If，seeingnobodyinthehouse，I
hadtakenanyofthemupinmyhanditcouldnotbeconcluded
thatIintendedtostealthem，forthatInevercarriedthem
fartherthanthedoortolookonthemwiththebetterlight。
TheCourtwouldnotallowthatbyanymeans，andmadea
kindofajestofmyintendingtobuythegoods，thatbeingno
shopforthesellingofanything，andastocarryingthemtothe
doortolookatthem，themaidsmadetheirimpudentmocks
uponthat，andspenttheirwituponitverymuch；toldthe
CourtIhadlookedatthemsufficiently，andapprovedthem
verywell，forIhadpackedthemupundermyclothes，and
wasa-goingwiththem。
Inshort，Iwasfoundguiltyoffelony，butacquittedofthe
burglary，whichwasbutsmallcomforttome，thefirstbringing
metoasentenceofdeath，andthelastwouldhavedoneno
more。
ThenextdayIwascarrieddowntoreceivethedreadful
sentence，andwhentheycametoaskmewhatIhadtosay
whysentenceshouldnotpass，Istoodmuteawhile，but
somebodythatstoodbehindmepromptedmealoudtospeak
tothejudges，forthattheycouldrepresentthingsfavourably
forme。
Thisencouragedmetospeak，andItoldthemIhad
nothingtosaytostopthesentence，butthatIhadmuchtosay
tobespeakthemercyoftheCourt；thatIhopedtheywould
allowsomethinginsuchacaseforthecircumstancesofit；
thatIhadbrokennodoors，hadcarriednothingoff；that
nobodyhadlostanything；thatthepersonwhosegoodsthey
werewaspleasedtosayhedesiredmercymightbeshown
whichindeedheveryhonestlydid；that，attheworst，itwas
thefirstoffence，andthatIhadneverbeenbeforeanycourt
ofjusticebefore；and，inaword，Ispokewithmorecourage
thatIthoughtIcouldhavedone，andinsuchamovingtone，
andthoughwithtears，yetnotsomanytearsastoobstructmy
speech，thatIcouldseeitmovedotherstotearsthatheardme。
Thejudgessatgraveandmute，gavemeaneasyhearing，and
timetosayallthatIwould，but，sayingneitherYesnorNoto
it，pronouncedthesentenceofdeathuponme，asentencethat
wastomelikedeathitself，which，afteritwasread，confounded
me。
Ihadnomorespiritleftinme，Ihadnotonguetospeak，
oreyestolookupeithertoGodorman。
Mypoorgovernesswasutterlydisconsolate，andshethatwas
mycomforterbefore，wantedcomfortnowherself；andsometimes
mourning，sometimesraging，wasasmuchoutofherself，asto
alloutwardappearance，asanymadwomaninBedlam。
Nor
wassheonlydisconsolateastome，butshewasstruckwith
horroratthesenseofherownwickedlife，andbegantolook
backuponitwithatastequitedifferentfrommine，forshe
waspenitenttothehighestdegreeforhersins，aswellas
sorrowfulforthemisfortune。
Shesentforaminister，too，a
serious，pious，goodman，andappliedherselfwithsuch
earnestness，byhisassistance，totheworkofasincererepentance，
thatIbelieve，andsodidtheministertoo，thatshewasatrue
penitent；and，whichisstillmore，shewasnotonlysoforthe
occasion，andatthatjuncture，butshecontinuedso，asIwas
informed，tothedayofherdeath。
Itisrathertobethoughtofthanexpressedwhatwasnowmy
condition。
Ihadnothingbeforemebutpresentdeath；andas
Ihadnofriendstoassistme，ortostirforme，Iexpected
nothingbuttofindmynameinthedeadwarrant，whichwas
tocomedownfortheexecution，theFridayafterwards，offive
moreandmyself。
Inthemeantimemypoordistressedgovernesssentmea
minister，whoatherrequestfirst，andatmyownafterwards，
cametovisitme。
Heexhortedmeseriouslytorepentofall
mysins，andtodallynolongerwithmysoul；notflattering
myselfwithhopesoflife，which，hesaid，hewasinformed
therewasnoroomtoexpect，butunfeignedlytolookupto
Godwithmywholesoul，andtocryforpardoninthename
ofJesusChrist。
Hebackedhisdiscourseswithproperquotations
ofScripture，encouragingthegreatestsinnertorepent，andturn
fromtheirevilway，andwhenhehaddone，hekneeleddown
andprayedwithme。
Itwasnowthat，forthefirsttime，Ifeltanyrealsignsof
repentance。
Inowbegantolookbackuponmypastlifewith
abhorrence，andhavingakindofviewintotheothersideof
time，andthingsoflife，asIbelievetheydowitheverybody
atsuchatime，begantolookwithadifferentaspect，andquite
anothershape，thantheydidbefore。
Thegreatestandbest
things，theviewsoffelicity，thejoy，thegriefsoflife，were
quiteotherthings；andIhadnothinginmythoughtsbutwhat
wassoinfinitelysuperiortowhatIhadknowninlife，thatit
appearedtometobethegreateststupidityinnaturetolay
anyweightuponanything，thoughthemostvaluableinthis
world。
Thewordeternityrepresenteditselfwithallitsincomprehensible
additions，andIhadsuchextendednotionsofit，thatIknow
nothowtoexpressthem。
Amongtherest，howvile，howgross，
howabsurddideverypleasantthinglook！——Imean，thatwe
