Atlast，whenthecompetitionhadbeenprolongedforsometime，theelephantcaptainandladydesistedfromtherace；andthehammercomingdown，theauctioneersaid：——“Mr。Lewis，twenty-five。”andMr。Lewis’schiefthusbecametheproprietorofthelittlesquarepiano。
Havingeffectedthepurchase，hesateupasifhewasgreatlyrelieved，andtheunsuccessfulcompetitorscatchingaglimpseofhimatthismoment，theladysaidtoherfriend。”Why，Rawdon，it’sCaptainDobbin。”
IsupposeBeckywasdiscontentedwiththenewpianoherhusbandhadhiredforher，orperhapstheproprietorsofthatinstrumenthadfetcheditaway，decliningfarthercredit，orperhapsshehadaparticularattachmentfortheonewhichshehadjusttriedtopurchase，recollectingitinolddays，whensheusedtoplayuponit，inthelittlesitting-roomofourdearAmeliaSedley。
ThesalewasattheoldhouseinRussellSquare，wherewepassedsomeeveningstogetheratthebeginningofthisstory。GoodoldJohnSedleywasaruinedman。HisnamehadbeenproclaimedasadefaulterontheStockExchange，andhisbankruptcyandcommercialexterminationhadfollowed。Mr。Osborne’sbutlercametobuysomeofthefamousportwinetotransfertothecellarsovertheway。
Asforonedozenwell-manufacturedsilverspoonsandforksatperoz。，andonedozendessertdittoditto，therewerethreeyoungstockbrokersMessrs。Dale，Spiggot，andDale，ofThreadneedleStreet，indeed，who，havinghaddealingswiththeoldman，andkindnessesfromhimindayswhenhewaskindtoeverybodywithwhomhedealt，sentthislittlesparoutofthewreckwiththeirlovetogoodMrs。Sedley；andwithrespecttothepiano，asithadbeenAmelia’s，andasshemightmissitandwantonenow，andasCaptainWilliamDobbincouldnomoreplayuponitthanhecoulddanceonthetightrope，itisprobablethathedidnotpurchasetheinstrumentforhisownuse。
Inaword，itarrivedthateveningatawonderfulsmallcottageinastreetleadingfromtheFulhamRoad——oneofthosestreetswhichhavethefinestromanticnames——
thiswascalledSt。AdelaideVillas，Anna-MariaRoadWest，wherethehouseslooklikebaby-houses；wherethepeople，lookingoutofthefirst-floorwindows，mustinfallibly，asyouthink，sitwiththeirfeetintheparlours；
wheretheshrubsinthelittlegardensinfrontbloomwithaperennialdisplayoflittlechildren’spinafores，littleredsocks，caps，&c。polyandriapolygynia；whenceyouhearthesoundofjinglingspinetsandwomensinging；
wherelittleporterpotshangontherailingssunningthemselves；whitherofeveningsyouseeCityclerkspaddingwearily：hereitwasthatMr。Clapp，theclerkofMr。Sedley，hadhisdomicile，andinthisasylumthegoodoldgentlemanhidhisheadwithhiswifeanddaughterwhenthecrashcame。
JosSedleyhadactedasamanofhisdispositionwould，whentheannouncementofthefamilymisfortunereachedhim。HedidnotcometoLondon，buthewrotetohismothertodrawuponhisagentsforwhatevermoneywaswanted，sothathiskindbroken-spiritedoldparentshadnopresentpovertytofear。Thisdone，Joswentonattheboarding-houseatCheltenhamprettymuchasbefore。Hedrovehiscurricle；hedrankhisclaret；heplayedhisrubber；hetoldhisIndianstories，andtheIrishwidowconsoledandflatteredhimasusual。
Hispresentofmoney，needfulasitwas，madelittleimpressiononhisparents；andIhaveheardAmeliasaythatthefirstdayonwhichshesawherfatherliftuphisheadafterthefailurewasonthereceiptofthepacketofforksandspoonswiththeyoungstockbrokers’love，overwhichheburstoutcryinglikeachild，beinggreatlymoreaffectedthanevenhiswife，towhomthepresentwasaddressed。EdwardDale，thejuniorofthehouse，whopurchasedthespoonsforthefirm，was，infact，verysweetuponAmelia，andofferedforherinspiteofall。
HemarriedMissLouisaCuttsdaughterofHighamandCutts，theeminentcornfactorswithahandsomefortunein1820；andisnowlivinginsplendour，andwithanumerousfamily，athiselegantvilla，MuswellHill。Butwemustnotlettherecollectionsofthisgoodfellowcauseustodivergefromtheprincipalhistory。
