IshallneverforgetmyfirstintroductiontocountrylifeinIreland,myfirstday’shuntingthere,orthemannerinwhichI
passedtheeveningafterwards。NorshallIeverceasetobegratefulforthehospitalitywhichIreceivedfromtheO’ConorsofCastleConor。Myacquaintancewiththefamilywasfirstmadeinthefollowingmanner。ButbeforeIbeginmystory,letmeinformmyreaderthatmynameisArchibaldGreen。
IhadbeenforafortnightinDublin,andwasabouttoproceedintocountyMayoonbusinesswhichwouldoccupymethereforsomeweeks。
Myhead—quarterswould,Ifound,beatthetownofBallyglass;andI
soonlearnedthatBallyglasswasnotaplaceinwhichIshouldfindhotelaccommodationofaluxuriouskind,ormuchcongenialsocietyindigenoustotheplaceitself。
\"Butyouareahuntingman,yousay,\"saidoldSirP—C—;\"andinthatcaseyouwillsoonknowTomO’Conor。Tomwon’tletyoubedull。
I’dwriteyoualettertoTom,onlyhe’llcertainlymakeyououtwithoutmytakingthetrouble。\"
Ididthinkatthetimethattheoldbaronetmighthavewrittentheletterforme,ashehadbeenafriendofmyfather’sinformerdays;
buthedidnot,andIstartedforBallyglasswithnootherintroductiontoanyoneinthecountythanthatcontainedinSirP—’spromisethatIshouldsoonknowMr。ThomasO’Conor。
Ihadalreadyprovidedmyselfwithahorse,groom,saddleandbridle,andtheseIsentdown,enavant,thattheBallyglassiansmightknowthatIwassomebody。Perhaps,beforeIarrivedTomO’Conormightlearnthatahuntingmanwascomingintotheneighbourhood,andI
mightfindattheinnapolitenoteintimatingthatabedwasatmyserviceatCastleConor。IhadheardsomuchofthefreehospitalityoftheIrishgentryastoimaginethatsuchathingmightbepossible。
ButIfoundnothingofthekind。HuntinggentlemeninthosedayswereverycommonincountyMayo,andonehorsewasnogreatevidenceofaman’sstandingintheworld。MenthereasIlearntafterwards,aresoughtforthemselvesquiteasmuchastheyareelsewhere;andthoughmygroom’stop—bootswereneat,andmyhorseaverytidyanimal,myentryintoBallyglasscreatednosensationwhatever。
Inaboutfourdaysaftermyarrival,whenIwasalreadyinfinitelydisgustedwiththelittlePot—houseinwhichIwasforcedtostay,andhadmadeupmymindthatthepeopleincountyMayowereachurlishset,Isentmyhorseontoameetofthefox—hounds,andfollowedaftermyselfonanopencar。
Noonebutanerraticfox—huntersuchasIam,——afox—hunter,Imean,whoselotithasbeentowanderaboutfromonepackofhoundstoanother,——canunderstandthemelancholyfeelingwhichamanhaswhenhefirstintrudeshimself,unknownbyanyone,amonganentirelynewsetofsportsmen。Whenastrangerfallsthusasitwereoutofthemoonintoahunt,itisimpossiblethatmenshouldnotstareathimandaskwhoheis。Anditissodisagreeabletobestaredat,andtohavesuchquestionsasked!ThisfeelingdoesnotcomeuponamaninLeicestershireorGloucestershirewherethenumbersarelarge,andastrangerortwowillalwaysbeoverlooked,butinsmallhuntingfieldsitissopainfulthatamanhastopluckupmuchcouragebeforeheencountersit。
WemetonthemorninginquestionatBingham’sGrove。Therewerenotabovetwelveorfifteenmenout,allofwhom,ornearlyallwerecousinstoeachother。TheyseemedtobeallToms,andPats,andLarrys,andMicks。Iwasdoneupveryknowinglyinpink,andthoughtthatIlookedquitethething,butfortwoorthreehoursnobodynoticedme。
