第3章
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  Vouchsafetoshowthesunshineofyourface,Thatwe,likesavages,mayworshipit。ROSALINEMyfaceisbutamoon,andcloudedtoo。FERDINANDBlessedareclouds,todoassuchcloudsdo!

  Vouchsafe,brightmoon,andthesethystars,toshine,Thosecloudsremoved,uponourwateryeyne。ROSALINEOvainpetitioner!begagreatermatter;

  Thounowrequest’stbutmoonshineinthewater。FERDINANDThen,inourmeasuredobutvouchsafeonechange。

  Thoubid’stmebeg:thisbeggingisnotstrange。ROSALINEPlay,music,then!Nay,youmustdoitsoon。

  MusicplaysNotyet!nodance!ThuschangeIlikethemoon。FERDINANDWillyounotdance?Howcomeyouthusestranged?ROSALINEYoutookthemoonatfull,butnowshe’schanged。FERDINANDYetstillsheisthemoon,andItheman。

  Themusicplays;vouchsafesomemotiontoit。ROSALINEOurearsvouchsafeit。FERDINANDButyourlegsshoulddoit。ROSALINESinceyouarestrangersandcomeherebychance,We’llnotbenice:takehands。Wewillnotdance。FERDINANDWhytakewehands,then?ROSALINEOnlytopartfriends:

  Curtsy,sweethearts;andsothemeasureends。FERDINANDMoremeasureofthismeasure;benotnice。ROSALINEWecanaffordnomoreatsuchaprice。FERDINANDPrizeyouyourselves:whatbuysyourcompany?ROSALINEYourabsenceonly。FERDINANDThatcanneverbe。ROSALINEThencannotwebebought:andso,adieu;

  Twicetoyourvisor,andhalfoncetoyou。FERDINANDIfyoudenytodance,let’sholdmorechat。ROSALINEInprivate,then。FERDINANDIambestpleasedwiththat。

  TheyconverseapartBIRONWhite—handedmistress,onesweetwordwiththee。PRINCESSHoney,andmilk,andsugar;thereisthree。BIRONNaythen,twotreys,andifyougrowsonice,Metheglin,wort,andmalmsey:wellrun,dice!

  There’shalf—a—dozensweets。PRINCESSSeventhsweet,adieu:

  Sinceyoucancog,I’llplaynomorewithyou。BIRONOnewordinsecret。PRINCESSLetitnotbesweet。BIRONThougrievestmygall。PRINCESSGall!bitter。BIRONThereforemeet。

  TheyconverseapartDUMAINWillyouvouchsafewithmetochangeaword?MARIANameit。DUMAINFairlady,——MARIASayyouso?Fairlord,——

  Takethatforyourfairlady。DUMAINPleaseityou,Asmuchinprivate,andI’llbidadieu。

  TheyconverseapartKATHARINEWhat,wasyourvizardmadewithoutatongue?LONGAVILLEIknowthereason,lady,whyyouask。KATHARINEOforyourreason!quickly,sir;Ilong。LONGAVILLEYouhaveadoubletonguewithinyourmask,Andwouldaffordmyspeechlessvizardhalf。KATHARINEVeal,quoththeDutchman。Isnot’veal’

  acalf?LONGAVILLEAcalf,fairlady!KATHARINENo,afairlordcalf。LONGAVILLELet’sparttheword。KATHARINENo,I’llnotbeyourhalfTakeall,andweanit;itmayproveanox。LONGAVILLELook,howyoubuttyourselfinthesesharpmocks!

  Willyougivehorns,chastelady?donotso。KATHARINEThendieacalf,beforeyourhornsdogrow。LONGAVILLEOnewordinprivatewithyou,ereIdie。KATHARINEBleatsoftlythen;thebutcherhearsyoucry。

  TheyconverseapartBOYETThetonguesofmockingwenchesareaskeenAsistherazor’sedgeinvisible,Cuttingasmallerhairthanmaybeseen,Abovethesenseofsense;sosensibleSeemeththeirconference;theirconceitshavewingsFleeterthanarrows,bullets,wind,thought,swifterthings。ROSALINENotonewordmore,mymaids;breakoff,breakoff。BIRONByheaven,alldry—beatenwithpurescoff!FERDINANDFarewell,madwenches;youhavesimplewits。PRINCESSTwentyadieus,myfrozenMuscovits。

  ExeuntFERDINAND,Lords,andBlackamoorsArethesethebreedofwitssowonder’dat?BOYETTaperstheyare,withyoursweetbreathspuff’dout。ROSALINEWell—likingwitstheyhave;gross,gross;

  fat,fat。PRINCESSOpovertyinwit,kingly—poorflout!

  Willtheynot,thinkyou,hangthemselvestonight?

  Orever,butinvizards,showtheirfaces?

  ThispertBironwasoutofcountenancequite。ROSALINEO,theywereallinlamentablecases!

