第55章
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  perhapsshedidnotunderstandmuchofwhatshewasreading,andherthoughtswereelsewhere:butthesleepproject,withpoorMick’snightcapthereonthepillow,wasquiteavainone。Soitisintheworld。JackorDonaldmarchesawaytoglorywithhisknapsackonhisshoulder,steppingoutbrisklytothetuneof“TheGirlILeftBehindMe。”Itisshewhoremainsandsuffers——andhastheleisuretothink,andbrood,andremember。

  Knowinghowuselessregretsare,andhowtheindulgenceofsentimentonlyservestomakepeoplemoremiserable,Mrs。Rebeccawiselydeterminedtogivewaytonovainfeelingsofsorrow,andborethepartingfromherhusbandwithquiteaSpartanequanimity。IndeedCaptainRawdonhimselfwasmuchmoreaffectedattheleave-

  takingthantheresolutelittlewomantowhomhebadefarewell。Shehadmasteredthisrudecoarsenature;

  andhelovedandworshippedherwithallhisfacultiesofregardandadmiration。Inallhislifehehadneverbeensohappy,as,duringthepastfewmonths,hiswifehadmadehim。Allformerdelightsofturf,mess,hunting-field,andgambling-table;allpreviouslovesandcourtshipsofmilliners,opera-dancers,andthelikeeasytriumphsoftheclumsymilitaryAdonis,werequiteinsipidwhencomparedtothelawfulmatrimonialpleasureswhichoflatehehadenjoyed。Shehadknownperpetuallyhowtodiverthim;andhehadfoundhishouseandhersocietyathousandtimesmorepleasantthananyplaceorcompanywhichhehadeverfrequentedfromhischildhooduntilnow。Andhecursedhispastfolliesandextravagances,andbemoanedhisvastoutlyingdebtsaboveall,whichmustremainforeverasobstaclestopreventhiswife’sadvancementintheworld。HehadoftengroanedovertheseinmidnightconversationswithRebecca,althoughasabachelortheyhadnevergivenhimanydisquiet。Hehimselfwasstruckwiththisphenomenon。”Hangit。”

  hewouldsayorperhapsuseastillstrongerexpressionoutofhissimplevocabulary,“beforeIwasmarriedI

  didn’tcarewhatbillsIputmynameto,andsolongasMoseswouldwaitorLevywouldrenewforthreemonths,Ikeptonneverminding。ButsinceI’mmarried,exceptrenewing,ofcourse,IgiveyoumyhonourI’venottouchedabitofstampedpaper。”

  Rebeccaalwaysknewhowtoconjureawaythesemoodsofmelancholy。”Why,mystupidlove。”shewouldsay,“wehavenotdonewithyourauntyet。Ifshefailsus,isn’ttherewhatyoucalltheGazette?or,stop,whenyouruncleBute’slifedrops,Ihaveanotherscheme。Thelivinghasalwaysbelongedtotheyoungerbrother,andwhyshouldn’tyouselloutandgointotheChurch?”TheideaofthisconversionsetRawdonintoroarsoflaughter:

  youmighthaveheardtheexplosionthroughthehotelatmidnight,andthehaw-hawsofthegreatdragoon’svoice。

  GeneralTuftoheardhimfromhisquartersonthefirstfloorabovethem;andRebeccaactedthescenewithgreatspirit,andpreachedRawdon’sfirstsermon,totheimmensedelightoftheGeneralatbreakfast。

  Buttheseweremereby-gonedaysandtalk。Whenthefinalnewsarrivedthatthecampaignwasopened,andthetroopsweretomarch,Rawdon’sgravitybecamesuchthatBeckyralliedhimaboutitinamannerwhichratherhurtthefeelingsoftheGuardsman。”Youdon’tsupposeI’mafraid,Becky,Ishouldthink。”hesaid,withatremorinhisvoice。”ButI’maprettygoodmarkforashot,andyouseeifitbringsmedown,whyIleaveoneandperhapstwobehindmewhomIshouldwishtoprovidefor,asIbrought’emintothescrape。Itisnolaughingmatterthat,Mrs。C。,anyways。”

  Rebeccabyahundredcaressesandkindwordstriedtosoothethefeelingsofthewoundedlover。Itwasonlywhenhervivacityandsenseofhumourgotthebetterofthissprightlycreatureastheywoulddoundermostcircumstancesoflifeindeedthatshewouldbreakoutwithhersatire,butshecouldsoonputonademureface。

  “Dearestlove。”shesaid,“doyousupposeIfeelnothing?”

  andhastilydashingsomethingfromhereyes,shelookedupinherhusband’sfacewithasmile。

  “Lookhere。”saidhe。”IfIdrop,letusseewhatthereisforyou。Ihavehadaprettygoodrunofluckhere,andhere’stwohundredandthirtypounds。IhavegottenNapoleonsinmypocket。ThatisasmuchasIshallwant;

  fortheGeneralpayseverythinglikeaprince;andifI’mhit,whyyouknowIcostnothing。Don’tcry,littlewoman;

