’But，Sir，doesnotRousseautalksuchnonsense？’JOHNSON。’True，Sir，butRousseauKNOWSheistalkingnonsense，andlaughsattheworldforstaringathim。’BOSWELL。’Howso，Sir？’JOHNSON。
’Why，Sir，amanwhotalksnonsensesowell，mustknowthatheistalkingnonsense。ButIamAFRAID，chucklingandlaughing，
MonboddodoesNOTknowthatheistalkingnonsense。’BOSWELL。’Isitwrongthen，Sir，toaffectsingularity，inordertomakepeoplestare？’JOHNSON。’Yes，ifyoudoitbypropagatingerrour：and，indeed，itiswronginanyway。Thereisinhumannatureageneralinclinationtomakepeoplestare；andeverywisemanhashimselftocureofit，anddoescurehimself。Ifyouwishtomakepeoplestarebydoingbetterthanothers，why，makethemstaretilltheystaretheireyesout。Butconsiderhoweasyitistomakepeoplestarebybeingabsurd。Imaydoitbygoingintoadrawing-roomwithoutmyshoes。YourememberthegentlemaninTheSpectator，whohadacommissionoflunacytakenoutagainsthimforhisextremesingularity，suchasneverwearingawig，butanight-cap。Now，Sir，abstractedly，thenight-capwasbest；but，relatively，theadvantagewasoverbalancedbyhismakingtheboysrunafterhim。’
TalkingofaLondonlife，hesaid，’ThehappinessofLondonisnottobeconceivedbutbythosewhohavebeeninit。Iwillventuretosay，thereismorelearningandsciencewithinthecircumferenceoftenmilesfromwherewenowsit，thaninalltherestofthekingdom。’BOSWELL。’Theonlydisadvantageisthegreatdistanceatwhichpeoplelivefromoneanother。’JOHNSON。’Yes，Sir；butthatisoccasionedbythelargenessofit，whichisthecauseofalltheotheradvantages。’BOSWELL。’SometimesIhavebeeninthehumourofwishingtoretiretoadesart。’JOHNSON。’Sir，youhavedesartenoughinScotland。’
AlthoughIhadpromisedmyselfagreatdealofinstructiveconversationwithhimontheconductofthemarriedstate，ofwhichIhadthenanearprospect，hedidnotsaymuchuponthattopick。
Mr。Sewardheardhimoncesay，that’amanhasaverybadchanceforhappinessinthatstate，unlesshemarriesawomanofverystrongandfixedprinciplesofreligion。’Hemaintainedtome，contrarytothecommonnotion，thatawomanwouldnotbetheworsewifeforbeinglearned；inwhich，fromallthatIhaveobservedofArtemisias，Ihumblydifferedfromhim。
WhenIcensuredagentlemanofmyacquaintanceformarryingasecondtime，asitshewedadisregardofhisfirstwife，hesaid，’Notatall，Sir。Onthecontrary，werehenottomarryagain，itmightbeconcludedthathisfirstwifehadgivenhimadisgusttomarriage；butbytakingasecondwifehepaysthehighestcomplimenttothefirst，byshewingthatshemadehimsohappyasamarriedman，thathewishestobesoasecondtime。’Soingeniousaturndidhegivetothisdelicatequestion。Andyet，onanotheroccasion，heownedthatheoncehadalmostaskedapromiseofMrs。
Johnsonthatshewouldnotmarryagain，buthadcheckedhimself。
Indeed，Icannothelpthinking，thatinhiscasetherequestwouldhavebeenunreasonable；forifMrs。Johnsonforgot，orthoughtitnoinjurytothememoryofherfirstlove，——thehusbandofheryouthandthefatherofherchildren，——tomakeasecondmarriage，whyshouldshebeprecludedfromathird，shouldshebesoinclined？InJohnson’sperseveringfondappropriationofhisTetty，evenafterherdecease，heseemstotallytohaveoverlookedthepriorclaimofthehonestBirminghamtrader。Ipresumethatherhavingbeenmarriedbeforehad，attimes，givenhimsomeuneasiness；forIrememberhisobservinguponthemarriageofoneofourcommonfriends，’Hehasdoneaveryfoolishthing，Sir；hehasmarriedawidow，whenhemighthavehadamaid。’
