第19章
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  HethenproceededtoreadachapterfromtheBible;afterwhichhetookhisleavewiththesameaffectionatekindnesswithwhichhehadgreetedme,havingrepeatedhisdesirethatIshouldconsidereverythinginhishouseasaltogetheratmydisposal。ItisneedlesstosaythatI

  wasmuchpleasedwithmyuncle——itwasimpossibletoavoidbeingso;andIcouldnothelpsayingtomyself,ifsuchamanasthisisnotsafefromtheassaultsofslander,whois?IfeltmuchhappierthanIhaddonesincemyfather’sdeath,andenjoyedthatnightthefirstrefreshingsleepwhichhadvisitedmesincethatevent。

  Mycuriosityrespectingmymalecousindidnotlongremainunsatisfied——heappearedthenextdayatdinner。Hismanners,thoughnotsocoarseasIhadexpected,wereexceedinglydisagreeable;

  therewasanassuranceandaforwardnessforwhichIwasnotprepared;therewaslessofthevulgarityofmanner,andalmostmoreofthatofthemind,thanI

  hadanticipated。Ifeltquiteuncomfortableinhispresence;therewasjustthatconfidenceinhislookandtonewhichwouldreadencouragementeveninmeretoleration;andIfeltmoredisgustedandannoyedatthecoarseandextravagantcomplimentswhichhewaspleasedfromtimetotimetopayme,thanperhapstheextentoftheatrocitymightfullyhavewarranted。Itwas,however,oneconsolationthathedidnotoftenappear,beingmuchengrossedbypursuitsaboutwhichI

  neitherknewnorcaredanything;butwhenhedidappear,hisattentions,eitherwithaviewtohisamusementortosomemoreseriousadvantage,weresoobviouslyandperseveringlydirectedtome,thatyoungandinexperiencedasIwas,even_I_

  couldnotbeignorantofhispreference。I

  feltmoreprovokedbythisodiouspersecutionthanIcanexpress,anddiscouragedhimwithsomuchvigour,thatIemployedevenrudenesstoconvincehimthathisassiduitieswereunwelcome;butallinvain。

  Thishadgoneonfornearlyatwelve-

  month,tomyinfiniteannoyance,whenonedayasIwassittingatsomeneedle-workwithmycompanionEmily,aswasmyhabit,intheparlour,thedooropened,andmycousinEdwardenteredtheroom。

  Therewassomething,Ithought,oddinhismanner——akindofstrugglebetweenshameandimpudence——akindofflurryandambiguitywhichmadehimappear,ifpossible,morethanordinarilydisagreeable。

  ’Yourservant,ladies,’hesaid,seatinghimselfatthesametime;’sorrytospoilyourtete-a-tete,butnevermind,I’llonlytakeEmily’splaceforaminuteortwo;

  andthenwepartforawhile,faircousin。

  Emily,myfatherwantsyouinthecornerturret。Noshilly-shally;he’sinahurry。’

  Shehesitated。’Beoff——tramp,march!’

  heexclaimed,inatonewhichthepoorgirldarednotdisobey。

  Shelefttheroom,andEdwardfollowedhertothedoor。Hestoodthereforaminuteortwo,asifreflectingwhatheshouldsay,perhapssatisfyinghimselfthatnoonewaswithinhearinginthehall。

  Atlengthheturnedabout,havingclosedthedoor,asifcarelessly,withhisfoot;andadvancingslowly,asifindeepthought,hetookhisseatatthesideofthetableoppositetomine。

  Therewasabriefintervalofsilence,afterwhichhesaid:

  ’Iimaginethatyouhaveashrewdsuspicionoftheobjectofmyearlyvisit;butIsupposeImustgointoparticulars。

  MustI?’

  ’Ihavenoconception,’Ireplied,’whatyourobjectmaybe。’

  ’Well,well,’saidhe,becomingmoreathiseaseasheproceeded,’itmaybetoldinafewwords。Youknowthatitistotallyimpossible——quiteoutofthequestion——

  thatanoffhandyoungfellowlikeme,andagood-lookinggirllikeyourself,couldmeetcontinually,asyouandIhavedone,withoutanattachment——alikinggrowingupononesideorother;inshort,IthinkIhaveletyouknowasplainasifIspokeit,thatIhavebeeninlovewithyoualmostfromthefirsttimeIsawyou。’

  Hepaused;butIwastoomuchhorrifiedtospeak。Heinterpretedmysilencefavourably。

  ’Icantellyou,’hecontinued,’I’mreckonedratherhardtoplease,andveryhardtoHIT。Ican’tsaywhenIwastakenwithagirlbefore;soyouseefortunereservedme——’

