’He-he-he!’saidtheRabbi，risingfromhisseat；’hehadtwofaces，hadhe？Andwhatdidthosetwofacestypify？Youdonotknow；no，nordidtheRomanswhocarvedhimwithtwofacesknowwhytheydidso；fortheywereonlyhalfenlightened，likeyouandtherestoftheGoyim。Yettheywererightincarvinghimwithtwofaceslookingfromeachother-theywereright，thoughtheyknewnotwhy；therewasatraditionamongthemthattheJaninosohadtwofaces，buttheyknewnotthatonewasfortheworldwhichwasgoneandtheotherfortheworldbeforehim-forthedrownedworldandforthepresent，asMasterLeoAbarbenelsaysinhisDIALOGUESOF
DIVINELOVE。He-he-he!’continuedtheRabbi，whohadbythistimeadvancedtothedoor，and，turninground，wavedthetwoforefingersofhisrighthandinourfaces；’theGoyimsandEpicouraiyimareclevermen，theyknowhowtomakemoneybetterthanweofIsrael。Mygoodfriendthereisacleverman，Ibringhimmoney，heneverbroughtmeany；BUENO，Idonotblamehim，heknowsmuch，verymuch；butonethingthereismyfrienddoesnotknow，noranyoftheEpicureans，hedoesnotknowthesacredthing-hehasneverreceivedthegiftofinterpretationwhichGodalonegivestotheseed-hehashisgift，Ihavemine-heissatisfied，Idon’tblamehim，BUENO。’
And，withthislastwordinhismouth，hedeparted。
’IsthatmananativeofSpain？’Idemanded。
’NotanativeofSpain，’saidtheArmenian，’thoughheisoneofthosewhocallthemselvesSpanishJews，andwhoaretobefoundscatteredthroughoutEurope，speakingtheSpanishlanguagetransmittedtothembytheirancestors，whowereexpelledfromSpaininthetimeofFerdinandandIsabella。’
’TheJewsareasingularpeople，’saidI。
’Araceofcowardsanddastards，’saidtheArmenian，’withoutahomeorcountry；servantstoservants；persecutedanddespisedbyall。’
’AndwhataretheHaiks？’Idemanded。
’VerydifferentfromtheJews，’repliedtheArmenian；’theHaikshaveahome-acountry，andcanoccasionallyuseagoodsword；
thoughitistruetheyarenotwhattheymightbe。’
’Thenitisashamethattheydonotbecomeso，’saidI；’buttheyaretoofondofmoney。Thereisyourself，withtwohundredthousandpoundsinyourpocket，cravingformore，whilstyoumightbeturningyourwealthtotheserviceofyourcountry。’
’Inwhatmanner？’saidtheArmenian。
’IhaveheardyousaythatthegrandoppressorofyourcountryisthePersian；whynotattempttofreeyourcountryfromhisoppression-youhavetwohundredthousandpounds，andmoneyisthesinewofwar？’
’Wouldyou，then，havemeattackthePersian？’
’Iscarcelyknowwhattosay；fightingisaroughtrade，andIambynomeanscertainthatyouarecalculatedforthescratch。ItisnoteveryonewhohasbeenbroughtupintheschoolofMr。
PetulengroandTawnoChikno。AllIcansayis，thatifIwereanArmenian，andhadtwohundredthousandpoundstobackme，IwouldattackthePersian。’
’Hem!’saidtheArmenian。
CHAPTERLI
Theonehalf-crown-Meritinpatience-Cementeroffriendship-
Dreadfulperplexity-Theusualguttural-Armenianletters-Muchindebtedtoyou-Purehelplessness-Dumbpeople。
ONEmorningongettingupIdiscoveredthatmywholeworldlywealthwasreducedtoonehalf-crown-throughoutthatdayIwalkedaboutinconsiderabledistressofmind；itwasnowrequisitethatI
shouldcometoaspeedydecisionwithrespecttowhatIwastodo；
Ihadnotmanyalternatives，and，beforeIhadretiredtorestonthenightofthedayinquestion，IhaddeterminedthatIcoulddonobetterthanacceptthefirstproposaloftheArmenian，andtranslateunderhissuperintendencetheHaikEsopintoEnglish。
Ireflected，forImadeavirtueofnecessity，that，afterall，suchanemploymentwouldbeanhonestandhonourableone；honest，inasmuchasbyengaginginitIshoulddoharmtonobody；
honourable，inasmuchasitwasaliterarytask，whichnoteveryonewascapableofexecuting。itwasnoteveryoneofthebooksellers’
writersofLondonwhowascompetenttotranslatetheHaikEsop。I
determinedtoaccepttheofferoftheArmenian。
OnceortwicethethoughtofwhatImighthavetoundergointhetranslationfromcertainpeculiaritiesoftheArmenian’stemperalmostunsettledme；butamechanicaldivingofmyhandintomypocket，andthefeelingofthesolitaryhalf-crown，confirmedme；
afterall，thiswasalifeoftrialandtribulation，andIhadreadsomewhereorotherthattherewasmuchmeritinpatience，soI
determinedtoholdfastinmyresolutionofacceptingtheofferoftheArmenian。
