第53章
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  S。Whydon’tyouspeak,John?ShallIsayTuesdayfortnight?

  Whydon’tyouanswer?GoodGod,John,whathashappened?”

  JohnSedleysprangupoutofhischairtomeethiswife,whorantohim。Heseizedherinhisarms,andsaidwithahastyvoice,“We’reruined,Mary。We’vegottheworldtobeginoveragain,dear。It’sbestthatyoushouldknowall,andatonce。”Ashespoke,hetrembledineverylimb,andalmostfell。Hethoughtthenewswouldhaveoverpoweredhiswife——hiswife,towhomhehadneversaidahardword。Butitwashethatwasthemostmoved,suddenastheshockwastoher。Whenhesankbackintohisseat,itwasthewifethattooktheofficeofconsoler。Shetookhistremblinghand,andkissedit,andputitroundherneck:shecalledhimherJohn——herdearJohn——heroldman——herkindoldman;shepouredoutahundredwordsofincoherentloveandtenderness;herfaithfulvoiceandsimplecaresseswroughtthissadheartuptoaninexpressibledelightandanguish,andcheeredandsolacedhisover-burdenedsoul。

  Onlyonceinthecourseofthelongnightastheysatetogether,andpoorSedleyopenedhispent-upsoul,andtoldthestoryofhislossesandembarrassments——thetreasonofsomeofhisoldestfriends,themanlykindnessofsome,fromwhomhenevercouldhaveexpectedit——inageneralconfession——onlyoncedidthefaithfulwifegivewaytoemotion。

  “MyGod,myGod,itwillbreakEmmy’sheart。”shesaid。

  Thefatherhadforgottenthepoorgirl。Shewaslying,awakeandunhappy,overhead。Inthemidstoffriends,home,andkindparents,shewasalone。Tohowmanypeoplecananyonetellall?Whowillbeopenwherethereisnosympathy,orhascalltospeaktothosewhonevercanunderstand?OurgentleAmeliawasthussolitary。Shehadnoconfidante,sotospeak,eversinceshehadanythingtoconfide。Shecouldnottelltheoldmotherherdoubtsandcares;thewould-besistersseemedeverydaymorestrangetoher。Andshehadmisgivingsandfearswhichshedarednotacknowledgetoherself,thoughshewasalwayssecretlybroodingoverthem。

  HerhearttriedtopersistinassertingthatGeorgeOsbornewasworthyandfaithfultoher,thoughsheknewotherwise。Howmanyathinghadshesaid,andgotnoechofromhim。Howmanysuspicionsofselfishnessandindifferencehadshetoencounterandobstinatelyovercome。Towhomcouldthepoorlittlemartyrtellthesedailystrugglesandtortures?Herherohimselfonlyhalfunderstoodher。Shedidnotdaretoownthatthemanshelovedwasherinferior;ortofeelthatshehadgivenherheartawaytoosoon。Givenonce,thepurebashfulmaidenwastoomodest,tootender,tootrustful,tooweak,toomuchwomantorecallit。WeareTurkswiththeaffectionsofourwomen;andhavemadethemsubscribetoourdoctrinetoo。Welettheirbodiesgoabroadliberallyenough,withsmilesandringletsandpinkbonnetstodisguisetheminsteadofveilsandyakmaks。Buttheirsoulsmustbeseenbyonlyoneman,andtheyobeynotunwillingly,andconsenttoremainathomeasourslaves——ministeringtousanddoingdrudgeryforus。

  Soimprisonedandtorturedwasthisgentlelittleheart,wheninthemonthofMarch,AnnoDomini1815,NapoleonlandedatCannes,andLouisXVIIIfled,andallEuropewasinalarm,andthefundsfell,andoldJohnSedleywasruined。

  Wearenotgoingtofollowtheworthyoldstockbrokerthroughthoselastpangsandagoniesofruinthroughwhichhepassedbeforehiscommercialdemisebefell。

  TheydeclaredhimattheStockExchange;hewasabsentfromhishouseofbusiness:hisbillswereprotested:

  hisactofbankruptcyformal。ThehouseandfurnitureofRussellSquarewereseizedandsoldup,andheandhisfamilywerethrustaway,aswehaveseen,tohidetheirheadswheretheymight。

  JohnSedleyhadnotthehearttoreviewthedomesticestablishmentwhohaveappearednowandanoninourpagesandofwhomhewasnowforcedbypovertytotakeleave。Thewagesofthoseworthypeopleweredischargedwiththatpunctualitywhichmenfrequentlyshowwhoonlyoweingreatsums——theyweresorrytoleavegoodplaces——buttheydidnotbreaktheirheartsatpartingfromtheiradoredmasterandmistress。Amelia’smaidwasprofuseincondolences,butwentoffquiteresignedtobetterherselfinagenteelerquarterofthetown。BlackSambo,withtheinfatuationofhisprofession,determinedonsettingupapublic-house。HonestoldMrs。Blenkinsopindeed,whohadseenthebirthofJosandAmelia,andthewooingofJohnSedleyandhiswife,wasforstayingbythemwithoutwages,havingamassedaconsiderablesumintheirservice:andsheaccompaniedthefallenpeopleintotheirnewandhumbleplaceofrefuge,whereshetendedthemandgrumbledagainstthemforawhile。

