第63章
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  Rather,hewasasnow-whitedove,thoughnonebutIrealisedthefact。Andnowhehasbeenwithdrawnfromthe’grievousbondageofPharaoh。’OnlyIamleft。Verily,aftermypassing,shallmysoultormentandvomitspittleuponhisadversaries!“

  “Haveyouknownmuchsorrow?“

  Thedeacondidnotreplyatonce。Whenhedidsohesaiddully:

  “Allofushaveknownmuchsorrow。Insomecaseswehaveknownmorethanwasrightfullyourdue。Icertainly,haveknownmuch。

  Butgotosleep,foronlyinsleepdowerecoverwhatisours。“

  Andheaddedashetrippedoverhisownfeet,andlurchedheavilyagainstme:

  “Ihavealongingtosingsomething。YetIfeelthatIhadbestnot,forsongatsuchanhourawakensfolk,andstartsthembawling……ButbeyondallthingswouldIgladlysing。“

  Withwhichhebuzzedintomyear:

  “TowhomshallIsingofmygrief?

  Towhomresortforrelief?

  TotheOneinwhoseha-a-and——“

  Atthispointthesharpbristlesofhisbeardsotickledmyneckastocausemetoedgefurtheraway。

  “Youdonotlikeme?“hequeried。“Thengotosleep,andtothedeviltoo!“

  “Itwasyourbeardthatwasticklingme。“

  “Indeed?OughtItohaveshavedforyourbenefitbeforeIcame?“

  Hereflectedawhile——thensubsidedontothefloorwithasniffandanangryexclamationof:

  “Read,you,whilstIsleep。Andseetoitthatyoudonotmakeoffwiththebook,foritbelongstothechurch,andisveryvaluable。Yes。Iknowyouhard-ups!Whydoyougoroamingaboutasyoudo——whatisityouhopetogainbyyourtramping?……

  However,trampasmuchasyoulike。Yes,beoff,andtellpeoplethatadeaconhascomebymisfortune,andisinneedofsomegoodpersontotakepityuponhisplight……DiomidKubasovmynameis——thatofamanlostbeyondrecall。“

  Withwhichhefellasleep。Openingthebookatrandom,Ireadthewords:

  “Alandunapportionedthatshallproduceanourisherofhumanity,abeingthatshallputforththebountyofhishandtofeedeverycreature。“

  “Anourisherofhumanity。“Beforemyeyesthat“nourisher“layoutspread,anourisheroverlaidwithdryandfragrantherbage。

  AndasIgazed,inthehazeofavision,uponthatnourisher’sdarkandenigmaticalface,Isawalsothethousandsofmenwhohaveseamedthisearthwithfurrows,totheendthatdeadthingsshouldbecomethingsoflife。Andinparticular,thereuprosebeforemeapicturestrangeindeed。InthatpictureIsawmarchingoverthesteppe,wheretheexpanselaybareandvoid——yes,marchingincirclesthatincreasinglyembracedawideningarea——agigantic,thousand-handedbeinginwhosetrainthedeadsteppegathereduntoitselfvitality,andbecameswathedinjuicy,wavingverdure,andstuddedwithtownsandvillages。Andever,asthebeingrecededfurtherandfurtherintothedistance,couldI

  seehimsowingwithtirelesshandsthatwhichhadinitlife,andwaspartofhimself,andhumanas,withthoughtsintentuponthebenefitingofhumanity,hesummonedallmentoputforththemysteriousforcethatisinthem,andthustoconquerdeath,andeternallyandinvinciblytoconvert,deadthingsintothingsoflife,whiletraversingincompanytheroadofdeathtowardsthatwhichhasnoknowledgeofdeath,andensuringthat,inswallowingupmankind,thejawsofdeathshouldnotcloseupondeath’svictims。

  Andthiscausedmyhearttobeatwithemotionsthepulsingwingsofwhichatoncegladdenedme,andcooledmyfervour……Andhowgreatly,atthatmoment,didIfeeltheneedofsomeoneabletorespondtomyquestionswithoutpassion,yetwithtruth,andinthelanguageofsimplicity!Forbesidemetherelaybutamandeadandamandrunken,whilewithoutthethresholdtherewasstationedonewhohadfaroutlivedherspanofyears。Nomatter,however。Ifnottoday,thentomorrow,shouldIfindafellow-

  creaturewithwhommysoulmightcommune。

  MentallyIleftthehut,andpassedontothesteppe,thatI

  mightcontemplatethencethelittledwellinginwhichalone,thoughlostamidtheearth’simmensity,thewindowswerenotblindandblackasinitsfellowhuts,butshowed,burningovertheheadofadeadhumanbeing,thefirewhichhumanityhadconqueredforhumanity’sbenefit。

  Andthatheartwhichhadceasedtobeatinthedeadman——hadeverythingconceivedinlifebythatheartfounddueexpressioninaworldpoverty,strickenofheart-conceivedideas?Iknewthatthemanjustpassedawayhadbeenbutaplainandinsignificantmortal,yetasIreflecteduponeventhelittlethathehaddone,hislabourloomedbeforemeasgreaterthanprowessoflargermagnitude。Yes,tomymindthererecurredtheimmature,batteredearsofcornlyingintherutsofthesteppetrack,theswallowstraversingtheblueskyabovethegolden,brocadedgrain,thekitehoveringinthevoidoverthelandscape’svastperiphery。