  Thekingwasweeping—ripeforagoodword。PRINCESSBirondidswearhimselfoutofallsuit。MARIADumainwasatmyservice,andhissword:

  Nopoint,quothI;myservantstraightwasmute。KATHARINELordLongavillesaid,Icameo’erhisheart;

  Andtrowyouwhathecalledme?PRINCESSQualm,perhaps。KATHARINEYes,ingoodfaith。PRINCESSGo,sicknessasthouart!ROSALINEWell,betterwitshavewornplainstatute—caps。

  Butwillyouhear?thekingismylovesworn。PRINCESSAndquickBironhathplightedfaithtome。KATHARINEAndLongavillewasformyserviceborn。MARIADumainismine,assureasbarkontree。BOYETMadam,andprettymistresses,giveear:

  ImmediatelytheywillagainbehereIntheirownshapes;foritcanneverbeTheywilldigestthisharshindignity。PRINCESSWilltheyreturn?BOYETTheywill,theywill,Godknows,Andleapforjoy,thoughtheyarelamewithblows:

  Thereforechangefavours;and,whentheyrepair,Blowlikesweetrosesinthissummerair。PRINCESSHowblow?howblow?speaktobeunderstood。BOYETFairladiesmask’darerosesintheirbud;

  Dismask’d,theirdamasksweetcommixtureshown,Areangelsvailingclouds,orrosesblown。PRINCESSAvaunt,perplexity!Whatshallwedo,Iftheyreturnintheirownshapestowoo?ROSALINEGoodmadam,ifbymeyou’llbeadvised,Let’s,mockthemstill,aswellknownasdisguised:

  Letuscomplaintothemwhatfoolswerehere,DisguisedlikeMuscovites,inshapelessgear;

  AndwonderwhattheywereandtowhatendTheirshallowshowsandprologuevilelypenn’dAndtheirroughcarriagesoridiculous,Shouldbepresentedatourtenttous。BOYETLadies,withdraw:thegallantsareathand。PRINCESSWhiptoourtents,asroesruno’erland。

  ExeuntPRINCESS,ROSALINE,KATHARINE,andMARIA

  Re—enterFERDINAND,BIRON,LONGAVILLE,andDUMAIN,intheirproperhabitsFERDINANDFairsir,Godsaveyou!Where’stheprincess?BOYETGonetohertent。PleaseityourmajestyCommandmeanyservicetoherthither?FERDINANDThatshevouchsafemeaudienceforoneword。BOYETIwill;andsowillshe,Iknow,mylord。

  ExitBIRONThisfellowpecksupwitaspigeonspease,AnduttersitagainwhenGoddothplease:

  Heiswit’spedler,andretailshiswaresAtwakesandwassails,meetings,markets,fairs;

  Andwethatsellbygross,theLorddothknow,Havenotthegracetograceitwithsuchshow。

  Thisgallantpinsthewenchesonhissleeve;

  HadhebeenAdam,hehadtemptedEve;

  A’cancarvetoo,andlisp:why,thisisheThatkiss’dhishandawayincourtesy;

  Thisistheapeofform,monsieurthenice,That,whenheplaysattables,chidesthediceInhonourableterms:nay,hecansingAmeanmostmeanly;andinusheringMendhimwhocan:theladiescallhimsweet;

  Thestairs,ashetreadsonthem,kisshisfeet:

  Thisistheflowerthatsmilesoneveryone,Toshowhisteethaswhiteaswhale’sbone;

  Andconsciences,thatwillnotdieindebt,Payhimthedueofhoney—tonguedBoyet。FERDINANDAblisteronhissweettongue,withmyheart,ThatputArmado’spageoutofhispart!BIRONSeewhereitcomes!Behavior,whatwertthouTillthismadmanshow’dthee?andwhatartthounow?

  Re—enterthePRINCESS,usheredbyBOYET,ROSALINE,MARIA,andKATHARINEFERDINANDAllhail,sweetmadam,andfairtimeofday!PRINCESS’Fair’in’allhail’isfoul,asIconceive。FERDINANDConstruemyspeechesbetter,ifyoumay。PRINCESSThenwishmebetter;Iwillgiveyouleave。FERDINANDWecametovisityou,andpurposenowToleadyoutoourcourt;vouchsafeitthen。PRINCESSThisfieldshallholdme;andsoholdyourvow:

  NorGod,norI,delightsinperjuredmen。FERDINANDRebukemenotforthatwhichyouprovoke:

  Thevirtueofyoureyemustbreakmyoath。PRINCESSYounicknamevirtue;viceyoushouldhavespoke;

  Forvirtue’sofficeneverbreaksmen’stroth。

  Nowbymymaidenhonour,yetaspureAstheunsulliedlily,Iprotest,AworldoftormentsthoughIshouldendure,Iwouldnotyieldtobeyourhouse’sguest;

  SomuchIhateabreakingcausetobeOfheavenlyoaths,vow’dwithintegrity。FERDINANDO,youhavelivedindesolationhere,Unseen,unvisited,muchtoourshame。PRINCESSNotso,mylord;itisnotso,Iswear;

