’Itisonlythroughdeepsympathythatamancanbecomeagreatartist。’——Lewes’sLifeofGoethe。
’Sympathyisfeelingrelatedtoanobject,whilstsentimentisthesamefeelingseekingitselfalone。’——ArnoldToynbee。
ChapterI。
’Nothingfillsachild’smindlikealargeoldmansion;betterifun—orpartiallyoccupied;peopledwiththespiritsofdeceasedmembersofthecountyandJusticesoftheQuorum。WouldIwereburiedinthepeopledsolitudeofone,withmyfeelingsatsevenyearsold!’——FromLettersofCharlesLamb。
ToattemptaformalbiographyofDerrickVaughanwouldbeoutofthequestion,eventhoughheandIhavebeenmoreorlessthrowntogethersincewewerebothinthenursery。ButIhaveanoddsortofwishtonotedownroughlyjustafewofmyrecollectionsofhim,andtoshowhowhisfortunesgraduallydeveloped,beingperhapsstimulatedtomaketheattemptbycertainirritatingremarkswhichoneoverhearsnowoftenenoughatclubsorindrawing—rooms,orindeedwhereveronegoes。\"DerrickVaughan,\"saytheseauthoritiesoftheworldofsmall—talk,withthatdelightfulairofomnisciencewhichinvariablycharacterisesthem,\"why,hesimplyleaptintofame。Heisoneofthefavouritesoffortune。LikeByron,hewokeonemorningandfoundhimselffamous。\"
Nowthissoundswellenough,butitisalongwayfromthetruth,andI——SydneyWharncliffe,oftheInnerTemple,Barrister—at—law——
desire,whilethepastfewyearsarefreshinmymind,towriteatrueversionofmyfriend’scareer。
Everyoneknowshisface。Hasitnotappearedin’NotedMen,’and——
graduallydeterioratingaccordingtothepriceofthepaperandthequalityoftheengraving——inmanyanotherillustratedjournal?Yetsomehowtheseworksofartdon’tsatisfyme,and,asIwrite,IseebeforemesomethingverydifferentfromthelatestphotographbyMessrs。PaulandReynard。
Iseealarge—featured,broad—browedEnglishface,atrifleheavy—
lookingwheninrepose,yetathorough,honest,manlyface,withacomplexionneitherdarknorfair,withbrownhairandmoustache,andwithlighthazeleyesthatlookoutontheworldquietlyenough。
Youmighttalktohimforlonginanordinarywayandneversuspectthathewasagenius;butwhenyouhavehimtoyourself,whensomeconsciousnessofsympathyrouseshim,heallatoncebecomesadifferentbeing。Hisquieteyeskindle,hisfacebecomesfulloflife——youwonderthatyoueverthoughtitheavyorcommonplace。
Thentheworldinterruptsinsomeway,and,justasahermit—crabdrawsdownitsshellwithacomicallyrapidmovement,soDerricksuddenlyretiresintohimself。
Thusmuchforhisouterman。
Fortherest,thereareofcoursetheneatlittleaccountsofhisbirthplace,hisparentage,hiseducation,etc。,etc。,publishedwiththelistofhisworksindueorder,withtheengravingsintheillustratedpapers。Butthesetelluslittleofthereallifeoftheman。
Carlyle,inoneofhisfinestpassages,saysthat’Atruedelineationofthesmallestmanandhissceneofpilgrimagethroughlifeiscapableofinterestingthegreatestmen;thatallmenaretoanunspeakabledegreebrothers,eachman’slifeastrangeemblemofeveryman’s;andthathumanportraitsfaithfullydrawnareofallpicturesthewelcomestonhumanwalls。’AndthoughIdon’tprofesstogiveaportrait,butmerelyasketch,Iwillendeavourtosketchfaithfully,andpossiblyinthefuturemyworkmayfallintothehandsofsomeofthoseworthypeoplewhoimaginethatmyfriendleaptintofameatabound,orofthosecomfortablemortalswhoseemtothinkthatanovelisturnedoutaseasilyaswaterfromatap。
Thereis,however,onethingIcanneverdo:——Iamquiteunabletoputintowordsmyfriend’sintenselystrongfeelingwithregardtothesacrednessofhisprofession。ItseemedtomenotunlikethefeelingofIsaiahwhen,inthevision,hismouthhadbeentouchedwiththecelestialfire。AndIcanonlyhopethatsomethingofthismaybereadbetweenmyveryinadequatelines。
Lookingback,IfancyDerrickmusthavebeenacleverchild。Buthewasnotprecocious,andinsomerespectswasevendecidedlybackward。Icanseehimnow——itismyfirstclearrecollectionofhim——leaningbackinthecornerofmyfather’scarriageaswedrovefromtheNewmarketstationtooursummerhomeatMondisfield。HeandIweresmallboysofeight,andDerrickhadbeeninvitedfortheholidays,whilehistwinbrother——ifIrememberright——indulgedintyphoidfeveratKensington。Hewasshyandsilent,andtheicewasnotbrokenuntilwepassedSilverySteeple。
\"That,\"saidmyfather,\"isaruinedchurch;itwasdestroyedbyCromwellintheCivilWars。\"
Inaninstantthesmallquietboysittingbesidemewastransformed。
Hiseyesshone;hesprangforwardandthrusthisheadfaroutofthewindow,gazingattheoldivy—coveredtoweraslongasitremainedinsight。
\"WasCromwellreallyoncethere?\"heaskedwithbreathlessinterest。
\"Sotheysay,\"repliedmyfather,lookingwithanamusedsmileatthefaceofthequestioner,inwhicheagerness,delight,andreverenceweremingled。\"AreyouanadmireroftheLordProtector?\"
\"Heismygreatestheroofall,\"saidDerrickfervently。\"Doyouthink——oh,doyouthinkhepossiblycaneverhavecometoMondisfield?\"
Myfatherthoughtnot,butsaidtherewasanoldtraditionthattheHallhadbeenattackedbytheRoyalists,andthebridgeoverthemoatdefendedbytheownerofthehouse;buthehadnogreatbeliefinthestory,forwhich,indeed,thereseemednoevidence。
Derrick’seyesduringthisconversationweresomethingwonderfultosee,andlongafter,whenwewerenotactuallyplayingatanything,Iusedoftentonoticethesameexpressionstealingoverhim,andwouldcryout,\"Thereisthemandefendingthebridgeagain;Icanseehiminyoureyes!Tellmewhathappenedtohimnext!\"
Then,generallypacingtoandfrointheapplewalk,orsittingastridethebridgeitself,Derrickwouldtellmeoftheadventuresofmyancestor,PaulWharncliffe,whoperformedincrediblefeatsofvalour,andwhowastobothofusamostrealperson。Onwetdayshewrotehisstoryinacopy—book,andwouldhaveworkedatitforhourshadmymotherallowedhim,thoughofthemanualpartoftheworkhehad,andhasalwaysretained,thegreatestdislike。I
rememberwellthecomicalendingofthisfirststoryofhis。Heskippedoveranintervaloftenyears,representedonthepagebytenlaboriouslymadestars,anddidforhisherointhefollowinglines:
\"Andnow,reader,letuscomeintoMondisfieldchurchyard。Therearethreetombstones。Ononeiswritten,’Mr。PaulWharncliffe。’\"
Thestorywasnobetterthantheproductionsofmosteight—year—oldchildren,thewrittenstoryatleast。But,curiouslyenough,itprovedtobethegermofthecelebratedromance,’AtStrife,’whichDerrickwroteinafteryears;andhehimselfmaintainsthathispictureoflifeduringtheCivilWarwouldhavebeenmuchlessgraphichadhenotlivedsomuchinthepastduringhisvariousvisitstoMondisfield。
