Becauseiftheydidn’tbelievethey’dgostraighttoheavenwhentheydiethey’dtrytolivebetter-atleast，soIthink。That’sthejuggleonwhichthep。p。’sraisethewindonfalsepretences。I’m，heresumed，withdramaticforce，asgoodanIrishmanasthatrudepersonItoldyouaboutattheoutsetandIwanttoseeeveryone，concludedhe，allcreedsandclassesproratahavingacomfortabletidysizedincome，innoniggardfashioneither，somethingintheneighbourhoodof#300perannumThat’sthevitalissueatstakeandit’sfeasibleandwouldbeprovocativeoffriendlierintercoursebetweenmanandman。Atleastthat’smyideaforwhatit’sworth。Icallthatpatriotism。Ubipatria，aswelearnedasmallsmatteringofinourclassicaldayinAlmaMater，vitabene。
Whereyoucanlivewell，thesenseis，ifyouwork。
Overhisuntasteableapologyforacupofcoffee，listeningtothissynopsisofthingsingeneral，Stephenstaredatnothinginparticular。
Hecouldhear，ofcourse，allkindsofwordschangingcolourlikethosecrabsaboutRingsendinthemorning，burrowingquicklyintoallcoloursofdifferentsortsofthesamesandwheretheyhadahomesomewherebeneathorseemedto。Thenhelookedupandsawtheeyesthatsaidordidn’tsaythewordsthevoiceheheardsaid-ifyouwork。
Countmeout，hemanagedtoremark，meaningtowork。
Theeyesweresurprisedatthisobservation，becauseashe，thepersonwhoownedthempro。tem。observed，orrather，hisvoicespeakingdid：Allmustwork，haveto，together。
Imean，ofcourse，theotherhastenedtoaffirm，workinthewidestpossiblesense。Alsoliterarylabour，notmerelyforthekudosofthething。
Writingforthenewspaperswhichisthereadiestchannelnowadays。That’sworktoo。Importantwork。Afterall，fromthelittleIknowofyou，afterallthemoneyexpendedonyoureducation，youareentitledtorecoupyourselfandcommandyourprice。Youhaveeverybitasmuchrighttolivebyyourpeninpursuitofyourphilosophyasthepeasanthas。What？YoubothbelongtoIreland，thebrainandthebrawn。Eachisequallyimportant。
Yoususpect，Stephenretortedwithasortofahalflaugh，thatI
maybeimportantbecauseIbelongtothefaubourgSaintPatricecalledIrelandforshort。
Iwouldgoastepfarther，MrBloominsinuated。
ButIsuspect，Stepheninterrupted，thatIrelandmustbeimportantbecauseitbelongstome。
Whatbelongs？queriedMrBloom，bending，fancyinghewasperhapsundersomemisapprehension。Excuseme。UnfortunatelyIdidn’tcatchthelatterportion。Whatwasityou？……
Stephen，patentlycrosstempered，repeatedandshovedasidehismugofcoffee，Orwhateveryouliketocallit，nonetoopolitely，adding：
Wecan’tchangethecountry。Letuschangethesubject。
Atthispertinentsuggestion，MrBloom，tochangethesubject，lookeddown，butinaquandary，ashecouldn’ttellexactlywhatconstructiontoputonbelongstowhichsoundedratherafarcry。Therebukeofsomekindwasclearerthantheotherpart。Needlesstosay，thefumesofhisrecentorgyspokethenwithsomeasperityinacuriousbitterway，foreigntohissoberstate。Probablythehomelife，towhichMrBloomattachedtheutmostimportance，hadnotbeenallthatwasneedfulorhehadn’tbeenfamiliarisedwiththerightsortofpeople。Withatouchoffearfortheyoungmanbesidehim，whomhefurtivelyscrutinisedwithanairofsomeconsternationrememberinghehadjustcomebackfromParis，theeyesmoreespeciallyremindinghimforciblyoffatherandsister，failingtothrowmuchlightonthesubject，however，hebroughttomindinstancesofculturedfellowsthatpromisedsobrilliantly，nippedinthebudofprematuredecay，andnobodytoblamebutthemselves。Forinstance，therewasthecaseofO’Callaghan，forone，thehalfcrazyfaddist，respectablyconnected，thoughofinadequatemeans，withhismadvagaries，amongwhoseothergaydoingswhenrottoandmakinghimselfanuisancetoeverybodyallroundhewasinthehabitofostentatiouslysportinginpublicasuitofbrownpaperafact。Andthentheusualdé；nouementafterthefunhadgoneonfastandfurioushegotlandedintohotwaterandhadtobespiritedawaybyafewfriends，afterastronghinttoablindhorsefromJohnMallonofLowerCastleYard，soasnottobemadeamenableundersectiontwooftheCriminalLawAmendmentAct，certainnamesofthosesubpoenaedbeinghandedinbutnotdivulged，forreasonswhichwilloccurtoanyonewithapickofbrains。