twomenextravagantlymadeupasnegrominstrels，withimmenseshoesandplaidvests。Theyseemedtobeabletowrestleatuneoutofalmostanything——glassbottles，cigar-
boxfiddles，stringsofsleigh-bells，evengraduatedbrasstubes，whichtheyrubbedwithresinedfingers。McTeaguewasstupefiedwithadmiration。
“That’swhatyoucallmusicians，“heannouncedgravely。
“Home，SweetHome，“playeduponatrombone。Thinkofthat！
Artcouldgonofarther。
Theacrobatslefthimbreathless。Theyweredazzlingyoungmenwithbeautifullypartedhair，continuallymakinggracefulgesturestotheaudience。Inoneofthemthedentistfanciedhesawastrongresemblancetotheboywhohadtormentedtheintoxicatedlodgerandwhohadturnedsuchmarvelloussomersaults。Trinacouldnotbeartowatchtheirantics。Sheturnedawayherheadwithalittleshudder。
“Italwaysmakesmesick，“sheexplained。
Thebeautifulyounglady，“TheSocietyContralto，“ineveningdress，whosangthesentimentalsongs，andcarriedthesheetsofmusicatwhichsheneverlooked，pleasedMcTeagueless。Trina，however，wascaptivated。Shegrewpensiveover“Youdonotloveme——no；
Bidmegood-byandgo；“
andsplithernewglovesinherenthusiasmwhenitwasfinished。
“Don’tyoulovesadmusic，Mac？“shemurmured。
Thencamethetwocomedians。Theytalkedwithfearfulrapidity；theirwitandreparteeseemedinexhaustible。
“AsIwasgoingdownthestreetyesterday——“
“Ah！asYOUweregoingdownthestreet——allright。“
“Isawagirlatawindow——“
“YOUsawagirlatawindow。“
“Andthisgirlshewasacorker——“
“Ah！asYOUweregoingdownthestreetyesterdayYOU
sawagirlatawindow，andthisgirlshewasacorker。Allright，goon。“
Theothercomedianwenton。Thejokewassuddenlyevolved。
Acertainphraseledtoasong，whichwassungwithlightningrapidity，eachperformermakingpreciselythesamegesturesatpreciselythesameinstant。Theywereirresistible。McTeague，thoughhecaughtbutathirdofthejokes，couldhavelistenedallnight。
Afterthecomedianshadgoneout，theironadvertisementcurtainwasletdown。
“Whatcomesnow？“saidMcTeague，bewildered。
“It’stheintermissionoffifteenminutesnow。“
Themusiciansdisappearedthroughtherabbithutch，andtheaudiencestirredandstretcheditself。Mostoftheyoungmenlefttheirseats。
DuringthisintermissionMcTeagueandhispartyhad“refreshments。“Mrs。SieppeandTrinahadQueenCharlottes，McTeaguedrankaglassofbeer，Owgoosteatetheorangeandoneofthebananas。Hebeggedforaglassoflemonade，whichwasfinallygivenhim。
“Joosttogeepumquiet，“observedMrs。Sieppe。
ButalmostimmediatelyafterdrinkinghislemonadeOwgoostewasseizedwithasuddenrestlessness。Hetwistedandwriggledinhisseat，swinginghislegsviolently，lookingabouthimwitheyesfullofavaguedistress。Atlength，justasthemusicianswerereturning，hestoodupandwhisperedenergeticallyinhismother’sear。Mrs。Sieppewasexasperatedatonce。
“No，no，“shecried，reseatinghimbrusquely。
Theperformancewasresumed。Alightningartistappeared，drawingcaricaturesandportraitswithincredibleswiftness。
Heevenwentsofarastoaskforsubjectsfromtheaudience，andthenamesofprominentmenwereshoutedtohimfromthegallery。HedrewportraitsofthePresident，ofGrant，ofWashington，ofNapoleonBonaparte，ofBismarck，ofGaribaldi，ofP。T。Barnum。
Andsotheeveningpassed。Thehallgrewveryhot，andthesmokeofinnumerablecigarsmadetheeyessmart。Athickbluemisthunglowovertheheadsoftheaudience。Theairwasfullofvariedsmells——thesmellofstalecigars，offlatbeer，oforangepeel，ofgas，ofsachetpowders，andofcheapperfumery。
One“artist“afteranothercameuponthestage。McTeague’sattentionneverwanderedforaminute。Trinaandhermotherenjoyedthemselveshugely。Ateverymomenttheymadecommentstooneanother，theireyesneverleavingthestage。
“Ain’tdotfooljoosttoofunny？“
“That’saprettysong。Don’tyoulikethatkindofasong？“
“Wonderful！It’swonderful！Yes，yes，wonderful！That’stheword。“
Owgooste，however，lostinterest。Hestoodupinhisplace，hisbacktothestage，chewingapieceoforangepeelandwatchingalittlegirlinherfather’slapacrosstheaisle，hiseyesfixedinaglassy，ox-likestare。Buthewasuneasy。Hedancedfromonefoottotheother，andatintervalsappealedinhoarsewhisperstohismother，whodisdainedananswer。
