However,heturnedresolutelyawayfromthesubjectIhadintroducedandbegantodiscusstitlesforhisnovel。
\"It’simpossibletofindanythingnew,\"hesaid,\"absolutelyimpossible。IdeclareIshalltaketonumbers。\"
Ilaughedatthisprosaicnotion,andwewerestilldiscussingthetitlewhenwereachedhome。
\"Don’tsayanythingaboutitatlunch,\"hesaidasweentered。\"Myfatherdetestsmywriting。\"
Inoddedassentandopenedthesitting—roomdoor——astrongsmellofbrandyinstantlybecameapparent;theMajorsatinthegreenvelvetchair,whichhadbeenwheeledclosetothehearth。Hewasdrunk。
Derrickgaveanejaculationofutterhopelessness。
\"ThiswillundoallthegoodofBenRhydding!\"hesaid。\"Howonearthhashemanagedtogetit?\"
TheMajor,however,wasnotsofargoneashelooked;hecaughtuptheremarkandturnedtowardsuswithahideouslaugh。
\"Ah,yes,\"hesaid,\"that’sthequestion。Buttheoldmanhasstillsomebrains,yousee。I’llbeevenwithyouyet,Derrick。Youneedn’tthinkyou’retohaveitallyourownway。It’smyturnnow。
You’vedeprivedmeallthistimeoftheonlythingIcareforinlife,andnowIturnthetablesonyou。Titfortat。Oh!yes,I’veturnedyourd——dscribblingstoausefulpurpose,soyouneedn’tcomplain!\"
AllthishadbeenshoutedoutatthetopofhisvoiceandfreelyinterlardedwithexpressionswhichIwillnotrepeat;attheendhebrokeagainintoalaugh,andwithalook,halfidiotic,halfdevilish,pointedtowardsthegrate。
\"GoodHeavens!\"Isaid,\"whathaveyoudone?\"
BythesideofthechairIsawapieceofbrownpaper,and,catchingitup,readtheaddress——\"Messrs。Davison,PaternosterRow\";inthefireplacewasahugecharredmass。Derrickcaughthisbreath;hestoopeddownandsnatchedfromthefenderafragmentofpaperslightlyburned,butstillnotcharredbeyondrecognitionliketherest。Thewritingwasquitelegible——itwashisownwriting——thedescriptionoftheRoyalists’attackandPaulWharncliffe’sdefenceofthebridge。Ilookedfromthehalf—burntscrapofpapertothesidetablewhere,onlythepreviousnight,wehadplacedthenovel,andthen,realisingasfarasanybutanauthorcouldrealisethefrightfulthingthathadhappened,IlookedinDerrick’sface。Itswhitefuryappalledme。WhathehadbornehithertofromtheMajor,Godonlyknows,butthiswasthelastdropinthecup。Dailyinsults,ceaselessprovocation,eventhehumiliationsofpersonalviolencehehadbornewithsuperhumanpatience;butthislastinjury,thiswantonlycrueloutrage,thisdeliberatedestructionofanamountofthought,andlabour,andsufferingwhichonlythewriterhimselfcouldfullyestimate——thiswasintolerable。
WhatmighthavehappenedhadtheMajorbeensoberandinthepossessionofordinaryphysicalstrengthIhardlycaretothink。Asitwas,hisweaknessprotectedhim。Derrick’swrathwasspeechless;
withonelookofloathingandcontemptatthedrunkenman,hestrodeoutoftheroom,caughtuphishat,andhurriedfromthehouse。
TheMajorsatchucklingtohimselfforaminuteortwo,butsoonhegrewdrowsy,andbeforelongwassnoringlikeagrampus。Theoldlandladybroughtinlunch,sawthestateofthingsprettyquickly,shookherheadandcommiseratedDerrick。Then,whenshehadlefttheroom,seeingnoprospectthateitherofmycompanionswouldbeinafitstateforlunch,Imadeasolitarymeal,andhadjustfinishedwhenacabstoppedatthedoorandoutsprangDerrick。I
wentintothepassagetomeethim。
\"TheMajorisasleep,\"Iremarked。
HetooknomorenoticethanifIhadspokenofthecat。
\"I’mgoingtoLondon,\"hesaid,makingforthestairs。\"Canyougetyourbagready?There’satrainat2。5。\"
Somehowthesuddennessandtheself—controlwithwhichhemadethisannouncementcarriedmebacktothehotelatSouthampton,where,afterlisteningtotheaccountoftheship’sdoctor,hehadannouncedhisintentionoflivingwithhisfather。Formorethantwoyearshehadbornethisawfullife;hehadlostprettynearlyallthattherewastobelostandhehadgainedtheMajor’svindictivehatred。Now,halfmaddenedbypain,andhaving,ashethought,sohopelesslyfailed,hesawnothingforitbuttogo——andthatatonce。
Ipackedmybag,andthenwenttohelphim。Hewascrammingallhispossessionsintoportmanteauxandboxes;theHoffmanwasalreadypacked,andthewalllookedcuriouslybarewithoutit。ClearlythiswasnovisittoLondon——hewasleavingBathforgood,andwhocouldwonderatit?
\"Ihavearrangedfortheattendantfromthehospitaltocomeinatnightaswellasinthemorning,\"hesaid,ashelockedaportmanteauthatwasstuffedalmosttobursting。\"What’sthetime?