hadcountedpleasantbefore——especiallywhenIreflectedthat
thesesordidtrifleswerethethingsforwhichweforfeited
eternalfelicity。
Withthesereflectionscame，ofmerecourse，severereproaches
ofmyownmindformywretchedbehaviourinmypastlife；
thatIhadforfeitedallhopeofanyhappinessintheeternity
thatIwasjustgoingtoenterinto，andonthecontrarywas
entitledtoallthatwasmiserable，orhadbeenconceivedof
misery；andallthiswiththefrightfuladditionofitsbeing
alsoeternal。
Iamnotcapableofreadinglecturesofinstructiontoanybody，
butIrelatethisintheverymannerinwhichthingsthen
appearedtome，asfarasIamable，butinfinitelyshortofthe
livelyimpressionswhichtheymadeonmysoulatthattime；
indeed，thoseimpressionsarenottobeexplainedbywords，
oriftheyare，Iamnotmistressofwordsenoughtoexpress
them。
Itmustbetheworkofeverysoberreadertomakejust
reflectionsonthem，astheirowncircumstancesmaydirect；
and，withoutquestion，thisiswhateveryoneatsometimeor
othermayfeelsomethingof；Imean，aclearersightintothings
tocomethantheyhadhere，andadarkviewoftheirown
concerninthem。
ButIgobacktomyowncase。
Theministerpressedmeto
tellhim，asfarasIthoughconvenient，inwhatstateIfound
myselfastothesightIhadofthingsbeyondlife。
Hetoldme
hedidnotcomeasordinaryoftheplace，whosebusinessit
istoextortconfessionsfromprisoners，forprivateends，or
forthefurtherdetectingofotheroffenders；thathisbusiness
wastomovemetosuchfreedomofdiscourseasmightserve
todisburthenmyownmind，andfurnishhimtoadminister
comforttomeasfaraswasinhispower；andassuredme，
thatwhateverIsaidtohimshouldremainwithhim，andbe
asmuchasecretasifitwasknownonlytoGodandmyself；
andthathedesiredtoknownothingofme，butasaboveto
qualifyhimtoapplyproperadviceandassistancetome，and
topraytoGodforme。
Thishonest，friendlywayoftreatingmeunlockedallthe
sluicesofmypassions。
Hebrokeintomyverysoulbyit；and
Iunravelledallthewickednessofmylifetohim。Inaword，I
gavehimanabridgmentofthiswholehistory；Igavehima
pictureofmyconductforfiftyyearsinminiature。
Ihidnothingfromhim，andheinreturnexhortedmetosincere
repentance，explainedtomewhathemeantbyrepentance，and
thendrewoutsuchaschemeofinfinitemercy，proclaimed
fromheaventosinnersofthegreatestmagnitude，thatheleft
menothingtosay，thatlookedlikedespair，ordoubtingof
beingaccepted；andinthisconditionheleftmethefirstnight。
Hevisitedmeagainthenextmorning，andwentonwithhis
methodofexplainingthetermsofdivinemercy，which
accordingtohimconsistedofnothingmore，ormoredifficult，
thanthatofbeingsincerelydesirousofit，andwillingtoaccept
it；onlyasincereregretfor，andhatredof，thosethingsIhad
done，whichrenderedmesojustanobjectofdivinevengeance。
Iamnotabletorepeattheexcellentdiscoursesofthis
extraordinaryman；’tisallthatIamabletodo，tosaythathe
revivedmyheart，andbroughtmeintosuchaconditionthat
Ineverknewanythingofinmylifebefore。
Iwascovered
withshameandtearsforthingspast，andyethadatthesame
timeasecretsurprisingjoyattheprospectofbeingatrue
penitent，andobtainingthecomfortofapenitent——Imean，the
hopeofbeingforgiven；andsoswiftdidthoughtscirculate，
andsohighdidtheimpressionstheyhadmadeuponmerun，
thatIthoughtIcouldfreelyhavegoneoutthatminuteto
execution，withoutanyuneasinessatall，castingmysoul
entirelyintothearmsofinfinitemercyasapenitent。
Thegoodgentlemanwassomovedalsoinmybehalfwitha
viewoftheinfluencewhichhesawthesethingshadonme，
thatheblessedGodhehadcometovisitme，andresolvednot
toleavemetillthelastmoment；thatis，nottoleavevisitingme。
Itwasnolessthantwelvedaysafterourreceivingsentence
beforeanywereorderedforexecution，andthenupona
Wednesdaythedeadwarrant，astheycallit，camedown，and
Ifoundmynamewasamongthem。
Aterribleblowthiswas
tomynewresolutions；indeedmyheartsankwithinme，and
Iswoonedawaytwice，oneafteranother，butspokenotaword。
Thegoodministerwassorelyafflictedforme，anddidwhathe
couldtocomfortmewiththesamearguments，andthesame
movingeloquencethathedidbefore，andleftmenotthat
eveningsolongastheprisonkeeperswouldsufferhimtostay
intheprison，unlesshewouldbelockedupwithmeallnight，
whichhewasnotwillingtobe。
IwonderedmuchthatIdidnotseehimallthenextday，it
beingthedaybeforethetimeappointedforexecution；andI
wasgreatlydiscouraged，anddejectedinmymind，andindeed
almostsankforwantofthecomfortwhichhehadsooften，
andwithsuchsuccess，yieldedmeonhisformervisits。