第58章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Through Russia",免费读到尾

  Kalinin’ssmallfacehadbecomepainfullycontracted,andgrownoldandhaggard-looking。Rollingoverontohisbreastbeforethelanguishingfire,hewavedahandtodissipatethesmokewhichwaslazilydriftingslant-wise。

  “ForseventeendaysdidIremainstretchedonasick-bed,andwasattendedbythedoctorinperson。Oneday,whensittingbymyside,heinquired:

  “’Ipresumeyourintentionwastopoisonyourself,youfoolishfellow?’

  “Yes,merelyTHATwaswhathecalledme——a’foolishfellow。’Yetindeed,whatwasItohim?Onlyanentitywhichmightbecomefoodfordogs,forallhecared。NordidValentinaIgnatievnaherselfpaymeasinglevisit,andmyeyesneveragainbeheldher。BeforelongsheandDr。Kliachkaweredulymarried,anddepartedtoKharkov,wherehewasassignedapostintheTchuguerskiCamp。

  ThusonlytheGeneralremained。Roughandready,hewas,nevertheless,oldandsensible,andforthatreason,didnotmatter;whereforeIretainedmysituationasbefore。Onmyrecovery,hesentforme,andsaidinatoneofreproof:

  “’Lookhere。Youarenotwhollyanidiot。Whathashappenedisthatthosevilebooksofyourshavecorruptedyourmind’asamatteroffact,Ihadneverreadabookinmylife,sinceforreadingIhavenoloveorinclination。’Henceyoumusthaveseenforyourselfthatonlyintalesdoclownsmarryprincesses。Youknow,lifeislikeagameofchess。Everypiecehasitspropermoveontheboard,orthegamecouldnotbeplayedatall。’“

  Kalininrubbedhishandsoverthefireslender,non-workmanlikehandstheywere,andwinkedandsmiled。

  “ItooktheGeneral’swordsveryseriously,andproceededtoaskmyself:’Towhatdothosewordsamount?Tothis:thatthoughI

  maynotcareactuallytotakepartinthegame,Ineednotwastemywholeexistencethroughadisinclinationtolearnthebestusetowhichthatexistencecanbeput。’

  Withatriumphantupliftoftone,Kalinincontinued:

  “So,brother,IsetmyselftoWATCHthegameinquestion;withtheresultthatsoonIdiscoveredthatthemajorityofmenlivesurroundedwithahostofsuperfluouscommoditieswhichdobutburdenthem,andhaveinthemselvesnorealvalue。WhatIrefertoisbooks,pictures,china,andrubbishofthesamesort。

  ThoughtItomyself:’WhyshouldIdevotemylifetotendinganddustingsuchcommoditieswhilerisking,allthetime,theirbreakage?Nomoreofitforme!Wasitforthetendingofsucharticlesthatmymotherboremeamidtheagoniesofchildbirth?

  IsitanexistenceofTHISkindthatmustbepasseduntilthetombbereached?No,no——athousandtimesno!RatherwillI,withyourgoodleave,rejectaltogetherthegameoflife,andsubsistasmaybebestforme,andasmayhappentobemypleasure。’“

  Now,asKalininspoke,hiseyesemittedgreensparks,andashewavedhishandsoverthefire,asthoughtolopofftheredtonguesofflame,hisfingerstwistedconvulsively。

  “Ofcourse,notallatastrokedidIarriveatthisconclusion;

  Ididsobutgradually。ThepersonwhofinallyconfirmedmeinmyopinionwasafriarofBaku,asageofpre-eminentwisdom,throughhissayingtome:’Withnothingatalloughtamantofetterhissoul。Neitherwithbond-service,norwithproperty,norwithwomankind,norwithanyotherconcessiontothetemptationsofthisworldoughthetoconstrainitsaction。

  Ratheroughthetolivealone,andtolovenonebutChrist。Onlythisistrue。Onlythiswillbeforeverlasting。’

  “And,“addedKalininwithanimationandinflatedcheeksandflushed,suppressedenthusiasm,“manylandsandmanypeopleshaveIseen,andalwayshaveIfoundparticularlyinRussia

  thatmanyfolkalreadyhavereachedanunderstandingofthemselves,and,consequently,refusedanylongertorenderobeisancetoabsurdities。’Shunevil,andyouwillevolvegood。’

  Thatiswhatthefriarsaidtomeasapartingword——thoughlongbeforeourencounterhadIgraspedthemeaningoftheaxiom。AndthataxiomImyselfhavesincepassedontootherfolk,asIhopetodoyetmanytimesinthefuture。“

  Atthispointthespeaker’stonerevertedtooneofquerulousanxiety。

  “Lookhowlowthesunhassunk!“heexclaimed。

  Trueenough,thatluminary,largeandround,wasdeclininginto——

  rather,towards——thesea,whilesuspendedbetweenhimandthewaterwerelow,dark,white-toppedcumuli。

  “Soonnightfallwillbeovertakingus,“continuedKalininashefumbledinhiskaftan。“Andinthesepartsjackalshowlwhendarknessiscome。“

  InparticulardidInoticethreecloudsthatlookedlikeTurksinwhiteturbansandrobesofaduskyredcolour。AndasthesecloudTurksbenttheirheadstogetherinprivateconverse,suddenlythereswelleduponthebackofoneofthefiguresahump,whileontheturbanofasecondtheresproutedforthapalepinkfeatherwhich,becomingdetachedfromitsbase,wentfloatingupwardstowardsthezenithandthenowrayless,despondent,moonlikesun。LastlythethirdTurkstoopedforwardovertheseatoscreenhiscompanions,andashedidso,developedahugerednosewhichcomicallyseemedtodiptowards,andsniffat,thewaters。

