BLOOMImean，Leopardstown。AndMollywonsevenshillingsonathreeyearoldnamedNevertellandcominghomealongbyFoxrockinthatoldfiveseatershanderadanofawaggonetteyouwereinyourheydaythenandyouhadonthatnewhatofwhitevelourswithasurroundofmolefurthatMrsHayesadvisedyoutobuybecauseitwasmarkeddowntonineteenandeleven，abitofwireandanoldragofvelveteen，andI’lllayyouwhatyoulikeshediditonpurpose……
MRSBREENShedid，ofcourse，thecat！Don’ttellme！Niceadviser！
BLOOMBecauseitdidn’tsuityouonequarteraswellastheotherduckylittletammytoquewiththebirdofparadisewinginitthatIadmiredonyouandyouhonestlylookedjusttoofetchinginitthoughitwasapitytokillit，youcruelcreature，littlemiteofathingwithaheartthesizeofafullstop。
MRSBREENSqueezeshisarm，simpers。NaughtycruelIwas。
BLOOMLow，secretly，evermorerapidly。AndMollywaseatingasandwichofspicedbeefoutofMrsJoeGallaher’slunchbasket。Frankly，thoughshehadheradvisersoradmirers，Inevercaredmuchforherstyle。
Shewas。
MRSBREENToo。
BLOOMYes。AndMollywaslaughingbecauseRogersandMaggotO’ReillyweremimickingacockaswepassedafarmhouseandMarcusTertiusMoses，theteamerchant，drovepastusinagigwithhisdaughter，DancerMoseswashername，andthepoodleinherlapbridledupandyouaskedmeifIeverheardorreadorkneworcameacross。
MRSBREENEagerly。Yes，yes，yes，yes，yes，yes，yes。
Shefadesfromhisside。Followedbythewhiningdoghewalksontowardshellsgates。Inanarchwayastandingwoman，bentforward，herfeetapart，pissescowily。Outsideashutteredpubabunchofloitererslistentoatalewhichtheirbrokensnoutedgafferraspsoutwithraucoushumour。
Anarmlesspairofthemflopwrestling，growling，inmaimedsoddenplayfight。
THEGAFFERCrouches，hisvoicetwistedinhissnout。AndwhenCairnscamedownfromthescaffoldinginBeaverStreetwhatwasheafterdoingitintoonlyintothebucketofporterthatwastherewaitingontheshavingsforDerwan’splasterers。
THELOITERERSGuffawwithcleftpalates。Ojays！
Theirpaintspeckledhatswag。Spatteredwithsizeandlimeoftheirlodgestheyfrisklimblesslyabouthim。
BLOOMCoincidencetoo。Theythinkitfunny。Anythingbutthat。Broaddaylight。Tryingtowalk。Luckynowoman。
THELOITERERSJays，that’sagoodone。Glaubersalts。Ojays，intothemen’sporter。
Bloompasses。Cheapwhores，singly，coupled，shawled，dishevelled，callfromlanes，doors，corners。
THEWHORESAreyougoingfar，queerfellow？How’syourmiddleleg？Gotamatchonyou？Eh，comeheretillIstiffenitforyou。
Heplodgesthroughtheirsumptowardsthelightedstreetbeyond。
Fromabulgeofwindowcurtainsagramophonerearsabatteredbrazentrunk。
Intheshadowashebeenkeeperhaggleswiththenavvyandthetworedcoats。
THENAVVYBelching。Where’sthebloodyhouse？
THESHEBEENKEEPERPurdonstreet。Shillingabottleofstout。Respectablewoman。
THENAVVYGrippingthetworedcoats，staggersforwardwiththem。
Comeon，youBritisharmy！
PRIVATECARRBehindhisback。Heainthalfbalmy。
PRIVATECOMPTONLAughs。Whatho！
PRIVATECARRTothenavvy。Portobellobarrackscanteen。YouaskforCarr。JustCarr。
THENAVVYShouts。
Wearetheboys。OfWexford。
PRIVATECOMPTONSay！Whatpricethesergeantmajor？
PRIVATECARRBennett？He’smypal。IloveoldBennett。
THENAVVYShouts。Thegallingchain。
Andfreeournativeland。Hestaggersforward，draggingthemwithhim。Bloomstops，atfault。
Thedogapproaches，histongueoutlolling，panting。
