Why，indeed？WehaveseenhowMrs。Bute，havingthegameinherhands，hadreallyplayedhercardstoowell。
ShehadruledoverMissCrawley’shouseholdutterlyandcompletely，tobeutterlyandcompletelyroutedwhenafavourableopportunityforrebellioncame。Sheandherhousehold，however，consideredthatshehadbeenthevictimofhorribleselfishnessandtreason，andthathersacrificesinMissCrawley’sbehalfhadmetwiththemostsavageingratitude。Rawdon’spromotion，andthehonourablementionmadeofhisnameintheGazette，filledthisgoodChristianladyalsowithalarm。WouldhisauntrelenttowardshimnowthathewasaLieutenant-ColonelandaC。B。？andwouldthatodiousRebeccaoncemoregetintofavour？TheRector’swifewroteasermonforherhusbandaboutthevanityofmilitarygloryandtheprosperityofthewicked，whichtheworthyparsonreadinhisbestvoiceandwithoutunderstandingonesyllableofit。HehadPittCrawleyforoneofhisauditors——Pitt，whohadcomewithhistwohalf-sisterstochurch，which。theoldBaronetcouldnowbynomeansbebroughttofrequent。
SincethedepartureofBeckySharp，thatoldwretchhadgivenhimselfupentirelytohisbadcourses，tothegreatscandalofthecountyandthemutehorrorofhisson。TheribbonsinMissHorrocks’scapbecamemoresplendidthanever。Thepolitefamiliesfledthehallanditsownerinterror。SirPittwentabouttipplingathistenants’houses；anddrankrum-and-waterwiththefarmersatMudburyandtheneighbouringplacesonmarket-days。Hedrovethefamilycoach-and-fourtoSouthamptonwithMissHorrocksinside：andthecountypeopleexpected，everyweek，ashissondidinspeechlessagony，thathismarriagewithherwouldbeannouncedintheprovincialpaper。ItwasindeedarudeburthenforMr。
Crawleytobear。Hiseloquencewaspalsiedatthemissionarymeetings，andotherreligiousassembliesintheneighbourhood，wherehehadbeeninthehabitofpresiding，andofspeakingforhours；forhefelt，whenherose，thattheaudiencesaid，“ThatisthesonoftheoldreprobateSirPitt，whoisverylikelydrinkingatthepublichouseatthisverymoment。”AndoncewhenhewasspeakingofthebenightedconditionofthekingofTimbuctoo，andthenumberofhiswiveswhowerelikewiseindarkness，somegipsymiscreantfromthecrowdasked。”HowmanyisthereatQueen’sCrawley，YoungSquaretoes？”tothesurpriseoftheplatform，andtheruinofMr。Pitt’sspeech。AndthetwodaughtersofthehouseofQueen’sCrawleywouldhavebeenallowedtorunutterlywildforSirPittsworethatnogovernessshouldeverenterintohisdoorsagain，hadnotMr。Crawley，bythreateningtheoldgentleman，forcedthelattertosendthemtoschool。
Meanwhile，aswehavesaid，whateverindividualdifferencestheremightbebetweenthemall，MissCrawley’sdearnephewsandnieceswereunanimousinlovingherandsendinghertokensofaffection。ThusMrs。Butesentguinea-fowls，andsomeremarkablyfinecauliflowers，andaprettypurseorpincushionworkedbyherdarlinggirls，whobeggedtokeepaLITTLEplaceintherecollectionoftheirdearaunt，whileMr。PittsentpeachesandgrapesandvenisonfromtheHall。TheSouthamptoncoachusedtocarrythesetokensofaffectiontoMissCrawleyatBrighton：itusedsometimestoconveyMr。Pittthithertoo：forhisdifferenceswithSirPittcausedMr。Crawleytoabsenthimselfagooddealfromhomenow：andbesides，hehadanattractionatBrightoninthepersonoftheLadyJaneSheepshanks，whoseengagementtoMr。
Crawleyhasbeenformerlymentionedinthishistory。
HerLadyshipandhersisterslivedatBrightonwiththeirmamma，theCountessSouthdown，thatstrong-mindedwomansofavourablyknownintheseriousworld。
AfewwordsoughttobesaidregardingherLadyshipandhernoblefamily，whoareboundbytiesofpresentandfuturerelationshiptothehouseofCrawley。
RespectingthechiefoftheSouthdownfamily，ClementWilliam，fourthEarlofSouthdown，littleneedbetold，exceptthathisLordshipcameintoParliamentasLordWolseyundertheauspicesofMr。Wilberforce，andforatimewasacredittohispoliticalsponsor，anddecidedlyaseriousyoungman。Butwordscannotdescribethefeelingsofhisadmirablemother，whenshelearned，veryshortlyafterhernoblehusband’sdemise，thathersonwasamemberofseveralworldlyclubs，hadlostlargelyatplayatWattier’sandtheCocoaTree；thathehadraisedmoneyonpost-obits，andencumberedthefamilyestate；thathedrovefour-in-hand，andpatronisedthering；andthatheactuallyhadanopera-box，whereheentertainedthemostdangerousbachelorcompany。Hisnamewasonlymentionedwithgroansinthedowager’scircle。