Itwasathissecondvisit,whenwewerenine,thatIrememberhisannouncinghisintentionofbeinganauthorwhenhewasgrownup。
Mymotherstilldelightsintellingthestory。Shewassittingatworkinthesouthparlouroneday,whenIdashedintotheroomcallingout:
\"Derrick’sheadisstuckbetweenthebanistersinthegallery;comequick,mother,comequick!\"
Sheranupthelittlewindingstaircase,andthere,sureenough,inthemusician’sgallery,waspoorDerrick,hismanuscriptandpenonthefloorandhisheadindurancevile。
\"Yousillyboy!\"saidmymother,alittlefrightenedwhenshefoundthattogettheheadbackwasnoeasymatter,\"Whatmadeyouputitthrough?\"
\"YoulooklikeKingCharlesatCarisbrooke,\"Icried,forgettinghowmuchDerrickwouldresentthespeech。
Andbeingreleasedatthatmomenthetookmebytheshouldersandgavemeanangryshakeortwo,ashesaidvehemently,\"I’mnotlikeKingCharles!KingCharleswasaliar。\"
Isawmymothersmilealittleassheseparatedus。
\"Come,boys,don’tquarrel,\"shesaid。\"AndDerrickwilltellmethetruth,forindeedIamcurioustoknowwhyhethrusthisheadinsuchaplace。\"
\"Iwantedtomakesure,\"saidDerrick,\"whetherPaulWharncliffecouldseeLadyLettice,whenshetookthefalcononherwristbelowinthepassage。Imustn’tsayhesawherifit’simpossible,youknow。Authorshavetobequitetrueinlittlethings,andImeantobeanauthor。\"
\"But,\"saidmymother,laughingatthegreatearnestnessofthehazeleyes,\"couldnotyourherolookoverthetopoftherail?\"
\"Well,yes,\"saidDerrick。\"Hewouldhavedonethat,butyouseeit’ssodreadfullyhighandIcouldn’tgetup。ButItellyouwhat,Mrs。Wharncliffe,ifitwouldn’tbegivingyouagreatdealoftrouble——I’msorryyouweretroubledtogetmyheadbackagain——butifyouwouldjustlookover,sinceyouaresotall,andI’llrundownandactLadyLettice。\"
\"Whycouldn’tPaulgodownstairsandlookattheladyincomfort?\"
askedmymother。
Derrickmusedalittle。
\"Hemightlookatherthroughacrackinthedooratthefootofthestairs,perhaps,butthatwouldseemmean,somehow。Itwouldbeapity,too,nottousethegallery;galleriesareuncommon,yousee,andyoucangetcrackeddoorsanywhere。And,youknow,hewasobligedtolookatherwhenshecouldn’tseehim,becausetheirfatherswereondifferentsidesinthewar,anddreadfulenemies。\"
Whenschool—dayscame,matterswentonmuchinthesameway;therewasalwaysanabominablyscribbledtalestowedawayinDerrick’sdesk,andheworkedinfinitelyharderthanIdid,becausetherewasalwaysbeforehimthisdeterminationtobeanauthorandtopreparehimselfforthelife。Buthewrotemerelyfromloveofit,andwithnoideaofpublicationuntilthebeginningofourlastyearatOxford,when,havingreachedtheripeageofone—and—twenty,hedeterminedtodelaynolonger,buttoplungeboldlyintohisfirstnovel。
Hewasseldomabletogetmorethansixoreighthoursaweekforit,becausehewasreadingratherhard,sothatthenovelprogressedbutslowly。Finally,tomyastonishment,itcametoadeadstand—
still。
IhavenevermadeoutexactlywhatwaswrongwithDerrickthen,thoughIknowthathepassedthroughaterribletimeofdoubtanddespair。IspentpartoftheLongwithhimdownatVentnor,wherehismotherhadbeenorderedforherhealth。ShewasdevotedtoDerrick,andasfarasIcanunderstand,hewasherchiefcomfortinlife。MajorVaughan,thehusband,hadbeenoutinIndiaforyears;
theonlydaughterwasmarriedtoarichmanufactureratBirmingham,whohadaconstitutionaldisliketomothers—in—law,andasfaraspossibleeschewedtheircompany;whileLawrence,Derrick’stwinbrother,wasforevergettingintoscrapes,andwasintothebargainthemostunblushinglyselfishfellowIeverhadthepleasureofmeeting。
\"Sydney,\"saidMrs。Vaughantomeoneafternoonwhenwewereinthegarden,\"Derrickseemstomeunlikehimself,thereisadivisionbetweenuswhichIneverfeltbefore。Canyoutellmewhatistroublinghim?\"
Shewasnotatallagood—lookingwoman,butshehadaverysweet,wistfulface,andIneverlookedathersadeyeswithoutfeelingreadytogothroughfireandwaterforher。ItriednowtomakelightofDerrick’sdepression。
\"Heisonlygoingthroughwhatweallofusgothrough,\"Isaid,assumingacheerfultone。\"Hehassuddenlydiscoveredthatlifeisagreatriddle,andthatthethingshehasacceptedinblindfaithare,afterall,notsosure。\"
Shesighed。
\"Doallgothroughit?\"shesaidthoughtfully。\"Andhowmany,I
wonder,getbeyond?\"
\"Fewenough,\"Irepliedmoodily。Then,rememberingmyrole,——\"ButDerrickwillgetthrough;hehasathousandthingstohelphimwhichothershavenot,——you,forinstance。AndthenIfancyhehasasortofinsightwhichmostofusarewithout。\"
\"Possibly,\"shesaid。\"Asforme,itislittlethatIcandoforhim。Perhapsyouareright,anditistruethatonceinalifeatanyrateweallhavetogointothewildernessalone。\"
ThatwasthelastsummerIeversawDerrick’smother;shetookachillthefollowingChristmasanddiedafterafewdays’illness。
ButIhavealwaysthoughtherdeathhelpedDerrickinawaythatherlifemighthavefailedtodo。Foralthoughhenever,Ifancy,quiterecoveredfromtheblow,andtothisdaycannotspeakofherwithouttearsinhiseyes,yetwhenhecamebacktoOxfordheseemedtohavefoundtheanswertotheriddle,andthougholder,sadderandgraverthanbefore,hadquitelosttherestlessdissatisfactionthatforsometimehadcloudedhislife。Inafewmonths,moreover,I
noticedafreshsignthathewasoutofthewood。ComingintohisroomsonedayIfoundhimsittinginthecushionedwindow—seat,readingoverandcorrectingsomesheetsofbluefoolscap。
\"Atitagain?\"Iasked。
Henodded。
\"Imeantofinishthefirstvolumehere。FortherestImustbeinLondon。\"
\"Why?\"Iasked,alittlecuriousastothisunknownartofnovel—
making。
\"Because,\"hereplied,\"onemustbeintheheartofthingstounderstandhowLynwoodwasaffectedbythem。\"
\"Lynwood!Ibelieveyouarealwaysthinkingofhim!\"(Lynwoodwastheheroofhisnovel。)
\"Well,soIamnearly——soImustbe,ifthebookistobeanygood。\"
\"Readmewhatyouhavewritten,\"Isaid,throwingmyselfbackinaricketybuttolerablycomfortablearm—chairwhichDerrickhadinheritedwiththerooms。
Hehesitatedamoment,beingalwaysverydiffidentabouthisownwork;butpresently,havingprovidedmewithacigarandmadeagooddealofunnecessaryworkinarrangingthesheetsofthemanuscript,hebegantoreadaloud,rathernervously,theopeningchaptersofthebooknowsowellknownunderthetitleof’Lynwood’sHeritage。’
