Thirty-oneyearsatthedesk!Andtoshowforitahomeforhiswifeandhimself,adaughterinahomeofherown,asondeadforhiscountry,leavingbehindhimawifeandtwoladstocarrythename——wasitworthwhile?Yes,byJove,itwasworthitalltobeabletogiveamanlikeStephenWickestohiscountry。ForStephenWickeswasafinestalwartlad,agoodsoldier,steadyasarock,withapatient,cheerycouragethatnothingcoulddauntorbreak。
Butforaman’sselfwasitworthwhile?
Jackhadnothoughtofwifeandfamily。TherewasAdrien。Shehadbeenagreatpalbeforethewar,butsincehisreturnshehadseemeddifferent。Everyoneseemeddifferent。Thewarhadleftmanygaps,formerpalshadformedotherties,manyhadgonefromthetown。EvenAdrienhaddriftedawayfromtheoldcurrentsoflife。SheseemedtohavetakenupwithyoungStillwell,whomJackcouldn’tabide。StillwellhadbeenturneddownbytheRecruitingOfficerduringthewar——flatfeet,orsomething。True,hehaddonegreatserviceinRedCross,PatrioticFund,VictoryLoanwork,andthatsortofthing,andapparentlystoodhighintheCommunity。
Hisfatherhaddoubledthesizeofhisstoreandhadbeenagreatforceinallpublicwarwork。Hehadsparedneitherhimselfnorhisson。TheelderStillwell,highupintheProvincialPoliticalworld,sawtoitthathissonwasonallthebigProvincialWarCommittees。Ruperthadalltheshrewdforesightandbusinessabilityofhisfather,whichwassayingagooddeal。Hebegantoassumetheroleofapromisingyoungcapitalist。Thesourcesofhisincomenooneknew——fortunateinvestments,peoplesaid。AndhisHudsonSixstoodattheRectorygateeveryday。Well,notevenforAdrienwouldJackhavechangedplaceswithRupertStillwell。
ForJackMaitlandheldtheextremeand,incertaincircles,unpopularcreedthatthecitizenwhocamericheroutofawarwhichhadlefthiscountrysubmergedindebt,andwhichhaddrainedawayitsbestbloodandleftitpoorerinitsmanhoodbywell-nighseventythousandofitsnoblestyouthleftuponthebattlefieldsofthevariouswarfrontsandbythehundredsofthousandswhowouldgothroughlifeaburdentothemselvesandtothosetowhomtheyshouldhavebeenasupport——thatcitizenwasaccursed。IfAdrienchosetobeafriendofsuchaman,bythatchoicesheclassifiedherselfasimpossibleoffriendshipforJack。Ithadhurtabit。
Butwhatwasonehurtmoreorlesstoonewhomthewarhadleftnumbinheartandbereftofambition?Hewasnotgoingtopityhimself。Hewasluckyindeedtohavehisbodyandnervestillsoundandwhole,buttheyneednotexpecthimtoshowanygreatkeennessinthechaseforafewmorethousandsthatwouldonlyrankhimamongthoseforwhomthewarhadnotdonesobadly。Meantime,forhisfather’ssake,who,thankGod,hadgivenhisbest,hisheart’sbestandthebestofhisbrainandofhissplendidbusinessgeniustohiscountry,hewouldcarryon,withnootherrewardthanthatofservicerendered。
Theystoodtogetherbytheopenfireinthestudy,Jackandhisfather,alikeinmanywaysyetproducingeffectsverydifferent。
Theyoungermanhadthephysicalmakeupoftheolder,thoughofaslightermould。Theyhadthesamehigh,proudlookofconsciousstrength,ofcoolfearlessnessthatnothingcouldfluster。Butthesoulthatlookedoutofthegreyeyesofthesonwasquiteanotherfromthatwhichlookedoutofthedeepblueeyesofthefather——
yet,afterall,thedifferencemaynothavebeeninessencebutonlythattheolderman’ssoulhadlearnedinlife’sexperiencetolookoutonlythroughaveil。
Thesouloftheyouthwaseager,adventurous,stillbelieving,yetwithacertainquestioningandatouchofweariness,aresultoftheaftermathofpeacefollowingthreeyearsofwar。Therewasstill,however,theout-lookingforfarhorizons,theoutreachingimagination,theHeavengivenexpectationoftheInfinite。Intheolderman’seyedweltchieflyreserve。Theveilwasalwaysthereexceptwhenhefounditwiseandusefultodrawitaside。Ifevertheinnerlightflamedforthitwaswhenthemansochose。Self-
mastery,shrewdness,power,knowledge,layinthedarkblueeyes,andallatthesoul’scommand。
Butto-nightasthefather’seyesresteduponhissonwhostoodgazingintoandthroughtheblazingfirethereweretobeseenonlyprideandwistfullove。Butasthesonturnedhiseyestowardhisfathertheveilfellandtheeyesthatansweredwerequiet,shrewd,keenandchieflykind。
