FRIVOLOUSCUPID
BY
SIRANTHONYHOPEHAWKINS
（ANTHONYHOPE，PSEUD。）
CONTENTS
I。RELUCTANCE
II。WHYMENDON’TMARRY
III。ACHANGEOFHEART
IV。AREPENTANTSINNER
V。’TWIXTWILLANDWILLNOT
VI。WHICHSHALLITBE？
VII。MARRIAGEBYCOMPULSION
VIII。ALL’SWELLTHATENDSWELL
Cupid，ImettheeyesterdayWithanemptyquiver，ComingfromClarinda’shouseBythereedyriver。
AndIsawClarindastandNearthepansies，weeping，WithherhandsuponherbreastAllthinearrowskeeping。
FRIVOLOUSCUPID。
————
I。
————
RELUCTANCE。
I。
Neitherlifenorthelawn—tennisclubwassofullatNatterleythatthenewsofHarrySterling’sreturnhadnotsomeimportance。
Hecameback，moreover，toassumeapositionverydifferentfromhisoldone。HehadleftHarrownow，departinginthesweetaromaofalongscoreagainstEtonatLord’s，andwastogouptoOxfordinOctober。NowbetweenaschoolboyandaUniversitymanthereisagulf，indicatedunmistakablybythecigarettewhichadornedHarry’smouthashewalkeddownthestreetwithanewlyacquiescentfather，andthoroughlyrealizedbyhisoldplaymates。Theyoungmengreetedhimasanequal，theboysgrudginglyacceptedhissuperiority，andthegirlsreceivedhimmuchasthoughtheyhadnevermethimbeforeintheirlivesandwerepressinglyinneedofanintroduction。ThesefeaturesofhisreappearanceamusedMrs。Mortimer；sherecollectedhimasanuntidy，shy，prettyboy；butmind，workingonmatter，hadsotransformedhimthatshewasdoubtfulenoughabouthimtoaskherhusbandifthatwerereallyHarrySterling。
Mr。Mortimer，moppinghisbaldheadafteroneofhisenergeticfailuresatlawntennis，gruntedassent，andremarkedthatafewyearsmorewouldseealikedevelopmentintheirelderson，aremarkwhichborderedonabsurdity；forJohnnywasbuteight，andtenyearsarenotafewyearstoaladyoftwenty—eight，whatevertheymayseemtoamanofforty—four。
PresentlyHarry，shakinghimselffreefromanentanglinggroupoftheVicaragegirls，joinedhisfather，andthetwocameacrosstoMrs。Mortimer。
ShewasafavoriteofoldSterling’s，andhewasproudtopresenthishandsomesontoher。Shelistenedgraciouslytohisjocosities，stealingaglanceatHarrywhenhisfathercalledhim\"agoodboy。\"Harryblushedandassumedanairofindifference，tossinghishairbackfromhissmoothforehead，andswinginghisracketcarelesslyinhishand。Theladyaddressedsomewordsofpatronizingkindnesstohim，seekingtoputhimathisease。Sheseemedtosucceedtosomeextent，forhelethisfatherandherhusbandgoofftogether，andsatdownbyheronthebench，regardlessofthefactthattheVicaragegirlswerewaitingforhimtomakeafourth。
Hesaidnothing，andMrs。Mortimerlookedathimfromunderherlonglashes；insodoingshediscoveredthathewaslookingather。
\"Aren’tyougoingtoplayanymore，Mr。Sterling？\"sheasked。
\"Whyaren’tyouplaying？\"herejoined。
\"MyhusbandsaysIplaytoobadly。\"
\"Oh，playwithme!Weshallmakeagoodpair。\"
\"Thenyoumustbeverygood。\"
\"Well，noonecanplayahanghere，youknow。BesidesI’msureyou’reallright，really。\"
\"Youforgetmyweightofyears。\"
Heopenedhisblueeyesalittle，andlaughed。Hewas，infact，astonishedtofindthatshewasquiteayoungwoman。RememberingoldMortimerandthebabies，hehadthoughtofherasfullmiddle—aged。Butshewasnot；norhadshethatlikenesstoasuetpudding，whichhisnewborncriticalfacultycruellydetectedinhisoldfriends，theVicaragegirls。
Therewasoneofthem——Maudie——withwhomhehadflirtedinhisholidays；hewonderedatthat，especiallywhenarelentlessmemorytoldhimthatMrs。Mortimermusthavebeenatthepartieswherethethingwenton。Hefeltverymucholder，somucholderthatMrs。Mortimerbecameatonceacontemporary。
Why，then，shouldshebegin，asshenowdid，totalktohim，inquasimaternalfashion，abouthisprospects？Mendon’thaveprospects，or，anyhow，aresparedquestioningsthereon。
Eitherfromimpatienceofthistopic，orbecause，afterall，tenniswasnottobeneglected，helefther，andshesataloneforalittlewhile，watchinghimplay。Shewasgladthatshehadnotplayed；shecouldnothaverivaledtheactivityoftheVicaragegirls。ShegotupandjoinedMrs。Sterling，whowaspresidingovertheclubteapot。Thegoodladyexpectedcomplimentsonherson，butforsomereasonMrs。Mortimergavehernone。Verysoon，indeed，shetookJohnnieawaywithher，leavingherhusbandtofollowathisleisure。
IncomparingMaudieSinclairtoasuetpudding，Harryhadlookedatthedarksideofthematter。
Thesuggestion，thoughindisputable，wasonlyoccasionallyobtrusive，andasarulehushedalmosttosilencebythepleasantgoodnaturewhichredeemedshapelessfeatures。Mrs。MortimerhadalwayslikedMaudie，whoraninandoutofherhousecontinually，andhadmadeofherselfavice—mothertothelittlechildren。
Theverynextdayshecame，and，intheintervalsofplayingcricketwithJohnnie，tookoccasiontoinformMrs。MortimerthatinheropinionHarrySterlingwasbynomeansimprovedbyhisnewstatusanddignity。Shewentsofarastousetheterm\"stuck—
up。\"\"Hedidn’tusetobelikethat，\"shesaid，shakingherhead；\"heusedtobeveryjolly。\"Mrs。Mortimerwasrelievedtonoteanentireabsenceofromanceeitherintheregrettedpastorthecondemnedpresent。Maudiemournedafriendspoiled，notanadmirerlost；thetoneofhercriticismsleftnodoubtofit，andMrs。Mortimer，withalaugh，announcedherintentionofaskingtheSterlingstodinnerandhavingMaudietomeetthem。\"Youwillbeabletomakeitupthen，\"saidshe。
\"Why，Iseehimeverydayatthetennisclub，\"criedMaudieinsurprise。
ThefaintestofblushestingedMrs。Mortimer’scheekasshechidherselfforforgettingthisobviousfact。
Thesituationnowdevelopedrapidly。Theabsurdthinghappened：
HarrySterlingbegantotakeaseriousviewofhisattachmenttoMrs。Mortimer。Theonethingmoreabsurd，thatsheshouldtakeaseriousviewofit，hadnothappenedyet，and，indeed，wouldneverhappen；soshetoldherselfwithanervouslittlelaugh。
Harrygavehernoopportunityofsayingsotohim，foryoucannotreproveglancesordiscouragepressingsofyourhandinfashionsoblunt。
Andhewasverydiscreet：henevermadeherlookfoolish。Inpublichetreatedherwithjustthedegreeofattentionthatgainedhismother’sfondeulogium，andhisfather’sapprovingsmile；whileMr。Mortimer，whowenttoLondonatnineo’clockeverymorninganddidnotreturntillseven，wasveryseldombotheredbyfindingtheyoungfellowhangingaboutthehouse。
Certainlyhecameprettyfrequentlybetweenthehoursnamed，butitwas，asthechildrencouldhavewitnessed，toplaywiththem。
And，throughhiscomingsandgoings，Mrs。Mortimermovedwithpleasure，vexation，self—contempt，andeagerness。
OnenightsheandherhusbandwenttodinewiththeSterlings。
AfterdinnerMr。Mortimeracceptedhishost’sinvitationtostayforasmoke。Hesawnodifficultyinhiswifewalkinghomealone；itwasbuthalfamile，andthenightwasfineandmoonlit。Mrs。Mortimermadenodifficultyeither，butMrs。
