“Whatamonstrousfinegirlthatisinthelodgingsoverthemilliner’s。”oneofthesethreepromenadersremarkedtotheother；“Gad，Crawley，didyouseewhatawinkshegavemeasIpassed？”
“Don’tbreakherheart，Jos，yourascal。”saidanother。
“Don’ttriflewithheraffections，youDonJuan！”
“Getaway。”saidJosSedley，quitepleased，andleeringupatthemaid-servantinquestionwithamostkillingogle。JoswasevenmoresplendidatBrightonthanhehadbeenathissister’smarriage。Hehadbrilliantunder-waistcoats，anyoneofwhichwouldhavesetupamoderatebuck。
Hesportedamilitaryfrock-coat，ornamentedwithfrogs，knobs，blackbuttons，andmeanderingembroidery。
Hehadaffectedamilitaryappearanceandhabitsoflate；
andhewalkedwithhistwofriends，whowereofthatprofession，clinkinghisboot-spurs，swaggeringprodigiously，andshootingdeath-glancesatalltheservantgirlswhowereworthytobeslain。
“Whatshallwedo，boys，tilltheladiesreturn？”thebuckasked。TheladieswereouttoRottingdeaninhiscarriageonadrive。
“Let’shaveagameatbilliards。”oneofhisfriendssaid——thetallone，withlacqueredmustachios。
“No，dammy；no，Captain。”Josreplied，ratheralarmed。”Nobilliardsto-day，Crawley，myboy；
yesterdaywasenough。”
“Youplayverywell。”saidCrawley，laughing。”Don’the，Osborne？Howwellhemadethat-fivestroke，eh？”
“Famous。”Osbornesaid。”Josisadevilofafellowatbilliards，andateverythingelse，too。Iwishtherewereanytiger-huntingabouthere！wemightgoandkillafewbeforedinner。Theregoesafinegirl！whatanankle，eh，Jos？Tellusthatstoryaboutthetiger-hunt，andthewayyoudidforhiminthejungle——it’sawonderfulstorythat，Crawley。”HereGeorgeOsbornegaveayawn。”It’sratherslowwork。”saidhe，“downhere；whatshallwedo？”
“ShallwegoandlookatsomehorsesthatSnaffler’sjustbroughtfromLewesfair？”Crawleysaid。
“SupposewegoandhavesomejelliesatDutton’s。”
andtherogueJos，willingtokilltwobirdswithonestone。”DevilishfinegalatDutton’s。”
“SupposewegoandseetheLightningcomein，it’sjustabouttime？”Georgesaid。Thisadviceprevailingoverthestablesandthejelly，theyturnedtowardsthecoach-officetowitnesstheLightning’sarrival。
Astheypassed，theymetthecarriage——JosSedley’sopencarriage，withitsmagnificentarmorialbearings——
thatsplendidconveyanceinwhichheusedtodrive，aboutatCheltonham，majesticandsolitary，withhisarmsfolded，andhishatcocked；or，morehappy，withladiesbyhisside。
Twowereinthecarriagenow：onealittleperson，withlighthair，anddressedintheheightofthefashion；theotherinabrownsilkpelisse，andastrawbonnetwithpinkribbons，witharosy，round，happyface，thatdidyougoodtobehold。Shecheckedthecarriageasitnearedthethreegentlemen，afterwhichexerciseofauthorityshelookedrathernervous，andthenbegantoblushmostabsurdly。”Wehavehadadelightfuldrive，George。”shesaid，“and——andwe’resogladtocomeback；
and，Joseph，don’tlethimbelate。”
“Don’tbeleadingourhusbandsintomischief，Mr。
Sedley，youwicked，wickedmanyou。”Rebeccasaid，shakingatJosaprettylittlefingercoveredwiththeneatestFrenchkidglove。”Nobilliards，nosmoking，nonaughtiness！”
“MydearMrs。Crawley——Ahnow！uponmyhonour！”
