BythesideofmostrailwaysoutofLondon，onemayseeAlms-HousesandRetreatsgenerallywithaWingoraCentrewanting，andambitiousofbeingmuchbiggerthantheyare，someofwhicharenewly-foundedInstitutions，andsomeoldestablishmentstransplanted。Thereisatendencyinthesepiecesofarchitecturetoshootupwardunexpectedly，likeJack’sbean-stalk，andtobeornateinspiresofChapelsandlanternsofHalls，whichmightleadtotheembellishmentoftheairwithmanycastlesofquestionablebeautybutfortherestrainingconsiderationofexpense。However，themanners，beingalwaysofasanguinetemperament，comfortthemselveswithplansandelevationsofLoomingsinthefuture，andareinfluencedinthepresentbyphilanthropytowardstherailwaypassengers。For，thequestionhowprosperousandpromisingthebuildingscanbemadetolookintheireyes，usuallysupersedesthelesserquestionhowtheycanbeturnedtothebestaccountfortheinmates。
Whynoneofthepeoplewhoresideintheseplaceseverlookoutofwindow，ortakeanairinginthepieceofgroundwhichisgoingtobeagardenby-and-by，isoneofthewondersIhaveaddedtomyalways-lengtheninglistofthewondersoftheworld。Ihavegotitintomymindthattheyliveinastateofchronicinjuryandresentment，andonthataccountrefusetodecoratethebuildingwithahumaninterest。AsIhaveknownlegateesdeeplyinjuredbyabequestoffivehundredpoundsbecauseitwasnotfivethousand，andasIwasonceacquaintedwithapensioneronthePublictotheextentoftwohundredayear，whoperpetuallyanathematisedhisCountrybecausehewasnotinthereceiptoffour，havingnoclaimwhatevertosixpence:soperhapsitusuallyhappens，withincertainlimits，thattogetalittlehelpistogetanotionofbeingdefraudedofmore。’Howdotheypasstheirlivesinthisbeautifulandpeacefulplace！’wasthesubjectofmyspeculationwithavisitorwhoonceaccompaniedmetoacharmingrusticretreatforoldmenandwomen:aquaintancientfoundationinapleasantEnglishcountry，behindapicturesquechurchandamongricholdconventgardens。Therewerebutsomedozenorsoofhouses，andweagreedthatwewouldtalkwiththeinhabitants，astheysatintheirgroinedroomsbetweenthelightoftheirfiresandthelightshininginattheirlatticedwindows，andwouldfindout。Theypassedtheirlivesinconsideringthemselvesmulctedofcertainouncesofteabyadeafoldstewardwholivedamongtheminthequadrangle。Therewasnoreasontosupposethatanysuchouncesofteahadeverbeeninexistence，orthattheoldstewardsomuchasknewwhatwasthematter；-hepassedHISlifeinconsideringhimselfperiodicallydefraudedofabirch-broombythebeadle。
ButitisneithertooldAlms-Housesinthecountry，nortonewAlms-Housesbytherailroad，thatthesepresentUncommercialnotesrelate。Theyreferbacktojourneysmadeamongthosecommon-place，smoky-frontedLondonAlms-Houses，withalittlepavedcourt-yardinfrontenclosedbyironrailings，whichhavegotsnowedup，asitwere，bybricksandmortar；whichwereonceinasuburb，butarenowinthedenselypopulatedtown；gapsinthebusylifearoundthem，parenthesesinthecloseandblottedtextsofthestreets。
Sometimes，theseAlms-HousesbelongtoaCompanyorSociety。
Sometimes，theywereestablishedbyindividuals，andaremaintainedoutofprivatefundsbequeathedinperpetuitylongago。MyfavouriteamongthemisTitbull’s，whichestablishmentisapictureofmany。OfTitbullIknownomorethanthathedeceasedin1723，thathisChristiannamewasSampson，andhissocialdesignationEsquire，andthathefoundedtheseAlms-HousesasDwellingsforNinePoorWomenandSixPoorMenbyhisWillandTestament。I
shouldnotknoweventhismuch，butforitsbeinginscribedonagrimstoneverydifficulttoread，letintothefrontofthecentrehouseofTitbull’sAlms-Houses，andwhichstoneisornamenteda-topwithapieceofsculptureddraperyresemblingtheeffigyofTitbull’sbath-towel。
Titbull’sAlms-HousesareintheeastofLondon，inagreathighway，inapoor，busy，andthrongedneighbourhood。Oldironandfriedfish，coughdropsandartificialflowers，boiledpigs’-feetandhouseholdfurniturethatlooksasifitwerepolishedupwithlip-salve，umbrellasfullofvocalliteratureandsaucersfullofshell-fishinagreenjuicewhichIhopeisnaturaltothemwhentheirhealthisgood，garnishthepavedsidewaysasyougotoTitbull’s。ItakethegroundtohaveriseninthosepartssinceTitbull’stime，andyoudropintohisdomainbythreestonesteps。