  OfallSedley’sopponentsinhisdebateswithhiscreditorswhichnowensued,andharassedthefeelingsofthehumiliatedoldgentlemansoseverely,thatinsixweeksheoldenedmorethanhehaddoneforfifteenyearsbefore——

  themostdeterminedandobstinateseemedtobeJohnOsborne,hisoldfriendandneighbour——JohnOsborne,whomhehadsetupinlife——whowasunderahundredobligationstohim——andwhosesonwastomarrySedley’sdaughter。AnyoneofthesecircumstanceswouldaccountforthebitternessofOsborne’sopposition。

  Whenonemanhasbeenunderveryremarkableobligationstoanother,withwhomhesubsequentlyquarrels,acommonsenseofdecency,asitwere,makesoftheformeramuchsevererenemythanamerestrangerwouldbe。Toaccountforyourownhard-heartednessandingratitudeinsuchacase,youareboundtoprovetheotherparty’scrime。Itisnotthatyouareselfish,brutal,andangryatthefailureofaspeculation——no,no——itisthatyourpartnerhasledyouintoitbythebasesttreacheryandwiththemostsinistermotives。Fromameresenseofconsistency,apersecutorisboundtoshowthatthefallenmanisavillain——otherwisehe,thepersecutor,isawretchhimself。

  Andasageneralrule,whichmaymakeallcreditorswhoareinclinedtobesevereprettycomfortableintheirminds,nomenembarrassedarealtogetherhonest,verylikely。Theyconcealsomething;theyexaggeratechancesofgoodluck;hideawaytherealstateofaffairs;saythatthingsareflourishingwhentheyarehopeless,keepasmilingfaceadrearysmileitisuponthevergeofbankruptcy——arereadytolayholdofanypretextfordelayorofanymoney,soastostaveofftheinevitableruinafewdayslonger。”Downwithsuchdishonesty。”

  saysthecreditorintriumph,andrevileshissinkingenemy。”Youfool,whydoyoucatchatastraw?”calmgoodsensesaystothemanthatisdrowning。”Youvillain,whydoyoushrinkfromplungingintotheirretrievableGazette?”saysprosperitytothepoordevilbattlinginthatblackgulf。Whohasnotremarkedthereadinesswithwhichtheclosestoffriendsandhonestestofmensuspectandaccuseeachotherofcheatingwhentheyfalloutonmoneymatters?Everybodydoesit。Everybodyisright,Isuppose,andtheworldisarogue。

  ThenOsbornehadtheintolerablesenseofformerbenefitstogoadandirritatehim:thesearealwaysacauseofhostilityaggravated。Finally,hehadtobreakoffthematchbetweenSedley’sdaughterandhisson;andasithadgoneveryfarindeed,andasthepoorgirl’shappinessandperhapscharacterwerecompromised,itwasnecessarytoshowthestrongestreasonsfortherupture,andforJohnOsbornetoproveJohnSedleytobeaverybadcharacterindeed。

  Atthemeetingsofcreditors,then,hecomportedhimselfwithasavagenessandscorntowardsSedley,whichalmostsucceededinbreakingtheheartofthatruinedbankruptman。OnGeorge’sintercoursewithAmeliaheputaninstantveto——menacingtheyouthwithmaledictionsifhebrokehiscommands,andvilipendingthepoorinnocentgirlasthebasestandmostartfulofvixens。

  Oneofthegreatconditionsofangerandhatredis,thatyoumusttellandbelieveliesagainstthehatedobject,inorder,aswesaid,tobeconsistent。

  Whenthegreatcrashcame——theannouncementofruin,andthedeparturefromRussellSquare,andthedeclarationthatallwasoverbetweenherandGeorge——alloverbetweenherandlove,herandhappiness,herandfaithintheworld——abrutalletterfromJohnOsbornetoldherinafewcurtlinesthatherfather’sconducthadbeenofsuchanaturethatallengagementsbetweenthefamilieswereatanend——whenthefinalawardcame,itdidnotshockhersomuchasherparents,ashermotherratherexpectedforJohnSedleyhimselfwasentirelyprostrateintheruinsofhisownaffairsandshatteredhonour。Ameliatookthenewsverypalelyandcalmly。

  Itwasonlytheconfirmationofthedarkpresageswhichhadlonggonebefore。Itwasthemerereadingofthesentence——ofthecrimeshehadlongagobeenguilty——thecrimeoflovingwrongly,tooviolently,againstreason。

  Shetoldnomoreofherthoughtsnowthanshehadbefore。Sheseemedscarcelymoreunhappynowwhenconvincedallhopewasover,thanbeforewhenshefeltbutdarednotconfessthatitwasgone。Soshechangedfromthelargehousetothesmallonewithoutanymarkordifference;remainedinherlittleroomforthemostpart;

  pinedsilently;anddiedawaydaybyday。Idonotmeantosaythatallfemalesareso。MydearMissBullock,I

  donotthinkyourheartwouldbreakinthisway。Youareastrong-mindedyoungwomanwithproperprinciples。