  Wehavehadpastimeshereandpleasantgame:

  AmessofRussiansleftusbutoflate。FERDINANDHow,madam!Russians!PRINCESSAy,intruth,mylord;

  Trimgallants,fullofcourtshipandofstate。ROSALINEMadam,speaktrue。Itisnotso,mylord:

  Mylady,tothemannerofthedays,Incourtesygivesundeservingpraise。

  WefourindeedconfrontedwerewithfourInRussianhabit:heretheystay’danhour,Andtalk’dapace;andinthathour,mylord,Theydidnotblessuswithonehappyword。

  Idarenotcallthemfools;butthisIthink,Whentheyarethirsty,foolswouldfainhavedrink。BIRONThisjestisdrytome。Fairgentlesweet,Yourwitmakeswisethingsfoolish:whenwegreet,Witheyesbestseeing,heaven’sfieryeye,Bylightweloselight:yourcapacityIsofthatnaturethattoyourhugestoreWisethingsseemfoolishandrichthingsbutpoor。ROSALINEThisprovesyouwiseandrich,forinmyeye,——BIRONIamafool,andfullofpoverty。ROSALINEButthatyoutakewhatdothtoyoubelong,Itwereafaulttosnatchwordsfrommytongue。BIRONO,Iamyours,andallthatIpossess!ROSALINEAllthefoolmine?BIRONIcannotgiveyouless。ROSALINEWhichofthevizardswasitthatyouwore?BIRONWhere?when?whatvizard?whydemandyouthis?ROSALINEThere,then,thatvizard;thatsuperfluouscaseThathidtheworseandshow’dthebetterface。FERDINANDWearedescried;they’llmockusnowdownright。DUMAINLetusconfessandturnittoajest。PRINCESSAmazed,mylord?whylooksyourhighnesssad?ROSALINEHelp,holdhisbrows!he’llswoon!Whylookyoupale?

  Sea—sick,Ithink,comingfromMuscovy。BIRONThuspourthestarsdownplaguesforperjury。

  Cananyfaceofbrassholdlongerout?HerestandIlady,dartthyskillatme;

  Bruisemewithscorn,confoundmewithaflout;

  Thrustthysharpwitquitethroughmyignorance;

  Cutmetopieceswiththykeenconceit;

  AndIwillwishtheenevermoretodance,NornevermoreinRussianhabitwait。

  O,neverwillItrusttospeechespenn’d,Nortothemotionofaschoolboy’stongue,Nornevercomeinvizardtomyfriend,Norwooinrhyme,likeablindharper’ssong!

  Taffetaphrases,silkentermsprecise,Three—piledhyperboles,spruceaffectation,Figurespedantical;thesesummer—fliesHaveblownmefullofmaggotostentation:

  Idoforswearthem;andIhereprotest,Bythiswhiteglove;——howwhitethehand,Godknows!——

  Henceforthmywooingmindshallbeexpress’dInrussetyeasandhonestkerseynoes:

  And,tobegin,wench,——soGodhelpme,la!——

  Mylovetotheeissound,sanscrackorflaw。ROSALINESanssans,Iprayyou。BIRONYetIhaveatrickOftheoldrage:bearwithme,Iamsick;

  I’llleaveitbydegrees。Soft,letussee:

  Write,’Lordhavemercyonus’onthosethree;

  Theyareinfected;intheirheartsitlies;

  Theyhavetheplague,andcaughtitofyoureyes;

  Theselordsarevisited;youarenotfree,FortheLord’stokensonyoudoIsee。PRINCESSNo,theyarefreethatgavethesetokenstous。BIRONOurstatesareforfeit:seeknottoundous。ROSALINEItisnotso;forhowcanthisbetrue,Thatyoustandforfeit,beingthosethatsue?BIRONPeace!forIwillnothavetodowithyou。ROSALINENorshallnot,ifIdoasIintend。BIRONSpeakforyourselves;mywitisatanend。FERDINANDTeachus,sweetmadam,forourrudetransgressionSomefairexcuse。PRINCESSThefairestisconfession。

  Werenotyouherebutevennowdisguised?FERDINANDMadam,Iwas。PRINCESSAndwereyouwelladvised?FERDINANDIwas,fairmadam。PRINCESSWhenyouthenwerehere,Whatdidyouwhisperinyourlady’sear?FERDINANDThatmorethanalltheworldIdidrespecther。PRINCESSWhensheshallchallengethis,youwillrejecther。FERDINANDUponminehonour,no。PRINCESSPeace,peace!forbear:

  Youroathoncebroke,youforcenottoforswear。FERDINANDDespiseme,whenIbreakthisoathofmine。PRINCESSIwill:andthereforekeepit。Rosaline,WhatdidtheRussianwhisperinyourear?ROSALINEMadam,hesworethathedidholdmedearAspreciouseyesight,anddidvaluemeAbovethisworld;addingtheretomoreoverThathewouldwedme,orelsediemylover。PRINCESSGodgivetheejoyofhim!thenoblelordMosthonourablydothunholdhisword。FERDINANDWhatmeanyou,madam?bymylife,mytroth,Ineversworethisladysuchanoath。ROSALINEByheaven,youdid;andtoconfirmitplain,Yougavemethis:buttakeit,sir,again。FERDINANDMyfaithandthistheprincessIdidgive:

  Iknewherbythisjewelonhersleeve。PRINCESSPardonme,sir,thisjeweldidshewear;

  AndLordBiron,Ithankhim,ismydear。

  What,willyouhaveme,oryourpearlagain?BIRONNeitherofeither;Iremitbothtwain。

  Iseethetrickon’t:herewasaconsent,Knowingaforehandofourmerriment,TodashitlikeaChristmascomedy:

  Somecarry—tale,someplease—man,someslightzany,Somemumble—news,sometrencher—knight,someDick,ThatsmileshischeekinyearsandknowsthetrickTomakemyladylaughwhenshe’sdisposed,Toldourintentsbefore;whichoncedisclosed,Theladiesdidchangefavours:andthenwe,Followingthesigns,woo’dbutthesignofshe。

  Now,toourperjurytoaddmoreterror,Weareagainforsworn,inwillanderror。

  Muchuponthisitis:andmightnotyouToBOYET

  Forestalloursport,tomakeusthusuntrue?

  Donotyouknowmylady’sfootbythesquier,Andlaughupontheappleofhereye?

  Andstandbetweenherback,sir,andthefire,Holdingatrencher,jestingmerrily?

  Youputourpageout:go,youareallow’d;

  Diewhenyouwill,asmockshallbeyourshroud。

  Youleeruponme,doyou?there’saneyeWoundslikealeadensword。BOYETFullmerrilyHaththisbravemanage,thiscareer,beenrun。BIRONLo,heistiltingstraight!Peace!I

  havedone。

  EnterCOSTARD

  Welcome,purewit!thoupartestafairfray。COSTARDOLord,sir,theywouldknowWhetherthethreeWorthiesshallcomeinorno。BIRONWhat,aretherebutthree?COSTARDNo,sir;butitisvarafine,Foreveryonepursentsthree。BIRONAndthreetimesthriceisnine。COSTARDNotso,sir;undercorrection,sir;I

  hopeitisnotso。

  Youcannotbegus,sir,Icanassureyou,sirweknowwhatweknow:

  Ihope,sir,threetimesthrice,sir,——BIRONIsnotnine。COSTARDUndercorrection,sir,weknowwhereuntilitdothamount。BIRONByJove,Ialwaystookthreethreesfornine。COSTARDOLord,sir,itwerepityyoushouldgetyourlivingbyreckoning,sir。BIRONHowmuchisit?COSTARDOLord,sir,thepartiesthemselves,theactors,sir,willshowwhereuntilitdothamount:formineownpart,Iam,astheysay,buttoparfectonemaninonepoorman,PompiontheGreat,sir。BIRONArtthouoneoftheWorthies?COSTARDItpleasedthemtothinkmeworthyofPompiontheGreat:formineownpart,IknownotthedegreeoftheWorthy,butIamtostandforhim。BIRONGo,bidthemprepare。COSTARDWewillturnitfinelyoff,sir;wewilltakesomecare。

  ExitFERDINANDBiron,theywillshameus:letthemnotapproach。BIRONWeareshame—proof,mylord:andtissomepolicyTohaveoneshowworsethantheking’sandhiscompany。FERDINANDIsaytheyshallnotcome。PRINCESSNay,mygoodlord,letmeo’erruleyounow:

  Thatsportbestpleasesthatdothleastknowhow:

  Wherezealstrivestocontent,andthecontentsDiesinthezealofthatwhichitpresents:

  Theirformconfoundedmakesmostforminmirth,Whengreatthingslabouringperishintheirbirth。BIRONArightdescriptionofoursport,mylord。

  EnterDONADRIANODEARMADO

  DONADRIANODEARMADOAnointed,Iimploresomuchexpenseofthyroyalsweetbreathaswillutterabraceofwords。

  ConversesapartwithFERDINAND,anddelivershimapaperPRINCESSDoththismanserveGod?BIRONWhyaskyou?PRINCESSHespeaksnotlikeamanofGod’smaking。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOThatisallone,myfair,sweet,honeymonarch;for,Iprotest,theschoolmasterisexceedingfantastical;too,toovain,tootoovain:butwewillputit,astheysay,tofortunadelaguerra。

  Iwishyouthepeaceofmind,mostroyalcouplement!

