第5章
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  Isupposeyouhavehadaslittletovexyousinceyoucameintothishouseasanycreatureintheworld。“

  “IhopeIamnotungrateful,aunt,“saidFannymodestly。

  “No,mydear;Ihopenot。Ihavealwaysfoundyouaverygoodgirl。“

  “AndamInevertolivehereagain?“

  “Never,mydear;butyouaresureofacomfortablehome。

  Itcanmakeverylittledifferencetoyou,whetheryouareinonehouseortheother。“

  Fannylefttheroomwithaverysorrowfulheart;shecouldnotfeelthedifferencetobesosmall,shecouldnotthinkoflivingwithherauntwithanythinglikesatisfaction。

  AssoonasshemetwithEdmundshetoldhimherdistress。

  “Cousin,“saidshe,“somethingisgoingtohappenwhichI

  donotlikeatall;andthoughyouhaveoftenpersuadedmeintobeingreconciledtothingsthatIdislikedatfirst,youwillnotbeabletodoitnow。IamgoingtoliveentirelywithmyauntNorris。“

  “Indeed!“

  “Yes;myauntBertramhasjusttoldmeso。Itisquitesettled。

  IamtoleaveMansfieldPark,andgototheWhiteHouse,Isuppose,assoonassheisremovedthere。“

  “Well,Fanny,andiftheplanwerenotunpleasanttoyou,Ishouldcallitanexcellentone。“

  “Oh,cousin!“

  “Ithaseverythingelseinitsfavour。Myauntisactinglikeasensiblewomaninwishingforyou。Sheischoosingafriendandcompanionexactlywheresheought,andIamgladherloveofmoneydoesnotinterfere。

  Youwillbewhatyououghttobetoher。Ihopeitdoesnotdistressyouverymuch,Fanny?“

  “Indeeditdoes:Icannotlikeit。Ilovethishouseandeverythinginit:Ishalllovenothingthere。

  YouknowhowuncomfortableIfeelwithher。“

  “Icansaynothingforhermannertoyouasachild;

  butitwasthesamewithusall,ornearlyso。Sheneverknewhowtobepleasanttochildren。Butyouarenowofanagetobetreatedbetter;Ithinksheisbehavingbetteralready;andwhenyouareheronlycompanion,you_must_beimportanttoher。“

  “Icanneverbeimportanttoanyone。“

  “Whatistopreventyou?“

  “Everything。Mysituation,myfoolishnessandawkwardness。“

  “Astoyourfoolishnessandawkwardness,mydearFanny,believeme,youneverhaveashadowofeither,butinusingthewordssoimproperly。Thereisnoreasonintheworldwhyyoushouldnotbeimportantwhereyouareknown。

  Youhavegoodsense,andasweettemper,andIamsureyouhaveagratefulheart,thatcouldneverreceivekindnesswithoutwishingtoreturnit。Idonotknowanybetterqualificationsforafriendandcompanion。“

  “Youaretookind,“saidFanny,colouringatsuchpraise;

  “howshallIeverthankyouasIought,forthinkingsowellofme。Oh!cousin,ifIamtogoaway,Ishallrememberyourgoodnesstothelastmomentofmylife。“

  “Why,indeed,Fanny,IshouldhopetoberememberedatsuchadistanceastheWhiteHouse。Youspeakasifyouweregoingtwohundredmilesoffinsteadofonlyacrossthepark;butyouwillbelongtousalmostasmuchasever。

  Thetwofamilieswillbemeetingeverydayintheyear。

  Theonlydifferencewillbethat,livingwithyouraunt,youwillnecessarilybebroughtforwardasyououghttobe。

  Heretherearetoomanywhomyoucanhidebehind;butwithheryouwillbeforcedtospeakforyourself。“

  “Oh!Idonotsayso。“

  “Imustsayit,andsayitwithpleasure。Mrs。Norrisismuchbetterfittedthanmymotherforhavingthechargeofyounow。Sheisofatempertodoagreatdealforanybodyshereallyinterestsherselfabout,andshewillforceyoutodojusticetoyournaturalpowers。“

  Fannysighed,andsaid,“Icannotseethingsasyoudo;

  butIoughttobelieveyoutoberightratherthanmyself,andIamverymuchobligedtoyoufortryingtoreconcilemetowhatmustbe。IfIcouldsupposemyauntreallytocareforme,itwouldbedelightfultofeelmyselfofconsequencetoanybody。_Here_,Iknow,Iamofnone,andyetIlovetheplacesowell。“

  “Theplace,Fanny,iswhatyouwillnotquit,thoughyouquitthehouse。Youwillhaveasfreeacommandoftheparkandgardensasever。Even_your_constantlittleheartneednottakefrightatsuchanominalchange。

  Youwillhavethesamewalkstofrequent,thesamelibrarytochoosefrom,thesamepeopletolookat,thesamehorsetoride。“

  “Verytrue。Yes,dearoldgreypony!Ah!cousin,whenI

  rememberhowmuchIusedtodreadriding,whatterrorsitgavemetohearittalkedofaslikelytodomegoodoh!howIhavetrembledatmyuncle’sopeninghislipsifhorsesweretalkedof,andthenthinkofthekindpainsyoutooktoreasonandpersuademeoutofmyfears,andconvincemethatIshouldlikeitafteralittlewhile,andfeelhowrightyouprovedtobe,Iaminclinedtohopeyoumayalwaysprophesyaswell。“