Ihadheardnothingofhisforthelastfouryears,andwasamazedatthegiganticstridehehadmadeintheinterval。For,spiteofacertaincrudeness,itseemedtomeamostpowerfulstory;itrushedstraighttothepointwithnowavering,nobeatingaboutthebush;
itflungitselfintotheproblemsofthedaywithasortofsublimeaudacity;ittookholdofone;itwhirledonealongwithitsowninherentforce,anddrewforthbothlaughterandtears,forDerrick’spowerofpathoshadalwaysbeenhisstrongestpoint。
Allatoncehestoppedreading。
\"Goon!\"Icriedimpatiently。
\"Thatisall,\"hesaid,gatheringthesheetstogether。
\"Youstoppedinthemiddleofasentence!\"Icriedinexasperation。
\"Yes,\"hesaidquietly,\"forsixmonths。\"
\"Youprovokingfellow!why,Iwonder?\"
\"BecauseIdidn’tknowtheend。\"
\"Goodheavens!Anddoyouknowitnow?\"
Helookedmefullintheface,andtherewasanexpressioninhiseyeswhichpuzzledme。
\"IbelieveIdo,\"hesaid;and,gettingup,hecrossedtheroom,putthemanuscriptawayinadrawer,andreturning,satdowninthewindow—seatagain,lookingoutonthenarrow,pavedstreetbelow,andatthegreybuildingsopposite。
IknewverywellthathewouldneveraskmewhatIthoughtofthestory——thatwasnothisway。
\"Derrick!\"Iexclaimed,watchinghisimpassiveface,\"Ibelieveafterallyouareagenius。\"
IhardlyknowwhyIsaid\"afterall,\"buttillthatmomentithadneverstruckmethatDerrickwasparticularlygifted。HehadsofargotthroughhisOxfordcareercreditably,butthenhehadworkedhard;histalentswerenotofashowyorder。IhadneverexpectedthathewouldsettheThamesonfire。Evennowitseemedtomethathewastoodreamy,tooquiet,toodevoidofthepushingfacultytosucceedintheworld。
Myremarkmadehimlaughincredulously。
\"Defineagenius,\"hesaid。
ForanswerIpulleddownhisbelovedImperialDictionaryandreadhimthefollowingquotationfromDeQuincey:’Geniusisthatmodeofintellectualpowerwhichmovesinalliancewiththegenialnature,i。e。,withthecapacitiesofpleasureandpain;whereastalenthasnovestigeofsuchanalliance,andisperfectlyindependentofallhumansensibilities。’
\"Letmethink!YoucancertainlyenjoythingsahundredtimesmorethanIcan——andasforsuffering,whyyouwerealwaysagreathandatthat。NowlistentothegreatDr。Johnsonandseeifthecapfits,’Thetruegeniusisamindoflargegeneralpowersaccidentallydeterminedinsomeparticulardirection。’
\"’Largegeneralpowers’!——yes,Ibelieveafterallyouhavethemwith,alas,poorDerrick!onenotableexception——themathematicalfaculty。Youwerealwaysbadatfigures。WewillsticktoDeQuincey’sdefinition,andforheaven’ssake,mydearfellow,dogetLynwoodoutofthatawfulplight!Nowonderyouweredepressedwhenyoulivedallthisagewithsuchasentenceunfinished!\"
\"Forthematterofthat,\"saidDerrick,\"hecan’tgetouttilltheendofthebook;butIcanbegintogoonwithhimnow。\"
\"AndwhenyouleaveOxford?\"
\"ThenImeantosettledowninLondon——towriteleisurely——andpossiblytoreadfortheBar。\"
\"Wemightbetogether,\"Isuggested。AndDerricktooktothisidea,beingamanwhodetestedsolitudeandcrowdsaboutequally。Sincehismother’sdeathhehadbeenverymuchaloneintheworld。ToLawrencehewasalwaysloyal,butthetwohadnothingincommon,andthoughfondofhissisterhecouldnotgetonatallwiththemanufacturer,hisbrother—in—law。ButthisprospectoflifetogetherinLondonpleasedhimamazingly;hebegantorecoverhisspiritstoagreatextentandtolookmuchmorelikehimself。
ItmusthavebeenjustashehadtakenhisdegreethathereceivedatelegramtoannouncethatMajorVaughanhadbeeninvalidedhome,andwouldarriveatSouthamptoninthreeweeks’time。Derrickknewverylittleofhisfather,butapparentlyMrs。VaughanhaddoneherbesttokeepupasortofmemoryofhischildishdaysatAldershot,andinthesethepartthathisfatherplayedwasalwayspleasant。Sohelookedforwardtothemeetingnotalittle,whileI,fromthefirst,hadmydoubtsastothefelicityitwaslikelytobringhim。
However,itwasordainedthatbeforetheMajor’sshiparrived,hisson’swholelifeshouldchange。EvenLynwoodwasthrustintothebackground。Asforme,Iwasnowhere。ForDerrick,thequiet,theself—contained,hadfallenpassionatelyinlovewithacertainFredaMerrifield。
ChapterII。
’Infancy?Whatiftherose—streakofmorningPaleanddepartinapassionoftears?
Oncetohavehopedisnomatterforscorning:
Loveonce:e’enlove’sdisappointmentendears;
Amoment’ssuccesspaysthefailureofyears。’
R。Browning。
Thewonderwouldhavebeenifhehadnotfalleninlovewithher,foramorefascinatinggirlIneversaw。ShehadonlyjustreturnedfromschoolatCompiegne,andwasnotyetout;hercharmingfreshnesswasunsullied;shehadallthesimplicityandstraightforwardnessofunspoilt,unsophisticatedgirlhood。Iwellrememberourfirstsightofher。Wehadbeeninvitedforafortnight’syachtingbyCalverleyofExeter。Hisfather,SirJohnCalverley,hadasailingyacht,andsomeguestshavingdisappointedhimatthelastminute,hegavehissoncarteblancheastowhoheshouldbringtofillthevacantberths。
SowethreetravelleddowntoSouthamptontogetheronehotsummerday,andwererowedouttotheAurora,anuncommonlyneatlittleschoonerwhichlayinthatover—ratedandfrequentlyodoriferousroadstead,SouthamptonWater。However,Iadmitthatonthatevening——thetidebeinghigh——theplacelookedremarkablypretty;
thelevelraysofthesettingsunturnedthewatertogold;asoftluminoushazehungoverthetownandtheshipping,andbyastretchofimaginationonemighthavethoughttheviewalmostVenetian。
Derrick’sperfectcontentwasonlymarredbyhisshyness。IknewthathedreadedreachingtheAurora;andsureenough,aswesteppedontotheexquisitelywhitedeckandcaughtsightofthelittlegroupofguests,Isawhimretreatintohiscrab—shellofsilentreserve。SirJohn,whomadeaverypleasanthost,introducedustotheothervisitors——LordProbynandhiswifeandtheirniece,MissFredaMerrifield。LadyProbynwasSirJohn’ssister,andalsothesisterofMissMerrifield’smother;sothatitwasalmostafamilyparty,andbynomeansaformidablegathering。LadyProbynplayedthepartofhostessandchaperonedherprettyniece;butshewasnotintheleastliketheauntoffiction——onthecontrary,shewascomparativelyyounginyearsandalmostcomicallyyounginmind;herniecewasdevotedtoher,andthemomentIsawherIknewthatourcruisecouldnotpossiblybedull。