Wemustmakehasteorweshalllosethetrain。Do,likeagoodfellow,cramthatheapofthingsintothecarpet—bagwhileIspeaktothelandlady。\"
Atlastwewereoff,rattlingthroughthequietstreetsofBath,andreachingthestationbarelyintimetorushupthelongflightofstairsandspringintoanemptycarriage。NevershallIforgetthatjourney。Thetrainstoppedateverysinglestation,andsometimesinbetween;wewerefivemortalhoursontheroad,andmorethanonceIthoughtDerrickwouldhavefainted。However,hewasnotofthefaintingorder,heonlygrewmoreandmoreghastlyincolourandrigidinexpression。
Ifeltveryanxiousabouthim,fortheshockandthesuddenangerfollowingonthetroubleaboutFredaseemedtomeenoughtounhingeevenalesssensitivenature。’AtStrife’wasthenovelwhichhad,Ifirmlybelieve,kepthimalivethroughthatawfultimeatBenRhydding,andIbegantofearthattheMajor’sfitofdrunkenmalicemightprovethedestructionoftheauthoraswellasofthebook。
Everythinghad,asitwere,comeatonceonpoorDerrick;yetI
don’tknowthathefaredworsethanotherpeopleinthisrespect。
Life,unfortunately,isformostofusnowell—arrangedstorywithahappytermination;itisachequeredaffairofshadeandsun,andforonebeamoflighttherecomeveryoftenwidepatchesofshadow。
MenseemtohaveknownthissofarbackasShakespeare’stime,andtohaveobservedthatonewoetrodonanother’sheels,tohavebattlednotwithasinglewave,butwitha’seaoftroubles,’andtohaveremarkedthat’sorrowscomenotsingly,butinbattalions。’
However,owingIbelievechieflytohisownself—command,andtohisuntiringfacultyfortakinginfinitepainsoverhiswork,Derrickdidnotbreakdown,butpleasantlycheatedmyexpectations。Iwasnotcalledontonursehimthroughafever,andconsumptiondidnotmarkhimforherown。Infact,inthematterofillness,hewasalwaysamostprosaic,unromanticfellow,andneverindulgedinanyoftheeuphoniousandinterestingailments。Inallhislife,I
believe,heneverwentinforanythingbutthemumps——ofallcomplaintstheleastinteresting——and,maybe,anoccasionalheadache。
However,allthisisadigression。WeatlengthreachedLondon,andDerricktookaroomabovemine,nowandthendisturbingmewithnocturnalpacingsoverthecreakingboards,but,onthewhole,provinghimselfthebestofcompanions。
IfIwrotetillDoomsday,Icouldnevermakeyouunderstandhowtheburningofhisnovelaffectedhim——tothisdayitisasubjectI
instinctivelyavoidwithhim——thoughthere—written’AtStrife’hasbeensuchagrandsuccess。Forhedidre—writethestory,andthatatonce。Hesaidlittle;buttheverynextmorning,inoneofthewindowsofourquietsitting—room,oftenenoughlookingdespairinglyatthegreymonotonyofMontagueStreet,hebeganat’PageI,ChapterI,’andsoworkedpatientlyonformanymonthstore—makeasfarashecouldwhathisdrunkenfatherhadmaliciouslydestroyed。
BeyondtheunburntparagraphabouttheattackonMondisfield,hehadnothingexceptafewhastilyscribbledideasinhisnote—book,andofcoursetheveryelaborateandcarefulhistoricalnoteswhichhehadmadeontheCivilWarduringmanyyearsofreadingandresearch—
—forthisperiodhadalwaysbeenafavouritestudywithhim。
But,asanyauthorwillunderstand,theeffortofre—writingwasimmense,andthis,combinedwithalltheothertroubles,triedDerricktotheutmost。However,hetoiledon,andIhavealwaysthoughtthathisresolute,unyieldingconductwithregardtothatbookprovedwhatamanhewas。
ChapterVIII。
\"HowoftFate’ssharpestblowshallleavetheestrong,Withsomere—risenecstacyofsong。\"
F。W。H。Myers。
Astheautumnworeon,weheardnowandthenfromoldMackrillthedoctor。HisreportsoftheMajorwereprettyuniform。Derrickusedtohandthemovertomewhenhehadreadthem;but,bytacitconsent,theMajor’snamewasnevermentioned。
Meantime,besidesre—writing’AtStrife,’hewasaccumulatingmaterialforhisnextbookandworkingtoverygoodpurpose。Notaminuteofhisdaywasidle;hereadmuch,sawvariousphasesoflifehithertounknowntohim,studied,observed,gainedexperience,andcontrived,Ibelieve,tothinkverylittleandveryguardedlyofFreda。
But,onChristmasEve,Inoticedachangeinhim——andthatverynighthespoketome。Forsuchanimpressionablefellow,hehadreallyextraordinarytenacity,and,spiteofthecourseofHerbertSpencerthatIhadputhimthrough,heretainedhisunshakenfaithinmanythingswhichtomewereatthattimethemerestlegends。I
rememberverywelltheargumentsweusedtohaveonthevexedquestionof’Free—will,’andbeingmyselfmoreorlessofafatalist,itannoyedmethatInevercouldintheveryslightestdegreeshakehisconvictionsonthatpoint。Moreover,whenI
plaguedhimtoomuchwithHerbertSpencer,hehadawayofretaliating,andwouldfoistuponmehisfavouriteauthors。Hewasneveraworshipperofanyonewriter,butalwayshadatleastadozenprophetsinwhosepraisehewasenthusiastic。
Well,onthisChristmasEve,wehadbeentoseedearoldRavenscroftandhisgrand—daughter,andwewerewalkingbackthroughthequietprecinctsoftheTemple,whenhesaidabruptly:
\"IhavedecidedtogobacktoBathto—morrow。\"
\"Haveyouhadaworseaccount?\"Iasked,muchstartledatthissuddenannouncement。