Thetalkhadpassedbeyondthecommonplaceoftheday’sdoings。
Theywereamongthebigthings,thefatefulthing——LifeandItsWorth,WorkandItsWages,CreativeIndustryandItsProduct,CapitalandItsPrice,ManandHisRights。
Theywerefrankwitheachother。Thewarhaddonethatforthem。
Foreversincethenightwhenhiseighteen-year-oldboyhadwalkedintohisdenandsaid,“Father,Iameighteen,“andstoodlookingintohiseyesandwaitingforthewordthatcamestraightandunhesitating,“Iknow,boy,youaremysonandyoumustgo,forI
cannot,“eversincethatnight,whichseemednowtobelongtoanotherage,thesetwohadfacedeachotherasmen。Nowtheyweretalkingabouttheyoungman’slifework。
“Frankly,Idon’tlikeit,Dad,“saidtheson。
“Easytoseethat,Jack。“
“I’mreallysorry。I’mafraidanyonecanseeit。ButsomehowI
can’tputmuchpepintoit。“
“Why?“askedthefather,withcurtabruptness。
“Why?Well,Ihardlyknow。Somehowithardlyseemsworthwhile。
Itisnotthegrindoftheoffice,thoughthatisconsiderable。I
couldstickthat,but,afterall,what’stheuse?“
“Whatwouldyouratherdo,Jack?“enquiredhisfatherpatiently,asiftalkingtoachild。“Youtriedforthemedicalprofession,youknow,and——“
“Iknow,Iknow,youarequiterightaboutit。Youmaythinkitpurelaziness。Maybeitis,butIhardlythinkso。PerhapsIwentbacktolecturestoosoonafterthewar。Iwashardlyfit,I
guess,andthewholething,theinsidelife,theinfernalgrindoflectures,theidioticseriousmummeryoftheyoungsters,thoseblessedkidswhoshouldhavebeenspankedbytheirmothers——thewholethingsickenedmeinthreemonths。IfIhadwaitedperhapsI
mighthavedonebetteratthething。Idon’tknow——hardtotell。“
Theboypaused,lookingintothefire。
“Itwasmyfault,boy,“saidthefatherhastily。“Ioughttohavefiguredthethingoutdifferently。But,yousee,Ihadnoknowledgeofwhatyouhadgonethroughandofitseffectuponyou。
Iknowbetternow。Ithoughtthattheharderyouwentintotheworkthebetteritwouldbeforyou。Imadeamistake。“
“Well,youcouldn’ttell,Dad。Howcouldyou?ButeverythingwassodifferentwhenIcameback。Merekidswerecarryingonwherewehadbeen,anddoingitwell,too,byJove,andwedidn’tseemtobeneeded。“
“Needed,boy?“Thefather’svoicewasthick。
“Yes,butIdidn’tseethatthen。Selfish,Ifear。Then,youknow,homewasnotthesame——“
Theoldermanchokedbackagroanandleanedhardagainstthemantel。
“Iknow,Dad,IcanseenowIwasselfish——“
“Selfish?Don’tsaythat,mylad。Selfish?Afterallyouhadgonethrough?No,Ishallneverapplythatwordtoyou,butyou——
youdon’tseemtorealise——“Thefatherhesitatedafewmoments,then,asiftakingaplunge:
“Youdon’trealisejusthowbigathing——howbiganinvestmentthereisinthatbusinessdownthere。“Hishandswepttowardthewindowthroughwhichcouldbeseenthelightsofthatpartofthetownwhichclusteredaboutthevariousmillsandfactoriesofwhichhewasowner。
“Iknowthereisalot,Dad,buthowmuchIdon’tknow。“
“There’s$250,000inplantalone,boy,butthere’smorethanmoney,alotmorethanmoney——“Then,afterapause,asiftohimself,“A
lotmorethanmoney——there’sbrainsweatandheartagonyandprayersandtears——and,yes,life,boy,yourmother’slifeandmine。Weworkedandsavedandprayedandplanned——“
Hesteppedquicklytowardthewindow,drewasidethecurtainandpointedtoadarkmassofheadlandbeyondthetwinklinglights。
“YouseetheBluffthere。FiftyyearsagoIstoodwithmyfatheronthatBluffandwatchedthelogscomedowntherivertothesawmill——hissawmill,intowhichhehadputhistotalcapital,fivehundreddollars。Irememberwellhiswords,’Myson,ifyouliveoutyourlifeyouwillseeonthatflatatownwherethousandsofmenandwomenwillfindhomesand,pleaseGod,happiness。’YourmotherandIwatchedthattowngrowforfortyyears,andwetriedtomakepeoplehappy——atleast,iftheywerenotitwasnofaultofhers。Ofcourse,otherhandshavebeenattheworksincethen,butherhandsandminemorethananyother,andmorethanallotherstogetherwereinit,andherheart,too,wasinitall。“
Theboyturnedfromthewindowandsatdownheavilyinadeeparmchair,hishandscoveringhisface。HisheartwasstillsickwiththeachethathadsmittenitthatdayinfrontofAmienswhentheColonel,hisfather’sfriend,hadsentforhimandreadhimthewirewhichhadbroughttheterriblemessageofhismother’sdeath。
