\"Thesechildrenwillbethedeathofmeatlast!\"saidMrs。
Tetterby,afterbanishingtheculprit。\"Andthesoonerthebetter,Ithink。\"
\"Poorpeople,\"saidMr。Tetterby,\"oughtnottohavechildrenatall。TheygiveUSnopleasure。\"
HewasatthatmomenttakingupthecupwhichMrs。Tetterbyhadrudelypushedtowardshim,andMrs。Tetterbywasliftingherowncuptoherlips,whentheybothstopped,asiftheyweretransfixed。
\"Here!Mother!Father!\"criedJohnny,runningintotheroom。
\"Here’sMrs。Williamcomingdownthestreet!\"
Andifever,sincetheworldbegan,ayoungboytookababyfromacradlewiththecareofanoldnurse,andhushedandsoothedittenderly,andtotteredawaywithitcheerfully,Johnnywasthatboy,andMolochwasthatbaby,astheywentouttogether!
Mr。Tetterbyputdownhiscup;Mrs。Tetterbyputdownhercup。Mr。
Tetterbyrubbedhisforehead;Mrs。Tetterbyrubbedhers。Mr。
Tetterby’sfacebegantosmoothandbrighten;Mrs。Tetterby’sbegantosmoothandbrighten。
\"Why,Lordforgiveme,\"saidMr。Tetterbytohimself,\"whateviltempershaveIbeengivingwayto?Whathasbeenthematterhere!\"
\"HowcouldIevertreathimillagain,afterallIsaidandfeltlastnight!\"sobbedMrs。Tetterby,withheraprontohereyes。
\"AmIabrute,\"saidMr。Tetterby,\"oristhereanygoodinmeatall?Sophia!Mylittlewoman!\"
\"’Dolphusdear,\"returnedhiswife。
\"I—I’vebeeninastateofmind,\"saidMr。Tetterby,\"thatI
can’tabeartothinkof,Sophy。\"
\"Oh!It’snothingtowhatI’vebeenin,Dolf,\"criedhiswifeinagreatburstofgrief。
\"MySophia,\"saidMr。Tetterby,\"don’ttakeon。Inevershallforgivemyself。Imusthavenearlybrokeyourheart,Iknow。\"
\"No,Dolf,no。Itwasme!Me!\"criedMrs。Tetterby。
\"Mylittlewoman,\"saidherhusband,\"don’t。Youmakemereproachmyselfdreadful,whenyoushowsuchanoblespirit。Sophia,mydear,youdon’tknowwhatIthought。Ishoweditbadenough,nodoubt;butwhatIthought,mylittlewoman!—\"
\"Oh,dearDolf,don’t!Don’t!\"criedhiswife。
\"Sophia,\"saidMr。Tetterby,\"Imustrevealit。Icouldn’trestinmyconscienceunlessImentionedit。Mylittlewoman—\"
\"Mrs。William’sverynearlyhere!\"screamedJohnnyatthedoor。
\"Mylittlewoman,Iwonderedhow,\"gaspedMr。Tetterby,supportinghimselfbyhischair,\"IwonderedhowIhadeveradmiredyou—I
forgotthepreciouschildrenyouhavebroughtaboutme,andthoughtyoudidn’tlookasslimasIcouldwish。I—Inevergavearecollection,\"saidMr。Tetterby,withsevereself—accusation,\"tothecaresyou’vehadasmywife,andalongofmeandmine,whenyoumighthavehadhardlyanywithanotherman,whogotonbetterandwasluckierthanme(anybodymighthavefoundsuchamaneasilyI
amsure);andIquarrelledwithyouforhavingagedalittleintheroughyearsyouhavelightenedforme。Canyoubelieveit,mylittlewoman?Ihardlycanmyself。\"
Mrs。Tetterby,inawhirlwindoflaughingandcrying,caughthisfacewithinherhands,andhelditthere。
\"Oh,Dolf!\"shecried。\"Iamsohappythatyouthoughtso;Iamsogratefulthatyouthoughtso!ForIthoughtthatyouwerecommon—
looking,Dolf;andsoyouare,mydear,andmayyoubethecommonestofallsightsinmyeyes,tillyouclosethemwithyourowngoodhands。Ithoughtthatyouweresmall;andsoyouare,andI’llmakemuchofyoubecauseyouare,andmoreofyoubecauseI
lovemyhusband。Ithoughtthatyoubegantostoop;andsoyoudo,andyoushallleanonme,andI’lldoallIcantokeepyouup。I
thoughttherewasnoairaboutyou;butthereis,andit’stheairofhome,andthat’sthepurestandthebestthereis,andGodblesshomeoncemore,andallbelongingtoit,Dolf!\"
\"Hurrah!Here’sMrs。William!\"criedJohnny。