Ihadmyeyesaboutme,however,andsoonfoundoutwhichofthemwasTomO’Conor。Hewasafine—lookingfellow,thinandtall,butnotlargelymade,withapiercinggrayeye,andabeautifulvoiceforspeakingtoahound。Hehadtwosonstherealso,short,slightfellows,butexquisitehorsemen。IalreadyfeltthatIhadakindofacquaintancewiththefather,butIhardlyknewonwhatgroundtoputinmyclaim。
Wehadnosportearlyinthemorning。ItwasacoldbleakFebruaryday,withoccasionalstormsofsleet。Werodefromcovertocover,butallinvain。\"Iamsorry,sir,thatwearetohavesuchabadday,asyouareastrangerhere,\"saidonegentlemantome。ThiswasJackO’Conor,Tom’seldestson,mybosomfriendformanyayearafter。PoorJack!IfearthattheEncumberedEstatesCourtsenthimaltogetheradriftupontheworld。
\"WemaystillhavearunfromPoulnaroe,ifthegentlemanchoosestocomeon,\"saidavoicecomingfrombehindwithasharptrot。ItwasTomO’Conor。
\"Whereverthehoundsgo,I’llfollow,\"saidI。
\"ThencomeontoPoulnaroe,\"saidMr。O’Conor。Itrottedonquicklybyhisside,andbeforewereachedthecoverhadmanagedtoslipinsomethingaboutSirP。C。
\"Whatthedeuce!\"saidhe。\"What!afriendofSirP—’s?Whythedeucedidn’tyoutellmeso?Whatareyoudoingdownhere?Whereareyoustaying?\"&c。&c。&c。
AtPoulnaroewefoundafox,butbeforewedidsoMr。O’ConorhadaskedmeovertoCastleConor。Andthishedidinsuchawaythattherewasnopossibilityofrefusinghim——or,Ishouldrathersay,ofdisobeyinghim。Forhisinvitationcamequiteinthetoneofacommand。
\"You’llcometousofcoursewhenthedayisover——andletmesee;
we’renearBallyglassnow,buttherunwillberightawayinourdirection。JustsendwordforthemtosendyourthingstoCastleConor。\"
\"Butthey’reallabout,andunpacked,\"saidI。
\"Nevermind。Writeanoteandsaywhatyouwantnow,andgoandgettherestto—morrowyourself。Here,Patsey!——Patsey!runintoBallyglassforthisgentlemanatonce。Nowdon’tbelong,forthechancesareweshallfindhere。\"Andthen,aftergivingsomefurtherhurriedinstructionsheleftmetowritealineinpenciltotheinnkeeper’swifeonthebackofaditch。
ThisIaccordinglydid。\"Sendmysmallportmanteau,\"Isaid,\"andallmyblackdressclothes,andshirts,andsocks,andallthat,andaboveallmydressingthingswhichareonthelittletable,andthesatinneck—handkerchief,andwhateveryoudo,mindyousendmyPUMPS;\"andIunderscoredthelatterword;forJackO’Conor,whenhisfatherleftme,wentonpressingtheinvitation。\"Mysistersaregoingtogetupadance,\"saidhe;\"andifyouarefondofthatkindofthingsperhapswecanamuseyou。\"NowinthosedaysIwasveryfondofdancing——andveryfondofyoungladiestoo,andthereforegladenoughtolearnthatTomO’Conorhaddaughtersaswellassons。
OnthisaccountIwasveryparticularinunderscoringthewordpumps。
\"Andhurry,youyoungdivil,\"JackO’ConorsaidtoPatsey。
\"Ihavetoldhimtotaketheportmanteauoveronacar,\"saidI。
\"Allright;thenyou’llfinditthereonourarrival。\"
Wehadanexcellentrun,inwhichImaymakeboldtosaythatIdidnotacquitmyselfbadly。Istuckveryclosetothehounds,asdidthewholeoftheO’Conorbrood;andwhenthefellowcontrivedtoearthhimself,ashedid,Ireceivedthosecomplimentsonmyhorse,whichisthemostapprovedpraisewhichonefox—hunterevergivestoanother。
\"We’llbuythatfellowofyoubeforeweletyougo,\"saidPeter,theyoungestson。
\"Iadviseyoutolooksharpafteryourmoneyifyousellhimtomybrother,\"saidJack。
AndthenwetrottedslowlyofftoCastleConor,which,however,wasbynomeansneartous。\"Wehavetenmilestogo;——goodIrishmiles,\"saidthefather。\"Idon’tknowthatIeverrememberafoxfromPoulnaroetakingthatlinebefore。\"