Thelongmonthsofdaysandnightsheavywithwatching,toiling,praying,agonising,forhertwinsons,andforthemanyboyswhohadgoneoutfromthelittletownworeouthernonetoorobuststrength。Then,thesniper’sbulletthathadpiercedtheheartofherboyseemedtoreachtoherheartaswell。Afterthat,thehomethatoncehadbeentoitsdwellersthemostcompletelyheart-
satisfyingspotinalltheworldbecameaplaceofdread,ofhauntingghosts,ofacutelypoignantmemories。Theyusedthehouseforsleepinginandforeatingin,buttherewasnolivinginitlonger。Tothemitwasatomb,thoughneitherwouldacknowledgeitandeachborewithitfortheother’ssake。
“Honestly,Dad,IwishIcouldmakeitgo,foryoursake——“
“Formysake,boy?Why,IhaveallofitIcarefor。Notformysake。Butwhatelsecanwedobutstickit?“
“Isupposeso——butforHeaven’ssakegivemesomethingworthaman’sdoing。IfIcouldtackleajobsuchasyouand“——theboywinced——“youandmothertookonIbelieveI’dtryit。Butthatoffice!Anyfoolcouldsitinmyplaceandcarryon。Itislikethejobtheyusedtogivetothecrocksortheslackersatthebasetodo。Givemeaman’sjob。“
Thefather’skeenblueeyeslookedhissonover。
“Aman’sjob?“hesaid,withagrimsmile,realisingashissondidnothowmuchofaman’sjobitwas。“SupposeyoulearnthisoneasIdid?“
“Whatdoyoumean,Dad,exactly?Howdidyoubegin?“
“I?Atthetailofthesaw。“
“Allright,I’mgame。“
“Boy,youareright——Ibelieveinmysoulyouareright。Youdidaman’sjob’outthere’andyouhaveitinyoutodoaman’sjobagain。“
Thesonshruggedhisshoulders。Nextmorningatseventheyweredownattheplaningmillwheremenweredoingmen’swork。Hewasataman’sjob,atthetailofasaw,anddrawingaman’spay,rubbingshoulderswithmenonequalterms,ashehadinthetrenches。AndforthefirsttimesinceArmisticeDay,ifnothappyorsatisfied,hewascontenttocarryon。
SamWigglesworthhadfinishedwithschool,whichisnotquitethesameassayingthathehadfinishedhiseducation。Anumberofcauseshadcombinedtobringthiseventtopass。First,SamwasbeyondtheageofcompulsoryattendanceatthePublicSchool,theSchoolRegisterrecordinghimassixteenyearsold。Then,Sam’seducationalcareerhadbeenanythingbutbrilliant。Indeed,itmightfairlybedescribedasdull。Allhislifehehadbeenbehindhisclass,thebiggestboyinhisclass,whichfactmighthavebeentoSamaconstantcauseofhumiliationhadhenotheldasoftheslightestmomentmerelyacademicachievements。OneunpleasanteffectwhichthisfacthaduponSam’smoralqualitywasthatittendedtomakehimabully。Hewasphysicallythesuperiorofallinhisclass,andthissuperiorityheexertedforwhathedeemedthedisciplineofyoungerandweakerboys,whoexcelledhiminintellectualattainment。
Furthermore,Sam,whilequitereadytoenforcethecodeofdisciplinewhichheconsideredsuitabletothesmallerandweakerboysinhisclass,resentedandresistedtheattemptsofconstitutedauthoritytoenforcedisciplineinhisowncase,withtheresultthatSam’seducationalcareerwas,aftermuchlongsuffering,abruptlyterminatedbytheactionofthelong-sufferinghead,AlexDay。
“WithgreatregretImustreport,“hislettertotheSchoolBoardran,“thatinthecaseofSamuelWigglesworthIhavesomehowfailedtoinculcatetheelementaryprinciplesofobediencetoschoolregulationsandofadherencetotruthinspeech。Iamfreetoacknowledge,“wentontheletter,“thatthedefectmaybeinmyselfasmuchasintheboy,buthavingfailedinwinninghimtoobedienceandtruth-telling,IfeelthatwhileIremainmasteroftheschoolImustdeclinetoallowtheinfluenceofthisyouthtocontinueintheschool。Awhole-heartedpenitenceforhismanyoffencesandanearnestpurposetoreformwouldinducemetogivehimafurthertrial。IntheabsenceofeitherpenitenceorpurposetoreformImustregretfullyadviseexpulsion。“
JoyfullytheSchoolBoard,whohadformonthsurgeduponthereluctantheadthisaction,acquiescedinthecoursesuggested,andSamuelwasforthwithexpelled,tohisownunmitigatedreliefbuttohisfather’sredandragingindignationatwhathetermedthe“hignorantpersecutionoftheirbettersbythesehinsolentColonials,“for“’isson’ad’adtheadvantagesofschoolsofthe’igheststandin’inHEngland。“