Soshewas,andallthechildrenwithher;andsoshecamein,theykissedher,andkissedoneanother,andkissedthebaby,andkissedtheirfatherandmother,andthenranbackandflockedanddancedabouther,troopingonwithherintriumph。
Mr。andMrs。Tetterbywerenotabitbehind—handinthewarmthoftheirreception。Theywereasmuchattractedtoherasthechildrenwere;theyrantowardsher,kissedherhands,pressedroundher,couldnotreceiveherardentlyorenthusiasticallyenough。Shecameamongthemlikethespiritofallgoodness,affection,gentleconsideration,love,anddomesticity。
\"What!areYOUallsogladtoseeme,too,thisbrightChristmasmorning?\"saidMilly,clappingherhandsinapleasantwonder。\"Ohdear,howdelightfulthisis!\"
Moreshoutingfromthechildren,morekissing,moretroopingroundher,morehappiness,morelove,morejoy,morehonour,onallsides,thanshecouldbear。
\"Ohdear!\"saidMilly,\"whatdelicioustearsyoumakemeshed。HowcanIeverhavedeservedthis!WhathaveIdonetobesoloved?\"
\"Whocanhelpit!\"criedMr。Tetterby。
\"Whocanhelpit!\"criedMrs。Tetterby。
\"Whocanhelpit!\"echoedthechildren,inajoyfulchorus。Andtheydancedandtroopedaboutheragain,andclungtoher,andlaidtheirrosyfacesagainstherdress,andkissedandfondledit,andcouldnotfondleit,orher,enough。
\"Ineverwassomoved,\"saidMilly,dryinghereyes,\"asIhavebeenthismorning。Imusttellyou,assoonasIcanspeak。—Mr。
Redlawcametomeatsunrise,andwithatendernessinhismanner,moreasifIhadbeenhisdarlingdaughterthanmyself,imploredmetogowithhimtowhereWilliam’sbrotherGeorgeislyingill。Wewenttogether,andallthewayalonghewassokind,andsosubdued,andseemedtoputsuchtrustandhopeinme,thatIcouldnothelptryingwithpleasure。Whenwegottothehouse,wemetawomanatthedoor(somebodyhadbruisedandhurther,Iamafraid),whocaughtmebythehand,andblessedmeasIpassed。\"
\"Shewasright!\"saidMr。Tetterby。Mrs。Tetterbysaidshewasright。Allthechildrencriedoutthatshewasright。
\"Ah,butthere’smorethanthat,\"saidMilly。\"Whenwegotupstairs,intotheroom,thesickmanwhohadlainforhoursinastatefromwhichnoeffortcouldrousehim,roseupinhisbed,and,burstingintotears,stretchedouthisarmstome,andsaidthathehadledamis—spentlife,butthathewastrulyrepentantnow,inhissorrowforthepast,whichwasallasplaintohimasagreatprospect,fromwhichadenseblackcloudhadclearedaway,andthatheentreatedmetoaskhispooroldfatherforhispardonandhisblessing,andtosayaprayerbesidehisbed。AndwhenI
didso,Mr。Redlawjoinedinitsofervently,andthensothankedandthankedme,andthankedHeaven,thatmyheartquiteoverflowed,andIcouldhavedonenothingbutsobandcry,ifthesickmanhadnotbeggedmetositdownbyhim,—whichmademequietofcourse。
AsIsatthere,heheldmyhandinhisuntilhesankinadoze;andeventhen,whenIwithdrewmyhandtoleavehimtocomehere(whichMr。Redlawwasveryearnestindeedinwishingmetodo),hishandfeltformine,sothatsomeoneelsewasobligedtotakemyplaceandmakebelievetogivehimmyhandback。Ohdear,ohdear,\"saidMilly,sobbing。\"HowthankfulandhowhappyIshouldfeel,anddofeel,forallthis!\"
Whileshewasspeaking,Redlawhadcomein,and,afterpausingforamomenttoobservethegroupofwhichshewasthecentre,hadsilentlyascendedthestairs。Uponthosestairshenowappearedagain;remainingthere,whiletheyoungstudentpassedhim,andcamerunningdown。
\"Kindnurse,gentlest,bestofcreatures,\"hesaid,fallingonhiskneetoher,andcatchingatherhand,\"forgivemycruelingratitude!\"