AstoMissFreda,whenwefirstcaughtsightofhershewasstandingnearthecompanion,dressedinadaintilymadeyachtingcostumeofbluesergeandwhitebraid,androundherwhitesailorhatsheworethenameoftheyachtstampedonawhiteribbon;inherwaist—bandshehadfastenedtwodeepcrimsonroses,andshelookedatuswithfrank,girlishcuriosity,nodoubtwonderingwhetherweshouldaddtoordetractfromtheenjoymentoftheexpedition。Shewasrathertall,andtherewasanairofstrengthandenergyaboutherwhichwasmostrefreshing。Herskinwassingularlywhite,buttherewasahealthyglowofcolourinhercheeks;whileherlarge,greyeyes,shadedbylonglashes,werefulloflifeandbrightness。Astoherfeatures,theywereperhapsatrifleirregular,andhereldersistersweresupposedtoeclipseheraltogether;buttomymindshewasfarthemosttakingofthethree。
IwasnotintheleastsurprisedthatDerrickshouldfallheadoverearsinlovewithher;shewasexactlythesortofgirlthatwouldinfalliblyattracthim。Herabsenceofshyness;herstraightforward,easywayoftalking;hergenuinegoodheartedness;
herdevotiontoanimals——oneofhisownpethobbies——andfinallyherexquisiteplaying,madetheresultaforegoneconclusion。Andthen,moreover,theywereperpetuallytogether。Hewouldhangoverthepianointhesaloonforhourswhilesheplayed,therestofuslazilyenjoyingtheeasychairsandthefreshairondeck;andwheneverwelanded,thesetwoweresureintheendtobejustalittleapartfromtherestofus。
Itwasaneminentlysuccessfulcruise。Wealllikedeachother;theseawascalm,thesunshineconstant,thewindasarulefavourable,andIthinkIneverinasinglefortnightheardsomanygoodstories,orhadsuchagoodtime。Weseemedtogetrightoutoftheworldanditsnarrowrestrictions,awayfromallthatwashollowandbaseanddepressing,onlylandingnowandthenatquaintlittlequietplacesforsomemerryexcursiononshore。Fredawasinthehighestspirits;andastoDerrick,hewasadifferentcreature。
Sheseemedtohavethepowerofdrawinghimoutinamarvellousdegree,andshetookthegreatestinterestinhiswork——asurewaytoeveryauthor’sheart。
Butitwasnottilloneday,whenwelandedatTresco,thatIfeltcertainshegenuinelylovedhim——thereinoneglancethetruthflasheduponme。Iwaswalkingwithoneofthegardenersdownoneofthelongshadypathsofthatlovelylittleisland,withitscuriouslyforeignlook,whenwesuddenlycamefacetofacewithDerrickandFreda。Theyweretalkingearnestly,andIcouldseehergreatgreyeyesastheywereliftedtohis——perhapstheyweremoreexpressivethansheknew——Icannotsay。Theybothstartedalittleasweconfrontedthem,andthecolourdeepenedinFreda’sface。Thegardener,withwhatphotographersusuallyaskfor——’justthefaintbeginningofasmile,’——turnedandgatheredabitofwhiteheathergrowingnear。
\"Theysayitbringsgoodluck,miss,\"heremarked,handingittoFreda。
\"Thankyou,\"shesaid,laughing,\"Ihopeitwillbringittome。Atanyrateitwillremindmeofthisbeautifulisland。Isn’titjustlikeParadise,Mr。Wharncliffe?\"
\"FormeitislikeParadisebeforeEvewascreated,\"Ireplied,ratherwickedly。\"Bythebye,areyougoingtokeepallthegoodlucktoyourself?\"
\"Idon’tknow,\"shesaidlaughing。\"PerhapsIshall;butyouhaveonlytoaskthegardener,hewillgatheryouanotherpiecedirectly。\"
Itookgoodcaretodropbehind,havingnotasteforthethird—
fiddlebusiness;butInoticedwhenwewereinthegigoncemore,rowingbacktotheyacht,thatthewhiteheatherhadbeenequallydivided——onehalfwasinthewaist—bandofthebluesergedress,theotherhalfinthebutton—holeofDerrick’sblazer。
Sothefortnightslippedby,andatlengthoneafternoonwefoundourselvesoncemoreinSouthamptonWater;thencamethebustleofpackingandthehurryofdeparture,andthemerrypartydispersed。
DerrickandIsawthemalloffatthestation,for,ashisfather’sshipdidnotarrivetillthefollowingday,ImadeupmymindtostayonwithhimatSouthampton。
\"Youwillcomeandseeusintown,\"saidLadyProbyn,kindly。AndLordProbyninvitedusbothfortheshootingatBlachingtoninSeptember。\"Wewillhavethesamepartyonshore,andseeifwecan’tenjoyourselvesalmostaswell,\"hesaidinhisheartyway;
\"thenovelwillgoallthebetterforit,eh,Vaughan?\"
Derrickbrightenedvisiblyatthesuggestion。IheardhimtalkingtoFredaallthetimethatSirJohnstoodlaughingandjokingastothecomparativepleasuresofyachtingandshooting。
\"Youwillbetheretoo?\"Derrickasked。
\"Ican’ttell,\"saidFreda,andtherewasashadeofsadnessinhertone。Hervoicewasdeeperthanmostwomen’svoices——arichcontraltowithsomethingstrikingandindividualaboutit。Icouldhearherquiteplainly;butDerrickspokelessdistinctly——healwayshadabadtrickofmumbling。
\"YouseeIamtheyoungest,\"shesaid,\"andIamnotreally’out。’
Perhapsmymotherwillwishoneoftheelderonestogo;butIhalfthinktheyarealreadyengagedforSeptember,soafterallImayhaveachance。\"
Inaudibleremarkfrommyfriend。
\"Yes,IcameherebecausemysistersdidnotcaretoleaveLondontilltheendoftheseason,\"repliedtheclearcontralto。\"Ithasbeenaperfectcruise。Ishallrememberitallmylife。\"
Afterthat,nothingmorewasaudible;butIimagineDerrickmusthavehazardedamorepersonalquestion,andthatFredahadadmittedthatitwasnotonlytheactualsailingsheshouldremember。AtanyrateherfacewhenIcaughtsightofitagainmademethinkofthegirldescribedinthe’BiglowPapers’:
\"’’Twaskin’o’kingdomcometolookOnsechablessedcreatur。
Adogroseblushin’toabrookAin’tmodesternorsweeter。’\"
Sothetrainwentoff,andDerrickandIwerelefttoidleaboutSouthamptonandkilltimeasbestwemight。Derrickseemedtowalkthestreetsinasortofdream——hewasperfectlywellawarethathehadmethisfate,andatthattimenothoughtofdifficultiesinthewayhadariseneitherinhismindorinmyown。Wewerebothofusyoungandinexperienced;wewerebothofusinlove,andwehadtheusuallover’snotionthateverythinginheavenandearthispreparedtofavourthecourseofhisparticularpassion。
Irememberthatwesoonfoundthetownintolerable,and,crossingbytheferry,walkedovertoNetleyAbbey,andlaydownidlyintheshadeoftheoldgreywalls。Notabreathofwindstirredthegreatmassesofivywhichwerewreathedabouttheruinedchurch,andtheplacelookedsolovelyinitsdecay,thatwefeltdisposedtojudgethedissolutemonksverylenientlyforhavingbehavedsobadlythattheirchurchandmonasteryhadtobeopenedtothefourwindsofheaven。Afterall,whenisachurchsobeautifulaswhenithasthegreengrassforitsfloorandtheskyforitsroof?
