第11章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Letters on Literature",免费读到尾

  ’Iamthegentlemanyouname,’saidO’Connor;’andasyouappearimpatient,wehadbetterproceedtoyourcommissionwithoutdelay。’

  ’Then,Mr。O’Connor,youwillpleasetoreadthatnote,’saidthecaptain,placingasealedpaperinhishand。

  O’Connorreaditthrough,andthenobserved:

  ’Thisisveryextraordinaryindeed。

  Thisnoteappearstomeperfectlyunaccountable。’

  ’Youareveryyoung,Mr。O’Connor,’

  saidthecaptain,withvulgarfamiliarity;

  ’but,withoutmuchexperienceinthesematters,Ithinkyoumighthaveanticipatedsomethinglikethis。Youknowtheoldsaying,“Secondthoughtsarebest;“andsotheyareliketoprove,byG——!’

  ’Youwillhavenoobjection,CaptainM’Creagh,onthepartofyourfriend,tomyreadingthisnotetothesegentlemen;

  theyarebothconfidentialfriendsofmine,andoneofthemhasalreadyactedformeinthisbusiness。’

  ’Icanhavenoobjection,’repliedthecaptain,’toyourdoingwhatyoupleasewithyourown。IhavenothingmoretodowiththatnoteonceIputitsafeintoyourhand;andwhenthatisoncedone,itisallonetome,ifyoureadittohalftheworld——that’sYOURconcern,andnoaffairofmine。’

  O’Connorthenreadthefollowing:

  ’Mr。Fitzgeraldbegsleavetostate,thatuponre-perusingMr。O’Connor’scommunicationofthismorningcarefully,withanexperiencedfriend,heisforcedtoconsiderhimselfaschallenged。Hisfriend,CaptainM’Creagh,hasbeenempoweredbyhimtomakeallthenecessaryarrangements。

  ’T——Inn,Thursday。’

  IcanhardlydescribetheastonishmentwithwhichIheardthisnote。Iturnedtothecaptain,andsaid:

  ’Surely,sir,thereissomemistakeinallthis?’

  ’Nottheslightest,I’llassureyou,sir。’

  saidhe,coolly;’thecaseisaveryclearone,andIthinkmyfriendhasprettywellmadeuphisminduponit。MayI

  requestyouranswer?’hecontinued,turningtoO’Connor;’timeisprecious,youknow。’

  O’Connorexpressedhiswillingnesstocomplywiththesuggestion,andinafewminuteshadfoldedanddirectedthefollowingrejoinder:

  ’Mr。O’ConnorhavingreceivedasatisfactoryexplanationfromMr。

  Fitzgerald,ofthelanguageusedbythatgentleman,feelsthattherenolongerexistsanygroundsformisunderstanding,andwishesfurthertostate,thatthenoteofwhichMr。Fitzgeraldspeakswasnotintendedasachallenge。’

  Withthisnotethecaptaindeparted;andaswedidnotdoubtthatthemessagewhichhehaddeliveredhadbeensuggestedbysomeunintentionalmisconstructionofO’Connor’sfirstbillet,wefeltassuredthattheconclusionofhislastnotewouldsetthematteratrest。Inthisbelief,however,weweremistaken;beforewehadleftthetable,andinanincrediblyshorttime,thecaptainreturned。Heenteredtheroomwithacountenanceevidentlytaskedtoavoidexpressingthesatisfactionwhichaconsciousnessofthenatureofhismissionhadconferred;butinspiteofallhiseffortstolookgravelyunconcerned,therewasatwinkleinthesmallgreyeye,andanalmostimperceptiblemotioninthecornerofthemouth,whichsufficientlybetrayedhisinternalglee,asheplacedanoteinthehandofO’Connor。Astheyoungmancasthiseyeoverit,hecoloureddeeply,andturningtoM’Donough,hesaid:

  ’Youwillhavethegoodnesstomakeallthenecessaryarrangementsforameeting。

  SomethinghasoccurredtorenderonebetweenmeandMr。Fitzgeraldinevitable。Understandmeliterally,whenIsaythatitisnowtotallyimpossiblethatthisaffairshouldbeamicablyarranged。

  Youwillhavethegoodness,M’Donough,toletmeknowassoonasalltheparticularsarearranged。Purcell,’hecontinued,’willyouhavethekindnesstoaccompanyme?’andhavingbowedtoM’Creagh,welefttheroom。

  AsIclosedthedoorafterme,Iheardthecaptainlaugh,andthoughtIcoulddistinguishthewords——’By——IknewFitzgeraldwouldbringhimtohiswayofthinkingbeforehestopped。’

