Amaterialrefuge。Hehadnothing。Hehadnotevenamoralrefuge——therefugeofconfidence。Towhomcouldhegowiththistale——inallthisgreat,greatland?
Razumovstampedhisfoot——andunderthesoftcarpetofsnowfeltthehardgroundofRussia,inanimate,cold,inert,likeasullenandtragicmotherhidingherfaceunderawinding—sheet——hisnativesoil!——hisveryown——withoutafireside,withoutaheart!
Hecasthiseyesupwardsandstoodamazed。Thesnowhadceasedtofall,andnow,asifbyamiracle,hesawabovehisheadtheclearblackskyofthenorthernwinter,decoratedwiththesumptuousfiresofthestars。Itwasacanopyfitfortheresplendentpurityofthesnows。
Razumovreceivedanalmostphysicalimpressionofendlessspaceandofcountlessmillions。
HerespondedtoitwiththereadinessofaRussianwhoisborntoaninheritanceofspaceandnumbers。Underthesumptuousimmensityofthesky,thesnowcoveredtheendlessforests,thefrozenrivers,theplainsofanimmensecountry,obliteratingthelandmarks,theaccidentsoftheground,levellingeverythingunderitsuniformwhiteness,likeamonstrousblankpageawaitingtherecordofaninconceivablehistory。ItcoveredthepassivelandwithitslivesofcountlesspeoplelikeZiemianitchanditshandfulofagitatorslikethisHaldin——murderingfoolishly。
Itwasasortofsacredinertia。Razumovfeltarespectforit。
Avoiceseemedtocrywithinhim,\"Don’ttouchit。\"Itwasaguaranteeofduration,ofsafety,whilethetravailofmaturingdestinywenton——aworknotofrevolutionswiththeirpassionatelevityofactionandtheirshiftingimpulses——butofpeace。Whatitneededwasnottheconflictingaspirationsofapeople,butawillstrongandone:itwantednotthebabbleofmanyvoices,butaman——strongandone!
Razumovstoodonthepointofconversion。Hewasfascinatedbyitsapproach,byitsoverpoweringlogic。Foratrainofthoughtisneverfalse。Thefalsehoodliesdeepinthenecessitiesofexistence,insecretfearsandhalf—formedambitions,inthesecretconfidencecombinedwithasecretmistrustofourselves,intheloveofhopeandthedreadofuncertaindays。
InRussia,thelandofspectralideasanddisembodiedaspirations,manybravemindshaveturnedawayatlastfromthevainandendlessconflicttotheonegreathistoricalfactoftheland。Theyturnedtoautocracyforthepeaceoftheirpatrioticconscienceasawearyunbeliever,touchedbygrace,turnstothefaithofhisfathersfortheblessingofspiritualrest。LikeotherRussiansbeforehim,Razumov,inconflictwithhimself,feltthetouchofgraceuponhisforehead。
\"Haldinmeansdisruption,\"hethoughttohimself,beginningtowalkagain。\"Whatishewithhisindignation,withhistalkofbondage——withhistalkofGod’sjustice?Allthatmeansdisruption。Betterthatthousandsshouldsufferthanthatapeopleshouldbecomeadisintegratedmass,helplesslikedustinthewind。Obscurantismisbetterthanthelightofincendiarytorches。Theseedgerminatesinthenight。Outofthedarksoilspringstheperfectplant。Butavolcaniceruptionissterile,theruinofthefertileground。AndamI,wholovemycountry——whohavenothingbutthattoloveandputmyfaithin——amItohavemyfuture,perhapsmyusefulness,ruinedbythissanguinaryfanatic?\"
ThegraceenteredintoRazumov。Hebelievednowinthemanwhowouldcomeattheappointedtime。
Whatisathrone?Afewpiecesofwoodupholsteredinvelvet。
Butathroneisaseatofpowertoo。Theformofgovernmentistheshapeofatool——aninstrument。Buttwentythousandbladdersinflatedbythenoblestsentimentsandjostlingagainsteachotherintheairareamiserableincumbranceofspace,holdingnopower,possessingnowill,havingnothingtogive。
Hewentonthus,heedlessoftheway,holdingadiscoursewithhimselfwithextraordinaryabundanceandfacility。Generallyhisphrasescametohimslowly,afteraconsciousandpainstakingwooing。Somesuperiorpowerhadinspiredhimwithaflowofmasterlyargumentascertainconvertedsinnersbecomeoverwhelminglyloquacious。
Hefeltanaustereexultation。
\"Whataretheluridlysmokylucubrationsofthatfellowtothecleargraspofmyintellect?\"hethought。\"Isnotthismycountry?HaveInotgotfortymillionbrothers?\"heaskedhimself,unanswerablyvictoriousinthesilenceofhisbreast。
AndthefearfulthrashinghehadgiventheinanimateZiemianitchseemedtohimasignofintimateunion,apatheticallyseverenecessityofbrotherlylove。\"No!IfImustsufferletmeatleastsufferformyconvictions,notforacrimemyreason——mycoolsuperiorreason——rejects。\"
Heceasedtothinkforamoment。Thesilenceinhisbreastwascomplete。Buthefeltasuspiciousuneasiness,suchaswemayexperiencewhenweenteranunlightedstrangeplace——theirrationalfeelingthatsomethingmayjumpuponusinthedark——theabsurddreadoftheunseen。
Ofcoursehewasfarfrombeingamoss—grownreactionary。
Everythingwasnotforthebest。Despoticbureaucracy……
abuses……corruption……andsoon。Capablemenwerewanted。
Enlightenedintelligences。Devotedhearts。Butabsolutepowershouldbepreserved——thetoolreadyfortheman——forthegreatautocratofthefuture。Razumovbelievedinhim。Thelogicofhistorymadehimunavoidable。Thestateofthepeopledemandedhim,\"Whatelse?\"heaskedhimselfardently,\"couldmoveallthatmassinonedirection?Nothingcould。Nothingbutasinglewill。\"
Hewaspersuadedthathewassacrificinghispersonallongingsofliberalism——rejectingtheattractiveerrorforthesternRussiantruth。\"That’spatriotism,\"heobservedmentally,andadded,\"There’snostoppingmidwayonthatroad,\"andthenremarkedtohimself,\"Iamnotacoward。\"
AndagaintherewasadeadsilenceinRazumov’sbreast。Hewalkedwithloweredhead,makingroomfornoone。Hewalkedslowlyandhisthoughtsreturningspokewithinhimwithsolemnslowness。
\"WhatisthisHaldin?AndwhatamI?Onlytwograinsofsand。
Butagreatmountainismadeupofjustsuchinsignificantgrains。Andthedeathofamanorofmanymenisaninsignificantthing。Yetwecombatacontagiouspestilence。
DoIwanthisdeath?No!IwouldsavehimifIcould——butnoonecandothat——heisthewitheredmemberwhichmustbecutoff。
IfImustperishthroughhim,letmeatleastnotperishwithhim,andassociatedagainstmywillwithhissombrefollythatunderstandsnothingeitherofmenorthings。WhyshouldIleaveafalsememory?\"
Itpassedthroughhismindthattherewasnooneintheworldwhocaredwhatsortofmemoryheleftbehindhim。Heexclaimedtohimselfinstantly,\"Perishvainlyforafalsehood!……Whatamiserablefate!\"
Hewasnowinamoreanimatedpartofthetown。Hedidnotremarkthecrashoftwocollidingsledgesclosetothecurb。
Thedriverofonebellowedtearfullyathisfellow——
\"Oh,thouvilewretch!\"
Thishoarseyell,letoutnearlyinhisear,disturbedRazumov。
Heshookhisheadimpatientlyandwentonlookingstraightbeforehim。Suddenlyonthesnow,stretchedonhisbackrightacrosshispath,hesawHaldin,solid,distinct,real,withhisinvertedhandsoverhiseyes,cladinabrownclose—fittingcoatandlongboots。Hewaslyingoutofthewayalittle,asthoughhehadselectedthatplaceonpurpose。Thesnowroundhimwasuntrodden。
ThishallucinationhadsuchasolidityofaspectthatthefirstmovementofRazumovwastoreachforhispockettoassurehimselfthatthekeyofhisroomswasthere。Buthecheckedtheimpulsewithadisdainfulcurveofhislips。Heunderstood。Histhought,concentratedintenselyonthefigureleftlyingonhisbed,hadculminatedinthisextraordinaryillusionofthesight。
Razumovtackledthephenomenoncalmly。Withasternface,withoutacheckandgazingfarbeyondthevision,hewalkedon,experiencingnothingbutaslighttighteningofthechest。
Afterpassingheturnedhisheadforaglance,andsawonlytheunbrokentrackofhisfootstepsovertheplacewherethebreastofthephantomhadbeenlying。
Razumovwalkedonandafteralittletimewhisperedhiswondertohimself。
\"Exactlyasifalive!Seemedtobreathe!Andrightinmywaytoo!