\"Ohdear,ohdear!\"criedMillyinnocently,\"here’sanotherofthem!Ohdear,here’ssomebodyelsewholikesme。WhatshallI
everdo!\"
Theguileless,simplewayinwhichshesaidit,andinwhichsheputherhandsbeforehereyesandweptforveryhappiness,wasastouchingasitwasdelightful。
\"Iwasnotmyself,\"hesaid。\"Idon’tknowwhatitwas—itwassomeconsequenceofmydisorderperhaps—Iwasmad。ButIamsonolonger。AlmostasIspeak,Iamrestored。Iheardthechildrencryingoutyourname,andtheshadepassedfrommeattheverysoundofit。Oh,don’tweep!DearMilly,ifyoucouldreadmyheart,andonlyknewwithwhataffectionandwhatgratefulhomageitisglowing,youwouldnotletmeseeyouweep。Itissuchdeepreproach。\"
\"No,no,\"saidMilly,\"it’snotthat。It’snotindeed。It’sjoy。
It’swonderthatyoushouldthinkitnecessarytoaskmetoforgivesolittle,andyetit’spleasurethatyoudo。\"
\"Andwillyoucomeagain?andwillyoufinishthelittlecurtain?\"
\"No,\"saidMilly,dryinghereyes,andshakingherhead。\"Youwon’tcareformyneedleworknow。\"
\"Isitforgivingme,tosaythat?\"
Shebeckonedhimaside,andwhisperedinhisear。
\"Thereisnewsfromyourhome,Mr。Edmund。\"
\"News?How?\"
\"Eitheryournotwritingwhenyouwereveryill,orthechangeinyourhandwritingwhenyoubegantobebetter,createdsomesuspicionofthetruth;howeverthatis—butyou’resureyou’llnotbetheworseforanynews,ifit’snotbadnews?\"
\"Sure。\"
\"Thenthere’ssomeonecome!\"saidMilly。
\"Mymother?\"askedthestudent,glancingroundinvoluntarilytowardsRedlaw,whohadcomedownfromthestairs。
\"Hush!No,\"saidMilly。
\"Itcanbenooneelse。\"
\"Indeed?\"saidMilly,\"areyousure?\"
\"Itisnot—\"Beforehecouldsaymore,sheputherhanduponhismouth。
\"Yesitis!\"saidMilly。\"Theyounglady(sheisveryliketheminiature,Mr。Edmund,butsheisprettier)wastoounhappytorestwithoutsatisfyingherdoubts,andcameup,lastnight,withalittleservant—maid。Asyoualwaysdatedyourlettersfromthecollege,shecamethere;andbeforeIsawMr。Redlawthismorning,Isawher。SHElikesmetoo!\"saidMilly。\"Ohdear,that’sanother!\"
\"Thismorning!Whereisshenow?\"
\"Why,sheisnow,\"saidMilly,advancingherlipstohisear,\"inmylittleparlourintheLodge,andwaitingtoseeyou。\"
Hepressedherhand,andwasdartingoff,butshedetainedhim。
\"Mr。Redlawismuchaltered,andhastoldmethismorningthathismemoryisimpaired。Beveryconsideratetohim,Mr。Edmund;heneedsthatfromusall。\"
Theyoungmanassuredher,byalook,thathercautionwasnotill—
bestowed;andashepassedtheChemistonhiswayout,bentrespectfullyandwithanobviousinterestbeforehim。
Redlawreturnedthesalutationcourteouslyandevenhumbly,andlookedafterhimashepassedon。Hedroppedhisheaduponhishandtoo,astryingtoreawakensomethinghehadlost。Butitwasgone。
Theabidingchangethathadcomeuponhimsincetheinfluenceofthemusic,andthePhantom’sreappearance,was,thatnowhetrulyfelthowmuchhehadlost,andcouldcompassionatehisowncondition,andcontrastit,clearly,withthenaturalstateofthosewhowerearoundhim。Inthis,aninterestinthosewhowerearoundhimwasrevived,andameek,submissivesenseofhiscalamitywasbred,resemblingthatwhichsometimesobtainsinage,whenitsmentalpowersareweakened,withoutinsensibilityorsullennessbeingaddedtothelistofitsinfirmities。
Hewasconsciousthat,asheredeemed,throughMilly,moreandmoreoftheevilhehaddone,andashewasmoreandmorewithher,thischangeripeneditselfwithinhim。Therefore,andbecauseoftheattachmentsheinspiredhimwith(butwithoutotherhope),hefeltthathewasquitedependentonher,andthatshewashisstaffinhisaffliction。