SterlingwassurethatHarrywouldbedelightedtoseeMrs。
Mortimertoherhouse。
Shelikedtheboytolearnhabitsofpoliteness，shesaid，andhisfathereagerlyprofferedhisescort，wavingasideMrs。
Mortimer’sprotestthatshewouldnotthinkoftroublingMr。
Harry；throughoutwhichconversationHarrysaidnothingatall，butstoodsmiling，withhishatinhishand，thepictureofanobedient，well—manneredyouth。Therearegenerallytwowaysanywhere，andthereweretwofromtheSterlings’totheMortimers’：theshortonethroughthevillage，andthelongoneroundbythelaneandacrosstheChurchmeadow。ThepathdivergingtothelatterroutecomesverysoonafteryouleavetheSterlings’，andnotawordhadpassedwhenMrs。MortimerandHarryreachedit。Stillwithoutaword，Harryturnedofftofollowthepath。Mrs。Mortimerglancedathim；Harrysmiled。
\"It’smuchlonger，\"shesaid。
\"There’slotsoftime，\"rejoinedHarry，\"andit’ssuchajollynight。\"Thebettertoenjoythenight’sbeauty，heslackenedhispacetoaverycrawl。
\"It’sratherdark；won’tyoutakemyarm？\"hesaid。
\"Whatnonsense!Why，Icouldseetoread!\"
\"ButI’msureyou’retired。\"
\"Howabsurdyouare!Wasitagreatbore？\"
\"What？\"
\"Why，coming。\"
\"No，\"saidHarry。
Insuchaffairsmonosyllablesaredangersignals。Alongprotestationmighthavemeantnothing：inthisshort，sufficientnegativeMrs。Mortimerrecognizedtheboy’ssincerity。Alittlethrillofprideandshame，andperhapssomethingelse，ranthroughher。Thenightwashotandsheunfastenedtheclaspofhercloak，breathingatriflequickly。Torelievethesilence，shesaid，withalaugh：
\"Youseewepoormarriedwomenhavetodependoncharity。Ourhusbandsdon’tcaretowalkhomewithus。Yourfatherwasbentonyourcoming。\"
Harrylaughedashortlaugh；theutterdarknessofMr。Sterling’sconditionstruckthroughhisagitationdowntohissenseofhumor。Mrs。Mortimersmiledathim；shecouldnothelpit：thesecretbetweenthemwassopleasanttoher，evenwhileshehatedherselfforitsexistence。
Theyhadreachedthemeadownow，halfwaythroughtheirjourney。
AlittlegateledintoitandHarrystopped，leaninghisarmonthetoprail。
\"Oh，no!wemustgoon，\"shemurmured。
\"Theywon’tmoveforanhouryet，\"heanswered，andthenhesuddenlybrokeout：
\"How——howfunnyitis!Ihardlyrememberedyou，youknow。\"
\"Oh，butIrememberedyou，aprettylittleboy；\"andshelookedupathisface，halfafootaboveher。Merestaturehasmucheffectandthelittleboystageseemedveryfaraway。Andheknewthatitdid，forheputouthishandtotakehers。Shedrewback。
\"No，\"shesaid。
Harryblushed。Shetookholdofthegateandhe，yieldinghisplace，letherpassthrough。Foraminuteortwotheywalkedoninsilence。
\"Oh，howsillyyouare!\"shecriedthen，beginningwithalaughandendingwithastrangecatchinherthroat。\"Why，you’reonlyjustoutofknickerbockers!\"
\"Idon’tcare，Idon’tcare，Hilda————\"
\"Hush，hush!Oh，indeed，youmustbequiet!See，wearenearlyhome。\"
Heseizedherhand，nottobequelledthistime，and，bendinglowoverit，kissedit。Shedidnotdrawitaway，butwatchedhimwithacurious，painedsmile。Helookedupinherface，hisownglowingwithexcitement。Herightedhimselftohisfullstatureand，fromthatstooping，kissedheronthelips。
\"Oh，yousillyboy!\"shemoaned，andfoundherselfaloneinthemeadow。Hehadgoneswiftlybackbythewaytheyhadcome，andshewentontoherhome。
\"Well，theboysawyouhome？\"askedMr。Mortimerwhenhearrivedhalfanhourlater。
\"Yes，\"shesaid，raisingherheadfromthecushionsofthesofaonwhichhefoundherlying。
\"Isupposedso，buthedidn’tcomeintothesmoking—roomwhenhegotback。Wentstraighttobed，Iexpect。He’sanice—manneredyoungfellow，isn’the？\"
\"Oh，very!\"saidMrs。Mortimer。
II。
Mr。Mortimerhadneverbeensolookedafter，cosseted，andcomfortedforhisearlystartasthenextmorning，northechildrenfoundtheirmothersopatientandaffectionate。Shewasinanabasementofshameanddisgustatherself，andquiteunabletotreathertransgressionlightly。Thathewasaboyandshe——
notagirl——seemedtochargeherwithhisaswellasherownsins，and，besidesthismoralaggravation，entailedaloweranxietyastohisdiscretionandsecrecythatdroveherhalfmadwithworry。Supposeheshouldboastofit!Or，ifhewerenotbadenoughforthat，onlysupposeheshouldbecarriedawayintocarelessnessaboutit!Hehadnothingtofearworsethanwhathewouldcall\"awigging\"andperhapssummarydismissaltoatutor’s：shehadmoreatriskthanshecouldbeartothinkof。
Probably，bynow，herecognizedhisfoolishness，andlaughedathimselfandher。Thisthoughtmadehernohappier，formenmaydoallthat——andyet，veryoften，theydonotstop。
ShehadtogotoapartyattheVicarageintheafternoon。Harrywouldbesuretobethere，and，withaconflictoffeelingfindingexpressioninheracts，sheprotectedherselfbytakingallthechildren，whilesheinconsistentlydressedherselfinhermostyouthfulandcoquettishcostume。ShefoundherselfalmostgrudgingJohnniehisrapidlyincreasinginches，evenwhileshereliedonhimforanassertionofherpositionasamatron。Forthefollyoflastnightwastobeoveranddonewith，andheracquaintancewithHarrySterlingtoreturntoitsonlypossiblesanebasis；thatshewasresolvedon，butshewantedHarryhonestly——evenkeenly——toregretherdetermination。
HewastalkingtoMaudieSinclairwhenshearrived；hetookoffhishat，butdidnotallowhiseyestomeethers。Shegatheredherchildrenroundher，andsatdownamongthechaperons。Mrs。
Sterlingcameandtalkedtoher；diviningasympathy，thegoodmotherhadmuchtosayofherson，ofherhopesandherfearsforhim；somanydangersbesetyoungmen，especiallyiftheywereattractive，likeHarry；thereweredebts，idleness，fastmen，and——worstofall——thereweredesigningwomen，readytoimposeonandruintheinnocenceofyouth。
\"He’sbeensuchagoodboytillnow，\"saidMrs。Sterling，\"but，ofcourse，hisfatherandIfeelanxious。Ifwecouldonlykeephimhere，outofharm’sway，underourowneyes!\"
Mrs。Mortimermurmuredconsolation。
\"Howkindofyou!Andyourinfluenceissogoodforhim。Hethinkssuchalotofyou，Hilda。\"
Mrs。Mortimer，triedtoohard，roseandstrolledaway。Harry’ssetseemedtoendalmostdirectly，andamomentlaterhewasshakinghandswithher，stillkeepinghiseyesawayfromhers。
Shemadehergraspcoldandinanimate，andhedivinedthedispleasureshemeanttoindicate。
\"Youmustgoandplayagain，\"shesaid，\"ortalktothegirls。
Youmustn’tcomeandtalktome。\"
\"Whynot!HowcanIhelpit——now？\"
Thelaughingatherandhimselfhadevidentlynotcome，but，badasthatwouldhavebeentobear，histonethreatenedsomethingworse。
\"Don’t，\"sheansweredsharply。\"I’mveryangry。Youwereveryunkindand——andungentlemanlylastnight。\"
Heflushedcrimson。
\"Didn’tyoulikeit？\"heasked，withtheterriblesimplicityofhisyouth。
Forallhertrouble，shehadtobiteherliptohideasmile。
Whataquestiontoask——justinsomanywords!