IhopethereaderhasmuchtoogoodanopinionofCaptainandMrs。CrawleytosupposethattheyeverwouldhavedreamedofpayingavisittosoremoteadistrictasBloomsbury，iftheythoughtthefamilywhomtheyproposedtohonourwithavisitwerenotmerelyoutoffashion，butoutofmoney，andcouldbeserviceabletotheminnopossiblemanner。Rebeccawasentirelysurprisedatthesightofthecomfortableoldhousewhereshehadmetwithnosmallkindness，ransackedbybrokersandbargainers，anditsquietfamilytreasuresgivenuptopublicdesecrationandplunder。Amonthafterherflight，shehadbethoughtherofAmelia，andRawdon，withahorse-laugh，hadexpressedaperfectwillingnesstoseeyoungGeorgeOsborneagain。”He’saveryagreeableacquaintance，Beck。”thewagadded。”I’dliketosellhimanotherhorse，Beck。I’dliketoplayafewmoregamesatbilliardswithhim。He’dbewhatI
callusefuljustnow，Mrs。C——ha，ha！”bywhichsortofspeechitisnottobesupposedthatRawdonCrawleyhadadeliberatedesiretocheatMr。Osborneatplay，butonlywishedtotakethatfairadvantageofhimwhichalmosteverysportinggentlemaninVanityFairconsiderstobehisduefromhisneighbour。
Theoldauntwaslongin“coming-to。”Amonthhadelapsed。RawdonwasdeniedthedoorbyMr。Bowls；hisservantscouldnotgetalodgmentinthehouseatParkLane；hislettersweresentbackunopened。MissCrawleyneverstirredout——shewasunwell——andMrs。Buteremainedstillandneverlefther。CrawleyandhiswifebothofthemauguredevilfromthecontinuedpresenceofMrs。Bute。
“Gad，IbegintoperceivenowwhyshewasalwaysbringingustogetheratQueen’sCrawley。”Rawdonsaid。
“Whatanartfullittlewoman！”ejaculatedRebecca。
“Well，Idon’tregretit，ifyoudon’t。”theCaptaincried，stillinanamorousrapturewithhiswife，whorewardedhimwithakissbywayofreply，andwasindeednotalittlegratifiedbythegenerousconfidenceofherhusband。
“Ifhehadbutalittlemorebrains。”shethoughttoherself，“Imightmakesomethingofhim“；butsheneverlethimperceivetheopinionshehadofhim；listenedwithindefatigablecomplacencytohisstoriesofthestableandthemess；laughedatallhisjokes；feltthegreatestinterestinJackSpatterdash，whosecab-horsehadcomedown，andBobMartingale，whohadbeentakenupinagambling-house，andTomCinqbars，whowasgoingtoridethesteeplechase。Whenhecamehomeshewasalertandhappy：whenhewentoutshepressedhimtogo：whenhestayedathome，sheplayedandsangforhim，madehimgooddrinks，superintendedhisdinner，warmedhisslippers，andsteepedhissoulincomfort。ThebestofwomenIhaveheardmygrandmothersayarehypocrites。Wedon’tknowhowmuchtheyhidefromus：howwatchfultheyarewhentheyseemmostartlessandconfidential：howoftenthosefranksmileswhichtheywearsoeasily，aretrapstocajoleoreludeordisarm——Idon’tmeaninyourmerecoquettes，butyourdomesticmodels，andparagonsoffemalevirtue。
Whohasnotseenawomanhidethedulnessofastupidhusband，orcoaxthefuryofasavageone？Weacceptthisamiableslavishness，andpraiseawomanforit：wecallthisprettytreacherytruth。Agoodhousewifeisofnecessityahumbug；andCornelia’shusbandwashoodwinked，asPotipharwas——onlyinadifferentway。
Bytheseattentions，thatveteranrake，RawdonCrawley，foundhimselfconvertedintoaveryhappyandsubmissivemarriedman。Hisformerhauntsknewhimnot。
Theyaskedabouthimonceortwiceathisclubs，butdidnotmisshimmuch：inthoseboothsofVanityFairpeopleseldomdomisseachother。Hissecludedwifeeversmilingandcheerful，hislittlecomfortablelodgings，snugmeals，andhomelyevenings，hadallthecharmsofnoveltyandsecrecy。Themarriagewasnotyetdeclaredtotheworld，orpublishedintheMorningPost。Allhiscreditorswouldhavecomerushingonhiminabody，hadtheyknownthathewasunitedtoawomanwithoutfortune。
“Myrelationswon’tcryfieuponme。”Beckysaid，withratherabitterlaugh；andshewasquitecontentedtowaituntiltheoldauntshouldbereconciled，beforesheclaimedherplaceinsociety。SoshelivedatBrompton，andmeanwhilesawnoone，oronlythosefewofherhusband’smalecompanionswhowereadmittedintoherlittledining-room。Thesewereallcharmedwithher。Thelittledinners，thelaughingandchatting，themusicafterwards，delightedallwhoparticipatedintheseenjoyments。MajorMartingaleneverthoughtaboutaskingtoseethemarriagelicence，CaptainCinqbarswasperfectlyenchantedwithherskillinmakingpunch。AndyoungLieutenantSpatterdashwhowasfondofpiquet，andwhomCrawleywouldofteninvitewasevidentlyandquicklysmittenbyMrs。Crawley；butherowncircumspectionandmodestyneverforsookherforamoment，andCrawley’sreputationasafire-eatingandjealouswarriorwasafurtherandcompletedefencetohislittlewife。
Therearegentlemenofverygoodbloodandfashioninthiscity，whoneverhaveenteredalady’sdrawing-