WedrankteawithMrs。Williams。IhadlastyearthepleasureofseeingMrs。ThraleatDr。Johnson’sonemorning，andhadconversationenoughwithhertoadmirehertalents，andtoshewherthatIwasasJohnsonianasherself。Dr。Johnsonhadprobablybeenkindenoughtospeakwellofme，forthiseveninghedeliveredmeaverypolitecardfromMr。Thraleandher，invitingmetoStreatham。
Onthe6thofOctoberIcompliedwiththisobliginginvitation，andfound，atanelegantvilla，sixmilesfromtown，everycircumstancethatcanmakesocietypleasing。Johnson，thoughquiteathome，wasyetlookeduptowithanawe，temperedbyaffection，andseemedtobeequallythecareofhishostandhostess。Irejoicedatseeinghimsohappy。
HeplayedoffhiswitagainstScotlandwithagoodhumouredpleasantry，whichgaveme，thoughnobigottonationalprejudices，anopportunityforalittlecontestwithhim。IhavingsaidthatEnglandwasobligedtousforgardeners，almostalltheirgoodgardenersbeingScotchmen。JOHNSON。’Why，Sir，thatisbecausegardeningismuchmorenecessaryamongstyouthanwithus，whichmakessomanyofyourpeoplelearnit。ItisALLgardeningwithyou。Thingswhichgrowwildhere，mustbecultivatedwithgreatcareinScotland。Praynowthrowinghimselfbackinhischair，andlaughing，areyoueverabletobringtheSLOEtoperfection？’
Iboastedthatwehadthehonourofbeingthefirsttoabolishtheunhospitable，troublesome，andungraciouscustomofgivingvailstoservants。JOHNSON。’Sir，youabolishedvails，becauseyouweretoopoortobeabletogivethem。’
Mrs。ThraledisputedwithhimonthemeritofPrior。Heattackedhimpowerfully；saidhewroteoflovelikeamanwhohadneverfeltit：hisloveverseswerecollegeverses；andherepeatedthesong’Alexisshunn’dhisfellowswains，’&c。，insoludicrousamanner，astomakeusallwonderhowanyonecouldhavebeenpleasedwithsuchfantasticalstuff。Mrs。Thralestoodtohergunwithgreatcourage，indefenceofamorousditties，whichJohnsondespised，tillheatlastsilencedherbysaying，’MydearLady，talknomoreofthis。Nonsensecanbedefendedbutbynonsense。’
Mrs。ThralethenpraisedGarrick’stalentforlightgaypoetry；
and，asaspecimen，repeatedhissonginFlorizelandPerdita，anddweltwithpeculiarpleasureonthisline：
’I’dsmilewiththesimple，andfeedwiththepoor。’
JOHNSON。’Nay，mydearLady，thiswillneverdo。PoorDavid!
Smilewiththesimple；——Whatfollyisthat？Andwhowouldfeedwiththepoorthatcanhelpit？No，no；letmesmilewiththewise，andfeedwiththerich。’IrepeatedthissallytoGarrick，andwonderedtofindhissensibilityasawriternotalittleirritatedbyit。Tosoothhim，Iobserved，thatJohnsonsparednoneofus；andIquotedthepassageinHorace，inwhichhecomparesonewhoattackshisfriendsforthesakeofalaugh，toapushingox，thatismarkedbyabunchofhayputuponhishorns：
’foenumhabetincornu。’’Ay，saidGarrickvehemently，hehasawholeMOWofit。’
HewouldnotallowmuchmerittoWhitefield’soratory。’Hispopularity，Sir，saidbe，ischieflyowingtothepeculiarityofhismanner。Hewouldbefollowedbycrowdswerehetowearanight-capinthepulpit，orwerehetopreachfromatree。’
OntheeveningofOctober10，IpresentedDr。JohnsontoGeneralPaoli。Ihadgreatlywishedthattwomen，forwhomIhadthehighestesteem，shouldmeet。Theymetwithamanlyease，mutuallyconsciousoftheirownabilities，andoftheabilitiesofeachother。TheGeneralspokeItalian，andDr。JohnsonEnglish，andunderstoodoneanotherverywell，withalittleaidofinterpretationfromme，inwhichIcomparedmyselftoanisthmuswhichjoinstwogreatcontinents。UponJohnson’sapproach，theGeneralsaid，’FromwhatIhavereadofyourworks，Sir，andfromwhatMr。Boswellhastoldmeofyou，Ihavelongheldyouingreatveneration。’TheGeneraltalkedoflanguagesbeingformedontheparticularnotionsandmannersofapeople，withoutknowingwhich，wecannotknowthelanguage。