Suchdisgracefulscenesornearlysuchhavebeenrepeatedmorethanonce。Idon’tsaymuchtoArthuraboutit，forifIdid，itwoulddomoreharmthangood；butIlethimknowthatIintenselydislikesuchexhibitions；andeachtimehehaspromisedtheyshouldneveragainberepeated；
butIfearheislosingthelittleself-commandandself-respectheoncepossessed：formerly，hewouldhavebeenashamedtoactthus——atleast，beforeanyotherwitnessesthanhisbooncompanions，orsuchasthey。HisfriendHargrave，withaprudenceandself-governmentthatIenvyforhim，neverdisgraceshimselfbytakingmorethansufficienttorenderhimalittle`elevated，’andisalwaysthefirsttoleavethetable，afterLordLowborough，who，wiserstill，perseveresinvacatingthedining-roomimmediatelyafterus；butneveronce，sinceAnnabellaoffendedhimsodeeply，hasheenteredthedrawing-roombeforetherest；alwaysspendingtheinteriminthelibrary，whichItakecaretohavelightedforhisaccommodation——or，onfinemoonlightnights，inroamingaboutthegrounds。ButIthinksheregretshermisconduct，forshehasneverrepeateditsince，andoflateshehascomportedherselfwithwonderfulproprietytowardshim，treatinghimwithmoreuniformkindnessandconsiderationthaneverIhaveobservedhertodobefore。IdatethetimeofthisimprovementfromtheperiodwhensheceasedtohopeandstriveforArthur’sadmiration。
TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter32CHAPTERXXXIICOMPARISONS：INFORMATIONREJECTEDOctober5th——EstherHargraveisgettingafinegirl。Sheisnotoutoftheschool-roomyet，buthermotherfrequentlybringsherovertocallinthemorningswhenthegentlemenareout，andsometimesshespendsanhourortwoincompanywithhersister，andme，andthechildren；andwhenwegototheGrove，Ialwayscontrivetoseeher，andtalkmoretoherthantoanyoneelse，forIamverymuchattachedtomylittlefriend，andsoisshetome。Iwonderwhatshecanseetolikeinmethough，forIamnolongerthehappy，livelygirlIusedtobe；butshehasnoothersociety——savethatofheruncongenialmother，andhergovernessasartificialandconventionalapersonasthatprudentmothercouldprocuretorectifythepupil’snaturalqualities，and，nowandthen，hersubdued，quietsister。
Ioftenwonderwhatwillbeherlotinlife——andsodoesshe；butherspeculationsonthefuturearefullofbuoyanthope——soweremineonce。Ishuddertothinkofherbeingawakenedlikemetoasenseoftheirdelusivevanity。ItseemsasifIshouldfeelherdisappointmentevenmoredeeplythanmyown：Ifeel，almost，asifIwerebornforsuchafate，butsheissojoyousandfresh，solightofheartandfreeofspirit，andsoguilelessandunsuspectingtoo——oh，itwouldbecrueltomakeherfeelasIfeelnow，andknowwhatIhaveknown！
Hersistertremblesforhertoo。Yesterdaymorning，oneofOctober’sbrightest，loveliestdays，MilicentandIwereinthegardenenjoyingabriefhalfhourtogetherwithourchildren，whileAnnabellawaslyingonthedrawing-roomsofa，deepinthelastnewnovel。Wehadbeenrompingwiththelittlecreatures，almostasmerryandwildasthemselves，andnowpausedintheshadeofthetallcopperbeech，torecoverbreathandrectifyourhair，disorderedbytheroughplayandthefrolicsomebreeze——whiletheytoddledtogetheralongthebroad，sunnywalk；myArthursupportingthefeeblerstepsofherlittleHelen，andsagaciouslypointingouttoherthebrightestbeautiesoftheborderastheypassed，withsemi-articulateprattlethatdidaswellforherasanyothermodeofdiscourse。Fromlaughingattheprettysight，webegantotalkofthechildren’sfuturelife；andthatmadeusthoughtful。Webothrelapsedintosilentmusingasweslowlyproceededupthewalk；andIsupposeMilicentbyatrainofassociationswasledtothinkofhersister。
`Helen，’saidshe，`youoftenseeEsther，don’tyou？’
`Notveryoften。’
`ButyouhavemorefrequentopportunitiesofmeetingherthanIhave：andshelovesyouIknow，andreverencesyoutoo：thereisnobody’sopinionshethinkssomuchof，andshesaysyouhavemoresensethanmamma。’
`Thatisbecausesheisself-willed，andmyopinionsmoregenerallycoincidewithherownthanyourmamma’s。Butwhatthen，Milicent？’
