’ALemonhaspips，AndaYardhasships，AndI’llhaveChips！’
ForthisRefrainIhadwaitedsinceitslastappearance，withinexpressiblehorror，whichnowculminated。Chipsnowfeltcertaininhisownmindthattheratwouldsticktohim；therat，answeringhisthought，said，’Iwill-likepitch！’
Now，astheratleapedoutofthepotwhenithadspoken，andmadeoff，Chipsbegantohopethatitwouldn’tkeepitsword。But，aterriblethinghappenednextday。For，whendinner-timecame，andtheDock-bellrangtostrikework，heputhisruleintothelongpocketatthesideofhistrousers，andtherehefoundarat-notthatrat，butanotherrat。Andinhishat，hefoundanother；andinhispocket-handkerchief，another；andinthesleevesofhiscoat，whenhepulleditontogotodinner，twomore。AndfromthattimehefoundhimselfsofrightfullyintimatewithalltheratsintheYard，thattheyclimbeduphislegswhenhewasatwork，andsatonhistoolswhileheusedthem。Andtheycouldallspeaktooneanother，andheunderstoodwhattheysaid。Andtheygotintohislodging，andintohisbed，andintohisteapot，andintohisbeer，andintohisboots。Andhewasgoingtobemarriedtoacorn-chandler’sdaughter；andwhenhegaveheraworkboxhehadhimselfmadeforher，aratjumpedoutofit；andwhenheputhisarmroundherwaist，aratclungabouther；sothemarriagewasbrokenoff，thoughthebannswerealreadytwiceputup-whichtheparishclerkwellremembers，for，ashehandedthebooktotheclergymanforthesecondtimeofasking，alargefatratranovertheleaf。Bythistimeaspecialcascadeofratswasrollingdownmyback，andthewholeofmysmalllisteningpersonwasoverrunwiththem。Atintervalseversince，Ihavebeenmorbidlyafraidofmyownpocket，lestmyexploringhandshouldfindaspecimenortwoofthosevermininit。
YoumaybelievethatallthiswasveryterribletoChips；butevenallthiswasnottheworst。Heknewbesides，whattheratsweredoing，wherevertheywere。So，sometimeshewouldcryaloud，whenhewasathisclubatnight，’Oh！Keeptheratsoutoftheconvicts’burying-ground！Don’tletthemdothat！’Or，’There’soneofthematthecheesedown-stairs！’Or，’There’stwoofthemsmellingatthebabyinthegarret！’Or，otherthingsofthatsort。Atlast，hewasvotedmad，andlosthisworkintheYard，andcouldgetnootherwork。But，KingGeorgewantedmen，sobeforeverylonghegotpressedforasailor。Andsohewastakenoffinaboatoneeveningtohisship，lyingatSpithead，readytosail。Andsothefirstthinghemadeoutinherashegotnearher，wasthefigure-headoftheoldSeventy-four，wherehehadseentheDevil。ShewascalledtheArgonaut，andtheyrowedrightunderthebowspritwherethefigure-headoftheArgonaut，withasheepskininhishandandabluegownon，waslookingouttosea；
andsittingstaringonhisforeheadwastheratwhocouldspeak，andhisexactwordswerethese:’Chipsahoy！Oldboy！We’veprettywelleatthemtoo，andwe’lldrownthecrew，andwilleatthemtoo！’HereIalwaysbecameexceedinglyfaint，andwouldhaveaskedforwater，butthatIwasspeechless。
TheshipwasboundfortheIndies；andifyoudon’tknowwherethatis，yououghttoit，andangelswillneverloveyou。HereIfeltmyselfanoutcastfromafuturestate。Theshipsetsailthatverynight，andshesailed，andsailed，andsailed。Chips’sfeelingsweredreadful。Nothingeverequalledhisterrors。Nowonder。Atlast，onedayheaskedleavetospeaktotheAdmiral。
