treasuredBottlebegantocostme，nomanknows。Itwasmypreciouschargethroughalongtour，and，forhundredsofmiles，I
neverhaditoffmymindbydayorbynight。Overbadroads-andtheyweremany-Iclungtoitwithaffectionatedesperation。Upmountains，Ilookedinatitandsawithelplesslytiltingoveronitsback，withterror。Atinnumerableinndoorswhentheweatherwasbad，IwasobligedtobeputintomyvehiclebeforetheBottlecouldbegotin，andwasobligedtohavetheBottleliftedoutbeforehumanaidcouldcomenearme。TheImpofthesamename，exceptthathisassociationswereallevilandtheseassociationswereallgood，wouldhavebeenalesstroublesometravellingcompanion。ImighthaveservedMr。CruikshankasasubjectforanewillustrationofthemiseriesoftheBottle。TheNationalTemperanceSocietymighthavemadeapowerfulTractofme。
ThesuspicionsthatattachedtothisinnocentBottle，greatlyaggravatedmydifficulties。Itwasliketheapple-pieinthechild’sbook。Parmapoutedatit，Modenamockedit，Tuscanytackledit，Naplesnibbledit，Romerefusedit，Austriaaccusedit，Soldierssuspectedit，Jesuitsjobbedit。IcomposedaneatOration，developingmyinoffensiveintentionsinconnexionwiththisBottle，anddelivereditinaninfinityofguard-houses，atamultitudeoftowngates，andoneverydrawbridge，angle，andrampart，ofacompletesystemoffortifications。Fiftytimesaday，IgotdowntoharangueaninfuriatedsoldieryabouttheBottle。ThroughthefilthydegradationoftheabjectandvileRomanStates，IhadasmuchdifficultyinworkingmywaywiththeBottle，asifithadbottledupacompletesystemofhereticaltheology。IntheNeapolitancountry，whereeverybodywasaspy，asoldier，apriest，oralazzarone，theshamelessbeggarsofallfourdenominationsincessantlypouncedontheBottleandmadeitapretextforextortingmoneyfromme。Quires-quiresdoIsay？
Reams-offormsillegiblyprintedonwhity-brownpaperwerefilledupabouttheBottle，anditwasthesubjectofmorestampingandsandingthanIhadeverseenbefore。Inconsequenceofwhichhazeofsand，perhaps，itwasalwaysirregular，andalwayslatentwithdismalpenaltiesofgoingbackornotgoingforward，whichwereonlytobeabatedbythesilvercrossingofabasehand，pokedshirtlessoutofaraggeduniformsleeve。Underalldiscouragements，however，IstucktomyBottle，andheldfirmtomyresolutionthateverydropofitscontentsshouldreachtheBottle’sdestination。
Thelatterrefinementcostmeaseparateheapoftroublesonitsownseparateaccount。WhatcorkscrewsdidIseethemilitarypowerbringoutagainstthatBottle；whatgimlets，spikes，diviningrods，gauges，andunknowntestsandinstruments！Atsomeplaces，theypersistedindeclaringthatthewinemustnotbepassed，withoutbeingopenedandtasted；I，pleadingtothecontrary，usedthentoarguethequestionseatedontheBottlelesttheyshouldopenitinspiteofme。InthesouthernpartsofItalymoreviolentshrieking，face-making，andgesticulating，greatervehemenceofspeechandcountenanceandaction，wentonaboutthatBottlethanwouldattendfiftymurdersinanorthernlatitude。Itraisedimportantfunctionariesoutoftheirbeds，inthedeadofnight。I
haveknownhalf-a-dozenmilitarylanternstodispersethemselvesatallpointsofagreatsleepingPiazza，eachlanternsummoningsomeofficialcreaturetogetup，putonhiscocked-hatinstantly，andcomeandstoptheBottle。ItwascharacteristicthatwhilethisinnocentBottlehadsuchimmensedifficultyingettingfromlittletowntotown，SignorMazziniandthefierycrossweretraversingItalyfromendtoend。
