observedmycomrade，pointingtowardsthedwellingwithhisthumb；’ashnugspot，andbelongstotheMooneysthislongtime。
’Tisanotedplaceforwhathappenedwidthefamousgandherthereinformertimes。’
’Andwhatwasthat？’inquiredI。
’Whatwasithappenedwidthegandher!’
ejaculatedmycompanioninatoneofindignantsurprise；’thegandherivBallymacrucker，thegandher!Yourraverancemustbeastrangerintheseparts。Sureeveryfoolknowsallaboutthegandher，andTerenceMooney，thatwas，resthissowl。Begorra，’tissurprisin’tomehowintheworldyoudidn’thearivthegandher；andmaybeit’sfunninmeyeare，yourraverance。’
Iassuredhimtothecontrary，andconjuredhimtonarratetomethefacts，anunacquaintancewithwhichwassufficientitappearedtostampmeasanignoramusofthefirstmagnitude。
Itdidnotrequiremuchentreatytoinducemycommunicativefriendtorelatethecircumstance，innearlythefollowingwords：
’TerenceMooneywasanhonestboyandwelltodo；an’herintedthebiggestfarmonthissideivtheGalties；an’bein’
mightycutean’asevareworker，itwassmallwonderheturnedagoodpennyeveryharvest。Butunluckilyhewasblessedwithanilegantlargefamilyivdaughters，an’ivcoorsehisheartwasallamostbruck，strivingtomakeupfortunesforthewholeofthem。An’therewasn’taconthrivanceivanysoartordescriptionformakin’moneyoutivthefarm，buthewasupto。
’Well，amongtheotherwayshehadivgettin’upintheworld，healwayskepapowerivturkeys，andallsoartsivpoul-
trey；an’hewasoutivallrasonpartialtogeese——an’smallblametohimforthatsame——fortwice’tayearyoucanpluckthemasbareasmyhand——an’getafinepriceforthefeathers，an’plentyofralesizableeggs——an’whentheyaretooouldtolayanymore，youcankillthem，an’sellthemtothegintlemenforgoslings，d’yesee，letalonethatagooseisthemostmanlybirdthatisout。
’Well，ithappenedinthecoorseivtimethatoneouldgandhertuckawondherfullikin’toTerence，an’divilaplacehecouldgoserenadin’aboutthefarm，orlookin’
aftherthemen，butthegandheridbeathisheels，an’rubbin’himselfaginhislegs，an’lookin’upinhisfacejistlikeanyotherChristianiddo；an’begorra，thelikesivitwasneverseen——TerenceMooneyan’thegandherworsogreat。
’An’atlastthebirdwassoengagin’
thatTerencewouldnotallowittobepluckedanymore，an’kepitfromthattimeoutforlovean’affection——justallasonelikeoneivhischilder。
’Buthappinessinperfectionneverlastslong，an’theneighboursbegin’dtosuspectthenathuran’intentionsivthegandher，an’someivthemsaiditwasthedivil，an’
moreivthemthatitwasafairy。
’Well，Terencecouldnotbuthearsomethingofwhatwassayin’，an’youmaybesurehewasnotaltogetherasyinhismindaboutit，an’fromonedaytoanotherhewasgettin’moreancomfortableinhimself，untilhedetarminedtosindforJerGarvan，thefairydocthorinGarryowen，an’it’shewastheileganthandatthebusiness，an’
divilasperitidsayacrasswordtohim，nomorenorapriest。An’moreoverhewasverygreatwidouldTerenceMooney——
thisman’sfatherthat’was。
’Sowithoutmoreaboutithewassintfor，an’sureenoughthedivilalonghewasaboutit，forhekembackthatveryevenin’alongwidtheboythatwassintforhim，an’assoonashewasthere，an’
tuckhissupper，an’wasdonetalkin’forawhile，hebeginedofcoorsetolookintothegandher。
’Well，heturneditthisawayan’thataway，totherightan’totheleft，an’
straight-waysan’upside-down，an’whenhewastiredhandlin’it，sayshetoTerenceMooney：
’“Terence，“sayshe，“youmustremovethebirdintothenextroom，“sayshe，“an’
putapetticoat，“sayshe，“orannyotherconvaynienceroundhishead，“sayshe。
’“An’whyso？“saysTerence。
’“Becase，“saysJer，sayshe。
’“Becasewhat？“saysTerence。
’“Becase，“saysJer，“ifitisn’tdoneyou’llneverbeasyagain，“sayshe，“orpusilanimousinyourmind，“sayshe；“soaxnomorequestions，butdomybiddin’，“