Ihavehadanextraordinaryexperience。\"
Hemadeafewstepsandmutteredthroughhissetteeth——
\"Ishallgivehimup。\"
Thenforsometwentyyardsormoreallwasblank。Hewrappedhiscloakcloserroundhim。Hepulledhiscapwellforwardoverhiseyes。
\"Betray。Agreatword。Whatisbetrayal?Theytalkofamanbetrayinghiscountry,hisfriends,hissweetheart。Theremustbeamoralbondfirst。Allamancanbetrayishisconscience。
Andhowismyconscienceengagedhere;bywhatbondofcommonfaith,ofcommonconviction,amIobligedtoletthatfanaticalidiotdragmedownwithhim?Onthecontrary——everyobligationoftruecourageistheotherway。\"
Razumovlookedroundfromunderhiscap。
\"Whatcantheprejudiceoftheworldreproachmewith?HaveI
provokedhisconfidence?No!HaveIbyasingleword,look,orgesturegivenhimreasontosupposethatIacceptedhistrustinme?No!ItistruethatIconsentedtogoandseehisZiemianitch。Well,Ihavebeentoseehim。AndIbrokeastickonhisbacktoo——thebrute。\"
Somethingseemedtoturnoverinhisheadbringinguppermostasingularlyhard,clearfacetofhisbrain。
\"Itwouldbebetter,however,\"hereflectedwithaquitedifferentmentalaccent,\"tokeepthatcircumstancealtogethertomyself。\"
Hehadpassedbeyondtheturnleadingtohislodgings,andhadreachedawideandfashionablestreet。Someshopswerestillopen,andalltherestaurants。Lightsfellonthepavementwheremeninexpensivefurcoats,withhereandtheretheelegantfigureofawoman,walkedwithanairofleisure。Razumovlookedatthemwiththecontemptofanausterebelieverforthefrivolouscrowd。Itwastheworld——thoseofficers,dignitaries,menoffashion,officials,membersoftheYachtClub。Theeventofthemorningaffectedthemall。Whatwouldtheysayiftheyknewwhatthisstudentinacloakwasgoingtodo?
\"NotoneofthemiscapableoffeelingandthinkingasdeeplyasIcan。Howmanyofthemcouldaccomplishanactofconscience?\"
Razumovlingeredinthewell—lightedstreet。Hewasfirmlydecided。Indeed,itcouldhardlybecalledadecision。Hehadsimplydiscoveredwhathehadmeanttodoallalong。Andyethefelttheneedofsomeothermind’ssanction。
Withsomethingresemblinganguishhesaidtohimself——
\"Iwanttobeunderstood。\"TheuniversalaspirationwithallitsprofoundandmelancholymeaningassailedheavilyRazumov,who,amongsteightymillionsofhiskithandkin,hadnohearttowhichhecouldopenhimself。
Theattorneywasnottobethoughtof。Hedespisedthelittleagentofchicanetoomuch。Onecouldnotgoandlayone’sconsciencebeforethepolicemanatthecorner。NeitherwasRazumovanxioustogotothechiefofhisdistrict’spolice——acommon—lookingpersonwhomheusedtoseesometimesinthestreetinashabbyuniformandwithasmoulderingcigarettestucktohislowerlip。\"Hewouldbeginbylockingmeupmostprobably。Atanyrate,heiscertaintogetexcitedandcreateanawfulcommotion,\"thoughtRazumovpracticallyAnactofconsciencemustbedonewithoutwarddignity。
Razumovlongeddesperatelyforawordofadvice,formoralsupport。Whoknowswhattruelonelinessis——nottheconventionalword,butthenakedterror?Tothelonelythemselvesitwearsamask。Themostmiserableoutcasthugssomememoryorsomeillusion。Nowandthenafatalconjunctionofeventsmaylifttheveilforaninstant。Foraninstantonly。
Nohumanbeingcouldbearasteadyviewofmoralsolitudewithoutgoingmad。
Razumovhadreachedthatpointofvision。Toescapefromitheembracedforawholeminutethedeliriouspurposeofrushingtohislodgingsandflinginghimselfonhiskneesbythesideofthebedwiththedarkfigurestretchedonit;topouroutafullconfessioninpassionatewordsthatwouldstirthewholebeingofthatmantoitsinnermostdepths;thatwouldendinembracesandtears;inanincrediblefellowshipofsouls——suchastheworldhadneverseen。Itwassublime!
Inwardlyheweptandtrembledalready。Buttothecasualeyesthatwerecastuponhimhewasawarethatheappearedasatranquilstudentinacloak,outforaleisurelystroll。
Henoted,too,thesidelong,brilliantglanceofaprettywoman——withadelicatehead,andcoveredinthehairyskinsofwildbeastsdowntoherfeet,likeafrailandbeautifulsavage——whichrestedforamomentwithasortofmockingtendernessonthedeepabstractionofthatgood—lookingyoungman。
SuddenlyRazumovstoodstill。Theglimpseofapassinggreywhisker,caughtandlostinthesameinstant,hadevokedthecompleteimageofPrinceK———,themanwhooncehadpressedhishandasnoothermanhadpressedit——afaintbutlingeringpressurelikeasecretsign,likeahalf—unwillingcaress。
AndRazumovmarvelledathimself。Whydidhenotthinkofhimbefore!