\"Itwasvery，verywicked，and，ofcourse，Ididn’tlikeit，\"
sheanswered。\"Oh，Harry!don’tyouknowhowwickeditwas？\"
\"Oh，yes!Iknowthat，ofcourse，\"saidhe，pickingatthestrawofhishat，whichhewascarryinginhishand。
\"Well，then!\"shesaid。
\"Icouldn’thelpit。\"
\"Youmusthelpit。Oh，don’tyouknow——oh，it’sabsurd!I’myearsolderthanyou。\"
\"Youlookedso——soawfullypretty。\"
\"Ican’tstandtalkingtoyou。They’llallsee。\"
\"Oh，it’sallright。You’reafriendofmother’s，youknow。I
say，whenshallIbeabletoseeyouagain——alone，youknow？\"
Mrs。Mortimerwaswithinanaceofaburstoftears。Heseemednottoknowthathemadeherfaintwithshame，andmadwithexultation，andbewilderedwithterrorallinamoment。Hisnewmanhoodtooknoheed，saveofitself。Wasthisbeingoutofharm’sway，undertheeyesofthosepoorblindparents？
\"If——ifyoucaretheleastforme——forwhatIwish，goaway，Harry，\"shewhispered。
Helookedatherinwonder，but，withafrownonhisface，didashewastold。Fiveminuteslaterhewasplayingagain；sheheardhimshout\"Thirty——love，\"asheserved，anoteoftriumphantbattleinhisvoice。Shebelievedthatshewasaltogetheroutofhisthoughts。
Herhusbandwastodineintownthatnight，and，forsheerprotection，shemadeMaudieSinclaircomeandsharehereveningmeal。Thechildrenwereputtobed，andtheysatdownalonetogether，talkingovertheparty。MaudiewaspleasedtorelaxalittleofherseveritytowardHarrySterling；sheadmittedthathehadbeenveryusefulinarrangingthesets，andverypleasanttoeveryone。
\"Ofcourse，he’sconceited，\"shesaid，\"butallboysare。He’llgetoverit。\"
\"Youtalkasifyouwereahundred，Maudie，\"laughedMrs。
Mortimer。\"He’solderthanyouare。\"
\"Oh，butboysaremuchyoungerthangirls，Mrs。Mortimer。HarrySterling’squiteaboystill。\"
Aknocksoundedatthedoor。Aminutelatertheboywalkedin。
ThesightofMaudieSinclairproducedamomentarystart，butherecoveredhimselfanddeliveredanotefromhismother，theexcuseforhisvisit。Itwasaninvitationforafewdaysahead；
therecouldcertainlyhavebeennohurryforittoarrivethatnight。WhileMrs。Mortimerreadit，Harrysatdownandlookedather。Shewasobligedtotreathisarrivalasunimportant，andinvitedhimtohaveaglassofwine。
\"Whyareyouineveningdress？\"askedMaudiewonderingly。
\"Fordinner，\"answeredHarry。
\"Doyoudresswhenyou’realoneathome？\"
\"Generally。Mostmendo。\"
Maudieallowedherselftolaugh。Mrs。Mortimersawthejoke，too，butitsamusementwasbittertoher。
\"Ilikeit，\"shesaidgently。\"MostofthemenIknowdoit。\"
\"Yourhusbanddoesn’t，\"observedMissSinclair。
\"PoorGeorgegetsdownfromtownsotired。\"
ShegaveHarrythereplyshehadwritten（itwasarefusal——shecouldnothavetoldwhy），butheseemednottounderstandthathewastogo。Beforeheapprehended，shehadtogivehimasignificantglance；shegaveitindreadofMaudie’seyes。Sheknewhowsharpschoolgirls’eyesareinsuchthings。WhetherMaudiesawitornot，Harrydid；hesprangtohisfeetandsaidgood—night。
Maudiewasnotlongafterhim。Theconversationlanguished，andtherewasnothingtokeepher。Withanhonestyawnshetookherleave。Mrs。Mortimeraccompaniedherdownthegardentothegate。Asshewent，shebecametoherstartledhorrorawareofathirdpersoninthegarden。ShegotridofMaudieassoonasshecould，andturnedbacktothehouse。Harry，emergingfrombehindatree，stoodbeforeher。
\"Iknowwhatyou’regoingtosay，\"hesaiddoggedly，\"butI
couldn’thelpit。Iwasdyingtoseeyouagain。\"Shespreadoutherhandsasthoughtopushhimaway。Shewaslikeafrightenedgirl。
\"Oh，you’remad!\"shewhispered。\"Youmustgo。Supposeanyoneshouldcome。Supposemyhusband————\"
\"Ican’thelpit。Iwon’tstaylong。\"
\"Harry，Harry，don’tbecruel!You’llruinme，Harry。Ifyouloveme，go——ifyouloveme。\"
Evennowhehardlyfathomedherdistress，butshehadmadehimunderstandthatthisspotandthistimeweretoodangerous。
\"TellmewhereIcanseeyousafely，\"heasked，almostdemanded。
\"Youcanseemesafely——nowhere。\"
\"Nowhere？Youmeanthatyouwon’t————\"
\"Harry，comehereaminute——there——nocloser。Ijustwanttobeabletotouchyourhair。Goaway，dear——yes，Isaid`dear。’
Dopleasegoaway。You——youwon’tbeanyhappierafterwardforhaving——if——ifyoudon’tgoaway。\"
Hestoodirresolutelystill。Herfingerslightlytouchedhishair，andthenherarmdroppedatherside。Hesawatearrundownhercheek。Suddenlyhisownfaceturnedcrimson。
\"I’m——I’mverysorry，\"hemuttered。\"Ididn’tmean————\"
\"Good—night。I’mgoingin。\"
Sheheldoutherhand。Againhebentandkissedit，and，ashedidso，hefeltthelighttouchofherlipsamonghishair。
\"I’msuchafoolish，foolishwoman，\"shewhispered，\"butyou’reagentleman，Harry，\"andshedrewherhandawayandlefthim。
Twodayslatershetookherchildrenofftotheseaside。AndtheMortimersnevercamebacktoNatterley。ShewroteandtoldMrs。
SterlingthatGeorgewantedtobenearerhisworkintown，andthattheyhadgonetoliveatWimbledon。
\"Howweshallmissher!\"exclaimedgoodMrs。Sterling。\"PoorHarry!what’llhesay？\"
III。
Oneday，atBrighton，somesixyearslater，aladyinwidow’sweeds，accompaniedbyalong，loose—limbedboyoffourteen，wastakingtheairbythesea。Theplacewasfullofpeople，andthescenegay。
Mrs。MortimersatdownonaseatandJohnniestoodidlybyher。
Presentlyayoungmanandagirlcamealong。Whiletheywerestillalongwayoff，Mrs。Mortimer，whowaslookinginthatdirection，suddenlyleanedforward，startedalittle，andlookedhardatthem。Johnnie，noticingnothing，whistledunconcernedly。
Thecoupledrewnear。Mrs。Mortimersatwithafaintsmileonherface。Thegirlwaschattingmerrilytotheyoungman，andhelistenedtoherandlaughedeverynowandthen，buthisbrighteyeswerenotfixedonher，butwerehere，there，andeverywhere，wheremetalattractivetosucheyesmightbefound。
ThediscursivemoodoftheeyessomehowpleasedMrs。Mortimer。
Justastheyoungmancameoppositeher，heglancedinherdirection。
Mrs。Mortimerworethecurious，half—indifferent，half—expectantairofonereadyforrecognition，butnotclaimingitasaright。
Atthefirstglance，apuzzledlookcameintotheyoungman’seyes。Helookedagain：thentherewasablankinhiseyes。Mrs。
Mortimermadenosign，butsatstill，half—expectant。Hewaspasthernow，butheflungalastglanceoverhisshoulder。Hewasevidentlyverydoubtfulwhethertheladyontheseat，intheheavymourningrobes，weresomeoneheknewornot。Firsthethoughtshewas，andthenhethoughtshewasn’t。Thefacecertainlyremindedhimof——nowwhothedeucewasit？Harryknithisbrowsandexclaimed：
