VII
InSpring,SantaBarbaraIhavebeenhappytwoweekstogether,Myloveiscominghometome,GoldandsilveristheweatherAndsmoothaslapisisthesea。
TheearthhasturneditsbrowntogreenAfterthreenightsofhummingrain,AndinthevalleyspeckandpreenLinnetswithascarletstain。
HighinthemountainsallaloneThewildswanswhistleonthelakes,ButIhavebeenasstillasstone,Myheartsingsonlywhenitbreaks。
WhiteFogHeaven—invadinghillsaredrownedInwidemovingwavesofmist,PhloxbeforemydoorarewoundIndrippingwreathsofamethyst。
TenfeetawaythesolidearthChangesintomeltingcloud,Thereisahushofpainandmirth,Nobirdhashearttospeakaloud。
Hereinaworldwithoutasky,Withouttheground,withoutthesea,TheoneunchangingthingisI,Myselfremainstocomfortme。
ArcturusArcturusbringsthespringbackAssurelynowaswhenHeroseoneasternislandsForGreciangirlsandmen;
Thetwilightisasclearablue,Thestarasshakenandasbright,AndthesamethoughthegavetothemHegivestometo—night。
MoonlightItwillnothurtmewhenIamold,ArunningtidewheremoonlightburnedWillnotstingmelikesilversnakes;
Theyearswillmakemesadandcold,Itisthehappyheartthatbreaks。
Theheartasksmorethanlifecangive,Whenthatislearned,thenallislearned;
Thewavesbreakfoldonjewelledfold,Butbeautyitselfisfugitive,ItwillnothurtmewhenIamold。
MorningSongAdiamondofamorningWakedmeanhourtoosoon;
DawnhadtakeninthestarsAndleftthefaintwhitemoon。
Owhitemoon,youarelonely,Itisthesamewithme,Butwehavetheworldtoroamover,Onlythelonelyarefree。
GrayFogAfogdriftsin,theheavyladenColdwhiteghostofthesea——
Onebyonethehillsgoout,Theroadandthepepper—tree。
IwatchthefogfloatinatthewindowWiththewholeworldgoneblind,Everything,evenmylonging,drowses,Eventhethoughtsinmymind。
Iputmyheadonmyhandsbeforeme,Thereisnothinglefttobedoneorsaid,Thereisnothingtohopefor,Iamtired,Andheavyasthedead。
BellsAtsixo’clockofanautumnduskWiththeskyinthewestarustyred,ThebellsofthemissiondowninthevalleyCryoutthatthedayisdead。
Thefirststarpricksassharpassteel——
WhyamIsuddenlysocold?
Threebells,eachwithaseparatesoundClanginthevalley,wearilytolled。
BellsinVenice,bellsatsea,Bellsinthevalleyheavyandslow——
ThereisnoplaceoverthecrowdedworldWhereIcanforgetthatthedaysgo。
LovelyChanceOlovelychance,whatcanIdoTogivemygratefulnesstoyou?
YourisebetweenmyselfandmeWithawisepersistency;
Iwouldhavebrokenbodyandsoul,Butbyyourgrace,stillIamwhole。
Manyathingyoudidtosaveme,Manyaholygiftyougaveme,MusicandfriendsandhappyloveMorethanmydearestdreamingof;
AndnowinthiswidetwilighthourWithearthandheavenadark,blueflower,InahumblemoodIblessYourwisdom——andyourwaywardness。
Youbroughtmeevenhere,whereI
LiveonahillagainsttheskyAndlookonmountainsandtheseaAndathinwhitemooninthepeppertree。
VIII
\"ThereWillComeSoftRains\"
(WarTime)
Therewillcomesoftrainsandthesmelloftheground,Andswallowscirclingwiththeirshimmeringsound;
Andfrogsinthepoolssingingatnight,Andwildplum—treesintremulouswhite;
RobinswillweartheirfeatheryfireWhistlingtheirwhimsonalowfence—wire;
Andnotonewillknowofthewar,notoneWillcareatlastwhenitisdone。