  Heretheodiouswretchwoundhisarmroundmywaist。Theactionatoncerestoredmetoutterance,andwiththemostindignantvehemenceIreleasedmyselffromhishold,andatthesametimesaid:

  ’Ihavenotbeeninsensible,sir,ofyourmostdisagreeableattentions——theyhavelongbeenasourceofmuchannoyancetome;andyoumustbeawarethatIhavemarkedmydisapprobation——mydisgust——

  asunequivocallyasIpossiblycould,withoutactualindelicacy。’

  Ipaused,almostoutofbreathfromtherapiditywithwhichIhadspoken;andwithoutgivinghimtimetorenewtheconversation,Ihastilyquittedtheroom,leavinghiminaparoxysmofrageandmortification。AsIascendedthestairs,Iheardhimopentheparlour-doorwithviolence,andtaketwoorthreerapidstridesinthedirectioninwhichIwasmoving。I

  wasnowmuchfrightened,andranthewholewayuntilIreachedmyroom;andhavinglockedthedoor,Ilistenedbreathlessly,butheardnosound。Thisrelievedmeforthepresent;butsomuchhadI

  beenovercomebytheagitationandannoyanceattendantuponthescenewhichIhadjustgonethrough,thatwhenmycousinEmilyknockedatmydoor,Iwasweepinginstronghysterics。

  Youwillreadilyconceivemydistress,whenyoureflectuponmystrongdisliketomycousinEdward,combinedwithmyyouthandextremeinexperience。Anyproposalofsuchanaturemusthaveagitatedme;butthatitshouldhavecomefromthemanwhomofallothersImostloathedandabhorred,andtowhomIhad,asclearlyasmannercoulddoit,expressedthestateofmyfeelings,wasalmosttoooverwhelmingtobeborne。Itwasacalamity,too,inwhichIcouldnotclaimthesym-

  pathyofmycousinEmily,whichhadalwaysbeenextendedtomeinmyminorgrievances。StillIhopedthatitmightnotbeunattendedwithgood;forI

  thoughtthatoneinevitableandmostwelcomeconsequencewouldresultfromthispainfuleclaircissment,inthediscontinuanceofmycousin’sodiouspersecution。

  WhenIarosenextmorning,itwaswiththeferventhopethatImightneveragainbeholdtheface,orevenhearthename,ofmycousinEdward;butsuchaconsummation,thoughdevoutlytobewished,washardlylikelytooccur。Thepainfulimpressionsofyesterdayweretoovividtobeatonceerased;andIcouldnothelpfeelingsomedimforebodingofcomingannoyanceandevil。

  Toexpectonmycousin’spartanythinglikedelicacyorconsiderationforme,wasoutofthequestion。Isawthathehadsethisheartuponmyproperty,andthathewasnotlikelyeasilytoforegosuchanacquisition——possessingwhatmighthavebeenconsideredopportunitiesandfacilitiesalmosttocompelmycompliance。

  Inowkeenlyfelttheunreasonablenessofmyfather’sconductinplacingmetoresidewithafamilyofallwhosemembers,withoneexception,hewaswhollyignorant,andIbitterlyfeltthehelplessnessofmysituation。Idetermined,however,incaseofmycousin’sperseveringinhisaddresses,tolayalltheparticularsbeforemyuncle,althoughhehadneverinkindnessorintimacygoneastepbeyondourfirstinterview,andtothrowmyselfuponhishospitalityandhissenseofhonourforprotectionagainstarepetitionofsuchscenes。

  Mycousin’sconductmayappeartohavebeenaninadequatecauseforsuchseriousuneasiness;butmyalarmwascausedneitherbyhisactsnorwords,butentirelybyhismanner,whichwasstrangeandevenintimidatingtoexcess。Atthebeginningoftheyesterday’sinterviewtherewasasortofbullyingswaggerinhisair,whichtowardstheendgaveplacetothebrutalvehemenceofanundisguisedruffian——atransitionwhichhadtemptedmeintoabeliefthathemightseekevenforciblytoextortfrommeaconsenttohiswishes,orbymeansstillmorehorrible,ofwhichI

  scarcelydaredtotrustmyselftothink,topossesshimselfofmyproperty。

  Iwasearlynextdaysummonedtoattendmyuncleinhisprivateroom,whichlayinacornerturretoftheoldbuilding;andthitherIaccordinglywent,wonderingallthewaywhatthisunusualmeasuremightprelude。WhenIenteredtheroom,hedidnotriseinhisusualcourteouswaytogreetme,butsimplypointedtoachairoppositetohisown。Thisbodednothingagreeable。Isatdown,however,silentlywaitinguntilheshouldopentheconversation。

  ’LadyMargaret,’atlengthhesaid,inatoneofgreatersternnessthanIthoughthimcapableofusing,’Ihavehithertospokentoyouasafriend,butIhavenotforgottenthatIamalsoyourguardian,andthatmyauthorityassuchgivesmearighttocontrolyourconduct。Ishallputaquestiontoyou,andIexpectandwilldemandaplain,directanswer。HaveIrightlybeeninformedthatyouhavecon-

  temptuouslyrejectedthesuitandhandofmysonEdward?’