Briefly，puttingtwoandtwotogether，sixsixteen，whichhepointedlyturnedadeafearto，Antonioandsoforth，jockeysandesthetesandthetattoowhichwasallthegointheseventiesorthereabouts，evenIntheHouseofLords，becauseearlyinlifetheoccupantofthethrone，thenheirapparent，theothermembersoftheuppertenandotherhighpersonagessimplyfollowinginthefootstepsoftheheadofthestate，hereflectedabouttheerrorsofnotorietiesandcrownedheadsrunningcountertomoralitysuchastheCornwallcaseanumberofyearsbeforeundertheirveneerinawayscarcelyintendedbynature，athinggoodMrsGrundyasthelawstandswasterriblydownon，thoughnotforthereasontheythoughttheywereprobably，whateveritwas，exceptwomenchiefly，whowerealwaysfiddlingmoreorlessatoneanother，itbeinglargelyamatterofdressandalltherestofit。Ladieswholikedistinctiveunderclothingshould，andeverywelltailoredmanmust，tryingtomakethegapwiderbetweenthembyinnuendoandgivemoreofagenuinefilliptoactsofimproprietybetweenthetwo，sheunbuttonedhisandthenheuntiedher，mindthepin，whereassavagesinthecannibalislands，say，atninetydegreesintheshadenotcaringacontinental。However，revertingtotheoriginal，therewereontheotherhandotherswhohadforcedtheirwaytothetopfromthelowestrungbytheaidoftheirbootstraps。Sheerforceofnaturalgenius，that。Withbrains，sir。
Forwhichandfurtherreasonshefeltitwasinterestanddutyeventowaitonandprofitbytheunlookedforoccasion，thoughwhy，hecouldnotexactlytell，being，asitwas，alreadyseveralshillingstothebad，having，infact，lethimselfinforit。Still，tocultivatetheacquaintanceofsomeoneofnouncommoncalibrewhocouldprovidefoodforreflectionwouldamplyrepayanysmall……Intellectualstimulationassuchwas，hefelt，fromtimetotimeafirstratetonicforthemind。Addedtowhichwasthecoincidenceofmeeting，discussion，dance，row，oldsalt，oftheheretodayandgonetomorrowtype，nightloafers，thewholegalaxyofevents，allwenttomakeupaminiaturecameooftheworldwelivein，especiallyasthelivesofthesubmergedtenth，viz。，coalminers，divers，scavengers，etc。，wereverymuchunderthemicroscopelately。ToimprovetheshininghourhewonderedwhetherhemightmeetwithanythingapproachingthesameluckasMrPhilipBeaufoyiftakendowninwriting。Supposeheweretopensomethingoutofthecommongrooveashefullyintendeddoingattherateofoneguineapercolumn，MyExperiences，letussay，inaCabman’sShelter。
Thepinkedition，extrasporting，oftheTelegraph，tellagraphiclie，lay，asluckwouldhaveit，besidehiselbowandashewasjustpuzzlingagain，farfromsatisfied，overacountrybelongingtohimandtheprecedingrebusthevesselcamefromBridgwaterandthepostcardwasaddressedtoA。Boudin，findthecaptain’sage，hiseyeswentaimlesslyovertherespectivecaptionswhichcameunderhisspecialprovince，theallembracinggiveusthisdayourdailypress。FirsthegotabitofastartbutitturnedouttobeonlysomethingaboutsomebodynamedH。duBoyes，agentfortypewritersorsomethinglikethat。GreatbattleTokio。LovemakinginIrish#200damages。
GordonBennett。Emigrationswindle。LetterfromHisGraceWilliam。AscotThrowawayrecallsDerbyof’92whenCaptainMarshall’sdarkhorse，SirHugo，capturedtheblueribandatlongodds。NewYorkdisaster，thousandliveslost。FootandMouth。FuneralofthelateMrPatrickDignam。
SotochangethesubjecthereadaboutDignam，R。I。P。，which，hereflected，wasanythingbutagaysendoff。
ThismorningHynesputitin，ofcourse，theremainsofthelateMrPatrickDignamwereremovedfromhisresidence，no9NewbridgeAvenue，Sandymount，forinternmentinClasnevin。Thedeceasedgentlemanwasamostpopularandgenialpersonalityincitylifeandhisdemise，afterabriefillness，cameasgreatshocktocitizensofallclassesbywhomheisdeeplyregretted。Theobsequies，atwhichmanyfriendsofthedeceasedwerepresent，werecarriedoutcertainlyHyneswroteitwithanudgefromCornybyMessrs。H。J。O’Neill&；Son，164NorthStrandroad。Themournersincluded：Patk。Dignamson，BernardCorriganmotherinlaw，JohnHenryMenton，solr。，MartinCunningham，JohnPowereatondph1/8adordoradordouradoramustbewherehecalledMonksthedayfatheraboutKeyes’sad，ThomasKernan，SimonDedalus，StephenDedalus，B。A。，EdwardJ。Lambert，CorneliusKelleher，JosephM’C。Hynes，L。Boom，C。P。M’Coy，-M’Intosh，andseveralothers。