ButallofasuddenIrememberedthattheArmenianappearedtohavealteredhisintentionstowardsme：heappearednolongerdesirousthatIshouldrendertheHaikEsopintoEnglishforthebenefitofthestock-jobbersonExchange，butratherthatIshouldacquiretherudimentsofdoingbusinessintheArmenianfashion，andaccumulateafortune，whichwouldenablemetomakeafigureupon’Changewiththebestofthestock-jobbers。’Well，’thoughtI，withdrawingmyhandfrommypocket，whitherithadagainmechanicallydived，’afterall，whatwouldtheworld，whatwouldthiscity，bewithoutcommerce？Ibelievetheworld，andparticularlythiscity，wouldcutaverypoorfigurewithoutcommerce；andthenthereissomethingpoeticalintheideaofdoingbusinessaftertheArmenianfashion，dealingwithdark-facedLascarsandRabbinsoftheSephardim。Yes，shouldtheArmenianinsistuponit，Iwillacceptaseatatthedesk，oppositetheMoldavianclerk。IdonotliketheideaofcuffssimilartothosetheArmenianbestowedupontheMoldavianclerk；whatevermerittheremaybeinpatience，Idonotthinkthatmyestimationofthemeritofpatiencewouldbesufficienttoinducemetoremainquietlysittingundertheinflictionofcuffs。IthinkIshould，intheeventofhiscuffingme，knocktheArmeniandown。Well，IthinkIhavehearditsaidsomewhere，thataknock-downblowisagreatcementeroffriendship；IthinkIhaveheardoftwopeoplebeingbetterfriendsthaneveraftertheonehadreceivedfromtheotheraknock-downblow。’
ThatnightIdreamedIhadacquiredacolossalfortune，somefourhundredthousandpounds，bytheArmenianwayofdoingbusiness，butsuddenlyawokeindreadfulperplexityastohowIshoulddisposeofit。
Aboutnineo’clocknextmorningIsetofftothehouseoftheArmenian；Ihadnevercalleduponhimsoearlybefore，andcertainlyneverwithaheartbeatingwithsomucheagerness；butthesituationofmyaffairshadbecomeverycritical，andIthoughtthatIoughttolosenotimeininformingtheArmenianthatIwasatlengthperfectlywillingeithertotranslatetheHaikEsopunderhissuperintendence，ortoacceptaseatatthedeskoppositetotheMoldavianclerk，andacquirethesecretsofArmeniancommerce。
WithaquickstepIenteredthecounting-room，where，notwithstandingtheearlinessofthehour，Ifoundtheclerk，busiedasusualathisdesk。
Hehadalwaysappearedtomeasingularbeing，thissameMoldavianclerk。Apersonoffewerwordscouldscarcelybeconceived：
providedhismasterwereathome，hewould，onmyinquiring，nodhishead；and，providedhewerenot，hewouldinvariablyreplywiththemonosyllableNo，deliveredinastrangegutturaltone。Onthepresentoccasion，beingfullofeagernessandimpatience，Iwasabouttopassbyhimtotheapartmentabove，withoutmyusualinquiry，whenheliftedhisheadfromtheledgerinwhichhewaswriting，and，layingdownhispen，motionedtomewithhisforefinger，asiftoarrestmyprogress；whereuponIstopped，and，withapalpitatingheart，demandedwhetherthemasterofthehousewasathome。TheMoldavianclerkrepliedwithhisusualguttural，and，openinghisdesk，ensconcedhisheadtherein。
’Itdoesnotmuchmatter，’saidI；’IsupposeIshallfindhimathomeafter’Change；itdoesnotmuchmatter，Icanreturn。’
Iwasturningawaywiththeintentionofleavingtheroom；atthismoment，however，theheadoftheMoldavianclerkbecamevisible，andIobservedaletterinhishand，whichhehadinsertedinthedeskatthesametimewithhishead；thisheextendedtowardsme，makingatthesametimeasidelongmotionwithhishead，asmuchastosaythatitcontainedsomethingwhichinterestedme。
Itooktheletter，andtheMoldavianclerkforthwithresumedhisoccupation。Thebackoftheletterboremyname，writteninArmeniancharacters；withatremblinghandIbroketheseal，and，unfoldingtheletter，IbeheldseverallinesalsowritteninthelettersofMesroub，theCadmusoftheArmenians。
Istaredatthelines，andatfirstcouldnotmakeoutasyllableoftheirmeaning；atlast，however，bycontinuedstaring，I
discoveredthat，thoughtheletterswereArmenian，thewordswereEnglish；inabouttenminutesIhadcontrivedtodecipherthesenseoftheletter；itransomewhatinthisstyle：-
’MYDEARFRIEND-Thewordswhichyouutteredinourlastconversationhavemadeaprofoundimpressionuponme；Ihavethoughtthemoverdayandnight，andhavecometotheconclusionthatitismyboundendutytoattackthePersians。Whentheselinesaredeliveredtoyou，IshallbeontheroutetoArarat。A
mercantilespeculationwillbetotheworldtheostensiblemotiveofmyjourney，anditissingularenoughthatonewhichoffersconsiderableprospectofadvantagehasjustpresenteditselfontheconfinesofPersia。Thinknot，however，thatmotivesoflucrewouldhavebeensufficientlypowerfultotemptmetotheEastatthepresentmoment。Imayspeculate，itistrue，butIshouldscarcelyhaveundertakenthejourneybutforyourpungentwordsincitingmetoattackthePersians。DoubtnotthatIwillattackthemonthefirstopportunity。Ithankyouheartilyforputtingmeinmindofmyduty。Ihavehitherto，touseyourownwords，beentoofondofmoney-getting，likeallmycountrymen。Iammuchindebtedtoyou；farewell!andmayeveryprosperityawaityou。’
ForsometimeafterIhaddecipheredtheepistle，Istoodasifrootedtothefloor。Ifeltstunned-mylasthopewasgone；