第16章
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  Withthebulletskickin’dust-spotsonthegreen。

  Whenthecartridgesranout,Youcouldhearthefront-filesshout,“Hi!ammunition-mulesan’GungaDin!”

  Ishan’tforgitthenightWhenIdroppedbe’indthefightWithabulletwheremybelt-plateshould’a’been。

  Iwaschokin’madwiththirst,An’themanthatspiedmefirstWasourgoodoldgrinnin’,gruntin’GungaDin。

  ’Eliftedupmy’ead,An’hepluggedmewhereIbled,An’’eguvme’arf-a-pinto’water-green:

  Itwascrawlin’anditstunk,ButofallthedrinksI’vedrunk,I’mgratefullesttoonefromGungaDin。

  Itwas“Din!Din!Din!

  ’Ere’sabeggarwithabulletthrough’isspleen;

  ’E’schawin’uptheground,An’’e’skickin’allaround:

  ForGawd’ssakegitthewater,GungaDin!”

  ’EcarriedmeawayTowhereadoolilay,An’abulletcomean’drilledthebeggarclean。

  ’Eputmesafeinside,An’justbefore’edied,“I’opeyoulikedyourdrink“,sezGungaDin。

  SoI’llmeet’imlateronAttheplacewhere’eisgone——

  Whereit’salwaysdoubledrillandnocanteen;

  ’E’llbesquattin’onthecoalsGivin’drinktopoordamnedsouls,An’I’llgetaswiginhellfromGungaDin!

  Yes,Din!Din!Din!

  YouLazarushian-leatherGungaDin!

  ThoughI’vebeltedyouandflayedyou,Bythelivin’Gawdthatmadeyou,You’reabettermanthanIam,GungaDin!

  1Bringwaterswiftly。

  2MrAtkins’equivalentfor“OBrother。”

  3Hityou。

  4bBequick。

  5Waterskin。

  OONTS

  NorthernIndiaTransportTrain

  Wotmakesthesoldier’s’earttopenk,wotmakes’imtoperspire?

  Itisn’tstandin’uptochargenorlyin’downtofire;

  Butit’severlastin’waitin’onaeverlastin’roadForthecommissariatcamelan’’iscommissariatload。

  Otheoont,1Otheoont,Othecommissariatoont!

  With’issillynecka-bobbin’likeabasketfullo’snakes;

  Wepacks’imlikeanidol,an’yououghtto’ear’imgrunt,An’whenwegets’imloadedup’isblessedgirth-ropebreaks。

  Wotmakestherear-guardswearso’ardwhennightisdrorin’in,An’everynativefollowerisshiverin’for’isskin?

  Itain’tthechansto’beingrushedbyPaythansfromthe’ills,It’sthecommissariatcamelputtin’on’isbloomin’frills!

  Otheoont,Otheoont,Othehairyscaryoont!

  A-trippin’overtent-ropeswhenwe’vegotthenightalarm!

  Wesocks’imwithastretcher-polean’’eads’imoffinfront,An’whenwe’vesaved’isbloomin’life’echawsourbloomin’

  arm。

  The’orse’eknowsaboveabit,thebullock’sbutafool,Theelephant’sagentleman,thebattery-mule’samule;

  Butthecommissariatcam-u-el,whenallissaidan’done,’E’sadevilan’aostrichan’aorphan-childinone。

  Otheoont,Otheoont,OtheGawd-forsakenoont!

  Thelumpy-’umpy’ummin’-birda-singin’where’elies,’E’sblockedthewholedivisionfromtherear-guardtothefront,An’whenwegethimupagain——thebeggargoesan’dies!

  ’E’llgallan’chafean’lamean’fight——’esmellsmostawfulvile;

  ’E’lllose’isselfforeverifyoulet’imstrayamile;

  ’E’sgametograzethe’oledaylongan’’owlthe’olenightthrough,An’when’ecomestogreasyground’esplits’isselfintwo。

  Otheoont,Otheoont,Othefloppin’,droppin’oont!

