GaGaGara。KlookKlookKlook。BlackLizisourhen。Shelayseggsforus。Whenshelayshereggsheissoglad。Gara。KlookKlookKlook。ThencomesgooduncleLeo。HeputshishandunderblackLizandtakesherfreshegg。GagagagaGara。KlookKlookKlook。
Anyhow，saysJoe。FieldandNannettiaregoingovertonighttoLondontoaskaboutitontheflooroftheHouseofCommons。
Areyousure，saysBloom，thecouncillorisgoing？Iwantedtoseehim，asithappens。
Well，he’sgoingoffbythemailboat，saysJoe，tonight。
That’stoobad，saysBloom。Iwantedparticularly。PerhapsonlyMrFieldisgoing。Icouldn’tphone。No。You’resure？
Nannan’sgoingtoo，saysJoe。TheleaguetoldhimtoaskaquestiontomorrowaboutthecommissionerofpoliceforbiddingIrishgamesinthepark。Whatdoyouthinkofthat，citizen？TheSluaghnah-Eireann。
MrCoweConacreMultifarnham。Nat：Arisingoutofthequestionofmyhonourablefriend，thememberforShillelagh，mayIasktherighthonourablegentlemanwhethertheGovernmenthasissuedordersthattheseanimalsshallbeslaughteredthoughnomedicalevidenceisforthcomingastotheirpathologicalcondition？
MrAllfoursTamoshant。Con：Honourablemembersarealreadyinpossessionoftheevidenceproducedbeforeacommitteeofthewholehouse。IfeelIcannotusefullyaddanythingtothat。Theanswertothehonourablemember’squestionisintheaffirmative。
MrOrelliMontenotte。Nat：HavesimilarordersbeenissuedfortheslaughterofhumananimalswhodaretoplayIrishgamesinthePhnixpark？
MrAllfours：Theanswerisinthenegative。
MrCoweConacre：Hastherighthonourablegentleman’sfamousMitchelstowntelegraminspiredthepolicyofgentlemenonthetreasurybench？O！O！
MrAllfours：Imusthavenoticeofthatquestion。
MrStaylewitBuncombe。Ind。：Don’thesitatetoshoot。
Ironicaloppositioncheers。
Thespeaker：Order！Order！
Thehouserises。Cheers。
There’stheman，saysJoe，thatmadetheGaelicsportsrevival。Thereheissittingthere。ThemanthatgotawayJamesStephens。ThechampionofallIrelandatputtingthesixteenpoundshot。Whatwasyourbestthrow，citizen？
Nabacleis，saysthecitizen，lettingontobemodest。TherewasatimeIwasasgoodasthenextfellowanyhow。
Putitthere，citizen，saysJoe。Youwereandabloodysightbetter。
Isthatreallyafact？saysAlf。
Yes，saysBloom。That’swellknown。Doyounotknowthat？
SoofftheystartedaboutIrishsportandshoneengamesthelikeofthelawntennisandabouthurleyandputtingthestoneandracyofthesoilandbuildingupanationonceagainandallofthat。AndofcourseBloomhadtohavehissaytooaboutifafellowhadarower’sheartviolentexercisewasbad。IdeclaretomyantimacassarifyoutookupastrawfromthebloodyfloorandifyousaidtoBloom：Lookat，Bloom。Doyouseethatstraw？That’sastraw。Declaretomyaunthe’dtalkaboutitforanhoursohewouldandtalksteady。
AmostinterestingdiscussiontookplaceintheancienthallofBrianO’Ciarnain’sinSraidnaBretaineBheag，undertheauspicesofSluaghnah-Eireann，ontherevivalofancientGaelicsportsandtheimportanceofphysicalculture，asunderstoodinancientGreeceandancientRomeandancientIreland，forthedevelopmentoftherace。
Thevenerablepresidentofthisnobleorderwasinthechairandtheattendancewasoflargedimensions。Afteraninstructivediscoursebythechairman，amagnificentorationeloquentlyandforciblyexpressed，amostinterestingandinstructivediscussionoftheusualhighstandardofexcellenceensuedastothedesirabilityoftherevivabilityoftheancientgamesandsportsofourancientpancelticforefathers。Thewellknownandhighlyrespectedworkerinthecauseo！