\"Ihalfbelievethat’ssomebodyIknow!\"
Andhepuzzledoverit，fornearlyfiveminutes，allinvain。
MeanwhileMrs。Mortimerlookedatthesea，tillJohnnietoldherthatitwasdinner—time。
II。
WHYMENDON’TMARRY。
WeweresittingaroundthefireatColonelHolborow’s。Dinnerwasover——had，infact，beenoverforsometime——thehourofsmoke，whisky，andconfidencehadarrived，andwehadbeentellingoneanotherthevariousreasonswhichaccountedforourbeingunmarried，forwewereallbachelorsexceptthecolonel，andhehad，asavariety，toldthereasonswhyhewishedhewasunmarried（hiswifewasaway）。JackDexter，however，hadnotspoken，anditwasonlyinresponsetoadirectappealthatherelatedthefollowingstory。Thestorymaybetrueoruntrue，butImustremarkthatJackalwayshadratheraweaknessforrepresentinghimselfontermsofcondescendingintimacywiththenobilityandevengreaterfolk。
Jacksigheddeeply。Therewasasympatheticsilence。Thenhebegan：
\"Forsomereasonbestknowntoherself，\"saidJack，withapatientshrugofhisshoulders，\"theDuchessofMedmenham（I
don’tknowwhetheranyofyoufellowsknowher）chosetoobjecttomeasasuitorforthehandofherdaughter，MaryFitzmoine。
Thewomanwassoignorantthatshemayreallyhavethoughtthatmybirthwasnotequaltoherdaughter’s；butalltheworldknowsthattheMunnswereyeomentwohundredyearsago，andthatherGrace’sfamilyhailsfromastuccovillaintheneighborhoodofCardiff。However，theduchessdidobject；andwhentheseason（inthecourseofwhichIhadmetLadyMarymanytimes）ended，insteadofallowingherdaughtertopayaseriesofvisitsathouseswhereIhadarrangedtobe，shesentherofftoSwitzerland，underthecareofadragonwhomshehadengagedtokeepmeandotherdangerousfellowsataproperdistance。OnhearingofwhathadhappenedfromGeorgeFitzmoine（anintimatefriendofmine），Iatoncethrewupmyvisitsandstartedinpursuit。IfeltconfidentthatLadyMarywasfavorablyinclined（infact，Ihadcertainproofswhich——butnomatter），andthatifIwonherheartIcouldbreakdowntheoldlady’sopposition。I
shouldcertainlyhavesucceededinmyenterprise，andbeenatthismomentthehusbandofoneofthemostbeautifulgirlsinEngland，butforaverycuriousandunfortunatecircumstance，whichplacedmeinanunfavorablelightinMary’seyes。Iwasnottoblame；itwasjustabitofbadluck。
\"IrangedovermostofSwitzerlandinsearchofLadyMary。
WhereverIwentIaskedabouther，andatlastIgotuponthetrack。AtInterlakenIfoundhernameinthevisitors’book，togetherwiththatofaMissDibbs，whomItooktobethedragon。
Iquestionedtheporterandfoundthatthetwoladieshad，theafternoonbefore，hiredacarriageanddriventoaquietlittlevillagesomefifteenmilesoff，wheretherewasasmallbutgoodinn。Heretheyevidentlymeanttostay，forlettersweretobesentafterthemthereforthenextweek。Theplacewasdescribedtomeasprettyandretired；itseemed，therefore，anidealspotformypurpose。Imadeupmymindatonce。I
startedthenextdayafterluncheon，tookthejourneyeasily，andcameinsightofthelittleinnaboutseveno’clockintheevening。Allwentwell。TheonlyquestionwasastothedispositionofMissDibbstowardme。Iprayedthatshemightturnouttobearomanticdragon；but，incasesheshouldproveobstinate，Imademyapproacheswithallpossiblecaution。WhenmycarriagestoppedatthedoorIjumpedout。Theheadwaiter，abigfellowinawhitewaistcoat，wasonthesteps。Idrewhimaside，andtookaten—francpiecefrommypocket。
\"`Isthereayoungladystayinghere？’Iasked。`Tall，fair，handsome？’andIslidthepieceofgoldintohispalm。
\"`Well，yes，sir，’hesaid，`thereisayounglady，andsheisallthatyousay，sir。Pardonme，MonsieurisEnglish？’
\"`Yes，’saidI。
\"`Ah，’saidhe，smilingmysteriously。`AnditisWednesday。’
\"`ItiscertainlyWednesday，’Iadmitted，thoughIdidnotseethatthedayoftheweekmatteredmuch。
\"Hecameclosetomeandwhispered：
\"`Theladythoughtyoumightcome，sir。Ithinksheexpectsyou，sir。Oh，youcanrelyonmydiscretion，sir。’
\"Iwasrathersurprised，butnotverymuch，forIhadhintedtoGeorgeFitzmoinethatImeanttotrymyluck，andIsupposedthathehadpassedmyhintontohissister。Mypredominantfeelingwasoneofgratification。Marylovedme!Maryexpectedme!
TherewascompletementalsympathybetweenMaryandmyself!
\"Iwentuptomyroominastateofgreatcontentment。Ihadbeenthereabouthalfanhourwhenmyfriendthewaitercamein。Advancingtowardmewithamysteriousair，hetookablankenvelopeoutofhispocketandhelditupbeforemewitharoguishsmile。
\"`Monsieurwillknowthehandwritinginside，’hesaidcunningly。
\"NowIhadnevercorrespondedwithLadyMary，andofcoursedidnotknowherhandwriting，butIsawnouseintellingthewaiterthat。Intruth，Ithoughtthefellowquitefamiliarenough。SoIsaidshortlyandwithsomehauteur：
\"`Givemethenote；’andItookanotherpieceofgoldoutofmypocket。Weexchangedourpossessions，thewaiterwithdrewwithawink，andItoreopenthepreciousnote。
\"`Whateveryoudo，’itran，`don’trecognizeme。IamWATCHED。
AssoonasIcanIwilltellyouwheretomeetme。Iknewyouwouldcome。——M。’
\"`Thedarling!’Iexclaimed。`She’sagirlofspirit。I’lltakegoodcarenottobetrayher。Oh，we’llcircumventoldDibbsbetweenus。’
\"Ateighto’clockIwentdowntothesalleamanger。Itwasquiteempty。MaryandMissDibbsnodoubtdinedintheirownsittingroom，andthereappearedtobenooneelseinthehotel。
However，whenIwashalfwaythroughmymeal，astylishlydressedyoungwomancameinandsatdownatatableattheendoftheroomfarthestfromwhereIwas。Ishouldhavenoticedhermore，butIwasinareverieaboutMary’sadmirablecharms，andIonlyjustlookedather；shewasfrowninganddrummingangrilywithherfingersonthetable。Theheadwaiterhurrieduptoher；hisfacewascoveredwithsmiles，andhegavemeaconfidentialnodenpassant。Nothingelseoccurredexceptthatavillainouslookingfellow——something，tojudgebyhisappearance，betweenavaletandasecretary——thrusthisuglyheadthroughthedoorthreeorfourtimes。Wheneverhedidsothewaitersmiledblandlyathim。Hediditthelasttimejustastheladywaswalkingdowntheroom。Seeinghercominghedrewbackandheldthedooropenforherwithaclumsy，apologeticbow。Shesmiledscornfullyandpassedthrough。Thewaiterstoodgrinninginthemiddleoftheroom，andwhenI，inmyturn，rose，hewhisperedtome，`It’sallright，sir。’IwenttobedanddreamedofMary。