\"Asenator,adignitary,agreatpersonage,theveryman——He!\"
AstrangesofteningemotioncameoverRazumov——madehiskneesshakealittle。Herepresseditwithanew—bornausterity。Allthatsentimentwasperniciousnonsense。Hecouldn’tbequickenough;andwhenhegotintoasledgeheshoutedtothedriver——
\"TotheK———Palace。Geton——you!Fly!\"Thestartledmoujik,beardeduptotheverywhitesofhiseyes,answeredobsequiously——
\"Ihear,yourhighNobility。\"
ItwasluckyforRazumovthatPrinceK———wasnotamanoftimidcharacter。OnthedayofMr。deP———’smurderanextremealarmanddespondencyprevailedinthehighofficialspheres。
PrinceK———,sittingsadlyaloneinhisstudy,wastoldbyhisalarmedservantsthatamysteriousyoungmanhadforcedhiswayintothehall,refusedtotellhisnameandthenatureofhisbusiness,andwouldnotmovefromtheretillhehadseenhisExcellencyinprivate。Insteadoflockinghimselfupandtelephoningforthepolice,asnineoutoftenhighpersonageswouldhavedonethatevening,thePrincegavewaytocuriosityandcamequietlytothedoorofhisstudy。
Inthehall,thefrontdoorstandingwideopen,herecognisedatonceRazumov,paleasdeath,hiseyesblazing,andsurroundedbyperplexedlackeys。
ThePrincewasvexedbeyondmeasure,andevenindignant。Buthishumaneinstinctsandasubtlesenseofself—respectcouldnotallowhimtoletthisyoungmanbethrownoutintothestreetbybasemenials。Heretreatedunseenintohisroom,andafteralittleranghisbell。Razumovheardinthehallanominouslyraisedharshvoicesayingsomewherefaraway——
\"Showthegentlemaninhere。\"
Razumovwalkedinwithoutatremor。Hefelthimselfinvulnerable——raisedfarabovetheshallownessofcommonjudgment。ThoughhesawthePrincelookingathimwithblackdispleasure,thelucidityofhismind,ofwhichhewasveryconscious,gavehimanextraordinaryassurance。Hewasnotaskedtositdown。
Halfanhourlatertheyappearedinthehalltogether。Thelackeysstoodup,andthePrince,movingwithdifficultyonhisgoutyfeet,washelpedintohisfurs。Thecarriagehadbeenorderedbefore。Whenthegreatdoubledoorwasflungopenwithacrash,Razumov,whohadbeenstandingsilentwithalostgazebutwitheveryfacultyintenselyonthealert,heardthePrince’svoice——
\"Yourarm,youngman。\"
Themobile,superficialmindoftheex—Guardsofficer,manofshowymissions,experiencedinnothingbuttheartsofgallantintrigueandworldlysuccess,hadbeenequallyimpressedbythemoreobviousdifficultiesofsuchasituationandbyRazumov’squietdignityinstatingthem。
Hehadsaid,\"No。UponthewholeIcan’tcondemnthestepyouventuredtotakebycomingtomewithyourstory。Itisnotanaffairforpoliceunderstrappers。Thegreatestimportanceisattachedto……Setyourmindatrest。Ishallseeyouthroughthismostextraordinaryanddifficultsituation。\"
ThenthePrincerosetoringthebell,andRazumov,makingashortbow,hadsaidwithdeference——
\"Ihavetrustedmyinstinct。AyoungmanhavingnoclaimuponanybodyintheworldhasinanhouroftrialinvolvinghisdeepestpoliticalconvictionsturnedtoanillustriousRussian——that’sall。\"
ThePrincehadexclaimedhastily——
\"Youhavedonewell。\"
Inthecarriage——itwasasmallbroughamonsleighrunners——
Razumovbrokethesilenceinavoicethattrembledslightly。
\"Mygratitudesurpassesthegreatnessofmypresumption。\"
Hegasped,feelingunexpectedlyinthedarkamomentarypressureonhisarm。
\"Youhavedonewell,\"repeatedthePrince。
WhenthecarriagestoppedthePrincemurmuredtoRazumov,whohadneverventuredasinglequestion——
\"ThehouseofGeneralT———。\"
Inthemiddleofthesnow—coveredroadwayblazedagreatbonfire。
SomeCossacks,thebridlesoftheirhorsesoverthearm,werewarmingthemselvesaround。Twosentriesstoodatthedoor,severalgendarmesloungedunderthegreatcarriagegateway,andonthefirst—floorlandingtwoorderliesroseandstoodatattention。RazumovwalkedatthePrince’selbow。
Asurprisingquantityofhot—houseplantsinpotscumberedtheflooroftheante—room。Servantscameforward。Ayoungmanincivilianclothesarrivedhurriedly,waswhisperedto,bowedlow,andexclaimingzealously,\"Certainly——thisminute,\"fledwithinsomewhere。ThePrincesignedtoRazumov。
Theypassedthroughasuiteofreception—roomsallbarelylitandoneofthempreparedfordancing。ThewifeoftheGeneralhadputoffherparty。Anatmosphereofconsternationpervadedtheplace。
ButtheGeneral’sownroom,withheavysombrehangings,twomassivedesks,anddeeparmchairs,hadallthelightsturnedon。Thefootmanshutthedoorbehindthemandtheywaited。
TherewasacoalfireinanEnglishgrate;Razumovhadneverbeforeseensuchafire;andthesilenceoftheroomwaslikethesilenceofthegrave;perfect,measureless,foreventheclockonthemantelpiecemadenosound。Fillingacorner,onablackpedestal,stoodaquarter—life—sizesmooth—limbedbronzeofanadolescentfigure,running。ThePrinceobservedinanundertone—
\"Spontini’s。’FlightofYouth。’Exquisite。\"
\"Admirable,\"assentedRazumovfaintly。
Theysaidnothingmoreafterthis,thePrincesilentwithhisgrandair,Razumovstaringatthestatue。Hewasworriedbyasensationresemblingthegnawingofhunger。
Hedidnotturnwhenheheardaninnerdoorflyopen,andaquickfootstep,muffledonthecarpet。
ThePrince’svoiceimmediatelyexclaimed,thickwithexcitement——
\"Wehavegothim——_cemiserable。_Aworthyyoungmancametome——
No!It’sincredible……\"
Razumovheldhisbreathbeforethebronzeasifexpectingacrash。Behindhisbackavoicehehadneverheardbeforeinsistedpolitely——
\"_Asseyez—vousdonc_。\"
ThePrincealmostshrieked,\"_Maiscomprenez—vous,moncher!
