ASimlafuneralwiththeclergymanriding，themournersriding，andthecoffincreakingasitswingsbetweenthebearer~，isoneofthemostdepressingthingsonthisearth，particularlywhentheprocessionpassesunderthewet，dankdipbeneaththeRockcliffeHotel，wherethesunisshutoutandallthebillstreamsarewailingandweepingtogetherastheygodownthevalleysOccasionallyfolktendthegraves，butweinIndiashiftandaretransferredsooftenthat，attheendofthesecondyear，theDeadhavenofriends-onlyacquaintanceswhoarefartoobusyamusingthemsel“esupthehilltoattendtooldpartnersTheideaofusingaCemeteryasarendezvousisdistinctlyafeminineoneAmanwouldhavesaidsimply“LetpeopletalkWe’llgodowntheMall。”Awomanismadedifferently，especiallyifshebesuchawomanastheMan’sWifeSheandtheTertiumQuidenjoyedeachother’ssocietyamongthegravesofmenandwomenwhomtheyhadknownanddancedwithaforetime。
Theyusedtotakeabighorse-blanketandsitonthegrassalittletotheleftofthelowerend，wherethereisadipinthegroundandwheretheoccupiedgravesstopshortandtheready-madeonesarenotreadyEachwell-regulatedIndiaCemeterykeepshalfadozengravespermanentlyopenforcontingenciesandincidentalwearandtearIntheHillsthesearemoreusuallybaby’s，’ize，becausechildrenwhocomeupweakenedandsickfromthePlainsoftensuccumbtotheeffectsoftheRainsintheHillsorgetpneumoniafromtheirayahstakingthemthroughdamppine-woodsafterthesunhassetInCantonments，ofcourse，theman’ssizeismoreinrequest；thesearrangementsvaryingwiththeclimateandpopulation。
OnedaywhentheMan’sWifeandtheTertiumQuidhadjustarrivedintheCemetery，theysawsomecooliesbreakinggroundTheyhadmarkedoutafull-sizegrave，andtheTertiumQuidaskedthemwhetheranySahibwassickTheysaidthattheydidnotknow；butitwasanorderthattheyshoulddigaSahib’sgrave。
“Workaway。”saidtheTertiumQuid，“andlet’sseehowit’sdone。”
Thecooliesworkedaway，andtheMan’sWifeandtheTertiumQuidwatchedandtalkedforacoupleofhourswhilethegravewasbeingdeepenedThenacoolie，takingtheearthinblanketsasitwasthrownup，jumpedoverthegrave。
“That’~queer。”saidtheTertiumQuid“Where’smyulster？”
“What’squeer？”saidtheMan’sWife。
“Ihavegotachilldownmybackjustasifagoosehadwalkedovermygrave。”
’Whydoyoulookatthething，then？”saidtheMm’sWife“Letusgo。”
TheTertiumQuidstoodattheheadofthegrave，andstaredwithoutansweringforaspaceThenhesaid，droppingapebbledown，“Itisnas’y~andcold；horriblycoldIdon’tthinkIshailcometotheCemeteryanymoreIdon’tthinkgrave-diggingischeerful。”
Thetwotalkedandagreedthatth~
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CemeterywasdepressingTheyalsoarrangedforaridenextdayoutfromtheCemeterythroughtheMashobraTunneluptoFagooandback，becausealltheworldwasgoingtoagarden-partyatViceregalLodge，andallthepeopleofMashobrawouldgotoo。
CorninguptheCemeteryroad，theTertiumQuid’shorsetriedtoboltu~hill，beingtiredwithstandingsolong，andmanagedtostrainahacksinew。
“Ishallhavetotakethemaretotriorrow。”saidtheTertiumQuid，“andshewillstandnothingheavierthanasnaffie。”
TheymadetheirarrangementstomeetintheCemetery，afterallowingalltheMashobrapeopletimetopassintoSimlaThatnightitrainedheavily，andnextday，whentheTertiumQuidcametothetrysting-place，hesawthatthenewgravehadafootofwaterinit，thegroundbeingatoughandsourclay。
“’Jove！Thatlooksbeastly。”saidtheTertiurnQuid“Fancybeingboardedupanddroppedintothatwell！”
TheythenstartedofftoFagoo，themareplayingwiththesnaffleandpickingherwayasthoughshewereshodwithsatin，andthesunshiningdivinelyTheroadbelowMashobratoFagooisofficiallystyledtheHimalayan-ThibetRoad；butinspiteofitsnameitisnotmuchmorethansixfeetwideinmostplaces，andthedropintothevalleybelowmustbeanythingbetweenoneandtwothousandfeet。
“Nowwe’regoingtoThibet。”saidtheMan’sWifemerrily，asthehorsesdrewneartoFagooShewasridingonthecliff-side。
“IntoThihet。”saidtheTertiumQuid，“eversofarfrompeoplewhosayhorridthings，andhubbieswhowritestupidlettersWithyou-totheendoftheworld！”