NettlednotalittlebyL。Boomasitincorrectlystatedandthelineofbitchedtype，buttickledtodeathsimultaneouslybyC。P。
M’CoyandStephenDedalus，B。A。，whowereconspicuous，needlesstosay，bytheirtotalabsencetosaynothingofM’Intosh，L。BoompointeditouttohiscompanionB。A。，engagedinstiflinganotheryawn，halfnervousness，notforgettingtheusualcropofnonsensicalhowlersofmisprints。
IsthatfirstepistletotheHebrews，heasked，assoonashisbottomjawwouldlethim，in？Text：openthymouthandputthyfootinit。
Itis，really，MrBloomsaidthoughfirsthefanciedhealludedtothearchbishoptillheaddedaboutfootandmouthwithwhichtherecouldbenopossibleconnectionoverjoyedtosethismindatrestandabitflabbergastedatMylesCrawford’safterallmanagingthething，there。
WhiletheotherwasreadingitonpagetwoBoomtogivehimforthenoncehisnewmisnomerwhiledawayafewoddleisuremomentsinfitsandstartswiththeaccountofthethirdeventatAscotonpagethree，hissidevalue1，000sovs。，with3，000sovs。Inspecieaddedforentirecoltsandfillies，MrF。Alexander’sThrowaway，b。h。byRightaway，5yrs，9st4lbs，ThraleW。Lane1。LordHowarddeWalden’sZinfandelM。Cannon2。MrW。Bass’sSceptre，3。Betting5to4onZinfandel，20to1Throwawayoff。ThrowawayandZinfandelstoodcloseorder。Itwasanybody’sracethentherankoutsiderdrewtotheforegotlonglead，beatinglordHowarddeWalden’schestnutcoltandMrW。
Bass’sbayfillySceptreona21/2milecourse。WinnertrainedbyBrainesothatLenehan’sversionofthebusinesswasallpurebuncombe。Securedtheverdictcleverlybyalength。1，000sovs。，with3，000inspecie。AlsoranJ。deBremond’sFrenchhorseBantamLyonswasanxiouslyinquiringafternotinyetbutexpectedanyminuteMaximumII。Differentwaysofbringingoffacoup。Lovemakingdamages。ThoughthathalfbakedLyonsranoffatatangentinhisimpetuositytogetleft。Ofcourse，gamblingeminentlylentitselftothatsortofthingthough，astheeventturnedout，thepoorfoolhadn’tmuchreasontocongratulatehimselfonhispick，theforlornhope。Guessworkitreduceditselftoeventually。
Therewaseveryindicationtheywouldarriveatthat，MrBloomsaid。
Who？theother，whosehandbythewaywashurt，said。
Onemorningyouwouldopenthepaper，thecabmanaffirmed，andread，ReturnofParnell。Hebetthemwhattheyliked。ADublinfusilierwasinthatshelteronenightandsaidhesawhiminSouthAfrica。Prideitwaskilledhim。HeoughttohavedoneawaywithhimselforlainlowforatimeafterCommitteeRoomNo。15untilhewashisoldselfagainwithno-onetopointafingerathim。Thentheywouldalltoamanhavegonedownontheirmarrowbonestohimtocomebackwhenhehadrecoveredhissenses。Deadhewasn’t。Simplyabscondedsomewhere。Thecoffintheybroughtoverwasfullofstones。HechangedhisnametoDeWet，theBoergeneral。Hemadeamistaketofightthepriests。Andsoforthandsoon。
AllthesameBloomproperlysodubbedwasrathersurprisedattheirmemoriesforinninecasesoutoftenitwasacaseoftarbarrels，andnotsinglybutintheirthousands，andthencompleteoblivionbecauseitwastwentyoddyears。Highlyunlikely，ofcourse，therewasevenashadowoftruthinthestoriesand，evensupposing，hethoughtareturnhighlyinadvisable，allthingsconsidered。Somethingevidentlyriledtheminhisdeath。Eitherhepeteredouttootamelyofacutepneumoniajustwhenhisvariousdifferentpoliticalarrangementswerenearingcompletionorwhetherittranspiredheowedhisdeathtohishavingneglectedtochangehisbootsandclothesafterawettingwhenacoldresultedandfailingtoconsultaspecialisthebeingconfinedtohisroomtillheeventuallydiedofitamidwidespreadregretbeforeafortnightwasatanendorquitepossiblytheyweredistressedtofindthejobwastakenoutoftheirhands。Ofcoursenobodybeingacquaintedwithhismovementsevenbefore，therewasabsolutelynoclueastohiswhereaboutswhichweredecidedlyoftheAlice，whereartthouorderevenpriortohisstartingtogounderseveralaliasessuchasFoxandStewart，sotheremarkwhichemanatedfromfriendcabbymightbewithintheboundsofpossibility。Naturallythen，itwouldpreyonhismindasabornleaderofmen，whichundoubtedlyhewas，andacommanding