  When’islonglegsgivefromunderan’’ismeltin’eyeisdim,Thetribesisupbe’indus,andthetribesisoutinfront——

  Itain’tnojamforTommy,butit’skitesan’crowsfor’im。

  Sowhenthecruelmarchisdone,an’whentheroadsisblind,An’whenweseesthecampinfrontan’’earstheshotsbe’ind,Ho!thenwestrips’issaddleoff,andall’iswoesispast:

  ’Ethinksonusthatused’imso,andgetsrevengeatlast。

  Otheoont,Otheoont,Othefloatin’,bloatin’oont!

  Thelatelamentedcamelinthewater-cut’elies;

  Wekeepsamilebe’ind’iman’wekeepsamileinfront,But’egetsintothedrinkin’-casks,andtheno’coursewedies。

  1Camel-ooispronouncedlikeuin“bull。”butbyMrAtkinstorhymewith“front。”

  LOOT

  Ifyou’veeverstoleapheasant-eggbe’indthekeeper’sback,Ifyou’veeversniggedthewashin’fromtheline,Ifyou’veevercrammedaganderinyourbloomin’’aversack,Youwillunderstandthislittlesongo’mine。

  Buttheservicerulesare’ard,an’fromsuchwearedebarred,ForthesamewithEnglishmoralsdoesnotsuit。

  Cornet:Toot!toot!

  W’y,theycallamanarobberif’estuffs’ismarchin’clobberWiththe——

  ChorusLoo!loo!Lulu!lulu!Loo!loo!Loot!loot!loot!

  Owtheloot!

  Bloomin’loot!

  That’sthethingtomaketheboysgitupan’shoot!

  It’sthesamewithdogsan’men,Ifyou’dmake’emcomeagainClap’emforwardwithaLoo!loo!Lulu!Loot!

  ffWhoopee!Tear’im,puppy!Loo!loo!Lulu!Loot!loot!

  loot!

  Ifyou’veknockedaniggeredgewayswhen’e’sthrustin’foryourlife,Youmustleave’imverycarefulwhere’efell;

  An’maythankyourstarsan’gaitersifyoudidn’tfeel’isknifeThatyouain’ttoldofftobury’imaswell。

  Thenthesweatin’TommieswonderastheyspadethebeggarsunderWhylootin’shouldbeenteredasacrime;

  Soifmysongyou’ll’ear,Iwilllearnyouplainan’clear’Owtopayyourselfforfightin’overtime。

  ChorusWiththeloot,。

  Nowrememberwhenyou’re’ackingroundagildedBurmagodThat’iseyesisveryoftenpreciousstones;

  An’ifyoutreataniggertoadoseo’cleanin’-rod’E’sliketoshowyoueverything’eowns。

  When’ewon’tprodoocenomore,poursomewateronthefloorWhereyou’earitanswer’ollowtothebootCornet:Toot!toot!——

  Whenthegroundbeginstosink,shoveyourbaynickdownthechink,An’you’resuretotouchthe——

  ChorusLoo!loo!Lulu!Loot!loot!loot!

  Owtheloot!。

  Whenfrom’ouseto’ouseyou’re’unting,youmustalwaysworkinpairs——

  It’alvesthegain,butsaferyouwillfind——

  Forasinglemangetsbottledonthemtwisty-wistystairs,An’awomancomesandclobs’imfrombe’ind。

  Whenyou’veturned’eminsideout,an’itseemsbeyondadoubtAsifthereweren’tenoughtodustafluteCornet:Toot!toot!——

  Beforeyouslingyour’ook,atthe’ousetopstakealook,Forit’sunderneaththetilesthey’idetheloot。

  ChorusOwtheloot!。

  YoucanmostlysquareaSergintan’aQuartermastertoo,Ifyouonlytaketheproperwaytogo;

  Icouldneverkeepmypickin’s,butI’velearnedyouallIknew——

  An’don’tyouneversayItoldyouso。

  An’nowI’llbidgood-bye,forI’mgettin’ratherdry,An’Iseeanothertunin’uptotootCornet:Toot!toot!——

  So’ere’sgood-lucktothosethatwearstheWidow’sclo’es,An’theDevilsend’emalltheywanto’loot!