L’assassin!_themurderer——wehavegothim……\"
Razumovspunround。TheGeneral’ssmoothbigcheeksrestedonthestiffcollarofhisuniform。HemusthavebeenalreadylookingatRazumov,becausethatlastsawthepaleblueeyesfastenedonhimcoldly。
ThePrincefromachairwavedanimpressivehand。
\"ThisisamosthonourableyoungmanwhomProvidenceitself……Mr。Razumov。\"
TheGeneralacknowledgedtheintroductionbyfrowningatRazumov,whodidnotmaketheslightestmovement。
SittingdownbeforehisdesktheGenerallistenedwithcompressedlips。
Itwasimpossibletodetectanysignofemotiononhisface。
Razumovwatchedtheimmobilityofthefleshyprofile。Butitlastedonlyamoment,tillthePrincehadfinished;andwhentheGeneralturnedtotheprovidentialyoungman,hisfloridcomplexion,theblue,unbelievingeyesandthebrightwhiteflashofanautomaticsmilehadanairofjovial,carelesscruelty。Heexpressednowonderattheextraordinarystory——nopleasureorexcitement——noincredulityeither。Hebetrayednosentimentwhatever。Onlywithapolitenessalmostdeferentialsuggestedthat\"thebirdmighthaveflownwhileMr。——Mr。Razumovwasrunningaboutthestreets。\"
Razumovadvancedtothemiddleoftheroomandsaid,\"ThedoorislockedandIhavethekeyinmypocket。\"
Hisloathingforthemanwasintense。Ithadcomeuponhimsounawaresthathefelthehadnotkeptitoutofhisvoice。TheGenerallookedupathimthoughtfully,andRazumovgrinned。
AllthiswentovertheheadofPrinceK———seatedinadeeparmchair,verytiredandimpatient。
\"AstudentcalledHaldin,\"saidtheGeneralthoughtfully。
Razumovceasedtogrin。
\"Thatishisname,\"hesaidunnecessarilyloud。\"VictorVictorovitchHaldin——astudent。\"
TheGeneralshiftedhispositionalittle。
\"Howishedressed?Wouldyouhavethegoodnesstotellme?\"
RazumovangrilydescribedHaldin’sclothinginafewjerkywords。
TheGeneralstaredallthetime,thenaddressingthePrince——
\"Wewerenotwithoutsomeindications,\"hesaidinFrench。\"A
goodwomanwhowasinthestreetdescribedtoussomebodywearingadressofthesortasthethrowerofthesecondbomb。WehavedetainedherattheSecretariat,andeveryoneinaTcherkesscoatwecouldlayourhandsonhasbeenbroughttohertolookat。Shekeptoncrossingherselfandshakingherheadatthem。
Itwasexasperating……\"HeturnedtoRazumov,andinRussian,withfriendlyreproach——
\"Takeachair,Mr。Razumov——do。Whyareyoustanding?\"
RazumovsatdowncarelesslyandlookedattheGeneral。
\"Thisgoggle—eyedimbecileunderstandsnothing,\"hethought。
ThePrincebegantospeakloftily。
\"Mr。Razumovisayoungmanofconspicuousabilities。Ihaveitatheartthathisfutureshouldnot……\"
\"Certainly,\"interruptedtheGeneral,withamovementofthehand。\"Hasheanyweaponsonhim,doyouthink,Mr。Razumov?\"
TheGeneralemployedagentlemusicalvoice。Razumovansweredwithsuppressedirritation——
\"No。Butmyrazorsarelyingabout——youunderstand。\"
TheGeneralloweredhisheadapprovingly。
\"Precisely。\"
ThentothePrince,explainingcourteously——
\"Wewantthatbirdalive。Itwillbethedevilifwecan’tmakehimsingalittlebeforewearedonewithhim。\"
Thegrave—likesilenceoftheroomwithitsmuteclockfelluponthepolitemodulationsofthisterriblephrase。ThePrince,hiddeninthechair,madenosound。
TheGeneralunexpectedlydevelopedathought。
\"Fidelitytomenacedinstitutionsonwhichdependthesafetyofathroneandofapeopleisnochild’splay。Weknowthat,_monPrince,_and——_tenez_——\"hewentonwithasortofflatteringharshness,\"Mr。Razumovherebeginstounderstandthattoo。\"
HiseyeswhichheturneduponRazumovseemedtobestartingoutofhishead。ThisgrotesquenessofaspectnolongershockedRazumov。Hesaidwithgloomyconviction——
\"Haldinwillneverspeak。\"
\"Thatremainstobeseen,\"mutteredtheGeneral。
\"Iamcertain,\"insistedRazumov。\"Amanlikethisneverspeaks……DoyouimaginethatIamherefromfear?\"headdedviolently。HefeltreadytostandbyhisopinionofHaldintothelastextremity。
\"Certainlynot,\"protestedtheGeneral,withgreatsimplicityoftone。\"AndIdon’tmindtellingyou,Mr。Razumov,thatifhehadnotcomewithhistaletosuchastaunchandloyalRussianasyou,hewouldhavedisappearedlikeastoneinthewater……
whichwouldhavehadadetestableeffect,\"headded,withabright,cruelsmileunderhisstonystare。\"Soyousee,therecanbenosuspicionofanyfearhere。\"
ThePrinceintervened,lookingatRazumovroundthebackofthearmchair。
\"Nobodydoubtsthemoralsoundnessofyouraction。Beateaseinthatrespect,pray。\"
HeturnedtotheGeneraluneasily。
\"That’swhyIamhere。YoumaybesurprisedwhyIshould……\"
TheGeneralhastenedtointerrupt。
\"Notatall。Extremelynatural。Yousawtheimportance……
\"Yes,\"brokeinthePrince。\"AndIventuretoaskinsistentlythatmineandMr。Razumov’sinterventionshouldnotbecomepublic。Heisayoungmanofpromise——ofremarkableaptitudes。\"
\"Ihaven’tadoubtofit,\"murmuredtheGeneral。\"Heinspiresconfidence。\"
\"Allsortsofperniciousviewsaresowidespreadnowadays——theytaintsuchunexpectedquarters——that,monstrousasitseems,hemightsuffer……Hisstudies……His……\"
TheGeneral,withhiselbowsonthedesk,tookhisheadbetweenhishands。
\"Yes。Yes。Iamthinkingitout……Howlongisitsinceyoulefthimatyourrooms,Mr。Razumov?\"