TheAdmiralgiv’leave。ChipswentdownonhiskneesintheGreatStateCabin。’YourHonour，unlessyourHonour，withoutamoment’slossoftime，makessailforthenearestshore，thisisadoomedship，andhernameistheCoffin！’’Youngman，yourwordsareamadman’swords。’’YourHonourno；theyarenibblingusaway。’
’They？’’YourHonour，themdreadfulrats。Dustandhollownesswheresolidoakoughttobe！Ratsnibblingagraveforeverymanonboard！Oh！DoesyourHonourloveyourLadyandyourprettychildren？’’Yes，myman，tobesure。’’Then，forGod’ssake，makeforthenearestshore，foratthispresentmomenttheratsareallstoppingintheirwork，andarealllookingstraighttowardsyouwithbareteeth，andareallsayingtooneanotherthatyoushallnever，never，never，never，seeyourLadyandyourchildrenmore。’
’Mypoorfellow，youareacaseforthedoctor。Sentry，takecareofthisman！’
So，hewasbledandhewasblistered，andhewasthisandthat，forsixwholedaysandnights。So，thenheagainaskedleavetospeaktotheAdmiral。TheAdmiralgiv’leave。HewentdownonhiskneesintheGreatStateCabin。’Now，Admiral，youmustdie！Youtooknowarning；youmustdie！Theratsareneverwrongintheircalculations，andtheymakeoutthatthey’llbethrough，attwelveto-night。So，youmustdie！-Withmeandalltherest！’Andsoattwelveo’clocktherewasagreatleakreportedintheship，andatorrentofwaterrushedinandnothingcouldstopit，andtheyallwentdown，everylivingsoul。Andwhattherats-beingwater-
rats-leftofChips，atlastfloatedtoshore，andsittingonhimwasanimmenseovergrownrat，laughing，thatdivedwhenthecorpsetouchedthebeachandnevercameup。Andtherewasadealofseaweedontheremains。Andifyougetthirteenbitsofseaweed，anddrythemandburntheminthefire，theywillgoofflikeinthesethirteenwordsasplainasplaincanbe:
’ALemonhaspips，AndaYardhasships，AndI’vegotChips！’
Thesamefemalebard-descended，possibly，fromthoseterribleoldScaldswhoseemtohaveexistedfortheexpresspurposeofaddlingthebrainsofmankindwhentheybegintoinvestigatelanguages-
madeastandingpretencewhichgreatlyassistedinforcingmebacktoanumberofhideousplacesthatIwouldbyallmeanshaveavoided。Thispretencewas，thatallherghoststorieshadoccurredtoherownrelations。Politenesstowardsameritoriousfamily，therefore，forbademydoubtingthem，andtheyacquiredanairofauthenticationthatimpairedmydigestivepowersforlife。
Therewasanarrativeconcerninganunearthlyanimalforebodingdeath，whichappearedintheopenstreettoaparlour-maidwho’wenttofetchthebeer’forsupper:firstasInowrecallit
assumingthelikenessofablackdog，andgraduallyrisingonitshind-legsandswellingintothesemblanceofsomequadrupedgreatlysurpassingahippopotamus:whichapparition-notbecauseIdeemeditintheleastimprobable，butbecauseIfeltittobereallytoolargetobear-Ifeeblyendeavouredtoexplainaway。But，onMercy’sretortingwithwoundeddignitythattheparlour-maidwasherownsister-in-law，Iperceivedtherewasnohope，andresignedmyselftothiszoologicalphenomenonasoneofmymanypursuers。
Therewasanothernarrativedescribingtheapparitionofayoungwomanwhocameoutofaglass-caseandhauntedanotheryoungwomanuntiltheotheryoungwomanquestioneditandelicitedthatitsbonesLord！Tothinkofitsbeingsoparticularaboutitsbones！
wereburiedundertheglass-case，whereassherequiredthemtobeinterred，witheveryUndertakingsolemnityuptotwenty-fourpoundten，inanotherparticularplace。ThisnarrativeIconsidered-I