\"OnenteringtheroomnextmorningthefirstpersonIsawwasMary。Shewaslookingadorablyfreshandpretty。Shesatoppositeastout，severe—lookingdameinblack。DirectlymyeyesalightedonherIschooledthemintoastudiouslyvacantexpression。She，poorgirl，wasnodiplomatist。Shestarted；
sheglancedanxiouslyatMissDibbs；Isawherlipsmove；sheblushed；sheseemedalmosttosmile。Ofcoursethisbehavior（I
lovedMarythemorethatshecouldnotconcealherdelightfulembarrassment!）excitedthedragon’scuriosity；sheturnedroundandfavoredmewithasearchinggaze。Iwasequaltotheoccasion。Icomprehendedthembothinalong，cool，deliberate，emptystare。Thestrainonmyself—controlwasimmense，butIsupportedit。Maryblushedcrimson，andhereyessanktoherplate。Poorgirl!Shehadsadlyoverratedherpowersofdeception。IwasnotsurprisedthatMissDibbsfrownedseverelyandsniffedaudibly。
\"Atthatmomenttheothergirlcamein。Shewalkedup，tookthetablenexttomine，and，tomyconfusion，bestoweduponmealookofevidentinterest，thoughoftheutmostshortness——oneofthoselooks，youknow，thatseemtoberepentedofinaninstant，andaregenerallythemostdeliberate。Itooknonoticeatall，assuminganairofentireunconsciousness。AfewminuteslaterMarygotupandmadeforthedoor，withMissDibbsincloseattendance。Theimprudentchildcouldnotforbeartoglanceatme；butI，seeingthedragon’swatchfuleyeuponme，remainedabsolutelyirresponsive。Nay，tothrowMissDibbsoffthescent，Ifixedmyeyesonmyneighborwithassumedpreoccupation。
Flushingpainfully，Maryhurriedout，andIheardMissDibbssniffagain。Ichuckledoverherobviousdisapprovalofmyneighborandmyself。Theexcellentwomanevidentlythoughtusnobetterthanweoughttobe!ButIfeltthatIshouldgomadifI
couldnotspeaktoMarysoon。
\"Iwentoutandsatdownintheveranda。Itwasthenabouthalf—
pastten。TheuglyfellowwhomIhadnoticedtheeveningbeforewashangingabout，butpresentlyawaitercameandspoketohim，andhegotupwithagrumbleandwentintothehouse。Tenminutesafterwardmyneighborofthesalleamangercameout。Shelookedverydiscontented。Sherangahandbellthatstoodonthetable，andawaiterranup。
\"`Where’stheheadwaiter？’sheaskedsharply。
\"`Pardon，ma’mselle，butheiswaitingonsomeladiesupstairs。’
\"`Whatanuisance!’saidshe。`Butyou’lldo。Iwanttogivehimanorder。Stay；comeindoorsandI’llwriteitdown。’
\"Shedisappeared，andIsaton，wonderinghowIwastogetasightofMary。Atlast，inweariness，Iwentindoorstothesmokingroom。Itlookedouttothebackandwasadrearylittleroom；butIlitmycigarandbeganonathreedays’oldcopyoftheTimes。ThusIspentatedioushour。Thenmyfriendtheheadwaiterappeared，lookingmoreroguishthanever。Idivedintomypocket，heproducedanote，Iseizedit。
\"`Whyhaveyoubeensolong？’（Charminglyunreasonable!whatcouldIhavedone？）`Directlyyougetthis，cometothewoodbehindthehotel。Takethepathtotherightandgostraighttillyoufindme。IhavethrowntheSPY[pooroldDibbs!]offthescent。——M。’
\"Icaughtupmyhatandrushedintothehall。Icannonedintoayoungmanwhohadjustgotoutofacarriageandwasstandingintheveranda。WithahastyapologyIdashedon。Beyonddoubtshelovedme!Andshewashonestenoughnottoconcealit。I
hatemockmodesty。IlongedtoshowherhowtrulyIreturnedherlove，andIrejoicedthatthereneedbenotediouspreliminaries。
MaryandIunderstoodoneanother。Akisswouldbethesealofourlove——andthemostsuitablebeginningofourconversation。
\"InfiveminutesIwasinthewood。JustbeforeIdisappearedamongitstreesIheardsomeonecalling`Monsieur，monsieur!’
Itsoundedlikethevoiceoftheheadwaiter，butIwouldn’thavestoppedforfiftyheadwaiters。ItookthepathMaryhadindicatedandranalongitatthetopofmyspeed。Suddenly，tomyjoy，Icaughtsightofthefigureofagirl；shewasseatedonamoundofgrass，and，thoughherfacewasfromme，ImadenodoubtitwasMary。Sheworethemostcharmingbluecloak（itwasachillymorning）whichcompletelyenvelopedher。Ideterminednottoshilly—shally。Shelovedme——Ilovedher。Iranforward，plumpeddownonmykneesbehindher，tookherheadbetweenmyhandsdodgedround，andkissedhercheek。
\"`Atlast，mydarling!’Icriedinpassionatetones。
\"ByJupiter，itwastheothergirl，though!
\"Isprangbackinhorror。Thegirllookedatmeforamoment。
Thensheblushed；thenshefrowned；then——why，thenshebegantolaughconsumedly。Iwasamazed。
\"`\"Atlast，\"youcallit，’shegasped。`Icallit\"atfirst\"’；
andshelaughedmerrilyandmelodiously。Shecertainlyhadanicelaugh，thatgirl。
\"Now，concerningwhatfollows，Ihave，sincethen，entertainedsomedoubtswhetherIbehavedinallrespectsdiscreetly。Youwillallowthatthepositionwasadifficultone，butitis，I
admit，verypossiblethatmywisestcoursewouldhavebeentomakeanapologyandturntailasquicklyasIcould。Well，I
didn’t。IthoughtthatIowedtheladyafullexplanation。
Besides，Iwantedafullexplanationmyself。Finally（oh，yes，Iseeyoufellowsgrinningandwinking），Marywasnotthere，andthisyoungladyratherinterestedme。IdecidedthatIwouldhavefiveminutes’talkwithher；thenIwouldrunbackandfindMary。
\"`Imustbegathousandpardons，’Ibegan，`butItookyouforsomebodyelse。\"
\"`Oh，ofcourse，’saidshe，withashrug，`it’salwaysthat。’
\"`Youappearincredulous，’saidI，ratheroffended。
\"`Well，andifIam？’saidshe。
\"Myfeelingswerehurt。IproducedMary’ssecondnote。
\"`IfIcantrusttoyourdiscretion，I’llprovewhatIsay，’I
remarkedinanettledtone。
\"`Ishallbeverycurioustoheartheproof，sir，andIwillbemostdiscreet，’shesaid。Shewaspouting，buthereyesdanced。
Really，shelookedverypretty——although，ofcourse，IwouldnotforamomentcompareherwithLadyMary。
\"`Alady，’saidI，`wassokindastotellmetoseekherherethismorning。’
\"`Oh，asifIbelievedthat!’
\"Iwaspiqued。
\"`There’stheproof，’Icried，flingingthenoteintoherlap。
\"Shetookitup，glancedatit，andgavealittleshriek。
\"`Wheredidyougetthis？’
\"`Why，fromtheheadwaiter。’
\"`Oh，thefool!’shecried。`It’smine。’
\"`Yours？nonsense!Hegavemethatandanotherlastnight。’
\"`Oh，thestupidity!Theywerefor——theywerenotforyou。Theywerefor——someonewhoistoarrive。’
\"Ipointedatthesignatureandgasped，`M。!DoyousignM。？’
\"`Yes；myname’s——mynamebeginswithM。Oh，ifI’donlyseenthatwaiterthismorning!Oh，theidiot!’
\"ThenIbelieveIswore。
\"`Madame，’saidI，`I’mruined!Noharmisdonetoyou——I’mamanofhonor——butI’mruined。Onthestrengthofyourwretchednotes，madame，I’vecutthegirlIlovebestintheworld——
cutherdead——dead——dead!’