Razumovmentionedthehourwhichnearlycorrespondedwiththetimeofhisdistractedflightfromthebigslumhouse。HehadmadeuphismindtokeepZiemianitchoutoftheaffaircompletely。Tomentionhimatallwouldmeanimprisonmentforthe\"brightsoul,\"perhapscruelfloggings,andintheendajourneytoSiberiainchains。Razumov,whohadbeatenZiemianitch,feltforhimnowavague,remorsefultenderness。
TheGeneral,givingwayforthefirsttimetohissecretsentiments,exclaimedcontemptuously——
\"Andyousayhecameintomakeyouthisconfidencelikethis——fornothing——_aproposdesbottes_。\"
Razumovfeltdangerintheair。Themercilesssuspicionofdespotismhadspokenopenlyatlast。SuddenfearsealedRazumov’slips。Thesilenceoftheroomresemblednowthesilenceofadeepdungeon,wheretimedoesnotcount,andasuspectpersonissometimesforgottenforever。ButthePrincecametotherescue。
\"ProvidenceitselfhasledthewretchinamomentofmentalaberrationtoseekMr。Razumovonthestrengthofsomeold,utterlymisinterpretedexchangeofideas——somesortofidlespeculativeconversation——monthsago——Iamtold——andcompletelyforgottentillnowbyMr。Razumov。\"
\"Mr。Razumov,\"queriedtheGeneralmeditatively,afterashortsilence,\"doyouoftenindulgeinspeculativeconversation?\"
\"No,Excellency,\"answeredRazumov,coolly,inasuddenaccessofself—confidence。\"Iamamanofdeepconvictions。Crudeopinionsareintheair。Theyarenotalwaysworthcombating。
Buteventhesilentcontemptofaseriousmindmaybemisinterpretedbyheadlongutopists。\"
TheGeneralstaredfrombetweenhishands。PrinceK———
murmured——
\"Aseriousyoungman。_Unespritsuperieur_。\"
\"Iseethat,_moncherPrince_,\"saidtheGeneral。\"Mr。Razumovisquitesafewithme。Iaminterestedinhim。Hehas,itseems,thegreatandusefulqualityofinspiringconfidence。
WhatIwaswonderingatiswhytheothershouldmentionanythingatall——Imeaneventhebarefactalone——ifhisobjectwasonlytoobtaintemporaryshelterforafewhours。For,afterall,nothingwaseasierthantosaynothingaboutitunless,indeed,heweretrying,underacrazymisapprehensionofyourtruesentiments,toenlistyourassistance——eh,Mr。Razumov?\"
ItseemedtoRazumovthatthefloorwasmovingslightly。
Thisgrotesquemaninatightuniformwasterrible。Itwasrightthatheshouldbeterrible。
\"IcanseewhatyourExcellencyhasinyourmind。ButIcanonlyanswerthatIdon’tknowwhy。\"
\"Ihavenothinginmymind,\"murmuredtheGeneral,withgentlesurprise。
\"Iamhisprey——hishelplessprey,\"thoughtRazumov。Thefatiguesandthedisgustsofthatafternoon,theneedtoforget,thefearwhichhecouldnotkeepoff,reawakenedhishateforHaldin。
\"ThenIcan’thelpyourExcellency。Idon’tknowwhathemeant。
IonlyknowtherewasamomentwhenIwishedtokillhim。TherewasalsoamomentwhenIwishedmyselfdead。Isaidnothing。I
wasovercome。Iprovokednoconfidence——Iaskedfornoexplanations——\"
Razumovseemedbesidehimself;buthismindwaslucid。Itwasreallyacalculatedoutburst。
\"Itisratherapity,\"theGeneralsaid,\"thatyoudidnot。
Don’tyouknowatallwhathemeanstodo?\"Razumovcalmeddownandsawanopeningthere。
\"Hetoldmehewasinhopesthatasledgewouldmeethimabouthalfanhouraftermidnightattheseventhlamp—postontheleftfromtheupperendofKarabelnaya。Atanyrate,hemeanttobethereatthattime。Hedidnotevenaskmeforachangeofclothes。\"
\"_Ahvoila_!\"saidtheGeneral,turningtoPrinceKwithanairofsatisfaction。\"Thereisawaytokeepyour_protege_,Mr。
Razumov,quiteclearofanyconnexionwiththeactualarrest。WeshallbereadyforthatgentlemaninKarabelnaya。\"
ThePrinceexpressedhisgratitude。Therewasrealemotioninhisvoice。Razumov,motionless,silent,satstaringatthecarpet。TheGeneralturnedtohim。
\"Halfanhouraftermidnight。Tillthenwehavetodependonyou,Mr。Razumov。Youdon’tthinkheislikelytochangehispurpose?\"
\"HowcanItell?\"saidRazumov。\"Thosemenarenotofthesortthateverchangesitspurpose。\"
\"Whatmendoyoumean?\"
\"Fanaticalloversoflibertyingeneral。LibertywithacapitalL,Excellency。Libertythatmeansnothingprecise。Libertyinwhosenamecrimesarecommitted。\"
TheGeneralmurmured——
\"Idetestrebelsofeverykind。Ican’thelpit。It’smynature!\"
Heclenchedafistandshookit,drawingbackhisarm。\"Theyshallbedestroyed,then。\"
\"Theyhavemadeasacrificeoftheirlivesbeforehand,\"saidRazumovwithmaliciouspleasureandlookingtheGeneralstraightintheface。\"IfHaldindoeschangehispurposeto—night,youmaydependonitthatitwillnotbetosavehislifebyflightinsomeotherway。Hewouldhavethoughtthenofsomethingelsetoattempt。Butthatisnotlikely。\"
TheGeneralrepeatedasiftohimself,\"Theyshallbedestroyed。\"
Razumovassumedanimpenetrableexpression。
ThePrinceexclaimed——
\"Whataterriblenecessity!\"
TheGeneral’sarmwasloweredslowly。
\"Onecomfortthereis。Thatbroodleavesnoposterity。I’vealwayssaidit,oneeffort,pitiless,persistent,steady——andwearedonewiththemforever。\"
Razumovthoughttohimselfthatthismanentrustedwithsomucharbitrarypowermusthavebelievedwhathesaidorelsehecouldnothavegoneonbearingtheresponsibility。
\"Idetestrebels。Thesesubversiveminds!Theseintellectual_debauches_!Myexistencehasbeenbuiltonfidelity。It’safeeling。
TodefenditIamreadytolaydownmylife——andevenmyhonour——ifthatwereneeded。Butpraytellmewhathonourcantherebeasagainstrebels——againstpeoplethatdenyGodHimself——perfectunbelievers!