\"No,\"hereplied,\"buttheoneIhadaweekagowasfarfromgoodifyouremember,andIhaveafeelingthatIoughttobethere。\"
AtthatmomentweemergedintotheconfusionofFleetStreet;butwhenwehadcrossedtheroadIbegantoremonstratewithhim,andarguedthefollyoftheideaallthewaydownChanceryLane。
However,therewasnoshakinghispurpose;Christmasanditsassociationshadmadehislifeintownnolongerpossibleforhim。
\"Imustatanyratetryitagainandseehowitworks,\"hesaid。
AndallIcoulddowastopersuadehimtoleavethebulkofhispossessionsinLondon,\"incase,\"asheremarked,\"theMajorwouldnothavehim。\"
SothenextdayIwaslefttomyselfagainwithnothingtoremindmeofDerrick’sstaybuthispictureswhichstillhungonthewallofoursitting—room。Imadehimpromisetowriteafull,true,andparticularaccountofhisreturn,abona—fideold—fashionedletter,notthehalf—dozenlinesofthesedegeneratedays;andaboutaweeklaterIreceivedthefollowingbudget:
\"DearSydney,——IgotdowntoBathallright,and,thankstoyour’StudyofSociology,’enduredaslow,andcold,anddull,anddepressingjourneywiththethermometerdowntozero,andspiritstocorrespond,withthecountryamonotonouswhite,andtheskyamonotonousgrey,andacompanionwhosmokedthevilesttobaccoyoucanconceive。Theoldplacelooksasbeautifulasever,andtomygreatsatisfactionthehillsroundaboutaregreen。Snow,saveinpictures,isanabomination。MilsomStreetlookedasleep,andGayStreetdecidedlydreary,buttheinhabitantswererousedbymyknock,andtheoldlandladynearlyshookmyhandoff。Myfatherhasanattackofjaundiceandisinamiserablestate。HewasasleepwhenIgothere,andthegoodoldlandlady,thinkingthefrontsitting—roomwouldbefree,hadinvited’company,’i。e。,twoorthreemarrieddaughtersandtheirbelongings;oneofthechildrenbeatsMagnay’s’Carina’astobeauty——heoughttopainther。Happythought,sendhimandprettyMrs。Esperancedownhereonspec。HecanpaintthechildforthenextAcademy,andmeantimeIcouldenjoyhiscompany。Well,allthesegoodfolksbeingjustset—toatroastbeef,Inaturallywouldn’thearofdisturbingthem,andintheendwasobligedtositdowntooandeatatthathourofthedaythehugestdinneryoueversaw——anythingbutvoraciousappetitesoffendedthehostess。Magnay’sfuturemodel,forallitsangelicface,’atetorepletion,’likethefairAmericaninthestory。ThenIwentintomyfather’sroom,andshortlyafterhewokeupandaskedmetogivehimsomeFriedrichshallwater,makingnocommentatallonmyreturn,butjustbehavingasthoughIhadbeenherealltheautumn,sothatIfeltasifthewholeaffairwereadream。Exceptforthisattackofjaundice,hehasbeenmuchasusual,andwhenyounextcomedownyouwillfindussettledintoouroldgroove。ThequietofitafterLondonisextraordinary。ButIbelieveitsuitsthebook,whichgetsonprettyfast。ThisafternoonIwentupLansdowneandrightonpasttheGrandStandtoProspectStile,whichisattheedgeofahighbitoftableland,andlooksoverasplendidstretchofcountry,withtheBristolChannelandtheWelshhillsinthedistance。WhileIwastherethesunmostconsideratelysetingorgeousarray。Youneversawanythinglikeit。ItwasworththejourneyfromLondontoBath,Icanassureyou。TellMagnay,andmayitlurehimdown;alsonamethemodelaforementioned。
\"HowistheoldQ。C。andhisprettygrandchild?ThatquaintoldroomoftheirsintheTemplesomehowtookmyfancy,andthechildwasdivine。Doyouremembermyshowingyou,inagloomynarrowstreethere,ajollyoldwatchmakerwhositsinhisshop—windowandisforeverbendingoversickclocksandwatches?Well,he’sstillsittingthere,asifhehadnevermovedsincewesawhimthatSaturdaymonthsago。Imeantostudyhimforaportrait;hissallow,clean—shaved,wrinkledfacehasawholestoryinit。I
believeheismarriedtoaXantippewhothrowscoldwateroverhim,bothliterallyandmetaphorically;butheisaphilosopher——I’llstakemyreputationasanobserveronthat——hejustshrugshissturdyoldshoulders,andgoesonmendingclocksandwatches。Ondarkdaysheworksbyagasjet——andthenRembrandtwouldenjoypaintinghim。Ilookathimwhenevermyworldisparticularlyawry,andfindhimhighlybeneficial。Davisonhasforwardedmeto—daytwolettersfromreadersof’Lynwood。’Thefirstisfromaniratefemalewhotakesmetotaskforthedangeroustendencyofthestory,andinsiststhatIhavedrawnimpossiblecircumstancesandimpossiblecharacters。Thesecondisfromanoldclergyman,whowritesapatheticletterofthanks,andtellsmethatitisalmostwordforwordthestoryofasonofhiswhodiedfiveyearsago。
Query:shallIsendtheiratefemaletheoldman’sletter,andsavemyselfthetroubleofwriting?ButonthewholeIthinknot;itwouldbepearlsbeforeswine。Iwillwritetohermyself。Gladtoseeyouwheneveryoucanrundown。
\"Yoursever,\"D。V。\"
(\"Neverstruckmebeforewhatpiousinitialsmineare。\")
TheveryeveningIreceivedthisletterIhappenedtobediningattheProbyn’s。Asluckwouldhaveit,prettyMissFredawasstayinginthehouse,andshefelltomyshare。Ialwayslikedher,thoughoflateIhadfeltratherangrywithherforbeingcarriedawaybythegeneralstormofadmirationandsweptbyitintoanengagementwithLawrenceVaughan。Shewasaverypleasant,naturalsortoftalker,andshealwaystreatedmeasanoldfriend。Butsheseemedtome,thatnight,alittlelesssatisfiedthanusualwithlife。