\"`What？Thatyoungladyinthe————Oh，youthoughttheywerefromher？Oh，Isee？How——how——oh，howveryamusing!’Andtheheartlesslittlewretchwentoffintoanotherpealoflaughter。
\"`Youpretendednottoknowher!Oh，dear!oh，dear!’andherlaughterechoedamongthetreesagain。`Isawherlookingatyou，andyouateonlikeapig!Oh，dear!oh，dear!’
\"`Stoplaughing!’saidIsavagely。
\"`Oh，I’mverysorry，butIcan’t。Whatascrapeyou’vegointo!
Oh，me!’Andshewipedhereyes（theywereasblueashercloak）
withadelicatebitofahandkerchief。
\"`Youshan’tlaugh，’saidI。`Whowereyournotesfor？’
\"`SomebodyIexpected。Hehasn’tcome。Thewaitertookyouforhim，Isuppose。Ineverthoughtofhisbeingsostupid。Oh，whatabruteshemusthavethoughtyou!’Andshebegantolaughagain。
\"Ihadhadenoughofit。Ihatebeinglaughedat。
\"`Ifyougoonlaughing，’saidI，`I’llkissyouagain。’
\"Thethreatwasafailure；shedidnotappearatallalarmed。
\"`Notyou!’shesaid，laughingworsethanever。
\"IshouldlikeyoufellowstounderstandthatmyheartneverwaveredinitsallegiancetoLadyMary——myconscienceisquiteclearastothat——butIhadpledgedmyword。IcaughtthattiresomegirlroundthewaistandIkissedheronce——I’msureofonce，anyhow。Shegaspedandstruggled，laughingstill。Then，withasuddenchangeofvoice，shecried，`Stop’，stop!’
\"Ilethergo。Ilookedround。Wehadagalleryofspectators。
Ononesidestoodtheugly—headedvalet；ontheother，inattitudesofhorror，MaryandMissDibbs!
\"`You’veruinedusbothnow，’saidthegirlinblue。
\"Irosetomyfeetandwasabouttoexplain，whentheuglyfellowrushedatme，brandishingacane。Ihadquiteenoughtoarrangewithoutbeingbotheredbyhim。Icaughtthecaneinmylefthand，andwithmyrightIknockedhimdown。
\"ThenIwalkeduptoLadyMary。ItooknoheedofMissDibbs’
presence；itwastoocriticalamomenttothinkoftrifles。
\"`LadyMary，’saidI，`appearancesaresomuchagainstmethatyoucannotpossiblyattachtheslightestweighttothem。’
\"`Sir，’saidshe，`Ihavenolongerthehonorofyouracquaintance。Ihaveonlytothankyouforhavinghadtheconsiderationnottorecognizemewhenwemetsounexpectedlyinthediningroom。Praycontinuetoshowmethesamefavor。’
\"Withwhichpleasantlittlespeechsheturnedonherheel。Itwasclearthatshesuspectedmemostunjustly。Iturnedtothegirlinblue，butshewasbeforehandwithme。
\"`Ah，IwishI’dneverseeyou，’shecried，`yougreat，stupidcreature!He[shepointedtotheprostratefigureoftheuglyservant]willtellFredericeverything。’
\"`Come，’saidI，`_I_wasonlyanaccident；itwouldhavebeenjustasbadif————’
\"AsIspokeIheardastepbehindme。Turninground，IfoundmyselffacetofacewiththeyoungmanwithwhomIhadcomeincollisionasIrushedthroughthehall。Hegazedattheservant——atme——atthegirlinblue。
\"`Margaret!’heexclaimed，`whatisthe————’
\"`Hush，hush!’shewhispered，pointingagaintotheservant。
\"Isteppeduptohim，liftingmyhat：
\"`Sir，’saidI，\"kindlyinformmeifyouarethegentlemanwhowastocomefromEngland。’
\"`CertainlyIcomefromEngland，’hesaid。
\"`AndyououghttohavearrivedonWednesday？’
\"`Yes，\"heanswered。
\"`Then，’saidI，`allIhavetosaytoyou，sir，is——thatIwishtothedevilyou’dkeepyourappointments。’AndIleftthem。
\"That’swhyI’mnotmarried，boys。Where’smyglass？\"
\"Itisaverycuriousstory，\"observedthecolonel。\"Andwhoweretheyall——thegirlinblue——andtheyoungman——andtheuglyservant——andFrederic？\"
\"Colonel，\"saidJack，withanairofdeepestmystery，\"youwouldbeastoundedtohear。\"
Weallprickedupourears。
\"But，\"hecontinued，\"Iamnotatlibertytosay。\"
Wesankbackinourchairs。
\"Doyouknow？\"askedthecolonel，andJacknoddedsolemnly。
\"Outwithit!\"wecried。
\"Impossible!\"saidJack。\"ButImaytellyouthatthematterengagedtheattentionofmorethanoneoftheForeignOfficesofEurope。\"
\"GoodHeavens!\"criedweinchorus，andJackdrankoffhiswhiskyandwater，rosetohisfeet，andputonhishat。
\"PoordearMary!\"saidhe，asheopenedthedoor。\"Shenevergotoverit。\"
Thecolonelshoutedafterhim：
\"ThenwhatdidshemarryJenkynsoftheBluesfor？\"
\"Pique!\"saidJack，andheshutthedoor。
III。
ACHANGEOFHEART。
ItwascommonknowledgethatSmuggwasengagedtobemarried。
Familiarityhadrobbedthefactofsomeofitssurprisingness，butthereremainedasubstratumofwonder，notremovedevenbythesightofhisbetrothed’sphotographandtheinformationthatshewasadistantrelativewhohadbeenbroughtupwithhimfrominfancy。ThefeaturesandtheexplanationbetweenthemrescuedSmuggfromtheincongruityofaromance，butweunitedintheopinionthattheladywasill—advisedinpreferringSmuggtosolitude。Still，forallthathewasaridiculouscreature，shedid，andhenceithappenedthatSmugg，desiringtoformafurnishingfund，organizedareadingparty，whichGayford，Tritton，Bird，andIatoncejoined。
EverymorningatnineSmugg，hisbreakfastfinished，clearedhiscornerofthetable，openedhisbooks，andassumedanexpectantair；soMarythemaidtoldus；wewereneverthereourselves；webreakfastedat9。30or10o’clock，andonlyabout11didweclearourcorners，lightourpipes，openourbooks，anddiscusstheprospectsoftheday。
Aswediscussedthem，Smuggconstruedinagentlebleat；whatheconstruedorwhyheconstruedit（seeingthatnobodyheededhim）
wasamystery；thewholeperformancewassimplyatributetoSmugg’sconscience，and，assuch，wasreceivedwithgood—natured，scornfultoleration。
Suddenlyachangecame。
OnemorningtherewasnoSmugg!Yethehadbreakfasted——Maryandaneggshelltestifiedtothateffect。Hereappearedat11。30，confusedandverywarm（hehadexceptionalpowersinthewayofbeingwarm）。Wesaidnothing，andhebegantobleatHorace。
InaminuteofsilenceIhappenedtohearwhatitwas：itreferredtoaladyofthenameofPyrrha；thelearnedmayidentifythepassageforthemselves。ThenextdaythesamethinghappenedexceptthatitwascloseontwelvebeforeSmuggappeared。GayfordandTrittontooknonoticeoftheaberration；
BirdcongratulatedSmuggontheincreaseddocilityofhisconscience。Iwatchedhimcloselyashewipedhisbrow——hewasverywarm，indeed。Athirdtimethescenewasenacted；mycuriositywasaroused；ImadeMarycallmeveryearly，andfromthewindowIespiedSmuggleavingthehouseat9。15，andgoingwithrapid，furtivestepsalongthelittlepaththatledtooldDill’stinyfarm。Islippeddownstairs，boltedacupoftea，seizedapieceoftoast，andfollowedSmugg。Hewasoutofsight，butpresentlyImetJoeShanks，thebutcher’sson，whobroughtusourchops。Joewasastoutyoungman，abouttwenty—one，red—faced，burly，andgreasy。WeusedtohavemanyjokeswithJoe；evenSmugghadbeforenowbrokenamildshaftofclassicalwitonhim；infact，wemadeabuttofJoe，andhisgood—humored，muttonysmiletoldusthathethoughtitacompliment。