Brutes。Itishorribletothinkof。\"
DuringthistiradeRazumov,facingtheGeneral,hadnoddedslightlytwice。PrinceK———,standingononesidewithhisgrandair,murmured,castinguphiseyes——
\"_Helas!_\"
Thenloweringhisglanceandwithgreatdecisiondeclared——
\"Thisyoungman,General,isperfectlyfittoapprehendthebearingofyourmemorablewords。\"
TheGeneral’swholeexpressionchangedfromdullresentmenttoperfecturbanity。
\"Iwouldasknow,Mr。Razumov,\"hesaid,\"toreturntohishome。
NotethatIdon’taskMr。Razumovwhetherhehasjustifiedhisabsencetohisguest。Nodoubthedidthissufficiently。ButI
don’task。Mr。Razumovinspiresconfidence。Itisagreatgift。
Ionlysuggestthatamoreprolongedabsencemightawakenthecriminal’ssuspicionsandinducehimperhapstochangehisplans。\"
Heroseandwithascrupulouscourtesyescortedhisvisitorstotheante—roomencumberedwithflower—pots。
RazumovpartedwiththePrinceatthecornerofastreet。Inthecarriagehehadlistenedtospeecheswherenaturalsentimentstruggledwithcaution。EvidentlythePrincewasafraidofencouraginganyhopesoffutureintercourse。Buttherewasatouchoftendernessinthevoiceutteringinthedarktheguardedgeneralphrasesofgoodwill。AndthePrincetoosaid——
\"Ihaveperfectconfidenceinyou,Mr。Razumov。\"
\"Theyall,itseems,haveconfidenceinme,\"thoughtRazumovdully。Hehadanindulgentcontemptforthemansittingshouldertoshoulderwithhimintheconfinedspace。Probablyhewasafraidofsceneswithhiswife。Shewassaidtobeproudandviolent。
Itseemedtohimbizarrethatsecrecyshouldplaysuchalargepartinthecomfortandsafetyoflives。ButhewantedtoputthePrince’smindatease;andwithaproperamountofemphasishesaidthat,beingconsciousofsomesmallabilitiesandconfidentinhispowerofwork,hetrustedhisfuturetohisownexertions。Heexpressedhisgratitudeforthehelpinghand。
Suchdangeroussituationsdidnotoccurtwiceinthecourseofonelife——headded。
\"Andyouhavemetthisonewithafirmnessofmindandcorrectnessoffeelingwhichgivemeahighideaofyourworth,\"
thePrincesaidsolemnly。\"Youhavenowonlytopersevere——topersevere。\"
OngettingoutonthepavementRazumovsawanunglovedhandextendedtohimthroughtheloweredwindowofthebrougham。Itdetainedhisowninitsgraspforamoment,whilethelightofastreetlampfelluponthePrince’slongfaceandold—fashionedgreywhiskers。
\"Ihopeyouareperfectlyreassurednowastotheconsequences……\"
\"AfterwhatyourExcellencyhascondescendedtodoforme,Icanonlyrelyonmyconscience。\"
\"_Adieu_,\"saidthewhiskeredheadwithfeeling。
Razumovbowed。Thebroughamglidedawaywithaslightswishinthesnow——hewasaloneontheedgeofthepavement。
Hesaidtohimselfthattherewasnothingtothinkabout,andbeganwalkingtowardshishome。
Hewalkedquietly。Itwasacommonexperiencetowalkthushometobedafteraneveningspentsomewherewithhisfellowsorinthecheaperseatsofatheatre。Afterhehadgonealittlewaythefamiliarityofthingsgotholdofhim。Nothingwaschanged。Therewasthefamiliarcorner;andwhenheturnedithesawthefamiliardimlightoftheprovisionshopkeptbyaGermanwoman。Therewereloavesofstalebread,bunchesofonionsandstringsofsausagesbehindthesmallwindow—panes。Theywereclosingit。Thesicklylamefellowwhomheknewsowellbysightstaggeredoutintothesnowembracingalargeshutter。
Nothingwouldchange。Therewasthefamiliargatewayyawningblackwithfeebleglimmersmarkingthearchesofthedifferentstaircases。
Thesenseoflife’scontinuitydependedontriflingbodilyimpressions。Thetrivialitiesofdailyexistencewereanarmourforthesoul。AndthisthoughtreinforcedtheinwardquietnessofRazumovashebegantoclimbthestairsfamiliartohisfeetinthedark,withhishandonthefamiliarclammybanister。Theexceptionalcouldnotprevailagainstthematerialcontactswhichmakeonedayresembleanother。To—morrowwouldbelikeyesterday。
Itwasonlyonthestagethattheunusualwasoutwardlyacknowledged。
\"Isuppose,\"thoughtRazumov,\"thatifIhadmadeupmymindtoblowoutmybrainsonthelandingIwouldbegoingupthesestairsasquietlyasIamdoingitnow。What’samantodo?
Whatmustbemustbe。Extraordinarythingsdohappen。Butwhentheyhavehappenedtheyaredonewith。Thus,too,whenthemindismadeup。Thatquestionisdonewith。Andthedailyconcerns,thefamiliaritiesofourthoughtswallowitup——andthelifegoesonasbeforewithitsmysteriousandsecretsidesquiteoutofsight,astheyshouldbe。Lifeisapublicthing。\"
Razumovunlockedhisdoorandtookthekeyout;enteredveryquietlyandboltedthedoorbehindhimcarefully。
Hethought,\"Hehearsme,\"andafterboltingthedoorhestoodstillholdinghisbreath。Therewasnotasound。Hecrossedthebareouterroom,steppingdeliberatelyinthedarkness。Enteringtheother,hefeltalloverhistableforthematchbox。Thesilence,butforthegropingofhishand,wasprofound。Couldthefellowbesleepingsosoundly?
Hestruckalightandlookedatthebed。Haldinwaslyingonhisbackasbefore,onlybothhishandswereunderhishead。
Hiseyeswereopen。Hestaredattheceiling。
Razumovheldthematchup。Hesawtheclear—cutfeatures,thefirmchin,thewhiteforeheadandthetopknotoffairhairagainstthewhitepillow。Therehewas,lyingflatonhisback。
Razumovthoughtsuddenly,\"Ihavewalkedoverhischest。\"
Hecontinuedtostaretillthematchburntitselfout;thenstruckanotherandlitthelampinsilencewithoutlookingtowardsthebedanymore。HehadturnedhisbackonitandwashanginghiscoatonapegwhenheheardHaldinsighprofoundly,thenaskinatiredvoice——
\"Well!Andwhathaveyouarranged?\"
TheemotionwassogreatthatRazumovwasgladtoputhishandsagainstthewall。Adiabolicalimpulsetosay,\"Ihavegivenyouuptothepolice,\"frightenedhimexceedingly。Buthedidnotsaythat。Hesaid,withoutturninground,inamuffledvoice——
\"It’sdone。\"
AgainheheardHaldinsigh。Hewalkedtothetable,satdownwiththelampbeforehim,andonlythenlookedtowardsthebed。
Inthedistantcornerofthelargeroomfarawayfromthelamp,whichwassmallandprovidedwithaverythickchinashade,Haldinappearedlikeadarkandelongatedshape——rigidwiththeimmobilityofdeath。ThisbodyseemedtohavelesssubstancethanitsownphantomwalkedoverbyRazumovinthestreetwhitewithsnow。Itwasmorealarminginitsshadowy,persistentrealitythanthedistinctbutvanishingillusion。