ouroldtongue，MrJosephM’CarthyHynes，madeaneloquentappealfortheresuscitationoftheancientGaelicsportsandpastimes，practisedmorningandeveningbyFinnMacCool，ascalculatedtorevivethebesttraditionsofmanlystrengthandpowerhandeddowntousfromancientages。L。Bloom，whometwithamixedreceptionofapplauseandhisses，havingespousedthenegativethevocalistchairmanbroughtthediscussiontoaclose，inresponsetorepeatedrequestsandheartyplauditsfromallpartsofabumperhouse，byaremarkablynoteworthyrenderingoftheimmortalThomasOsborneDavis’evergreenverseshappilytoofamiliartoneedrecallinghereAnationonceagainintheexecutionofwhichtheveteranpatriotchampionmaybesaidwithoutfearofcontradictiontohavefairlyexcelledhimself。TheIrishCaruso-Garibaldiwasinsuperlativeformandhisstentoriannoteswereheardtothegreatestadvantageinthetimehonouredanthemsungasonlyourcitizencansingit。Hissuperbhighclassvocalism，whichbyitssuperqualitygreatlyenchancedhisalreadyinternationalreputation，wasvociferouslyapplaudedbythelargeaudienceamongstwhichweretobenoticedmanyprominentmembersoftheclergyaswellasrepresentativesofthepressandthebarandtheotherlearnedprofessions。Theproceedingsthenterminated。
Amongsttheclergypresentweretheveryrev。WilliamDelany，S。J。，L。L。D。；thertrev。GeraldMolloy，D。D。；therev。P。J。Kavanagh，C。
S。Sp。；therev。T。Waters，C。C。；therev。JohnM。Ivers，P。P。；therev。
P。J。Cleary，O。S。F。；therev。L。J。Hickey，O。P。；theveryrev。Fr。
Nicholas，O。S。F。C。；theveryrev。B。Gorman。O。D。C。；therev。T。Maher，S。J。；theveryrev。JamesMurphy，S。J。；therev。JohnLavery，V。F。；
theveryrev。WilliamDoherty，D。D。；therev。PeterFagan，O。M。；therev。T。Brangan，O。S。A。；therev。J。Flavin，C。C。；therev。M。A。Hackett，C。C。；therev。W。Hurley，C。C。；thertrev。MgrM’Manus，V。G。；therev。
B。R。Slattery，O。M。I。；theveryrev。M。D。Scally，P。P。；therev。F。
T。Purcell，O。P。；theveryrev。TimothycanonGorman，P。P。；therev。
J。Flanagan，C。C。ThelaityincludedP。Fay，T。Quirke，etc。，etc。
Talkingaboutviolentexercise，saysAlf，wereyouatthatKeogh-Bennettmatch？
No，saysJoe。
IheardSoandSomadeacoolhundredquidoverit，saysAlf。
Who？Blazes？saysJoe。
AndsaysBloom：
WhatImeantabouttennis，forexample，istheagilityandtrainingoftheeye。
Ay，Blazes，saysAlf。HeletoutthatMylerwasonthebeertoruntheoddsandheswattingallthetime。
Weknowhim，saysthecitizen。Thetraitor’sson。WeknowwhatputEnglishgoldinhispocket。
Trueforyou，saysJoe。
AndBloomcutsinagainaboutlawntennisandthecirculationoftheblood，askingAlf：
Nowdon’tyouthink，Bergan？
Mylerdustedthefloorwithhim，saysAlf。HeenanandSayerswasonlyabloodyfooltoit。Handedhimthefatherandmotherofabeating。
Seethelittlekippernotuptohisnavelandthebigfellowswiping。God，hegavehimonelastpuckinthewind。Queensberryrulesandall，madehimpukewhatheneverate。
ItwasahistoricandaheftybattlewhenMylerandPercywerescheduledtodontheglovesforthepurseoffiftysovereigns。Handicappedashewasbylackofpoundage，Dublin’spetlambmadeupforitbysuperlativeskillinringcraft。Thefinalboutoffireworkswasagruellingforbothchampions。ThewelterweightsergeantmajorhadtappedsomelivelyclaretinthepreviousmixupduringwhichKeoghhadbeenreceivergeneralofrightsandlefts，theartillerymanputtinginsomeneatworkonthepet’snose，andMylercameonlookinggroggy。ThesoldiergottobusinessleadingoffwithapowerfulleftjabtowhichtheIrishgladiatorretaliatedbyshootingoutastiffoneflushtothepointofBennett’sjaw。TheredcoatduckedbuttheDublinerliftedhimwithalefthook，thebodypunchbeingafineone。Themencametohandigrips。Mylerquicklybecamebusyandgothismanunder，theboutendingwiththebulkiermanontheropes，Mylerpunishinghim。