  “Sometimes,“continuedKalinin’sevenvoicethroughthecracklingandhissingofthewoodfire,“amanwhoisoldandblindmaycobbleashoebetterthancleverermenthanhe,canordertheirwholelives。“

  ButnolongerdidIdesiretolistentoKalinin,forthethreadswhichhaddrawnme,boundme,tohispersonalityhadnowparted。

  AllthatIdesiredtodowastocontemplateinsilencethesea,whilethinkingofsomeofthosesubjectswhichateventideneverfailtostirthesoultogentle,kindlyemotion。Bombers,Kalinin’swordscontinueddrippingintomyearlikebelatedraindrops。

  “Nowadayseverybodyisabusybody。Nowadayseveryoneinquiresofhisfellow-man,’Howisyourlifeordered?’Towhichalwaysthereisaddeddidactically,’Butyououghtnottoliveasyouaredoing。Letmeshowyoutheway。’Asthoughanyonecantellmehowbestmylifemayattainfulldevelopment,seeingthatnoonecanpossiblyhavesuchamatterwithinhisknowledge!Nay,leteverymanliveasbesthepleases,withoutcompulsion。Forinstance,Ihavenoneedofyou。Inreturn,itisnotyourbusinesseithertorequireortoexpectaughtofme。AndthisI

  saythoughFatherVitalisaysthecontrary,andaversthatthroughoutshouldmanwarwiththeevilsoftheworld。“

  Inthevague,widefirmamentablood-redclusterofcloudswashanging,andasIcontemplateditthereoccurredtomethethought,“Maynotthosecloudsbeerstwhilerighteousworld-folkwhoarefollowinganunseenpathacrossthatexpanse,anddyeingitredwiththeirgoodbloodastheygo,inorderthattheearthmaybefertilised?“

  Torightandleftofthatstripoflivingflametheseawasofacuriouswinetint,whilefurtheroff,rather,itwasassoftandblackasvelvet,andintheremoteeastsheet-lightningwasflashingevenasthoughsomegianthandwerefruitlesslyendeavouringtostrikeamatchagainstthesoddenfirmament。

  MeanwhileKalinincontinuedtodiscoursewithenthusiasmonthesubjectofFatherVitali,theLabourSuperintendentofthemonasteryofNewAthos,whiledescribingindetailthemonk’sjovial,cleverfeatureswiththeirpearlyteethandcontrastingblackandsilverbeard。InparticularherelatedhowonceVitalihadknittedhisfine,almostwomanlikeeyes,andsaidinabasswhichstressedits“o’s“:

  “Onourfirstarrivalhere,wefoundinpossessiononlyprehistoricchaosanddemoniacalinfluence。Everywherehadclingingweedsgrowntorankness;everywhereonefoundone’sfeetentangledamongbindweedandothervegetationofthesort。Andnowseewhatbeautyandjoyandcomfortthehandofmanhaswrought!“

  And,havingthusspoken,themonkhadtracedagreatcirclewithhiseyeanddoughtyhand,acirclewhichhadembracedasinaframethemount,andthegardensfashionedanddevelopedbyridgingsoftherock,andthedownysoilwhichhadbeenbeatenintothoseridgings,andthesilverstreakofwaterfallplayingalmostatVitali’sfeet,andthestone-hewnstaircaseleadingtothecaveofSimeontheCanaanite,andthegildedcupolasofthenewchurchwheretheyhadstoodflashinginthenoontidesun,andthesnow-white,shimmeringblocksoftheguesthouseandtheservants’quarters,andtheglitteringfishponds,andthetreesofuniformtrimness,yetauniformlyregaldignity。

  “Brethren,“themonkhadsaidintriumphantconclusion,“wheresoevermanmaybe,hewill,ashesodesires,begivenpowertoovercomethedesolationofthewilds。“

  “AndthenIpressedhimfurther,“Kalininadded。“Yes,Isaidtohim:’NeverthelessChrist,ourLord,wasnotlikeyou,forHewashomelessandawanderer。Hewasonewhoutterlyrejectedyourlifeofintensivecultivationofthesoil’“asherelatedtheincidentKaliningavehisheadsundryjerksfromsidetosidewhichmadehisearsflap,toandfro。“’AlsoneitherforthelowlyalonenorfortheexaltedalonedidChristexist。Rather,He,likeallgreatbenefactors,wasonewhohadnoparticularleaning。Nay,evenwhenHewasroamingtheRussianLandincompanywithSaintsYuriandNikolai,HealwaysforboretointrudeHimselfintothevillages’affairs,justas,wheneverHiscompanionsengagedindisputesconcerningmankind,Heneverfailedtomaintainsilenceonthesubject。’Yes,thusIplaguedVitaliuntilheshoutedatmyhead,’Ah,impudence,youareaheretic!’“

  Bythistime,theairundertheleeofthestonewasgrowingsmokyandoppressive,forthefire,withitsflameslookinglikeabouquetcompoundedofredpoppiesorazaleasandbloomsofanaureatetint,hadbegunfairlytoliveitsbeautifulexistence,andwasblazing,anddiffusingwarmth,andlaughingitsbright,cheerful,intelligentlaugh。Yetfromthemountainsandthecloud-masseseveningwasdescending,astheearthemittedprofoundgaspsofhumidity,andtheseaintoneditsvague,thoughtful,resonantsong。

点击下载App,搜索"Through Russia",免费读到尾