Haldinwasheardagain。
\"Youmusthavehadawalk——suchawalk……\"hemurmureddeprecatingly。\"Thisweather……\"
Razumovansweredwithenergy——
\"Horriblewalk……Anightmareofawalk。\"
Heshudderedaudibly。Haldinsighedoncemore,then——
\"AndsoyouhaveseenZiemianitch——brother?\"
\"I’veseenhim。\"
Razumov,rememberingthetimehehadspentwiththePrince,thoughtitprudenttoadd,\"Ihadtowaitsometime。\"
\"Acharacter——eh?It’sextraordinarywhatasenseofthenecessityoffreedomthereisinthatman。Andhehassayingstoo——simple,tothepoint,suchasonlythepeoplecaninventintheirroughsagacity。Acharacterthat……\"
\"I,youunderstand,haven’thadmuchopportunity……\"Razumovmutteredthroughhisteeth。
Haldincontinuedtostareattheceiling。
\"Yousee,brother,Ihavebeenagooddealinthathouseoflate。Iusedtotaketherebooks——leaflets。Notafewofthepoorpeoplewholivetherecanread。And,yousee,theguestsforthefeastoffreedommustbesoughtforinbywaysandhedges。
Thetruthis,Ihavealmostlivedinthathouseoflate。Isleptsometimesinthestable。Thereisastable……\"
\"That’swhereIhadmyinterviewwithZiemianitch,\"interruptedRazumovgently。Amockingspiritenteredintohimandheadded,\"Itwassatisfactoryinasense。Icameawayfromitmuchrelieved。\"
\"Ah!he’safellow,\"wentonHaldin,talkingslowlyattheceiling。\"Icametoknowhiminthatway,yousee。Forsomeweeksnow,eversinceIresignedmyselftodowhathadtobedone,Itriedtoisolatemyself。Igaveupmyrooms。Whatwasthegoodofexposingadecentwidowwomantotheriskofbeingworriedoutofhermindbythepolice?Igaveupseeinganyofourcomrades……\"
Razumovdrewtohimselfahalf—sheetofpaperandbegantotracelinesonitwithapencil。
\"Uponmyword,\"hethoughtangrily,\"heseemstohavethoughtofeverybody’ssafetybutmine。\"
Haldinwastalkingon。
\"Thismorning——ah!thismorning——thatwasdifferent。HowcanI
explaintoyou?BeforethedeedwasdoneIwanderedatnightandlayhidintheday,thinkingitout,andIfeltrestful。
Sleeplessbutrestful。Whatwasthereformetotormentmyselfabout?Butthismorning——after!ThenitwasthatIbecamerestless。Icouldnothavestoppedinthatbighousefullofmisery。Themiserableofthisworldcan’tgiveyoupeace。
Thenwhenthatsillycaretakerbegantoshout,Isaidtomyself,’Thereisayoungmaninthistownheadandshouldersabovecommonprejudices。’\"
\"Ishelaughingatmei?\"。Razumovaskedhimself,goingonwithhisaimlessdrawingoftrianglesandsquares。Andsuddenlyhethought:\"Mybehaviourmustappeartohimstrange。ShouldhetakefrightatmymannerandrushoffsomewhereIshallbeundonecompletely。ThatinfernalGeneral……\"
Hedroppedthepencilandturnedabruptlytowardsthebedwiththeshadowyfigureextendedfulllengthonit——somuchmoreindistinctthantheoneoverwhosebreasthehadwalkedwithoutfaltering。Wasthis,too,aphantom?
Thesilencehadlastedalongtime。\"Heisnolongerhere,\"wasthethoughtagainstwhichRazumovstruggleddesperately,quitefrightenedatitsabsurdity。\"Heisalreadygoneandthis……
only……\"
Hecouldresistnolonger。Hesprangtohisfeet,sayingaloud,\"Iamintolerablyanxious,\"andinafewheadlongstridesstoodbythesideofthebed。HishandfelllightlyonHaldin’sshoulder,anddirectlyhefeltitsrealityhewasbesetbyaninsanetemptationtogripthatexposedthroatandsqueezethebreathoutofthatbody,lestitshouldescapehiscustody,leavingonlyaphantombehind。
Haldindidnotstiralimb,buthisovershadowedeyesmovingalittlegazedupwardsatRazumovwithwistfulgratitudeforthismanifestationoffeeling。
Razumovturnedawayandstrodeupanddowntheroom。\"Itwouldhavebeenpossiblyakindness,\"hemutteredtohimself,andwasappalledbythenatureofthatapologyforamurderousintentionhismindhadfoundsomewherewithinhim。Andallthesamehecouldnotgiveitup。Hebecamelucidaboutit。\"Whatcanheexpecti?\"hethought。\"Thehalter——intheend。AndI……\"
ThisargumentwasinterruptedbyHaldin’svoice。
\"Whybeanxiousforme?Theycankillmybody,buttheycannotexilemysoulfromthisworld。Itellyouwhat——IbelieveinthisworldsomuchthatIcannotconceiveeternityotherwisethanasaverylonglife。ThatisperhapsthereasonIamsoreadytodie。\"
\"H’m,\"mutteredRazumov,andbitinghislowerliphecontinuedtowalkupanddownandtocarryonhisstrangeargument。
Yes,toamaninsuchasituation——ofcourseitwouldbeanactofkindness。Thequestion,however,wasnothowtobekind,buthowtobefirm。Hewasaslipperycustomer\"Itoo,VictorVictorovitch,believeinthisworldofours,\"hesaidwithforce。\"Itoo,whileIlive……Butyouseemdeterminedtohauntit。Youcan’tseriously……mean\"
ThevoiceofthemotionlessHaldinbegan——
\"Hauntit!Truly,theoppressorsofthoughtwhichquickenstheworld,thedestroyersofsoulswhichaspiretoperfectionofhumandignity,theyshallbehaunted。Astothedestroyersofmymerebody,Ihaveforgiventhembeforehand。\"
Razumovhadstoppedapparentlytolisten,butatthesametimehewasobservinghisownsensations。HewasvexedwithhimselfforattachingsomuchimportancetowhatHaldinsaid。
\"Thefellow’smad,\"hethoughtfirmly,butthisopiniondidnotmollifyhimtowardsHaldin。Itwasaparticularlyimpudentformoflunacy——andwhenitgotlooseinthesphereofpubliclifeofacountry,itwasobviouslythedutyofeverygoodcitizen……
ThistrainofthoughtbrokeoffshortthereandwassucceededbyaparoxysmofsilenthatredtowardsHaldin,sointensethatRazumovhastenedtospeakatrandom。
\"Yes。Eternity,ofcourse。I,too,can’tverywellrepresentittomyself……Iimagineit,however,assomethingquietanddull。
Therewouldbenothingunexpected——don’tyousee?Theelementoftimewouldbewanting。\"
Hepulledouthiswatchandgazedatit。Haldinturnedoveronhissideandlookedonintently。
Razumovgotfrightenedatthismovement。Aslipperycustomerthisfellowwithaphantom。Itwasnotmidnightyet。Hehastenedon——
\"Andunfathomablemysteries!CanyouconceivesecretplacesinEternity?Impossible。Whereaslifeisfullofthem。Therearesecretsofbirth,forinstance。Onecarriesthemontothegrave。Thereissomethingcomical……butnevermind。Andtherearesecretmotivesofconduct。Aman’smostopenactionshaveasecretsidetothem。Thatisinterestingandsounfathomable!