  IfollowedO’Connorintohisstudy,andonentering,thedoorbeingclosed,heshowedmethecommunicationwhichhaddeterminedhimuponhostilities。Itslanguagewasgrosslyimpertinent,anditconcludedbyactuallythreateningto’POST’

  him,incasehefurtherattempted’tobeOFF。’IcannotdescribetheagonyofindignationinwhichO’Connorwrithedunderthisinsult。Hesaidrepeatedlythat’hewasadegradedanddishohouredman,’

  that’hewasdraggedintothefield,’that’therewasignominyintheverythoughtthatsuchalettershouldhavebeendirectedtohim。’ItwasinvainthatIreasonedagainstthisimpression;theconvictionthathehadbeendisgracedhadtakenpossessionofhismind。HesaidagainandagainthatnothingbuthisDEATHcouldremovethestainwhichhisindecisionhadcastuponthenameofhisfamily。I

  hurriedtothehall,onhearingM’Donoughandthecaptainpassing,andreachedthedoorjustintimetohearthelattersay,ashemountedhishorse:

  ’Alltherestcanbearrangedonthespot;andsofarewell,Mr。M’Donough——

  we’llmeetatPhilippi,youknow;’andwiththisclassicalallusion,whichwasaccompaniedwithagrinandabow,andprobablyservedmanysuchoccasions,thecaptaintookhisdeparture。

  M’Donoughbrieflystatedthefewparticularswhichhadbeenarranged。Thepartiesweretomeetatthestand-house,intherace-ground,whichlayataboutanequaldistancebetweenCastleConnorandthetownofT。Thehourappointedwashalf-pastfiveonthenextmorning,atwhichtimethetwilightwouldbesufficientlyadvancedtoaffordadistinctview;

  andtheweaponstobeemployedwerePISTOLS——M’Creaghhavingclaimed,onthepartofhisfriend,alltheadvantagesoftheCHALLENGEDparty,andhaving,consequently,insisteduponthechoiceof’TOOLS,’asheexpressedhimself;anditwasfurtherstipulatedthattheutmostsecrecyshouldbeobserved,asFitzgeraldwouldincurgreatriskfromtheviolenceofthepeasantry,incasetheaffairtookwind。

  Theseconditionswere,ofcourse,agreeduponbyO’Connor,andM’Donoughleftthecastle,havingappointedfouro’clockuponthenextmorningasthehourofhisreturn,bywhichtimeitwouldbehisbusinesstoprovideeverythingnecessaryforthemeeting。Onhisdeparture,O’Connorrequestedmetoremainwithhimuponthatevening,sayingthat’hecouldnotbeartobealonewithhismother。’Itwastomeamostpainfulrequest,butatthesametimeonewhichI

  couldnotthinkofrefusing。Ifelt,however,thatthedifficultyatleastofthetaskwhichIhadtoperformwouldbeinsomemeasuremitigatedbythearrivaloftworelationsofO’Connoruponthatevening。

  ’Itisveryfortunate,’saidO’Connor,whosethoughtshadbeenrunninguponthesamesubject,’thattheO’Gradyswillbewithusto-night;theirgaietyandgood-humourwillrelieveusfromaheavytask。Itrustthatnothingmayoccurtopreventtheircoming。’Ferventlyconcurringinthesamewish,IaccompaniedO’Connorintotheparlour,theretoawaitthearrivalofhismother。

  GodgrantthatImayneverspendsuchanotherevening!TheO’GradysDIDcome,buttheirhighandnoisyspirits,sofarfromrelievingme,didbutgiveadditionalgloomtothedespondency,Imightsaythedespair,whichfilledmyheartwithmisery——

  theterribleforebodingswhichIcouldnotforaninstantsilence,turnedtheirlaughterintodiscord,andseemedtomockthesmilesandjestsoftheunconsciousparty。WhenIturnedmyeyesuponthemother,I

  thoughtIneverhadseenherlooksoproudlyandsolovinglyuponhersonbefore——itcutmetotheheart——oh,howcruellyIwasdeceivingher!Iwasahundredtimesontheverypointofstart-

  ingup,and,atallhazards,declaringtoherhowmatterswere;butotherfeelingssubduedmybetteremotions。Oh,whatmonstersarewemadeofbythefashionsoftheworld!howareourkindlierandnoblerfeelingswarpedordestroyedbytheirbalefulinfluences!IfeltthatitwouldnotbeHONOURABLE,thatitwouldnotbeETIQUETTE,tobetrayO’Connor’ssecret。IsacrificedahigherandanoblerdutythanIhavesincebeencalledupontoperform,tothedastardlyfearofbearingtheunmeritedcensureofaworldfromwhichIwasabouttoretire。OFashion!thougaudyidol,whosefeetareredwiththebloodofhumansacrifice,wouldIhadalwaysfelttowardstheeasInowdo!