`Well，sinceyouhavesomuchinfluencewithher，Iwishyouwouldseriouslyimpressituponher，never，onanyaccount，orforanybody’spersuasion，tomarryforthesakeofmoney，orrank，orestablishment，oranyearthlything，buttrueaffectionandwell-groundedesteem。’
`Thereisnonecessityforthat，’saidI：`forwehavehadsomediscourseonthatsubjectalready，andIassureyouherideasofloveandmatrimonyareasromanticasanyonecoulddesire。’
`Butromanticnotionswillnotdo：Iwanthertohavetruenotions。’
`Veryright，butinmyjudgment，whattheworldstigmatizesasromantic，isoftenmorenearlyalliedtothetruththaniscommonlysupposed；
for，ifthegenerousideasofyoutharetoooftenovercloudedbythesordidviewsofafter-life，thatscarcelyprovesthemtobefalse。’
`Well，butifyouthinkherideasarewhattheyoughttobe，strengthenthem，willyou？andconfirmthem，asfarasyoucan；forIhadromanticnotionsonce，and——Idon’tmeantosaythatIregretmylot，forIamquitesureIdon’t——but——’
`Iunderstandyou，’saidI；`youarecontentedforyourself，butyouwouldnothaveyoursistertosufferthesameasyou。
`No——orworse。ShemighthavefarworsetosufferthanI——forIamreallycontented，Helen，thoughyoumayn’tthinkit：IspeakthesolemntruthinsayingthatIwouldnotexchangemyhusbandforanymanonearth，ifImightdoitbythepluckingofthisleaf。’
`Well，Ibelieveyou：nowthatyouhavehim，youwouldnotexchangehimforanother；butthenyouwouldgladlyexchangesomeofhisqualitiesforthoseofbettermen。
`Yes；justasIwouldgladlyexchangesomeofmyownqualitiesforthoseofbetterwomen；forneitherhenorIareperfect，andIdesirehisimprovementasearnestlyasmyown。Andhewillimprove——don’tyouthinksoHelen？——he’sonlysixandtwentyyet。
`Hemay，’Ianswered。
`Hewill——heWILL！’repeatedshe。
`Excusethefaintnessofmyacquiescence，Milicent；Iwouldnotdiscourageyourhopesfortheworld，butminehavebeensooftendisappointed，thatIambecomeascoldanddoubtfulinmyexpectationsastheflattestofoctogenarians。’
`Andyetyoudohope，still——evenforMr。Huntingdon？’
`Ido，Iconfess——“even“forhim；foritseemsasiflifeandhopemustceasetogether。Andishesomuchworse，Milicent，thanMr。Hattersley？’
`Well，togiveyoumycandidopinion，Ithinkthereisnocomparisonbetweenthem。Butyoumustn’tbeoffended，Helen，foryouknowIalwaysspeakmymind；andyoumayspeakyourstoo；Ishan’tcare。’
`Iamnotoffended，love；andmyopinionisthatiftherebeacomparisonmadebetweenthetwo，thedifference，forthemostpart，iscertainlyinHattersley’sfavour。’
Milicent’sownhearttoldherhowmuchitcostmetomakethisacknowledgement；and，withachildlikeimpulse，sheexpressedhersympathybysuddenlykissingmycheek，withoutawordofreply，andthenturningquicklyawaycaughtupherbaby，andhidherfaceinitsfrock。Howodditisthatwesooftenweepforeachother’sdistresses，whenweshednotatearforourown！Herhearthadbeenfullenoughofherownsorrows，butitoverflowedattheideaofmine；——andItoo，shedtearsatthesightofhersympatheticemotion，thoughIhadnotweptformyselfformanyaweek。
ButMilicent’ssatisfactioninherchoice，isnotentirelyfeigned：
shereallylovesherhusband；anditistootruethathelosesnothingbycomparisonwithmine。Eitherheislessunbridledinhisexcesses，orowingtohisstronger，hardierframe，theyproduceamuchlessdeleteriouseffectuponhim；forheneverreduceshimselftoastateinanydegreeborderingonimbecility，andwithhimtheworsteffectofanight’sdebauchisaslightincreaseofirascibility，oritmaybeaseasonofsullenferocityonthefollowingmorning：thereisnothingofthatlost，depressingappearance——thatpeevish，ignoblefretfulness，thatwearsoneoutwithveryshameforthetransgressor。Butthen，itwasnotformerlysowithArthur：hecanbearlessnowthanhecouldatHattersley’sage；andifthelatterdoesnotreform，hispowersofendurancemaybeequallyimpairedwhenhehastriedthemaslong。Hehasfiveyearstheadvantageofhisfriend，andhisviceshavenotmasteredhimyet：hehasnotfoldedthemtohimandmadethemapartofhimself。Theyseemtositlooseuponhim，likeacloakthathecouldthrowasideatanymomentifhewould——buthowlongwillthatoptionbelefthim？——Thoughacreatureofpassionandsense，regardlessofthedutiesandthehigherprivilegesofintelligentbeings，heisnovoluptuary：
