“Forpity’ssake，don’tsaythat！Itellyou，itISgoodandmostenviableThinkofmyconsolations！”
“Haveyousomany，then，McIntosh？”
“Certainly；yourattemptsatsarcasmwhichisessentiallytheweaponofaculturedman，arecrudeFirst，myattainments，myclassicalandliteraryknowledge，blurred，perhaps，byimmoderatedrinking——
whichremindsmethatbeforemysoulwenttotheGodslastnight，I
soldthePickeringHoraceyousokindlylentmeDittaMulltheClothesmanhasitItfetchedtenannas，andmayberedeemedforarupee——butstillinfinitelysuperiortoyoursSecondly，theabidingaffectionofMrsMcIntosh，bestofwivesThirdly，amonument，moreenduringthanbrass，whichIhavebuiltupinthesevenyearsofmydegradation。”
Hestoppedhere，andcrawledacrosstheroomforadrinkofwater。
Hewasveryshakyandsick。
Hereferredseveraltimestohis“treasure“——somegreatpossessionthatheowned——butIheldthistobetheravingofdrinkHewasaspoorandasproudashecouldbeHismannerwasnotpleasant，butheknewenoughaboutthenatives，amongwhomsevenyearsofhislifehadbeenspent，tomakehisacquaintanceworthhavingHeusedactuallytolaughatStricklandasanignorantman——“ignorantWestandEast“——hesaidHisboastwas，first，thathewasanOxfordManofrareandshiningparts，whichmayormaynothavebeentrue——I
didnotknowenoughtocheckhisstatements——and，secondly，thathe“hadhishandonthepulseofnativelife“——whichwasafactAsanOxfordman，hestruckmeasaprig：hewasalwaysthrowinghiseducationaboutAsaMahommedanfaquir——asMcIntoshJellaludin——hewasallthatIwantedformyownendsHesmokedseveralpoundsofmytobacco，andtaughtmeseveralouncesofthingsworthknowing；
buthewouldneveracceptanygifts，notevenwhenthecoldweathercame，andgrippedthepoorthinchestunderthepoorthinalpaca-
coatHegrewveryangry，andsaidthatIhadinsultedhim，andthathewasnotgoingintohospitalHehadlivedlikeabeastandhewoulddierationally，likeaman。
Asamatteroffact，hediedofpneumonia；andonthenightofhisdeathsentoveragrubbynoteaskingmetocomeandhelphimtodie。
ThenativewomanwasweepingbythesideofthebedMcIntosh，wrappedinacottoncloth，wastooweaktoresentafurcoatbeingthrownoverhimHewasveryactiveasfarashismindwasconcerned，andhiseyeswereblazingWhenhehadabusedtheDoctorwhocamewithmesofoullythattheindignantoldfellowleft，hecursedmeforafewminutesandcalmeddown。
Thenhetoldhiswifetofetchout“TheBook“fromaholeinthewallShebroughtoutabigbundle，wrappedinthetailofapetticoat，ofoldsheetsofmiscellaneousnote-paper，allnumberedandcoveredwithfinecrampedwritingMcIntoshploughedhishandthroughtherubbishandstirredituplovingly。
“This。”hesaid，“ismywork——theBookofMcIntoshJellaludin，showingwhathesawandhowhelived，andwhatbefellhimandothers；beingalsoanaccountofthelifeandsinsanddeathofMotherMaturinWhatMirzaMuradAliBeg’sbookistoallotherbooksonnativelife，willmyworkbetoMirzaMuradAliBeg’s！”
This，aswillbeconcededbyanyonewhoknowsMirzaAliBeg’sbook，wasasweepingstatementThepapersdidnotlookspeciallyvaluable；butMcIntoshhandledthemasiftheywerecurrency-notes。
Thenhesaidslowly：——“Indespitethemanyweaknessesofyoureducation，youhavebeengoodtomeIwillspeakofyourtobaccowhenIreachtheGodsIoweyoumuchthanksformanykindnesses。
ButIabominateindebtednessForthisreasonIbequeathtoyounowthemonumentmoreenduringthanbrass——myonebook——rudeandimperfectinparts，butoh，howrareinothers！IwonderifyouwillunderstanditItisagiftmorehonorablethanBah！
whereismybrainramblingto？YouwillmutilateithorriblyYouwillknockoutthegemsyoucall’Latinquotations，’youPhilistine，andyouwillbutcherthestyletocarveintoyourownjerkyjargon；
butyoucannotdestroythewholeofitIbequeathittoyou。
EthelMybrainagain！MrsMcIntosh，bearwitnessthatI