\"Hewasn’taPoulnaroefox,\"saidPeter。
\"Idon’tknowthat;\"saidJack;andthentheydebatedthatquestionhotly。
Ourhorseswereverytired,anditwaslatebeforewereachedMr。
O’Conor’shouse。Thatgettinghomefromhuntingwithathoroughlywearyanimal,whohasnolongersympathyorexampletocarryhimon,isverytediouswork。InthepresentinstanceIhadcompanywithme;
butwhenamanisalone,whenhishorsetoesateverytensteps,whenthenightisdarkandtherainpouring,andthereareyeteightmilesofroadtobeconquered,——atsuchtimeamanisalmostapttoswearthathewillgiveuphunting。
AtlastwewereintheCastleConorstableyard;——forwehadapproachedthehousebysomebackway;andasweenteredthehousebyadoorleadingthroughawildernessofbackpassages,Mr。O’Conorsaidoutloud,\"Now,boys,rememberIsitdowntodinnerintwentyminutes。\"Andthenturningexpresslytome,helaidhishandkindlyuponmyshoulderandsaid,\"IhopeyouwillmakeyourselfquiteathomeatCastleConor,andwhateveryoudo,don’tkeepuswaitingfordinner。Youcandressintwentyminutes,Isuppose?\"
\"Inten!\"saidI,glibly。
\"That’swell。JackandPeterwillshowyouyourroom,\"andsoheturnedawayandleftus。
Mytwoyoungfriendsmadetheirwayintothegreathall,andthenceintothedrawing—room,andIfollowedthem。Wewerealldressedinpink,andhadwadeddeepthroughbogandmud。IdidnotexactlyknowwhitherIwasbeingledinthisguise,butIsoonfoundmyselfinthepresenceoftwoyoungladies,andofagirlaboutthirteenyearsofage。
\"Mysisters,\"saidJack,introducingmeverylaconically;\"MissO’Conor,MissKateO’Conor,MissTizzyO’Conor。\"
\"MynameisnotTizzy,\"saidtheyounger;\"it’sEliza。Howdoyoudo,sir?Ihopeyouhadafinehunt!Waspapawellup,Jack?\"
Jackdidnotcondescendtoanswerthisquestion,butaskedoneoftheeldergirlswhetheranythinghadcome,andwhetheraroomhadbeenmadereadyforme。
\"Ohyes!\"saidMissO’Conor;\"theycame,Iknow,forIsawthembroughtintothehouse;andIhopeMr。Greenwillfindeverythingcomfortable。\"AsshesaidthisIthoughtIsawaslightsmilestealacrossherremarkablyprettymouth。
Theywerebothexceedinglyprettygirls。Fannytheelderworelongglossycurls,——forIwrite,ohreader,ofbygonedays,aslongagoasthat,whenladiesworecurlsifitpleasedthemsotodo,andgentlemendancedinpumps,withblackhandkerchiefsroundtheirnecks,——yes,longblack,ornearlyblacksilkencurls;andthenshehadsucheyes;——Ineverknewwhethertheyweremostwickedormostbright;andherfacewasalldimples,andeachdimplewasladenwithlaughterandladenwithlove。Katewasprobablytheprettiergirlofthetwo,butonthewholenotsoattractive。Shewasfairerthanhersister,andworeherhairinbraids;andwasalsosomewhatmoredemureinhermanner。
InspiteofthespecialinjunctionsofMr。O’Conorsenior,itwasimpossiblenottoloiterforfiveminutesoverthedrawing—roomfiretalkingtothesehouris——moreespeciallyasIseemedtoknowthemintimatelybyintuitionbeforehalfofthefiveminuteswasover。
Theyweresoeasy,sopretty,sograceful,sokind,theyseemedtotakeitsomuchasamatterofcoursethatIshouldstandtheretalkinginmyredcoatandmuddyboots。
\"Well;dogoanddressyourselves,\"atlastsaidFanny,pretendingtospeaktoherbrothersbutlookingmoreespeciallyame。\"Youknowhowmadpapawillbe。AndrememberMr。Green,weexpectgreatthingsfromyourdancingto—night。YourcomingjustatthistimeissuchaGodsend。\"Andagainthatsoupconofasmilepassedoverherface。