room；sothatthoughRawdonCrawley’smarriagemightbetalkedaboutinhiscounty，where，ofcourse，Mrs。
Butehadspreadthenews，inLondonitwasdoubted，ornotheeded，ornottalkedaboutatall。Helivedcomfortablyoncredit。Hehadalargecapitalofdebts，whichlaidoutjudiciously，willcarryamanalongformanyyears，andonwhichcertainmenabouttowncontrivetoliveahundredtimesbetterthanevenmenwithreadymoneycando。IndeedwhoistherethatwalksLondonstreets，butcanpointoutahalf-dozenofmenridingbyhimsplendidly，whileheisonfoot，courtedbyfashion，bowedintotheircarriagesbytradesmen，denyingthemselvesnothing，andlivingonwhoknowswhat？WeseeJackThriftlessprancinginthepark，ordartinginhisbroughamdownPallMall：weeathisdinnersservedonhismiraculousplate。”Howdidthisbegin。”wesay，“orwherewillitend？”“Mydearfellow。”IheardJackoncesay，“IowemoneyineverycapitalinEurope。”Theendmustcomesomeday，butinthemeantimeJackthrivesasmuchasever；peoplearegladenoughtoshakehimbythehand，ignorethelittledarkstoriesthatarewhisperedeverynowandthenagainsthim，andpronouncehimagood-natured，jovial，recklessfellow。
TruthobligesustoconfessthatRebeccahadmarriedagentlemanofthisorder。Everythingwasplentifulinhishousebutreadymoney，ofwhichtheirmenageprettyearlyfeltthewant；andreadingtheGazetteoneday，andcomingupontheannouncementof“LieutenantG。
OsbornetobeCaptainbypurchase，viceSmith，whoexchanges。”RawdonutteredthatsentimentregardingAmelia’slover，whichendedinthevisittoRussellSquare。
WhenRawdonandhiswifewishedtocommunicatewithCaptainDobbinatthesale，andtoknowparticularsofthecatastrophewhichhadbefallenRebecca’soldacquaintances，theCaptainhadvanished；andsuchinformationastheygotwasfromastrayporterorbrokerattheauction。
“Lookatthemwiththeirhookedbeaks。”Beckysaid，gettingintothebuggy，herpictureunderherarm，ingreatglee。”They’relikevulturesafterabattle。”
“Don’tknow。Neverwasinaction，mydear。AskMartingale；hewasinSpain，aide-de-camptoGeneralBlazes。”
“Hewasaverykindoldman，Mr。Sedley。”Rebeccasaid；“I’mreallysorryhe’sgonewrong。”
“Ostockbrokers——bankrupts——usedtoit，youknow。”
Rawdonreplied，cuttingaflyoffthehorse’sear。
“Iwishwecouldhaveaffordedsomeoftheplate，Rawdon。”thewifecontinuedsentimentally。”Five-and-
twentyguineaswasmonstrouslydearforthatlittlepiano。
WechoseitatBroadwood’sforAmelia，whenshecamefromschool。Itonlycostfive-and-thirtythen。”
“What-d’-ye-call’em——’Osborne，’willcryoffnow，I
suppose，sincethefamilyissmashed。Howcutupyourprettylittlefriendwillbe；hey，Becky？”
“Idaresayshe’llrecoverit。”Beckysaidwithasmile——andtheydroveonandtalkedaboutsomethingelse。
CHAPTERXVIII
WhoPlayedonthePianoCaptainDobbinBoughtOursurprisedstorynowfindsitselfforamomentamongveryfamouseventsandpersonages，andhangingontotheskirtsofhistory。WhentheeaglesofNapoleonBonaparte，theCorsicanupstart，wereflyingfromProvence，wheretheyhadperchedafterabriefsojourninElba，andfromsteepletosteepleuntiltheyreachedthetowersofNotreDame，IwonderwhethertheImperialbirdshadanyeyeforalittlecorneroftheparishofBloomsbury，London，whichyoumighthavethoughtsoquiet，thateventhewhirringandflappingofthosemightywingswouldpassunobservedthere？
“NapoleonhaslandedatCannes。”SuchnewsmightcreateapanicatVienna，andcauseRussiatodrophiscards，andtakePrussiaintoacorner，andTalleyrandandMetternichtowagtheirheadstogether，whilePrinceHardenberg，andeventhepresentMarquisofLondonderry，werepuzzled；buthowwasthisintelligencetoaffectayoungladyinRussellSquare，beforewhosedoorthewatchmansangthehourswhenshewasasleep：who，ifshestrolledinthesquare，wasguardedtherebytherailingsandthebeadle：who，ifshewalkedeversoshortadistancetobuyaribboninSouthamptonRow，wasfollowedbyBlackSambowithanenormouscane：whowasalwayscaredfor，dressed，puttobed，andwatchedoverbyeversomanyguardianangels，withandwithoutwages？BonDieu，Isay，isitnothardthatthefatefulrushofthegreatImperialstrugglecan’ttakeplacewithoutaffectingapoorlittleharmlessgirlofeighteen，whoisoccupiedinbillingandcooing，orworkingmuslincollarsinRussellSquare？Youtoo，kindly，homelyflower！