第39章
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  Theletterofacceptancewastobewrittenthatnight,afterwhichhisdeparturefromHintockwouldbeirrevocable。Butcouldhegoaway,rememberingwhathadjustpassed?Thetrees,thehills,theleaves,thegrass——eachhadbeenendowedandquickenedwithasubtlecharmsincehehaddiscoveredthepersonandhistory,and,aboveall,moodoftheirowner。Therewaseverytemporalreasonforleaving;itwouldbeenteringagainintoaworldwhichhehadonlyquittedinapassionforisolation,inducedbyafitofAchilleanmoodinessafteranimaginedslight。Hiswifeherselfsawtheawkwardnessoftheirpositionhere,andcheerfullywelcomedthepurposedchange,towardswhicheverystephadbeentakenbutthelast。Butcouldhefinditinhisheart——ashefounditclearlyenoughinhisconscience——togoaway?

  Hedrewatroubledbreath,andwentin-doors。Hereherapidlypennedaletter,whereinhewithdrewonceforallfromthetreatyfortheBudmouthpractice。AsthepostmanhadalreadyleftLittleHintockforthatnight,hesentoneofMelbury’smentointerceptamail-cartonanotherturnpike-road,andsogottheletteroff。

  Themanreturned,metFitzpiersinthelane,andtoldhimthethingwasdone。Fitzpierswentbacktohishousemusing。Whyhadhecarriedoutthisimpulse——takensuchwildtroubletoeffectaprobableinjurytohisownandhisyoungwife’sprospects?Hismotivewasfantastic,glowing,shapelessasthefierysceneryaboutthewesternsky。Mrs。Charmondcouldovertlybenothingmoretohimthanapatientnow,andtohiswife,attheoutside,apatron。Intheunattachedbachelordaysofhisfirstsojourningherehowhighlyproperanemotionalreasonforlingeringonwouldhaveappearedtotroublesomedubiousness。Matrimonialambitionissuchanhonorablething。

  “MyfatherhastoldmethatyouhavesentoffoneofthemenwithalatelettertoBudmouth。”criedGrace,comingoutvivaciouslytomeethimunderthedeclininglightofthesky,whereinhung,solitary,thefoldingstar。“Isaidatoncethatyouhadfinallyagreedtopaythepremiumtheyask,andthatthetediousquestionhadbeensettled。Whendowego,Edgar?”

  “Ihavealteredmymind。”saidhe。“Theywanttoomuch——sevenhundredandfiftyistoolargeasum——andinshort,Ihavedeclinedtogofurther。Wemustwaitforanotheropportunity。I

  fearIamnotagoodbusiness-man。”Hespokethelastwordswithamomentaryfalteringatthegreatfoolishnessofhisact;for,ashelookedinherfairandhonorableface,hisheartreproachedhimforwhathehaddone。

  Hermannerthateveningshowedherdisappointment。Personallyshelikedthehomeofherchildhoodmuch,andshewasnotambitious。

  Butherhusbandhadseemedsodissatisfiedwiththecircumstanceshereaboutsincetheirmarriagethatshehadsincerelyhopedtogoforhissake。

  ItwastwoorthreedaysbeforehevisitedMrs。Charmondagain。

  Themorninghadbeenwindy,andlittleshowershadsowedthemselveslikegrainagainstthewallsandwindow-panesoftheHintockcottages。Hewentonfootacrossthewilderrecessesofthepark,whereslimystreamsofgreenmoisture,exudingfromdecayedholescausedbyoldamputations,randownthebarkoftheoaksandelms,therindbelowbeingcoatedwithalichenouswashasgreenasemerald。Theywerestout-trunkedtrees,thatneverrockedtheirstemsinthefiercestgale,respondingtoitentirelybycrookingtheirlimbs。Wrinkledlikeanoldcrone’sface,andantleredwithdeadbranchesthatroseabovethefoliageoftheirsummits,theywereneverthelessstillgreen——thoughyellowhadinvadedtheleavesofothertrees。