Still，IstucktomyBottle，likeanyfineoldEnglishgentlemanalloftheoldentime。ThemoretheBottlewasinterferedwith，thestauncherIbecameifpossibleinmyfirstdeterminationthatmycountrymanshouldhaveitdeliveredtohimintact，asthemanwhomhehadsonoblyrestoredtolifeandlibertyhaddeliveredittome。IfeverIhadbeenobstinateinmydays-andImayhavebeen，say，onceortwice-IwasobstinateabouttheBottle。But，Imadeitarulealwaystokeepapocketfullofsmallcoinatitsservice，andnevertobeoutoftemperinitscause。Thus，IandtheBottlemadeourway。Oncewehadabreak-down；ratherabadbreak-down，onasteephighplacewiththeseabelowus，onatempestuouseveningwhenitblewgreatguns。Weweredrivingfourwildhorsesabreast，Southernfashion，andtherewassomelittledifficultyinstoppingthem。Iwasoutside，andnotthrownoff；
butnowordscandescribemyfeelingswhenIsawtheBottle-
travellinginside，asusual-burstthedooropen，androllobeselyoutintotheroad。AblessedBottlewithacharmedexistence，hetooknohurt，andwerepaireddamage，andwentontriumphant。
AthousandrepresentationsweremadetomethattheBottlemustbeleftatthisplace，orthat，andcalledforagain。Ineveryieldedtooneofthem，andneverpartedfromtheBottle，onanypretence，consideration，threat，orentreaty。IhadnofaithinanyofficialreceiptfortheBottle，andnothingwouldinducemetoacceptone。
TheseunmanageablepoliticsatlastbroughtmeandtheBottle，stilltriumphant，toGenoa。There，Itookatenderandreluctantleaveofhimforafewweeks，andconsignedhimtoatrustyEnglishcaptain，tobeconveyedtothePortofLondonbysea。
WhiletheBottlewasonhisvoyagetoEngland，IreadtheShippingIntelligenceasanxiouslyasifIhadbeenanunderwriter。TherewassomestormyweatherafterImyselfhadgottoEnglandbywayofSwitzerlandandFrance，andmymindgreatlymisgavemethattheBottlemightbewrecked。Atlasttomygreatjoy，Ireceivednoticeofhissafearrival，andimmediatelywentdowntoSaintKatharine’sDocks，andfoundhiminastateofhonourablecaptivityintheCustomHouse。
ThewinewasmerevinegarwhenIsetitdownbeforethegenerousEnglishman-probablyithadbeensomethinglikevinegarwhenI
tookitupfromGiovanniCarlavero-butnotadropofitwasspilledorgone。AndtheEnglishmantoldme，withmuchemotioninhisfaceandvoice，thathehadnevertastedwinethatseemedtohimsosweetandsound。Andlongafterwards，theBottlegracedhistable。AndthelasttimeIsawhiminthisworldthatmisseshim，hetookmeasideinacrowd，tosay，withhisamiablesmile:’Weweretalkingofyouonlyto-dayatdinner，andIwishedyouhadbeenthere，forIhadsomeClaretupinCarlavero’sBottle。’
ItisanunsettledquestionwithmewhetherIshallleaveCalaissomethinghandsomeinmywill，orwhetherIshallleaveitmymalediction。Ihateitsomuch，andyetIamalwayssoverygladtoseeit，thatIaminastateofconstantindecisiononthissubject。WhenIfirstmadeacquaintancewithCalais，itwasasamaunderingyoungwretchinaclammyperspirationanddrippingsalineparticles，whowasconsciousofnoextremitiesbuttheonegreatextremity，sea-sickness-whowasamerebilioustorso，withamislaidheadachesomewhereinitsstomach-whohadbeenputintoahorribleswinginDoverHarbour，andhadtumbledgiddilyoutofitontheFrenchcoast，ortheIsleofMan，oranywhere。Timeshavechanged，andnowIenterCalaisself-reliantandrational。I
knowwhereitisbeforehand，Ikeepalookoutforit，IrecogniseitslandmarkswhenIseeanyofthem，Iamacquaintedwithitsways，andIknow-andIcanbear-itsworstbehaviour。
MalignantCalais！Low-lyingalligator，evadingtheeyesightanddiscouraginghope！Dodgingflatstreak，nowonthisbow，nowonthat，nowanywhere，noweverywhere，nownowhere！InvainCapeGrinez，comingfranklyforthintothesea，exhortsthefailingtobestoutofheartandstomach:sneakingCalais，pronebehinditsbar，invitesemeticallytodespair。Evenwhenitcannolongerquiteconcealitselfinitsmuddydock，ithasanevilwayoffallingoff，hasCalais，whichismorehopelessthanitsinvisibility。Thepierisallbutonthebowsprit，andyouthinkyouarethere-roll，roar，wash！-Calaishasretiredmilesinland，andDoverhasburstouttolookforit。Ithasalastdipandslideinitscharacter，hasCalais，tobeespeciallycommandedtotheinfernalgods。Thriceaccursedbethatgarrison-town，whenitdivesundertheboat’skeel，andcomesupaleagueortwototheright，withthepacketshiveringandsplutteringandstaringaboutforit！