  ExitFERDINANDHereisliketobeagoodpresenceofWorthies。HepresentsHectorofTroy;theswain,PompeytheGreat;theparishcurate,Alexander;Armado’spage,Hercules;thepedant,JudasMaccabaeus:AndifthesefourWorthiesintheirfirstshowthrive,Thesefourwillchangehabits,andpresenttheotherfive。BIRONThereisfiveinthefirstshow。FERDINANDYouaredeceived;’tisnotso。BIRONThepedant,thebraggart,thehedge—priest,thefoolandtheboy:——

  Abatethrowatnovum,andthewholeworldagainCannotpickoutfivesuch,takeeachoneinhisvein。FERDINANDTheshipisundersail,andhereshecomesamain。

  EnterCOSTARD,forPompeyCOSTARDIPompeyam,——BOYETYoulie,youarenothe。COSTARDIPompeyam,——BOYETWithlibbard’sheadonknee。BIRONWellsaid,oldmocker:Imustneedsbefriendswiththee。COSTARDIPompeyam,PompeysurnamedtheBig——DUMAINTheGreat。COSTARDItis,’Great,’sir:——

  PompeysurnamedtheGreat;

  Thatoftinfield,withtargeandshield,didmakemyfoetosweat:

  Andtravellingalongthiscoast,Ihereamcomebychance,AndlaymyarmsbeforethelegsofthissweetlassofFrance,Ifyourladyshipwouldsay,’Thanks,Pompey,’

  Ihaddone。PRINCESSGreatthanks,greatPompey。COSTARD’Tisnotsomuchworth;butIhopeI

  wasperfect:I

  madealittlefaultin’Great。’BIRONMyhattoahalfpenny,PompeyprovesthebestWorthy。

  EnterSIRNATHANIEL,forAlexanderSIRNATHANIELWhenintheworldIlived,Iwastheworld’scommander;

  Byeast,west,north,andsouth,Ispreadmyconqueringmight:

  MyscutcheonplaindeclaresthatIamAlisander,——BOYETYournosesays,no,youarenotforitstandstooright。BIRONYournosesmells’no’inthis,mosttender—smellingknight。PRINCESSTheconquerorisdismay’d。Proceed,goodAlexander。SIRNATHANIELWhenintheworldIlived,Iwastheworld’scommander,——BOYETMosttrue,’tisright;youwereso,Alisander。BIRONPompeytheGreat,——COSTARDYourservant,andCostard。BIRONTakeawaytheconqueror,takeawayAlisander。COSTARD[ToSIRNATHANIEL]O,sir,youhaveoverthrownAlisandertheconqueror!Youwillbescrapedoutofthepaintedclothforthis:yourlion,thatholdshispoll—axesittingonaclose—stool,willbegiventoAjax:hewillbetheninthWorthy。Aconqueror,andafeardtospeak!runawayforshame,Alisander。

  SIRNATHANIELretiresThere,an’tshallpleaseyou;afoolishmildman;anhonestman,lookyou,andsoondashed。Heisamarvellousgoodneighbour,faith,andaverygoodbowler:but,forAlisander,——alas,youseehow’tis,——alittleo’erparted。ButthereareWorthiesa—comingwillspeaktheirmindinsomeothersort。

  EnterHOLOFERNES,forJudas;andMOTH,forHerculesHOLOFERNESGreatHerculesispresentedbythisimp,Whoseclubkill’dCerberus,thatthree—headedcanis;

  Andwhenhewasababe,achild,ashrimp,Thusdidhestrangleserpentsinhismanus。

  Quoniamheseemethinminority,ErgoIcomewiththisapology。

  Keepsomestateinthyexit,andvanish。

  MOTHretiresJudasIam,——DUMAINAJudas!HOLOFERNESNotIscariot,sir。

  JudasIam,yclipedMaccabaeus。DUMAINJudasMaccabaeuscliptisplainJudas。BIRONAkissingtraitor。HowartthouprovedJudas?HOLOFERNESJudasIam,——DUMAINThemoreshameforyou,Judas。HOLOFERNESWhatmeanyou,sir?BOYETTomakeJudashanghimself。HOLOFERNESBegin,sir;youaremyelder。BIRONWellfollowed:Judaswashangedonanelder。HOLOFERNESIwillnotbeputoutofcountenance。BIRONBecausethouhastnoface。HOLOFERNESWhatisthis?BOYETAcittern—head。DUMAINTheheadofabodkin。BIRONADeath’sfaceinaring。LONGAVILLEThefaceofanoldRomancoin,scarceseen。BOYETThepommelofCaesar’sfalchion。DUMAINThecarved—bonefaceonaflask。BIRONSaintGeorge’shalf—cheekinabrooch。DUMAINAy,andinabroochoflead。BIRONAy,andworninthecapofatooth—drawer。

  Andnowforward;forwehaveputtheeincountenance。HOLOFERNESYouhaveputmeoutofcountenance。BIRONFalse;wehavegiventheefaces。HOLOFERNESButyouhaveout—facedthemall。BIRONAnthouwertalion,wewoulddoso。BOYETTherefore,asheisanass,lethimgo。

  Andsoadieu,sweetJude!nay,whydostthoustay?DUMAINForthelatterendofhisname。BIRONFortheasstotheJude;giveithim:——Jud—as,away!HOLOFERNESThisisnotgenerous,notgentle,nothumble。BOYETAlightforMonsieurJudas!itgrowsdark,hemaystumble。

  HOLOFERNESretiresPRINCESSAlas,poorMaccabaeus,howhathhebeenbaited!