  Shewasinalittleboudoirorwriting-roomonthefirstfloor,andFitzpierswasmuchsurprisedtofindthatthewindow-curtainswereclosedandared-shadedlampandcandlesburning,thoughout-

  of-doorsitwasbroaddaylight。Moreover,alargefirewasburninginthegrate,thoughitwasnotcold。

  “Whatdoesitallmean?”heasked。

  Shesatinaneasy-chair,herfacebeingturnedaway。“Oh。”shemurmured,“itisbecausetheworldissodrearyoutside。Sorrowandbitternessinthesky,andfloodsofagonizedtearsbeatingagainstthepanes。Ilayawakelastnight,andIcouldhearthescrapeofsnailscreepingupthewindow-glass;itwassosad!MyeyesweresoheavythismorningthatIcouldhaveweptmylifeaway。Icannotbearyoutoseemyface;Ikeepitawayfromyoupurposely。Oh!whywerewegivenhungryheartsandwilddesiresifwehavetoliveinaworldlikethis?WhyshouldDeathonlylendwhatLifeiscompelledtoborrow——rest?Answerthat,Dr。

  Fitzpiers。”

  “Youmusteatofasecondtreeofknowledgebeforeyoucandoit,FeliceCharmond。”

  “Then,whenmyemotionshaveexhaustedthemselves,Ibecomefulloffears,tillIthinkIshalldieforveryfear。Theterribleinsistenciesofsociety——howseveretheyare,andcoldandinexorable——ghastlytowardsthosewhoaremadeofwaxandnotofstone。Oh,Iamafraidofthem;astabforthiserror,andastabforthat——correctivesandregulationsframedthatsocietymaytendtoperfection——anendwhichIdon’tcareforintheleast。Yetforthis,allIdocareforhastobestuntedandstarved。”

  Fitzpiershadseatedhimselfnearher。“Whatsetsyouinthismournfulmood?”heasked,gently。Inrealityheknewthatitwastheresultofalossoftonefromstayingin-doorssomuch,buthedidnotsayso。

  “Myreflections。Doctor,youmustnotcomehereanymore。Theybegintothinkitafarcealready。Isayyoumustcomenomore。

  There——don’tbeangrywithme;“andshejumpedup,pressedhishand,andlookedanxiouslyathim。“Itisnecessary。Itisbestforbothyouandme。”

  “But。”saidFitzpiers,gloomily,“whathavewedone?”

  “Done——wehavedonenothing。Perhapswehavethoughtthemore。

  However,itisallvexation。IamgoingawaytoMiddletonAbbey,nearShottsford,wherearelativeofmylatehusbandlives,whoisconfinedtoherbed。TheengagementwasmadeinLondon,andI

  can’tgetoutofit。PerhapsitisforthebestthatIgotheretillallthisispast。Whenareyougoingtoenteronyournewpractice,andleaveHintockbehindforever,withyourprettywifeonyourarm?”

  “Ihaverefusedtheopportunity。Ilovethisplacetoowelltodepart。”

  “YouHAVE?”shesaid,regardinghimwithwilduncertainty。

  “Whydoyouruinyourselfinthatway?GreatHeaven,whathaveI

  done!”

  “Nothing。Besides,youaregoingaway。”

  “Ohyes;butonlytoMiddletonAbbeyforamonthortwo。YetperhapsIshallgainstrengththere——particularlystrengthofmind——Irequireit。AndwhenIcomebackIshallbeanewwoman;

  andyoucancomeandseemesafelythen,andbringyourwifewithyou,andwe’llbefriends——sheandI。Oh,howthisshuttingupofone’sselfdoesleadtoindulgenceinidlesentiments。Ishallnotwishyoutogiveyourattendancetomeafterto-day。ButIamgladthatyouarenotgoingaway——ifyourremainingdoesnotinjureyourprospectsatall。”

  Assoonashehadlefttheroomthemildfriendlinessshehadpreservedinhertoneatparting,theplayfulsadnesswithwhichshehadconversedwithhim,equallydepartedfromher。Shebecameasheavyaslead——justasshehadbeenbeforehearrived。Herwholebeingseemedtodissolveinasadpowerlessnesstodoanything,andthesenseofitmadeherlipstremulousandherclosedeyeswet。Hisfootstepsagainstartledher,andsheturnedround。

  “Ireturnedforamomenttotellyouthattheeveningisgoingtobefine。Thesunisshining;sodoopenyourcurtainsandputoutthoselights。ShallIdoitforyou?”

