第10章
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  `Letmefirstestablishmypositionasafriend,’thoughtI,——`thepatronandplayfellowofherson,thesober,solid,plain-dealingfriendofherself,andthen,whenIhavemademyselffairlynecessarytohercomfortandenjoymentinlifeasIbelieveIcan,we’llseewhatnextmaybeeffected。’

  Sowetalkedaboutpainting,poetry,andmusic,theology,geology,andphilosophy:onceortwiceIlentherabook,andonceshelentmeoneinreturn:ImetherinherwalksasoftenasIcould;IcametoherhouseasoftenasIdared。MyfirstpretextforinvadingthesanctumwastobringArthuralittlewaddlingpuppyofwhichSanchowasthefather,andwhichdelightedthechildbeyondexpression,and,consequently,couldnotfailtopleasehismamma。Mysecondwastobringhimabook,which,knowinghismother’sparticularity,Ihadcarefullyselected,andwhichIsubmittedforherapprobationbeforepresentingittohim。Then,Ibroughthersomeplantsforhergarden,inmysister’sname——havingpreviouslypersuadedRosetosendthem。EachofthesetimesIenquiredafterthepictureshewaspaintingfromthesketchtakenonthecliff,andwasadmittedintothestudio,andaskedmyopinionoradvicerespectingitsprogress。

  Mylastvisithadbeentoreturnthebookshehadlentme;andthenitwas,that,incasuallydiscussingthepoetryofSirWalterScott,shehadexpressedawishtosee`Marmion,’andIhadconceivedthepresumptuousideaofmakingherapresentofit,and,onmyreturnhome,instantlysentforthesmartlittlevolume1hadthismorningreceived。Butanapologyforinvadingthehermitagewasstillnecessary;soIhadfurnishedmyselfwithabluemoroccocollarforArthur’slittledog;andthatbeinggivenandreceived,withmuchmorejoyandgratitude,onthepartofthereceiver,thantheworthofthegift,ortheselfishmotiveofthegiverdeserved,IventuredtoaskMrsGrahamforonemorelookatthepicture,ifitwasstillthere。

  `Ohyes!comein,’saidsheforIhadmettheminthegarden。

  `Itisfinishedandframed,allreadyforsendingaway;butgivemeyourlastopinion,and,ifyoucansuggestanyfurtherimprovement,itshallbe——dulyconsidered,atleast。’

  Thepicturewasstrikinglybeautiful:itwastheverysceneitself,transferredasifbymagictothecanvas;butIexpressedmyapprobationinguardedterms,andfewwords,forfearofdispleasingher。She,however,attentivelywatchedmylooks,andherartist’spridewasgratified,nodoubt,toreadmyheart-feltadmirationinmyeyes。But,whileIgazed,Ithoughtuponthebook,andwonderedhowitwastobepresented。Myheartfailedme;butIdeterminednottobesuchafoolastocomeawaywithouthavingmadetheattempt。Itwasuselesswaitingforanopportunity,anduselesstryingtoconcoctaspeechfortheoccasionThemoreplainlyandnaturallythethingwasdone,thebetter,Ithought;soIjustlookedoutofthewindowtoscrewupmycourage,andthenpulledoutthebook,turnedround,andputitintoherhand,withthisshortexplanation。

  `Youwerewishingtosee`Marmion’,MrsGraham;andhereitis,ifyouwillbesokindastotakeit。’

  Amomentaryflushsuffusedherface——perhapsablushofsympatheticshameforsuchanawkwardstyleofpresentation:shegravelyexaminedthevolumeonbothsides;thensilentlyturnedovertheleaves,knittingherbrowsthewhileinseriouscogitation;thenclosedthebook,and,turningfromittome,quietlyaskedthepriceofit——Ifeltthehotbloodrushtomyface。

  `I’msorrytooffendyou,MrMarkham,’saidshe,`butunlessI

  payforthebook,Icannottakeit。’Andshelaiditonthetable。

  `Whycannotyou?’

  `Because——`Shepaused,andlookedatthecarpet。

  `Whycannotyou?’Irepeated,withadegreeofirascibilitythatrousedhertolifthereyes,andlookmesteadilyintheface。

  `BecauseIdon’tliketoputmyselfunderobligationsthatIcanneverrepay——Iamobligedtoyou,already,foryourkindnesstomyson;buthisgratefulaffection,andyourowngoodfeelings,mustrewardyouforthat。’

  `Nonsense!’ejaculatedI。

  Sheturnedhereyesonmeagain,withalookofquiet,gravesurprise,thathadtheeffectofarebuke,whetherintendedforsuchornot。