Perhapsitwasmerelytheeffectoftheblacklacedresswhichshewore,butIfanciedherpalerandthinner,andsomehowsheseemedalleyes。
\"WhereisLawrencenow?\"Iasked,aswewentdowntothedining—
room。
\"HeisstationedatDover,\"shereplied。\"Hewasuphereforafewhoursyesterday;hecametosaygood—byetome,forIamgoingtoBathnextMondaywithmyfather,whohasbeenveryrheumaticlately—
—andyouknowBathiscomingintofashionagain,allthedoctorsrecommendit。\"
\"MajorVaughanisthere,\"Isaid,\"andhasfoundthewatersverygood,Ibelieve;anyday,attwelveo’clock,youmayseehimgettingoutofhischairandgoingintothePumpRoomonDerrick’sarm。I
oftenwonderwhatoutsidersthinkofthem。Itisn’toften,isit,thatoneseesasonabsolutelygivinguphislifetohisinvalidfather?\"
Shelookedalittlestartled。
\"IwishLawrencecouldbemorewithMajorVaughan,\"shesaid;\"forheishisfather’sfavourite。Youseeheissuchagoodtalker,andDerrick——well,heisabsorbedinhisbooks;andthenhehassuchextravagantnotionsaboutwar,hemustbeaveryuncongenialcompaniontothepoorMajor。\"
Idevouredturbotinwrathfulsilence。Fredaglancedatme。
\"Itistrue,isn’tit,thathehasquitegivenuphislifetowriting,andcaresfornothingelse?\"
\"Well,hehasdeliberatelysacrificedhisbestchanceofsuccessbyleavingLondonandburyinghimselfintheprovinces,\"Ireplieddrily;\"andastocaringfornothingbutwriting,whyhenevergetsmorethantwoorthreehoursadayforit。\"AndthenIgaveheraminuteaccountofhisdailyroutine。
Shebegantolooktroubled。
\"Ihavebeenmisled,\"shesaid;\"Ihadgainedquiteawrongimpressionofhim。\"
\"Veryfewpeopleknowanythingatallabouthim,\"Isaidwarmly;
\"youarenotaloneinthat。\"
\"Isupposehisnextnovelisfinishednow?\"saidFreda;\"hetoldmehehadonlyoneortwomorechapterstowritewhenIsawhimafewmonthsagoonhiswayfromBenRhydding。Whatishewritingnow?\"
\"Heiswritingthatnoveloveragain,\"Ireplied。
\"Overagain?Whatfearfulwasteoftime!\"
\"Yes,ithascosthimhundredsofhours’work;itjustshowswhatamanheis,thathehasgonethroughwithitsobravely。\"
\"Buthowdoyoumean?Didn’titdo?\"
Rashly,perhaps,yetIthinkunavoidably,Itoldherthetruth。
\"Itwasthebestthinghehadeverwritten,butunfortunatelyitwasdestroyed,burnttoacinder。Thatwasnotverypleasant,wasit,foramanwhonevermakestwocopiesofhiswork?\"
\"Itwasfrightful!\"saidFreda,hereyesdilating。\"Ineverheardawordaboutit。DoesLawrenceknow?\"
\"No,hedoesnot;andperhapsIoughtnottohavetoldyou,butI
wasannoyedatyoursomisunderstandingDerrick。Praynevermentiontheaffair;hewouldwishitkeptperfectlyquiet。\"
\"Why?\"askedFreda,turninghercleareyesfulluponmine。
\"Because,\"Isaid,loweringmyvoice,\"becausehisfatherburntit。\"
Shealmostgasped。
\"Deliberately?\"
\"Yes,deliberately,\"Ireplied。\"Hisillnesshasaffectedhistemper,andheissometimeshardlyresponsibleforhisactions。\"
\"Oh,Iknewthathewasirritableandhasty,andthatDerrickannoyedhim。Lawrencetoldmethat,longago,\"saidFreda。\"Butthatheshouldhavedonesuchathingasthat!Itishorrible!
PoorDerrick,howsorryIamforhim。IhopeweshallseesomethingofthematBath。DoyouknowhowtheMajoris?\"
\"IhadaletterabouthimfromDerrickonlythisevening,\"I
replied;\"ifyoucaretoseeit,Iwillshowityoulateron。\"
Andby—and—by,inthedrawing—room,IputDerrick’sletterintoherhands,andexplainedtoherhowforafewmonthshehadgivenuphislifeatBath,indespair,butnowhadreturned。
\"Idon’tthinkLawrencecanunderstandthestateofthings,\"shesaidwistfully。\"Andyethehasbeendownthere。\"
Imadenoreply,andFreda,withasigh,turnedaway。
AmonthlaterIwentdowntoBathandfound,asmyfriendforetold,everythinggoingonintheoldgroove,exceptthatDerrickhimselfhadanodd,strainedlookabouthim,asifhewerefightingafoebeyondhisstrength。Freda’sarrivalatBathhadbeenveryhardonhim,itwasalmostmorethanhecouldendure。SirRichard,blindasabat,ofcourse,toanythingbelowthesurface,madeapointofseeingsomethingofLawrence’sbrother。AndonthedayofmyarrivalDerrickandIhadhardlysetoutforawalk,whenweranacrosstheoldman。
SirRichard,thoughrheumaticinthewrists,wasnimbleoffootandaninveteratewalker。HewasgoingwithhisdaughtertoseeoverBeckford’sTower,andinvitedustoaccompanyhim。Derrick,muchagainstthegrain,Ifancy,hadtotalktoFreda,who,inherwinterfursandclose—fittingvelvethat,lookedmorefascinatingthanever,whiletheoldmandescantedtomeonBathwaters,antiquities,etc。,inalong—windedwaythatlastedallupthehill。Wemadeourwayintothecemeteryandmountedthetowerstairs,thinkingofthepastwhenthisdrearyplacehadbeensogorgeouslyfurnished。HereDerrickcontrivedtogetaheadwithSirRichard,andFredalingeredinasortofalcovewithme。
\"Ihavebeensowantingtoseeyou,\"shesaid,inanagitatedvoice。
\"Oh,Mr。Wharncliffe,isittruewhatIhaveheardabouttheMajor?
Doeshedrink?\"
\"Whotoldyou?\"Isaid,alittleembarrassed。
\"Itwasourlandlady,\"saidFreda;\"sheisthedaughteroftheMajor’slandlady。AndyoushouldhearwhatshesaysofDerrick!