  Idonotventuretosaythatminewould;ithassuffered,and,itmustbeconfessed,survived。Buttherearesomesoulsthusgentlyconstituted,thusfrail,anddelicate,andtender。

  WheneveroldJohnSedleythoughtoftheaffairbetweenGeorgeandAmelia,oralludedtoit,itwaswithbitternessalmostasgreatasMr。Osbornehimselfhadshown。HecursedOsborneandhisfamilyasheartless,wicked,andungrateful。Nopoweronearth,heswore,wouldinducehimtomarryhisdaughtertothesonofsuchavillain,andheorderedEmmytobanishGeorgefromhermind,andtoreturnallthepresentsandletterswhichshehadeverhadfromhim。

  Shepromisedacquiescence,andtriedtoobey。Sheputupthetwoorthreetrinkets:and,asfortheletters,shedrewthemoutoftheplace。whereshekeptthem;andreadthemover——asifshedidnotknowthembyheartalready:butshecouldnotpartwiththem。Thateffortwastoomuchforher;sheplacedthembackinherbosomagain——asyouhaveseenawomannurseachildthatisdead。YoungAmeliafeltthatshewoulddieorlosehersensesoutright,iftornawayfromthislastconsolation。

  Howsheusedtoblushandlightenupwhenthoseletterscame!Howsheusedtotripawaywithabeatingheart,sothatshemightreadunseen!Iftheywerecold,yethowperverselythisfondlittlesoulinterpretedthemintowarmth。Iftheywereshortorselfish,whatexcusesshefoundforthewriter!

  Itwasoverthesefewworthlesspapersthatshebroodedandbrooded。Shelivedinherpastlife——everyletterseemedtorecallsomecircumstanceofit。Howwellsherememberedthemall!Hislooksandtones,hisdress,whathesaidandhow——theserelicsandremembrancesofdeadaffectionwereallthatwereleftherintheworld。

  Andthebusinessofherlife,was——towatchthecorpseofLove。

  Todeathshelookedwithinexpressiblelonging。Then,shethought,Ishallalwaysbeabletofollowhim。IamnotpraisingherconductorsettingherupasamodelforMissBullocktoimitate。MissB。knowshowtoregulateherfeelingsbetterthanthispoorlittlecreature。MissB。

  wouldneverhavecommittedherselfasthatimprudentAmeliahaddone;pledgedherloveirretrievably;

  confessedherheartaway,andgotbacknothing——onlyabrittlepromisewhichwassnaptandworthlessinamoment。Alongengagementisapartnershipwhichonepartyisfreetokeeportobreak,butwhichinvolvesallthecapitaloftheother。

  Becautiousthen,youngladies;bewaryhowyouengage。Beshyoflovingfrankly;nevertellallyoufeel,orabetterwaystill,feelverylittle。Seetheconsequencesofbeingprematurelyhonestandconfiding,andmistrustyourselvesandeverybody。GetyourselvesmarriedastheydoinFrance,wherethelawyersarethebridesmaidsandconfidantes。Atanyrate,neverhaveanyfeelingswhichmaymakeyouuncomfortable,ormakeanypromiseswhichyoucannotatanyrequiredmomentcommandandwithdraw。Thatisthewaytogeton,andberespected,andhaveavirtuouscharacterinVanityFair。

  IfAmeliacouldhaveheardthecommentsregardingherwhichweremadeinthecirclefromwhichherfather’sruinhadjustdrivenher,shewouldhaveseenwhatherowncrimeswere,andhowentirelyhercharacterwasjeopardised。SuchcriminalimprudenceMrs。Smithneverknewof;suchhorridfamiliaritiesMrs。Brownhadalwayscondemned,andtheendmightbeawarningtoHER

  daughters。”CaptainOsborne,ofcourse,couldnotmarryabankrupt’sdaughter。”theMissesDobbinsaid。”Itwasquiteenoughtohavebeenswindledbythefather。AsforthatlittleAmelia,herfollyhadreallypassedall——“

  “Allwhat?”CaptainDobbinroaredout。”Haven’ttheybeenengagedeversincetheywerechildren?Wasn’titasgoodasamarriage?Dareanysoulonearthbreatheawordagainstthesweetest,thepurest,thetenderest,themostangelicalofyoungwomen?”

  “La,William,don’tbesohighty-tightywithUS。We’renotmen。Wecan’tfightyou。”MissJanesaid。”We’vesaidnothingagainstMissSedley:butthatherconductthroughoutwasMOSTIMPRUDENT,nottocallitbyanyworsename;andthatherparentsarepeoplewhocertainlymerittheirmisfortunes。”

  “Hadn’tyoubetter,nowthatMissSedleyisfree,proposeforheryourself,William?”MissAnnaskedsarcastically。”Itwouldbeamosteligiblefamilyconnection。He!he!”

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