Acooliecarryingalogofwoodcameroundacorner，andthemarewentwidetoavoidhim-forefeetinandhaunchesout，asasensiblemareshouldgo。
“Totheworld’send。”saidtheMan’sWife，andlookedunspeakablethingsoverhernearshoulderattheTertiumQuid。
Hewassmiling，but，whileshelooked，thesmflefrozestiffasitwereonhisface，andchangedtoanervousgrin-thesortofgrinmenwearwhentheyarenotquiteeasyintheirsaddlesThemareseemedtobesinkingbythestem，andhernostrilscrackedwhileshewastryingtorealizewhatwashappeningTherainofthenightbeforehadrottedthedrop-sideoftheHimalayan-ThibetRoad，anditwasgivingwayunderhen“Whatareyoudoing？”saidtheMan’sWifeTheTertiumQuidgavenoanswenHegrinnednervouslyandsethisspursintothemare，whorappedwithherforefeetontheroad，andthestrugglebeganTheMan’sWifescreamed，“Oh，Frank，getoff！”
ButtheTertiumQuidwasgluedtothesaddle-hisfaceblueandwhite-andhelookedintotheMan’sWife’seyesThentheMan’sWifeclutchedatthemare’sheadandcaughtherbythenoseinsteadofthebridleThebrutethrewupherheadandwentdownwithascream，theTertiumQuiduponher，andthenervousgrinstillsetonhisface。
TheMan’sWifeheardthetinkle-tinMeoflittlestonesandlooseearthfallingofftheroadway，andtheslidingroarAWAYSIDECOMEDY
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ofthemanandhorsegoingdownTheneverythingwasquiet，andshecalledonFranktoleavehismareandwalkupButFrankdidnotanswerHewasunderneaththemare，ninehundredfeetbelow，spoilingapatchofIndiancorn。
AstherevellerscamehackfromViceregalLodgeinthemistsoftheevening，theymetatemporarilyinsanewoman，onatemporarilymadhorse，swingingroundthecorners，withhereyesandhermouthopen，andherheadliketheheadoftheMedusaShewasstoppedbyamanattheriskofhislife，andtakenoutofthesaddle，alimpheap，andputonthebanktoexplainherselfThiswastedtwentyminutes，andthenshewassenthomeinalady’s’rickshaw，stillwithhermouthopenandherhandspickingatherriding-gloves。
Shewasinbedthroughthefollowingthreedays，whichwererainy；soshemissedattendingthefuneraloftheTertiumQuid，whowasloweredintoeighteeninchesofwater，insteadofthetwelvetowhichhehadfirstobjected。
AWaysicteComedyBecausetoeverypurposethereistimeandjudgment，thereforethemiseryofmanisgreatuponhim——
Ecciesviii6。
FATEandtheGovernmentofIndiahaveturnedtheStationofKashimaintoaprison；and，becausethereisnohelpforthepoorsoulswhoarenowlyingthereintorment，Iwritethisstory，prayingthattheGovernmentofIndiamaybemovedtoscattertheEuropeanpopulationtothefourwinds。
Kashimaisboundonallsidesbytherock-tippedcircleoftheDosehrihillsInSpring，itisablazewithrosesinSummer，therosesdieandthehotwindsblowfromthehills；inAutumn，thewhitemistsfromtheihilscovertheplaceaswithwater，andinWinterthefrostsnipeverythingyoungandtendertoearth-levelThereisbutoneviewinKashima-astretchofperfectlyflatpastureandplough-land，runninguptothegrey-bluescruboftheDosebrihills。
Therearenoamusements，exceptsnipeandtigershooting；butthetigershavebeenlongsincehuntedfromtheirlairsintherock-caves，andthesnipeonlycomeonceayearNarkarra-onehundredandforty-threemilesbyroad-istheneareststationtoKashimaButKashimanevergoestoNarkarra，wherethereareatleasttwelveEnglishpeopleItstayswithinthecircleoftheDosebrihills。
AllKasbimaacquitsMrsVansuythenofanyintentiontodoharm；
butallKashimaknowsthatshe，andshealone，broughtabouttheirpain。
Boulte，theEngineer，MrsBoulte，andCaptainKurrellknowthis。
TheyaretheEnglishpopulationofKashima，ifweexceptMajorVansuythen，whoisofnoimportancewhatever，andMrsVansuythen，whoisthemostimportantofall。
Youmustremember，thoughyouwillnotunderstand，thatalllawsweaken200
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inasmallandhiddencommunitywherethereisnopublicopinion。
WhenamanisabsolutelyaloneinaStationherunsacertainriskoffallingintoevilways。
Theriskismultipliedbyeveryadditiontoth~populationuptotwelve-theJury-numberAfterthat，fearandconsequentrestraintbegin，andhumanactionbecomeslessgrotesquelyjerky。
TherewasdeeppeaceinKashimatillMrsVansuythenarrived。