  “AndIamquiteconvincedthatyourbeingwithMrs。Norriswillbeasgoodforyourmindasridinghasbeenforyourhealth,andasmuchforyourultimatehappinesstoo。“

  Soendedtheirdiscourse,which,foranyveryappropriateserviceitcouldrenderFanny,mightaswellhavebeenspared,forMrs。Norrishadnotthesmallestintentionoftakingher。

  Ithadneveroccurredtoher,onthepresentoccasion,butasathingtobecarefullyavoided。Topreventitsbeingexpected,shehadfixedonthesmallesthabitationwhichcouldrankasgenteelamongthebuildingsofMansfieldparish,theWhiteHousebeingonlyjustlargeenoughtoreceiveherselfandherservants,andallowaspareroomforafriend,ofwhichshemadeaveryparticularpoint。

  ThespareroomsattheParsonagehadneverbeenwanted,buttheabsolutenecessityofaspareroomforafriendwasnowneverforgotten。Notallherprecautions,however,couldsaveherfrombeingsuspectedofsomethingbetter;

  or,perhaps,herverydisplayoftheimportanceofaspareroommighthavemisledSirThomastosupposeitreallyintendedforFanny。LadyBertramsoonbroughtthemattertoacertaintybycarelesslyobservingtoMrs。Norris——

  “Ithink,sister,weneednotkeepMissLeeanylonger,whenFannygoestolivewithyou。“

  Mrs。Norrisalmoststarted。“Livewithme,dearLadyBertram!whatdoyoumean?“

  “Isshenottolivewithyou?IthoughtyouhadsettleditwithSirThomas。“

  “Me!never。IneverspokeasyllableaboutittoSirThomas,norhetome。Fannylivewithme!thelastthingintheworldformetothinkof,orforanybodytowishthatreallyknowsusboth。Goodheaven!whatcouldIdowithFanny?

  Me!apoor,helpless,forlornwidow,unfitforanything,myspiritsquitebrokedown;whatcouldIdowithagirlathertimeoflife?Agirloffifteen!theveryageofallotherstoneedmostattentionandcare,andputthecheerfullestspiritstothetest!SureSirThomascouldnotseriouslyexpectsuchathing!SirThomasistoomuchmyfriend。Nobodythatwishesmewell,Iamsure,wouldproposeit。HowcameSirThomastospeaktoyouaboutit?“

  “Indeed,Idonotknow。Isupposehethoughtitbest。“

  “Butwhatdidhesay?Hecouldnotsayhe_wished_metotakeFanny。Iamsureinhishearthecouldnotwishmetodoit。“

  “No;heonlysaidhethoughtitverylikely;andIthoughtsotoo。Weboththoughtitwouldbeacomforttoyou。

  Butifyoudonotlikeit,thereisnomoretobesaid。

  Sheisnoencumbrancehere。“

  “Dearsister,ifyouconsidermyunhappystate,howcanshebeanycomforttome?HereamI,apoordesolatewidow,deprivedofthebestofhusbands,myhealthgoneinattendingandnursinghim,myspiritsstillworse,allmypeaceinthisworlddestroyed,withhardlyenoughtosupportmeintherankofagentlewoman,andenablemetolivesoasnottodisgracethememoryofthedeardeparted——

  whatpossiblecomfortcouldIhaveintakingsuchachargeuponmeasFanny?IfIcouldwishitformyownsake,Iwouldnotdosounjustathingbythepoorgirl。

  Sheisingoodhands,andsureofdoingwell。ImuststrugglethroughmysorrowsanddifficultiesasIcan。“

  “Thenyouwillnotmindlivingbyyourselfquitealone?“

  “LadyBertram,Idonotcomplain。IknowIcannotliveasIhavedone,butImustretrenchwhereIcan,andlearntobeabettermanager。I_have__been_

  aliberalhousekeeperenough,butIshallnotbeashamedtopractiseeconomynow。Mysituationisasmuchalteredasmyincome。AgreatmanythingswereduefrompoorMr。Norris,asclergymanoftheparish,thatcannotbeexpectedfromme。Itisunknownhowmuchwasconsumedinourkitchenbyoddcomersandgoers。

  AttheWhiteHouse,mattersmustbebetterlookedafter。

  I_must_livewithinmyincome,orIshallbemiserable;

  andIownitwouldgivemegreatsatisfactiontobeabletodorathermore,tolaybyalittleattheendoftheyear。“

  “Idaresayyouwill。Youalwaysdo,don’tyou?“

  “Myobject,LadyBertram,istobeofusetothosethatcomeafterme。Itisforyourchildren’sgoodthatI

  wishtobericher。Ihavenobodyelsetocarefor,butIshouldbeverygladtothinkIcouldleavealittletrifleamongthemworththeirhaving。“

  “Youareverygood,butdonottroubleyourselfaboutthem。

  Theyaresureofbeingwellprovidedfor。SirThomaswilltakecareofthat。“

  “Why,youknow,SirThomas’smeanswillberatherstraitenediftheAntiguaestateistomakesuchpoorreturns。“

  “Oh!_that_willsoonbesettled。SirThomashasbeenwritingaboutit,Iknow。“

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