第75章
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  buttheireyeswerealight,andyoucouldseethattheyhadalreadyconvictedandsentencedtheSeniorSubalternTheColonelseemedfiveyearsolderOneMajorwasshadinghiseyeswithhishandandwatchingthewomanfromunderneathitAnotherwaschewinghismoustacheandsmilingquietlyasifhewerewitnessingaplay。

  Fullintheopenspaceinthecentre,bythewhist-tables,theSeniorSubaltern’sterrierwashuntingforfleasIrememberallthisasclearlyasthoughaphotographwereinmyhandIrememberthelookofhorrorontheSeniorSubaltern’sfaceItwasratherlikeseeingamanhanged;butmuchmoreinterestingFinally,thewomanwoundupbysayingthattheSeniorSubalterncarriedadoubleFMintattooonhisleftshoulderWeallknewthat,andtoourinnocentmindsitseemedtoclinchthematterButoneoftheBachelorMajorssaidverypolitely:——“Ipresumethatyourmarriagecertificatewouldbemoretothepurpose?”

  ThatrousedthewomanShestoodupandsneeredattheSeniorSubalternforacur,andabusedtheMajorandtheColonelandalltherestThenshewept,andthenshepulledapaperfromherbreast,sayingimperially:——“Takethat!Andletmyhusband——mylawfullyweddedhusband——readitaloud——ifhedare!”

  Therewasahush,andthemenlookedintoeachother’seyesastheSeniorSubalterncameforwardinadazedanddizzyway,andtookthepaperWewerewonderingaswestared,whethertherewasanythingagainstanyoneofusthatmightturnuplateronTheSeniorSubaltern’sthroatwasdry;but,asheranhiseyeoverthepaper,hebrokeoutintoahoarsecackleofrelief,andsaidtothewoman:——

  “Youyoungblackguard!”

  Butthewomanhadfledthroughadoor,andonthepaperwaswritten:——“ThisistocertifythatI,TheWorm,havepaidinfullmydebtstotheSeniorSubaltern,and,further,thattheSeniorSubalternismydebtor,byagreementonthe23dofFebruary,asbytheMessattested,totheextentofonemonth’sCaptain’spay,inthelawfulcurrencyoftheIndiaEmpire。”

  ThenadeputationsetoffforTheWorm’squartersandfoundhim,betwixtandbetween,unlacinghisstays,withthehat,wig,sergedress,etc。,onthebedHecameoverashewas,andthe“Shikarris“shoutedtilltheGunners’MesssentovertoknowiftheymighthaveashareofthefunIthinkwewereall,excepttheColonelandtheSeniorSubaltern,alittledisappointedthatthescandalhadcometonothingButthatishumannatureTherecouldbenotwowordsaboutTheWorm’sactingItleanedasneartoanastytragedyasanythingthissideofajokecanWhenmostoftheSubalternssatuponhimwithsofa-cushionstofindoutwhyhehadnotsaidthatactingwashisstrongpoint,heansweredveryquietly:——“Idon’tthinkyoueveraskedmeIusedtoactatHomewithmysisters。”ButnoactingwithgirlscouldaccountforTheWorm’sdisplaythatnightPersonally,Ithinkitwasinbadtaste。

  BesidesbeingdangerousThereisnosortofuseinplayingwithfire,evenforfun。

  The“Shikarris“madehimPresidentoftheRegimentalDramaticClub;

  and,whentheSeniorSubalternpaiduphisdebt,whichhedidatonce,TheWormsankthemoneyinsceneryanddressesHewasagoodWorm;andthe“Shikarris“areproudofhimTheonlydrawbackisthathehasbeenchristened“MrsSeniorSubaltern;“andastherearenowtwoMrsSeniorSubalternsintheStation,thisissometimesconfusingtostrangers。

  Lateron,Iwilltellyouofacasesomethinglike,this,butwithallthejestleftoutandnothinginitbutrealtrouble。

  THEBROKENLINKHANDICAPPED。

  Whilethesnaffleholds,orthe“long-neck“stings,Whilethebigbeamtilts,orthelastbellrings,Whilehorsesarehorsestotrainandtorace,ThenwomenandwinetakeasecondplaceForme——forme——

  Whileashort“ten-three“

  Hasafieldtosquanderorfencetoface!