IcouldshowyoutheveryspotneartheEastwindowwhereDerricktoldmethewholetruth,andwherewetalkedoverFreda’sperfectionsandtheprobabilityoffrequentmeetingsinLondon。Hehadlistenedsooftenandsopatientlytomyaffairs,thatitseemedanoddreversaltohavetoplaytheconfidant;andifnowandthenmythoughtswanderedofftothecomingmonthatMondisfield,andpicturedvioleteyeswhilehetalkedofgrey,itwasnotfromanylackofsympathywithmyfriend。
Derrickwasnotofaself—tormentingnature,andthoughIknewhewasamazedatthethoughtthatsuchagirlasFredacouldpossiblycareforhim,yethebelievedmostimplicitlythatthiswonderfulthinghadcometopass;and,rememberingherfaceaswehadlastseenit,andthelookinhereyesatTresco,I,too,hadnotashadowofadoubtthatshereallylovedhim。Shewasnottheleastbitofaflirt,andsocietyhadnothadachanceyetofmouldingherintotheordinarygirlofthenineteenthcentury。
PerhapsitwasthesuddenandunexpectedchangeofthenextdaythatmakesmerememberDerrick’sfacesodistinctlyashelaybackonthesmoothturfthatafternooninNetleyAbbey。Asitlookedthen,fullofyouthandhope,fullofthatdreamofcloudlesslove,Ineversawitagain。
ChapterIII。
\"Religioninhimneverdied,butbecameahabit——ahabitofenduringhardness,andcleavingtothesteadfastperformanceofdutyinthefaceofthestrongestallurementstothepleasanterandeasiercourse。\"
LifeofCharlesLamb,byA。Ainger。
Derrickwasingoodspiritsthenextday。HetalkedmuchofMajorVaughan,wonderedwhetherthevoyagehomehadrestoredhishealth,discussedtheprobablelengthofhisleave,andspeculatedastothenatureofhisillness;thetelegramhadofcoursegivennodetails。
\"Therehasnotbeenevenaphotographforthelastfiveyears,\"heremarked,aswewalkeddowntothequaytogether。\"YetIthinkI
shouldknowhimanywhere,ifitisonlybyhisheight。Heusedtolooksowellonhorseback。IrememberasachildseeinghiminashamfightchargingupCaesar’sCamp。\"
\"Howoldwereyouwhenhewentout?\"
\"Oh,quiteasmallboy,\"repliedDerrick。\"ItwasjustbeforeI
firststayedwithyou。However,hehashadaregularsuccessionofphotographssentouttohim,andwillknowmeeasilyenough。\"
PoorDerrick!Ican’tthinkofthatdayevennowwithoutakindofmentalshiver。Wewatchedthegreatsteamerasitglideduptothequay,andDerrickscannedthecrowdeddeckwitheagereyes,butcouldnowhereseethetall,soldierlyfigurethathadlingeredsolonginhismemory。Hestoodwithhishandrestingontherailofthegangway,andwhenpresentlyitwasraisedtothesideofthesteamer,hestillkepthisposition,sothathecouldinstantlycatchsightofhisfatherashepasseddown。Istoodclosebehindhim,andwatchedthemotleyprocessionofpassengers;mostofthemhadthedullcolourlessskinwhichbespeakslongresidenceinIndia,andaparticularlyyellowandpeevish—lookingoldmanwasgrumblingloudlyasheslowlymadehiswaydownthegangway。
\"Themostdisgracefulscene!\"heremarked。\"Thefellowwasasdrunkashecouldbe。\"
\"Whowasit?\"askedhiscompanion。
\"Why,MajorVaughan,tobesure。Theonlywonderisthathehasn’tdrunkhimselftodeathbythistime——beenatityearsenough!\"
Derrickturned,asthoughtoshelterhimselffromthecuriouseyesofthetravellers;buteverywherethequaywascrowded。Itseemedtomenotunlikethelifethatlaybeforehim,withthisnewshamewhichcouldnotbehid,andIshallneverforgetthelookofmiseryinhisface。
\"Mostlikelyagreatexaggerationofthatspitefuloldfogey’s,\"I
said。\"Neverbelieveanythingthatyouhear,isasoundaxiom。Hadyounotbettertrytogetonboard?\"
\"Yes;andforheaven’ssakecomewithme,Wharncliffe!\"hesaid。
\"Itcan’tbetrue!Itis,asyousay,thatman’sspite,orelsethereissomeoneelseofthenameonboard。Thatmustbeit——
someoneelseofthename。\"
Idon’tknowwhetherhemanagedtodeceivehimself。Wemadeourwayonboard,andhespoketooneofthestewards,whoconductedustothesaloon。Iknewfromtheexpressionoftheman’sfacethatthewordswehadoverheardwerebuttootrue;itwasamereglancethathegaveus,yetifhehadsaidaloud,\"Theybelongtothatolddrunkard!ThankheavenI’mnotintheirshoes!\"Icouldnothavebetterunderstoodwhatwasinhismind。
Therewerethreepersonsonlyinthegreatsaloon:anofficer’sservant,whoseappearancedidnotpleaseme;afinelookingoldmanwithgreyhairandwhiskers,andarough—hewnhonestface,apparentlytheship’sdoctor;andatallgrizzledmaninwhomIatoncesawasortofhorriblelikenesstoDerrick——horriblebecausethisfacewaswickedanddegraded,andbecauseitsownerwasdrunk——
noisilydrunk。Derrickpausedforaminute,lookingathisfather;
then,deadlypale,heturnedtotheolddoctor。\"IamMajorVaughan’sson,\"hesaid。
Thedoctorgraspedhishand,andtherewassomethingintheoldman’skindly,chivalrousmannerwhichbroughtasortoflightintothegloom。
\"Iamverygladtoseeyou!\"heexclaimed。\"IstheMajor’sluggageready?\"heinquiredturningtotheservant。Then,asthemanrepliedintheaffirmative,\"Howwoulditbe,Mr。Vaughan,ifyourfather’smanjustsawthethingsintoacab?andthenI’llcomeonshorewithyouandseemypatientsafelysettledin。\"
Derrickacquiesced,andthedoctorturnedtotheMajor,whowasleaningupagainstoneofthepillarsofthesaloonandshoutingout\"’TwasinTrafalgarBay,\"inawaywhich,underothercircumstances,wouldhavebeenhighlycomic。Thedoctorinterruptedhim,aswithmuchfeelinghesanghow:
\"EnglanddeclaredthateverymanThatdayhaddonehisduty。\"
\"Look,Major,\"hesaid;\"hereisyoursoncometomeetyou。\"
\"Gladtoseeyou,myboy,\"saidtheMajor,reelingforwardandrunningallhiswordstogether。\"How’syourmother?IsthisLawrence?Gladtoseebothofyou!Why,you’r’slike’stwopeas!
NotLawrence,doyousay?Confoundit,doctor,howtheshiprollsto—day!\"
Andtheoldwretchstaggeredandwouldhavefallen,hadnotDerricksupportedhimandlandedhimsafelyononeofthefixedottomans。
\"Yes,yes,you’rethesonforme,\"hewenton,withablandsmile,whichmadehisfaceallthemorehideous。\"You’renotsoroughandclumsyasthatconfoundedJohnThomas,whosehandsarelikebrickbats。I’mamerewreck,asyousee;it’stheaccursedclimate!