Notonewouldmind,neitherbirdnortreeIfmankindperishedutterly;
AndSpringherself,whenshewokeatdawn,Wouldscarcelyknowthatweweregone。
InaGardenTheworldisrestingwithoutsoundormotion,BehindtheappletreethesungoesdownPaintingwithfirethespiresandthewindowsIntheelm—shadedtown。
BeyondthecalmConnecticutthehillslieSilveredwithhazeasfruitsstillfreshwithbloom,TheswallowsweaveinflightacrossthezenithOnanaerialloom。
Intothegardenpeacecomesbackwithtwilight,Peacethatsincenoonhadleftthepurplephlox,Theheavy—headedasters,thelaterosesAndswayinghollyhocks。
Forathigh—noonIheardfromthissamegardenThefar—offmurmuraswhenmanycome;
UpfromthevillagesurgedtheblindandbeatingRedmusicofadrum;
AndthehystericalsharpfifethatshatteredThebrittleautumnair,Whiletheycame,theyoungmenmarchingPastthevillagesquare……
AcrossthecalmConnecticutthehillschangeToviolet,theveilsofduskaredeep——
Earthtakesherchildren’smanysorrowscalmlyAndstillsherselftosleep。
NahantBowedasanelmundertheweightofitsbeauty,Soearthisbowed,underherweightofsplendor,Moltensea,richnessofleavesandtheburnishedBronzeofsea—grasses。
Cleftsinthecliffshelterthepurplesand—peasAndchicoryflowersbluerthantheoceanFlingingitsfoamhigh,whitefireinsunshine,Jewelsofwater。
Joyousthunderofblownwavesontheledges,Makemeforgetwarandthedarkwar—sorrow——
Againsttheskyasentrypacesthesea—cliffSliminhiskhaki。
WinterStarsIwentoutatnightalone;
TheyoungbloodflowingbeyondtheseaSeemedtohavedrenchedmyspirit’swings——
Iboremysorrowheavily。
ButwhenIliftedupmyheadFromshadowsshakenonthesnow,IsawOrionintheeastBurnsteadilyaslongago。
Fromwindowsinmyfather’shouse,Dreamingmydreamsonwinternights,IwatchedOrionasagirlAboveanothercity’slights。
Yearsgo,dreamsgo,andyouthgoestoo,Theworld’sheartbreaksbeneathitswars,Allthingsarechanged,saveintheeastThefaithfulbeautyofthestars。
ABoyOutofthenoiseoftiredpeopleworking,Harriedwiththoughtsofwarandlistsofdead,Hisbeautymetmelikeafreshwindblowing,Cleanboyishbeautyandhigh—heldhead。
Eyesthattoldsecrets,lipsthatwouldnottellthem,Fearlessandshytheyoungunweariedeyes——
Mendiebymillionsnow,becauseGodblunders,Yettohavemadethisboyhemustbewise。
WinterDuskIwatchthegreatcleartwilightVeilingtheice—bowedtrees;
TheirbranchestinklefaintlyWithcrystalmelodies。
ThelarchesbendtheirsilverOverthehushofsnow;
Onestarislightedinthewest,Twointhezenithglow。
ForamomentIhaveforgottenWarsandwomenwhomourn——
IthinkofthemotherwhoboremeAndthankherthatIwasborn。
BytheSeaIX
TheUnchangingSun—sweptbeacheswithalightwindblowingFromtheimmensebluecircleofthesea,Andthesoftthunderwherelongwaveswhiten——
ThesewerethesameforSapphoasforme。
Twothousandyears——muchhasgonebyforever,Changetakesthegodsandshipsandspeechofmen——
ButhereonthebeachesthattimepassesoverTheheartachesnowasthen。
JuneNightOhEarth,youaretoodearto—night,HowcanIsleepwhileallaroundFloatsrainyfragranceandthefarDeepvoiceoftheoceanthattalkstotheground?
OhEarth,yougavemeallIhave,Iloveyou,Iloveyou,——ohwhathaveI
ThatIcangiveyouinreturn——
ExceptmybodyafterIdie?