wasallJoscouldejaculatebywayofreply；buthemanagedtofallintoatolerableattitude，withhisheadlyingonhisshoulder，grinningupwardsathisvictim，withonehandathisback，whichhesupportedonhiscane，andtheotherhandtheonewiththediamondringfumblinginhisshirt-frillandamonghisunder-waistcoats。Asthecarriagedroveoffhekissedthediamondhandtothefairladieswithin。HewishedallCheltenham，allChowringhee，allCalcutta，couldseehiminthatposition，wavinghishandtosuchabeauty，andincompanywithsuchafamousbuckasRawdonCrawleyoftheGuards。
OuryoungbrideandbridegroomhadchosenBrightonastheplacewheretheywouldpassthefirstfewdaysaftertheirmarriage；andhavingengagedapartmentsattheShipInn，enjoyedthemselvesthereingreatcomfortandquietude，untilJospresentlyjoinedthem。Norwashetheonlycompaniontheyfoundthere。Astheywerecomingintothehotelfromasea-sidewalkoneafternoon，onwhomshouldtheylightbutRebeccaandherhusband。Therecognitionwasimmediate。Rebeccaflewintothearmsofherdearestfriend。CrawleyandOsborneshookhandstogethercordiallyenough：andBecky，inthecourseofaveryfewhours，foundmeanstomakethelatterforgetthatlittleunpleasantpassageofwordswhichhadhappenedbetweenthem。”DoyourememberthelasttimewemetatMissCrawley’s，whenIwassorudetoyou，dearCaptainOsborne？IthoughtyouseemedcarelessaboutdearAmelia。Itwasthatmademeangry：andsopert：andsounkind：andsoungrateful。Doforgiveme！”Rebeccasaid，andsheheldoutherhandwithsofrankandwinningagrace，thatOsbornecouldnotbuttakeit。Byhumblyandfranklyacknowledgingyourselftobeinthewrong，thereisnoknowing，myson，whatgoodyoumaydo。IknewonceagentlemanandveryworthypractitionerinVanityFair，whousedtodolittlewrongstohisneighboursonpurpose，andinordertoapologisefortheminanopenandmanlywayafterwards——andwhatensued？MyfriendCrockyDoylewaslikedeverywhere，anddeemedtoberatherimpetuous——butthehonestestfellow。Becky’shumilitypassedforsinceritywithGeorgeOsborne。
Thesetwoyoungcoupleshadplentyoftalestorelatetoeachother。Themarriagesofeitherwerediscussed；
andtheirprospectsinlifecanvassedwiththegreatestfranknessandinterestonbothsides。George’smarriagewastobemadeknowntohisfatherbyhisfriendCaptainDobbin；andyoungOsbornetrembledratherfortheresultofthatcommunication。MissCrawley，onwhomallRawdon’shopesdepended，stillheldout。UnabletomakeanentryintoherhouseinParkLane，heraffectionatenephewandniecehadfollowedhertoBrighton，wheretheyhademissariescontinuallyplantedatherdoor。
“IwishyoucouldseesomeofRawdon’sfriendswhoarealwaysaboutourdoor。”Rebeccasaid，laughing。”Didyoueverseeadun，mydear；orabailiffandhisman？
Twooftheabominablewretcheswatchedalllastweekatthegreengrocer’sopposite，andwecouldnotgetawayuntilSunday。IfAuntydoesnotrelent，whatshallwedo？”
Rawdon，withroarsoflaughter，relatedadozenamusinganecdotesofhisduns，andRebecca’sadroittreatmentofthem。HevowedwithagreatoaththattherewasnowomaninEuropewhocouldtalkacreditoroverasshecould。Almostimmediatelyaftertheirmarriage，herpracticehadbegun，andherhusbandfoundtheimmensevalueofsuchawife。Theyhadcreditinplenty，buttheyhadbillsalsoinabundance，andlabouredunderascarcityofreadymoney。Didthesedebt-difficultiesaffectRawdon’sgoodspirits？No。EverybodyinVanityFairmusthaveremarkedhowwellthoselivewhoarecomfortablyandthoroughlyindebt：howtheydenythemselvesnothing；