  O’Connorwasnotdejected;onthecontrary,hejoinedwithloudandlivelyalacrityinthehilarityofthelittleparty;

  butIcouldseeintheflushofhischeek,andintheunusualbrightnessofhiseye,alltheexcitementoffever——hewasmakinganeffortalmostbeyondhisstrength,buthesucceeded——andwhenhismotherrosetoleavetheroom,itwaswiththeimpressionthathersonwasthegayestandmostlight-heartedofthecompany。Twiceorthriceshehadrisenwiththeintentionofretiring,butO’Connor,withaneagernesswhichIalonecouldunderstand,hadpersuadedhertoremainuntiltheusualhourofherdeparturehadlongpassed;andwhenatlengthshearose,declaringthatshecouldnotpossiblystaylonger,Ialonecouldcomprehendthedesolatechangewhichpassedoverhismanner;andwhenIsawthempart,itwaswiththesickeningconvictionthatthosetwobeings,sodeartooneanother,soloved,socherished,shouldmeetnomore。

  O’Connorbrieflyinformedhiscousinsofthepositioninwhichhewasplaced,requestingthematthesametimetoaccompanyhimtothefield,andthishavingbeensettled,weseparated,eachtohisownapartment。IhadwishedtositupwithO’Connor,whohadmatterstoarrangesufficienttoemployhimuntilthehourappointedforM’Donough’svisit;buthewouldnothearofit,andIwasforced,thoughsorelyagainstmywill,toleavehimwithoutacompanion。Iwenttomyroom,and,inastateofexcitementwhichIcannotdescribe,Ipacedforhoursupanddownitsnarrowprecincts。Icouldnot——

  whocould?——analysethestrange,contradictory,torturingfeelingswhich,whileI

  recoiledinshrinkinghorrorfromthescenewhichthemorningwastobring,yetforcedmetowishtheinterveningtimeannihilated;

  eachhourthattheclocktoldseemedtovibrateandtinklethrougheverynerve;

  myagitationwasdreadful;fancyconjureduptheformsofthosewhofilledmythoughtswithmorethanthevividnessofreality;thingsseemedtoglidethroughtheduskyshadowsoftheroom。IsawthedreadedformofFitzgerald——Iheardthehatedlaughofthecaptain——andagainthefeaturesofO’Connorwouldappearbeforeme,withghastlydistinctness,paleandwrithedindeath,thegoutsofgoreclottedinthemouth,andtheeye-ballsglaredandstaring。Scaredwiththevisionswhichseemedtothrongwithunceasingrapidityandvividness,Ithrewopenthewindowandlookedoutuponthequietscenearound。Iturnedmyeyesinthedirectionofthetown;aheavycloudwasloweringdarklyaboutit,andI,inimpiousfrenzy,prayedtoGodthatitmightburstinavengingfiresuponthemurderouswretchwholaybeneath。Atlength,sickandgiddywithexcessofexcitement,Ithrewmyselfuponthebedwithoutremovingmyclothes,andendeavouredtocomposemyselfsofarastoremainquietuntilthehourforourassemblingshouldarrive。

  Afewminutesbeforefouro’clockIstolenoiselesslydownstairs,andmademywaytothesmallstudyalreadymentioned。A

  candlewasburningwithin;and,whenI

  openedthedoor,O’Connorwasreadingabook,which,onseeingme,hehastilyclosed,colouringslightlyashedidso。

  Weexchangedacordialbutmournfulgreeting;andafteraslightpausehesaid,layinghishanduponthevolumewhichhehadshutamomentbefore:

  ’Purcell,Ifeelperfectlycalm,thoughI

  cannotsaythatIhavemuchhopeastotheissueofthismorning’srencounter。I

  shallavoidhalfthedanger。IfImustfall,IamdeterminedIshallnotgodowntothegravewithhisblooduponmyhands。IhaveresolvednottofireatFitzgerald——thatis,tofireinsuchadirectionastoassuremyselfagainsthittinghim。

  DonotsayawordofthistotheO’Gradys。

  Yourdoingsowouldonlyproducefruitlessaltercation;theycouldnotunderstandmymotives。IfeelconvincedthatIshallnotleavethefieldalive。IfImustdieto-

  day,Ishallavoidanawfulaggravationofwretchedness。Purcell,’hecontinued,afteralittlespace,’IwassoweakastofeelalmostashamedofthemannerinwhichI

  wasoccupiedasyouenteredtheroom。

  Yes,_I——I_whowillbe,beforethisevening,acoldandlifelessclod,wasashamedtohavespentmylastmomentofreflectioninprayer。Godpardonme!Godpardonme!’herepeated。

  Itookhishandandpressedit,butI

点击下载App,搜索"Letters on Literature",免费读到尾