第42章
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  “Iamgoingoutbyandby。IamgoingtodineandspendtheeveningwithBarbaraHowe。ButIamnotgoingyet。Won’tyousitdown?“

  “Iwillifyou’resureyoucansparethetime。Ihopeyoucan,because——well,becauseIdowanttotalktoyou。I’vehadbadnewsfromhome。Myfatherisill——andinthedoctor’scare。“

  “Oh,I’msosorry。Ihopeitisn’tserious。“

  “Idon’tknowwhetheritisornot。Itcan’tbedesperatelyserious,becausehewrotetheletterhimself。Butatanyrateit’sseriousenoughforme。HewantsmetogiveupmyworkhereattheHarvardMedicalandcomeWest。“

  Marygasped。“Giveitup!“sherepeated。“Giveupyourstudies?

  Giveupmedicine?Surelyhedoesn’twantyoutodothat!“

  Crawfordshookhishead。“No,notquitethat,“hereplied。“I

  wouldn’tdothat,evenforhim。Buthewritesthatheisnotwellandisnotlikelytobebetterforagoodwhile,ifever,andhewouldbeverymuchhappierifIwerenearerathand。HewantsmetogiveuphereattheHarvardMed。andtakeupmyworkagainatDenverorSaltLakeCityorsomewhereoutthere。EvenChicagowouldseemmuchnearer,hesays。It’sapitifulsortofletter。Theoldchapseemsdreadfullydowninthedumps。Hewantsme,that’splainenough,andheseemstothinkheneedsme。SaysifIwereatDenverIcouldcomehomeeverylittlewhile,whereashereIcan’t。WhatoughtItodo?Ihatetosayno,andIhatejustasmuchtosayyes。“

  Maryconsidered。

  “Ithinkyoumustdecideforyourself,“shesaidafteramoment。

  “Youhaveyourcareertoconsider,ofcourse。“

  “Yes,Ihave。But,tobeperfectlyhonest,IsupposemycareerwouldnotbeinfluencedgreatlyifIwent。ThereareplentyofgoodmedicalcollegesintheWest。ItisonlythatIamaHarvardmanandIhopedtofinishattheHarvardschool,thatisall。ButI

  COULDgo。Whatdoyouadvise?“

  AgainMarytooktimeforconsideration。Herfacenowwasasgraveashis。Atlastshesaid,withoutraisinghereyes:“Ithinkyououghttogo。“

  Hegroaned。“Iwasafraidyouwouldsaythat,“headmitted。“AndI

  supposeyouareright。“

  “Yes,IthinkIam。Ifyourfatherneedsyouandwantsyou,andifyourcareerwillnotbeinfluencedforharm,I——well,Ithinkyoushoulddoashewishes。“

  “Andmyownwishesshouldn’tcount,Isuppose?“

  “Why,no,notinthiscase;notmuch,atanyrate。Doyouthinktheyshould?“

  “Perhapsnot。But——butyours?“

  “Mine?“

  “Yes。DoYOUwantmetogoaway?“Heleanedforwardinhischairandrepeatedearnestly:“Doyou,Mary?“

  Shelookedathimandhereyesfellbeforethelookinhis。Herheartbegantobeatquicklyandsheglancedapprehensivelytowardthepartlyopeneddoor。Heroseandclosedit。Thenhecameclosetoher。

  “Mary,“hesaid,earnestly,“doyouknowwhythisappealofDad’shashitmesoveryhard?Whyitisgoingtobesomightydifficulttosayyesandleavehere?Itisn’tbecauseIhatetogiveupHarvard。Idohatethat,ofcourse,butI’ddoitinaminuteforDad。Itisn’tthat。It’sbecauseIcan’t——Ijustcan’tthinkofleavingyou。Youhavecometobe——“

  Sheinterrupted。“Pleasedon’t,“shebegged。“Please!“

  Hewenton,unheeding:

  “Youhavecometomeanaboutallthereisinlifeforme,“hedeclared。“Itisn’tmoneyorsuccessorreputationI’vebeenworkingandpluggingfortheselastfewmonths;it’sjustyou。I

  didn’tthinksoonce——Iusedtothinksuchthingswerejustinbooks——butnowIknow。Iloveyou,Mary。“

