第16章
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  Iturnedonhim,holdingit。’Whatareyoudoinghere?’Isaid。

  “Hehaddroppedhishandsandstoppedhisbooing,andtherehestood,abashedandawkward,theghostofaweak,silly,aimlessyoungman。

  ’I’mhaunting,’hesaid。

  “’Youhaven’tanybusinessto,’Isaidinaquietvoice。

  “’I’maghost,’hesaid,asifindefence。

  “’Thatmaybe,butyouhaven’tanybusinesstohaunthere。Thisisarespectableprivateclub;peopleoftenstopherewithnursemaidsandchildren,and,goingaboutinthecarelesswayyoudo,somepoorlittlemitecouldeasilycomeuponyouandbescaredoutofherwits。

  Isupposeyoudidn’tthinkofthat?’

  “’No,sir,’hesaid,’Ididn’t。’

  “’Youshouldhavedone。Youhaven’tanyclaimontheplace,haveyou?

  Weren’tmurderedhere,oranythingofthatsort?’

  “’None,sir;butIthoughtasitwasoldandoak-panelled——’

  “’That’sNOexcuse。’Iregardedhimfirmly。’Yourcominghereisamistake,’Isaid,inatoneoffriendlysuperiority。IfeignedtoseeifIhadmymatches,andthenlookedupathimfrankly。

  ’IfIwereyouIwouldn’twaitforcock-crow——I’dvanishrightaway。’

  “Helookedembarrassed。’ThefactIS,sir——’hebegan。

  “’I’dvanish,’Isaid,drivingithome。

  “’Thefactis,sir,that——somehow——Ican’t。’

  “’YouCAN’T?’

  “’No,sir。There’ssomethingI’veforgotten。I’vebeenhangingaboutheresincemidnightlastnight,hidinginthecupboardsoftheemptybedroomsandthingslikethat。I’mflurried。I’venevercomehauntingbefore,anditseemstoputmeout。’

  “’Putyouout?’

  “’Yes,sir。I’vetriedtodoitseveraltimes,anditdoesn’tcomeoff。

  There’ssomelittlethinghasslippedme,andIcan’tgetback。’

  “That,youknow,ratherbowledmeover。HelookedatmeinsuchanabjectwaythatforthelifeofmeIcouldn’tkeepupquitethehigh,hectoringveinIhadadopted。’That’squeer,’Isaid,andasIspokeIfanciedIheardsomeonemovingaboutdownbelow。

  ’Comeintomyroomandtellmemoreaboutit,’Isaid。’Ididn’t,ofcourse,understandthis,’andItriedtotakehimbythearm。

  But,ofcourse,youmightaswellhavetriedtotakeholdofapuffofsmoke!Ihadforgottenmynumber,Ithink;anyhow,Iremembergoingintoseveralbedrooms——itwasluckyIwastheonlysoulinthatwing——untilIsawmytraps。’Hereweare,’Isaid,andsatdowninthearm-chair;’sitdownandtellmeallaboutit。Itseemstomeyouhavegotyourselfintoajollyawkwardposition,oldchap。’

  “Well,hesaidhewouldn’tsitdown!he’dprefertoflitupanddowntheroomifitwasallthesametome。Andsohedid,andinalittlewhileweweredeepinalongandserioustalk。Andpresently,youknow,somethingofthosewhiskiesandsodasevaporatedoutofme,andIbegantorealisejustalittlewhatathunderingrumandweirdbusinessitwasthatIwasin。Therehewas,semi-transparent——

  theproperconventionalphantom,andnoiselessexceptforhisghostofavoice——flittingtoandfrointhatnice,clean,chintz-hungoldbedroom。Youcouldseethegleamofthecoppercandlesticksthroughhim,andthelightsonthebrassfender,andthecornersoftheframedengravingsonthewall,——andtherehewastellingmeallaboutthiswretchedlittlelifeofhisthathadrecentlyendedonearth。Hehadn’taparticularlyhonestface,youknow,butbeingtransparent,ofcourse,hecouldn’tavoidtellingthetruth。“

  “Eh?“saidWish,suddenlysittingupinhischair。

  “What?“saidClayton。

  “Beingtransparent——couldn’tavoidtellingthetruth——Idon’tseeit,“

  saidWish。

  “_I_don’tseeit,“saidClayton,withinimitableassurance。“ButitISso,Icanassureyounevertheless。Idon’tbelievehegotonceanail’sbreadthofftheBibletruth。Hetoldmehowhehadbeenkilled——hewentdownintoaLondonbasementwithacandletolookforaleakageofgas——anddescribedhimselfasaseniorEnglishmasterinaLondonprivateschoolwhenthatreleaseoccurred。“

  “Poorwretch!“saidI。

  “That’swhatIthought,andthemorehetalkedthemoreIthoughtit。

  Therehewas,purposelessinlifeandpurposelessoutofit。Hetalkedofhisfatherandmotherandhisschoolmaster,andallwhohadeverbeenanythingtohimintheworld,meanly。Hehadbeentoosensitive,toonervous;noneofthemhadevervaluedhimproperlyorunderstoodhim,hesaid。Hehadneverhadarealfriendintheworld,Ithink;hehadneverhadasuccess。Hehadshirkedgamesandfailedexaminations。’It’slikethatwithsomepeople,’hesaid;’wheneverIgotintotheexamination-roomoranywhereeverythingseemedtogo。’

  Engagedtobemarriedofcourse——toanotherover-sensitiveperson,I

  suppose——whentheindiscretionwiththegasescapeendedhisaffairs。

  ’Andwhereareyounow?’Iasked。’Notin——?’