howjollyandeasytheyareintheirminds。RawdonandhiswifehadtheverybestapartmentsattheinnatBrighton；thelandlord，ashebroughtinthefirstdish，bowedbeforethemastohisgreatestcustomers：andRawdonabusedthedinnersandwinewithanaudacitywhichnograndeeinthelandcouldsurpass。Longcustom，amanlyappearance，faultlessbootsandclothes，andahappyfiercenessofmanner，willoftenhelpamanasmuchasagreatbalanceatthebanker’s。
Thetwoweddingpartiesmetconstantlyineachother’sapartments。Aftertwoorthreenightsthegentlemenofaneveninghadalittlepiquet，astheirwivessateandchattedapart。Thispastime，andthearrivalofJosSedley，whomadehisappearanceinhisgrandopencarriage，andwhoplayedafewgamesatbilliardswithCaptainCrawley，replenishedRawdon’spursesomewhat，andgavehimthebenefitofthatreadymoneyforwhichthegreatestspiritsaresometimesatastand-still。
SothethreegentlemenwalkeddowntoseetheLightningcoachcomein。Punctualtotheminute，thecoachcrowdedinsideandout，theguardblowinghisaccustomedtuneonthehorn——theLightningcametearingdownthestreet，andpulledupatthecoach-office。
“Hullo！there’soldDobbin。”Georgecried，quitedelightedtoseehisoldfriendperchedontheroof；andwhosepromisedvisittoBrightonhadbeendelayeduntilnow。”Howareyou，oldfellow？Gladyou’recomedown。
Emmy’llbedelightedtoseeyou。”Osbornesaid，shakinghiscomradewarmlybythehandassoonashisdescentfromthevehiclewaseffected——andthenheadded，inalowerandagitatedvoice，“What’sthenews？HaveyoubeeninRussellSquare？Whatdoesthegovernorsay？
Tellmeeverything。”
Dobbinlookedverypaleandgrave。”I’veseenyourfather。”saidhe。”How’sAmelia——Mrs。George？I’lltellyouallthenewspresently：butI’vebroughtthegreatnewsofall：andthatis——“
“Outwithit，oldfellow。”Georgesaid。
“We’reorderedtoBelgium。Allthearmygoes——guardsandall。Heavytop’sgotthegout，andismadatnotbeingabletomove。O’Dowdgoesincommand，andweembarkfromChathamnextweek。”Thisnewsofwarcouldnotbutcomewithashockuponourlovers，andcausedallthesegentlementolookveryserious。
CHAPTERXXIII
CaptainDobbinProceedsonHisCanvassWhatisthesecretmesmerismwhichfriendshippossesses，andundertheoperationofwhichapersonordinarilysluggish，orcold，ortimid，becomeswise，active，andresolute，inanother’sbehalf？AsAlexis，afterafewpassesfromDr。Elliotson，despisespain，readswiththebackofhishead，seesmilesoff，looksintonextweek，andperformsotherwonders，ofwhich，inhisownprivatenormalcondition，heisquiteincapable；soyousee，intheaffairsoftheworldandunderthemagnetismoffriendships，themodestmanbecomesbold，theshyconfident，thelazyactive，ortheimpetuousprudentandpeaceful。Whatisit，ontheotherhand，thatmakesthelawyereschewhisowncause，andcallinhislearnedbrotherasanadviser？Andwhatcausesthedoctor，whenailing，tosendforhisrival，andnotsitdownandexaminehisowntongueinthechimneyBass，orwritehisownprescriptionathisstudy-table？