Aloud。
Ias-sureyouyoucan’tdoanythingforme，Minnie，andImustreallysettledowntothisWhere’smypouch？
MRSGCrossingtowriting-table。Hereyouare，BearWhatamessyoukeepyourtablein！
CAPTGDon’ttouchitThere’samethodinmymadness，thoughyoumightn’tthinkofit。
MRSGAttable。Iwanttolook-Doyoukeepaccounts，Pip？
CAPTGBendingoversaddlery。OfasortAreyourummagingamongtheTrooppapers？Becareful。
MRsGWhy？Isha’n’tdisturbanythingGoodgracious！Ihadnoideathatyouhadanythingtodowithsomanysickhorses。
CAPTG’WishIhadn’t，buttheyinsistonfallingsickMinnie，if1
wereyouIreallyshouldnotinvestigatethosepapersYoumaycomeacrosssomethingthatyouwon’tlike。
MRSGWhywillyoualwaystreatmelikeachild？IknowI’mnotdisplacingthehorridthings。
CAPTGResignedly。Verywell，thenDon’tblamemeifanythinghappensPlaywiththetableandletmegoonwiththesaddlerySlippinghandintotrousers-pocket。Oh，thedeuce！
MRSGHerbacktoG。What’sthatfor？
CAPTGNothingAside。There’snotmuchinit，butIwishI’dtornitup。
MRSGTurningovercontentsoftable。Iknowyou’llhatemeforthis；butIdowanttoseewhatyourworkislikeApause。
Pip，whatare“farcybuds“？
CAPTGHab！Wouldyoureallyliketoknow？Theyaren’tprettythings。
MRSGThisJournalofVeterinarySciencesaystheyareof“absorbinginterest。”Tellme。
CAPTGAside。Itmayturnherattention。
Givesalonganddesignedlyloathsomeaccountofglandersandfarcy。
MRSGOh，that’senoughDon’tgoon！
CAPTGButyouwantedtoknow-Thenthesethingssuppurateandmatterateandspread-
MRSGPin，you’remakingmesick！You’reahorrid，disgustingschoolboy。
CAPTGOnhiskneesamongthebridles。Youaskedtobetold。
It’snotmyfaultifyouworrymeintotalkingabouthorrors。
MasGWhydidn’tyousay-No？
CAPTGGoodHeavens，child！Haveyoucomeinheresimplytobullyme？
MasGIbullyyou？HowcouldI！You’resostrongHysterically。
StrongenoughtopickmeupandputmeoutsidethedoorandleavemetheretocryAren’tyou？
CAPTGItseemstomethatyou’reanirrationallittlebabyAreyouquitewell？
MRSGDoIlookill？ReturningtotableWhoisyourladyfriendwiththebiggreyenvelopeandthefatmonogramoutside？
CAPTGAside。Thenitwasn’tlockedup，confoundit。
Aloud。
“Godmadeher，thereforeletherpassforawoman。”Yourememberwhatfarcybudsarelike？
MasGShowingenvelope。Thishasnothingtodowiththem。
I’mgoingtoopenitMayI？
CAPTGCertainly，ifyouwanttoI’dsooneryoudidn’tthoughI
don’tasktolookatyourletterstotheDeer-courtgirl。
MasGYou’dbetternot，Sir！Takesletterfromenvelope。Now，mayIlook？Ifyousayno，Ishallcry。
CAPTGYou’venevercriedinmyknowledgeofyou，andIdon’tbelieveyoucould。
MasGIfeelverylikeitto-day，PipDon’tbehardonmeReadsletter。Itbeginsinthemiddle，with-outany“DearCaptainGadsby。”oranythingHowfunny！
CAPTGAside。No，it’snotDearCaptainGadsby，oranything，nowHowfunny！
MasGWhatastrangeletter！Reads。“Andsothemothhascometoonearthecandleatlast，andhasbeensingedinto-shallI
sayRespectability？Icongratulatehim，andhopehewillbeashappyashedeservestobe。”Whatdoesthatmean？Isshecongratulatingyouaboutourmarriage？
CAPTGYes，Isupposeso。
MasGStillr’adingletter。Sheseemstobeaparticularfriendofyours。
CAPTGYesShewasanexcellentmatronofsorts-aMrs。