TheLadyEmilywasherbrother’sseniorbymanyyears；andtookconsiderablerankintheseriousworldasauthorofsomeofthedelightfultractsbeforementioned，andofmanyhymnsandspiritualpieces。Amaturespinster，andhavingbutfaintideasofmarriage，herlovefortheblacksoccupiedalmostallherfeelings。Itistoher，I
believe，weowethatbeautifulpoem
Leadustosomesunnyisle，Yonderinthewesterndeep；
Wheretheskiesforeversmile，Andtheblacksforeverweep，&c。
ShehadcorrespondenceswithclericalgentlemeninmostofourEastandWestIndiapossessions；andwassecretlyattachedtotheReverendSilasHornblower，whowastattooedintheSouthSeaIslands。
AsfortheLadyJane，onwhom，asithasbeensaid，Mr。
PittCrawley’saffectionhadbeenplaced，shewasgentle，blushing，silent，andtimid。Inspiteofhisfallingaway，sheweptforherbrother，andwasquiteashamedoflovinghimstill。Evenyetsheusedtosendhimlittlehurriedsmugglednotes，andpopthemintothepostinprivate。
Theonedreadfulsecretwhichweigheduponherlifewas，thatsheandtheoldhousekeeperhadbeentopaySouthdownafurtivevisitathischambersintheAlbany；andfoundhim——Othenaughtydearabandonedwretch！——
smokingacigarwithabottleofCuracaobeforehim。Sheadmiredhersister，sheadoredhermother，shethoughtMr。Crawleythemostdelightfulandaccomplishedofmen，afterSouthdown，thatfallenangel：andhermammaandsister，whowereladiesofthemostsuperiorsort，managedeverythingforher，andregardedherwiththatamiablepity，ofwhichyourreallysuperiorwomanalwayshassuchasharetogiveaway。Hermammaorderedherdresses，herbooks，herbonnets，andherideasforher。
Shewasmadetotakepony-riding，orpiano-exercise，oranyothersortofbodilymedicament，accordingasmyLadySouthdownsawmeet；andherladyshipwouldhavekeptherdaughterinpinaforesuptoherpresentageofsix-and-twenty，butthattheywerethrownoffwhenLadyJanewaspresentedtoQueenCharlotte。
WhentheseladiesfirstcametotheirhouseatBrighton，itwastothemalonethatMr。Crawleypaidhispersonalvisits，contentinghimselfbyleavingacardathisaunt’shouse，andmakingamodestinquiryofMr。Bowlsorhisassistantfootman，withrespecttothehealthoftheinvalid。WhenhemetMissBriggscominghomefromthelibrarywithacargoofnovelsunderherarm，Mr。Crawleyblushedinamannerquiteunusualtohim，ashesteppedforwardandshookMissCrawley’scompanionbythehand。HeintroducedMissBriggstotheladywithwhomhehappenedtobewalking，theLadyJaneSheepshanks，saying，“LadyJane，permitmetointroducetoyoumyaunt’skindestfriendandmostaffectionatecompanion，MissBriggs，whomyouknowunderanothertitle，asauthoressofthedelightful’LyricsoftheHeart，’ofwhichyouaresofond。”LadyJaneblushedtooassheheldoutakindlittlehandtoMissBriggs，andsaidsomethingverycivilandincoherentaboutmamma，andproposingtocallonMissCrawley，andbeinggladtobemadeknowntothefriendsandrelativesofMr。Crawley；
andwithsoftdove-likeeyessalutedMissBriggsastheyseparated，whilePittCrawleytreatedhertoaprofoundcourtlybow，suchashehadusedtoH。H。theDuchessofPumpernickel，whenhewasattacheatthatcourt。
TheartfuldiplomatistanddiscipleoftheMachiavellianBinkie！ItwashewhohadgivenLadyJanethatcopyofpoorBriggs’searlypoems，whichherememberedtohaveseenatQueen’sCrawley，withadedicationfromthepoetesstohisfather’slatewife；andhebroughtthevolumewithhimtoBrighton，readingitintheSouthamptoncoachandmarkingitwithhisownpencil，beforehepresentedittothegentleLadyJane。
Itwashe，too，wholaidbeforeLadySouthdownthegreatadvantageswhichmightoccurfromanintimacybetweenherfamilyandMissCrawley——advantagesbothworldlyandspiritual，hesaid：forMissCrawleywasnowquitealone；themonstrousdissipationandallianceofhisbrotherRawdonhadestrangedheraffectionsfromthatreprobateyoungman；thegreedytyrannyandavariceofMrs。ButeCrawleyhadcausedtheoldladytorevoltagainsttheexorbitantpretensionsofthatpartofthefamily；andthoughhehimselfhadheldoffallhislifefromcultivatingMissCrawley’sfriendship，withperhapsanimproperpride，hethoughtnowthateverybecomingmeansshouldbetaken，bothtosavehersoulfromperdition，andtosecureherfortunetohimselfastheheadofthehouseofCrawley。