  Imaylivetovexyouyet。Well,Ishan’ttakeeitherofmyhorses,butshallridetheGeneral’sgreycharger:it’scheaper,andItoldhimminewaslame。IfI’mdone,thosetwooughttofetchyousomething。Griggofferedninetyforthemareyesterday,beforethisconfoundednewscame,andlikeafoolIwouldn’tlethergounderthetwoo’s。Bullfinchwillfetchhispriceanyday,onlyyou’dbettersellhiminthiscountry,becausethedealershavesomanybillsofmine,andsoI’dratherheshouldn’tgobacktoEngland。YourlittlemaretheGeneralgaveyouwillfetchsomething,andthere’snod——dliverystablebillshereasthereareinLondon。”Rawdonadded,withalaugh。”There’sthatdressing-casecostmetwohundred——thatis,Iowetwoforit;andthegoldtopsandbottlesmustbeworththirtyorforty。PleasetoputTHATupthespout,ma’am,withmypins,andrings,andwatchandchain,andthings。Theycostapreciouslotofmoney。MissCrawley,Iknow,paidahundreddownforthechainandticker。Goldtopsandbottles,indeed!dammy,I’msorryIdidn’ttakemorenow。Edwardspressedonmeasilver-

  giltboot-jack,andImighthavehadadressing-casefittedupwithasilverwarming-pan,andaserviceofplate。Butwemustmakethebestofwhatwe’vegot,Becky,youknow。”

  Andso,makinghislastdispositions,CaptainCrawley,whohadseldomthoughtaboutanythingbuthimself,untilthelastfewmonthsofhislife,whenLovehadobtainedthemasteryoverthedragoon,wentthroughthevariousitemsofhislittlecatalogueofeffects,strivingtoseehowtheymightbeturnedintomoneyforhiswife’sbenefit,incaseanyaccidentshouldbefallhim。Hepleasedhimselfbynotingdownwithapencil,inhisbigschoolboyhandwriting,thevariousitemsofhisportablepropertywhichmightbesoldforhiswidow’sadvantageas,forexample。”Mydouble-barrilbyManton,say40guineas;mydrivingcloak,linedwithsablefur,50pounds;myduellingpistolsinrosewoodcasesamewhichIshotCaptainMarker,20pounds;myregulationsaddle-holstersandhousings;myLaurieditto。”andsoforth,overallofwhicharticleshemadeRebeccathemistress。

  Faithfultohisplanofeconomy,theCaptaindressedhimselfinhisoldestandshabbiestuniformandepaulets,leavingthenewestbehind,underhiswife’soritmightbehiswidow’sguardianship。AndthisfamousdandyofWindsorandHydeParkwentoffonhiscampaignwithakitasmodestasthatofasergeant,andwithsomethinglikeaprayeronhislipsforthewomanhewasleaving。

  Hetookherupfromtheground,andheldherinhisarmsforaminute,tightpressedagainsthisstrong-beatingheart。Hisfacewaspurpleandhiseyesdim,asheputherdownandlefther。HerodebyhisGeneral’sside,andsmokedhiscigarinsilenceastheyhastenedafterthetroopsoftheGeneral’sbrigade,whichprecededthem;

  anditwasnotuntiltheyweresomemilesontheirwaythatheleftofftwirlinghismoustacheandbrokesilence。

  AndRebecca,aswehavesaid,wiselydeterminednottogivewaytounavailingsentimentalityonherhusband’sdeparture。Shewavedhimanadieufromthewindow,andstoodthereforamomentlookingoutafterhewasgone。

  Thecathedraltowersandthefullgablesofthequaintoldhouseswerejustbeginningtoblushinthesunrise。Therehadbeennorestforherthatnight。Shewasstillinherprettyball-dress,herfairhairhangingsomewhatoutofcurlonherneck,andthecirclesroundhereyesdarkwithwatching。”WhatafrightIseem。”shesaid,examiningherselfintheglass,“andhowpalethispinkmakesonelook!”Soshedivestedherselfofthispinkraiment;indoingwhichanotefelloutfromhercorsage,whichshepickedupwithasmile,andlockedintoherdressing-box。

  Andthensheputherbouquetoftheballintoaglassofwater,andwenttobed,andsleptverycomfortably。

  Thetownwasquitequietwhenshewokeupatteno’clock,andpartookofcoffee,veryrequisiteandcomfortingaftertheexhaustionandgriefofthemorning’soccurrences。

  Thismealover,sheresumedhonestRawdon’scalculationsofthenightprevious,andsurveyedherposition。

  Shouldtheworstbefall,allthingsconsidered,shewasprettywelltodo。Therewereherowntrinketsandtrousseau,inadditiontothosewhichherhusbandhadleftbehind。

  Rawdon’sgenerosity,whentheywerefirstmarried,hasalreadybeendescribedandlauded。Besidesthese,andthelittlemare,theGeneral,herslaveandworshipper,hadmadehermanyveryhandsomepresents,intheshapeofcashmereshawlsboughtattheauctionofabankruptFrenchgeneral’slady,andnumeroustributesfromthejewellers’shops,allofwhichbetokenedheradmirer’stasteandwealth。Asfor“tickers。”aspoorRawdoncalledwatches,herapartmentswerealivewiththeirclicking。

