Igrieveddayandnightforhim，andthemoreforthat
theytoldmehewasthecaptainofthegang，andthathehad
committedsomanyrobberies，thatHind，orWhitney，orthe
GoldenFarmerwerefoolstohim；thathewouldsurelybe
hangediftherewerenomoremenleftinthecountryhewas
bornin；andthattherewouldabundanceofpeoplecomein
againsthim。
Iwasoverwhelmedwithgriefforhim；myowncasegaveme
nodisturbancecomparedtothis，andIloadedmyselfwith
reproachesonhisaccount。
Ibewailedhismisfortunes，and
theruinhewasnowcometo，atsucharate，thatIrelished
nothingnowasIdidbefore，andthefirstreflectionsImade
uponthehorrid，detestablelifeIhadlivedbegantoreturnupon
me，andasthesethingsreturned，myabhorrenceoftheplace
Iwasin，andofthewayoflivinginit，returnedalso；inaword，
Iwasperfectlychanged，andbecomeanotherbody。
WhileIwasundertheseinfluencesofsorrowforhim，came
noticetomethatthenextsessionsapproachingtherewould
beabillpreferredtothegrandjuryagainstme，andthatI
shouldbecertainlytriedformylifeattheOldBailey。
My
temperwastouchedbefore，thehardened，wretchedboldness
ofspiritwhichIhadacquiredabated，andconsciousinthe
prison，guiltbegantoflowinuponmymind。
Inshort，Ibegan
tothink，andtothinkisonerealadvancefromhelltoheaven。
Allthathellish，hardenedstateandtemperofsoul，whichI
havesaidsomuchofbefore，isbutadeprivationofthought；
hethatisrestoredtohispowerofthinking，isrestoredtohimself。
AssoonasIbegan，Isay，tothink，thefirstthinkthatoccurred
tomebrokeoutthus:
’Lord！whatwillbecomeofme？
Ishall
certainlydie！
Ishallbecast，tobesure，andthereisnothing
beyondthatbutdeath！
Ihavenofriends；whatshallIdo？
I
shallbecertainlycast！
Lord，havemercyuponme！
What
willbecomeofme？’
Thiswasasadthought，youwillsay，to
bethefirst，aftersolongatime，thathadstartedintomysoul
ofthatkind，andyeteventhiswasnothingbutfrightatwhat
wastocome；therewasnotawordofsincererepentanceinit
all。
However，Iwasindeeddreadfullydejected，anddisconsolate
tothelastdegree；andasIhadnofriendintheworldto
communicatemydistressedthoughtsto，itlaysoheavyupon
me，thatitthrewmeintofitsandswooningsseveraltimesa
day。
Isentformyoldgoverness，andshe，giveherherdue，
actedthepartofatruefriend。
Sheleftnostoneunturnedto
preventthegrandjuryfindingthebill。
Shesoughtoutoneor
twoofthejurymen，talkedwiththem，andendeavouredto
possessthemwithfavourabledispositions，onaccountthat
nothingwastakenaway，andnohousebroken，etc。；butall
wouldnotdo，theywereover-ruledbytherest；thetwowenches
sworehometothefact，andthejuryfoundthebillagainstme
forrobberyandhouse-breaking，thatis，forfelonyandburglary。
Isunkdownwhentheybroughtmenewsofit，andafterIcame
tomyselfagain，IthoughtIshouldhavediedwiththeweight
ofit。
Mygovernessactedatruemothertome；shepitiedme，
shecriedwithme，andforme，butshecouldnothelpme；
andtoaddtotheterrorofit，’twasthediscoursealloverthe
housethatIshoulddieforit。
Icouldhearthemtalkitamong
themselvesveryoften，andseethemshaketheirheadsandsay
theyweresorryforit，andthelike，asisusualintheplace。
Butstillnobodycametotellmetheirthoughts，tillatlastone
ofthekeeperscametomeprivately，andsaidwithasigh，
’Well，Mrs。Flanders，youwillbetriedonFriday’thiswas
butaWednesday；’whatdoyouintendtodo？’
Iturnedas
whiteasaclout，andsaid，’GodknowswhatIshalldo；formy
part，Iknownotwhattodo。’
’Why，’sayshe，’Iwon’tflatter
you，Iwouldhaveyoupreparefordeath，forIdoubtyouwill
becast；andastheysayyouareanoldoffender，Idoubtyou
willfindbutlittlemercy。
Theysay，’addedhe，’yourcaseis
veryplain，andthatthewitnessesswearsohomeagainstyou，
therewillbenostandingit。’
Thiswasastabintotheveryvitalsofoneundersuchaburthen
asIwasoppressedwithbefore，andIcouldnotspeaktohima
word，goodorbad，foragreatwhile；butatlastIburstoutinto
tears，andsaidtohim，’Lord！Mr——，whatmustIdo？’
’Do！’
sayshe，’sendfortheordinary；sendforaministerandtalk