hadapersonalinterestindisproving，becausewehadglass-casesathome，andhow，otherwise，wasItobeguaranteedfromtheintrusionofyoungwomenrequiringMETOburythemuptotwenty-
fourpoundten，whenIhadonlytwopenceaweek？Butmyremorselessnursecutthegroundfromundermytenderfeet，byinformingmethatShewastheotheryoungwoman；andIcouldn’tsay’Idon’tbelieveyou；’itwasnotpossible。
SuchareafewoftheuncommercialjourneysthatIwasforcedtomake，againstmywill，whenIwasveryyoungandunreasoning。Andreally，astothelatterpartofthem，itisnotsoverylongago-
nowIcometothinkofit-thatIwasaskedtoundertakethemonceagain，withasteadycountenance。
Beinginahumourforcompletesolitudeanduninterruptedmeditationthisautumn，IhavetakenalodgingforsixweeksinthemostunfrequentedpartofEngland-inaword，inLondon。
TheretreatintowhichIhavewithdrawnmyself，isBond-street。
FromthislonelyspotImakepilgrimagesintothesurroundingwilderness，andtraverseextensivetractsoftheGreatDesert。Thefirstsolemnfeelingofisolationovercome，thefirstoppressiveconsciousnessofprofoundretirementconquered，Ienjoythatsenseoffreedom，andfeelrevivingwithinmethatlatentwildnessoftheoriginalsavage，whichhasbeenuponthewholesomewhatfrequentlynoticedbyTravellers。
Mylodgingsareatahatter’s-myownhatter’s。Afterexhibitingnoarticlesinhiswindowforsomeweeks，butsea-sidewide-awakes，shooting-caps，andachoiceofroughwaterproofhead-gearforthemoorsandmountains，hehasputupontheheadsofhisfamilyasmuchofthisstockastheycouldcarry，andhastakenthemofftotheIsleofThanet。Hisyoungmanaloneremains-andremainsaloneintheshop。Theyoungmanhasletoutthefireatwhichtheironsareheated，and，savinghisstrongsenseofduty，Iseenoreasonwhyheshouldtaketheshuttersdown。
HappilyforhimselfandforhiscountrytheyoungmanisaVolunteer；mosthappilyforhimself，orIthinkhewouldbecomethepreyofasettledmelancholy。For，tolivesurroundedbyhumanhats，andalienatedfromhumanheadstofitthemon，issurelyagreatendurance。But，theyoungman，sustainedbypractisinghisexercise，andbyconstantlyfurbishinguphisregulationplumeitisunnecessarytoobservethat，asahatter，heisinacock’s-
feathercorps，isresigned，anduncomplaining。OnaSaturday，whenheclosesearlyandgetshisKnickerbockerson，heisevencheerful。Iamgratefullyparticularinthisreferencetohim，becauseheismycompanionthroughmanypeacefulhours。
Myhatterhasadeskupcertainstepsbehindhiscounter，enclosedliketheclerk’sdeskatChurch。Ishutmyselfintothisplaceofseclusion，afterbreakfast，andmeditate。Atsuchtimes，Iobservetheyoungmanloadinganimaginaryriflewiththegreatestprecision，andmaintainingamostgallinganddestructivefireuponthenationalenemy。Ithankhimpubliclyforhiscompanionshipandhispatriotism。
Thesimplecharacterofmylife，andthecalmnatureofthescenesbywhichIamsurrounded，occasionmetoriseearly。Igoforthinmyslippers，andpromenadethepavement。Itispastoraltofeelthefreshnessoftheairintheuninhabitedtown，andtoappreciatetheshepherdesscharacterofthefewmilkwomenwhopurveysolittlemilkthatitwouldbeworthnobody’swhiletoadulterateit，ifanybodywerelefttoundertakethetask。Onthecrowdedsea-shore，thegreatdemandformilk，combinedwiththestronglocaltemptationofchalk，wouldbetrayitselfintheloweredqualityofthearticle。InArcadianLondonIderiveitfromthecow。