givethesahiballthesepapersTheywouldbeofnousetoyou，Heartofmyheart；andIlayituponyou。”heturnedtomehere，“thatyoudonotletmybookdieinitspresentformItisyoursunconditionally——thestoryofMcIntoshJellaludin，whichisNOT
thestoryofMcIntoshJellaludin，butofagreatermanthanhe，andofafargreaterwomanListennow！Iamneithermadnordrunk！
Thatbookwillmakeyoufamous。”
Isaid，“thankyou。”asthenativewomanputthebundleintomyarms。
“Myonlybaby！”saidMcIntoshwithasmileHewassinkingfast，buthecontinuedtotalkaslongasbreathremainedIwaitedfortheend：knowingthat，insixcasesoutoftenthedyingmancallsforhismotherHeturnedonhissideandsaid：——
“SayhowitcameintoyourpossessionNoonewillbelieveyou，butmyname，atleast，willliveYouwilltreatitbrutally，IknowyouwillSomeofitmustgo；thepublicarefoolsandprudishfoolsIwastheirservantonceButdoyourmanglinggently——verygentlyItisagreatwork，andIhavepaidforitinsevenyears’
damnation。”
Hisvoicestoppedfortenortwelvebreaths，andthenhebeganmumblingaprayerofsomekindinGreekThenativewomancriedverybitterlyLastly，heroseinbedandsaid，asloudlyasslowly：——“Notguilty，myLord！”
Thenhefellback，andthestuporheldhimtillhediedThenativewomanranintotheSeraiamongthehorsesandscreamedandbeatherbreasts；forshehadlovedhim。
PerhapshislastsentenceinlifetoldwhatMcIntoshhadoncegonethrough；but，savingthebigbundleofoldsheetsinthecloth，therewasnothinginhisroomtosaywhoorwhathehadbeen。
Thepaperswereinahopelessmuddle。
Stricklandhelpedmetosortthem，andhesaidthatthewriterwaseitheranextremeliaroramostwonderfulpersonHethoughttheformerOneofthesedays，youmaybeabletojudgeforyourself。
ThebundleneededmuchexpurgationandwasfullofGreeknonsense，attheheadofthechapters，whichhasallbeencutout。
Ifthethingsareeverpublishedsomeonemayperhapsrememberthisstory，nowprintedasasafeguardtoprovethatMcIntoshJellaludinandnotImyselfwrotetheBookofMotherMaturin。
Idon’twanttheGiant’sRobetocometrueinmycase。
VOLUMEVITHELIGHTTHATFAILED
THELIGHTTHATFAILED
CHAPTERI
SowesettleditallwhenthestormwasdoneAscomf’yascomf’ycouldbe；
AndIwastowaitinthebarn，mydears，BecauseIwasonlythree；
AndTeddywouldruntotherainbow’sfoot，Becausehewasfiveandaman；
Andthat’showitallbegan，mydears，Andthat’showitallbegan——
BigBarnStories。
’WHATdoyouthinkshe’ddoifshecaughtus？Weoughtn’ttohaveit，youknow，’saidMaisie。
’Beatme，andlockyouupinyourbedroom，’Dickanswered，withouthesitation’Haveyougotthecartridges？’
“Yes；they’reinmypocket，buttheyarejogglinghorriblyDopin-firecartridgesgooffoftheirownaccord？’
’Don’tknowTaketherevolver，ifyouareafraid，andletmecarrythem。’
“I’mnotafraid。’Maisiestrodeforwardswiftly，ahandinherpocketandherchinintheairDickfollowedwithasmallpin-firerevolver-
Thechildrenhaddiscoveredthattheirliveswouldbeunendurablewithoutpistol-practiceAftermuchforethoughtandself-denial，Dickhadsavedsevenshillingsandsixpence，thepriceofabadlyconstructedBelgianrevolverMaisiecouldonlycontributehalfacrowntothesyndicateforthepurchaseofahundredcartridges’YoucansavebetterthanIcan，Dick，’sheexplained；’Ilikenicethingstoeat，anditdoesn’tmattertoyouBesides，boysoughttodothesethings。’
Dickgrumbledalittleatthearrangement，butwentoutandmadethepurchase，whichthechildrenwerethenontheirwaytotest。
RevolversdidnotlieintheschemeoftheirdailylifeasdecreedforthembytheguardianwhowasincorrectlysupposedtostandintheplaceofamothertothesetwoorphansDickhadbeenunderhercareforsixyears，duringwhichtimeshehadmadeherprofitoftheallowancessupposedtobeexpendedonhisclothes，and，partlythroughthoughtlessness，partlythroughanaturaldesiretopain，——shewasawidowofsomeyearsanxioustomarryagain，——hadmadehisdaysburdensomeonhisyoungshoulders-