\"SeenMr。Smuggasyoucamealong，Joe？\"Iasked。
\"Yes，sir。GonetowardDill’sfarm，sir。\"
\"Ah，Dill’sfarm!\"
\"Yes，sir。\"
Thechop—ladenJoepassedon。Imendedmypace，andsoonfoundmyselfontheoutskirtsofDill’spremises。Ihadbeentherebefore；wehadallbeentherebefore。Dillhadadaughter。I
sawhernowinasunbonnetandlacedboots。ImaysayatoncethatBetsyDillwasverypretty，inafine，robuststyle，andallfourofusweredecidedlyenamoredofhercharms。Usuallywecourtedherinabody，andscrupulousfairnesswasobservedinthematterofseekingprivateinterviews。
Smugghadneverspokentoher——soweshouldallhavesworn。Butnowmywonderingeyessaw，oppositePyrrha（webeganfromthisdaytocallherPyrrha）thefigureofSmugg。Pyrrhawasleaningagainstabarn，onefootcrossedovertheother，herarmsakimbo，astringofherbonnetinhermouth，andherblueeyeslaughingfromunderlonglashes。Smuggstoodlimplyoppositeher，histrousersbaggingoverhishalf—bentknees，hishatinonehand，andintheotherahandkerchief，withwhich，fromtimetotime，hemoppedhisforehead。Icouldnothear（ofcourseIdidnotwishto）whattheyweresaying；indeed，Ihavemydoubtsiftheysaidanything；butpresentlySmuggmovedahesitatingstepnearer，whenPyrrha，withamerrylaugh，dartedbyhimandranaway，turningamockingfaceoverhershoulder。Smuggstoodstillforaminute，thenputonhishat，lookedathiswatch，andwalkedslowlyaway。
IdidnotkeepSmugg’ssecret；Ifeltundernoobligationtokeepit。Hedeservednomercy，andIexposedhimatbreakfastthatverymorning。ButIcouldnothelpbeingalittlesorryforhimwhenhecamein。Hebenthisheadundertheshowerofreproach，chaff，andgibing；hedidnottrytoexcusehimself；hesimplyopenedhisbookattheoldplace，andweallshoutedtheoldode，substituting\"Betsa\"for\"Pyrrha\"whereverwecould。
Still，inspiteofourjocularity，weallfeltanunder—currentofrealanger。
WeconsideredthatSmuggwastreatingPyrrhaverybadly——Smugg，anengagedman，agedthirty，presumablypasttheheatandcarelessnessofyouth。Weglowedwithasenseofherwrongs，andthatafternoonweeachwentforasolitarywalk——atleast，westartedforasolitarywalk——buthalfanhourlaterweallmetatthegateleadingtoDill’smeadows，and，inanexplosionoflaughter，acknowledgedoursecretdesignofmeetingPyrrha，andopeninghereyestoSmugg’siniquity。
Thegreatsurprisewasstilltocome。Ateleventhenextmorning，whenwehadjustsatdowntowork，andSmugghadslidintotheroomwiththestealthy，ashamedairheworeafterhismorningexcursions，Maryappeared，andtoldusthatJoeShanks，thebutcher’sson，hadcomewiththechops，andwantedtospeaktous。Wehailedthediversion，andhadJoeshownin。Gayfordpushedthebeerjugandaglasstowardhim，saying：
\"Helpyourself，Joe。\"
Joedrankadraught，wipedhismouthonhisbluesleeve，andremarked：
\"Nooffense，gentlemen。\"
\"None，\"saidGayford，whoseemedtohaveassumedthechairmanshipofthemeeting。
Joe，seemingslightlyembarrassed，clearedhisthroat，andlookedroundagain。
\"Nooffense，gentlemen，\"herepeated；\"butshe’sbinwalkingwithmetwoyearscomeMichaelmas。\"
Apausefollowed。Thenthechairmanexpressedtheviewsofthemeeting。
\"Thedeuceshehas!\"saidhe。
\"OffANDon，\"addedJoecandidly。
IlookedatSmugg。Hehadshrunkdownlowinhisseat，andrestedhisheadonhishand。Hisfacewashalfhidden；buthewasverywarm，andthedropstrickledfromhisforeheaddownhisnose。
\"Itseemstobeagooddealoff，\"saidthechairmanjudicially。
\"Nooffense，\"saidJoe；\"butIdon’ttakeitkindofyou，gentlemen。I’veservedyoufaithful。\"
\"Thechopsareexcellent，\"concededthechairman。
\"AndIdon’ttakeitkind。\"
\"Developyourcomplaint，\"saidthechairman。\"Imean，what’stherow，Joe？\"
\"Sinceyougentlemencameshe’sbeensaucy，\"saidJoe。
\"Idonotsee，\"observedthechairman，\"thatanythingcanbedone。IfPyrrhaprefersus，Joe[hetreatedthecasecollectively，whichwascertainlywise]，whatthen？\"
\"Begpardon，sir？\"
\"Oh，Imeaniftheladyprefersus，Joe？\"
Joebroughthisfatfistdownonthetablewithathump。
\"Itaintasifyoumeantit，\"saidhedoggedly；\"youjustunsettlesof’er。Is’poseIcan’thelpyetalking，andlaughing，andwalkingalongof’er，butyouaintnocalltokiss’er。\"
Anotherpauseensued。ThechairmanheldaconsultationwithTritton，whosatonhisrighthand。
\"Themeeting，\"saidGayford，\"willproceedtodeclare，onebyone，whetherithasever——andifso，howoften——kissedthelady。
Iwillbegin。Never!Mr。Tritton？\"
\"Never!\"saidTritton。
\"Mr。Bird？\"
\"Never!\"saidBird。
\"Mr。Robertson？\"
\"Never!\"saidI。
\"Mr。Smugg？\"
\"Iseed’imthisverymorning!\"criedJoe，likeanaccusingangel。
Smuggtookhishandawayfromhisface，aftergivinghiswetbrowonelastdab。HelookedatGayfordandatJoe，butsaidnothing。
\"Mr。Smugg？\"repeatedthechairman。
\"Mr。Smugg，\"interposedTrittonsuavely，\"probablyfeelshimselfinadifficulty。Thesecretisnot，perhaps，entirelyhisown。\"
Weallnodded。
\"WeenterapleaofnotguiltyforMr。Smugg，\"observedthechairmangravely。
\"Iseed’imdoit，\"saidJoe。
Noonespoke。Joefinishedhisbeer，pulledhisforelock，andturnedonhisheel。SuddenlySmuggburstintospeech。Hecouldhardlyformhiswords，andtheyjostledoneanotherinthebreathlessconfusionofhisutterance。
\"I——I——you’venoright。Isaynothing。IfIchoose，Ishall——noonehasarighttostopme。IfIloveher——ifshedoesn’tmind——
Isaynothing——nothingatall。Iwon’thearaword。IshalldoasIlike。\"
Joehadpausedtohearhim，andnowstoodlookingathiminwonder。Thenhesteppedquicklyuptothetable，and，leaningacross，askedinaharshvoice：
\"Youmeanhonest，doyou，byher？You’dmakeheryourwife，wouldyou？\"
Smugg，lookingstraightinfrontofhim，answered：
\"Yes。\"
Joedrewback，touchedhisforelockagain，andsaid：
\"Thenit’sfairfighting，sir，beggingyourpardon；andnooffense。Butthegirlwasminefirst，sir。\"
ThenGayfordinterposed。
\"Mr。Smugg，\"saidhe，\"youtellJoe，here，thatyou’dmarrythislady。MayIaskhowyoucan——when————\"
ButforonceSmuggwasabletosilenceoneofhispupils。Hearosefromhisseat，andbroughthishandheavilydownonGayford’sshoulder。
\"Holdyourtongue!\"hecried。\"ImustanswertoGod，butI