So,whensheaskedhimwhethertheyshouldgohomenow,towheretheoldmanandherhusbandwere,andhereadilyreplied\"yes\"—
beinganxiousinthatregard—heputhisarmthroughhers,andwalkedbesideher;notasifhewerethewiseandlearnedmantowhomthewondersofNaturewereanopenbook,andhersweretheuninstructedmind,butasiftheirtwopositionswerereversed,andheknewnothing,andsheall。
Hesawthechildrenthrongabouther,andcaressher,asheandshewentawaytogetherthus,outofthehouse;heheardtheringingoftheirlaughter,andtheirmerryvoices;hesawtheirbrightfaces,clusteringaroundhimlikeflowers;hewitnessedtherenewedcontentmentandaffectionoftheirparents;hebreathedthesimpleairoftheirpoorhome,restoredtoitstranquillity;hethoughtoftheunwholesomeblighthehadsheduponit,andmight,butforher,havebeendiffusingthen;andperhapsitisnowonderthathewalkedsubmissivelybesideher,anddrewhergentlebosomnearertohisown。
WhentheyarrivedattheLodge,theoldmanwassittinginhischairinthechimney—corner,withhiseyesfixedontheground,andhissonwasleaningagainsttheoppositesideofthefire—place,lookingathim。Asshecameinatthedoor,bothstarted,andturnedroundtowardsher,andaradiantchangecameupontheirfaces。
\"Ohdear,dear,dear,theyareallpleasedtoseemeliketherest!\"criedMilly,clappingherhandsinanecstasy,andstoppingshort。\"Herearetwomore!\"
Pleasedtoseeher!Pleasurewasnowordforit。Sheranintoherhusband’sarms,thrownwideopentoreceiveher,andhewouldhavebeengladtohaveherthere,withherheadlyingonhisshoulder,throughtheshortwinter’sday。Buttheoldmancouldn’tspareher。Hehadarmsforhertoo,andhelockedherinthem。
\"Why,wherehasmyquietMousebeenallthistime?\"saidtheoldman。\"Shehasbeenalongwhileaway。Ifindthatit’simpossibleformetogetonwithoutMouse。I—where’smysonWilliam?—I
fancyIhavebeendreaming,William。\"
\"That’swhatIsaymyself,father,\"returnedhisson。\"Ihavebeeninanuglysortofdream,Ithink。—Howareyou,father?Areyouprettywell?\"
\"Strongandbrave,myboy,\"returnedtheoldman。
ItwasquiteasighttoseeMr。Williamshakinghandswithhisfather,andpattinghimontheback,andrubbinghimgentlydownwithhishand,asifhecouldnotpossiblydoenoughtoshowaninterestinhim。
\"Whatawonderfulmanyouare,father!—Howareyou,father?Areyoureallyprettyhearty,though?\"saidWilliam,shakinghandswithhimagain,andpattinghimagain,andrubbinghimgentlydownagain。
\"Ineverwasfresherorstouterinmylife,myboy。\"
\"Whatawonderfulmanyouare,father!Butthat’sexactlywhereitis,\"saidMr。William,withenthusiasm。\"WhenIthinkofallthatmyfather’sgonethrough,andallthechancesandchanges,andsorrowsandtroubles,thathavehappenedtohiminthecourseofhislonglife,andunderwhichhisheadhasgrowngrey,andyearsuponyearshavegatheredonit,Ifeelasifwecouldn’tdoenoughtohonourtheoldgentleman,andmakehisoldageeasy。—Howareyou,father?Areyoureallyprettywell,though?\"
Mr。Williammightneverhaveleftoffrepeatingthisinquiry,andshakinghandswithhimagain,andpattinghimagain,andrubbinghimdownagain,iftheoldmanhadnotespiedtheChemist,whomuntilnowhehadnotseen。
\"Iaskyourpardon,Mr。Redlaw,\"saidPhilip,\"butdidn’tknowyouwerehere,sir,orshouldhavemadelessfree。Itremindsme,Mr。
Redlaw,seeingyouhereonaChristmasmorning,ofthetimewhenyouwasastudentyourself,andworkedsohardthatyouwerebackwardsandforwardsinourLibraryevenatChristmastime。Ha!