  SongoftheGR。

  TherearemorewaysofrunningahorsetosuityourbookthanpullinghisheadoffinthestraightSomemenforgetthis。

  Understandclearlythatallracingisrotten——aseverythingconnectedwithlosingmoneymustbeOuthere,inadditiontoitsinherentrottenness,ithasthemeritofbeingtwo-thirdssham;

  lookingprettyonpaperonlyEveryoneknowseveryoneelsefartoowellforbusinesspurposesHowonearthcanyourackandharryandpostamanforhislosings,whenyouarefondofhiswife,andliveinthesameStationwithhim?Hesays,“ontheMondayfollowing。”“Ican’tsettlejustyet。”“Yousay,“Allright,oldman。”andthinkyourselfluckyifyoupulloffninehundredoutofatwo-thousandrupeedebtAnywayyoulookatit,Indianracingisimmoral,andexpensivelyimmoralWhichismuchworseIfamanwantsyourmoney,heoughttoaskforit,orsendroundasubscription-list,insteadofjugglingaboutthecountry,withanAustralianlarrikin;a“brumby。”withasmuchbreedastheboy;abraceofchumarsingold-lacedcaps;threeorfourekka-ponieswithhoggedmanes,andaswitch-taileddemirepofamarecalledArabbecauseshehasakinkinherflagRacingleadstotheshroffquickerthananythingelseButifyouhavenoconscienceandnosentiments,andgoodhands,andsomeknowledgeofpace,andtenyears’experienceofhorses,andseveralthousandrupeesamonth,I

  believethatyoucanoccasionallycontrivetopayyourshoeing-

  bills。

  DidyoueverknowShackles——bwg。,15。13。8——coarse,loose,mule-

  likeears——barrelaslongasagate-post——toughasatelegraph-wire——

  andthequeerestbrutethateverlookedthroughabridle?Hewasofnobrand,beingoneofanear-nickedmobtakenintotheBucephalusat4l-10saheadtomakeupfreight,andsoldrawandoutofconditionatCalcuttaforRs275Peoplewholostmoneyonhimcalledhima“brumby;“butifeveranyhorsehadHarpoon’sshouldersandTheGin’stemper,ShackleswasthathorseTwomileswashisownparticulardistanceHetrainedhimself,ranhimself,androdehimself;and,ifhisjockeyinsultedhimbygivinghimhints,heshutupatonceandbuckedtheboyoffHeobjectedtodictationTwoorthreeofhisownersdidnotunderstandthis,andlostmoneyinconsequenceAtlasthewasboughtbyamanwhodiscoveredthat,ifaracewastobewon,Shackles,andShacklesonly,wouldwinitinhisownway,solongashisjockeysatstill。

  Thismanhadariding-boycalledBrunt——aladfromPerth,WestAustralia——andhetaughtBrunt,withatrainer’swhip,thehardestthingajockcanlearn——tositstill,tositstill,andtokeeponsittingstillWhenBruntfairlygraspedthistruth,ShacklesdevastatedthecountryNoweightcouldstophimathisowndistance;andThefameofShacklesspreadfromAjmirintheSouth,toChedputterintheNorthTherewasnohorselikeShackles,solongashewasallowedtodohisworkinhisownwayButhewasbeatenintheend;andthestoryofhisfallisenoughtomakeangelsweep。

  AtthelowerendoftheChedputterracecourse,justbeforetheturnintothestraight,thetrackpassesclosetoacoupleofoldbrick-

  moundsenclosingafunnel-shapedhollowThebigendofthefunnelisnotsixfeetfromtherailingsontheoff-sideTheastoundingpeculiarityofthecourseisthat,ifyoustandatoneparticularplace,abouthalfamileaway,insidethecourse,andspeakatanordinarypitch,yourvoicejusthitsthefunnelofthebrick-moundsandmakesacuriouswhiningechothereAmandiscoveredthisonemorningbyaccidentwhileouttrainingwithafriendHemarkedtheplacetostandandspeakfromwithacoupleofbricks,andhekepthisknowledgetohimselfEVERYpeculiarityofacourseisworthrememberinginacountrywhereratsplaythemischiefwiththeelephant-litter,andStewardsbuildjumpstosuittheirownstables。

  Thismanranaveryfairishcountry-bred,along,rackinghighmarewiththetemperofafiend,andthepacesofanairywanderingseraph——adrifty,glidystretchThemarewas,asadelicatetributetoMrsReiver,called“TheLadyRegulaBaddun“——orforshort,RegulaBaddun。