TheEnglishman，whoserighteyewasnearlyclosed，tookhiscornerwherehewasliberallydrenchedwithwaterand，whenthebellwent，cameongameyandbrimfulofpluck，confidentofknockingoutthefisticEblaniteinjigtime。Itwasafighttoafinishandthebestmanforit。Thetwofoughtliketigersandexcitementranfeverhigh。TherefereetwicecautionedPuckingPercyforholdingbutthepetwastrickyandhisfootworkatreattowatch。Afterabriskexchangeofcourtesiesduringwhichasmartuppercutofthemilitarymanbroughtbloodfreelyfromhisopponent’smouththelambsuddenlywadedinalloverhismanandlandedaterrificlefttoBattlingBennett’sstomach，flooringhimflat。Itwasaknockoutcleanandclever。AmidtenseexpectationthePortobellobruiserwasbeingcountedoutwhenBennett’ssecondOlePfottsWettsteinthrewinthetowelandtheSantryboywasdeclaredvictortothefrenziedcheersofthepublicwhobrokethroughtheringropesandfairlymobbedhimwithdelight。
Heknowswhichsidehisbreadisbuttered，saysAlf。Ihearhe’srunningaconcerttournowupinthenorth。
Heis，saysJoe。Isn’the？
Who？saysBloom。Ah，yes。That’squitetrue。Yes，akindofsummertour，yousee。Justaholiday。
MrsB。isthebrightparticularstar，isn’tshe？saysJoe。
Mywife？saysBloom。She’ssinging，yes。Ithinkitwillbeasuccesstoo。He’sanexcellentmantoorganise。Excellent。
Hohobegob，saysItomyself，saysI。Thatexplainsthemilkinthecocoanutandabsenceofhairontheanimal’schest。Blazesdoingthetootleontheflute。Concerttour。DirtyDanthedodger’ssonoffIslandbridgethatsoldthesamehorsestwiceovertothegovernmenttofighttheBoers。
OldWhatwhat。Icalledaboutthepoorandwaterrate，MrBoylan。Youwhat？
Thewaterrate，MrBoylan。Youwhatwhat？That’sthebuckothat’llorganiseher，takemytip。’TwixtmeandyouCaddereesh。
PrideofCalpe’srockymount，theravenhaireddaughterofTweedy。Theregrewshetopeerlessbeautywhereloquatandalmondscenttheair。ThegardensofAlamedaknewherstep：thegarthsofolivesknewandbowed。
ThechastespouseofLeopoldisshe：Marionofthebountifulbosoms。
Andlo，thereenteredoneoftheclanoftheO’Molloys，acomelyheroofwhitefaceyetwithalsomewhatruddy，hismajesty’scounsellearnedinthelaw，andwithhimtheprinceandheirofthenoblelineofLambert。
Hello，Ned。
Hello，Alf。
Hello，Jack。
Hello，Joe。
Godsaveyou，saysthecitizen。
Saveyoukindly，saysJ。J。What’llitbe，Ned？
Halfone，saysNed。
SoJ。J。orderedthedrinks。
Wereyouroundatthecourt？saysJoe。
Yes，saysJ。J。He’llsquarethat，Ned，sayshe。
Hopeso，saysNed。
Nowwhatwerethosetwoat？J。J。gettinghimoffthegrandjurylistandtheothergivehimalegoverthestile。WithhisnameinStubbs’s。
Playingcards，hobnobbingwithflashtoffswithaswankglassintheireye，drinkingfizzandhehalfsmotheredinwritsandgarnisheeorders。
PawninghisgoldwatchinCumminsofFrancisstreetwhereno-onewouldknowhimintheprivateofficewhenIwastherewithPisserreleasinghisbootsoutofthepop。What’syourname，sir？Dunne，sayshe。Ay，anddone，saysI。Gob，ye’llcomehomebyweepingcrossoneofthesedays，I’mthinking。
DidyouseethatbloodylunaticBreenroundthere，saysAlf。U。p。
up。
Yes，saysJ。J。Lookingforaprivatedetective。
Ay，saysNed，andhewantedrightgowrongtoaddressthecourtonlyCornyKellehergotroundhimtellinghimtogetthehandwritingexaminedfirst。
Tenthousandpounds，saysAlflaughing。GodI’dgiveanythingtohearhimbeforeajudgeandjury。
Wasityoudidit，Alf？saysJoe。Thetruth，thewholetruthandnothingbutthetruth，sohelpyouJimmyJohnson。
Me？saysAlf。Don’tcastyournasturtiumsonmycharacter。
Whateverstatementyoumake，saysJoe，willbetakendowninevidenceagainstyou。