Ihurrieduptomyroom,PeterandJackcomingwithmetothedoor。
\"Iseverythingright?\"saidPeter,lookingamongthetowelsandwater—jugs。\"They’vegivenyouadecentfireforawonder,\"saidJack,stirringuptheredhotturfwhichblazedinthegrate。\"Allrightasatrivet,\"saidI。\"Andlookalivelikeagoodfellow,\"
saidJack。Wehadscowledateachotherinthemorningasveryyoungmendowhentheyarestrangers;andnow,afterafewhours,wewereintimatefriends。
Iimmediatelyturnedtomywork,andwasgratifiedtofindthatallmythingswerelaidoutreadyfordressing;myportmanteauhadofcoursecomeopen,asmykeyswereinmypocket,andthereforesomeoftheexcellentservantsofthehousehadbeenabletosavemeallthetroubleofunpacking。Therewasmyshirthangingbeforethefire;myblackclotheswerespreaduponthebed,mysocksandcollarandhandkerchiefbesidethem;mybrusheswereonthetoilettable,andeverythingpreparedexactlyasthoughmyownmanhadbeenthere。Hownice!
Iimmediatelywenttoworkatgettingoffmyspursandboots,andthenproceededtoloosenthebuttonsatmyknees。IndoingthisI
satdowninthearm—chairwhichhadbeendrawnupforme,oppositethefire。Butwhatwastheobjectonwhichmyeyesthenfell;——theobjectsIshouldrathersay!
Immediatelyinfrontofmychairwasplaced,justreadyformayfeet,anenormouspairofshooting—boots——half—bootsmadetolaceuproundtheankles,withthickdoubleleathersoles,andeachbearinghalfastoneofironintheshapeofnailsandheel—pieces。IhadsuperintendedthemakingoftheseshoesinBurlingtonArcadewiththegreatestdiligence。Iwasneveragoodshot;and,likesomeothersportsmen,intendedtomakeupformydeficiencyinperformancebytheexcellenceofmyshootingapparel。\"Thosenailsarenotlargeenough,\"Ihadsaid;\"nornearlylargeenough。\"Butwhenthebootscamehometheystruckevenmeasbeingtooheavy,toometalsome。
\"He,he,he,\"laughedthebootboyasheturnedthemupformetolookat。Itmaythereforebeimaginedofwhatnaturewerethearticleswhichwerethussetoutfortheevening’sdancing。
Andthenthewayinwhichtheywereplaced!WhenIsawthistheconvictionflewacrossmymindlikeaflashoflightningthatthepreparationhadbeenmadeunderothereyesthanthoseoftheservant。
Theheavybigbootswereplacedsoprettilybeforethechair,andthestringsofeachweremadetodangledownatthesides,asthoughjustreadyfortying!Theyseemedtosay,thebootsdid,\"Now,makehaste。Weatanyrateareready——youcannotsaythatyouwerekeptwaitingforus。\"Nomereservant’shandhadeverenabledapairofbootstolaughatonesocompletely。
ButwhatwasItodo?Irushedatthesmallportmanteau,thinkingthatmypumpsalsomightbethere。Thewomansurelycouldnothavebeensuchafoolastosendmethosetonsofironformyeveningwear!But,alas,alas!nopumpswerethere。Therewasnothingelseinthewayofcoveringformyfeet;notevenapairofslippers。
AndnowwhatwasItodo?Theabsolutemagnitudeofmymisfortuneonlyloomeduponmebydegrees。ThetwentyminutesallowedbythatsternoldpaterfamiliaswerealreadygoneandIhaddonenothingtowardsdressing。AndindeeditwasimpossiblethatIshoulddoanythingthatwouldbeofavail。Icouldnotgodowntodinnerinmystockingfeet,norcouldIputonmyblackdresstrousers,overapairofmud—paintedtop—boots。Asforthoseiron—soledhorrors——;
andthenIgaveoneofthemakickwiththesideofmybarefootwhichsentithalfwayunderthebed。