Why,hemustbeadownrighthero!AllthetimeIhavebeenhalfdespisinghim\"——shechokedbackasob——\"hehasbeentryingtosavehisfatherfromwhatwascertaindeathtohim——sotheytoldme。Doyouthinkitistrue?\"
\"Iknowitis,\"Irepliedgravely。
\"Andabouthisarm——wasthattrue?\"
Isignedanassent。
Hergreyeyesgrewmoist。
\"Oh,\"shecried,\"howIhavebeendeceivedandhowlittleLawrenceappreciateshim!IthinkhemustknowthatI’vemisjudgedhim,forheseemssooddandshy,andIdon’tthinkhelikestotalktome。\"
Ilookedsearchinglyintohertruthfulgreyeyes,thinkingofpoorDerrick’sunluckylove—story。
\"Youdonotunderstandhim,\"Isaid;\"andperhapsitisbestso。\"
Butthewordsandthelookwererash,forallatoncethecolourfloodedherface。Sheturnedquicklyaway,consciousatlastthatthemidsummerdreamofthoseyachtingdayshadtoDerrickbeennodreamatall,butalife—longreality。
IfeltverysorryforFreda,forshewasnotatallthesortofgirlwhowouldgloryinhavingafellowhopelesslyinlovewithher。I
knewthatthediscoveryshehadmadewouldbenothingbutasorrowtoher,andcouldguesshowshewouldreproachherselfforthatinnocentpastfancy,which,tillnow,hadseemedtohersofaintandfar—away——almostassomethingbelongingtoanotherlife。Allatonceweheardtheothersdescending,andsheturnedtomewithsuchafrightened,appealinglook,thatIcouldnotpossiblyhavehelpedgoingtotherescue。IplungedabruptlyintoadiscourseonBeckford,andtoldherhowheusedtokeepdiamondsinatea—cup,andamusedhimselfbyarrangingthemonapieceofvelvet。SirRichardfledfromthesoundofmyprosyvoice,and,needlesstosay,Derrickfollowedhim。Weletthemgetwellinadvanceandthenfollowed,Fredasilentanddistraite,buteverynowandthenaskingaquestionabouttheMajor。
AsforDerrick,evidentlyhewasonguard。HesawagooddealoftheMerrifieldsandwassedulouslyattentivetotheminmanysmallways;butwithFredahewascuriouslyreserved,andifbychancetheydidtalktogether,hetookgoodcaretobringLawrence’snameintotheconversation。Onthewhole,Ibelieveloyaltywashisstrongestcharacteristic,andwantofloyaltyinotherstriedhimmoreseverelythananythingintheworld。
Asthespringworeon,itbecameevidenttoeveryonethattheMajorcouldnotlastlong。Hisson’swatchfulnessandtheenforcedtemperancewhichthedoctorsinsistedonhadprolongedhislifetoacertainextent,butgraduallyhissufferingsincreasedandhisstrengthdiminished。Atlasthekepthisbedaltogether。
WhatDerrickboreatthistimenoonecaneverknow。When,onebrightsunshinySaturday,Iwentdowntoseehowhewasgettingon,Ifoundhimwornandhaggard,tooevidentlypayingthepenaltyofsleeplessnightsandthanklesscare。IwasalittleshockedtohearthatLawrencehadbeensummoned,butwhenIwastakenintothesickroomIrealisedthattheyhaddonewiselytosendforthefavouriteson。
TheMajorwasevidentlydying。
NevercanIforgetthecrueltyandmalevolencewithwhichhisbloodshoteyesrestedonDerrick,orthepatiencewithwhichthedearoldfellowborehisfather’sscathingsarcasms。ItwaswhileI
wassittingbythebedthatthelandladyenteredwithatelegram,whichsheputintoDerrick’shand。
\"FromLawrence!\"saidthedyingmantriumphantly,\"tosaybywhattrainwemayexpecthim。Well?\"asDerrickstillreadthemessagetohimself,\"can’tyouspeak,youd——didiot?Haveyoulostyourd—
—dtongue?Whatdoeshesay?\"
\"Iamafraidhecannotbeherejustyet,\"saidDerrick,tryingtotonedownthecurtmessage;\"itseemshecannotgetleave。\"
\"Notgetleavetoseehisdyingfather?Whatconfoundednonsense。
Givemethethinghere\";andhesnatchedthetelegramfromDerrickandreaditinaquavering,hoarsevoice:
\"Impossibletogetaway。Amhopelesslytiedhere。Lovetomyfather。Greatlyregrettohearsuchbadnewsofhim。\"
IthinkthatmessagemadetheoldmanrealisetheworthofLawrence’softenexpressedaffectionforhim。Clearlyitwasagreatblowtohim。Hethrewdownthepaperwithoutawordandclosedhiseyes。Forhalfanhourhelaylikethat,andwedidnotdisturbhim。Atlasthelookedup;hisvoicewasfainterandhismannermoregentle。
\"Derrick,\"hesaid,\"IbelieveI’vedoneyouaninjustice;itisyouwhocaredforme,notLawrence,andI’vestruckyournameoutofmywill——haveleftalltohim。Afterall,thoughyouareoneofthoseconfoundednovelists,you’vedonewhatyoucouldforme。Letsomeonefetchasolicitor——I’llalterit——I’llalterit!\"
Iinstantlyhurriedouttofetchalawyer,butitwasSaturdayafternoon,theofficeswereclosed,andsometimepassedbeforeI
hadcaughtmyman。Itoldhimaswehastenedbacksomeofthefactsofthecase,andhebroughthiswritingmaterialsintothesickroomandtookdownfromtheMajor’sownlipsthewordswhichwouldhavetheeffectofdividingtheoldman’spossessionsbetweenhistwosons。Dr。Mackrillwasnowpresent;hestoodononesideofthebed,hisfingersonthedyingman’spulse。OntheothersidestoodDerrick,adegreepalerandgraverthanusual,butrevealinglittleofhisrealfeelings。
\"Worditasbrieflyasyoucan,\"saidthedoctor。
Andthelawyerscribbledawayasthoughforhislife,whiletherestofuswaitedinawretchedhushedstateoftension。Intheroomitselftherewasnosoundsavethescratchingofthepenandthelabouredbreathingoftheoldman;butinthenexthousewecouldhearsomeoneplayingawaltz。Somehowitdidnotseemtomeincongruous,foritwas’Sweethearts,’andthathadbeenthefavouritewaltzofBenRhydding,sothatIalwaysconnecteditwithDerrickandhistrouble,andnowthewordsranginmyears:
\"Oh,loveforayear,aweek,aday,Butalas!forthelovethatlovesalway。\"
IfithadnotbeenfortheMajor’sreturnfromIndia,IfirmlybelievedthatDerrickandFredawouldbythistimehavebeenbetrothed。Derrickhadtakenalinewhichnecessarilydividedthem,haddonewhathesawtobehisduty;yetwhatweretheresults?HehadlostFreda,hehadlosthisbook,hehaddamagedhischanceofsuccessasawriter,hehadbeenstruckoutofhisfather’swill,andhehadsufferedunspeakably。Hadanythingwhateverbeengained?
TheMajorwasdyingunrepentanttoallappearance,ashardandcynicalanoldworldlingasIeversaw。Theonlysparkofgraceheshowedwasthattardyendeavourtomakeafreshwill。Whatgoodhaditallbeen?Whatgood?