Wemayknowthedirectsignificationofsinglewords；butbythesenobeautyofexpression，nosallyofgenius，nowitisconveyedtothemind。Allthismustbebyallusiontootherideas。’Sir，saidJohnson，youtalkoflanguage，asifyouhadneverdoneanythingelsebutstudyit，insteadofgoverninganation。’TheGeneralsaid，’Questoeuntroppograncomplimento；’thisistoogreatacompliment。Johnsonanswered，’Ishouldhavethoughtso，Sir，ifIhadnotheardyoutalk。’TheGeneralaskedhim，whathethoughtofthespiritofinfidelitywhichwassoprevalent。JOHNSON。’Sir，thisgloomofinfidelity，Ihope，isonlyatransientcloudpassingthroughthehemisphere，whichwillsoonbedissipated，andthesunbreakforthwithhisusualsplendour。’’Youthinkthen，saidtheGeneral，
thattheywillchangetheirprinciplesliketheirclothes。’
JOHNSON。’Why，Sir，iftheybestownomorethoughtonprinciplesthanondress，itmustbeso。’TheGeneralsaid，that’agreatpartofthefashionableinfidelitywasowingtoadesireofshewingcourage。Menwhohavenoopportunitiesofshewingitastothingsinthislife，takedeathandfuturityasobjectsonwhichtodisplayit。’JOHNSON。’Thatismightyfoolishaffectation。Fearisoneofthepassionsofhumannature，ofwhichitisimpossibletodivestit。YourememberthattheEmperourCharlesV，whenhereaduponthetomb-stoneofaSpanishnobleman，“Hereliesonewhoneverknewfear，“wittilysaid，“Thenheneversnuffedacandlewithhisfingers。“’
Dr。Johnsonwenthomewithme，anddrankteatilllateinthenight。Hesaid，’GeneralPaolihadtheloftiestportofanymanhehadeverseen。’Hedeniedthatmilitarymenwerealwaysthebestbredmen。’Perfectgoodbreeding，’heobserved，’consistsinhavingnoparticularmarkofanyprofession，butageneraleleganceofmanners；whereas，inamilitaryman，youcancommonlydistinguishtheBRANDofasoldier，l’hommed’epee。’
Dr。Johnsonshunnedto-nightanydiscussionoftheperplexedquestionoffateandfreewill，whichIattemptedtoagitate。
’Sir，saidhe，weKNOWourwillisfree，andTHERE’Sanendon’t。’
Hehonouredmewithhiscompanyatdinneronthe16thofOctober，atmylodgingsinOldBond-street，withSirJoshuaReynolds，Mr。
Garrick，Dr。Goldsmith，Mr。Murphy，Mr。Bickerstaff，andMr。ThomasDavies。Garrickplayedroundhimwithafondvivacity，takingholdofthebreastsofhiscoat，and，lookingupinhisfacewithalivelyarchness，complimentedhimonthegoodhealthwhichheseemedthentoenjoy；whilethesage，shakinghishead，beheldhimwithagentlecomplacency。Oneofthecompanynotbeingcomeattheappointedhour，Iproposed，asusualuponsuchoccasions，toorderdinnertobeserved；adding，’Oughtsixpeopletobekeptwaitingforone？’’Why，yes，answeredJohnson，withadelicatehumanity，iftheonewillsuffermorebyyoursittingdown，thanthesixwilldobywaiting。’Goldsmith，todivertthetediousminutes，struttedabout，braggingofhisdress，andIbelievewasseriouslyvainofit，forhismindwaswonderfullypronetosuchimpressions。’Come，come，saidGarrick，talknomoreofthat。
Youare，perhaps，theworst——eh，eh!’——Goldsmithwaseagerlyattemptingtointerrupthim，whenGarrickwenton，laughingironically，’Nay，youwillalwaysLOOKlikeagentleman；butIamtalkingofbeingwellorILLDREST。’’Well，letmetellyou，saidGoldsmith，whenmytailorbroughthomemybloom-colouredcoat，hesaid，“Sir，Ihaveafavourtobegofyou。Whenanybodyasksyouwhomadeyourclothes，bepleasedtomentionJohnFilby，attheHarrow，inWaterlane。“’JOHNSON。’Why，Sir，thatwasbecauseheknewthestrangecolourwouldattractcrowdstogazeatit，andthustheymighthearofhim，andseehowwellhecouldmakeacoatevenofsoabsurdacolour。’