ha!I’moldenoughtorememberthat;andIrememberitrightwell,Ido,thoughIameight—seven。Itwasafteryouleftherethatmypoorwifedied。Youremembermypoorwife,Mr。Redlaw?\"
TheChemistansweredyes。
\"Yes,\"saidtheoldman。\"Shewasadearcreetur。—IrecollectyoucomehereoneChristmasmorningwithayounglady—Iaskyourpardon,Mr。Redlaw,butIthinkitwasasisteryouwasverymuchattachedto?\"
TheChemistlookedathim,andshookhishead。\"Ihadasister,\"
hesaidvacantly。Heknewnomore。
\"OneChristmasmorning,\"pursuedtheoldman,\"thatyoucomeherewithher—anditbegantosnow,andmywifeinvitedtheladytowalkin,andsitbythefirethatisalwaysaburningonChristmasDayinwhatusedtobe,beforeourtenpoorgentlemencommuted,ourgreatDinnerHall。Iwasthere;andIrecollect,asIwasstirringuptheblazefortheyoungladytowarmherprettyfeetby,shereadthescrolloutloud,thatisunderneaththatpictur,’Lord,keepmymemorygreen!’Sheandmypoorwifefellatalkingaboutit;andit’sastrangethingtothinkof,now,thattheybothsaid(bothbeingsounliketodie)thatitwasagoodprayer,andthatitwasonetheywouldputupveryearnestly,iftheywerecalledawayyoung,withreferencetothosewhoweredearesttothem。’Mybrother,’saystheyounglady—’Myhusband,’saysmypoorwife。—
’Lord,keephismemoryofme,green,anddonotletmebeforgotten!’\"
Tearsmorepainful,andmorebitterthanhehadevershedinallhislife,courseddownRedlaw’sface。Philip,fullyoccupiedinrecallinghisstory,hadnotobservedhimuntilnow,norMilly’sanxietythatheshouldnotproceed。
\"Philip!\"saidRedlaw,layinghishanduponhisarm,\"Iamastrickenman,onwhomthehandofProvidencehasfallenheavily,althoughdeservedly。Youspeaktome,myfriend,ofwhatIcannotfollow;mymemoryisgone。\"
\"Mercifulpower!\"criedtheoldman。
\"Ihavelostmymemoryofsorrow,wrong,andtrouble,\"saidtheChemist,\"andwiththatIhavelostallmanwouldremember!\"
ToseeoldPhilip’spityforhim,toseehimwheelhisowngreatchairforhimtorestin,andlookdownuponhimwithasolemnsenseofhisbereavement,wastoknow,insomedegree,howprecioustooldagesuchrecollectionsare。
Theboycamerunningin,andrantoMilly。
\"Here’stheman,\"hesaid,\"intheotherroom。Idon’twantHIM。\"
\"Whatmandoeshemean?\"askedMr。William。
\"Hush!\"saidMilly。
Obedienttoasignfromher,heandhisoldfathersoftlywithdrew。
Astheywentout,unnoticed,Redlawbeckonedtotheboytocometohim。
\"Ilikethewomanbest,\"heanswered,holdingtoherskirts。
\"Youareright,\"saidRedlaw,withafaintsmile。\"Butyouneedn’tfeartocometome。IamgentlerthanIwas。Ofalltheworld,toyou,poorchild!\"
Theboystillheldbackatfirst,butyieldinglittlebylittletoherurging,heconsentedtoapproach,andeventositdownathisfeet。AsRedlawlaidhishandupontheshoulderofthechild,lookingonhimwithcompassionandafellow—feeling,heputouthisotherhandtoMilly。Shestoopeddownonthatsideofhim,sothatshecouldlookintohisface,andaftersilence,said:
\"Mr。Redlaw,mayIspeaktoyou?\"
\"Yes,\"heanswered,fixinghiseyesuponher。\"Yourvoiceandmusicarethesametome。\"
\"MayIaskyousomething?\"
\"Whatyouwill。\"
\"DoyourememberwhatIsaid,whenIknockedatyourdoorlastnight?Aboutonewhowasyourfriendonce,andwhostoodonthevergeofdestruction?\"
\"Yes。Iremember,\"hesaid,withsomehesitation。
\"Doyouunderstandit?\"
Hesmoothedtheboy’shair—lookingatherfixedlythewhile,andshookhishead。
\"Thisperson,\"saidMilly,inherclear,softvoice,whichhermildeyes,lookingathim,madeclearerandsofter,\"Ifoundsoonafterwards。Iwentbacktothehouse,and,withHeaven’shelp,tracedhim。Iwasnottoosoon。AverylittleandIshouldhavebeentoolate。\"
Hetookhishandfromtheboy,andlayingitonthebackofthathandofhers,whosetimidandyetearnesttouchaddressedhimnolessappealinglythanhervoiceandeyes,lookedmoreintentlyonher。
\"HeISthefatherofMr。Edmund,theyounggentlemanwesawjustnow。HisrealnameisLongford。—Yourecollectthename?\"
\"Irecollectthename。\"
\"Andtheman?\"
\"No,nottheman。Didheeverwrongme?\"
\"Yes!\"
\"Ah!Thenit’shopeless—hopeless。\"
Heshookhishead,andsoftlybeatuponthehandheheld,asthoughmutelyaskinghercommiseration。