Icouldnotanswerthequestionthen,couldonlycryoutinasortofindignation,\"Whatprofitisthereinhisblood?\"Butlookingatitnow,IhaveasortofperceptionthattheverylackofapparentprofitablenesswaspartofDerrick’straining,whileif,asInowinclinetothink,thereisahereafterwherethetrainingbegunhereiscontinued,theoldMajorinthehellhemostrichlydeservedwouldhavetheremembranceofhisson’spatienceandconstancyanddevotiontoserveasaguidinglightintheouterdarkness。
Thelawyernolongerwroteatrailroadspeed;hepushedbackhischair,broughtthewilltothebed,andplacedthepeninthetremblingyellowhandoftheinvalid。
\"Youmustsignyournamehere,\"hesaid,pointingwithhisfinger;
andtheMajorraisedhimselfalittle,andbroughtthepenquaveringlydowntowardsthepaper。WithasortoffascinationI
watchedthefinely—pointedsteelnib;ittrembledforaninstantortwo,thenthependroppedfromtheconvulsedfingers,andwithacryofintolerableanguishtheMajorfellback。
Forsomeminutestherewasapainfulstruggle;presentlywecaughtawordortwobetweenthegroansofthedyingman。
\"Toolate!\"hegasped,\"toolate!\"Andthenadreadfulvisionofhorrorsseemedtorisebeforehim,andwithaterrorthatIcanneverforgetheturnedtohissonandclutchedfastholdofhishands:\"Derrick!\"heshrieked。
Derrickcouldnotspeak,buthebentlowoverthebedasthoughtoscreenthedyingeyesfromthosehorriblevisions,andwithanoddsortofthrillIsawhimembracehisfather。
WhenheraisedhisheadtheterrorhaddiedoutoftheMajor’sface;
allwasover。
ChapterIX。
\"Todutyfirm,toconsciencetrue,Howevertriedandpressed,InGod’sclearsighthighworkwedo,Ifwebutdooutbest。\"
Lawrencecamedowntothefuneral,andItookgoodcarethatheshouldhearallabouthisfather’slasthours,andImadethesolicitorshowhimtheunsignedwill。Hemadehardlyanycommentonittillwethreewerealonetogether。Thenwithasortofkindlypatronageheturnedtohisbrother——Derrick,itmustberemembered,wastheeldertwin——andsaidpityingly,\"Pooroldfellow!itwasratherroughonyouthatthegovernorcouldn’tsignthis;butnevermind,you’llsoon,nodoubt,beearningafortunebyyourbooks;andbesides,whatdoesabachelorwantwithmorethanyou’vealreadyinheritedfromourmother?Whereas,anofficerjustgoingtobemarried,andwiththisconfoundedreputationofherotokeepup,why,Icantellyouitneedseverypennyofit!\"
Derricklookedathisbrothersearchingly。Ihonestlybelievethathedidn’tverymuchcareaboutthemoney,butitcuthimtotheheartthatLawrenceshouldtreathimsoshabbily。Thesoulofgenerosityhimself,hecouldnotunderstandhowanyonecouldframeaspeechsoinfernallymean。
\"Ofcourse,\"Ibrokein,\"ifDerricklikedtogotolawhecouldnodoubtgethisrights,therearethreewitnesseswhocanprovewhatwastheMajor’srealwish。\"
\"Ishallnotgotolaw,\"saidDerrick,withadignityofwhichIhadhardlyimaginedhimcapable。\"Youspokeofyourmarriage,Lawrence;
isittobesoon?\"
\"Thisautumn,Ihope,\"saidLawrence;\"atleast,ifIcanovercomeSirRichard’sridiculousnotionthatagirloughtnottomarrytillshe’stwenty—one。He’samostcrotchetyoldfellow,thatfuturefather—in—lawofmine。\"
WhenLawrencehadfirstcomebackfromthewarIhadthoughthimwonderfullyimproved,butalongcourseofspoilingandflatteryhaddonehimaworldofharm。Helikedverymuchtobelionised,andtoseehimnowposingindrawing—rooms,surroundedbyaworshippingthrongofwomen,wasenoughtosickenanysensiblebeing。
AsforDerrick,thoughhecouldnotbeexpectedtofeelhisbereavementintheordinaryway,yethisfather’sdeathhadbeenagreatshocktohim。ItwasarrangedthataftersettlingvariousmattersinBathheshouldgodowntostaywithhissisterforatime,joiningmeinMontagueStreetlateron。WhilehewasawayinBirmingham,however,anextraordinarychangecameintomyhumdrumlife,andwhenherejoinedmeafewweekslater,I——selfishbrute——
wassooverwhelmedwiththetroublethathadbefallenmethatI
thoughtverylittleindeedofhisaffairs。Hetookthisquiteasamatterofcourse,andwhatIshouldhavedonewithouthimIcan’tconceive。However,thisstoryconcernshimandhasnothingtodowithmyextraordinarydilemma;Imerelymentionitasafactwhichbroughtadditionalcaresintohislife。Allthetimehewasdoingwhatcouldbedonetohelpmehewasalsogoingthroughamostbafflingandmiserabletimeamongthepublishers;for’AtStrife,’
unlikeitspredecessor,wasrejectedbyDavisonandbyfiveotherhouses。Thinkofthis,youcomfortablereaders,asyouliebackinyoureasychairsandleisurelyturnthepagesofthatpopularstory。
Thebookwhichrepresentedyearsofstudyandlonghoursofhardworkwasfirstburnttoacinder。Itwasre—writtenwithwhatinfinitepainsandtoilfewcanunderstand。Itwasthensixtimestiedupandcarriedwithanxietyandhopetoapublisher’soffice,onlytore—appearsixtimesinMontagueStreet,anunwelcomevisitor,bringingwithitdepressionanddisappointment。
Derricksaidlittle,butsufferedmuch。However,nothingdauntedhim。Whenitcamebackfromthesixthpublisherhetookittoaseventh,thenreturnedandwroteawaylikeaTrojanathisthirdbook。TheonethingthatneverfailedhimwasthatcuriousconsciousnessthatheHADtowrite;liketheprophetsofold,the’burden’cametohim,andspeakithemust。