  Againsheprotested。“Oh,Crawford,“shebegged,“please!“

  “No;you’vegottohearme。It’strue;Iloveyou,andifyoucancareforme,Iamgoingtomarryyou。Notnow,ofcourse;I’vegotmywaytomakefirst;butsomeday,ifIlive。“

  Histeethsetinthedeterminedfashionshehadlearnedtoknowmeantunswervingpurpose。Shelookedup,sawtheexpressionofhisface,andfortheinstantforgoteverythingexceptherprideinhimandherjoythatsheshouldhaveawakenedsuchfeelings。Thensherememberedotherthings,thingswhichshehadspentmanyhoursofmanynightsindebatingandconsidering。Ashebenttowardhersheevadedhimandrose。

  “Don’t,Crawford!Please!“shesaidagain。“Youmustn’tsaysuchthingstome。Itisn’trightthatyoushould。“

  Helookedpuzzled。“Whynot?“heasked。“Atanyrate,rightorwrong,Imustsaythem,Mary。I’vebeenholdingtheminformonthsandnowI’vejustgottosaythem。IloveyouandIwanttomarryyou。MayI?“

  “Oh,no,Crawford!No!Itisimpossible。“

  “Impossible!Why?Isit——isitbecauseyoudon’tcareforme?

  Don’tyou,Mary?“

  Shedidnotanswer。

  “Don’tyou?“herepeated。“Lookatme!Can’tyoucare,Mary?“

  Shewassilent。Butwhenhetookasteptowardhersheraisedherhandsinprotest。

  “Pleasedon’t!“shepleaded。“No,youmustn’t——wemustn’tthink——

  Oh,no,itisimpossible!“

  “Itisn’timpossible。IfyoulovemeasIdoyouitistheonlypossiblethingintheworld。Listen,dear——“

  “Hush!Imustn’tlisten。Besensible,Crawford!think!Wearebothsoyoung。Youareonlybeginningyourstudies。Itwillbeyearsbeforeyoucan——beforeyoushouldconsidermarrying。“

  “Butwecanwait。Iamwillingtowaitifyouwillonlypromisetowaitforme。I’llwork——HOWI’llwork!——and——“

  “Iknow,butwebothhaveothersbesidesourselvestoconsider。I

  havemyuncles。Theyhavedoneeverythingforme。Andyouhaveyourfather。Doesheknow——aboutme——aboutwhatyouhavejustsaidtome?“

  AndnowCrawfordhesitated。Notlong,butlongenoughforMarytoknowwhattheanswerwouldbebeforeitwasspoken。

  “Hedoesn’tknow,“shesaid。“Ithoughtnot。Doyouthinkhewillapprove?“

  “Ihopehewill。Thereiseveryreasonwhyheshouldandabsolutelynonewhyheshouldn’t。Ofcoursehe’llapprove;he’ssensible。“

  “Yes,buthemayhaveplansofhisownforyou,andyourmarryinganEasterngirlmaynotbeoneofthem。YouhaveoftentoldmehowprejudicedheisagainsttheEastandEasternpeople。Hemaydisapprovestrongly。“

  Crawfordsquaredhisshoulders。Therewasnohesitationordoubtinhisnextspeech。

  “Ifhedoesitwillmakenodifference,“hedeclared。“IcareawholelotforDadandI’ddoanythingonearthforhim——anythingbuttheonething,thatis:Iwon’tgiveyouup——providedyoucareforme——forhimorforanyoneelse。That’sfinal。“

  Hecertainlylookedasifitwere。ButMaryonlyshookherhead。

  Inthenewthoughtsandnewimaginingswhichhadcometoherduringthepastwintertherehadbeenavagueforeshadowingofapossiblesituationsomewhatlikethis。Shehadheranswerready。

  “Oh,no,itisn’t,“shesaid。“Youarehisson,hisonlychild,Crawford。Hecaressomuchforyou。Youhaveoftentoldmethat,and——andIknowhemust。Andyouandhehavebeensohappytogether。DoyouthinkIwouldbethecauseofbreakingthatrelationship?“