Thestrong-mindedLadySouthdownquiteagreedinbothproposalsofherson-in-law，andwasforconvertingMissCrawleyoff-hand。Atherownhome，bothatSouthdownandatTrottermoreCastle，thistallandawfulmissionaryofthetruthrodeaboutthecountryinherbarouchewithoutriders，launchedpacketsoftractsamongthecottagersandtenants，andwouldorderGafferJonestobeconverted，asshewouldorderGoodyHickstotakeaJames’spowder，withoutappeal，resistance，orbenefitofclergy。MyLordSouthdown，herlatehusband，anepilepticandsimple-mindednobleman，wasinthehabitofapprovingofeverythingwhichhisMatildadidandthought。Sothatwhateverchangesherownbeliefmightundergoanditaccommodateditselftoaprodigiousvarietyofopinion，takenfromallsortsofdoctorsamongtheDissentersshehadnottheleastscrupleinorderingallhertenantsandinferiorstofollowandbelieveafterher。ThuswhethershereceivedtheReverendSaundersMcNitre，theScotchdivine；ortheReverendLukeWaters，themildWesleyan；ortheReverendGilesJowls，theilluminatedCobbler，whodubbedhimselfReverendasNapoleoncrownedhimselfEmperor——thehousehold，children，tenantryofmyLadySouthdownwereexpectedtogodownontheirkneeswithherLadyship，andsayAmentotheprayersofeitherDoctor。DuringtheseexercisesoldSouthdown，onaccountofhisinvalidcondition，wasallowedtositinhisownroom，andhavenegusandthepaperreadtohim。LadyJanewastheoldEarl’sfavouritedaughter，andtendedhimandlovedhimsincerely：asforLadyEmily，theauthoressofthe“WasherwomanofFinchleyCommon。”herdenunciationsoffuturepunishmentatthisperiod，forheropinionsmodifiedafterwards
weresoawfulthattheyusedtofrightenthetimidoldgentlemanherfather，andthephysiciansdeclaredhisfitsalwaysoccurredafteroneofherLadyship’ssermons。
“Iwillcertainlycall。”saidLadySouthdownthen，inreplytotheexhortationofherdaughter’spretendu，Mr。
PittCrawley——“WhoisMissCrawley’smedicalman？”
Mr。CrawleymentionedthenameofMr。Creamer。
“Amostdangerousandignorantpractitioner，mydearPitt。Ihaveprovidentiallybeenthemeansofremovinghimfromseveralhouses：thoughinoneortwoinstancesIdidnotarriveintime。IcouldnotsavepoordearGeneralGlanders，whowasdyingunderthehandsofthatignorantman——dying。HeralliedalittleunderthePodgers’pillswhichIadministeredtohim；butalas！itwastoolate。Hisdeathwasdelightful，however；andhischangewasonlyforthebetter；Creamer，mydearPitt，mustleaveyouraunt。”
Pittexpressedhisperfectacquiescence。He，too，hadbeencarriedalongbytheenergyofhisnoblekinswoman，andfuturemother-in-law。HehadbeenmadetoacceptSaundersMcNitre，LukeWaters，GilesJowls，Podgers’
Pills，Rodgers’Pills，Pokey’sElixir，everyoneofherLadyship’sremediesspiritualortemporal。Heneverleftherhousewithoutcarryingrespectfullyawaywithhimpilesofherquacktheologyandmedicine。O，mydearbrethrenandfellow-sojournersinVanityFair，whichamongyoudoesnotknowandsufferundersuchbenevolentdespots？Itisinvainyousaytothem，“DearMadam，ItookPodgers’specificatyourorderslastyear，andbelieveinit。Why，whyamItorecantandaccepttheRodgers’articlesnow？”Thereisnohelpforit；thefaithfulproselytizer，ifshecannotconvincebyargument，burstsintotears，andtherefusantfindshimself，attheendofthecontest，takingdownthebolus，andsaying。”Well，well，Rodgers’beit。”
“Andasforherspiritualstate。”continuedtheLady。”thatofcoursemustbelookedtoimmediately：withCreamerabouther，shemaygooffanyday：andinwhatacondition，mydearPitt，inwhatadreadfulcondition！
IwillsendtheReverendMr。Ironstoherinstantly。Jane，writealinetotheReverendBartholomewIrons，inthethirdperson，andsaythatIdesirethepleasureofhiscompanythiseveningatteaathalf-pastsix。Heisanawakeningman；heoughttoseeMissCrawleybeforeshereststhisnight。AndEmily，mylove，getreadyapacketofbooksforMissCrawley。Putup’AVoicefromtheFlames，’’ATrumpet-warningtoJericho，’andthe’FleshpotsBroken；or，theConvertedCannibal。’“