Theseventhpublisherwroteasomewhatdubiousletter:thebook,hethought,hadgreatmerit,butunluckilypeoplewereprejudiced,andhistoricalnovelsrarelymetwithsuccess。However,hewaswillingtotakethestory,andofferedhalfprofits,candidlyadmittingthathehadnogreathopesofalargesale。Derrickinstantlyclosedwiththisoffer,proofscamein,thebookappeared,waswellreceivedlikeitspredecessor,fellintothehandsofoneoftheleadersofSociety,and,totheintensesurpriseofthepublisher,provedtobethenoveloftheyear。Speedilyasecondeditionwascalledfor;then,afterabriefinterval,athirdedition——thistimearationalone—volumeaffair;andthewholelot——6,000Ibelieve——
wentoffonthedayofpublication。Derrickwasamazed;butheenjoyedhissuccessveryheartily,andIthinknoonecouldsaythathehadleaptintofameatabound。
Havingdevoured’AtStrife,’peoplebegantodiscoverthemeritsof’Lynwood’sHeritage;’thelibrarieswerebesiegedforit,andacheapeditionwashastilypublished,andanotherandanother,tillthebook,whichatfirsthadbeensuchadeadfailure,rivalled’AtStrife。’Trulyanauthor’scareerisacuriousthing;andpreciselywhythefirstbookfailed,andthesecondsucceeded,noonecouldexplain。
ItamusedmeverymuchtoseeDerrickturnedintoalion——hewassoessentiallyun—lion—like。Peoplewereforeveraskinghimhowheworked,andIrememberaveryprettygirlsettinguponhimonceatadinner—partywiththeembarrassingrequest:
\"Now,dotellme,Mr。Vaughan,howdoyouwritestories?Iwishyouwouldgivemeagoodreceiptforanovel。\"
Derrickhesitateduneasilyforaminute;finally,withahumoroussmile,hesaid:
\"Well,Ican’texactlytellyou,because,moreorless,novelsgrow;
butifyouwantareceipt,youmightperhapstryafterthisfashion:——Conceiveyourhero,addasprinklingoffriendsandrelatives,flavourwithwhateversceneryorlocalcolouryouplease,carefullyconsiderwhatcircumstancesaremostlikelytodevelopyourmanintothebestheiscapableof,allowthewholetosimmerinyourbrainaslongasyoucan,andthenserve,whilehot,withinkuponwhiteorbluefoolscap,accordingtotaste。\"
Theyoungladyapplaudedthereceipt,butshesighedalittle,andprobablyrelinquishedallhopeofconcoctinganovelherself;onthewhole,itseemedtoinvolveincessanttakingoftrouble。
AboutthistimeIremember,too,anotherlittlescene,whichI
enjoyedamazingly。IlaughnowwhenIthinkofit。Ihappenedtobeatahugeeveningcrush,andrathertomysurprise,cameacrossLawrenceVaughan。Weweretalkingtogether,whenupcameConningtonoftheForeignOffice。\"Isay,Vaughan,\"hesaid,\"LordRemingtonwishestobeintroducedtoyou。\"IwatchedtheoldstatesmanalittlecuriouslyashegreetedLawrence,andlistenedtohisfirstwords:\"Verygladtomakeyouracquaintance,CaptainVaughan;I
understandthattheauthorofthatgrandnovel,’AtStrife,’isabrotherofyours。\"AndpoorLawrencespentamauvaisquartd’heure,inwardlyfuming,Iknow,attheideathathe,theheroofSaspatarasHill,shouldbeconsideredmerelyas’thebrotherofVaughan,thenovelist。’
Fate,orperhapsIshouldsaytheeffectofhisownperniciousactions,didnotdealkindlyjustnowwithLawrence。SomehowFredalearntaboutthatwill,and,beingnobread—and—buttermiss,contentmeeklytoadoreherfianceanddeemhimfaultless,she’upandspake’onthesubject,andIfancypoorLawrencemusthavehadanothermauvaisquartd’heure。Itwasnotthis,however,whichledtoafinalbreachbetweenthem;itwassomethingwhichSirRicharddiscoveredwithregardtoLawrence’slifeatDover。Theengagementwasinstantlybrokenoff,andFreda,Iamsure,feltnothingbutrelief。Shewentabroadforsometime,however,andwedidnotseehertilllongafterLawrencehadbeencomfortablymarriedto1,500
poundsayearandamiddle—agedwidow,whohadlongbeenahero—
worshipper,andwho,Iamtold,neverallowedanyvisitortoleavethehousewithoutmakingsomeallusiontothememorablebattleofSaspatarasHillandherLawrence’sgallantaction。
ForthetwoyearsfollowingaftertheMajor’sdeath,DerrickandI,asImentionedbefore,sharedtheroomsinMontagueStreet。Forme,owingtothetroubleIspokeof,theywereyearsofmaddeningsuspenseandpain;butwhatpleasureIdidmanagetoenjoycameentirelythroughthesuccessofmyfriend’sbooksandfromhiscompanionship。ItwasoddthatfromthecareofhisfatherheshouldimmediatelypassontothecareofonewhohadmadesuchadisastrousmistakeasIhadmade。ButIfeelthelesscompunctionatthethoughtoftheamountofsympathyIcalledforatthattime,becauseInoticethatthegivingofsympathyisanecessityforDerrick,andthatwhenthetroublesofotherfolkdonotimmediatelythrustthemselvesintohislifehecarefullyhuntsthemup。DuringthesetwoyearshewasreadingfortheBar——notthatheeverexpectedtodoverymuchasabarrister,buthethoughtitwelltohavesomethingtofallbackon,anddeclaredthatthedrudgeryofthereadingwoulddohimgood。Hewasalsowritingasusual,andheusedtospendtwoeveningsaweekatWhitechapel,wherehetaughtoneoftheclassesinconnectionwithToynbeeHall,andwherehegainedthatknowledgeofEast—endlifewhichisconspicuousinhisthirdbook——’DickCarew。’This,withaneverincreasingandoftenveryburdensomecorrespondence,broughttohimbyhisbooks,andwithafairshareofdinners,’AtHomes,’andsoforth,madehislifeafullone。InaquietsortofwayIbelievehewashappyduringthistime。Butlateron,when,mytroubleatanend,Ihadmigratedtoahouseofmyown,andhewasleftaloneintheMontagueStreetrooms,hisspiritssomehowflagged。