Herriott-wifeofaColonelHerriottIusedtoknowsomeofherpeopleatHomelongago-beforeIcameout。
MasGSomeColonel’swivesareyoung-asyoungasmeIknewonewhowasyounger。
CAPTGThenitcouldn’thavebeenMrsHerriottShewasoldenoughtohavebeenycurmother，dear。
MasGIremembernowMrsScargillwastalkingaboutherattheDutfins’tennis，beforeyoucameforme，onTuesdayCaptainMafflinsaidshewasa“dearoldwoman。”Doyouknow，IthinkMafilinisaveryclumsymanwithhisfeet。
CAPTGAside。GoodoldJack！Aloud。Why，dear？
MasGHehadputhiscupdownonthegroundthen，andheliterallysteppedintoitSomeoftheteaspirtedovermydress-thegreyoneImeanttotellyouaboutitbefore。
CAPTGAside。TherearethemakingsofastrategistaboutJackthoughhismethodsarecoarseAloud。You’dbettergetanewdress，thenAside。Letuspraythatthatwillturnher。
MasGOh，itisn’tstainedintheleastIonlythoughtthatI’dtellyouReturningtoletter。Whatanextraordinaryperson！Reads。
“ButneedIremindyouthatyouhavetakenuponyourselfachargeofwardship“-whatintheworldisachargeofwardship？-“whichasyouyourselfknow，mayendinConsequences“-
CAPTGAside。It’ssafesttoletemseeeverythingastheycomeacrossit；but’seemstomethatthereareexceptionstotherule。
Aloud。Itoldyouthattherewasnothingtobegainedfromrearrangingmytable。
MasGAbsently。Whatdoesthewomanmean？ShegoesontalkingaboutConsequences-’’almostinevitableConsequences“
withacapitalC-forhalfapageFlushingscarlet。Oh，goodgracious！Howabominable！
CAPTGPromptly。Doyouthinkso？Doesn’titshowasortofmotherlyinterestinus？Aside。ThankHeavenHarryalwayswrappedhermeaningupsafely！Aloud。Isitabsolutelynecessarytogoonwiththeletter，darling？
MasGIt’simpertinent-it’ssimplyhorridWhatrighthasthiswomantowriteinthiswaytoyou？Sheoughtn’tto。
CAPTGWhenyouwritetotheDeercourtgirl，InoticethatyougenerallyfillthreeorfoursheetsCan’tyouletanoldwomanbabbleonpaperonceinaway？Shemeanswell。
MRSGIdon’tcareSheshouldn’twrite，andifshedid，yououghttohaveshownmeherletter。
CAPTGCan’tyouunderstandwhyIkeptittomyself，ormustI
explainatlength-asIexplainedthefarcybuds？
MasGFuriously。PipIhateyou！Thisisasbadasthoseidioticsaddle-bagsonthefloorNevermindwhetheritwouldpleasemeornot，yououghttohavegivenittometoread。
CAPTGItcomestothesamethingYoutookityourself。
MRSGYes，butifIhadn’ttakenit，youwouldn’thavesaidawordIthinkthisHarrietHerriott-it’slikeanameinabook-isaninterferingoldThing。
CAPTGAside。Solongasyouthoroughlyunderstandthatsheisold，Idon’tmuchcarewhatyouthinkAloud。Verygood，dear。
Wouldyouliketowriteandtellherso？She’sseventhousandmilesaway。
MRSGIdon’twanttohaveany-thingtodowithher，butyououghttohavetoldmeTurningtolastpageofletter。Andshepatronizesme，tooI’veneverseenher！Reads。“Idonotknowhowtheworldstandswithyou；inallhumanprobabilityIshallneverknow；butwhateverImayhavesaidbefore，IprayforhersakemorethanforyoursthatallmaybewellIhavelearnedwhatmiserymeans，andIdarenotwishthatanyonedeartoyoushouldsharemyknowledge。”
CAPTGGoodGod！Can’tyouleavethatletteralone，or，atleast，can’tyourefrainfromreadingitaloud？I’vebeenthroughitonce。
Putitbackon’hedeskDoyouhearme？