needn’tanswertoyou。\"
Joelookedathimwithroundeyes，and，withalastsalute，slowlywentout。Noneofusspoke，andpresentlySmuggopenedhisThucydides。
Formypart，ItookveryconsiderableinterestinPyrrha’ssideofthequestion。Iamusedmyselfbyconstructingafancy—bornloveofPyrrha’sforhersocialsuperior，andifhehadbeenoneofourselves，Ishouldhaveseennoabsurdity。ButSmuggrefusedaltogethertofitintomyframe。TherewasnoglamouraboutSmugg；and，totellthetruth，Ishouldhavethoughtthatanygirl，beherstationwhatitmight，facedwiththealternativeofSmuggandJoe，wouldhavechosenJoe。Inmyopinion，PyrrhawasmerelyamusingherselfwithSmugg，andIwasrathercomfortedbythisreversaloftheordinaryroles。Still，Icouldnotrestinconjecture，andmycuriosityledmeuptoDill’slittlefarmontheafternoonofthedayofJoe’ssuddenappearance。Theothersletmegoalone。DirectlyafterdinnerSmuggwenttohisbedroom，andtheotherthreehadgoneofftoplaylawntennisatthevicar’s。Ilitmypipe，andstrolledalongtillI
reachedthegatethatledtoDill’smeadow。HereIwaitedtillPyrrhashouldappear。
AsIsatandsmoked，avoicestrucksuddenlyonmyear——thevoiceofMrs。Dill，raisedtoshrillnessbyanger。
\"Beoffwithyou，\"shesaid，\"andmindyourways，orworse’llhappentoyou。’Ere’syourswitch。\"
AfteramomentPyrrhaturnedthecorner，andcametowardme。Shewaswipinghereyeswiththecornerofherapron，andcarriedinherhandalighthazelswitch，whichsheusedtoguideerrantcows。Shewasalmostatthegatebeforeshesawme。Shestarted，andblushedveryred。
\"Lor!isityou，Mr。Robertson？\"shesaid。
Inodded，butdidnotmove。
\"Letmepass，sir，please。I’venotimetostop。\"
\"What，nottotalktome，Pyrrha——Betsy，Imean？\"
\"Motherdon’tlikemetalkingtogentlemen。\"
\"You’vebeencrying，\"saidI。
\"No，Ihaven’t，\"saidPyrrha，quiteviolently。
\"Motherbeenscoldingyou？\"
\"Iwishyou’dletmeby，sir。\"
\"Whatfor？\"
\"It’sallyourfault，\"burstoutPyrrha。\"Ididn’twantyou；no，norhim，either。Whatdoyoucomeandgetmeintotroublefor？\"
\"Ihaven’tdoneanything，Betsy。Comenow!\"
\"Youaintasbadassome，\"sheconceded，adimsmilebreakingthroughtheclouds。
\"YoumeanSmugg，\"Iobserved。
\"Whotoldyou？\"shecried。
\"Joe，\"saidI。
\"Seemshe’sgotalottosaytoeverybody，\"shecommentedresentfully。
\"Ah!hetoldyourmother，didhe？Well，youknowyoushouldn’t，Betsy。\"
\"Iwon’tneverspeaktohimagain——ImeantIwon’tever[thegrammarianisabroad]，Mr。Robertson。\"
\"What!NottoJoe？\"
\"Joe!No；thatSmugg。\"
\"ButJoetoldofyou。\"
\"Well，anditwashisright。\"
Ifshethoughtso，Ihadnomoretosay。Notionsdifferamongdifferentsets。ButIpressedthepointalittle。
\"Joegotyouyourscolding。\"
Now，Ican’tsaywhetherIdidordidnotemphasizethelastwordunduly，butPyrrhablushedagain，andremarked：
\"Youwanttoknowtoomuch，sir，byadeal。\"
SoIleftthataspecttothesubject，andcontinued：
\"IsupposeitwasforlettingMr。Smuggkissyou？\"
\"Icouldn’thelpit。\"
Ihadgreatdoubtsofthat——shecouldhavetackledSmuggwithonehand；butIsaidpleasantly：
\"Nomorecouldhe，I’msure。\"
Pyrrhacastanalarmedglanceatthehouse。
\"Oh，I’llbecareful，\"Ilaughed。\"Yes，andI’llletyougo。
Butjusttellme，Betsy，whatdoyouthinkofMr。Smugg？\"
\"Idon’tthinkthatofhim!\"saidshe，snappingherprettyredfingers。\"Joe’udmaketenofhim。IwishJoe’dtalktohimabit。\"
Theendcamesoonafterthis，and，inspiteofourattitude（I
speakofusfour，notofSmugg）ofwhole—heartedness，Ithinkitwasratherashocktousall，whenJoeannouncedonemorning，onhisarrivalwiththechops，thathewastobemadeahappymanatthechurchnextday。Smuggwasnotintheroom，andtherestofuscongratulatedJoe，andmadeupapurseforhimtogivePyrrha，withourbestrespects，andhebowedhimselfout，mightilypleased，andasseveratingthatwewererealgentlemen。Thenwesatandlookedatthetable。
\"Itrobsusofaresource，\"pronouncedGayford，onceagainmakinghimselfthemouthpieceoftheparty。Weallnodded，andfilledfreshpipes。
PresentlySmuggsidledin。Wehadseenlittleofhimthelastweek；savewhenhewasconstruinghehadtakenrefugeinhisownroom。Whenhecameinnow，Gayfordwaggedhisheadsignificantlyatme；apparently，itwasmytasktobellthecat。
Irose，andwenttothemantelpiece。Smugghadsatdownatthetable，andmybackwastohim。Itookamatchfromthebox，struckit，andappliedittomypipe，and，punctuatingmywordswithinterspersedpuffings，Isaidcarelessly：
\"Bytheway，Smugg，Pyrrha’sgoingtobemarriedtoJoeShanksto—morrow。\"
Idon’tknowhowhelooked。Ikeptmyfacefromhim，but，afteralongminute’spause，heanswered：
\"Thankyou，Robertson。It’sAeschylusthismorning，isn’tit？\"
Wehadanoisyeveningthatnight。Isupposewefeltbelowpar，andwantedcheeringup。Anyhow，wemadeanexpeditiontothegrocer’s，andamazedhimwithademandforhisbestchampagneandhischoicestsherry。Wecarriedthegoodshomeinabag，andsatdowntoarevel。Smugghadsomebreadandcheeseinhisownroom；hesaidthathehadletterstowrite。Wedinedlargely，anddrankstillmorelargely；thenwesang，andatlast——itwasnearontwelve，aterriblehourforthatneighborhood——wemadeourway，amidmuchboisterousnessandhorseplay，tobed；whereI，atleast，wasasleepinfiveminutes。
Asthechurchclockstrucktwo，Iawoke。IheardasoundofmovementinSmugg’sroomnextdoor。Ilayandlistened。
Presentlyhisdooropened，andhecreakedgentlydownstairs。I
sprangoutofbedandlookedoutofthewindow。Smugg，fullydressed，wasglidingalongthepathtowardDill’sfarm。Someimpulse——curiosityonly，verylikely——mademejumpintomytrousers，seizeaflanneljacket，drawonapairofboots，andhastilyfollowhim。WhenIgotoutsidehewasvisibleinthemoonlight，mountingthepathaheadofme。Heheldonhiswaytowardthefarm，Ifollowing。Whenhereachedtheyardhestoppedforamoment，andseemedtopeerupatthewindows，whichwerealldarkandunresponsive。IstoodasquietasIcould，twentyyardsfromhim，andmovedcautiouslyonagainwhenheturnedtotherightandpassedthroughthegateintothemeadows。
IsawnosignsofPyrrha。Smuggheldonhiswayacrossthemeadows，downtowardthestream；andsuddenlythethoughtleapedtomybrainthatthepoorfoolmeanttodrownhimself。ButI
couldhardlybelieveit。Surelyhemustmerelybetakingadesperatelover’sramble，alastsadvisittothescenesofhissilly，irrationalinfatuation。IfIwentuptohim，Ishouldlookafool，too；soIhungbehind，readytoturnuponhimifneedappeared。