BLOOMWildgoosechasethis。Disorderlyhouses。Lordknowswheretheyaregone。Drunkscoverdistancedoublequick。Nicemixup。SceneatWestlandrow。Thenjumpinfirstclasswiththirdticket。Thentoofar。Trainwithenginebehind。MighthavetakenmetoMalahideorasidingforthenightorcollision。Seconddrinkdoesit。Onceisadose。WhatamIfollowinghimfor？Still，he’sthebestofthatlot。IfIhadn’theardaboutMrsBeaufoyPurefoyIwouldn’thavegoneandwouldn’thavemet。Kismet。He’lllosethatcash。Relievingofficehere。Goodbizforcheapjacks，organs。
Whatdoyelack？Soongot，soongone。Mighthavelostmylifetoowiththatmangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernautonlyforpresenceofmind。
Can’talwayssaveyou，though。IfIhadpassedTruelock’swindowthatdaytwominuteslaterwouldhavebeenshot。Absenceofbody。Stillifbulletonlywentthroughmycoatgetdamagesforshock，fivehundredpounds。Whatwashe？Kildarestreetclubtoff。Godhelphisgamekeeper。
HegazesaheadreadingonthewallascrawledchalklegendWetDreamandaphallicdesign。
Odd！MollydrawingonthefrostedcarriagepaneatKingstown。What’sthatlike？Gaudydollwomenlollinthelighteddoorways，inwindowembrasures，smokingbirdseyecigarettes。Theodourofthesicksweetweedfloatstowardshiminslowroundovallingwreaths。
THEWREATHSSweetarethesweets。Sweetsofsin。
BLOOMMyspine’sabitlimp。Goorturn？Andthisfood？Eatitandgetallpigsticky。AbsurdIam。Wasteofmoney。Oneandeightpencetoomuch。
Theretrieverdrivesacoldsnivellingmuzzleagainsthishand，wagginghistail。Strangehowtheytaketome。Eventhatbrutetoday。Betterspeaktohimfirst。Likewomentheylikerencontres。Stinkslikeapolecat。Chacunsongoû；t。Hemightbemad。Fido。Uncertaininhismovements。Goodfellow！Garryowen！Thewolfdogsprawlsonhisback，wrigglingobscenelywithbeggingpaws，hislongblacktonguelollingout。Influenceofhissurroundings。Giveandhavedonewithit。Providednobody。Callingencouragingwordsheshamblesbackwithafurtivepoacher’stread，doggedbythesetterintoadarkstalestunkcorner。Heunrollsoneparcelandgoestodumpthecrubeensoftlybutholdsbackandfeelsthetrotter。Sizeableforthreepence。ButthenIhaveitinmylefthand。
Callsformoreeffort。Why？Smallerfromwantofuse。O，letitslide。
Twoandsix。
Withregretheletsunrolledcrubeenandtrotterslide。Themastiffmaulsthebundleclumsilyandglutshimselfwithgrowlinggreed，crunchingthebones。Tworaincapedwatchapproach，silent，vigilant。Theymurmurtogether。
THEWATCHBloom。OfBloom。ForBloom。Bloom。
EachlaysahandonBloomsshoulder。
FIRSTWATCHCaughtintheact。Commitnonuisance。
BLOOMStammers。Iamdoinggoodtoothers。
Acoveyofgulls，stormpetrels，riseshungrilyfromLiffeyslimewithBanburycakesintheirbeaks。
THEGULLSKawkavekankurykake。
BLOOMThefriendofman。Trainedbykindness。
Hepoints。BobDoran，topplingfromahighbarstool，swaysoverthemunchingspaniel。
BOBDORANTowser。Giveusthepaw。Givethepaw。
Thebulldoggrowls，hisscruffstanding，agobbetofpigsknucklebetweenhismolarsthroughwhichrabidscrumspittledribbles。BobDoranfallssilentlyintoanarea。
SECONDWATCHPreventionofcrueltytoanimals。
BLOOMEnthusiastically。Anoblework！IscoldedthattramdriveronHarold’scrossbridgeforillusingthepoorhorsewithhisharnessscab。
BadFrenchIgotformypains。Ofcourseitwasfrostyandthelasttram。
Alltalesofcircuslifearehighlydemoralising。
SignorMaffei，passionpale，inliontamer’scostumewithdiamondstudsinhisshirtfront，stepsforward，holdingacircuspaperhoop，acurlingcarriagewhipandarevolverwithwhichhecoversthegoingboarhound。
SIGNORMAFFEIWithasinistersmile。Ladiesandgentlemen，myeducatedgreyhound。ItwasIbrokeinthebuckingbronchoAjaxwithmypatentspikedsaddleforcarnivores。Lashunderthebellywithaknottedthong。Blocktackleandastranglingpullywillbringyourliontoheel，nomatterhowfractious，evenLeoferoxthere，theLibyanmaneater。