  ChorusYes,theloot,Bloomin’loot!

  Inthetunican’themess-tinan’theboot!

  It’sthesamewithdogsan’men,Ifyou’dmake’emcomeagainfffWhoop’emforwardwithaLoo!loo!Lulu!Loot!loot!

  loot!

  Heeya!Sick’im,puppy!Loo!loo!Lulu!Loot!loot!loot!

  ’SNARLEYOW’

  This’appenedinabattletoabatt’ryofthecorpsWhichisfirstamongthewomenan’amazin’firstinwar;

  An’whatthebloomin’battlewasIdon’tremembernow,ButTwo’soff-lead’eansweredtothenameo’Snarleyow。

  DownintheInfantry,nobodycares;

  DownintheCavalry,Colonel’eswears;

  ButdownintheleadwiththewheelattheflogTurnstheboldBombardiertoalittlewhippeddog!

  Theywasmovin’intoaction,theywasneededverysore,Tolearnalittleschoolin’toanativearmycorps,They’adnippedagainstanuphill,theywastuckin’downthebrow,Whenatricky,trundlin’roundshotgivetheknocktoSnarleyow。

  Theycut’imloosean’left’im——’ewasalmosttoreintwo——

  Buthetriedtofollowafterasawell-trained’orseshoulddo;

  ’Ewentan’fouledthelimber,an’theDriver’sBrothersqueals:

  “Pullup,pullupforSnarleyow——’ishead’sbetween’is’eels!”

  TheDriver’umped’isshoulder,forthewheelswasgoin’round,An’thereain’tno“Stop,conductor!”whenabatt’ry’schangin’

  ground;

  Sez’e:“Ibrokethebeggarin,an’verysadIfeels,ButIcouldn’tpullup,notforyou——your’eadbetweenyour’eels!”

  ’E’adn’t’ardlyspoketheword,beforeadroppin’shellAlittlerightthebatt’ryan’betweenthesectionsfell;

  An’whenthesmoke’adclearedaway,beforethelimberwheels,TherelaytheDriver’sBrotherwith’is’eadbetween’is’eels。

  ThenseztheDriver’sBrother,an’’iswordswasveryplain,“ForGawd’sownsakegetoverme,an’putmeouto’pain。”

  Theysaw’iswoundswasmortial,an’theyjudgedthatitwasbest,Sotheytookan’drovethelimberstraightacross’isbackan’chest。

  TheDriver’egivenothin’’ceptalittlecoughin’grunt,But’eswung’is’orses’andsomewhenitcameto“ActionFront!”

  An’ifonewheelwasjuicy,youmaylayyourMondayhead’Twasjuicierfortheniggerswhenthecasebeguntospread。

  Themorilofthisstory,itisplainlytobeseen:

  You’avn’tgotnofamilieswhenservin’oftheQueen——

  You’avn’tgotnobrothers,fathers,sisters,wives,orsons——

  Ifyouwanttowinyourbattlestakean’workyourbloomin’guns!

  DownintheInfantry,nobodycares;

  DownintheCavalry,Colonel’eswears;

  ButdownintheleadwiththewheelattheflogTurnstheboldBombardiertoalittlewhippeddog!

  THEWIDOWATWINDSOR

  ’Aveyou’eardo’theWidowatWindsorWithahairygoldcrownon’er’ead?

  She’asshipsonthefoam——she’asmillionsat’ome,An’shepaysuspoorbeggarsinred。

  Ow,poorbeggarsinred!

  There’s’ernickonthecavalry’orses,There’s’ermarkonthemedicalstores###第17章

  An’’ertroopersyou’llfindwithafairwindbe’indThattakesustovariouswars。

  Poorbeggars!——barbariouswars!

  Then’ere’stotheWidowatWindsor,An’’ere’stothestoresan’theguns,Themenan’the’orseswhatmakesuptheforcesO’MissisVictorier’ssons。

  Poorbeggars!Victorier’ssons!