Wherehehadlookedforlove，shegavehimfirstaversionandthenhate-
Wherehegrowingolderhadsoughtalittlesympathy，shegavehimridiculeThemanyhoursthatshecouldsparefromtheorderingofhersmallhouseshedevotedtowhatshecalledthehome-trainingofDickHeldarHerreligion，manufacturedinthemainbyherownintelligenceandakeenstudyoftheScriptures，wasanaidtoherinthismatter。
AtsuchtimesassheherselfwasnotpersonallydispleasedwithDick，shelefthimtounderstandthathehadaheavyaccounttosettlewithhisCreator；whereforeDicklearnedtoloathehisGodasintenselyasheloathedMrsJennett；andthisisnotawholesomeframeofmindfortheyoungSinceshechosetoregardhimasahopelessliar，butaneconomicalandself-containedone，neverthrowingawaytheleastunnecessaryfib，andneverhesitatingattheblackest，wereitonlyplausible，thatmightmakehislifealittleeasierThetreatmenttaughthimatleastthepoweroflivingalone，——apowerthatwasofservicetohimwhenhewenttoapublicschoolandtheboyslaughedathisclothes，whichwerepoorinqualityandmuchmendedIntheholidayshereturnedtotheteachingsofMrsJennett，and，thatthechainofdisciplinemightnotbeweakenedbyassociationwiththeworld，wasgenerallybeaten，ononeaccountoranother，beforehehadbeentwelvehoursunderherroof-
Theautumnofoneyearbroughthimacompanioninbondage，along-haired，gray-eyedlittleatom，asself-containedashimself，whomovedaboutthehousesilentlyandforthefirstfewweeksspokeonlytothegoatthatwasherchiefestfriendonearthandlivedintheback-gardenMrsJennettobjectedtothegoatonthegroundsthathewasun-Christian，——whichhecertainlywas’Then，’saidtheatom，choosingherwordsverydeliberately，’Ishallwritetomylawyer-peoplesandtellthemthatyouareaverybadwoman。
Amommaismine，mine，mine！’MrsJennettmadeamovementtothehall，wherecertainumbrellasandcanesstoodinarackTheatomunderstoodasclearlyasDickwhatthismeant’Ihavebeenbeatenbefore，’shesaid，stillinthesamepassionlessvoice；’IhavebeenbeatenworsethanyoucaneverbeatmeIfyoubeatmeIshallwritetomylawyer-peoplesandtellthemthatyoudonotgivemeenoughtoeatIamnotafraidofyou。’MrsJennettdidnotgointothehall，andtheatom，afterapausetoassureherselfthatalldangerofwarwaspast，wentout，toweepbitterlyonAmomma’sneck-
DicklearnedtoknowherasMaisie，andatfirstmistrustedherprofoundly，forhefearedthatshemightinterferewiththesmalllibertyofactionlefttohimShedidnot，however；andshevolunteerednofriendlinessuntilDickhadtakenthefirststepsLongbeforetheholidayswereover，thestressofpunishmentsharedincommondrovethechildrentogether，ifitwereonlytoplayintoeachother’shandsastheypreparedliesforMrsJennett’suseWhenDickreturnedtoschool，Maisiewhispered，’NowIshallbeallalonetotakecareofmyself；
but，’andshenoddedherheadbravely，’IcandoitYoupromisedtosendAmommaagrasscollarSenditsoon。’Aweeklatersheaskedforthatcollarbyreturnofpost，andwanotpleasedwhenshelearnedthatittooktimetomakeWhenatlastDickforwardedthegift，sheforgottothankhimforit-
Manyholidayshadcomeandgonesincethatday，andDickhadgrownintoalankyhobbledehoymorethaneverconsciousofhisbadclothes。
NotforamomenthadMrsJennettrelaxedhertendercareofhim，buttheaveragecaningsofapublicschool——Dickfellunderpunishmentaboutthreetimesamonth——filledhimwithcontemptforherpowers。
’Shedoesn’thurt，’heexplainedtoMaisie，whourgedhimtorebellion，’andsheiskindertoyouaftershehaswhackedme。’Dickshambledthroughthedaysunkemptinbodyandsavageinsoul，asthesmallerboysoftheschoollearnedtoknow，forwhenthespiritmovedhimhewouldhitthem，cunninglyandwithscienceThesamespiritmadehimmorethanoncetrytoteaseMaisie，butthegirlrefusedtobemadeunhappy’Wearebothmiserableasitis，’saidshe’Whatistheuseoftryingtomakethingsworse？Let’sfindthingstodo，andforgetthings。’