\"LikeBarleyBending\"
LikebarleybendingInlowfieldsbythesea,SinginginhardwindCeaselessly;
LikebarleybendingAndrisingagain,SowouldI,unbroken,Risefrompain;
SowouldIsoftly,Daylong,nightlong,ChangemysorrowIntosong。
\"OhDayofFireandSun\"
Ohdayoffireandsun,Pureasanakedflame,Bluesea,blueskyanddunSandswherehespokemyname;
LaughterandheartssohighThatthespiritflewofffree,LiftingintotheskyDivingintothesea;
OhdayoffireandsunLikeacrystalburning,Slowdaysgoonebyone,Butyouhavenoreturning。
\"IThoughtofYou\"
Ithoughtofyouandhowyoulovethisbeauty,AndwalkingupthelongbeachallaloneIheardthewavesbreakinginmeasuredthunderAsyouandIonceheardtheirmonotone。
Aroundmeweretheechoingdunes,beyondmeThecoldandsparklingsilverofthesea——
WetwowillpassthroughdeathandageslengthenBeforeyouhearthatsoundagainwithme。
OntheDunesIfthereisanylifewhendeathisover,Thesetawnybeacheswillknowmuchofme,Ishallcomeback,asconstantandaschangefulAstheunchanging,many—coloredsea。
Iflifewassmall,ifithasmademescornful,Forgiveme;IshallstraightenlikeaflameInthegreatcalmofdeath,andifyouwantmeStandonthesea—warddunesandcallmyname。
SprayIknewyouthoughtofmeallnight,Iknew,thoughyouwerefaraway;
IfeltyourloveblowovermeAsifadarkwind—rivenseaDrenchedmewithquiveringspray。
TherearesomanywaystoloveAndeachwayhasitsowndelight——
ThenbecontenttocometomeOnlyasspraythebeatingseaDrivesinlandthroughthenight。
IfDeathIsKindPerhapsifDeathiskind,andtherecanbereturning,Wewillcomebacktoearthsomefragrantnight,Andtaketheselanestofindthesea,andbendingBreathethesamehoneysuckle,lowandwhite。
WewillcomedownatnighttotheseresoundingbeachesAndthelonggentlethunderofthesea,HereforasinglehourinthewidestarlightWeshallbehappy,forthedeadarefree。
X
ThoughtsWhenIamallaloneEnvymemost,ThenmythoughtsflutterroundmeInaglimmeringhost;
Somedressedinsilver,Somedressedinwhite,EachlikeataperBlossominglight;
Mostofthemmerry,Someofthemgrave,EachofthemlitheAswillowsthatwave;
Somebearingviolets,Somebearingbay,OnewithaburningroseHiddenaway——
WhenIamallaloneEnvymethen,ForIhavebetterfriendsThanwomenandmen。
FacesPeoplethatImeetandpassInthecity’sbrokenroar,FacesthatIlosesosoonAndhaveneverfoundbefore,DoyouknowhowmuchyoutellInthemeetingofoureyes,HowashamedIam,andsadTohavepiercedyourpoordisguise?
SecretsrushingwithoutsoundCryingfromyourhidingplaces——
Letmego,IcannotbearThesorrowofthepassingfaces。
——Peopleintherestlessstreet,Canitbe,ohcanitbeInthemeetingofoureyesThatyouknowasmuchofme?
Evening:NewYorkBluedustofeveningovermycity,OvertheoceanofroofsandthetalltowersWherethewindow—lights,myriadsandmyriads,Bloomfromthewallslikeclimbingflowers。
Snowfall\"Shecan’tbeunhappy,\"yousaid,\"Thesmilesarelikestarsinhereyes,AndherlaughisthistledownAroundherlowreplies。\"
\"Issheunhappy?\"yousaid——
ButwhohaseverknownAnother’sheartbreak——
Allhecanknowishisown;
Andsheseemshushedtome,AshushedasthoughHerheartwereahunter’sfireSmotheredinsnow。
TheSilentBattle(InMemoryofJ。W。T。Jr。)
HewasasoldierinthatfightWherethereisneitherflagnordrum,AndwithoutsoundofmusketryThestealthyfoemencome。
Yearin,yearout,bydayandnightTheyforcedhimtoaslowretreat,AndforhisgallantfightaloneNofifewasblown,andnodrumbeat。
Inwinterfog,ingatheringmistThegraygrimbattlehaditsend——
AndattheverylastweknewHisenemyhadturnedhisfriend。
TheSanctuaryIfIcouldkeepmyinnermostMeFearless,aloofandfreeOftheleastbreathofloveorhate,AndnotdisconsolateAtthesickloadofsorrowlaidonmen;
IfIcouldkeepasanctuarythereFreeevenofprayer,IfIcoulddothis,then,WithquietcandorasIgrewmorewiseIcouldlookevenatGodwithgraveforgivingeyes。
AtSeaInthepullofthewindIstand,lonely,Onthedeckofaship,rising,falling,Wildnightaroundme,wildwaterunderme,Whippedbythestorm,screamingandcalling。
Earthishostileandtheseahostile,WhydoIlookforaplacetorest?
