Vows，love，promises，confidences，gratitude，howqueerlytheyreadafterawhile！ThereoughttobealawinVanityFairorderingthedestructionofeverywrittendocumentexceptreceiptedtradesmen’sbillsafteracertainbriefandproperinterval。ThosequacksandmisanthropeswhoadvertiseindelibleJapaninkshouldbemadetoperishalongwiththeirwickeddiscoveries。ThebestinkforVanityFairusewouldbeonethatfadedutterlyinacoupleofdays，andleftthepapercleanandblank，sothatyoumightwriteonittosomebodyelse。
FromMissPinkerton’stheindefatigableMrs。ButefollowedthetrackofSharpandhisdaughterbacktothelodgingsinGreekStreet，whichthedefunctpainterhadoccupied；andwhereportraitsofthelandladyinwhitesatin，andofthehusbandinbrassbuttons，donebySharpinlieuofaquarter’srent，stilldecoratedtheparlourwalls。Mrs。Stokeswasacommunicativeperson，andquicklytoldallsheknewaboutMr。Sharp；howdissoluteandpoorhewas；howgood-naturedandamusing；howhewasalwayshuntedbybailiffsandduns；how，tothelandlady’shorror，thoughshenevercouldabidethewoman，hedidnotmarryhiswifetillashorttimebeforeherdeath；andwhataqueerlittlewildvixenhisdaughterwas；howshekeptthemalllaughingwithherfunandmimicry；howsheusedtofetchtheginfromthepublic-house，andwasknowninallthestudiosinthequarter——inbrief，Mrs。Butegotsuchafullaccountofhernewniece’sparentage，education，andbehaviouraswouldscarcelyhavepleasedRebecca，hadthelatterknownthatsuchinquirieswerebeingmadeconcerningher。
OfalltheseindustriousresearchesMissCrawleyhadthefullbenefit。Mrs。RawdonCrawleywasthedaughterofanopera-girl。Shehaddancedherself。Shehadbeenamodeltothepainters。Shewasbroughtupasbecamehermother’sdaughter。Shedrankginwithherfather，&c。&c。Itwasalostwomanwhowasmarriedtoalostman；andthemoraltobeinferredfromMrs。Bute’stalewas，thattheknaveryofthepairwasirremediable，andthatnoproperlyconductedpersonshouldevernoticethemagain。
ThesewerethematerialswhichprudentMrs。ButegatheredtogetherinParkLane，theprovisionsandammunitionasitwerewithwhichshefortifiedthehouseagainstthesiegewhichsheknewthatRawdonandhiswifewouldlaytoMissCrawley。
Butifafaultmaybefoundwithherarrangements，itisthis，thatshewastooeager：shemanagedrathertoowell；undoubtedlyshemadeMissCrawleymoreillthanwasnecessary；andthoughtheoldinvalidsuccumbedtoherauthority，itwassoharassingandsevere，thatthevictimwouldbeinclinedtoescapeattheveryfirstchancewhichfellinherway。Managingwomen，theornamentsoftheirsex——womenwhoordereverythingforeverybody，andknowsomuchbetterthananypersonconcernedwhatisgoodfortheirneighbours，don’tsometimesspeculateuponthepossibilityofadomesticrevolt，oruponotherextremeconsequencesresultingfromtheiroverstrainedauthority。
Thus，forinstance，Mrs。Bute，withthebestintentionsnodoubtintheworld，andwearingherselftodeathasshedidbyforegoingsleep，dinner，freshair，forthesakeofherinvalidsister-in-law，carriedherconvictionoftheoldlady’sillnesssofarthatshealmostmanagedherintohercoffin。Shepointedouthersacrificesandtheirresultsonedaytotheconstantapothecary，Mr。Clump。
“Iamsure，mydearMr。Clump。”shesaid，“noeffortsofminehavebeenwantingtorestoreourdearinvalid，whomtheingratitudeofhernephewhaslaidonthebedofsickness。Inevershrinkfrompersonaldiscomfort：I
neverrefusetosacrificemyself。”
“Yourdevotion，itmustbeconfessed，isadmirable。”
Mr。Clumpsays，withalowbow；“but——“
“Ihavescarcelyclosedmyeyessincemyarrival：I
giveupsleep，health，everycomfort，tomysenseofduty。
WhenmypoorJameswasinthesmallpox，didIallowanyhirelingtonursehim？No。”
“Youdidwhatbecameanexcellentmother，mydearMadam——thebestofmothers；but——~’
“AsthemotherofafamilyandthewifeofanEnglishclergyman，Ihumblytrustthatmyprinciplesaregood。”
Mrs。Butesaid，withahappysolemnityofconviction；
“and，aslongasNaturesupportsme，never，never，Mr。
Clump，willIdesertthepostofduty。OthersmaybringthatgreyheadwithsorrowtothebedofsicknesshereMrs。Bute，wavingherhand，pointedtooneofoldMissCrawley’scoffee-colouredfronts，whichwasperchedonastandinthedressing-room，butIwillneverquitit。