\"IdidnotgotoMr。Edmundlastnight,\"saidMilly,—\"Youwilllistentomejustthesameasifyoudidrememberall?\"
\"Toeverysyllableyousay。\"
\"Both,becauseIdidnotknow,then,thatthisreallywashisfather,andbecauseIwasfearfuloftheeffectofsuchintelligenceuponhim,afterhisillness,ifitshouldbe。SinceI
haveknownwhothispersonis,Ihavenotgoneeither;butthatisforanotherreason。Hehaslongbeenseparatedfromhiswifeandson—hasbeenastrangertohishomealmostfromthisson’sinfancy,Ilearnfromhim—andhasabandonedanddesertedwhatheshouldhaveheldmostdear。Inallthattimehehasbeenfallingfromthestateofagentleman,moreandmore,until—\"sheroseup,hastily,andgoingoutforamoment,returned,accompaniedbythewreckthatRedlawhadbeheldlastnight。
\"Doyouknowme?\"askedtheChemist。
\"Ishouldbeglad,\"returnedtheother,\"andthatisanunwontedwordformetouse,ifIcouldanswerno。\"
TheChemistlookedattheman,standinginself—abasementanddegradationbeforehim,andwouldhavelookedlonger,inanineffectualstruggleforenlightenment,butthatMillyresumedherlatepositionbyhisside,andattractedhisattentivegazetoherownface。
\"Seehowlowheissunk,howlostheis!\"shewhispered,stretchingoutherarmtowardshim,withoutlookingfromtheChemist’sface。
\"Ifyoucouldrememberallthatisconnectedwithhim,doyounotthinkitwouldmoveyourpitytoreflectthatoneyoueverloved(donotletusmindhowlongago,orinwhatbeliefthathehasforfeited),shouldcometothis?\"
\"Ihopeitwould,\"heanswered。\"Ibelieveitwould。\"
Hiseyeswanderedtothefigurestandingnearthedoor,butcamebackspeedilytoher,onwhomhegazedintently,asifhestrovetolearnsomelessonfromeverytoneofhervoice,andeverybeamofhereyes。
\"Ihavenolearning,andyouhavemuch,\"saidMilly;\"Iamnotusedtothink,andyouarealwaysthinking。MayItellyouwhyitseemstomeagoodthingforus,torememberwrongthathasbeendoneus?\"
\"Yes。\"
\"Thatwemayforgiveit。\"
\"Pardonme,greatHeaven!\"saidRedlaw,liftinguphiseyes,\"forhavingthrownawaythineownhighattribute!\"
\"Andif,\"saidMilly,\"ifyourmemoryshouldonedayberestored,aswewillhopeandprayitmaybe,woulditnotbeablessingtoyoutorecallatonceawronganditsforgiveness?\"
Helookedatthefigurebythedoor,andfastenedhisattentiveeyesonheragain;arayofclearerlightappearedtohimtoshineintohismind,fromherbrightface。
\"Hecannotgotohisabandonedhome。Hedoesnotseektogothere。
Heknowsthathecouldonlycarryshameandtroubletothosehehassocruellyneglected;andthatthebestreparationhecanmakethemnow,istoavoidthem。Averylittlemoneycarefullybestowed,wouldremovehimtosomedistantplace,wherehemightliveanddonowrong,andmakesuchatonementasisleftwithinhispowerforthewronghehasdone。Totheunfortunateladywhoishiswife,andtohisson,thiswouldbethebestandkindestboonthattheirbestfriendcouldgivethem—onetoothattheyneedneverknowof;
andtohim,shatteredinreputation,mind,andbody,itmightbesalvation。\"
Hetookherheadbetweenherhands,andkissedit,andsaid:\"Itshallbedone。Itrusttoyoutodoitforme,nowandsecretly;
andtotellhimthatIwouldforgivehim,ifIweresohappyastoknowforwhat。\"
Assherose,andturnedherbeamingfacetowardsthefallenman,implyingthathermediationhadbeensuccessful,headvancedastep,andwithoutraisinghiseyes,addressedhimselftoRedlaw。
\"Youaresogenerous,\"hesaid,\"—youeverwere—thatyouwilltrytobanishyourrisingsenseofretributioninthespectaclethatisbeforeyou。Idonottrytobanishitfrommyself,Redlaw。
Ifyoucan,believeme。\"
TheChemistentreatedMilly,byagesture,tocomenearertohim;
and,ashelistenedlookedinherface,asiftofindinitthecluetowhatheheard。
\"Iamtoodecayedawretchtomakeprofessions;Irecollectmyowncareertoowell,toarrayanysuchbeforeyou。ButfromthedayonwhichImademyfirststepdownward,indealingfalselybyyou,I
havegonedownwithacertain,steady,doomedprogression。That,I
say。\"
Redlaw,keepinghercloseathisside,turnedhisfacetowardsthespeaker,andtherewassorrowinit。Somethinglikemournfulrecognitiontoo。