ButwhatwasItodo?Ibeganwashingmyselfandbrushingmyhairwiththishorridweightuponmymind。Myfirstplanwastogotobed,andsenddownwordthatIhadbeentakensuddenlyillinthestomach;thentoriseearlyinthemorningandgetawayunobserved。
ButbysuchacourseofactionIshouldloseallchanceofanyfurtheracquaintancewiththoseprettygirls!Thattheywerealreadyawareoftheextentofmypredicament,andwerenowenjoyingit——ofthatIwasquitesure。
WhatifIboldlyputontheshooting—boots,andclattereddowntodinnerinthem?WhatifItookthebullbythehorns,andmade,myself,themostofthejoke?Thismightbeverywellforthedinner,butitwouldbeabadjokeformewhenthehourfordancingcame。And,alas!IfeltthatIlackedthecourage。Itisnoteverymanthatcanwalkdowntodinner,inastrangehousefullofladies,wearingsuchbootsasthoseIhavedescribed。
ShouldInotattempttoborrowapair?This,alltheworldwillsay,shouldhavebeenmyfirstidea。ButIhavenotyetmentionedthatI
ammyselfalarge—bonedman,andthatmyfeetareespeciallywelldeveloped。IhadneverforamomententertainedahopethatIshouldfindanyoneinthathousewhosebootIcouldwear。ButatlastI
rangthebell。IwouldsendforJack,andifeverythingfailed,I
wouldcommunicatemygrieftohim。
Ihadtoringtwicebeforeanybodycame。Theservants,Iwellknew,wereputtingthedinneronthetable。Atlastamanenteredtheroom,dressedinrathershabbyblack,whomIafterwardslearnedtobethebutler。
\"Whatisyourname,myfriend?\"saidI,determinedtomakeanallyoftheman。
\"Myname?WhyLarrysure,yerhoner。Andthemastherisoutofhissinsesinahurry,becaseyerhonerdon’tcomedown。\"
\"Ishethough?Wellnow,Larry;tellmethis;whichofallthegentlemeninthehousehasgotthelargestfoot?\"
\"Isitthelargestfoot,yerhoner?\"saidLarry,altogethersurprisedbymyquestion。
\"Yes;thelargestfoot,\"andthenIproceededtoexplaintohimmymisfortune。Hetookupfirstmytop—boot,andthentheshooting—
boot——inlookingatwhichhegazedwithwonderatthenails;——andthenheglancedatmyfeet,measuringthemwithhiseye;andafterthishepronouncedhisopinion。
\"Yerhonercouldn’twearamorselofleatherbelongingtoereaoneof’em,youngorould。ThereniverwasafootlikethatyetamongtheO’Conors。\"
\"Butaretherenostrangersstayinghere?\"
\"There’sthreeorfouron’emcomeintodinner;butthey’llbewantingtheirownbootsI’mthinking。Andthere’syoungMistherDillon;he’scometostay。ButLordloveyou——\"andheagainlookedattheenormousextentwhichlaybetweentheheelandthetoeoftheshootingapparatuswhichhestillheldinhishand。\"Iniverseesuchafootasthatinthewholebarony,\"hesaid,\"barringmyown。\"
NowLarrywasalargeman,muchlargeraltogetherthanmyself,andashesaidthisIlookeddowninvoluntarilyathisfeet;orratherathisfoot,forashestoodIcouldonlyseeone。Andthenasuddenhopefilledmyheart。Onthatfootthereglitteredashoe——notindeedsuchasweremyownwhichwerenowrestingingloriouslyatBallyglasswhiletheyweresosorelyneededatCastleConor;butonewhichIcouldwearbeforeladies,withoutshame——andinmypresentframeofmindwithinfinitecontentment。
\"Letmelookatthatoneofyourown,\"saidItotheman,asthoughitweremerelyasubjectforexperimentalinquiry。Larry,accustomedtoobedience,tookofftheshoeandhandedittome。
Myownfootwasimmediatelyinit,andIfoundthatitfittedmelikeaglove。
\"Andnowtheother,\"saidI——notsmiling,forasmilewouldhaveputhimonhisguard;butsomewhatsternly,sothatthathabitofobedienceshouldnotdeserthimatthisperilousmoment。AndthenI
stretchedoutmyhand。