AredhotcrowbarandsomelinimentrubbingontheburningpartproducedFritzofAmsterdam，thethinkinghyena。Heglares。IpossesstheIndiansign。Theglintofmyeyedoesitwiththesebreastsparklers。Withabewitchingsmile。InowintroduceMademoiselleRuby，theprideofthering。
FIRSTWATCHCome。Nameandaddress。
BLOOMIhaveforgottenforthemoment。Ah，yes！Hetakesoffhishighgradehat，saluting。DrBloom，Leopold，dentalsurgeon。YouhaveheardofvonBloomPasha。Umpteenmillions。Donnerwetter！OwnshalfAustria。Egypt。Cousin。
FIRSTWATCHProof。
AcardfallsfrominsidetheleatherheadbandofBloom’shat。
BLOOMInredfez，cadi’sdresscoatwithbroadgreensash，wearingafalsebadgeoftheLegionofHonour，picksupthecardhastilyandoffersit。Allowme。MyclubistheJuniorArmyandNavy。Solicitors：MessrsJohnHenryMenton，27Bachelor’sWalk。
FIRSTWATCHReads。HenryFlower。Nofixedabode。Unlawfullywatchingandbesetting。
SECONDWATCHAnalibi。Youarecautioned。
BLOOMProducesfromhisheartpocketacrumpledyellowflower。
Thisistheflowerinquestion。ItwasgivenmebyamanIdon’tknowhisname。Plausibly。Youknowthatoldjoke，roseofCastille。Bloom。
ThechangeofnameVirag。Hemurmursprivatelyandconfidentially。
Weareengagedyousee，sergeant。Ladyinthecase。Loveentanglement。
Heshouldersthesecondwatchgently。Dashitall。It’sawaywegallantshaveinthenavy。Uniformthatdoesit。Heturnsgravelytothefirstwatch。Still，ofcourse，youdogetyourWaterloosometimes。
DropinsomeeveningandhaveaglassofoldBurgundy。Tothesecondwatchgaily。I’llintroduceyou，inspector。She’sgame。Doitinshakeofalamb’stail。
Adarkmercurialisedfaceappears，leadingaveiledfigure。
THEDARKMERCURYTheCastleislookingforhim。Hewasdrummedoutofthearmy。
MARTHAThickveiled，acrimsonhalterroundherneck，acopyoftheIrishTimesinherhand，intoneofreproach，pointing。Henry！Leopold！
Leopold！Lionel，thoulostone！Clearmyname。
FIRSTWATCHSternly。Cometothestation。
BLOOMScared，hatshimselfstepsback，then，pluckingathisheartandliftinghisrightforearmonthesquare，hegivesthesignanddueguardoffellowcraft。No，no，worshipfulmaster，lightoflove。Mistakenidentity。TheLyonsmail。LesurquesandDubosc。YouremembertheChildsfratricidecase。Wemedicalmen。Bystrikinghimdeadwithahatchet。I
amwrongfullyaccused。Betteroneguiltyescapethanninetyninewrongfullycondemned。
MARTHASobbingbehindherveil。Breachofpromise。MyrealnameisPeggyGriffin。Hewrotetomethathewasmiserable。I’lltellmybrother，theBectiveruggerfullback，onyou，heartlessflirt。
BLOOMBehindhishand。She’sdrunk。Thewomanisinebriated。
HemurmursvaguelythepastofEphraim。Shitbroleeth。
SECONDWATCHTearsinhiseyes，toBloom。Yououghttobethoroughlywellashamedofyourself。
BLOOMGentlemanofthejury，letmeexplain。Apuremare’snest。Iamamanmisunderstood。Iambeingmadeascapegoatof。Iamarespectablemarriedman，withoutastainonmycharacter。IliveinEcclesstreet。
Mywife，Iamthedaughterofamostdistinguishedcommander，agallantupstandinggentleman，whodoyoucallhim，MajorgeneralBrianTweedy，oneofBritain’sfightingmenwhohelpedtowinourbattles。GothismajorityfortheheroicdefenceofRorke’sDrift。
FIRSTWATCHRegiment。
BLOOMTurnstothegallery。TheroyalDublins，boys，thesaltoftheearth，knowntheworldover。IthinkIseesomeoldcomradesinarmsupthereamongyou。TheR。D。F。WithourownMetropolitanpolice，guardiansofourhomes，thepluckiestladsandthefinestbodyofmen，asphysique，intheserviceofoursovereign。