withhim；for，indeed，Mrs。Flanders，unlessyouhavevery
goodfriends，youarenowomanforthisworld。’
Thiswasplaindealingindeed，butitwasveryharshtome，
atleastIthoughtitso。
Heleftmeinthegreatestconfusion
imaginable，andallthatnightIlayawake。
AndnowIbegan
tosaymyprayers，whichIhadscarcedonebeforesincemy
lasthusband’sdeath，orfromalittlewhileafter。
AndtrulyI
maywellcallitsayingmyprayers，forIwasinsuchaconfusion，
andhadsuchhorroruponmymind，thatthoughIcried，and
repeatedseveraltimestheordinaryexpressionof’Lord，have
mercyuponme！’Ineverbroughtmyselftoanysenseofmy
beingamiserablesinner，asindeedIwas，andofconfessing
mysinstoGod，andbeggingpardonforthesakeofJesus
Christ。
Iwasoverwhelmedwiththesenseofmycondition，
beingtriedformylife，andbeingsuretobecondemned，and
thenIwasassuretobeexecuted，andonthisaccountIcried
outallnight，’Lord，whatwillbecomeofme？
Lord！what
shallIdo？
Lord！Ishallbehanged！
Lord，havemercyupon
me！’andthelike。
EndofPart7
Part8
Mypoorafflictedgovernesswasnowasmuchconcernedas
I，andagreatdealmoretrulypenitent，thoughshehadno
prospectofbeingbroughttotrialandsentence。
Notbutthat
shedeserveditasmuchasI，andsoshesaidherself；butshe
hadnotdoneanythingherselfformanyyears，otherthan
receivingwhatIandothersstole，andencouragingustosteal
it。
Butshecried，andtookonlikeadistractedbody，wringing
herhands，andcryingoutthatshewasundone，thatshe
believedtherewasacursefromheavenuponher，thatshe
shouldbedamned，thatshehadbeenthedestructionofallher
friends，thatshehadbroughtsuchaone，andsuchaone，and
suchaonetothegallows；andthereshereckoneduptenor
elevenpeople，someofwhichIhavegivenaccountof，that
cametountimelyends；andthatnowshewastheoccasion
ofmyruin，forshehadpersuadedmetogoon，whenIwould
haveleftoff。
Iinterruptedherthere。
’No，mother，no，’saidI，
’don’tspeakofthat，foryouwouldhavehadmeleftoffwhen
Igotthemercer’smoneyagain，andwhenIcamehomefrom
Harwich，andIwouldnothearkentoyou；thereforeyouhave
notbeentoblame；itisIonlyhaveruinedmyself，Ihave
broughtmyselftothismisery’；andthuswespentmanyhours
together。
Well，therewasnoremedy；theprosecutionwenton，andon
theThursdayIwascarrieddowntothesessions-house，where
Iwasarraigned，astheycalledit，andthenextdayIwas
appointedtobetried。
AtthearraignmentIpleaded’Notguilty，’
andwellImight，forIwasindictedforfelonyandburglary；
thatis，forfeloniouslystealingtwopiecesofbrocadedsilk，
value#46，thegoodsofAnthonyJohnson，andforbreaking
openhisdoors；whereasIknewverywelltheycouldnot
pretendtoproveIhadbrokenupthedoors，orsomuchas
liftedupalatch。
OntheFridayIwasbroughttomytrial。
Ihadexhaustedmy
spiritswithcryingfortwoorthreedaysbefore，sothatIslept
bettertheThursdaynightthanIexpected，andhadmorecourage
formytrialthanindeedIthoughtpossibleformetohave。
Whenthetrialbegan，theindictmentwasread，Iwouldhave
spoke，buttheytoldmethewitnessesmustbeheardfirst，and
thenIshouldhavetimetobeheard。
Thewitnesseswerethe
twowenches，acoupleofhard-mouthedjadesindeed，for
thoughthethingwastruthinthemain，yettheyaggravatedit
totheutmostextremity，andsworeIhadthegoodswhollyin
mypossession，thatIhadhidthemamongmyclothes，thatI
wasgoingoffwiththem，thatIhadonefootoverthethreshold
whentheydiscoveredthemselves，andthenIputt’otherover，
sothatIwasquiteoutofthehouseinthestreetwiththegoods
beforetheytookholdofme，andthentheyseizedme，and
broughtmebackagain，andtheytookthegoodsuponme。
The
factingeneralwasalltrue，butIbelieve，andinsisteduponit，
thattheystoppedmebeforeIhadsetmyfootclearofthe
thresholdofthehouse。
Butthatdidnotarguemuch，forcertain
itwasthatIhadtakenthegoods，andIwasbringingthemaway，
ifIhadnotbeentaken。
ButIpleadedthatIhadstolenothing，theyhadlostnothing，
thatthedoorwasopen，andIwentin，seeingthegoodslie
there，andwithdesigntobuy。