heprefersthemoreactiveandinvigoratinganimalenjoyments，tothoseofamorerelaxing，enervatingkind。Hedoesnotmakeascienceofthegratificationofhisappetiteseitherinthepleasuresofthetableoranythingelse；heeatsheartilywhatissetbeforehim，withoutdemeaninghimselfbyanyofthatabandonmenttothepalateandtheeye——thatunbecomingparticularityinapprovalordisapprovalwhichitissohatefultowitnessinthosewewouldesteem。Arthur，Ifear，wouldgivehimselfuptoluxuryasthechiefgood，andmightultimatelyplungeintothegrossestexcesses，butforthefearofirremediablybluntinghisappetites，anddestroyinghispowersoffurtherenjoyment。ForHattersley，gracelessruffianasheis，Ibelievethereismorereasonablegroundofhope；and——farbeitfrommetoblamepoorMilicentforhisdelinquencies——butIdothinkthatifshehadthecourageorthewilltospeakhermindaboutthem，andmaintainherpointunflinchingly，therewouldbemorechanceofhisreclamation，andhewouldbelikelytotreatherbetter，andlovehermore，intheend。
Iampartlyledtothinksobywhathesaidtomehimself，notmanydaysago——Ipurposetogiveheralittleadviceonthesubjectsometime；butstill，Ihesitatefromtheconsciousnessthatherideasanddispositionarebothagainstit，andifmycounselsfailedtodogood，theywoulddoharmbymakinghermoreunhappy。
Itwasonerainydaylastweek：mostofthecompanywerekillingtimeinthebilliard-room，butMilicentandIwerewithlittleArthurandHeleninthelibrary，andbetweenourbooks，ourchildren，andeachother，weexpectedtomakeoutaveryagreeablemorning。Wehadnotbeenthussecludedabovetwohours，however，whenMr。Hattersleycameinattracted，Isuppose，bythevoiceofhischildashewascrossingthehall，forheisprodigiouslyfondofher，andsheofhim。
Hewasredolentofthestables，wherehehadbeenregalinghimselfwiththecompanyofhisfellow-creatures，thehorses，eversincebreakfast。
Butthatwasnomattertomylittlenamesake：assoonasthecolossalpersonofherfatherdarkenedthedoor，sheutteredashrillscreamofdelight，and，quittinghermother’sside，rancrowingtowardshim——balancinghercoursewithout-stretchedarms，——and，embracinghisknee，threwbackherheadandlaughedinhisface。Hemightwelllooksmilinglydownuponthosesmall，fairfeaturesradiantwithinnocentmirth，thoseclear，blue，shiningeyes，andthatsoftflaxenhaircastbackuponthelittleivoryneckandshoulders。Didhenotthinkhowunworthyhewasofsuchapossession？I
fearnosuchideacrossedhismind。Hecaughtherup，andtherefollowedsomeminutesofveryroughplay，duringwhichitisdifficulttosaywhetherthefatherorthedaughterlaughedandshoutedtheloudest。Atlength，however，theboisterouspastimeterminated——suddenly，asmightbeexpected：
thelittleonewashurtandbegantocry；anditsungentleplayfellowtosseditintoitsmother’slap，biddingher`makeallstraight。’Ashappytoreturntothatgentlecomforterasithadbeentoleaveher，thechildnestledinherarmsandhusheditscriesinamoment；and，sinkingitslittlewearyheadonherbosom，soondroppedasleep。
Meantime，Mr。Hattersleystrodeuptothefire，and，interposinghisheightandbreadthbetweenusandit，stood，witharmsakimbo，expandinghischest，andgazingroundhimasifthehouseandallitsappurtenancesandcontentswerehisownundisputedpossessions。
`Deucedbadweatherthis！’hebegan。`There’llbenoshootingto-day，Iguess。’Then，suddenlyliftinguphisvoice，heregaleduswithafewbarsofarollickingsong，whichabruptlyceasing，hefinishedthetunewithawhistle，andthencontinued，——`IsayMrs。Huntingdon，whatafinestudyourhusbandhas！——notlargebutgood——I’vebeenlookingatthemabitthismorning；anduponmyword，BlackBess，andGreyTom，andthatyoungNimrodarethefinestanimalsI’veseenformanyaday！’Thenfollowedaparticulardiscussionoftheirvariousmerits，succeededbyasketchofthegreatthingsheintendedtodointhehorse-jockeylinewhenhisoldgovernorthoughtpropertoquitthestage——`NotthatIwishhimtoclosehisaccounts，addedhe；`theoldTrojaniswelcometokeephisbooksopenaslongashepleasesforme。’
`Ihopeso，indeed，Mr。Hattersley！’