`Well，Iamcometohearyourexplanation。’
`ItoldyouIwouldnotgiveit，’saidshe。`Isaidyouwereunworthyofmyconfidence。’
`Oh，verywell，’repliedI，movingtothedoor。
`Stayamoment，’saidshe。`ThisisthelasttimeIshallseeyou：don’tgojustyet。’
Iremained，awaitingherfurthercommands。
Tellme，’resumedshe，`onwhatgroundsyoubelievethesethingsagainstme；whotoldyou？andwhatdidtheysay？’
Ipausedamoment。Shemetmyeyeasunflinchinglyasifherbosomhadbeensteeledwithconsciousinnocence。Shewasresolvedtoknowtheworst，anddeterminedtodareittoo。`Icancrushthatboldspirit，’thoughtI。ButwhileIsecretlyexultedinmypower，Ifeltdisposedtodallywithmyvictimlikeacat。ShowingherthebookthatIstillheldinmyhand，andpointingtothenameontheflyleaf，butfixingmyeyeuponherface，Iasked，——
`Doyouknowthatgentleman？’
`OfcourseIdo，’repliedshe；andasuddenflushsuffusedherfeatures——whetherofshameorangerIcouldnottell：itratherresembledthelatter。`Whatnext，sir？’
`Howlongisitsinceyousawhim？’
`Whogaveyoutherighttocatechiseme，onthisoranyothersubject？’
`Oh，noone！——it’squiteatyouroptionwhethertoanswerornot——Andnow，letmeask——haveyouheardwhathaslatelybefallenthisfriendofyours？——because，ifyouhavenot——’
`Iwillnotbeinsulted，MrMarkham！’criedshe，almostinfuriatedatmymanner——`Soyouhadbetterleavethehouseatonce，ifyoucameonlyforthat。’
`Ididnotcometoinsultyou：Icametohearyourexplanation。’
`AndItellyouIwon’tgiveit！’retortedshe，pacingtheroominastateofstrongexcitement，withherhandsclaspedtightlytogether，breathingshort，andflashingfiresofindignationfromhereyes。`Iwillnotcondescendtoexplainmyselftoonethatcanmakeajestofsuchhorriblesuspicions，andbesoeasilyledtoentertainthem。’
`Idonotmakeajestofthem，MrsGraham，’returnedI，droppingatoncemytoneoftauntingsarcasm。’IheartilywishIcouldfindthemajestingmatter！Andastobeingeasilyledtosuspect，Godonlyknowswhatablind，incredulousfoolIhavehithertobeen，perseveringlyshuttingmyeyesandstoppingmyearsagainsteverythingthatthreatenedtoshakemyconfidenceinyou，tillproofitselfconfoundedmyinfatuation！’
`Whatproof，sir？’
`Well，I’lltellyou。YourememberthateveningwhenIwasherelast？’
`Ido。’
`Eventhen，youdroppedsomehintsthatmighthaveopenedtheeyesofawiserman；buttheyhadnosucheffectuponme：Iwentontrustingandbelieving，hopingagainsthope，andadoringwhereIcouldnotcomprehend——Itsohappened，however，thatafterIhadleftyou，Iturnedback——drawnbypuredepthofsympathy，andardourofaffection——notdaringtointrudemypresenceopenlyuponyou，butunabletoresistthetemptationofcatchingoneglimpsethroughthewindow，justtoseehowyouwere；forIhadleftyouapparentlyingreataffliction，andIpartlyblamedmyownwantofforbearanceanddiscretionasthecauseofit。IfIdidwrong，lovealonewasmyincentive，andthepunishmentwassevereenough；foritwasjustasIhadreachedthattree，thatyoucameoutintothegardenwithyourfriend。Notchoosingtoshowmyself，underthecircumstances，Istoodstill，intheshadow，tillyouhadbothpassedby。’
`Andhowmuchofourconversationdidyouhear？’
`Iheardquiteenough，Helen。AnditwaswellformethatIdidhearit；fornothinglesscouldhavecuredmyinfatuation。Ialwayssaidandthought，thatIwouldneverbelieveawordagainstyou，unlessIhearditfromyourownlips。AllthehintsandaffirmationsofothersItreatedasmalignant，baselessslanders；yourownself-accusationsIbelievedtobeoverstrained；andallthatseemedunaccountableinyourposition，I
trustedthatyoucouldaccountforifyouchose。’
MrsGrahamhaddiscountinuedherwalk。Sheleantagainstoneendofthechimney-piece，oppositethatnearwhichIwasstanding，withherchinrestingonherclosedhand，hereyes——nolongerburningwithanger，butgleamingwithrestlessexcitement——sometimesglancingatmewhileI
spoke，thencoursingtheoppositewall，orfixeduponthecarpet。