  EnterDONADRIANODEARMADO,forHectorBIRONHidethyhead,Achilles:herecomesHectorinarms。DUMAINThoughmymockscomehomebyme,Iwillnowbemerry。FERDINANDHectorwasbutaTroyaninrespectofthis。BOYETButisthisHector?FERDINANDIthinkHectorwasnotsoclean—timbered。LONGAVILLEHislegistoobigforHector’s。DUMAINMorecalf,certain。BOYETNo;heisbestenduedinthesmall。BIRONThiscannotbeHector。DUMAINHe’sagodorapainter;forhemakesfaces。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOThearmipotentMars,oflancesthealmighty,GaveHectoragift,——DUMAINAgiltnutmeg。BIRONAlemon。LONGAVILLEStuckwithcloves。DUMAINNo,cloven。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOPeace!——

  ThearmipotentMars,oflancesthealmightyGaveHectoragift,theheirofIlion;

  Amansobreathed,thatcertainhewouldfight;

  yeaFrommorntillnight,outofhispavilion。

  Iamthatflower,——DUMAINThatmint。LONGAVILLEThatcolumbine。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOSweetLordLongaville,reinthytongue。LONGAVILLEImustrathergiveittherein,foritrunsagainstHector。DUMAINAy,andHector’sagreyhound。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOThesweetwar—manisdeadandrotten;

  sweetchucks,beatnotthebonesoftheburied:whenhebreathed,hewasaman。ButIwillforwardwithmydevice。

  TothePRINCESS

  Sweetroyalty,bestowonmethesenseofhearing。PRINCESSSpeak,braveHector:wearemuchdelighted。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOIdoadorethysweetgrace’sslipper。BOYET[AsidetoDUMAIN]Lovesherbythefoot,——DUMAIN[AsidetoBOYET]Hemaynotbytheyard。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOThisHectorfarsurmountedHannibal,——COSTARDThepartyisgone,fellowHector,sheisgone;sheistwomonthsonherway。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOWhatmeanestthou?COSTARDFaith,unlessyouplaythehonestTroyan,thepoorwenchiscastaway:she’squick;thechildbragsinherbellyalready:tisyours。

  DONADRIANODEARMADODostthouinfamonizemeamongpotentates?

  thoushaltdie。COSTARDThenshallHectorbewhippedforJaquenettathatisquickbyhimandhangedforPompeythatisdeadbyhim。DUMAINMostrarePompey!BOYETRenownedPompey!BIRONGreaterthangreat,great,great,greatPompey!

  PompeytheHuge!DUMAINHectortrembles。BIRONPompeyismoved。MoreAtes,moreAtes!

  stirthemon!stirthemon!DUMAINHectorwillchallengehim。BIRONAy,ifa’havenoman’sbloodin’sbellythanwillsupaflea。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOBythenorthpole,Idochallengethee。COSTARDIwillnotfightwithapole,likeanorthernman:

  I’llslash;I’lldoitbythesword。Ibeprayyou,letmeborrowmyarmsagain。DUMAINRoomfortheincensedWorthies!COSTARDI’lldoitinmyshirt。DUMAINMostresolutePompey!MOTHMaster,letmetakeyouabuttonholelower。DoyounotseePompeyisuncasingforthecombat?Whatmeanyou?Youwillloseyourreputation。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOGentlemenandsoldiers,pardonme;I

  willnotcombatinmyshirt。DUMAINYoumaynotdenyit:Pompeyhathmadethechallenge。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOSweetbloods,Ibothmayandwill。BIRONWhatreasonhaveyoufor’t?

  DONADRIANODEARMADOThenakedtruthofitis,Ihavenoshirt;

  Igowoolwardforpenance。BOYETTrue,anditwasenjoinedhiminRomeforwantoflinen:sincewhen,I’llbesworn,heworenonebutadishcloutofJaquenetta’s,andthata’wearsnexthisheartforafavour。

  EnterMERCADEMERCADEGodsaveyou,madam!PRINCESSWelcome,Mercade;

  Butthatthouinterrupt’stourmerriment。MERCADEIamsorry,madam;forthenewsIbringIsheavyinmytongue。Thekingyourfather——PRINCESSDead,formylife!MERCADEEvenso;mytaleistold。BIRONWorthies,away!thescenebeginstocloud。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOFormineownpart,Ibreathefreebreath。

  Ihaveseenthedayofwrongthroughthelittleholeofdiscretion,andIwillrightmyselflikeasoldier。

  ExeuntWorthiesFERDINANDHowfaresyourmajesty?PRINCESSBoyet,prepare;Iwillawaytonight。FERDINANDMadam,notso;Idobeseechyou,stay。PRINCESSPrepare,Isay。Ithankyou,graciouslords,Forallyourfairendeavors;andentreat,Outofanew—sadsoul,thatyouvouchsafeInyourrichwisdomtoexcuseorhideTheliberaloppositionofourspirits,Ifover—boldlywehaveborneourselvesIntheconverseofbreath:yourgentlenessWasguiltyofit。Farewellworthylord!