  `Thenyouwon’ttakethebook?’Iasked,moremildlythanIhadyetspoken。

  `Iwillgladlytakeit,ifyouwillletmepayforit。’

  Itoldhertheexactprice,andthecostofthecarnagebesides,inascalmatoneasICouldcommand——forinfact,Iwasreadytoweepwithdisappointmentandvexation。

  Sheproducedherpurse,andcoollycountedoutthemoney,buthesitatedtoputitintomyhand。Attentivelyregardingme,inatoneofsoothingsoftnesssheobserved,——

  `Youthinkyourselfinsulted,MrMarkham——IwishIcouldmakeyouunderstandthat——thatI——`’

  `Idounderstandyou,perfectly,’Isaid。`Youthinkthatifyouweretoacceptthattriflefrommenow,Ishouldpresumeuponithereafter;

  butyouaremistaken:——ifyouwillonlyobligemebytakingit,believeme,Ishallbuildnohopesuponit,andconsiderthisnoprecedentforfuturefavours:——anditisnonsensetotalkaboutputtingyourselfunderobligationstomewhenyoumustknowthatinsuchacasetheobligationisentirelyonmyside,——thefavouronyours。

  `Wellthen,I’lltakeyouatyourword,’sheanswered,withamostangelicsmile,returningtheodiousmoneytoherpurse——`butremember!’

  `Iwillremember——whatIhavesaid;——butdonotyoupunishmypresumptionbywithdrawingyourfriendshipentirelyfromme,——orexpectmetoatoneforitbybeingmoredistantthanbefore,’saidI,extendingmyhandtotakeleave,forIwastoomuchexcitedtoremain。

  `Wellthen!letusbeaswewere,’repliedshe,franklyplacingherhandinmine;andwhileIhelditthere,Ihadmuchdifficultytorefrainfrompressingittomylips;——butthatwouldbesuicidalmadness:Ihadbeenboldenoughalready,andthisprematureofferinghadwellnighgiventhedeath-blowtomyhopes。

  Itwaswithanagitated,burningheartandbrainthatIhurriedhomewards,regardlessofthatscorchingnoondaysun——forgetfulofeverythingbutherIhadjustleft——regrettingnothingbutherimpenetrability,andmyownprecipitancyandwantoftact——fearingnothingbutherhatefulresolution,andmyinabilitytoovercomeit——hopingnothing——buthalt,——IwillnotboreyouwithmyconflIctinghopesandfears——myseriouscogitationsandresolves。

  TheTenantofWildfellHall:Chapter9CHAPTER9ASnakeintheGrassTHOUGHmyaffectionsmightnowbesaidtobefairlyweanedfromElizaMillward,Ididnotyetentirelyrelinquishmyvisitstothevicarage,becauseI

  wanted,asitwere,toletherdowneasy;withoutraisingmuchsorrow,orincurringmuchresentment,——ormakingmyselfthetalkoftheparish;

  andbesides,ifIhadwhollykeptaway,thevicar,wholookeduponmyvisitsaspaidchiefly,ifnotentirelytohimself,wouldhavefelthimselfdecidedlyaffrontedbytheneglect。ButwhenIcalledtherethedayaftermyinterviewwithMrsGraham,hehappenedtobefromhome——acircumstancebynomeanssoagreeabletomenowasithadbeenonformeroccasions。MissMillwardwasthere,itistrue,butshe,ofcourse,wouldbelittlebetterthananonentity。However,Iresolvedtomakemyvisitashortone,andtotalktoElizainabrotherly,friendlysortofway,suchasourlongacquaintancemightwarrantmeinassuming,andwhich,Ithought,couldneithergiveoffencenorservetoencouragefalsehopes。

  ItwasnevermycustomtotalkaboutMrsGrahameithertoheroranyoneelse;butIhadnotbeenseatedthreeminutes,beforeshebroughtthatladyontothecarpetherself,inaratherremarkablemanner。

  `Oh,MrMarkham!’saidshe,withashockedexpressionandvoicesubduedalmosttoawhisper——`whatdoyouthinkoftheseshockingreportsaboutMrsGraham?——canyouencourageustodisbelievethem?’

  `Whatreports?’

  `Ah,now!youknow!’sheslylysmiledandshookherhead。

  `Iknownothingaboutthem——Whatintheworlddoyoumean,Eliza?’

  `Oh,don’taskme!——Ican’texplainit。’Shetookupthecambrichandkerchiefwhichshehadbeenbeautifyingwithadeeplaceborder,andbegantobeverybusy。

  `Whatisit,MissMillward?whatdoesshemean?’saidI,appealingtohersister,whoseemedtobeabsorbedinthehemmingofalarge,coarsesheet。

  `Idon’tknow,’repliedshe。’——`Someidleslandersomebodyhasbeeninventing,Isuppose。IneverheardittillElizatoldme,theotherday,——butifalltheparishdinneditinmyears,Ishouldn’tbelieveawordofit——IknowMrsGrahamtoowell!’

