwowholedaysIstan’atthewindowan’tearmy’air!Iamnervous，upset，pr—r—ro—foun’lydistressinsidemy’ead!
An’suddenly——be’old!Awoman，anice，pretty，charming，innocen’
youngwoman!I，naturally，rejoice。Ibecomemyselfagain——gay，light—’earted，\"appy。Iaddressmyselftomademoiselle；itpassesthetime。That，m’sieu’，iswotthewomenarefor——passthetime!
Entertainment——likethemusic，likethewine!
\"Theyappealtothemood，thecaprice，thetemperamen’。Toplaywiththeeswoman，followherthroughherhumor，pursueher——ah!thatisthemos’delightfulwaytosen’thehoursabouttheirbusiness。\"
Rossbangedthetable。\"Shutup，youmiserableyellerpup!\"heroared。\"Iobjecttoyourpursuin’anythingoranybodyinmyhouse。
Now，youlistentome，you——\"Hepickeduptheboxofstogiesanduseditonthetableasanemphasizer。Thenoiseofitawoketheattentionofthegirlinthekitchen。Unheeded，shecreptintotheroom。\"Idon’tknowanythingaboutyourFrenchwaysoflovemakin’an’
Idon’tcare。Inmysectionofthecountry，it’sthebestmanwins。
AndI’mthebestmanhere，anddon’tyouforgetit!Thisgirl’sgoin’
tobemine。Thereain’tg’oingtobeanyplaying，orphilandering，orpalmreadingaboutit。I’vemadeupmymindI’llhavethisgirl，andthatsettlesit。Mywordisthelawinthisnecko’thewoods。
She’smine，andassoonasshesaysshe’smine，youpullout。\"Theboxmadeonefinal，tremendouspunctuationpoint。
Etienne’sbravadowasunruffled。\"Ah!thatisnowaytowinawoman，\"
hesmiled，easily。\"Imakeprophecyyouwillneverwin’erthatway。
No。Nottheeswoman。Shemus’beplayedalongan’thenkeessed，thischarming，deliciouslittlecreature。Onekees!An’thenyou’aveher。\"Againhedisplayedhisunpleasantteeth。\"ImakeyouabetI
willkeesher——\"
Asacheerfulchroniclerofdeedsdonewell，itjoysmetorelatethatthehandwhichfelluponEtienne’samorouslipswasnothisown。
Therewasonesuddensound，asofamulekickingalathfence，andthen——throughtheswingingdoorsofoblivionforEtienne。
Ihadseenthisblowdelivered。Itwasanaloof，unstudied，almostabsent—mindedaffair。Ihadthoughtthecookwasrehearsingthepropermethodofturningaflapjack。
Silently，lostinthought，hestoodtherescratchinghishead。Thenhebeganrollingdownhissleeves。
\"You’dbettergetyourthingson，Miss，andwe’llgetoutofhere，\"
hedecided。\"Wrapupwarm。\"
Iheardherheavealittlesighofreliefasshewenttogethercloak，sweater，andhat。
Rossjumpedtohisfeet，andsaid：\"George，whatareyougoin’
todo？\"
George，whohadbeenheadedinmydirection，slowlyswivelledaroundandfacedhisemployer。\"Bein’acampcook，Iain’tover—burdenedwithhosses，\"Georgeenlightenedus。\"Therefore，Iamgoingtotrytoborrowthisfeller’shere。\"
Forthefirsttimeinfourdaysmysoulgaveagenuinecheer。\"Ifit’sforLochinvarpurposes，goasfarasyoulike，\"Isaid，grandly。
Thecookstudiedmeamoment，asiftryingtofindaninsultinmywords。\"No，\"hereplied。\"It’sformineandtheyounglady’spurposes，andwe’llgoonlythreemiles——toHicksville。Nowletmetellyousomethin’，Ross。\"SuddenlyIwasconfrontedwiththecook’schunkybackandIheardalow，curt，carryingvoiceshootthroughtheroomatmyhost。GeorgehadwheeledjustasRossstartedtospeak。