  Aheavyheartbearsnotanimbletongue:

  Excusemeso,comingtooshortofthanksFormygreatsuitsoeasilyobtain’d。FERDINANDTheextremepartsoftimeextremelyformsAllcausestothepurposeofhisspeed,AndoftenathisveryloosedecidesThatwhichlongprocesscouldnotarbitrate:

  AndthoughthemourningbrowofprogenyForbidthesmilingcourtesyofloveTheholysuitwhichfainitwouldconvince,Yet,sincelove’sargumentwasfirstonfoot,LetnotthecloudofsorrowjustleitFromwhatitpurposed;since,towailfriendslostIsnotbymuchsowholesome—profitableAstorejoiceatfriendsbutnewlyfound。PRINCESSIunderstandyounot:mygriefsaredouble。BIRONHonestplainwordsbestpiercetheearofgrief;

  Andbythesebadgesunderstandtheking。

  Foryourfairsakeshaveweneglectedtime,Play’dfoulplaywithouroaths:yourbeauty,ladies,Hathmuchdeform’dus,fashioningourhumoursEventotheopposedendofourintents:

  Andwhatinushathseem’dridiculous,——

  Asloveisfullofunbefittingstrains,Allwantonasachild,skippingandvain,Form’dbytheeyeandtherefore,liketheeye,Fullofstrangeshapes,ofhabitsandofforms,VaryinginsubjectsastheeyedothrollToeveryvariedobjectinhisglance:

  Whichparti—coatedpresenceoflooselovePutonbyus,if,inyourheavenlyeyes,Havemisbecomedouroathsandgravities,Thoseheavenlyeyes,thatlookintothesefaults,Suggestedustomake。Therefore,ladies,Ourlovebeingyours,theerrorthatlovemakesIslikewiseyours:wetoourselvesprovefalse,BybeingoncefalseforevertobetrueTothosethatmakeusboth,——fairladies,you:

  Andeventhatfalsehood,initselfasin,Thuspurifiesitselfandturnstograce。PRINCESSWehavereceivedyourlettersfulloflove;

  Yourfavours,theambassadorsoflove;

  And,inourmaidencouncil,ratedthemAtcourtship,pleasantjestandcourtesy,Asbombastandasliningtothetime:

  ButmoredevoutthanthisinourrespectsHavewenotbeen;andthereforemetyourlovesIntheirownfashion,likeamerriment。DUMAINOurletters,madam,show’dmuchmorethanjest。LONGAVILLESodidourlooks。ROSALINEWedidnotquotethemso。FERDINANDNow,atthelatestminuteofthehour,Grantusyourloves。PRINCESSAtime,methinks,tooshortTomakeaworld—without—endbargainin。

  No,no,mylord,yourgraceisperjuredmuch,Fullofdearguiltiness;andthereforethis:

  Ifformylove,asthereisnosuchcause,Youwilldoaught,thisshallyoudoforme:

  YouroathIwillnottrust;butgowithspeedTosomeforlornandnakedhermitage,Remotefromallthepleasuresoftheworld;

  TherestayuntilthetwelvecelestialsignsHavebroughtabouttheannualreckoning。

  IfthisaustereinsociablelifeChangenotyouroffermadeinheatofblood;

  Iffrostsandfasts,hardlodgingandthinweedsNipnotthegaudyblossomsofyourlove,Butthatitbearthistrialandlastlove;

  Then,attheexpirationoftheyear,Comechallengeme,challengemebythesedeserts,And,bythisvirginpalmnowkissingthineIwillbethine;andtillthatinstantshutMywoefulselfupinamourninghouse,RainingthetearsoflamentationFortheremembranceofmyfather’sdeath。

  Ifthisthoudodeny,letourhandspart,Neitherentitledintheother’sheart。FERDINANDIfthis,ormorethanthis,Iwoulddeny,Toflatterupthesepowersofminewithrest,Thesuddenhandofdeathcloseupmineeye!