sayshe。
’“Well，“saysTerence，“haveyourownway，“sayshe。
’An’widthathetucktheouldgandher，an’giv’ittooneivthegossoons。
’“An’takecare，“sayshe，“don’tsmotherthecrathur，“sayshe。
’Well，assoonasthebirdwasgone，saysJerGarvansayshe：
’“DoyouknowwhatthatouldgandherIS，TerenceMooney？“
’“Divilataste，“saysTerence。
’“Wellthen，“saysJer，“thegandherisyourownfather，“sayshe。
’“It’sjokin’youare，“saysTerence，turnin’mightypale；“howcananouldgandherbemyfather？“sayshe。
’“I’mnotfunnin’youatall，“saysJer；
“it’sthruewhatItellyou，it’syourfather’swandhrin’sowl，“sayshe，“that’snaturallytuckpissessionivtheouldgandher’sbody，“sayshe。“Iknowhimmanyways，andIwondher，“sayshe，“youdonotknowthecockivhiseyeyourself，“
sayshe。
’“Ohbluran’ages!“saysTerence，“whatthedivilwillIeverdoatallatall，“sayshe；“it’salloverwidme，forIpluckedhimtwelvetimesatthelaste，“
sayshe。
’“Thatcan’tbehelpednow，“saysJer；
“itwasasevareactsurely，“sayshe，“butit’stoolatetolamintforitnow，“sayshe；“theonlywaytoprevintwhat’spast，“
sayshe，“istoputastoptoitbeforeithappens，“sayshe。
’“Thrueforyou，“saysTerence，“buthowthedivildidyoucometotheknowledgeivmyfather’ssowl，“sayshe，“bein’
intheowldgandher，“sayshe。
’“IfItouldyou，“saysJer，“youwouldnotundherstandme，“sayshe，“withoutbook-larnin’an’gasthronomy，“sayshe；“soaxmenoquestions，“sayshe，“an’
I’lltellyounolies。Butblievemeinthismuch，“sayshe，“it’syourfatherthat’sinit，“sayshe；“an’ifIdon’tmakehimspaketo-morrowmornin’，“sayshe，“I’llgiveyoulavetocallmeafool，“sayshe。
’“Saynomore，“saysTerence，“thatsettlesthebusiness，“sayshe；“an’oh!
blurandagesisitnotaquarething，“
sayshe，“foradacentrespictableman，“
sayshe，“tobewalkin’aboutthecoun-
thryintheshapeivanouldgandher，“
sayshe；“andoh，murdher，murdher!
isnotitoftenIpluckedhim，“sayshe，“an’tundherandounsmightnotIhaveatehim，“sayshe；andwidthathefellintoacouldparspiration，savin’yourprisince，anwasonthepintivfaintin’
widthebarenotionsivit。
’Well，whinhewascometohimselfagin，saysJerrytohimquitean’
asy：
’“Terence，“sayshe，“don’tbeaggravatin’yourself，“sayshe；“forIhaveaplancomposedthat’illmakehimspakeout，“sayshe，“an’tellwhatitisintheworldhe’swantin’，“sayshe；“an’mindan’don’tbecomin’inwidyourgosther，an’tosayaginanythingItellyou，“sayshe，“butjistpurtind，assoonasthebirdisbroughtback，“sayshe，“howthatwe’regoin’tosindhimto-morrowmornin’
tomarket，“sayshe。“An’ifhedon’tspaketo-night，“sayshe，“orgotherhimselfoutivtheplace，“sayshe，“puthimintothehamperairly，andsindhiminthecart，“sayshe，“straighttoTipperary，tobesouldforating，“sayshe，“alongwidthetwogossoons，“sayshe，“an’mynameisn’tJerGarvan，“sayshe，“ifhedoesn’tspakeoutbeforehe’shalf-way，“sayshe。
“An’mind，“sayshe，“assoonasiverhesaysthefirstword，“sayshe，“thatveryminutebringhimafftoFatherCrotty，“sayshe；“an’ifhisraverincedoesn’tmakehimratire，“sayshe，“liketherestivhisparishioners，glorybetoGod，“sayshe，“intothesiclusionivtheflamesivpurgathory，“sayshe，“there’snovartueinmycharums，“sayshe。
’Well，widthattheouldgandherwasletintotheroomagin，an’theyallbiginedtotalkivsindin’himthenixtmornin’
tobesouldforroastin’inTipperary，jistasifitwasathingandoubtinglysettled。
Butdivilanoticethegandhertuck，nomorenoriftheyworspakingivtheLord-Liftinant；an’Terencedesiredtheboystogetreadythekishforthepoulthry，an’to“settleitoutwidhaysoftan’shnug，“sayshe，“forit’sthelastjauntin’thepoorouldgandher’illgetinthisworld，“sayshe。
’Well，asthenightwasgettin’late，Terencewasgrowin’mightysorrowfulan’down-heartedinhimselfentirelywidthenotionsivwhatwasgoin’tohappen。