  For,happeningtomentiononenightthathers,whichRawdonhadgiventoher,wasofEnglishworkmanship,andwentill,ontheverynextmorningtherecametoheralittlebijoumarkedLeroy,withachainandcovercharminglysetwithturquoises,andanothersignedBrequet,whichwascoveredwithpearls,andyetscarcelybiggerthanahalf-crown。GeneralTuftohadboughtone,andCaptainOsbornehadgallantlypresentedtheother。Mrs。

  Osbornehadnowatch,though,todoGeorgejustice,shemighthavehadonefortheasking,andtheHonourableMrs。TuftoinEnglandhadanoldinstrumentofhermother’sthatmighthaveservedfortheplate-warmingpanwhichRawdontalkedabout。IfMessrs。HowellandJamesweretopublishalistofthepurchasersofallthetrinketswhichtheysell,howsurprisedwouldsomefamiliesbe:andifalltheseornamentswenttogentlemen’slawfulwivesanddaughters,whataprofusionofjewellerytherewouldbeexhibitedinthegenteelesthomesofVanityFair!

  EverycalculationmadeofthesevaluablesMrs。Rebeccafound,notwithoutapungentfeelingoftriumphandself-

  satisfaction,thatshouldcircumstancesoccur,shemightreckononsixorsevenhundredpoundsattheveryleast,tobegintheworldwith;andshepassedthemorningdisposing,ordering,lookingout,andlockingupherpropertiesinthemostagreeablemanner。AmongthenotesinRawdon’spocket-bookwasadraftfortwentypoundsonOsborne’sbanker。ThismadeherthinkaboutMrs。

  Osborne。”Iwillgoandgetthedraftcashed。”shesaid。”andpayavisitafterwardstopoorlittleEmmy。”Ifthisisanovelwithoutahero,atleastletuslayclaimtoaheroine。NomanintheBritisharmywhichhasmarchedaway,notthegreatDukehimself,couldbemorecoolorcollectedinthepresenceofdoubtsanddifficulties,thantheindomitablelittleaide-de-camp’swife。

  Andtherewasanotherofouracquaintanceswhowasalsotobeleftbehind,anon-combatant,andwhoseemotionsandbehaviourwehavethereforearighttoknow。

  Thiswasourfriendtheex-collectorofBoggleyWollah,whoserestwasbroken,likeotherpeople’s,bythesoundingofthebuglesintheearlymorning。Beingagreatsleeper,andfondofhisbed,itispossiblehewouldhavesnoozedonuntilhisusualhourofrisingintheforenoon,inspiteofallthedrums,bugles,andbagpipesintheBritisharmy,butforaninterruption,whichdidnotcomefromGeorgeOsborne,whosharedJos’squarterswithhim,andwasasusualoccupiedtoomuchwithhisownaffairsorwithgriefatpartingwithhiswife,tothinkoftakingleaveofhisslumberingbrother-in-law——itwasnotGeorge,wesay,whointerposedbetweenJosSedleyandsleep,butCaptainDobbin,whocameandrousedhimup,insistingonshakinghandswithhimbeforehisdeparture。

  “Verykindofyou。”saidJos,yawning,andwishingtheCaptainatthedeuce。

  “I——Ididn’tliketogooffwithoutsayinggood-bye,youknow。”Dobbinsaidinaveryincoherentmanner;“becauseyouknowsomeofusmayn’tcomebackagain,andIliketoseeyouallwell,and——andthatsortofthing,youknow。”

  “Whatdoyoumean?”Josasked,rubbinghiseyes。TheCaptaindidnotintheleasthearhimorlookatthestoutgentlemaninthenightcap,aboutwhomheprofessedtohavesuchatenderinterest。ThehypocritewaslookingandlisteningwithallhismightinthedirectionofGeorge’sapartments,stridingabouttheroom,upsettingthechairs,beatingthetattoo,bitinghisnails,andshowingothersignsofgreatinwardemotion。

  JoshadalwayshadratherameanopinionoftheCaptain,andnowbegantothinkhiscouragewassomewhatequivocal。”WhatisitIcandoforyou,Dobbin?”hesaid,inasarcastictone。

  “Itellyouwhatyoucando。”theCaptainreplied,cominguptothebed;“wemarchinaquarterofanhour,Sedley,andneitherGeorgenorImayevercomeback。

  Mindyou,youarenottostirfromthistownuntilyouascertainhowthingsgo。Youaretostayhereandwatchoveryoursister,andcomforther,andseethatnoharmcomestoher。IfanythinghappenstoGeorge,remembershehasnoonebutyouintheworldtolookto。Ifitgoeswrongwiththearmy,you’llseehersafebacktoEngland;

  andyouwillpromisemeonyourwordthatyouwillneverdeserther。Iknowyouwon’t:asfarasmoneygoes,youwerealwaysfreeenoughwiththat。Doyouwantany?

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