MasGIrresolutely。Ish-sha’n’t！LooksatG。’seyes。Oh，Pip，please！Ididn’tmeantomakeyouangry-’Deed，Ididn’tPip，I’msosorryIknowI’vewastedyourtime-CAPTGGrimly。YouhaveNow，willyoubegoodenoughtogo-ifthereisnothingmoreinmyroomthatyouareanxioustopryinto？
MasGPuttingoutherhands。Oh，Pip，don’tlookatmelikethat！I’veneverseenyoulooklikethatbeforeandithu-urtsme！
I’msorryIoughtn’ttohavebeenhereatall，and-and-and-
sobbing。Oh，begoodtome！Begoodtome！There’sonlyyou-anywhere！Breaksdowninlongchair，hidingfaceincushions。
CAPTGAside。Shedoesn’tknowhowsheflickedmeontheraw。
Aloud，bendingoverchair。Ididn’tmeantobeharsh，dear-Ididn’treallyYoucanstayhereaslongasyouplease，anddowhatyoupleaseDon’tcrylikethatYou’llmakeyourselfsickAside。
Whatonearthhascomeoverher？Aloud。Darling，what’sthematterwithyou？
MrsGHerfacestillhidden。Letmego-letmegotomyownroomOnly-onlysayyouaren’tangrywithme。
CAPTGAngrywithyou，love！OfcoursenotIwasangrywithmyselfI’dlostmytemperoverthesaddlery-Don’thideyourface，PussyIwanttokissit。
Bendslower，MasGslidesrightarmroundhisneckSeveralinterludesandmuchsobbing。
MasGInawhisper。Ididn’tmeanaboutthejamwhenIcameintotellyou-
CAPT’GBotherthejamandtheequipment！Interlude。
MasGStillmorefaintly。Myfingerwasn’tscaldedatall。
I-[wantedtospeaktoyouabout-about-somethingelse，and-I
didn’tknowhow。
CAPTGSpeakaway，thenLookingintohereyes。Eb！
Wha-at？
Minnie！Here，don’tgoaway！Youdon’tmean？
MasGHysterically，backingtoportiereandhidingherfaceinitsfold’s。The-theAlmostInevitableConsequences！FlitsthroughportiereasGattemptstocatchher，andboltsherselfinherownroom。
CAPTGHisarmsfullofportiere。Oh！Sittingdownheavilyinchair。I’mabruteapig-abully，andablackguardMypoor，poorlittledarling！“Madetobeamusedonly？”-
THEVALLEYOFTHESHADOW
KnowingGoodandEvil。
SCENE-TheGADSBYS’bungalowinthePlains，inJune。
Punkah-cooliesasleepinverandawhereCaptainGADBYiswalkingupanddownDOCTOR’StrapinporchJUNIOR
CHAPLAINdriftinggenerallyanduneasilythroughthehouse。
Time，3：4OAMHeat94degreesinveranda。
DOCTORComingintoverandaandtouchingGontheshoulder。Youhadbettergoinandseehernow。
CAPTGThecolorofgoodcigar-ash。Eb，wha-at？Oh，yes，ofcourseWhatdidyousay？
DOCTORSyllablebysyllable。Go-in-to-the-room-and-see-
herShewantstospeaktoyouAside，testily。Ishallhavehimonmyhandsnext。
JUNIORCHAPLAINInhalf-lighteddiningroom。Isn’tthereany？-
DOCTORSavagely。Hsb，youlittlefool！
JUNIORCHAPLAINLetmedomyworkGadsby，stopaminuteIEdgesafterG。
DOCTORWaittillshesendsforyouatleast-atleastManalive，he’llkillyouifyougointhere！Whatareyoubotheringhimfor？
JUNIORCHAPLAINComingintoveranda。I’vegivenhimastiffbrandy-pegHewantsitYou’veforgottenhimforthelasttenhoursand-forgottenyourselftoo。
Gentersbedroom，whichislitbyonenight-lampAyakonthefloorpretendingtobeasleep。
VOICEFromthebed。Alldownthestreet-suchbonfires！Ayah，goandputthemout！Appealingly。HowcanIsleepwithaninstallationoftheC。I。Einmyroom？No-notC。I。ESomethingelseWhatwasit？
CAPTGTryingtocontrolhisvoice。Minnie，I’mhere。
Bendingoverbed。Don’tyouknowme，Mmnie？It’sme-it’sPhil-it’syourhusband。