  `Quiteright,MissMillward!——andsodoI——whateveritmaybe。’

  `Well!’observedEliza,withagentlesigh——`It’swelltohavesuchacomfortableassuranceregardingtheworthofthosewelove——Ionlywishyoumaynotfindyourconfidencemisplaced。’

  Andsheraisedherface,andgavemesuchalookofsorrowfultendernessasmighthavemeltedmyheart,butwithinthoseeyestherelurkedasomethingthatIdidnotlike;andIwonderedhowIevercouldhaveadmiredthem:hersister’shonestfaceandsmallgreyopticsappearedfarmoreagreeable;——butIwasoutoftemperwithEliza,atthatmoment,forherinsinuationsagainstMrsGraham——whichwerefalse,Iwascertain,whethersheknewitornot。

  Isaidnothingmoreonthesubject,however,atthetime,andbutlittleonanyother;for,findingIcouldnotwellrecovermyequanimity,Ipresentlyroseandtookleave,excusingmy-selfunderthepleaofbusinessatthefarm;——andtothefarmIwent——nottroublingmymindonewhitaboutthepossibletruthofthesemysteriousreports,butonlywonderingwhattheywere,bywhomoriginated,andonwhatfoundationsraised,——andhowtheycouldthemosteffectuallybesilencedordisproved。

  Afewdaysafterthis,wehadanotherofourquietlittleparties,towhichtheusualcompanyoffriendsandneighbourshadbeeninvited,andMrsGrahamamongthenumber。Shecouldnotnowabsentherselfunderthepleaofdarkeveningsorinclementweather,and,greatlytomyrelief,shecame。WithoutherIshouldhavefoundthewholeaffairanintolerablebore;butthemomentofherarrivalbroughtnewlifetothehouse;andthoughImustnotneglecttheotherguestsforher,orexpecttoengrossmuchofherattentionandconversationtomyselfalone,Ianticipatedaneveningofnocommonenjoyment。

  MrLawrencecametoo。Hedidnotarrivetillsometimeaftertherestwereassembled。IwascurioustoseehowhewouldcomporthimselftoMrsGraham。Aslightbowwasallthatpassedbetweenthemonhisentrance;

  andhavingpolitelygreetedtheothermembersofthecompany,heseatedhimselfquitealooffromtheyoungwidow,betweenmymotherandRose。

  `Didyoueverseesuchart!’whisperedEliza,whowasmynear-

  estneighbour。`Wouldyounotsaytheywereperfectstrangers?’

  `Almost;——butwhatthen?’

  `Whatthen!——whyyoucan’tpretendtobeignorant?’

  `Ignorantofwhat?’demandedI,sosharplythatshestartedandreplied——

  `Oh,hush!don’tspeaksoloud。’

  `Well,tellmethen,’Ianswered,inalowertone;`whatisityoumean?Ihateenigmas。’

  `Well,youknow,Idon’tvouchforthetruthofit——indeed,farfromit——buthaven’tyouheard——`

  `I’veheardnothing,exceptfromyou。’

  `Youmustbewilfullydeafthen;foranyonewilltellyouthat——butIshallonlyangeryoubyrepeatingit,Isee;soIhadbetterholdmytongue。’

  Sheclosedherlipsandfoldedherhandsbeforeherwithanairofinjuredmeekness。

  `Ifyouhadwishednottoangerme,youshouldhaveheldyourtonguefromthebeginning;orelsespokenoutplainlyandhonestlyallyouhadtosay。’

  Sheturnedasideherface,pulledoutherhandkerchief,rose,andwenttothewindow,whereshestoodforsometime,evidentlydissolvedintears。Iwasastounded,provoked,ashamed——notsomuchofmyharshnessasforherchildishweakness。However,nooneseemedtonoticeher,andshortlyafter,weweresummonedtothetea-table;inthosepartsitwascustomarytosittothetableattea-time,onalloccasions,andmakeamealofit;forwedinedearly。Ontakingmyseat,IhadRoseononesideofme,andanemptychairontheother。

  `MayIsitbyyou?’saidasoftvoiceatmyelbow。

  `Ifyoulike,’wasthereply;andElizaslippedintothevacantchair;thenlookingupinmyfacewithahalfsad,halfplayfulsmile,shewhispered——

  `You’resostern,Gilbert。’

  Ihandeddownherteawithaslightlycontemptuoussmile,andsaidnothing,forIhadnothingtosay。

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