\"You’renutty。That’swhat’sthematterwithyou。Youcan’tstandthesnow。You’regettingnervouser，andnuttiereveryday。ThatandthisDago\"——hejerkedathumbatthehalf—deadFrenchmaninthecorner——\"hasgotyoutothepointwhereIthoughtIbetterhornin。
IgottorevolvingitaroundinmymindandIseenifsomethin’
wasn’tdone，anddonesoon，there’dbemurderaroundhereandmaybe\"
——hisheadgaveanimperceptiblelisttowardthegirl’sroom——\"worse。\"
Hestopped，butheheldupastubbyfingertokeepanyoneelsefromspeaking。Thenheplowedslowlythroughthedriftofhisideas。
\"Aboutthisherewoman。Iknowyou，Ross，andIknowwhatyoureelythinkaboutwomen。Ifshehadn’thappenedinheredurin’thisheresnow，you’dneverhavegiventwothoughtstothewholewomanquestion。
Likewise，whenthestormclears，andyouandtheboysgohustlin’out，thisherewholebusiness’llclearoutofyourheadandyouwon’tthinkofaskirtagainuntilKingdomCome。Justbecauseo’thissnowhere，don’tforgetyou’relivingintheselfsameworldyouwasinfourdaysago。Andyou’rethesameman，too。Now，what’stheuseo’
gettingallsnarledupoverfourdaysofstickin’inthehouse？Thatthere’swhatIbeenrevolvin’inmymindandthishere’sthedecisionI’vecometo。\"
Heploddedtothedoorandshoutedtooneoftheranchhandstosaddlemyhorse。
Rosslitastogyandstoodthoughtfulinthemiddleoftheroom。Thenhebegan：\"I’veadurngoodnotion，George，toknockyourconfoundedheadoffandthrowyouintothatsnowbank，if——\"
\"You’rewrong，mister。Thatain’tadurnedgoodnotionyou’vegot。
It’sdurnedbad。Lookhere!\"Hepointedsteadilyoutofdoorsuntilwewerebothforcedtofollowhisfinger。\"You’reinhereformore’naweekyet。\"Afterallowingthisfacttosinkin，hebarkedoutatRoss：\"Canyoucook？\"Thenatme：\"Canyoucook？\"ThenhelookedatthewreckofEtienneandsniffed。
TherewasanembarrassingsilenceasRossandIthoughtsolemnlyofafoodlessweek。
\"Ifyoujustusehosssense，\"concludedGeorge，\"anddon’tgofortohurtmyfeelin’s，allIwanttodoistotakethisyounggaldowntoHicksville；andthenI’llheadbackhereandcookferyou。\"
ThehorseandMissAdamsarrivedsimultaneously，bothofthemveryseriousandquiet。Thehorsebecauseheknewwhathehadbeforehiminthatweather；thegirlbecauseofwhatshehadleftbehind。
ThenallatonceIawoketoarealizationofwhatthecookwasdoing。
\"MyGod，man!\"Icried，\"aren’tyouafraidtogooutinthatsnow？\"
BehindmybackIheardRossmutter，\"Nothim。\"
Georgeliftedthegirldaintilyupbehindthesaddle，drewonhisgloves，puthisfootinthestirrup，andturnedtoinspectmeleisurely。
AsIpassedslowlyinhisreview，Isawinmymind’seyethealgebraicequationofSnow，theequalssign，andtheanswerinthemanbeforeme。
\"Snowismylastname，\"saidGeorge。HeswungintothesaddleandtheystartedcautiouslyoutintothedarkeningswirloffreshnewcurrencyjustissuingfromtheSnowdropMint。Thegirl，tokeepherplace，clunghappilytothesturdyfigureofthecampcook。
IbroughtthreethingsawayfromRossCurtis’sranchhouse——yes，four。Onewastheappreciationofsnow，whichIhavesohumblytriedheretorender；（2）wasacollarbone，ofwhichIamextracareful；（3）wasamemoryofwhatitistoeatveryextremelybadfoodforaweek；and（4）wasthecauseof（3）alittlenotedeliveredattheendoftheweekandhand—paintedinbluepencilonasheetofmeatpaper。
\"Icannotcomebacktheretothattherejob。Mrs。Snowsayno，George。Ibeenrevolvin’itinmymind；considerin’circumstancesshe’sright。\"