SodidIfirstdropintoit，verynearlystrikingmybrowsagainstTitbull’spump，whichstandswithitsbacktothethoroughfarejustinsidethegate，andhasaconceitedairofreviewingTitbull’spensioners。
’Andaworseone，’saidavirulentoldmanwithapitcher，’thereisn’tnowhere。Aharderonetowork，noragrudgineronetoyield，thereisn’tnowhere！’Thisoldmanworealongcoat，suchasweseeHogarth’sChairmenrepresentedwith，anditwasofthatpeculiargreen-peahuewithoutthegreen，whichseemstocomeofpoverty。Ithadalsothatpeculiarsmellofcupboardwhichseemstocomeofpoverty。
’Thepumpisrusty，perhaps，’saidI。
’NotIT，’saidtheoldman，regardingitwithundilutedvirulenceinhiswateryeye。’Itneverwerefittobetermedapump。That’swhat’sthematterwithIT。’
’Whosefaultisthat？’saidI。
Theoldman，whohadaworkingmouthwhichseemedtobetryingtomasticatehisangerandtofindthatitwastoohardandtherewastoomuchofit，replied，’Themgentlemen。’
’Whatgentlemen？’
’Maybeyou’reoneof’em？’saidtheoldman，suspiciously。
’Thetrustees？’
’Iwouldn’ttrust’emmyself，’saidthevirulentoldman。
’Ifyoumeanthegentlemenwhoadministerthisplace，no，Iamnotoneofthem；norhaveIeversomuchasheardofthem。’
’IwishIneverheardofthem，’gaspedtheoldman:’atmytimeoflife-withtherheumatics-drawingwater-fromthatthing！’NottobedeludedintocallingitaPump，theoldmangaveitanothervirulentlook，tookuphispitcher，andcarrieditintoacornerdwelling-house，shuttingthedoorafterhim。
Lookingaroundandseeingthateachlittlehousewasahouseoftwolittlerooms；andseeingthatthelittleoblongcourt-yardinfrontwaslikeagraveyardfortheinhabitants，savingthatnowordwasengravenonitsflatdrystones；andseeingthatthecurrentsoflifeandnoiserantoandfrooutside，havingnomoretodowiththeplacethanifitwereasortoflow-watermarkonalivelybeach；Isay，seeingthisandnothingelse，Iwasgoingoutatthegatewhenoneofthedoorsopened。
’Wasyoulookingforanything，sir？’askedatidy，well-favouredwoman。
Really，no；Icouldn’tsayIwas。
’Notwantinganyone，sir？’
’No-atleastI-praywhatisthenameoftheelderlygentlemanwholivesinthecornerthere？’
ThetidywomansteppedouttobesureofthedoorIindicated，andsheandthepumpandIstoodallthreeinarowwithourbackstothethoroughfare。
’Oh！HISnameisMr。Battens，’saidthetidywoman，droppinghervoice。
’Ihavejustbeentalkingwithhim。’
’Indeed？’saidthetidywoman。’Ho！IwonderMr。Battenstalked！’
’Isheusuallysosilent？’
’Well，Mr。Battensistheoldesthere-thatistosay，theoldestoftheoldgentlemen-inpointofresidence。’
Shehadawayofpassingherhandsoverandunderoneanotherasshespoke，thatwasnotonlytidybutpropitiatory；soIaskedherifImightlookatherlittlesitting-room？ShewillinglyrepliedYes，andwewentintoittogether:sheleavingthedooropen，withaneyeasIunderstoodtothesocialproprieties。Thedooropeningatonceintotheroomwithoutanyinterveningentry，evenscandalmusthavebeensilencedbytheprecaution。
Itwasagloomylittlechamber，butclean，andwithamugofwallflowerinthewindow。Onthechimney-pieceweretwopeacock’sfeathers，acarvedship，afewshells，andablackprofilewithoneeyelash；whetherthisportraitpurportedtobemaleorfemalepassedmycomprehension，untilmyhostessinformedmethatitwasheronlyson，and’quiteaspeakingone。’
’Heisalive，Ihope？’
’No，sir，’saidthewidow，’hewerecastawayinChina。’Thiswassaidwithamodestsenseofitsreflectingacertaingeographicaldistinctiononhismother。
’Iftheoldgentlemenherearenotgiventotalking，’saidI，’I
hopetheoldladiesare？-notthatyouareone。’
Sheshookherhead。’Youseetheygetsocross。’
’Howisthat？’
’Well，whetherthegentlemenreallydodepriveusofanylittlematterswhichoughttobeoursbyrights，Icannotsayforcertain；
buttheopinionoftheoldonesistheydo。AndMr。BattenshedoevengosofarastodoubtwhethercreditisduetotheFounder。
ForMr。Battenshedosay，anyhowhegothisnameupbyitandhedoneitcheap。’
’IamafraidthepumphassouredMr。Battens。’
’Itmaybeso，’returnedthetidywidow，’butthehandledoesgoveryhard。Still，whatIsaytomyselfis，thegentlemenMAYnotpocketthedifferencebetweenagoodpumpandabadone，andI
wouldwishtothinkwellofthem。Andthedwellings，’saidmyhostess，glancingroundherroom；’perhapstheywereconvenientdwellingsintheFounder’stime，consideredAShistime，andthereforeheshouldnotbeblamed。ButMrs。Saggersisveryharduponthem。’
’Mrs。Saggersistheoldesthere？’
’Theoldestbutone。Mrs。Quinchbeingtheoldest，andhavetotallylostherhead。’
’Andyou？’