Forinstance,amangoesoutofaroomforawalk。Nothingmoretrivialinappearance。Andyetitmaybemomentous。Hecomesback——hehasseenperhapsadrunkenbrute,takenparticularnoticeofthesnowontheground——andbeholdheisnolongerthesameman。Themostunlikelythingshaveasecretpoweroverone’sthoughts——thegreywhiskersofaparticularperson——thegoggleeyesofanother。\"
Razumov’sforeheadwasmoist。Hetookaturnortwointheroom,hisheadlowandsmilingtohimselfviciously。
\"Haveyoueverreflectedonthepowerofgoggleeyesandgreywhiskers?Excuseme。YouseemtothinkImustbecrazytotalkinthisveinatsuchatime。ButIamnottalkinglightly。I
haveseeninstances。Ithashappenedtomeoncetobetalkingtoamanwhosefatewasaffectedbyphysicalfactsofthatkind。
Andthemandidnotknowit。Ofcourse,itwasacaseofconscience,butthematerialfactssuchasthesebroughtaboutthesolution……Andyoutellme,VictorVictorovitch,nottobeanxious!Why!Iamresponsibleforyou,\"
Razumovalmostshrieked。
HeavoidedwithdifficultyaburstofMephistophelianlaughter。
Haldin,verypale,raisedhimselfonhiselbow。
\"Andthesurprisesoflife,\"wentonRazumov,afterglancingattheotheruneasily。\"Justconsidertheirastonishingnature。A
mysteriousimpulseinducesyoutocomehere。Idon’tsayyouhavedonewrong。Indeed,fromacertainpointofviewyoucouldnothavedonebetter。Youmighthavegonetoamanwithaffectionsandfamilyties。Youhavesuchtiesyourself。Astome,youknowIhavebeenbroughtupinaneducationalinstitutewheretheydidnotgiveusenoughtoeat。Totalkofaffectioninsuchaconnexion——youperceiveyourself……Astoties,theonlytiesIhaveintheworldaresocial。ImustgetacknowledgedinsomewaybeforeIcanactatall。Isithereworking……Anddon’tyouthinkIamworkingforprogresstoo?
I’vegottofindmyownideasofthetrueway……Pardonme,\"
continuedRazumov,afterdrawingbreathandwithashort,throatylaugh,\"butIhaven’tinheritedarevolutionaryinspirationtogetherwitharesemblancefromanuncle。\"
Helookedagainathiswatchandnoticedwithsickeningdisgustthattherewereyetagoodmanyminutestomidnight。Hetorewatchandchainoffhiswaistcoatandlaidthemonthetablewellinthecircleofbrightlamplight。Haldin,recliningonhiselbow,didnotstir。Razumovwasmadeuneasybythisattitude。
\"Whatmoveishemeditatingoversoquietly?\"hethought。\"Hemustbeprevented。Imustkeepontalkingtohim。\"
Heraisedhisvoice。
\"Youareason,abrother,anephew,acousin——Idon’tknowwhat——tonoendofpeople。Iamjustaman。HereIstandbeforeyou。Amanwithamind。Diditeveroccurtoyouhowamanwhohadneverheardawordofwarmaffectionorpraiseinhislifewouldthinkonmattersonwhichyouwouldthinkfirstwithoragainstyourclass,yourdomestictradition——yourfiresideprejudices?……Didyoueverconsiderhowamanlikethatwouldfeel?Ihavenodomestictradition。Ihavenothingtothinkagainst。Mytraditionishistorical。WhathaveItolookbacktobutthatnationalpastfromwhichyougentlemenwanttowrenchawayyourfuture?AmItoletmyintelligence,myaspirationstowardsabetterlot,berobbedoftheonlythingithastogouponatthewillofviolententhusiasts?Youcomefromyourprovince,butallthislandismine——orIhavenothing。Nodoubtyoushallbelookeduponasamartyrsomeday——asortofhero——apoliticalsaint。ButIbegtobeexcused。I
amcontentinfittingmyselftobeaworker。Andwhatcanyoupeopledobyscatteringafewdropsofbloodonthesnow?OnthisImmensity。OnthisunhappyImmensity!Itellyou,\"hecried,inavibrating,subduedvoice,andadvancingonestepnearerthebed,\"thatwhatitneedsisnotalotofhauntingphantomsthatIcouldwalkthrough——butaman!\"
Haldinthrewhisarmsforwardasiftokeephimoffinhorror。
\"Iunderstanditallnow,\"heexclaimed,withawestruckdismay。
\"Iunderstand——atlast。\"
Razumovstaggeredbackagainstthetable。Hisforeheadbrokeoutinperspirationwhileacoldshudderrandownhisspine。
\"WhathaveIbeensaying?\"heaskedhimself。\"HaveIlethimslipthroughmyfingersafterall?
\"Hefelthislipsgostifflikebuckram,andinsteadofareassuringsmileonlyachievedanuncertaingrimace。
\"Whatwillyouhave?\"hebeganinaconciliatingvoicewhichgotsteadyafterthefirsttremblingwordortwo。\"Whatwillyouhave?
Consider——amanofstudious,retiredhabits——andsuddenlylikethis……
Iamnotpractisedintalkingdelicately。But……
\"Hefeltanger,awickedanger,getholdofhimagain。
\"Whatwerewetodotogethertillmidnight?Sithereoppositeeachotherandthinkofyour——your—shambles?\"
Haldinhadasubdued,heartbrokenattitude。Hebowedhishead;
hishandshungbetweenhisknees。Hisvoicewaslowandpainedbutcalm。
\"Iseenowhowitis,Razumov——brother。Youareamagnanimoussoul,butmyactionisabhorrenttoyou——alas……\"
Razumovstared。Fromfrighthehadsethisteethsohardthathiswholefaceached。Itwasimpossibleforhimtomakeasound。
\"Andevenmyperson,too,isloathsometoyouperhaps,\"Haldinaddedmournfully,afterashortpause,lookingupforamoment,thenfixinghisgazeonthefloor。\"Forindeed,unlessone……\"
Hebrokeoffevidentlywaitingforaword。Razumovremainedsilent。Haldinnoddedhisheaddejectedlytwice。
\"Ofcourse。Ofcourse,\"hemurmured……\"Ah!wearywork!\"
Heremainedperfectlystillforamoment,thenmadeRazumov’sleadenheartstrikeaponderousblowbyspringingupbriskly。
\"Sobeit,\"hecriedsadlyinalow,distincttone。\"Farewellthen。\"
Razumovstartedforward,butthesightofHaldin’sraisedhandcheckedhimbeforehecouldgetawayfromthetable。Heleanedonitheavily,listeningtothefaintsoundsofsometownclocktollingthehour。Haldin,alreadyatthedoor,tallandstraightasanarrow,withhispalefaceandahandraisedattentively,mighthaveposedforthestatueofadaringyouthlisteningtoaninnervoice。Razumovmechanicallyglanceddownathiswatch。WhenhelookedtowardsthedooragainHaldinhadvanished。Therewasafaintrustlingintheouterroom,thefeebleclickofaboltdrawnbacklightly。Hewasgone——almostasnoiselessasavision。