Butyourmotherwillsoonnursemeintohealthagain;shewasalwaysagoodnurse,poorsoul!itwasherbestpoint。Whatwithyouandyourmother,Ishallsoonbemyselfagain。\"
Herethedoctorinterposed,andDerrickmadedesperatelyforaportholeandgulpeddownmouthfulsoffreshair:buthewasnotallowedmuchofarespite,fortheservantreturnedtosaythathehadprocuredacab,andtheMajorcalledloudlyforhisson’sarm。
\"I’llnothaveyou,\"hesaid,pushingtheservantviolentlyaway。
\"Come,Derrick,helpme!youareworthtwoofthatblockhead。\"
AndDerrickcamequicklyforward,hisfacestillverypale,butwithadignityaboutitwhichIhadneverbeforeseen;and,givinghisarmtohisdrunkenfather,hepilotedhimacrossthesaloon,throughthestaringranksofstewards,officials,andtardypassengersoutside,downthegangway,andoverthecrowdedquaytothecab。I
knewthateachderisiveglanceofthespectatorswastohimlikeasword—thrust,andlongedtothrottletheMajor,whoseemedtoenjoyhimselfamazinglyonterrafirma,andsangatthetopofhisvoiceaswedrovethroughthestreetsofSouthampton。Theolddoctorkeptupacheeryflowofsmall—talkwithme,thinking,nodoubt,thatthiswouldbeakindnesstoDerrick:andatlastthatpurgatorialdriveended,andsomehowDerrickandthedoctorbetweenthemgottheMajorsafelyintohisroomatRadley’sHotel。
Wehadorderedlunchinaprivatesitting—room,thinkingthattheMajorwouldpreferittothecoffee—room;but,asitturnedout,hewasinnostatetoappear。Theylefthimasleep,andtheship’sdoctorsatintheseatthathadbeenpreparedforhispatient,andmadethemealastolerabletousbothasitcouldbe。Hewasanodd,old—fashionedfellow,butastrueagentlemanaseverbreathed。
\"Now,\"hesaid,whenlunchwasover,\"youandImusthaveatalktogether,Mr。Vaughan,andIwillhelpyoutounderstandyourfather’scase。\"
Imadeamovementtogo,butsatdownagainatDerrick’srequest。I
think,pooroldfellow,hedreadedbeingalone,andknowingthatI
hadseenhisfatherattheworst,thoughtImightaswellhearallparticulars。
\"MajorVaughan,\"continuedthedoctor,\"hasnowbeenundermycareforsomeweeks,andIhadsomecommunicationwiththeregimentalsurgeonabouthiscasebeforehesailed。Heissufferingfromanenlargedliver,andthediseasehasbeenbroughtonbyhisunfortunatehabitofover—indulgenceinstimulants。\"Icouldalmosthavesmiled,soverygentlyandconsideratelydidthegoodoldmanveilinlongwordstheshamefulfact。\"Itisahabitsadlyprevalentamongourfellow—countrymeninIndia;theclimateaggravatesthemischief,andverymanylivesareinthiswayruined。
Thenyourfatherwasalsounfortunateenoughtocontractrheumatismwhenhewascampingoutinthejunglelastyear,andthisisincreasingonhimverymuch,sothathislifeisalmostintolerabletohim,andhenaturallyfliesforrelieftohisgreatestenemy,drink。Atallcosts,however,youmustkeephimfromstimulants;
theywillonlyintensifythediseaseandthesufferings,infacttheyarepoisontoamaninsuchastate。Don’tthinkIamabigotinthesematters;butIsaythatforamaninsuchaconditionasthis,thereisnothingforitbuttotalabstinence,andatallcostsyourfathermustbeguardedfromthepossibilityofprocuringanysortofintoxicatingdrink。ThroughoutthevoyageIhavedonemybesttoshieldhim,butitwasadifficultmatter。Hisservant,too,isnottrustworthy,andshouldbedismissedifpossible。\"
\"Hadhespokenatallofhisplans?\"askedDerrick,andhisvoicesoundedstrangelyunlikeitself。
\"HeaskedmewhatplaceinEnglandhehadbettersettledownin,\"
saidthedoctor,\"andIstronglyrecommendedhimtotryBath。Thisseemedtopleasehim,andifheiswellenoughhehadbettergothereto—morrow。Hementionedyourmotherthismorning;nodoubtshewillknowhowtomanagehim。\"
\"Mymotherdiedsixmonthsago,\"saidDerrick,pushingbackhischairandbeginningtopacetheroom。Thedoctormadekindlyapologies。
\"Perhapsyouhaveasister,whocouldgotohim?\"
\"No,\"repliedDerrick。\"Myonlysisterismarried,andherhusbandwouldneverallowit。\"
\"Oracousinoranaunt?\"suggestedtheoldman,naivelyunconsciousthatthewordssoundedlikeaquotation。
IsawtheghostofasmileflitoverDerrick’sharassedfaceasheshookhishead。
\"IsuggestedthatheshouldgointosomeHomefor——casesofthekind,\"resumedthedoctor,\"orplacehimselfunderthechargeofsomemedicalman;however,hewon’thearofsuchathing。Butifheislefttohimself——well,itisallupwithhim。Hewilldrinkhimselftodeathinafewmonths。\"
\"Heshallnotbeleftalone,\"saidDerrick;\"Iwilllivewithhim。
DoyouthinkIshoulddo?ItseemstobeHobson’schoice。\"
Ilookedupinamazement——forherewasDerrickcalmlygivinghimselfuptoalifethatmustcrusheveryplanforthefuturehehadmade。
Didmenmakesuchachoiceasthatwhiletheytooktwoorthreeturnsinaroom?Didtheyspeaksocomposedlyafterastrugglethatmusthavebeensobitter?Thinkingitovernow,Ifeelsureitwashisextraordinarygiftofinsightandhisclearjudgmentwhichmadehimbehaveinthisway。Heinstantlyperceivedandpromptlyacted;
theworstofthesufferingcamelongafter。
\"Why,ofcourseyouaretheverybestpersonintheworldforhim,\"
saidthedoctor。\"Hehastakenafancytoyou,andevidentlyyouhaveacertaininfluencewithhim。Ifanyonecansavehimitwillbeyou。\"
ButthethoughtofallowingDerricktobesacrificedtothatoldbruteofaMajorwasmorethanIcouldbearcalmly。
\"Amoremadschemewasneverproposed,\"Icried。\"Why,doctor,itwillbeutterruintomyfriend’scareer;hewillloseyearsthatnoonecanevermakeup。Andbesides,heisunfitforsuchastrain,hewillneverstandit。\"
MyheartfelthotasIthoughtofDerrick,withhishighly—strung,sensitivenature,hisrefinement,hisgentleness,inconstantcompanionshipwithsuchamanasMajorVaughan。
\"Mydearsir,\"saidtheolddoctor,withagleaminhiseye,\"I
understandyourfeelingwellenough。Butdependuponit,yourfriendhasmadetherightchoice,andthereisnodoubtthathe’llbestrongenoughtodohisduty。\"
ThewordremindedmeoftheMajor’ssong,andmyvoicewasabominablysarcasticintoneasIsaidtoDerrick,\"Younolongerconsiderwritingyourdutythen?\"
\"Yes,\"hesaid,\"butitmuststandsecondtothis。Don’tbevexed,Sydney;ourplansareknockedonthehead,butitisnotsobadasyoumakeout。Ihaveatanyrateenoughtoliveon,andcanaffordtowait。\"
Therewasnomoretobesaid,andthenextdayIsawthatstrangetriosetoutontheirroadtoBath。TheMajorlookingmorewickedwhensoberthanhehaddonewhendrunk;theolddoctorkindlyandconsiderateasever;andDerrick,withanairofresolutionaboutthatEnglishfaceofhisandadauntlessexpressioninhiseyeswhichimpressedmecuriously。
Thesequiet,reservedfellowsarealwaysgivingoneoddsurprises。