Ah，Mr。Clump！Ifear，Iknow，thatthecouchneedsspiritualaswellasmedicalconsolation。”
“WhatIwasgoingtoobserve，mydearMadam。”——
heretheresoluteClumponcemoreinterposedwithablandair——“whatIwasgoingtoobservewhenyougaveutterancetosentimentswhichdoyousomuchhonour，wasthatIthinkyoualarmyourselfneedlesslyaboutourkindfriend，andsacrificeyourownhealthtooprodigallyinherfavour。”
“Iwouldlaydownmylifeformyduty，orforanymemberofmyhusband’sfamily。”Mrs。Buteinterposed。
“Yes，Madam，ifneedwere；butwedon’twantMrsButeCrawleytobeamartyr。”Clumpsaidgallantly。”DrSquillsandmyselfhavebothconsideredMissCrawley’scasewitheveryanxietyandcare，asyoumaysuppose。Weseeherlow-spiritedandnervous；familyeventshaveagitatedher。”
“Hernephewwillcometoperdition。”Mrs。Crawleycried。
“Haveagitatedher：andyouarrivedlikeaguardianangel，mydearMadam，apositiveguardianangel，I
assureyou，tosootheherunderthepressureofcalamity。
ButDr。SquillsandIwerethinkingthatouramiablefriendisnotinsuchastateasrendersconfinementtoherbednecessary。Sheisdepressed，butthisconfinementperhapsaddstoherdepression。Sheshouldhavechange，freshair，gaiety；themostdelightfulremediesinthepharmacopoeia。”Mr。Clumpsaid，grinningandshowinghishandsometeeth。”Persuadehertorise，dearMadam；
dragherfromhercouchandherlowspirits；insistuponhertakinglittledrives。Theywillrestoretherosestootoyourcheeks，ifImaysospeaktoMrs。ButeCrawley。”
“ThesightofherhorridnephewcasuallyinthePark，whereIamtoldthewretchdriveswiththebrazenpartnerofhiscrimes。”Mrs。Butesaidlettingthecatofselfishnessoutofthebagofsecrecy，“wouldcausehersuchashock，thatweshouldhavetobringherbacktobedagain。Shemustnotgoout，Mr。Clump。SheshallnotgooutaslongasIremaintowatchoverher；Andasformyhealth，whatmattersit？Igiveitcheerfully，sir。Isacrificeitatthealtarofmyduty。”
“Uponmyword，Madam。”Mr。Clumpnowsaidbluntly。”Iwon’tanswerforherlifeifsheremainslockedupinthatdarkroom。Sheissonervousthatwemayloseheranyday；andifyouwishCaptainCrawleytobeherheir，Iwarnyoufrankly，Madam，thatyouaredoingyourverybesttoservehim。”
“Graciousmercy！isherlifeindanger？”Mrs。Butecried。”Why，why，Mr。Clump，didyounotinformmesooner？”
Thenightbefore，Mr。ClumpandDr。SquillshadhadaconsultationoverabottleofwineatthehouseofSirLapinWarren，whoseladywasabouttopresenthimwithathirteenthblessing，regardingMissCrawleyandhercase。
“WhatalittleharpythatwomanfromHampshireis，Clump。”Squillsremarked，“thathasseizeduponoldTillyCrawley。DevilishgoodMadeira。”
“WhatafoolRawdonCrawleyhasbeen。”Clumpreplied。”togoandmarryagoverness！Therewassomethingaboutthegirl，too。”
“Greeneyes，fairskin，prettyfigure，famousfrontaldevelopment。”Squillsremarked。”Thereissomethingabouther；andCrawleywasafool，Squills。”
“Ad——fool——alwayswas。”theapothecaryreplied。
“Ofcoursetheoldgirlwillflinghimover。”saidthephysician，andafterapauseadded，“She’llcutupwell，I
suppose。”
“Cutup。”saysClumpwithagrin；“Iwouldn’thavehercutupfortwohundredayear。”
“ThatHampshirewomanwillkillherintwomonths，Clump，myboy，ifshestopsabouther。”Dr。Squillssaid。
“Oldwoman；fullfeeder；nervoussubject；palpitationoftheheart；pressureonthebrain；apoplexy；offshegoes。
Getherup，Clump；getherout：orIwouldn’tgivemanyweeks’purchaseforyourtwohundredayear。”AnditwasactinguponthishintthattheworthyapothecaryspokewithsomuchcandourtoMrs。ButeCrawley。
Havingtheoldladyunderherhand：inbed：withnobodynear，Mrs。Butehadmademorethanoneassaultuponher，toinducehertoalterherwill。ButMissCrawley’susualterrorsregardingdeathincreasedgreatlywhensuchdismalpropositionsweremadetoher，andMrs。
Butesawthatshemustgetherpatientintocheerfulspiritsandhealthbeforeshecouldhopetoattainthepiousobjectwhichshehadinview。Whithertotakeherwasthenextpuzzle。TheonlyplacewheresheisnotlikelytomeetthoseodiousRawdonsisatchurch，andthatwon’tamuseher，Mrs。Butejustlyfelt。”WemustgoandvisitourbeautifulsuburbsofLondon。”shethenthought。”I