Ithrowoutthesequeriesforintelligentreaderstoanswer，whoknow，atonce，howcredulousweare，andhowsceptical，howsoftandhowobstinate，howfirmforothersandhowdiffidentaboutourselves：meanwhile，itiscertainthatourfriendWilliamDobbin，whowaspersonallyofsocomplyingadispositionthatifhisparentshadpressedhimmuch，itisprobablehewouldhavesteppeddownintothekitchenandmarriedthecook，andwho，tofurtherhisowninterests，wouldhavefoundthemostinsuperabledifficultyinwalkingacrossthestreet，foundhimselfasbusyandeagerintheconductofGeorgeOsborne’saffairs，asthemostselfishtacticiancouldbeinthepursuitofhisown。
WhilstourfriendGeorgeandhisyoungwifewereenjoyingthefirstblushingdaysofthehoneymoonatBrighton，honestWilliamwasleftasGeorge’splenipotentiaryinLondon，totransactallthebusinesspartofthemarriage。
HisdutyitwastocalluponoldSedleyandhiswife，andtokeeptheformeringoodhumour：todrawJosandhisbrother-in-lawnearertogether，sothatJos’spositionanddignity，ascollectorofBoggleyWollah，mightcompensateforhisfather’slossofstation，andtendtoreconcileoldOsbornetothealliance：andfinally，tocommunicateittothelatterinsuchawayasshouldleastirritatetheoldgentleman。
Now，beforehefacedtheheadoftheOsbornehousewiththenewswhichitwashisdutytotell，Dobbinbethoughthimthatitwouldbepolitictomakefriendsoftherestofthefamily，and，ifpossible，havetheladiesonhisside。Theycan’tbeangryintheirhearts，thoughthe。Nowomaneverwasreallyangryataromanticmarriage。A
littlecryingout，andtheymustcomeroundtotheirbrother；whenthethreeofuswilllaysiegetooldMr。
Osborne。SothisMachiavelliancaptainofinfantrycastabouthimforsomehappymeansorstratagembywhichhecouldgentlyandgraduallybringtheMissesOsbornetoaknowledgeoftheirbrother’ssecret。
Byalittleinquiryregardinghismother’sengagements，hewasprettysoonabletofindoutbywhomofherladyship’sfriendspartiesweregivenatthatseason；wherehewouldbelikelytomeetOsborne’ssisters；and，thoughhehadthatabhorrenceofroutsandeveningpartieswhichmanysensiblemen，alas！entertain，hesoonfoundonewheretheMissesOsborneweretobepresent。
Makinghisappearanceattheball，wherehedancedacoupleofsetswithbothofthem，andwasprodigiouslypolite，heactuallyhadthecouragetoaskMissOsborneforafewminutes’conversationatanearlyhourthenextday，whenhehad，hesaid，tocommunicatetohernewsoftheverygreatestinterest。
Whatwasitthatmadeherstartback，andgazeuponhimforamoment，andthenonthegroundatherfeet，andmakeasifshewouldfaintonhisarm，hadhenotbyopportunelytreadingonhertoes，broughttheyoungladybacktoself-control？WhywasshesoviolentlyagitatedatDobbin’srequest？Thiscanneverbeknown。Butwhenhecamethenextday，Mariawasnotinthedrawing-roomwithhersister，andMissWirtwentoffforthepurposeoffetchingthelatter，andtheCaptainandMissOsbornewerelefttogether。TheywerebothsosilentthattheticktockoftheSacrificeofIphigeniaclockonthemantelpiecebecamequiterudelyaudible。
“Whatanicepartyitwaslastnight。”MissOsborneatlengthbegan，encouragingly；“and——andhowyou’reimprovedinyourdancing，CaptainDobbin。Surelysomebodyhastaughtyou。”sheadded，withamiablearchness。
“YoushouldseemedanceareelwithMrs。MajorO’Dowdofours；andajig——didyoueverseeajig？ButIthinkanybodycoulddancewithyou，MissOsborne，whodancesowell。”