  Hewavedthequestionasideandaskedoneofhisown。

  “Doyouloveme,Mary?“heasked。

  “Youmustn’taskme,Crawford。Writeyourfather。Tellhimeverything。Willyou?“

  “Yes,Iwill。Ishouldhavedoneit,anyway。IfIgohome,andI

  supposeImust,Ishalltellhim;itwillbebetterthanwriting。

  ButIwantyouranswerbeforeIgo。Won’tyougiveittome?“

  Helookedveryhandsomeandverymanly,ashestoodtherepleading。

  ButMaryhadmadeuphermind。

  “Ican’t,Crawford,“shesaid。“PerhapsIdon’tknow。Idoknowthatitwouldnotberightformetosaywhatyouwantmetosay——

  now。Gohometoyourfather;heneedsyou。Tellhimeverythingandthen——writeme。“

  Helookedather,along,longlook。Thenhenoddedslowly。

  “Allright,“hesaid;“Iwill。IwilltellhimthatImeantomarryyou。Ifhesaysyes——ashewill,I’msure——thenI’llwriteyouthat。Ifhesaysno,I’llwriteyouthat。Butineithercase,MaryLathrop,Ishallmarryyoujustthesame。Yourownnowillbetheonlythingthatcanpreventit。AndnowmayIcomeandseeyoutomorrowevening?“

  “Nottomorrow,Crawford。Whenwillyoustartforhome?“

  “Saturday,Ithink。MayIcomethedayaftertomorrow?Justtosaygood-by,youknow。“

  Marywastroubled。Shecouldnotdenyhimandyetshewascertainitwouldbebetterforthembothifhedidnotcome。

  “Perhaps,“shesaiddoubtfully。“Butonlytosaygood-by。Youmustpromisethat。“

  Therewasaringatthebell。ThenMaggie,themaid,appearedtoannouncethattheHowemotorcarwaswaitingatthecurb。AfewmomentslaterMarywasinherroomadjustinghernewhatbeforethemirror。Ordinarily,adjustingthathatwouldhavebeenanabsorbingandpainstakingperformance;justnowitwasdonewithscarcelyathought。HowdevoutlyshewishedthattheHowecarandtheHowedinnerwerewaitingforanyoneinthewideworldbuther!Shedidnotwishtomeetstrangers;shedidnotwishtogoanywhere,aboveallshedidnotwishtoeat。Thatevening,ofalleveningsinherlife,shewishedtobealone。However,acceptedinvitationsareimpliedobligationsandMary,havingadjustedthehat,gavehereyesafinaldabwithahandkerchiefandcoldwaterandhasteneddowntoanswerthecalltosocialmartyrdom。

  Itwasnotexcruciatingtorture,thatdinnerintheHowedining-

  room,eventoayoungladywhohadjustlistenedtoaproposalofmarriageanddesiredtothinkofnothinglessimportant。Mr。Howewasbigandjolly。Mrs。Howewasgray-hairedandgraciousandBarbarawas——Barbara。Also,therewasafriendofMr。Howe’s,anelderlygentlemannamedGreen,whoitseemedwasoneofafirmofwholesalegrocersdowntown,andwhotoldfunnystoriesand,bywayofprovingthattheywerefunny,laughedheartiestofallattheendingofeach。HesatnextMrs。Howeduringdinner,butlater,whentheywereallinthehandsomedrawing-room,hecameoverandseatedhimselfuponthesofanextMaryandenteredintoconversationwithher。

  “YouarenotabornBostonian,Iunderstand,MissLathrop,“heobserved。“Animportation,eh?Ho,ho!Yes。Well,howdoyoulikeus?“

  Marysmiled。“Oh,IlikeBostonverymuch,Mr。Green,“sheanswered。“IknowitbetterthananyotherAmericancity,perhapsthatiswhy。ItwastheonlycityIhadeverseenuntilquiterecently。Iamimported——asyoucallit——fromnotsofaraway。MyhomeisonCapeCod。“

  Mr。Greenregardedherwithinterest。

  “So?“hesaid。“FromCapeCod,eh?That’sratherpeculiar。IhavebeenverymuchinterestedintheCapeforthepastdayorso。

  SomethinghasoccurredinconnectionwithmybusinesswhichbroughttheCapetomind。Myattentionhasbeen——er——asyoumaysay,grippedbythestrongrightarmofMassachusetts。Eh?Ho,ho!“

  Hechuckledathisownjoke。Marywasratherbored,butshetriednottoshowit。

  “WhatpartoftheCapehasinterestedyou,Mr。Green?“sheinquiredforthesakeofsayingsomething。

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