Hehadastonishedmebythevigouranddepthofthefirstvolumeof’Lynwood’sHeritage。’Heastonishedmenowbyanewphaseinhisowncharacter。ApparentlyhewhohadalwaysbeencontenttofollowwhereIled,andtowatchliferatherthantotakeanactiveshareinit,nowintendedtostrikeoutaverydecidedlineofhisown。
ChapterIV。
\"BothGoetheandSchillerwereprofoundlyconvincedthatArtwasnoluxuryofleisure,nomereamusementtocharmtheidle,orrelaxthecareworn;butamightyinfluence,seriousinitsaimsalthoughpleasureableinitsmeans;asisterofReligion,bywhoseaidthegreatworld—schemewaswroughtintoreality。\"
Lewes’sLifeofGoethe。
Manisaselfishbeing,andIamaparticularlyfinespecimenoftheraceasfarasthatcharacteristicgoes。IfIhadhadadozendrunkenparentsIshouldneverhavedancedattendanceononeofthem;yetinmysecretsoulIadmiredDerrickforthelinehehadtaken,forwemostlydoadmirewhatisunlikeourselvesandreallynoble,thoughitisthefashiontoseemtotallyindifferenttoeverythinginheavenandearth。ButallthesameIfeltannoyedaboutthewholebusiness,andwasgladtoforgetitinmyownaffairsatMondisfield。
Weekspassedby。Ilivedthroughamidsummerdreamofhappiness,andahardawaking。That,however,hasnothingtodowithDerrick’sstory,andmaybepassedover。InOctoberIsettleddowninMontagueStreet,Bloomsbury,andbegantoreadfortheBar,inaboutasdisagreeableaframeofmindascanbeconceived。OnemorningI
foundonmybreakfasttablealetterinDerrick’shandwriting。Likemostmen,wehardlyevercorresponded——whatwomensayintheeternalletterstheysendtoeachotherIcan’tconceive——butitstruckmethatunderthecircumstancesIoughttohavesenthimalinetoaskhowhewasgettingon,andmyconscienceprickedmeasIrememberedthatIhadhardlythoughtofhimsinceweparted,beingabsorbedinmyownmatters。Theletterwasnotverylong,butwhenonereadbetweenthelinesitsomehowtoldagooddeal。Ihaveitlyingbyme,andthisisacopyofit:
\"DearSydney,——DolikeagoodfellowgotoNorthAudleyStreetforme,tothehousewhichIdescribedtoyouastheonewhereLynwoodlodged,andtellmewhathewouldseebesidesthechurchfromhiswindow——ifshops,whatkind?AlsoifanyglimpseofOxfordStreetwouldbevisible。Thenifyou’lladdtoyourfavoursbygettingmeasecond—handcopyofLaveleye’s’SocialismeContemporain,’Ishouldbeforevergrateful。Wearesettledinhereallright。Bathisempty,butIpeopleitasfarasIcanwiththefolkoutof’Evelina’and’Persuasion。’HowdidyougetonatBlachington?andwhichoftheMissesMerrifieldwentintheend?Don’tbotheraboutthecommissions。Anytimewilldo。
\"Everyours,\"DerrickVaughan。\"
Pooroldfellow!allthespiritseemedknockedoutofhim。TherewasnotonewordabouttheMajor,andwhocouldsaywhatwretchednesswasveiledinthatcurtphrase,\"wearesettledinallright\"?Allright!itwasallaswrongasitcouldbe!MybloodbegantoboilatthethoughtofDerrick,withhisgreatpowers——hiswonderfulgift——coopedupinaplacewherethestudyoflifewassolimitedandsodull。ThentherewashishungerfornewsofFreda,andhissilenceastowhathadkepthimawayfromBlachington,andaboutallasortofproudhumilitywhichpreventedhimfromsayingmuchthatIshouldhaveexpectedhimtosayunderthecircumstances。
ItwasSaturday,andmytimewasmyown。Iwentout,gothisbookforhim;interviewedNorthAudleyStreet;spentabadfiveminutesincompanywiththatvillain’Bradshaw,’whoisresponsibleforsomuchofthebrainandeyediseaseofthenineteenthcentury,andfinallyleftPaddingtonintheFlyingDutchman,whichlandedmeatBathearlyintheafternoon。Ileftmyportmanteauatthestation,andwalkedthroughthecitytillIreachedGayStreet。LikemostofthestreetsofBath,itwasbroad,andhadoneitherhanddull,well—built,darkgrey,eminentlyrespectable,unutterablydreary—
lookinghouses。Irang,andthedoorwasopenedtomebyamostquaintoldwoman,evidentlythelandlady。Anodourofcurrypervadedthepassage,andbecamemoreoppressiveasthedoorofthesitting—roomwasopened,andIwasusheredinupontheMajorandhisson,whohadjustfinishedlunch。
\"Hullo!\"criedDerrick,springingup,hisfacefullofdelightwhichtouchedme,whileatthesametimeitfilledmewithenvy。
EventheMajorthoughtfittogivemeaheartywelcome。
\"Gladtoseeyouagain,\"hesaidpleasantlyenough。\"It’sarelieftohaveafreshfacetolookat。Wehavearoomwhichisquiteatyourdisposal,andIhopeyou’llstaywithus。Broughtyourportmanteau,eh?\"
\"Itisatthestation,\"Ireplied。
\"Seethatitissentfor,\"hesaidtoDerrick;\"andshowMr。
Wharncliffeallthatistobeseeninthiscursedholeofaplace。\"
Then,turningagaintome,\"Haveyoulunched?Verywell,then,don’twastethisfineafternooninaninvalid’sroom,butbeoffandenjoyyourself。\"
Socordialwastheoldman,thatIshouldhavethoughthimalreadyareformedcharacter,hadInotfoundthathekepttheroughsideofhistongueforhomeuse。Derrickplacedanovelandasmallhandbellwithinhisreach,andwewerejustgoing,whenwewerecheckedbyavolleyofoathsfromtheMajor;thenabookcameflyingacrosstheroom,wellaimedatDerrick’shead。Hesteppedaside,andletitfallwithacrashonthesideboard。
\"WhatdoyoumeanbygivingmethesecondvolumewhenyouknowIaminthethird?\"fumedtheinvalid。
Heapologisedquietly,fetchedthethirdvolume,straightenedthedisorderedleavesofthediscardedsecond,andwiththeairofonewellaccustomedtosuchlittledomesticscenes,tookuphishatandcameoutwithme。
\"HowlongdoyouintendtogoonplayingDavidtotheMajor’sSaul?\"
Iasked,marvellingatthewayinwhichheenduredthehumoursofhisfather。
\"AslongasIhavethechance,\"hereplied。\"Isay,areyousureyouwon’tmindstayingwithus?Itcan’tbeaverycomfortablehouseholdforanoutsider。\"
\"Muchbetterthanforaninsider,toallappearance,\"Ireplied。
\"I’monlytoodelightedtostay。Andnow,oldfellow,tellmethehonesttruth——youdidn’t,youknow,inyourletter——howhaveyoubeengettingon?\"
Derricklaunchedintoanaccountofhisfather’sailments。
\"Oh,hangtheMajor!Idon’tcareabouthim,Iwanttoknowaboutyou,\"Icried。
\"Aboutme?\"saidDerrickdoubtfully。\"Oh,I’mrightenough。\"
\"Whatdoyoudowithyourself?Howonearthdoyoukilltime?\"I
asked。\"Come,givemeafull,true,andparticularaccountofitall。\"
\"Wehavetriedthreeotherservants,\"saidDerrick;\"buttheplandoesn’tanswer。Theyeitherwon’tstandit,orelsetheyarebribedintosmugglingbrandyintothehouse。IfindIcandomostthingsformyfather,andinthemorninghehasanattendantfromthehospitalwhoistrustworthy,andwhodoeswhatisnecessaryforhim。