Shewasacharmingwoman，everyonesaidsoeverywhere；andshecharmedeveryoneInspiteofthis，or，perhaps，becauseofthis，sinceFateissoperverse，shecaredonlyforoneman，andhewasMajorVansuythenHadshebeenplainorstupid，thismatterwouldhavebeenintelligibletoKashimaButshewasafairwoman，withverystillgreyeyes，thecolorofalakejustbeforethelightofthesuntouchesit。
Nomanwhohadseenthoseeyes，could，lateron，explainwhatfashionofwomanshewastolookuponTheeyesdazzledhimHerownsexsaidthatshewas“nothadlooking，butspoiledbypretendingtobesograve。”AndyethergravitywasnaturalItwasnotherhabittosmile。
Shemerelywentthroughlife，lookingatthosewhopassed；andthe~omenobjectedwhilethemenfelldownandworshipped。
SheknowsandisdeeplysorryfortheevilshehasdonetoKashima；butMajorVansuythencannotunderstandwhyMrsBoultedoesnotdropintoafternoonteaatleastthreetimesaweek。
“WhenthereareonlytwowomeninoneStation，theyoughttoseeagreatdealofeachother。”
saysMajorVansuythen。
LongandlongbeforeeverMrsVansuythencameoutofthosefar-awayplaceswherethereissocietyandamusement，KurrellhaddiscoveredthatMrsBoultewastheonewomanintheworldforhimand-youdarenotblamethemKashimawasasoutoftheworldasHeavenortheOtherPlace，andtheDosehrihillskepttheirsecretwell。
BoultehadnoconcerninthematterHewasincampforafortnightatatimeHewasahard，heavyman，andneitherMrs。
BoultenorKurrellpitiedhimTheyhadallKashimaandeachotherfortheirvery，veryown；
andKashimawastheGardenofEdeninthosedaysWhenBoultereturnedfromhiswanderingshewouldslapKurrellbetweentheshouldersandcallhim“oldfellow。”andthethreewoulddinetogetherKashimawashappythenwhenthejudgmentofGodseemedalmostasdistantasNarkarraortherailwaythatrandowntotheseaButtheGovernmentsentMajorVansuythentoKashima，andwithhimcamehiswife。
TheetiquetteofKashimaismuchthesameasthatofadesertislandWhenastrangeriscastawaythere，allhandsgodowntotheshoretomakehimwelcome。
KashimaassembledatthemasonryplatformclosetotheNarkarraRoad，andspreadteafortheVansuythcnsThatceremonywasreckonedaformalcall，andmadethemfreeoftheStation，itsrightsandprivilegesWhentheVansuythensweresettleddown，theygaveatinyhousewarmingtoallKashima；andthatmadeKashimafreeoftheirhouse，accordingtotheimmemorialusageoftheStation。
ThentheRainscame，whennooneAWAYSIDECOMEDY
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couldgointocamp，andtheNarkarraRoadwaswashedawaybytheKasunRiver，andinthecup-likepasturesofKashimathecattlewadedknee-deep。
ThecloudsdroppeddownfromtheDosehrihillsandcoveredeverything。
AttheendoftheRains，Boulte’smannertowardhiswifechangedandbecamedemonstrativelyaffectionateTheyhadbeenmarriedtwelveyears，andthechangestartledMrsBoulte，whohatedherhusbandwiththehateofawomanwhohasmetwithnothingbutkindnessfromhermate，and，intheteethofthiskindness，haddonehimagreatwrongMoreover，shehadherawntroubletofightwith-herwatch0keepoverherownproperty，KurrellFortwomonthstheRainshadhiddentheDosebrihillsandmanyotherthingsbesides；butwhentheylifted，theyshowedMrsBoultethathermanamongmen，herTed-forshecalledhimTedintheolddayswhenBoultewasoutofearshot-wasslippingthelinksoftheallegiance。
“TheVansuythenWomanhastakenhim。”MrsBoultesaidtoherself；andwhenBoultewasaway，weptoverherbelief，inthefaceoftheover-vehementblandishmentsofTedSorrowinKashimaisasfortunateasLove，becausethereisnothingtoweakenitsavetheflightofTime。
MrsBoultehadneverbreathedhersuspiciontoKurrellbecauseshewasnotcertain；andhernatureledhertobeverycertainbeforeshetookstepsinanydirectionThatiswhyshebehavedasshedid。
Boultecameintothehouseoneevening，andleanedagainstthedoor-postsofthedrawing-room，chewinghismoustacheMrsBoultewasputtingsomeflowersintoavaseThereisapretenceofcivilizationeveninKashima。
“Littlewoman。”saidBoulte，quietly，“doyoucareforme？”
“Immensely。”saidshe，withalaugh“Canyouask~？”
“ButI’mserious。”saidBoulte“Doyoucareforme？”
MrsBoultedroppedtheflowers，andturnedroundquickly“Doyouwantanhonestanswer？”