  “Please——ifyoudon’tmind。”

  Hedrewbackthewindow-curtains,whereupontheredglowofthelampandthetwocandle-flamesbecamealmostinvisiblewiththefloodoflateautumnsunlightthatpouredin。“ShallIcomeroundtoyou?”heasked,herbackbeingtowardshim。

  “No。”shereplied。

  “Whynot?”

  “BecauseIamcrying,andIdon’twanttoseeyou。”

  Hestoodamomentirresolute,andregrettedthathehadkilledtherosy,passionatelamplightbyopeningthecurtainsandlettingingarishday。

  “ThenIamgoing。”hesaid。

  “Verywell。”sheanswered,stretchingonehandroundtohim,andpattinghereyeswithahandkerchiefheldintheother。

  “ShallIwritealinetoyouat——“

  “No,no。”Agentlereasonablenesscameintohertoneassheadded,“Itmustnotbe,youknow。Itwon’tdo。”

  “Verywell。Good-by。”Thenextmomenthewasgone。

  Intheevening,withlistlessadroitness,sheencouragedthemaidwhodressedherfordinnertospeakofDr。Fitzpiers’smarriage。

  “Mrs。FitzpierswasoncesupposedtofavorMr。Winterborne。”saidtheyoungwoman。

  “Andwhydidn’tshemarryhim?”saidMrs。Charmond。

  “Because,yousee,ma’am,helosthishouses。”

  “Losthishouses?Howcamehetodothat?”

  “Thehouseswereheldonlives,andthelivesdropped,andyouragentwouldn’trenewthem,thoughitissaidthatMr。Winterbornehadaverygoodclaim。That’sasI’veheardit,ma’am,anditwasthroughitthatthematchwasbrokeoff。”

  Beingjustthendistractedbyadozenemotions,Mrs。Charmondsunkintoamoodofdismalself-reproach。“Inrefusingthatpoormanhisreasonablerequest。”shesaidtoherself,“Iforedoomedmyrejuvenatedgirlhood’sromance。Whowouldhavethoughtsuchabusinessmattercouldhavenettledmyownheartlikethis?Nowforawinterofregretsandagoniesanduselesswishes,tillIforgethiminthespring。Oh!IamgladIamgoingaway。”

  Sheleftherchamberandwentdowntodinewithasigh。Onthestairsshestoodoppositethelargewindowforamoment,andlookedoutuponthelawn。Itwasnotyetquitedark。Half-wayupthesteepgreenslopeconfrontingherstoodoldTimothyTangs,whowasshorteninghiswayhomewardbyclamberingherewheretherewasnoroad,andinoppositiontoexpressordersthatnopathwastobemadethere。Tangshadmomentarilystoppedtotakeapinchofsnuff;butobservingMrs。Charmondgazingathim,hehastenedtogetoverthetopoutofhail。Hisprecipitancymadehimmisshisfooting,andherolledlikeabarreltothebottom,hissnuffboxrollinginfrontofhim。

  Herindefinite,idle,impossiblepassionforFitzpiers;herconstitutionalcloudofmisery;thesorrowfuldropsthatstillhunguponhereyelashes,allmadewayfortheincursivemoodstartedbythespectacle。Sheburstintoanimmoderatefitoflaughter,herverygloomoftheprevioushourseemingtorenderitthemoreuncontrollable。Ithadnotdiedoutofherwhenshereachedthedining-room;andevenhere,beforetheservants,hershoulderssuddenlyshookasthescenereturneduponher;andthetearsofherhilaritymingledwiththeremnantsofthoseengenderedbyhergrief。

  Sheresolvedtobesadnomore。Shedranktwoglassesofchampagne,andalittlemorestillafterthose,andamusedherselfintheeveningwithsinginglittleamatorysongs。

  “ImustdosomethingforthatpoormanWinterborne,however。”shesaid。

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