Attenwebreakfasttogether,thentherearethemorningpapers,whichhelikestohavereadtohim。AfterthatIgoroundtothePumpRoomwithhim——oddcontrastnowtowhatitmusthavebeenwhenBathwastherage。Thenwehavelunch。Intheafternoon,ifheiswellenough,wedrive;ifnothesleeps,andIgetawalk。LateronanoldIndianfriendofhiswillsometimesdropin;ifnothelikestobereadtountildinner。Afterdinnerweplaychess——heisafirst—rateplayer。AttenIhelphimtobed;fromeleventotwelveIsmokeandstudySocialismandalltherestofitthatLynwoodisatpresentflounderingin。\"
\"Whydon’tyouwrite,then?\"
\"Itriedit,butitdidn’tanswer。Icouldn’tsleepafterit,andwas,infact,tootired;seemsabsurdtobetiredaftersuchadayasthat,butsomehowittakesitoutofonemorethanthehardestreading;Idon’tknowwhy。\"
\"Why,\"Isaidangrily,\"it’sbecauseitisworktowhichyouarequiteunsuited——workforathick—skinned,hard—hearted,uncultivatedandwell—paidattendant,notforthenovelistwhoistobethechieflightofourgeneration。\"
Helaughedatthisestimateofhispowers。
\"Novelists,likeothercattle,havetoobeytheirowner,\"hesaidlightly。
IthoughtforamomentthathemeanttheMajor,andwasbreakingintoanangryremonstrance,whenIsawthathemeantsomethingquitedifferent。Itwasalwayshisstrongestpoint,thisextraordinaryconsciousnessofright,thisunwaveringbeliefthathehadtodoandthereforecoulddocertainthings。Withoutthis,Iknowthatheneverwrotealine,andinmyheartIbelievethiswasthecauseofhissuccess。
\"Thenyouarenotwritingatall?\"Iasked。
\"Yes,Iwritegenerallyforacoupleofhoursbeforebreakfast,\"hesaid。
Andthateveningwesatbyhisgasstoveandhereadmethenextfourchaptersof’Lynwood。’Hehadratheradismallodging—housebedroom,withfadedwall—paperandaprosaicsnuff—colouredcarpet。
Onaricketytableinthewindowwashisdesk,andaportfoliofullofbluefoolscap,buthehaddonewhathecouldtomaketheplacehabitable;hisOxfordpictureswereonthewalls——Hoffman’s’ChristspeakingtotheWomantakeninAdultery,’hangingoverthemantelpiece——ithadalwaysbeenafavouriteofhis。Irememberthat,ashereadthedescriptionofLynwoodandhiswife,IkeptlookingfromhimtotheChristinthepicturetillIcouldalmosthavefanciedthateachfaceborethesameexpression。HadthisstrangemonotonouslifewiththatoldbruteofaMajorbroughthimsomenewperceptionofthosewords,\"NeitherdoIcondemnthee\"?
Butwhenhestoppedreading,I,truetomycharacter,forgothisaffairsinmyown,aswesattalkingfarintothenight——talkingofthatlucklessmonthatMondisfield,ofalltheproblemsithadopenedup,andofmywretchedness。
\"YouwereintownallSeptember?\"heasked;\"yougaveupBlachington?\"
\"Yes,\"Ireplied。\"WhatdidIcareforcountryhousesinsuchamoodasthat。\"
Heacquiesced,andIwentontalkingofmygrievances,anditwasnottillIwasinthetrainonmywaybacktoLondonthatI
rememberedhowalookofdisappointmenthadpassedoverhisfacejustatthemoment。EvidentlyhehadcountedonlearningsomethingaboutFredafromme,andI——well,Ihadcleanforgottenbothherexistenceandhispassionatelove。
Something,probablyself—interest,thedesireformyfriend’scompany,andsoforth,tookmedowntoBathprettyfrequentlyinthosedays;luckilytheMajorhadasortoflikingforme,andwasalwayspoliteenough;anddearoldDerrick——well,Ibelievemyvisitsreallyhelpedtobrightenhimup。Atanyratehesaidhecouldn’thavebornehislifewithoutthem,andforasceptical,dismal,cynicalfellowlikemetohearthatwassomehowflattering。
Themereforceofcontrastdidmegood。IusedtocomebackontheMondaywonderingthatDerrickdidn’tcuthisthroat,andrealisingthat,afterall,itwassomethingtobeafreeagent,andtohavecomfortableroomsinMontagueStreet,withnooldbearofadrunkardtodisturbmypeace。Andthenasortofadmirationsprangupinmyheart,andthecynicismbredofmelancholybroodingsoversolitarypipeswaslessrampantthanusual。
Itwas,Ithink,earlyinthenewyearthatImetLawrenceVaughaninBath。HewasnotstayingatGayStreet,soIcouldstillhavethevacantroomnexttoDerrick’s。LawrenceputupattheYorkHouseHotel。
\"Foryouknow,\"heinformedme,\"Ireallycan’tstandthegovernorformorethananhourortwoatatime。\"
\"Derrickmanagestodoit,\"Isaid。
\"Oh,Derrick,yes,\"hereplied,\"it’shismetier,andheiswellaccustomedtothelife。Besides,youknow,heissuchadreamy,quietsortoffellow;helivesallthetimeinaworldofhisowncreation,andbearsthediscomfortsofthisworldwithgreatphilosophy。Actuallyhehasturnedteetotaller!Itwouldkillmeinaweek。\"
Imakeapointofneverarguingwithafellowlikethat,butIthinkIhadavindictivelonging,asIlookedathim,toshuthimupwiththeMajorforamonth,andseewhatwouldhappen。
Thesetwinbrotherswerecuriouslyalikeinfaceandcuriouslyunlikeinnature。Somuchforthegreatscienceofphysiognomy!Itoftenseemedtomethattheywerethecomplementofeachother。Forinstance,Derrickinsocietywasextremelysilent,Lawrencewasarattlingtalker;Derrick,whenalonewithyou,wouldnowandthenrevealunsuspecteddepthsofthoughtandexpression;Lawrence,whenalonewithyou,veryfrequentlyshowedhimselftobeacad。Theeldertwinwasmodestanddiffident,theyoungerinclinedtobrag;
theonehadastrongtendencytomelancholy,theotherwasblestorcursedwiththesortoftemperamentwhichhasbeensaidtoaccompany\"ahardheartandagooddigestion。\"
Iwasnotsurprisedtofindthatthesonwhocouldnottoleratethegovernor’spresenceformorethananhourortwo,wasaprimefavouritewiththeoldman;thatwasjustthewayoftheworld。Ofcourse,theMajorwasaspoliteaspossibletohim;DerrickgotthekicksandLawrencethehalf—pence。
Intheeveningsweplayedwhist,Lawrencecominginafterdinner,\"For,youknow,\"heexplainedtome,\"Ireallycouldn’tgetthroughamealwithnothingbutthoseinfernalmineralwaterstowashitdown。\"
AndhereImustownthatatmyfirstvisitIhadsailedratherclosetothewind;forwhentheMajor,liketheHatterin’Alice,’pressedmetotakewine,I——notseeingany——hadansweredthatIdidnottakeit;mentallyaddingthewords,\"inyourhouse,youbrute!\"
Thetwobrotherswerefondofeachotherafterafashion。ButDerrickwashuman,andhadhisfaultsliketherestofus;andIamprettysurehedidnotmuchenjoythesightofhisfather’sfoolishandunreasonabledevotiontoLawrence。Ifyoucometothinkofit,hewouldhavebeenafull—fledgedangelifnojealouspang,noreflectionthatitwasratherroughonhim,hadcrossedhismind,whenhesawhisyoungerbrothertreatedwitheverymarkofrespectandliking,andknewthatLawrencewouldneverstirafingerreallytohelpthepoorfractiousinvalid。Unluckilytheyhappenedonenighttogetonthesubjectofprofessions。