“Ma，say，ma-ah，“hewhined，abstractedlychewinghisorangepeel，staringatthelittlegirl。
“Ma-ah，say，ma。“Attimeshismonotonousplaintreachedhismother’sconsciousness。Shesuddenlyrealizedwhatthiswasthatwasannoyingher。
“Owgooste，willyousitdown？“Shecaughthimupallatonce，andjammedhimdownintohisplace。“Bequiet，den；
loog；listunatderyungegirls。“
Threeyoungwomenandayoungmanwhoplayedazitheroccupiedthestage。TheyweredressedinTyrolesecostume；
theywereyodlers，andsanginGermanabout“mountaintops“
and“boldhunters“andthelike。Theyodlingchoruswasamarvelofflute-likemodulations。Thegirlswerereallypretty，andwerenotmadeupintheleast。Their“turn“hadagreatsuccess。Mrs。Sieppewasentranced。InstantlysherememberedhergirlhoodandhernativeSwissvillage。
“Ach，dotisheavunly；joostlikederoldcountry。Meingran’mutterusedtobeoneofdermos’famousyodlers。WhenIwasleedle，Ihafseendemjoostlikedat。“
“Ma-ah，“beganOwgoostefretfully，assoonastheyodlershaddeparted。Hecouldnotkeepstillaninstant；hetwistedfromsidetoside，swinginghislegswithincredibleswiftness。
“Ma-ah，Iwanttogoho-ome。“
“Pehave！“exclaimedhismother，shakinghimbythearm；
“loog，derleedlegirliswatchunyou。DisisderlastdimeItakeyoutoderblay，yousee。“
“Idon’tca-are；I’msleepy。“Atlength，totheirgreatrelief，hewenttosleep，hisheadagainsthismother’sarm。
Thekinetoscopefairlytooktheirbreathsaway。
“Whatwilltheydonext？“observedTrina，inamazement。
“Ain’tthatwonderful，Mac？“
McTeaguewasawe-struck。
“Lookatthathorsemovehishead，“hecriedexcitedly，quitecarriedaway。“Lookatthatcablecarcoming——andthemangoingacrossthestreet。See，herecomesatruck。
Well，Ineverinallmylife！WhatwouldMarcussaytothis？“
“It’salladrick！“exclaimedMrs。Sieppe，withsuddenconviction。“Iain’tnofool；dot’snothunbutadrick。“
“Well，ofcourse，mamma，“exclaimedTrina，“it’s——“
ButMrs。Sieppeputherheadintheair。
“I’mtoooldtobefooled，“shepersisted。“It’sadrick。“
Nothingmorecouldbegotoutofherthanthis。
Thepartystayedtotheveryendoftheshow，thoughthekinetoscopewasthelastnumberbutoneontheprogramme，andfullyhalftheaudienceleftimmediatelyafterward。
However，whiletheunfortunateIrishcomedianwentthroughhis“act“tothebacksofthedepartingpeople，Mrs。SieppewokeOwgooste，verycrossandsleepy，andbegangettingher“thingstogether。“AssoonashewasawakeOwgoostebeganfidgetingagain。
“Savederbrogramme，Trina，“whisperedMrs。Sieppe。“Takeuthometopopper。WhereisderhatofOwgooste？Hafyougotmeinhandkerchief，Trina？“
ButatthismomentadreadfulaccidenthappenedtoOwgooste；
hisdistressreacheditsclimax；hisfortitudecollapsed。
Whatamisery！Itwasaveritablecatastrophe，deplorable，lamentable，athingbeyondwords！Foramomenthegazedwildlyabouthim，helplessandpetrifiedwithastonishmentandterror。Thenhisgrieffoundutterance，andtheclosingstrainsoftheorchestraweremingledwithaprolongedwailofinfinitesadness。
“Owgooste，whatisut？“criedhismothereyeinghimwithdawningsuspicion；thensuddenly，“Whathafyoudone？YouhafruinyournewVauntleroygostume！“Herfaceblazed；
withoutmoreadoshesmackedhimsoundly。ThenitwasthatOwgoostetouchedthelimitofhismisery，hisunhappiness，hishorriblediscomfort；hisutterwretchednesswascomplete。Hefilledtheairwithhisdolefuloutcries。Themorehewassmackedandshaken，thelouderhewept。
“What——whatisthematter？“inquiredMcTeague。
Trina’sfacewasscarlet。“Nothing，nothing，“sheexclaimedhastily，lookingaway。“Come，wemustbegoing。It’saboutover。“Theendoftheshowandthebreakingupoftheaudiencetidedovertheembarrassmentofthemoment。
Thepartyfiledoutatthetailendoftheaudience。
Alreadythelightswerebeingextinguishedandtheushersspreadingdruggetingovertheupholsteredseats。
McTeagueandtheSieppestookanuptowncarthatwouldbringthemnearPolkStreet。Thecarwascrowded；McTeagueandOwgoostewereobligedtostand。Thelittleboyfrettedtobetakeninhismother’slap，butMrs。Sieppeemphaticallyrefused。
Ontheirwayhometheydiscussedtheperformance。
“I——Ilikebestderyodlers。“