`Youshouldhavecometome，afterall，’saidshe，`andheardwhatIhadtosayinmyownjustification。Itwasungenerousandwrongtowithdrawyourselfsosecretlyandsuddenly，immediatelyaftersuchardentprotestationsofattachment，withouteverassigningareasonforthechange。
Youshouldhavetoldmeall——nomatterhowbitterly——Itwouldhavebeenbetterthanthissilence。’
`TowhatendshouldIhavedoneso？——Youcouldnothaveenlightenedmefarther，onthesubjectwhichaloneconcernedme；norcouldyouhavemademediscredittheevidenceofmysenses。Idesiredourintimacytobediscontinuedatonce，asyouyourselfhadacknowledgedwouldprobablybethecaseifIknewall；butIdidnotwishtoupbraidyou，——thoughasyoualsoacknowledgedyouhaddeeplywrongedme——Yes；youhavedonemeaninjuryyoucanneverrepair——oranyothereither——youhaveblightedthefreshnessandpromiseofyouth，andmademylifeawilderness！Imightliveahundredyears，butIcouldneverrecoverfromtheeffectsofthiswitheringblow——andneverforgetit！Hereafter——Yousmile，MrsGraham，’
saidI，suddenlystoppingshort，checkedinmypassionatedeclamationbyunutterablefeelingstobeholdheractuallysmilingatthepictureoftheruinshehadwrought。
`DidI？’repliedshe，lookingseriouslyup，`Iwasnotawareofit。IfIdid，itwasnotforpleasureatthethoughtofthehadIhaddoneyou——HeavenknowsIhavehadtormentenoughatthebarepossibilityofthat！——`itwasforjoytofindthatyouhadsomedepthofsoulandfeelingafterall，andtohopethatIhadnotbeenutterlymistakeninyourworth。
Butsmilesandtearsaresoalikewithme；theyareneitherofthemconfinedtoanyparticularfeelings：IoftencrywhenIamhappy，andsmilewhenIamsad。’
Shelookedatmeagain，andseemedtoexpectareply；butIcontinuedsilent。
`Wouldyoubeveryglad，’resumedshe，`tofindthatyouweremistakeninyourconclusions？’
`Howcanyouaskit，Helen？’
`Idon’tsayIcanclearmyselfaltogether，’saidshe，speakinglowandfast，whileherheartbeatvisiblyandherbosomheavedwithexcitement，——`butwouldyoubegladtodiscoverIwasbetterthanyouthinkme？’
`Anythingthatcould，intheleastdegree，tendtorestoremyformeropinionofyou，toexcusetheregardIstillfeelforyou，andalleviatethepangsofunutterableregretthataccompanyit，wouldbeonlytoogladly——tooeagerlyreceived！’
Hercheeksbadandherwholeframetrembled，now，withexcessofagitation。Shedidnotspeak，butflewtoherdesk，andmatchingthencewhatseemedathickalbumormanuscriptvolume，hastilytoreawayafewleavesfromtheend，andthrusttherestintomyhand，saying，`Youneedn’treaditall；buttakeithomewithyou，’——andhurriedfromtheroofButwhenIhadleftthehouse，andwasproceedingdownthewalk，sheopenedthewindowandcalledmeback。Itwasonlytosay，——
`Bringitbackwhenyouhavereadit；anddon’tbreatheawordofwhatittellsyoutoanylivingbeing——Itrusttoyourhonour。’
BeforeIcouldanswer，shehadclosedthecasementandturnedaway。Isawhercastherselfbackintheoldoakchair，andcoverherfacewithherhands。Herfeelingshadbeenwroughttoapitchthatrendereditnecessarytoseekreliefintears。
Pantingwitheagerness，andstrugglingtosuppressmyhopes，I
hurriedhome，andrushedupstairstomyroom，——havingfirstprovidedmyselfwithacandle，thoughitwasscarcelytwilightyet，——then，shutandboltedthedoor，determinedtotoleratenointerruption，andsittingdownbeforethetable，openedoutmyprizeanddeliveredmyselfuptoitsperusal——first，hastilyturningovertheleavesandsnatchingasentencehemandthere，andthen，settingmyselfsteadilytoreaditthrough。
Ihaveitnowbeforeme；andthoughyoucouldnot，ofcourse，peruseitwithhalftheinterestthatIdid，Iknowyouwouldnotbesatisfiedwithanabbreviationofitscontents，andyoushallhavethe`whole，save，perhaps，afewpassageshereandthereofmerelytemporalinteresttothewriter，orsuchaswouldservetoencumberthestoryratherthanelucidateit，Itbeginssomewhatabruptly，thus——butwewillreserveitscommencementforanotherchapter，andcallit，——
TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter16CHAPTER16TheWarningsofExperienceJune1st，1821——WehavejustreturnedtoStaningley——thatis，wereturnedsomedaysago，andIamnotyetsettled，andfeelasifInevershouldbe。Welefttownsoonerthanwasintended，inconsequenceofmyuncle’sindisposition——Iwonderwhatwouldhavebeentheresultifwehadstayedthefulltime。Iamquiteashamedofmynew-sprungdistasteforcountrylife。Allmyformeroccupationsseemsotediousanddull，myformeramusementssoinsipidandunprofitable。Icannotenjoymymusic，becausethereisnoonetohearit。Icannotenjoymywalks，becausethereisnoonetomeet。Icannotenjoymybooks，becausetheyhavenotpowertoarrestmyattention：myheadissohauntedwiththerecollectionsofthelastfewweeksthatIcannotattendtothem。Mydrawingsuitsmebest，forIcandrawandthinkatthesametime；andifmyproductionscannotnowbeseenbyanyonebutmyselfandthosewhodonotcareaboutthem，theypossiblymaybe，hereafter。Butthen，thereisonefaceIamalwaystryingtopaintortosketch，andalwayswithoutsuccess；andthatvexesme。Asfortheownerofthatface，Icannotgethimoutofmymind——and，indeed，Inevertry。Iwonderwhetherheeverthinksofme；andIwonderwhetherIshalleverseehimagain。Andthenmightfollowatrainofotherwonderments——questionsfortimeandfatetoanswer，concludingwith：——supposingalltherestbeansweredintheaffirmative，IwonderwhetherIshalleverrepentit——asmyauntwouldtellmeIshould，ifsheknewwhatIwasthinkingabout。
HowdistinctlyIrememberourconversationthateveningbeforeourdeparturefortown，whenweweresittingtogetheroverthefire，myunclehavinggonetobedwithaslightattackofthegout。
`Helen，’saidshe，afterathoughtfulsilence，`doyoueverthinkaboutmarriage？’
`Yes，aunt，often。’
`Anddoyouevercontemplatethepossibilityofbeingmarriedyourself，orengaged，beforetheseasonisover？’
`Sometimes；butIdon’tthinkitatalllikelythatIevershall。’`Whyso？’
`BecauseIimaginetheremustbeonlyavery，veryfewmenintheworld，thatIshouldliketomarry；andofthosefew，itistentooneImayneverbeacquaintedwithone；orifIshould，itistwentytoonehemaynothappentobesingle，ortotakeafancytome。’
`Thatisnoargumentatall。Itmaybeverytrue——andIhopeistrue，thatthereareveryfewmenwhomyouwouldchoosetomarry，ofyourself——Itisnot，indeed，tobesupposedthatyouwouldwishtomarryanyone，tillyouwereasked：agirl’saffectionsshouldneverbewonunsought。
Butwhentheyaresought——whenthecitadeloftheheartisfairlybesieged，itisapttosurrendersoonerthantheownerisawareof，andoftenagainstherbetterjudgment，andinoppositiontoallherpreconceivedideasofwhatshecouldhaveloved，unlessshebeextremelycarefulanddiscreet。
NowIwanttowarnyou，Helen，ofthesethings，andtoexhortyoutobewatchfulandcircumspectfromtheverycommencementofyourcareer，andnottosufferyourhearttobestolenfromyoubythefirstfoolishorunprincipledpersonthatcovetsthepossessionofit——Youknow，mydear，youareonlyjusteighteen；thereisplentyoftimebeforeyou，andneitheryourunclenorIareinanyhurrytogetyouoffourhands；and，Imayventuretosay，therewillbenolackofsuitors；foryoucanboastagoodfamily，aprettyconsiderablefortuneandexpectations，and，Imayaswelltellyoulikewise——forifIdon’totherswill——thatyouhaveafairshareofbeauty，besides——andIhopeyoumayneverhavecausetoregretit！——’
`Ihopenot，aunt；butwhyshould，youfearit？’
`Because，mydear，beautyisthatqualitywhich，nexttomoney，isgenerallythemostattractivetotheworstkindsofmen；and，therefore，itislikelytoentailagreatdealoftroubleonthepossessor。’
`Haveyoubeentroubledinthatway，aunt？’
`No，Helen，’saidshe，withreproachfulgravity，`butIknowmanythathave；andsome，throughcarelessness，havebeenthewretchedvictimsofdeceit；andsome，throughweakness，havefallenintosnaresandtemptationsterribletorelate’