\"Imighthavebeenanotherman,mylifemighthavebeenanotherlife,ifIhadavoidedthatfirstfatalstep。Idon’tknowthatitwouldhavebeen。Iclaimnothingforthepossibility。Yoursisterisatrest,andbetterthanshecouldhavebeenwithme,ifIhadcontinuedevenwhatyouthoughtme:evenwhatIoncesupposedmyselftobe。\"
Redlawmadeahastymotionwithhishand,asifhewouldhaveputthatsubjectononeside。
\"Ispeak,\"theotherwenton,\"likeamantakenfromthegrave。I
shouldhavemademyowngrave,lastnight,haditnotbeenforthisblessedhand。\"
\"Ohdear,helikesmetoo!\"sobbedMilly,underherbreath。
\"That’sanother!\"
\"Icouldnothaveputmyselfinyourway,lastnight,evenforbread。But,to—day,myrecollectionofwhathasbeenissostronglystirred,andispresentedtome,Idon’tknowhow,sovividly,thatIhavedaredtocomeathersuggestion,andtotakeyourbounty,andtothankyouforit,andtobegyou,Redlaw,inyourdyinghour,tobeasmercifultomeinyourthoughts,asyouareinyourdeeds。\"
Heturnedtowardsthedoor,andstoppedamomentonhiswayforth。
\"Ihopemysonmayinterestyou,forhismother’ssake。Ihopehemaydeservetodoso。Unlessmylifeshouldbepreservedalongtime,andIshouldknowthatIhavenotmisusedyouraid,Ishallneverlookuponhimmore。\"
Goingout,heraisedhiseyestoRedlawforthefirsttime。
Redlaw,whosesteadfastgazewasfixeduponhim,dreamilyheldouthishand。Hereturnedandtouchedit—littlemore—withbothhisown;andbendingdownhishead,wentslowlyout。
Inthefewmomentsthatelapsed,whileMillysilentlytookhimtothegate,theChemistdroppedintohischair,andcoveredhisfacewithhishands。Seeinghimthus,whenshecameback,accompaniedbyherhusbandandhisfather(whowerebothgreatlyconcernedforhim),sheavoideddisturbinghim,orpermittinghimtobedisturbed;andkneeleddownnearthechairtoputsomewarmclothingontheboy。
\"That’sexactlywhereitis。That’swhatIalwayssay,father!\"
exclaimedheradmiringhusband。\"There’samotherlyfeelinginMrs。William’sbreastthatmustandwillhavewent!\"
\"Ay,ay,\"saidtheoldman;\"you’reright。MysonWilliam’sright!\"
\"Ithappensallforthebest,Millydear,nodoubt,\"saidMr。
William,tenderly,\"thatwehavenochildrenofourown;andyetI
sometimeswishyouhadonetoloveandcherish。Ourlittledeadchildthatyoubuiltsuchhopesupon,andthatneverbreathedthebreathoflife—ithasmadeyouquiet—like,Milly。\"
\"Iamveryhappyintherecollectionofit,Williamdear,\"sheanswered。\"Ithinkofiteveryday。\"
\"Iwasafraidyouthoughtofitagooddeal。\"
\"Don’tsay,afraid;itisacomforttome;itspeakstomeinsomanyways。Theinnocentthingthatneverlivedonearth,islikeanangeltome,William。\"
\"Youarelikeanangeltofatherandme,\"saidMr。William,softly。
\"Iknowthat。\"
\"WhenIthinkofallthosehopesIbuiltuponit,andthemanytimesIsatandpicturedtomyselfthelittlesmilingfaceuponmybosomthatneverlaythere,andthesweeteyesturneduptominethatneveropenedtothelight,\"saidMilly,\"Icanfeelagreatertenderness,Ithink,forallthedisappointedhopesinwhichthereisnoharm。WhenIseeabeautifulchildinitsfondmother’sarms,Iloveitallthebetter,thinkingthatmychildmighthavebeenlikethat,andmighthavemademyheartasproudandhappy。\"
Redlawraisedhishead,andlookedtowardsher。
\"Allthroughlife,itseemsbyme,\"shecontinued,\"totellmesomething。Forpoorneglectedchildren,mylittlechildpleadsasifitwerealive,andhadavoiceIknew,withwhichtospeaktome。WhenIhearofyouthinsufferingorshame,Ithinkthatmychildmighthavecometothat,perhaps,andthatGodtookitfrommeinHismercy。Eveninageandgreyhair,suchasfather’s,itispresent:sayingthatittoomighthavelivedtobeold,longandlongafteryouandIweregone,andtohaveneededtherespectandloveofyoungerpeople。\"
Herquietvoicewasquieterthanever,asshetookherhusband’sarm,andlaidherheadagainstit。
\"Childrenlovemeso,thatsometimesIhalffancy—it’sasillyfancy,William—theyhavesomewayIdon’tknowof,offeelingformylittlechild,andme,andunderstandingwhytheirloveisprecioustome。IfIhavebeenquietsince,Ihavebeenmorehappy,William,inahundredways。Notleasthappy,dear,inthis—thatevenwhenmylittlechildwasbornanddeadbutafewdays,andIwasweakandsorrowful,andcouldnothelpgrievingalittle,thethoughtarose,thatifItriedtoleadagoodlife,IshouldmeetinHeavenabrightcreature,whowouldcallme,Mother!\"