  Andalongwiththesethoughts,therestruckuponmyearsawhistlingofpinionsastheshadowofabirdflittedacrossthebrilliant,dew-bespangledgreenoftheforecourt,andfivecockscrowedinsuccession,andaflockofgeeseannouncedthefactoftheirawakening,andacowlowed,andthegateofthecattle-pencreaked。

  AndwiththatIfelltothinkinghowIshouldlikereallytogooutontothesteppe,andtheretofallasleepunderawarm,drybank。

  Asforthedeacon,hewasstillslumberingatmyfeet——slumberingwithhisbreast,thebreastofaprize-fighter,turneduppermost,andhisfine,goldenshockofhairfallinglikeanimbusaroundhishead,andhot,fat,flushedredfeaturesandgapingmouthandceaselesslytwitchingmoustache。Inpassing,Ihadnoticedthathishandswerelong,andthattheyweresetuponshovel-shapedwrists。

  NextIfoundmyselfimaginingthesceneasthepowerfulfigureofthismanembracedawoman。Probablyherfacewouldbecomelosttosightinhisbeard,untilnothingofherfeaturesremainedvisible。Then,whenthebeardbegantotickleher,shewouldthrowbackherhead,andlaugh。Andthechildrenthatsuchamanmighthavebegotten!

  Allthisonlymadeitthemorepainfulanddisagreeabletometoreflectthatthebreastofahumanbeingofsuchatypeshouldbebearingaburdenofsorrow。Surelynaughtbutjoyshouldhavebeenpresenttherein!

  Meanwhile,theoldwoman’sgentlefacewasstillpeeringatmethroughthedoorway,andpresentlythefirstbeamofsunlightcameglancingthroughthewindow-space。Abovetherivulet’ssilkyglimmer,atransparentmistlaysteaming,whiletreesandherbagealikewerepassingthroughthatcuriouslyinertstagewhenatanymomentsoonefanciedtheymightgivethemselvesashake,andburstintosong,andinkeysintelligibletothesoulalone,setforththewondrousmysteryoftheirexistence。

  “Whatagoodmanheis!“theoldwomanwhisperedplaintivelyasshegazedatthedeacon’sgiganticframe。Whereafter,asthoughreadingaloudfromabookinvisibletomysight,sheproceededquietlyandsimplytorelatethestoryofhiswife。

  “Yousee,“shewenton“hisladycommittedacertainsinwithacertainman;andfolkremarkedthis,and,aftersettingthehusbandontothecouple,deridedhim——yes,him,ourDemid!——forthereasonthathepersistedinforgivingthewomanherfault。Atlengththejeersmadehertaketoherroomandhimtoliquor,andfortwoyearspasthehasbeendrinking,andsoonisgoingtobedeprivedofhisoffice。Onewhoscarcelydrankatall,mypoorhusband,usedtosay:’Ah,Demid,yieldnottothesefolk,butliveyourownlife,andlettheirsbetheirs,andyours,yours。’“

  Withthewords,tearswelledfromtheoldwoman’sdim,smalleyes,andbecamemergedwiththefoldsandwrinklesonhergrief-

  stainedcheeks。Andinthepresenceofthatlittlehead,aheadshakinglikeadeadleafintheautumntime,andofthosekindlyfeaturessowornwithageandsorrow,myeyesfell,andIfeltsmittenwithshametofindthat,onsearchingmysoulforatleastawordofconsolationtooffertothepoorfellow-mortalbeforeme,Icoulddiscovernonethatseemedsuitable。

  ButatlengththererecurredtomymindsomestrangewordswhichIhadencounteredinIknownotwhatantiquevolume——wordswhichran:

  “LetnottheservantsoftheGodslamentbut,rather,rejoice,inthatweepingandlamentationgrieveboththeGodsandmankind。“

  Thereafter,Imutteredconfusedly:

  “ItistimethatIwasgoing。“

  “What?“washerhastyexclamation,anexclamationutteredasthoughthewordshadaffrightedher。Whereafter,withquiveringlips,shebeganhesitantlyanduncertainlytofumbleinherbodice。

  “No,Ihavenoneedofmoney,“Iinterposed。“Only,ifyoushouldbesowilling,givemeapieceofbread。“

  “Youhavenoneedofmoney?“shere-echoeddubiously。

  “No,none。Forthatmatter,ofwhatusecoulditbetome?“

  “Well,well!“shesaidafterathoughtfulpause。“Thenbeitasyouwish,and——andIthankyou。“

  Thesun,asheroseandascendedtowardstheblueofthefirmament,wasspreadingovertheearthabraggart,peacock-liketailofbeams。Andashedidso,Iwinkedathim,forbyexperienceIknewthatsometwohourslaterhissmileswouldbescorchingmewithfire。YetforthetimebeingheandIhadnofaulttofindwithoneanother。Wherefore,IsetmyselftosearchforabankwhenceImightsingtohim,astotheLordofLife:

  0hThouofintangiblesubstance,Revealnowthatsubstancetome!

  EnwrapmewithinthegreatvestmentOflightwhichencompassethThee!

  ThatwithThyuprising,mysubstanceMayComeall-prevailingtobe!

  “Letusliveourlivesuntoourselves。Lettheirsbetheirs,andours,ours。“

  End

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