  “Hewasn’tclearonthatpointatall。Theimpressionhegavemewasofasortofvague,intermediatestate,aspecialreserveforsoulstoonon-existentforanythingsopositiveaseithersinorvirtue。

  _I_don’tknow。Hewasmuchtooegotisticalandunobservanttogivemeanyclearideaofthekindofplace,kindofcountry,thereisontheOtherSideofThings。Whereverhewas,heseemstohavefalleninwithasetofkindredspirits:ghostsofweakCockneyyoungmen,whowereonafootingofChristiannames,andamongthesetherewascertainlyalotoftalkabout’goinghaunting’andthingslikethat。

  Yes——goinghaunting!Theyseemedtothink’haunting’atremendousadventure,andmostofthemfunkeditallthetime。Andsoprimed,youknow,hehadcome。“

  “Butreally!“saidWishtothefire。

  “Thesearetheimpressionshegaveme,anyhow,“saidClayton,modestly。

  “Imay,ofcourse,havebeeninaratheruncriticalstate,butthatwasthesortofbackgroundhegavetohimself。Hekeptflittingupanddown,withhisthinvoicegoingtalking,talkingabouthiswretchedself,andneverawordofclear,firmstatementfromfirsttolast。

  Hewasthinnerandsillierandmorepointlessthanifhehadbeenrealandalive。Onlythen,youknow,hewouldnothavebeeninmybedroomhere——ifheHADbeenalive。Ishouldhavekickedhimout。“

  “Ofcourse,“saidEvans,“thereAREpoormortalslikethat。“

  “Andthere’sjustasmuchchanceoftheirhavingghostsastherestofus,“Iadmitted。

  “Whatgaveasortofpointtohim,youknow,wasthefactthathedidseemwithinlimitstohavefoundhimselfout。Themesshehadmadeofhauntinghaddepressedhimterribly。Hehadbeentolditwouldbea’lark’;hehadcomeexpectingittobea’lark,’

  andhereitwas,nothingbutanotherfailureaddedtohisrecord!

  Heproclaimedhimselfanutterout-and-outfailure。Hesaid,andIcanquitebelieveit,thathehadnevertriedtodoanythingallhislifethathehadn’tmadeaperfectmessof——andthroughallthewastesofeternityheneverwould。Ifhehadhadsympathy,perhaps。Hepausedatthat,andstoodregardingme。Heremarkedthat,strangeasitmightseemtome,nobody,notanyone,ever,hadgivenhimtheamountofsympathyIwasdoingnow。Icouldseewhathewantedstraightaway,andIdeterminedtoheadhimoffatonce。Imaybeabrute,youknow,butbeingtheOnlyRealFriend,therecipientoftheconfidencesofoneoftheseegotisticalweaklings,ghostorbody,isbeyondmyphysicalendurance。Igotupbriskly。’Don’tyoubroodonthesethingstoomuch,’Isaid。’Thethingyou’vegottodoistogetoutofthisgetoutofthis——sharp。YoupullyourselftogetherandTRY。’’Ican’t,’hesaid。’Youtry,’Isaid,andtryhedid。“

  “Try!“saidSanderson。“HOW?“

  “Passes,“saidClayton。

  “Passes?“

  “Complicatedseriesofgesturesandpasseswiththehands。That’showhehadcomeinandthat’showhehadtogetoutagain。Lord!

  whatabusinessIhad!“

  “ButhowcouldANYseriesofpasses——?“Ibegan。

  “Mydearman,“saidClayton,turningonmeandputtingagreatemphasisoncertainwords,“youwantEVERYTHINGclear。_I_don’tknowHOW。AllIknowisthatyouDO——thatHEdid,anyhow,atleast。

  Afterafearfultime,youknow,hegothispassesrightandsuddenlydisappeared。“

  “Didyou,“saidSanderson,slowly,“observethepasses?“

  “Yes,“saidClayton,andseemedtothink。“Itwastremendouslyqueer,“

  hesaid。“Therewewere,Iandthisthinvagueghost,inthatsilentroom,inthissilent,emptyinn,inthissilentlittleFriday-nighttown。Notasoundexceptourvoicesandafaintpantinghemadewhenheswung。Therewasthebedroomcandle,andonecandleonthedressing-

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