Redlawfelluponhisknees,withaloudcry。
\"OThou,hesaid,\"whothroughtheteachingofpurelove,hastgraciouslyrestoredmetothememorywhichwasthememoryofChristupontheCross,andofallthegoodwhoperishedinHiscause,receivemythanks,andblessher!\"
Then,hefoldedhertohisheart;andMilly,sobbingmorethanever,cried,asshelaughed,\"Heiscomebacktohimself!Helikesmeverymuchindeed,too!Oh,dear,dear,dearme,here’sanother!\"
Then,thestudententered,leadingbythehandalovelygirl,whowasafraidtocome。AndRedlawsochangedtowardshim,seeinginhimandhisyouthfulchoice,thesoftenedshadowofthatchasteningpassageinhisownlife,towhich,astoashadytree,thedovesolongimprisonedinhissolitaryarkmightflyforrestandcompany,felluponhisneck,entreatingthemtobehischildren。
Then,asChristmasisatimeinwhich,ofalltimesintheyear,thememoryofeveryremediablesorrow,wrong,andtroubleintheworldaroundus,shouldbeactivewithus,notlessthanourownexperiences,forallgood,helaidhishandupontheboy,and,silentlycallingHimtowitnesswholaidHishandonchildreninoldtime,rebuking,inthemajestyofHispropheticknowledge,thosewhokeptthemfromHim,vowedtoprotecthim,teachhim,andreclaimhim。
Then,hegavehisrighthandcheerilytoPhilip,andsaidthattheywouldthatdayholdaChristmasdinnerinwhatusedtobe,beforethetenpoorgentlemencommuted,theirgreatDinnerHall;andthattheywouldbidtoitasmanyofthatSwidgerfamily,who,hissonhadtoldhim,weresonumerousthattheymightjoinhandsandmakearingroundEngland,ascouldbebroughttogetheronsoshortanotice。
Anditwasthatdaydone。ThereweresomanySwidgersthere,grownupandchildren,thatanattempttostatetheminroundnumbersmightengenderdoubts,inthedistrustful,oftheveracityofthishistory。Thereforetheattemptshallnotbemade。Buttheretheywere,bydozensandscores—andtherewasgoodnewsandgoodhopethere,readyforthem,ofGeorge,whohadbeenvisitedagainbyhisfatherandbrother,andbyMilly,andagainleftinaquietsleep。
There,presentatthedinner,too,weretheTetterbys,includingyoungAdolphus,whoarrivedinhisprismaticcomforter,ingoodtimeforthebeef。Johnnyandthebabyweretoolate,ofcourse,andcameinallononeside,theoneexhausted,theotherinasupposedstateofdouble—tooth;butthatwascustomary,andnotalarming。
Itwassadtoseethechildwhohadnonameorlineage,watchingtheotherchildrenastheyplayed,notknowinghowtotalkwiththem,orsportwiththem,andmorestrangetothewaysofchildhoodthanaroughdog。Itwassad,thoughinadifferentway,toseewhataninstinctiveknowledgetheyoungestchildrentherehadofhisbeingdifferentfromalltherest,andhowtheymadetimidapproachestohimwithsoftwordsandtouches,andwithlittlepresents,thathemightnotbeunhappy。ButhekeptbyMilly,andbegantoloveher—thatwasanother,asshesaid!—and,astheyalllikedherdearly,theyweregladofthat,andwhentheysawhimpeepingatthemfrombehindherchair,theywerepleasedthathewassoclosetoit。
Allthis,theChemist,sittingwiththestudentandhisbridethatwastobe,Philip,andtherest,saw。
Somepeoplehavesaidsince,thatheonlythoughtwhathasbeenhereinsetdown;others,thathereaditinthefire,onewinternightaboutthetwilighttime;others,thattheGhostwasbuttherepresentationofhisgloomythoughts,andMillytheembodimentofhisbetterwisdom。Isaynothing。
—Exceptthis。ThatastheywereassembledintheoldHall,bynootherlightthanthatofagreatfire(havingdinedearly),theshadowsoncemorestoleoutoftheirhiding—places,anddancedabouttheroom,showingthechildrenmarvellousshapesandfacesonthewalls,andgraduallychangingwhatwasrealandfamiliarthere,towhatwaswildandmagical。ButthattherewasonethingintheHall,towhichtheeyesofRedlaw,andofMillyandherhusband,andoftheoldman,andofthestudent,andhisbridethatwastobe,wereoftenturned,whichtheshadowsdidnotobscureorchange。
Deepenedinitsgravitybythefire—light,andgazingfromthedarknessofthepanelledwalllikelife,thesedatefaceintheportrait,withthebeardandruff,lookeddownatthemfromunderitsverdantwreathofholly,astheylookedupatit;and,clearandplainbelow,asifavoicehadutteredthem,werethewords。
LordkeepmyMemorygreen。