heartheyarethemostpicturesqueintheworld“；andsoshehadasuddeninterestforHampstead，andHornsey，andfoundthatDulwichhadgreatcharmsforher，andgettinghervictimintohercarriage，drovehertothoserusticspots，beguilingthelittlejourneyswithconversationsaboutRawdonandhiswife，andtellingeverystorytotheoldladywhichcouldaddtoherindignationagainstthispairofreprobates。
PerhapsMrs。Butepulledthestringunnecessarilytight。
ForthoughsheworkedupMissCrawleytoaproperdislikeofherdisobedientnephew，theinvalidhadagreathatredandsecretterrorofhervictimizer，andpantedtoescapefromher。Afterabriefspace，sherebelledagainstHighgateandHornseyutterly。ShewouldgointothePark。Mrs。ButeknewtheywouldmeettheabominableRawdonthere，andshewasright。Onedayinthering，Rawdon’sstanhopecameinsight；Rebeccawasseatedbyhim。Intheenemy’sequipageMissCrawleyoccupiedherusualplace，withMrs。Buteonherleft，thepoodleandMissBriggsonthebackseat。Itwasanervousmoment，andRebecca’sheartbeatquickassherecognizedthecarriage；andasthetwovehiclescrossedeachotherinaline，sheclaspedherhands，andlookedtowardsthespinsterwithafaceofagonizedattachmentanddevotion。
Rawdonhimselftrembled，andhisfacegrewpurplebehindhisdyedmustachios。OnlyoldBriggswasmovedintheothercarriage，andcasthergreateyesnervouslytowardsheroldfriends。MissCrawley’sbonnetwasresolutelyturnedtowardstheSerpentine。Mrs。Butehappenedtobeinecstasieswiththepoodle，andwascallinghimalittledarling，andasweetlittlezoggy，andaprettypet。Thecarriagesmovedon，eachinhisline。
“Done，byJove。”Rawdonsaidtohiswife。
“Tryoncemore，Rawdon。”Rebeccaanswered。”Couldnotyoulockyourwheelsintotheirs，dearest？”
Rawdonhadnottheheartforthatmanoeuvre。Whenthecarriagesmetagain，hestoodupinhisstanhope；heraisedhishandreadytodoffhishat；helookedwithallhiseyes。ButthistimeMissCrawley’sfacewasnotturnedaway；sheandMrs。Butelookedhimfullintheface，andcuttheirnephewpitilessly。Hesankbackinhisseatwithanoath，andstrikingoutofthering，dashedawaydesperatelyhomewards。
ItwasagallantanddecidedtriumphforMrs。Bute。
Butshefeltthedangerofmanysuchmeetings，asshesawtheevidentnervousnessofMissCrawley；andshedeterminedthatitwasmostnecessaryforherdearfriend’shealth，thattheyshouldleavetownforawhile，andrecommendedBrightonverystrongly。
InWhichCaptainDobbinActsastheMessengerofHymenWithoutknowinghow，CaptainWilliamDobbinfoundhimselfthegreatpromoter，arranger，andmanagerofthematchbetweenGeorgeOsborneandAmelia。Butforhimitneverwouldhavetakenplace：hecouldnotbutconfessasmuchtohimself，andsmiledratherbitterlyashethoughtthatheofallmenintheworldshouldbethepersonuponwhomthecareofthismarriagehadfallen。
Butthoughindeedtheconductingofthisnegotiationwasaboutaspainfulataskascouldbesettohim，yetwhenhehadadutytoperform，CaptainDobbinwasaccustomedtogothroughitwithoutmanywordsormuchhesitation：and，havingmadeuphismindcompletely，thatifMissSedleywasbalkedofherhusbandshewoulddieofthedisappointment，hewasdeterminedtouseallhisbestendeavourstokeepheralive。
IforbeartoenterintominuteparticularsoftheinterviewbetweenGeorgeandAmelia，whentheformerwasbroughtbacktothefeetorshouldweventuretosaythearms？ofhisyoungmistressbytheinterventionofhisfriendhonestWilliam。AmuchharderheartthanGeorge’swouldhavemeltedatthesightofthatsweetfacesosadlyravagedbygriefanddespair，andatthesimpletenderaccentsinwhichshetoldherlittlebroken-
heartedstory：butasshedidnotfaintwhenhermother，trembling，broughtOsbornetoher；andassheonlygaverelieftoheroverchargedgrief，bylayingherheadonherlover’sshoulderandthereweepingforawhilethemosttender，copious，andrefreshingtears——oldMrs。
Sedley，toogreatlyrelieved，thoughtitwasbesttoleavetheyoungpersonstothemselves；andsoquittedEmmycryingoverGeorge’shand，andkissingithumbly，asifhewerehersupremechiefandmaster，andasifshewerequiteaguiltyandunworthypersonneedingeveryfavourandgracefromhim。
ThisprostrationandsweetunrepiningobedienceexquisitelytouchedandflatteredGeorgeOsborne。Hesawaslavebeforehiminthatsimpleyieldingfaithfulcreature，andhissoulwithinhimthrilledsecretlysomehowattheknowledgeofhispower。Hewouldbegenerous-