ImustfightalwaysanddiefightingWithfearanunhealingwoundinmybreast。
DustWhenIwenttolookatwhathadlongbeenhidden,Ajewellaidlongagoinasecretplace,Itrembled,forIthoughttoseeitsdarkdeepfire——
Butonlyapinchofdustblewupinmyface。
IalmostgavemylifelongagoforathingThathasgonetodustnow,stingingmyeyes——
ItisstrangehowoftenaheartmustbebrokenBeforetheyearscanmakeitwise。
TheLongHillImusthavepassedthecrestawhileagoAndnowIamgoingdown——
Strangetohavecrossedthecrestandnottoknow,Butthebrambleswerealwayscatchingthehemofmygown。
AllthemorningIthoughthowproudIshouldbeTostandtherestraightasaqueen,Wrappedinthewindandthesunwiththeworldunderme——
Buttheairwasdull,therewaslittleIcouldhaveseen。
ItwasnearlylevelalongthebeatentrackAndthebramblescaughtinmygown——
Butit’snousenowtothinkofturningback,Therestofthewaywillbeonlygoingdown。
XI
SummerStormThepantherwindLeapsoutofthenight,ThesnakeoflightningIstwistingandwhite,ThelionofthunderRoars——andweSitstillandcontentUnderatree——
WehavemetfatetogetherAndloveandpain,WhyshouldwefearThewrathoftherain!
IntheEndAllthatcouldneverbesaid,Allthatcouldneverbedone,WaitforusatlastSomewherebackofthesun;
AlltheheartbroketoforegoShallbeourswithoutpain,WeshalltakethemaslightlyasgirlsPluckflowersafterrain。
AndwhentheyareoursintheendPerhapsafterallTheskieswillnotopenforusNorheavenbethereatourcall。
\"ItWillNotChange\"
ItwillnotchangenowAftersomanyyears;
LifehasnotbrokenitWithpartingortears;
Deathwillnotalterit,ItwillliveonInallmysongsforyouWhenIamgone。
ChangeRemembermeasIwasthen;
Turnfrommenow,butalwaysseeThelaughingshadowygirlwhostoodAtmidnightbythefloweringtree,WitheyesthatlovehadmadeasbrightAsthetremblingstarsofthesummernight。
Turnfrommenow,butalwayshearThemutedlaughterinthedewOfthatoneyearofyouthwehad,Theonlyyouthweeverknew——
Turnfrommenow,oryouwillseeWhatotheryearshavedonetome。
WaterLiliesIfyouhaveforgottenwaterliliesfloatingOnadarklakeamongmountainsintheafternoonshade,Ifyouhaveforgottentheirwet,sleepyfragrance,Thenyoucanreturnandnotbeafraid。
Butifyouremember,thenturnawayforeverTotheplainsandtheprairieswherepoolsarefarapart,Thereyouwillnotcomeatduskonclosingwaterlilies,Andtheshadowofmountainswillnotfallonyourheart。
\"DidYouNeverKnow?\"
Didyouneverknow,longago,howmuchyoulovedme——
Thatyourlovewouldneverlessenandnevergo?
Youwereyoungthen,proudandfresh—hearted,Youweretooyoungtoknow。
Fateisawind,andredleavesflybeforeitFarapart,farawayinthegustytimeofyear——
Seldomwemeetnow,butwhenIhearyouspeaking,Iknowyoursecret,mydear,mydear。
TheTreasureWhentheyseemysongsTheywillsighandsay,\"Poorsoul,wistfulsoul,Lonelynightandday。\"
TheywillneverknowAllyourloveformeSurerthanthespring,Strongerthanthesea;
HiddenoutofsightLikeamiser’sgoldInforsakenfieldsWherethewindiscold。
TheStormIthoughtofyouwhenIwaswakenedByawindthatmademegladandafraidOftherushing,pouringsoundoftheseaThatthegreattreesmade。
OnethoughtinmymindwentoverandoverWhilethedarknessshookandtheleaveswerethinned——
Ithoughtitwasyouwhohadcometofindme,Youwerethewind。
SongsForMyselfXII
TheTreeOhtobefreeofmyself,Withnothinglefttoremember,TohavemyheartasbareAsatreeinDecember;
Resting,asatreerestsAfteritsleavesaregone,WaitingnomoreforarainatnightNorfortheredatdawn;
Butstill,ohsostillWhilethewindscomeandgo,WithnomorefearofthehardfrostOrthebrightburdenofsnow;
Andheedless,heedlessIfanyonepassandseeOnthewhitepageoftheskyItsthinblacktracery。
AtMidnightNowatlastIhavecometoseewhatlifeis,Nothingiseverended,everythingonlybegun,AndthebravevictoriesthatseemsosplendidAreneverreallywon。
EvenlovethatIbuiltmyspirit’shousefor,Comeslikeabroodingandabaffledguest,Andmusicandmen’spraiseandevenlaughterArenotsogoodasrest。
SongMakingMyheartcriedlikeabeatenchildCeaselesslyallnightlong;
IhadtotakemyowncriesAndthreadthemintoasong。
OnewasacryatblackmidnightAndonewhenthefirstcockcrew——
Myheartwaslikeabeatenchild,Butnooneeverknew。
Life,youhaveputmeinyourdebtAndImustserveyoulong——
Butoh,thedebtisterribleThatmustbepaidinsong。
AloneIamalone,inspiteoflove,InspiteofallItakeandgive——
Inspiteofallyourtenderness,SometimesIamnotgladtolive。
Iamalone,asthoughIstoodOnthehighestpeakofthetiredgrayworld,Aboutmeonlyswirlingsnow,Aboveme,endlessspaceunfurled;
Withearthhiddenandheavenhidden,Andonlymyownspirit’sprideTokeepmefromthepeaceofthoseWhoarenotlonely,havingdied。
RedMaplesInthelastyearIhavelearnedHowfewmenareworthmytrust;
IhaveseenthefriendIlovedStruckbydeathintothedust,AndfearsIneverknewbeforeHaveknockedandknockeduponmydoor——
\"Ishallhopelittleandaskforless,\"
Isaid,\"Thereisnohappiness。\"
Ihavegrownwiseatlast——buthowCanIhidethegleamonthewillow—bough,OrkeepthefragranceoutoftherainNowthatAprilishereagain?