  Istammeredforthwithagooddealoftrepidation:

  ’Ibelieve——thatis,Ihave,sir,rejectedmycousin’sproposals;andmycoldnessanddiscouragementmighthaveconvincedhimthatIhaddeterminedtodoso。’

  ’Madam,’repliedhe,withsuppressed,but,asitappearedtome,intenseanger,’IhavelivedlongenoughtoknowthatCOLDNESSanddiscouragement,andsuchterms,formthecommoncantofaworthlesscoquette。Youknowtothefull,aswellasI,thatCOLDNESSANDDISCOURAGEMENT

  maybesoexhibitedastoconvincetheirobjectthatheisneitherdistastefulorindifferenttothepersonwhowearsthismanner。Youknow,too,nonebetter,thatanaffectedneglect,whenskilfullymanaged,isamongstthemostformidableoftheengineswhichartfulbeautycanemploy。

  Itellyou,madam,thathaving,withoutonewordspokenindiscouragement,permittedmyson’smostmarkedattentionsforatwelvemonthormore,youhavenorighttodismisshimwithnofurtherexplanationthandemurelytellinghimthatyouhadalwayslookedcoldlyuponhim;

  andneitheryourwealthnoryourLADYSHIP’

  therewasanemphasisofscornontheword,whichwouldhavebecomeSirGilesOverreachhimself’canwarrantyouintreatingwithcontempttheaffectionateregardofanhonestheart。’

  Iwastoomuchshockedatthisundisguisedattempttobullymeintoanacquiescenceintheinterestedandunprincipledplanfortheirownaggrandisement,whichInowperceivedmyuncleandhissontohavedeliberatelyenteredinto,atoncetofindstrengthorcollectednesstoframeananswertowhathehadsaid。AtlengthI

  replied,withsomefirmness:

  ’Inallthatyouhavejustnowsaid,sir,youhavegrosslymisstatedmyconductandmotives。Yourinformationmusthavebeenmostincorrectasfarasitregardsmyconducttowardsmycousin;mymannertowardshimcouldhaveconveyednothingbutdislike;andifanythingcouldhaveaddedtothestrongaversionwhichI

  havelongfelttowardshim,itwouldbehisattemptingthustotrickandfrightenmeintoamarriagewhichheknowstoberevoltingtome,andwhichissoughtbyhimonlyasameansforsecuringtohimselfwhateverpropertyismine。’

  AsIsaidthis,Ifixedmyeyesuponthoseofmyuncle,buthewastoooldintheworld’swaystofalterbeneaththegazeofmoresearchingeyesthanmine;hesimplysaid:

  ’Areyouacquaintedwiththeprovisionsofyourfather’swill?’

  Iansweredintheaffirmative;andhecontinued:

  ’ThenyoumustbeawarethatifmysonEdwardwere——whichGodforbid——theunprincipled,recklessmanyoupretendtothinkhim’——herehespokeveryslowly,asifheintendedthateverywordwhichescapedhimshouldberegisteredinmymemory,whileatthesametimetheexpressionofhiscountenanceunderwentagradualbuthorriblechange,andtheeyeswhichhefixeduponmebecamesodarklyvivid,thatIalmostlostsightofeverythingelse——’ifhewerewhatyouhavedescribedhim,thinkyou,girl,hecouldfindnobriefermeansthanweddingcontractstogainhisends?’twasbuttogripeyourslenderneckuntilthebreathhadstopped,andlands,andlakes,andallwerehis。’

  Istoodstaringathimformanyminutesafterhehadceasedtospeak,fascinatedbytheterribleserpent-likegaze,untilhecontinuedwithawelcomechangeofcountenance:

  ’Iwillnotspeakagaintoyouuponthis——topicuntilonemonthhaspassed。Youshallhavetimetoconsidertherelativeadvantagesofthetwocourseswhichareopentoyou。Ishouldbesorrytohurryyoutoadecision。Iamsatisfiedwithhavingstatedmyfeelingsuponthesubject,andpointedouttoyouthepathofduty。

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