An’assoonasthewifean’thecrathurswarfairlyinbed，hebroughtoutsomeilligintpotteen，an’himselfan’JerGarvansotdowntoit；an’begorra，themoreanasyTerencegot，themorehedhrank，andhimselfandJerGarvanfinishedaquartbetunethem。Itwasn’tanimparialthough，an’more’sthepity，forthemwasn’tanvintedantilshortsince；
butdivilamuchmattheritsignifiesanylongerifapintcouldhouldtwoquarts，letalonewhatitdoes，sinstFatherMathew——theLordpurloinhisraverence——begin’dtogivethepledge，an’widtheblessin’ivtimperancetodeginerateIreland。
’An’begorra，Ihavethemedlemyself；
an’it’sproudIamivthatsame，forabstamiousnessisafinething，althoughit’smightydhry。
’Well，whinTerencefinishedhispint，hethoughthemightaswellstop；“forenoughisasgoodasafaste，“sayshe；
“an’Ipitythevagabond，“sayshe，“thatisnotabletoconthroulhislicquor，“sayshe，“an’tokeepconstantlyinsideivapintmeasure，“saidhe；an’widthathewishedJerGarvanagood-night，an’
walkedoutivtheroom。
’Buthewintoutthewrongdoor，bein’
athrifleheartyinhimself，an’notrightlyknowin’whetherhewasstandin’onhisheadorhisheels，orbothivthematthesametime，an’inplaceivgettin’intobed，wheredidhethrunhimselfbutintothepoulthryhamper，thattheboyshadsettledoutreadyforthegandherinthemornin’。An’sureenoughhesunkdownsoftan’complatethroughthehaytothebottom；an’widtheturnin’androulin’
aboutinthenight，thedivilabitivhimbutwascoveredupasshnugasalumperinapittatyfurrowbeforemornin’。
’Sowidthefirstlight，upgetsthetwoboys，thatwartotakethesperit，astheyconsaved，toTipperary；an’theycotchedtheouldgandher，an’puthiminthehamper，andclappedagoodwispivhayan’thetopivhim，andtieditdownsthrongwidabitivacoard，andmedthesignivthecrassoverhim，indhreadivanyharum，an’putthehamperupanthecar，wontherin’allthewhilewhatintheworldwasmakin’theouldburdsosurprisin’heavy。
’Well，theywintalongquiteanasytowardsTipperary，wishin’everyminutethatsomeivtheneighboursboundthesamewayidhappentofallinwiththem，fortheydidn’thalflikethenotionsivhavin’nocompanybutthebewitchedgandher，an’smallblametothemforthatsame。
’Butalthoughtheyworshakingintheirskhinsindhreadivtheouldbirdbeginnin’
toconvarsethemeveryminute，theydidnotletan’tooneanother，budkepsingin’
an’whistlin’likemad，tokeepthedreadoutivtheirhearts。
’Well，afthertheywarontheroadbetthernorhalfanhour，theykemtothebadbitclosebyFatherCrotty’s，an’therewasonedivilofarutthreefeetdeepatthelaste；an’
thecargotsichawondherfulchuckgoin’
throughit，thatitwakenedTerencewidininthebasket。
’“Badlucktoye，“sayshe，“mybonesisbruckwidyerthricks；whatthedivilareyedoin’widme？“
’“Didyehearanythingquare，Thady？“
saystheboythatwasnexttothecar，turnin’
aswhiteasthetopivamusharoon；
“didyehearanythingquaresoundin’outivthehamper？“sayshe。
’“No，noryou，’saysThady，turnin’aspaleashimself，“it’stheouldgandherthat’sgruntin’widtheshakin’he’sgettin’，“
sayshe。
’“Wherethedivilhaveyeputmeinto，“saysTerenceinside，“badlucktoyoursowls，“sayshe，“letmeout，orI’llbesmotheredthisminute，“sayshe。
’“There’snouseinpurtending，“saystheboy，“thegandher’sspakin’，glorybetoGod，“sayshe。
’“Letmeout，youmurdherers，“saysTerence。
’“InthenameivtheblessedVargin，“
saysThady，“an’ivalltheholysaints，houldyertongue，youunnatheralgandher，“
sayshe。
’“Who’sthat，thatdartocallmenick-
names？“saysTerenceinside，roaringwidthefairpassion，“letmeout，youblasphamiousinfiddles，“sayshe，“orbythiscrassI’llstretchye，“sayshe。
’“Inthenameivalltheblessedsaintsinheaven，“saysThady，“whothedivilareye？“