  Shackles’jockey,Brunt,wasaquiet,well-behavedboy,buthisnerveshadbeenshakenHebeganhiscareerbyridingjump-racesinMelbourne,whereafewStewardswantlynching,andwasoneofthejockeyswhocamethroughtheawfulbutchery——perhapsyouwillrecollectit——oftheMaribyrnongPlateThewallswerecolonialramparts——logsofjarrakspikedintomasonry——withwingsasstrongasChurchbuttressesOnceinhisstride,ahorsehadtojumporfallHecouldn’trunoutIntheMaribyrnongPlate,twelvehorseswerejammedatthesecondwallRedHat,leading,fellthisside,andthrewoutTheGlen,andtheruckcameupbehindandthespacebetweenwingandwingwasonestruggling,screaming,kickingshamblesFourjockeysweretakenoutdead;threewereverybadlyhurt,andBruntwasamongthethreeHetoldthestoryoftheMaribyrnongPlatesometimes;andwhenhedescribedhowWhalleyonRedHat,said,asthemarefellunderhim:——“Godha’mercy,I’mdonefor!”andhow,nextinstant,SitheeThereandWhiteOtterhadcrushedthelifeoutofpoorWhalley,andthedusthidasmallhellofmenandhorses,noonemarvelledthatBrunthaddroppedjump-

  racesandAustraliatogetherRegulaBaddun’sownerknewthatstorybyheartBruntnevervarieditinthetellingHehadnoeducation。

  ShacklescametotheChedputterAutumnracesoneyear,andhisownerwalkedaboutinsultingthesportsmenofChedputtergenerally,tilltheywenttotheHonorarySecretaryinabodyandsaid:——“AppointHandicappers,andarrangearacewhichshallbreakShacklesandhumbletheprideofhisowner。”TheDistrictsroseagainstShacklesandsentupoftheirbest;Ousel,whowassupposedtobeabletodohismilein1-53;Petard,thestud-bred,trainedbyacavalryregimentwhoknewhowtotrain;Gringalet,theewe-lambofthe75th;

  Bobolink,theprideofPeshawar;andmanyothers。

  TheycalledthatraceTheBroken-LinkHandicap,becauseitwastosmashShackles;andtheHandicapperspiledontheweights,andtheFundgaveeighthundredrupees,andthedistancewas“roundthecourseforallhorses。”Shackles’ownersaid:——“YoucanarrangetheracewithregardtoShacklesonlySolongasyoudon’tburyhimunderweight-cloths,Idon’tmindRegulaBaddun’sownersaid:——“I

  throwinmymaretofretOuselSixfurlongsisRegula’sdistance,andshewillthenliedownanddieSoalsowillOusel,forhisjockeydoesn’tunderstandawaitingrace。”Now,thiswasalie,forRegulahadbeeninworkfortwomonthsatDehra,andherchancesweregood,alwayssupposingthatShacklesbrokeablood-vessel——OR

  BRUNTMOVEDONHIM。

  TheplunginginthelotterieswasfineTheyfilledeightthousand-

  rupeelotteriesontheBrokenLinkHandicap,andtheaccountinthePioneersaidthat“favoritismwasdivided。”InplainEnglish,thevariouscontingentswerewildontheirrespectivehorses;fortheHandicappershaddonetheirworkwellTheHonorarySecretaryshoutedhimselfhoarsethroughthedin;andthesmokeofthecherootswaslikethesmoke,andtherattlingofthedice-boxesliketherattleofsmall-armfire。

  Tenhorsesstarted——verylevel——andRegulaBaddun’sownercanteredoutonhisbacktoaplaceinsidethecircleofthecourse,wheretwobrickshadbeenthrownHefacedtowardsthebrick-moundsatthelowerendofthecourseandwaited。

  ThestoryoftherunningisinthePioneerAttheendofthefirstmile,Shacklescreptoutoftheruck,wellontheoutside,readytogetroundtheturn,layholdofthebitandspinupthestraightbeforetheothersknewhehadgotawayBruntwassittingstill,perfectlyhappy,listeningtothe“drum,drum,drum“ofthehoofsbehind,andknowingthat,inabouttwentystrides,Shackleswoulddrawonedeepbreathandgoupthelasthalf-milelikethe“FlyingDutchman。”AsShackleswentshorttotaketheturnandcameabreastofthebrick-mound,Bruntheard,abovethenoiseofthewindinhisears,awhining,wailingvoiceontheoffside,saying:——“Godha’

  mercy,I’mdonefor!”Inonestride,BruntsawthewholeseethingsmashoftheMaribyrnongPlatebeforehim,startedinhissaddleandgaveayellofterrorThestartbroughttheheelsintoShackles’

  side,andthescreamhurtShackles’feelingsHecouldn’tstopdead;butheputouthisfeetandslidalongforfiftyyards,andthen,verygravelyandjudicially,buckedoffBrunt——ashaking,terror-strickenlump,whileRegulaBaddunmadeaneck-and-neckracewithBobolinkupthestraight,andwonbyashorthead——PetardabadthirdShackles’owner,intheStand,triedtothinkthathisfield-glasseshadgonewrongRegulaBaddun’sowner,waitingbythetwobricks,gaveonedeepsighofrelief,andcanteredbacktothestandHehadwon,inlotteriesandbets,aboutfifteenthousand。

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