  Henceeverthenmyheartisinthybreast。DUMAINButwhattome,mylove?butwhattome?Awife?KATHARINEAbeard,fairhealth,andhonesty;

  Withthree—foldloveIwishyouallthesethree。DUMAINO,shallIsay,Ithankyou,gentlewife?KATHARINENotso,mylord;atwelvemonthandadayI’llmarknowordsthatsmooth—facedwooerssay:

  Comewhenthekingdothtomyladycome;

  Then,ifIhavemuchlove,I’llgiveyousome。DUMAINI’llservetheetrueandfaithfullytillthen。KATHARINEYetswearnot,lestyebeforswornagain。LONGAVILLEWhatsaysMaria?MARIAAtthetwelvemonth’sendI’llchangemyblackgownforafaithfulfriend。LONGAVILLEI’llstaywithpatience;butthetimeislong。MARIAThelikeryou;fewtalleraresoyoung。BIRONStudiesmylady?mistress,lookonme;

  Beholdthewindowofmyheart,mineeye,Whathumblesuitattendsthyanswerthere:

  Imposesomeserviceonmeforthylove。ROSALINEOfthaveIheardofyou,myLordBiron,BeforeIsawyou;andtheworld’slargetongueProclaimsyouforamanrepletewithmocks,Fullofcomparisonsandwoundingflouts,WhichyouonallestateswillexecuteThatliewithinthemercyofyourwit。

  Toweedthiswormwoodfromyourfruitfulbrain,Andtherewithaltowinme,ifyouplease,WithoutthewhichIamnottobewon,YoushallthistwelvemonthtermfromdaytodayVisitthespeechlesssickandstillconverseWithgroaningwretches;andyourtaskshallbe,WithallthefierceendeavorofyourwitToenforcethepainedimpotenttosmile。BIRONTomovewildlaughterinthethroatofdeath?

  Itcannotbe;itisimpossible:

  Mirthcannotmoveasoulinagony。ROSALINEWhy,that’sthewaytochokeagibingspirit,WhoseinfluenceisbegotofthatloosegraceWhichshallowlaughinghearersgivetofools:

  Ajest’sprosperityliesintheearOfhimthathearsit,neverinthetongueOfhimthatmakesit:then,ifsicklyears,Deaf’dwiththeclamoursoftheirowndeargroans,Willhearyouridlescorns,continuethen,AndIwillhaveyouandthatfaultwithal;

  Butiftheywillnot,throwawaythatspirit,AndIshallfindyouemptyofthatfault,Rightjoyfulofyourreformation。BIRONAtwelvemonth!well;befallwhatwillbefall,I’lljestatwelvemonthinanhospital。PRINCESS[ToFERDINAND]Ay,sweetmylord;andsoItakemyleave。FERDINANDNo,madam;wewillbringyouonyourway。BIRONOurwooingdothnotendlikeanoldplay;

  JackhathnotJill:theseladies’courtesyMightwellhavemadeoursportacomedy。FERDINANDCome,sir,itwantsatwelvemonthandaday,Andthen’twillend。BIRONThat’stoolongforaplay。

  Re—enterDONADRIANODEARMADO

  DONADRIANODEARMADOSweetmajesty,vouchsafeme,——PRINCESSWasnotthatHector?DUMAINTheworthyknightofTroy。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOIwillkissthyroyalfinger,andtakeleave。Iamavotary;IhavevowedtoJaquenettatoholdtheploughforhersweetlovethreeyears。But,mostesteemedgreatness,willyouhearthedialoguethatthetwolearnedmenhavecompiledinpraiseoftheowlandthecuckoo?Itshouldhavefollowedintheendofourshow。FERDINANDCallthemforthquickly;wewilldoso。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOHolla!approach。

  Re—enterHOLOFERNES,SIRNATHANIEL,MOTH,COSTARD,andothersThissideisHiems,Winter,thisVer,theSpring;

  theonemaintainedbytheowl,theotherbythecuckoo。Ver,begin。

  THESONG

  SPRING。

  WhendaisiespiedandvioletsblueAndlady—smocksallsilver—whiteAndcuckoo—budsofyellowhueDopaintthemeadowswithdelight,Thecuckoothen,oneverytree,Mocksmarriedmen;forthussingshe,Cuckoo;

  Cuckoo,cuckoo:Owordoffear,Unpleasingtoamarriedear!

  WhenshepherdspipeonoatenstrawsAndmerrylarksareploughmen’sclocks,Whenturtlestread,androoks,anddaws,AndmaidensbleachtheirsummersmocksThecuckoothen,oneverytree,Mocksmarriedmen;forthussingshe,Cuckoo;

  Cuckoo,cuckoo:Owordoffear,Unpleasingtoamarriedear!

  WINTER。

  WhenicicleshangbythewallAndDicktheshepherdblowshisnailAndTombearslogsintothehallAndmilkcomesfrozenhomeinpail,Whenbloodisnipp’dandwaysbefoul,Thennightlysingsthestaringowl,Tu—whit;

  Tu—who,amerrynote,WhilegreasyJoandothkeelthepot。

  WhenallaloudthewinddothblowAndcoughingdrownstheparson’ssawAndbirdssitbroodinginthesnowAndMarian’snoselooksredandraw,Whenroastedcrabshissinthebowl,Thennightlysingsthestaringowl,Tu—whit;

  Tu—who,amerrynote,WhilegreasyJoandothkeelthepot。

  DONADRIANODEARMADOThewordsofMercuryareharshafterthesongsofApollo。Youthatway:wethisway。

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