Fameis,afterall,ahollow,unsatisfyingthingtoamanofhisnature。Heheartilyenjoyedhissuccess,hedelightedinhearingthathisbookshadgivenpleasureorhadbeenofusetoanyone,butnopublicvictorycouldintheleastmakeuptohimforthelosshehadsufferedinhisprivatelife;indeed,Ialmostthinkthereweretimeswhenhistriumphsasanauthorseemedtohimutterlyworthless——daysofdepressionwhenthecongratulationsofhisfriendswerenothingbutamockery。Hehadgainedastrikingsuccess,itistrue,buthehadlostFreda;hewasinthepositionofthestarvingmanwhohasreceivedagiftofbon—bons,butsocravesforbreadthattheyhalfsickenhim。Iusednowandthentowatchhisfacewhen,asoftenhappened,someonesaid:\"Whatanenviablefellowyouare,Vaughan,togetonlikethis!\"or,\"Whatwouldn’tIgivetochangeplaceswithyou!\"Hewouldinvariablysmileandturntheconversation;buttherewasalookinhiseyesatsuchtimesthatIhatedtosee——italwaysmademethinkofMrs。
Browning’spoem,’TheMask’:
\"Behindnoprison—grate,shesaid,Whichslursthesunshinehalfamile,LivecaptivessouncomfortedAssoulsbehindasmile。\"
AstotheMerrifields,therewasnochanceofseeingthem,forSirRichardhadgonetoIndiainsomeofficialcapacity,andnodoubt,aseveryonesaid,theywouldtakegoodcaretomarryFredaoutthere。DerrickhadnotseenhersincethattryingFebruaryatBath,longago。YetIfancyshewasneveroutofhisthoughts。
Andsotheyearsrolledon,andDerrickworkedawaysteadily,givinghisbookstotheworld,acceptingthecomfortsanddiscomfortsofanauthor’slife,laughingattheoutrageousreportsthatwereincirculationabouthim,yetoccasionally,Ithink,inwardlywincingatthem,andlearningfromthenumberofbeggingletterswhichhereceived,andintowhichheusuallycausedsearchinginquirytobemade,thatthereareintheworldavastnumberofundeservingpoor。
OnedayIhappenedtomeetLadyProbynatagarden—party;itwasatthesamehouseonCampdenHillwhereIhadoncemetFreda,andperhapsitwastherecollectionofthiswhichpromptedmetoenquireafterher。
\"Shehasnotbeenwell,\"saidLadyProbyn,\"andtheyaresendingherbacktoEngland;theclimatedoesn’tsuither。Sheistomakeherhomewithusforthepresent,soIamthegainer。Fredahasalwaysbeenmyfavouriteniece。Idon’tknowwhatitisaboutherthatissotaking;sheisnothalfsoprettyastheothers。\"
\"Butsomuchmorecharming,\"Isaid。\"IwondershehasnotmarriedoutinIndia,aseveryoneprophesied。\"
\"AndsodoI,\"saidheraunt。\"However,poorchild,nodoubt,afterhavingbeentwoyearsengagedtothatverydisappointingheroofSaspatarasHill,shewillbeshyofventuringtotrustanyoneagain。\"
\"Doyouthinkthataffaireverwentverydeep?\"Iventuredtoask。
\"Itseemedtomethatshelookedmiserableduringherengagement,andhappywhenitwasbrokenoff。\"
\"Quiteso,\"saidLadyProbyn;\"Inoticedthesamething。Itwasnothingbutamistake。Theywerenotintheleastsuitedtoeachother。By—the—by,IhearthatDerrickVaughanismarried。\"
\"Derrick?\"Iexclaimed;\"oh,no,thatisamistake。Itismerelyoneofthehundredandonereportsthatareforeverbeingsetafloatabouthim。\"
\"ButIsawitinapaper,Iassureyou,\"saidLadyProbyn,bynomeansconvinced。
\"Ah,thatmayverywellbe;theywerehardupforaparagraph,nodoubt,andinsertedit。But,asforDerrick,why,howshouldhemarry?HehasbeenmadlyinlovewithMissMerrifieldeversinceourcruiseintheAurora。\"
LadyProbynmadeaninarticulateexclamation。
\"Poorfellow!\"shesaid,afteraminute’sthought;\"thatexplainsmuchtome。\"
Shedidnotexplainherratherambiguousremark,andbeforelongourtete—a—tetewasinterrupted。
Nowthatmyfriendwasafull—fledgedbarrister,heandIsharedchambers,andonemorningaboutamonthafterthisgardenparty,DerrickcameinwithafaceofsuchradianthappinessthatI
couldn’timaginewhatgoodluckhadbefallenhim。
\"Whatdoyouthink?\"heexclaimed;\"here’saninvitationforacruiseintheAuroraattheendofAugust——tobenearlythesamepartythatwehadyearsago,\"andhethrewdowntheletterformetoread。
Ofcoursetherewasspecialmentionof\"myniece,MissMerrifield,whohasjustreturnedfromIndia,andisorderedplentyofsea—air。\"
Icouldhavetoldthatwithoutreadingtheletter,foritwaswrittenquiteclearlyinDerrick’sface。Helookedtenyearsyounger,andifanyofhisadoringreaderscouldhaveseentheprankshewasuptothatmorninginourstaidandrespectablechambers,Iamafraidtheywouldnolongerhavespokenofhim\"with’batedbreathandwhisperinghumbleness。\"
Asithappened,I,too,wasabletoleavehomeforafortnightattheendofAugust;andsoourpartyintheAurorareallywasthesame,exceptthatwewereallseveralyearsolder,andletushopewiser,thanonthepreviousoccasion。Consideringallthathadintervened,IwassurprisedthatDerrickwasnotmorealtered;asforFreda,shewasdecidedlypalerthanwhenwefirstmether,butbeforelongsea—airandhappinesswroughtawonderfultransformationinher。
Inspiteofthepessimistswhoareforeverwritingbooks,evenwritingnovels(moreshametothem),toprovethatthereisnosuchthingashappinessintheworld,wemanagedeveryoneofusheartilytoenjoyourcruise。Itseemedindeedtruethat:
\"Greenleavesandblossoms,andsunnywarmweather,Andsingingandlovingallcomebacktogether。\"
Something,atanyrate,oftheglamourofthosepastdayscamebacktousall,Ifancy,aswelaughedanddozedandidledandtalkedbeneaththesnowywingsoftheAurora,andIcannotsayIwasintheleastsurprisedwhen,onroamingthroughthepleasantgardenwalksinthatuniquelittleislandofTresco,IcameoncemoreuponDerrickandFreda,with,ifyouwillbelieveit,anotherhandfulofwhiteheathergiventothembythatdiscerninggardener!Fredaoncemoreremindedmeofthegirlinthe’BiglowPapers,’andDerrick’sfacewasfullofsuchblissasoneseldomsees。
Hehadalwayshadtowaitforhisgoodthings,butintheendtheycametohim。However,youmaydependuponit,hedidn’tsaymuch。
Thatwasneverhisway。Heonlygrippedmyhand,and,withhiseyesallaglowwithhappiness,exclaimed\"Congratulateme,oldfellow!\"