WhenmaplesstandinahazeoffireWhatcanIsaytotheolddesire,WhatshallIdowiththejoyinmeThatisbornoutofagony?
DebtorSolongasmyspiritstillIsgladofbreathAndliftsitsplumesofprideInthedarkfaceofdeath;
WhileIamcuriousstillOfloveandfame,KeepingmyhearttoohighFortheyearstotame,HowcanIquarrelwithfateSinceIcanseeIamadebtortolife,Notlifetome?
TheWindintheHemlockSteelystarsandmoonofbrass,Howmockinglyyouwatchmepass!
YouknowaswellasIhowsoonIshallbeblindtostarsandmoon,Deaftothewindinthehemlocktree,Dumbwhenthebrownearthweighsonme。
WithenviousdarkrageIbear,Stars,yourcoldcomplacentstare;
Heart—brokeninmyhatelookup,Moon,atyourclearimmortalcup,Changingtogoldfromduskyred——
AgeafteragewhenIamdeadTobefilledupwithlight,andthenEmptied,toberefilledagain。
WhathasmandonethatonlyheIsslavetodeath——sobrutallyBeatenbackintotheearthImpatientforhimsincehisbirth?
Ohletmeshutmyeyes,closeoutThesightofstarsandearthandbeShelteredaminutebythistree。
Hemlock,throughyourfragrantboughsTheremovesnoangerandnodoubt,Noenvyofimmortalthings。
Thenight—windmurmursoftheseaWithveiledmusicceaselessly,Thattomyshakenspiritsings。
Fromtheirfrailnesttherobinsrouse,Inyourpungentdarknessstirred,Twitteringalowdrowsyword——
Andmeyoushelter,evenme。
InyourquietnessyouhouseThewind,thewomanandthebird。
YouspeaktomeandIhaveheard:
IfIampeaceful,IshallseeBeauty’sfacecontinually;
FeedingonherwineandbreadIshallbewhollycomforted,ForshecanmakeonedayformeRichasmylosteternity。
[Endoforiginaltext。]
BiographicalNote:
SaraTeasdale(1884—1933):
TeasdalewasborninSt。Louis,Missouri,wheresheattendedaschoolthatwasfoundedbythegrandfatherofanothergreatpoetfromSt。Louis——
T。S。Eliot。ShelaterassociatedherselfmorewithNewYorkCity。
Herfirstbookofpoemswas\"SonnetstoDuse\"(1907),but\"HelenofTroy\"(1911)wasthetruelaunchofhercareer,followedby\"RiverstotheSea\"(1915),\"LoveSongs\"(1917),\"FlameandShadow\"(1920)andmore。Herfinalvolume,\"StrangeVictory\",isconsideredbymanytobepredictiveofhersuicidein1933。
————
FromananthologyofversebyJessieB。Rittenhouse(1913,1917):
\"Teasdale,Sara(Mrs。ErnstB。Filsinger)。BorninSt。Louis,Missouri,August10,1884。Educatedatprivateschools。Sheistheauthorof\"SonnetstoDuse\",1907;\"HelenofTroy,andOtherPoems\",1911;
\"RiverstotheSea\",1915;\"LoveSongs\",1917。Editorof\"TheAnsweringVoice:AHundredLoveLyricsbyWomen\",1917。
MissTeasdaleisalyricpoetofanunusuallypureandspontaneousgift。\"