  Walkwideo’theWidowatWindsor,For’alfo’Creationsheowns:

  We’avebought’erthesamewiththeswordan’theflame,An’we’vesalteditdownwithourbones。

  Poorbeggars!——it’sbluewithourbones!

  Handsoffo’thesonso’theWidow,Handsoffo’thegoodsin’ershop,FortheKingsmustcomedownan’theEmperorsfrownWhentheWidowatWindsorsays“Stop“!

  Poorbeggars!——we’resenttosay“Stop“!

  Then’ere’stotheLodgeo’theWidow,FromthePoletotheTropicsitruns——

  TotheLodgethatwetilewiththerankan’thefile,An’openinformwiththeguns。

  Poorbeggars!——it’salwaystheyguns!

  We’ave’eardo’theWidowatWindsor,It’ssafesttolet’eralone:

  For’ersentrieswestandbytheseaan’thelandWhereverthebuglesareblown。

  Poorbeggars!——an’don’twegetblown!

  Take’oldo’theWingso’theMornin’,An’floproundtheearthtillyou’redead;

  Butyouwon’tgetawayfromthetunethattheyplayTothebloomin’oldragover’ead。

  Poorbeggars!——it’s’otover’ead!

  Then’ere’stothesonso’theWidow,Wherever,’owevertheyroam。

  ’Ere’salltheydesire,an’iftheyrequireAspeedyreturntotheir’ome。

  Poorbeggars!——they’llneversee’ome!

  BELTS

  TherewasarowinSilverStreetthat’sneartoDublinQuay,BetweenanIrishregimentan’Englishcavalree;

  ItstartedatRevellyan’itlastedontilldark:

  ThefirstmandroppedatHarrison’s,thelastforninstthePark。

  Foritwas:——“Belts,belts,belts,an’that’soneforyou!”

  An’itwas“Belts,belts,belts,an’that’sdoneforyou!”

  Obucklean’tongueWasthesongthatwesungFromHarrison’sdowntothePark!

  TherewasarowinSilverStreet——theregimentswasout,Theycalledus“DelhiRebels“,an’weanswered“Threesabout!”

  Thatdrewthemlikeahornet’snest——wemetthemgoodan’large,TheEnglishatthedoublean’theIrishatthecharge。

  Thenitwas:——“Belts。

  TherewasarowinSilverStreet——an’Iwasinittoo;

  Wepassedthetimeo’day,an’thenthebeltswentwhirraru!

  Imisrememberwhatoccurred,butsubsequintthestormAFreeman’sJournalSupplemintwasallmyuniform。

  Oitwas:——“Belts。

  TherewasarowinSilverStreet——theysentthePolisthere,TheEnglishweretoodrunktoknow,theIrishdidn’tcare;

  Butwhentheygrewimpertinintwesimultaneousrose,Tillhalfo’themwasLiffeymudan’halfwastattheredclo’es。

  Foritwas:——“Belts。

  TherewasarowinSilverStreet——itmightha’ragedtillnow,Butsomeonedrewhisside-armclear,an’nobodyknewhow;

  ’TwasHogantookthepointan’dropped;wesawtheredbloodrun:

  An’soweallwasmurderersthatstartedoutinfun。

  Whileitwas:——“Belts。

  TherewasarowinSilverStreet——butthatputdowntheshine,Wideachmanwhisperin’tohisnext:“’Twasneverworko’mine!”

  Wewentawaylikebeatendogs,an’downthestreetweborehim,Thepoordumbcorpsethatcouldn’ttellthebhoysweresorryforhim。

  Whenitwas:——“Belts。

  TherewasarowinSilverStreet——itisn’toveryet,Forhalfofusareunderguardwidpunishmentstoget;

  ’TisallamerricletomeasintheClinkIlie:

  TherewasarowinSilverStreet——begod,Iwonderwhy!

  Butitwas:——“Belts,belts,belts,an’that’soneforyou!”

  An’itwas“Belts,belts,belts,an’that’sdoneforyou!”

  Obucklean’tongueWasthesongthatwesungFromHarrison’sdowntothePark!