NotbutwhatIhavemyanimositiestowardsDover。IparticularlydetestDoverfortheself-complacencywithwhichitgoestobed。
ItalwaysgoestobedwhenIamgoingtoCalaiswithamorebrilliantdisplayoflampandcandlethananyothertown。Mr。andMrs。Birmingham，hostandhostessoftheLordWardenHotel，aremymuchesteemedfriends，buttheyaretooconceitedaboutthecomfortsofthatestablishmentwhentheNightMailisstarting。I
knowitisagoodhousetostayat，andIdon’twantthefactinsisteduponinallitswarmbrightwindowsatsuchanhour。I
knowtheWardenisastationaryedificethatneverrollsorpitches，andIobjecttoitsbigoutlineseemingtoinsistuponthatcircumstance，and，asitwere，tocomeovermewithit，whenI
amreelingonthedeckoftheboat。BeshrewtheWardenlikewise，forobstructingthatcorner，andmakingthewindsoangryasitrushesround。ShallInotknowthatitblowsquitesoonenough，withouttheofficiousWarden’sinterference？
AsIwaithereonboardthenightpacket，fortheSouth-EasternTraintocomedownwiththeMail，Doverappearstometobeilluminatedforsomeintenselyaggravatingfestivityinmypersonaldishonour。Allitsnoisessmackoftauntingpraisesoftheland，anddispraisesofthegloomysea，andofmeforgoingonit。Thedrumsupontheheightshavegonetobed，orIknowtheywouldrattletauntsagainstmeforhavingmyunsteadyfootingonthisslipperydeck。ThemanygaseyesoftheMarineParadetwinkleinanoffensivemanner，asifwithderision。ThedistantdogsofDoverbarkatmeinmymisshapenwrappers，asifIwereRichardtheThird。
Ascreech，abell，andtworedeyescomeglidingdowntheAdmiraltyPierwithasmoothnessofmotionrenderedmoresmoothbytheheavingoftheboat。Theseamakesnoisesagainstthepier，asifseveralhippopotamiwerelappingatit，andwerepreventedbycircumstancesoverwhichtheyhadnocontrolfromdrinkingpeaceably。We，theboat，becomeviolentlyagitated-rumble，hum，scream，roar，andestablishanimmensefamilywashing-dayateachpaddle-box。Brightpatchesbreakoutinthetrainasthedoorsofthepost-officevansareopened，andinstantlystoopingfigureswithsacksupontheirbacksbegintobebeheldamongthepiles，descendingasitwouldseeminghostlyprocessiontoDavyJones’sLocker。Thepassengerscomeonboard；afewshadowyFrenchmen，withhatboxesshapedlikethestoppersofgiganticcase-bottles；afewshadowyGermansinimmensefurcoatsandboots；afewshadowyEnglishmenpreparedfortheworstandpretendingnottoexpectit。
Icannotdisguisefrommyuncommercialmindthemiserablefactthatweareabodyofoutcasts；thattheattendantsonusareasscantinnumberasmayservetogetridofuswiththeleastpossibledelay；thattherearenonight-loungersinterestedinus；thattheunwillinglampsshiverandshudderatus；thatthesoleobjectistocommitustothedeepandabandonus。Lo，thetworedeyesglaringinincreasingdistance，andthentheverytrainitselfhasgonetobedbeforeweareoff！
Whatisthemoralsupportderivedbysomesea-goingamateursfromanumbrella？WhydocertainvoyagersacrosstheChannelalwaysputupthatarticle，andholditupwithagrimandfiercetenacity？A
fellow-creaturenearme-whomIonlyknowtoBEafellow-creature，becauseofhisumbrella:withoutwhichhemightbeadarkbitofcliff，pier，orbulkbead-clutchesthatinstrumentwithadesperategrasp，thatwillnotrelaxuntilhelandsatCalais。Isthereanyanalogy，incertainconstitutions，betweenkeepinganumbrellaup，andkeepingthespiritsup？Ahawserthrownonboardwithaflopreplies’Standby！’’Standby，below！’’Halfaturnahead！’’Halfaturnahead！’’Halfspeed！’’Halfspeed！’