\"Butyerhonercan’tkeep’em,youknow,\"saidhe。\"Ihaven’ttheghostofanothershoetomyfeet。\"ButIonlylookedmoresternlythanbefore,andstillheldoutmyhand。Customprevailed。Larrystoopeddownslowly,lookingatmethewhile,andpullingofftheotherslipperhandedittomewithmuchhesitation。Alas!asIputittomyfootIfoundthatitwasold,andworn,andirredeemablydownatheel;——thatitwasinfactnocounterpartatalltothatotheronewhichwastododutyasitsfellow。ButneverthelessIputmyfootintoit,andfeltthatadescenttothedrawing—roomwasnowpossible。
\"Butyerhonerwillgive’embacktoapoorman?\"saidLarryalmostcrying。\"Themasther’smadthisminutebecasethedinner’snotup。
GlorytoGod,onlylisthentothat!\"Andashespokeatremendouspealrangoutfromsomebelldownstairsthathadevidentlybeenshakenbyanangryhand。
\"Larry,\"saidI——andIendeavouredtoassumealookofverygraveimportanceasIspoke——\"Ilooktoyoutoassistmeinthismatter。\"
\"Och——wirrasthruethen,andwillyouletmego?justlisthentothat,\"andanotherangrypealrangout,loudandrepeated。
\"IfyoudoasIaskyou,\"Icontinued,\"youshallbewellrewarded。
Lookhere;lookattheseboots,\"andIhelduptheshooting—shoesnewfromBurlingtonArcade。\"Theycostthirtyshillings——thirtyshillings!andIwillgivethemtoyoufortheloanofthispairofslippers。\"
\"They’dbenouseatalltome,yerhoner;notthelaistuseinlife。\"
\"Youcoulddowiththemverywellforto—night,andthenyoucouldsellthem。Andherearetenshillingsbesides,\"andIheldouthalfasovereignwhichthepoorfellowtookintohishand。
Iwaitednofurtherparleybutimmediatelywalkedoutoftheroom。
WithonefootIwassufficientlypleased。AsregardedthatIfeltthatIhadovercomemydifficulty。Buttheotherwasnotsosatisfactory。WheneverIattemptedtoliftitfromthegroundthehorridslipperwouldfalloff,oronlyjusthangbythetoe。Asfordancing,thatwouldbeoutofthequestion。
\"Och,murther,murther,\"sangoutLarry,asheheardmegoingdownstairs。\"WhatwillIdoatall?Tareand’ounds;there,he’satitagin,asmadasblazes。\"Thislastexclamationhadreferencetoanotherpealwhichwasevidentlytheworkofthemaster’shand。
IconfessIwasnotquitecomfortableasIwalkeddownstairs。InthefirstplaceIwasnearlyhalfanhourlate,andIknewfromthevigourofthepealsthathadsoundedthatmyslownesshadalreadybeenmadethesubjectofstrongremarks。Andthenmyleftshoewentflop,flop,oneveryalternatestepofthestairs。BynoexertionofmyfootinthedrawingupofmytoecouldIinduceittoremainpermanentlyfixeduponmyfoot。ButoverandaboveandworsethanallthiswastheconvictionstronguponmymindthatIshouldbecomeasubjectofmerrimenttothegirlsassoonasIenteredtheroom。
Theywouldunderstandthecauseofmydistress,andprobablyatthismomentwereexpectingtohearmeclatterthroughthestonehallwiththoseodiousmetalboots。
However,Ihurrieddownandenteredthedrawing—room,determinedtokeepmypositionnearthedoor,sothatImighthaveaslittleaspossibletodoonenteringandaslittleaspossibleingoingout。
ButIhadotherdifficultiesinstoreforme。IhadnotasyetbeenintroducedtoMrs。O’Conor;nortoMissO’Conor,thesquire’sunmarriedsister。
\"UponmywordIthoughtyouwerenevercoming,\"saidMr。O’Conorassoonashesawme。\"Itisjustonehoursinceweenteredthehouse。
Jack,IwishyouwouldfindoutwhathascometothatfellowLarry,\"
andagainherangthebell。Hewastooangry,oritmightbetooimpatienttogothroughtheceremonyofintroducingmetoanybody。