  THEYOUNGBRITISHSOLDIER

  Whenthe’arf-maderecruitygoesouttotheEast’Eactslikeababean’’edrinkslikeabeast,An’’ewondersbecause’eisfrequentdeceasedEre’e’sfitfortoserveasasoldier。

  Serve,serve,serveasasoldier,Serve,serve,serveasasoldier,Serve,serve,serveasasoldier,So-oldieroftheQueen!

  Nowallyourecruitieswhat’sdraftedto-day,Youshutupyourrag-boxan’’arktomylay,An’I’llsingyouasoldierasfarasImay:

  Asoldierwhat’sfitforasoldier。

  Fit,fit,fitforasoldier。

  Firstmindyousteerclearo’thegrog-sellers’huts,FortheysellyouFixedBay’netsthatrotsoutyourguts——

  Ay,drinkthat’udeatthelivesteelfromyourbutts——

  An’it’sbadfortheyoungBritishsoldier。

  Bad,bad,badforthesoldier。

  Whenthecholeracomes——asitwillpastadoubt——

  Keepoutofthewetanddon’tgoontheshout,Forthesicknessgetsinastheliquordiesout,An’itcrumplestheyoungBritishsoldier。

  Crum-,crum-,crumplesthesoldier。

  Buttheworsto’yourfoesisthesunover’ead:

  Youmustwearyour’elmetforallthatissaid:

  If’efindsyouuncovered’e’llknockyoudowndead,An’you’lldielikeafoolofasoldier。

  Fool,fool,foolofasoldier。

  Ifyou’recastforfatiguebyasergeantunkind,Don’tgrouselikeawomannorcrackonnorblind;

  Behandyandcivil,andthenyouwillfindThatit’sbeerfortheyoungBritishsoldier。

  Beer,beer,beerforthesoldier。

  Now,ifyoumustmarry,takecaresheisold——

  Atroop-sergeant’swidow’sthenicestI’mtold,Forbeautywon’thelpifyourrationsiscold,Norloveain’tenoughforasoldier。

  ’Nough,’nough,’noughforasoldier。

  Ifthewifeshouldgowrongwithacomrade,beloathToshootwhenyoucatch’em——you’llswing,onmyoath!——

  Make’imtake’erandkeep’er:that’sHellforthemboth,An’you’reshuto’thecurseofasoldier。

  Curse,curse,curseofasoldier。

  Whenfirstunderfirean’you’rewishfultoduck,Don’tlooknortake’eedatthemanthatisstruck,Bethankfulyou’relivin’,andtrusttoyourluckAndmarchtoyourfrontlikeasoldier。

  Front,front,frontlikeasoldier。

  When’arfofyourbulletsflywideintheditch,Don’tcallyourMartiniacross-eyedoldbitch;

  She’shumanasyouare——youtreatherassich,An’she’llfightfortheyoungBritishsoldier。

  Fight,fight,fightforthesoldier。

  Whenshakin’theirbustleslikeladiessofine,Thegunso’theenemywheelintoline,Shootlowatthelimbersan’don’tmindtheshine,Fornoiseneverstartlesthesoldier。

  Start-,start-,startlesthesoldier。

  Ifyourofficer’sdeadandthesergeantslookwhite,Rememberit’sruintorunfromafight:

  Sotakeopenorder,liedown,andsittight,Andwaitforsupportslikeasoldier。

  Wait,wait,waitlikeasoldier。

  Whenyou’rewoundedandleftonAfghanistan’splains,Andthewomencomeouttocutupwhatremains,JestrolltoyourrifleandblowoutyourbrainsAn’gotoyourGawdlikeasoldier。

  Go,go,golikeasoldier,Go,go,golikeasoldier,Go,go,golikeasoldier,So-oldieroftheQueen!

  MANDALAY

  BytheoldMoulmeinPagoda,lookin’eastwardtothesea,There’saBurmagirla-settin’,andIknowshethinkso’me;

  Forthewindisinthepalm-trees,andthetemple-bellstheysay:

  “Comeyouback,youBritishsoldier;comeyoubacktoMandalay!”

  ComeyoubacktoMandalay,WheretheoldFlotillalay:

  Can’tyou’eartheirpaddleschunkin’fromRangoontoMandalay?

  OntheroadtoMandalay,Wheretheflyin’-fishesplay,An’thedawncomesuplikethunderouterChina’crosttheBay!

  ’Erpetticoatwasyalleran’’erlittlecapwasgreen,An’’ernamewasSupi-yaw-lat——jes’thesameasTheebaw’sQueen,An’Iseedherfirsta-smokin’ofawhackin’whitecheroot,An’a-wastin’Christiankissesonan’eathenidol’sfoot:

  Bloomin’idolmadeo’mud——

  WottheycalledtheGreatGawdBudd——

  PluckylotshecaredforidolswhenIkissed’erwhereshestud!

  OntheroadtoMandalay。

  Whenthemistwasontherice-fieldsan’thesunwasdroppin’slow,She’dgit’erlittlebanjoan’she’dsing“Kulla-lo-lo!”

  With’erarmuponmyshoulderan’’ercheekagin’mycheekWeuseterwatchthesteamersan’thehathispilin’teak。

  Elephintsa-pilin’teakInthesludgy,squdgycreek,Wherethesilence’ungthat’eavyyouwas’arfafraidtospeak!

  OntheroadtoMandalay。

  Butthat’sallshovebe’indme——longagoan’furaway,An’thereain’tno’bussesrunnin’fromtheBanktoMandalay;

  An’I’mlearnin’’ereinLondonwhattheten-yearsoldiertells:

  “Ifyou’ve’eardtheEasta-callin’,youwon’tnever’eednaughtelse。”

  No!youwon’t’eednothin’elseButthemspicygarlicsmells,An’thesunshinean’thepalm-treesan’thetinklytemple-bells;

  OntheroadtoMandalay。

  Iamsicko’wastin’leatheronthesegrittypavin’-stones,An’theblastedHenglishdrizzlewakesthefeverinmybones;

  Tho’Iwalkswithfifty’ousemaidsouterChelseatotheStrand,An’theytalksaloto’lovin’,butwotdotheyunderstand?

  Beefyfacean’grubby’and——

  Law!wotdotheyunderstand?

  I’veaneater,sweetermaideninacleaner,greenerland!

  OntheroadtoMandalay。

  ShipmesomewhereseastofSuez,wherethebestisliketheworst,Wheretherearen’tnoTenCommandmentsan’amancanraiseathirst;

  Forthetemple-bellsarecallin’,an’it’stherethatIwouldbe——

  BytheoldMoulmeinPagoda,lookinglazyatthesea;

  OntheroadtoMandalay,WheretheoldFlotillalay,WithoursickbeneaththeawningswhenwewenttoMandalay!

  OntheroadtoMandalay,Wheretheflyin’-fishesplay,An’thedawncomesuplikethunderouterChina’crosttheBay!

  TROOPIN’

  OurArmyintheEast

  Troopin’,troopin’,troopin’tothesea:

  ’Ere’sSeptembercomeagain——thesix-yearmenarefree。

  Oleavethedeadbe’indus,fortheycannotcomeawayTowheretheship’sa-coalin’upthattakesus’ometo-day。

  We’regoin’’ome,we’regoin’’ome,Ourshipisattheshore,An’youmustpackyour’aversack,Forwewon’tcomebacknomore。

  Ho,don’tyougrieveforme,MylovelyMary-Ann,ForI’llmarryyouyitonafourp’nybitAsatime-expiredman。

  TheMalabar’sin’arbourwiththeJumnerat’ertail,An’thetime-expired’swaitin’of’isordersfortosail。

  Ho!thewearywaitin’whenonKhyber’illswelay,Butthetime-expired’swaitin’of’isorders’ometo-day。

  They’llturnusoutatPortsmouthwharfincoldan’wetan’rain,Allwearin’Injiancottonkit,butwewillnotcomplain;

  They’llkillusofpneumonia——forthat’stheirlittleway——

  Butdamnthechillsandfever,men,we’regoin’’ometo-day!

  Troopin’,troopin’,winter’sroundagain!

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