Leslieshookherhead。
\"Notjustnow,thankyou,Anne。Idon’tfeellikehavinganotherdogyet。Idon’tseemtohaveanyaffectionleftforanother。Perhaps——intime——I’llletyougivemeone。Ireallyneedoneasakindofprotection。ButtherewassomethingalmosthumanaboutCarlo——itwouldn’tbeDECENTtofillhisplacetoohurriedly,dearoldfellow。\"
AnnewenttoAvonleaaweekbeforeChristmasandstayeduntilaftertheholidays。Gilbertcameupforher,andtherewasagladNewYearcelebrationatGreenGables,whenBarrysandBlythesandWrightsassembledtodevouradinnerwhichhadcostMrs。RachelandMarillamuchcarefulthoughtandpreparation。WhentheywentbacktoFourWindsthelittlehousewasalmostdriftedover,forthethirdstormofawinterthatwastoprovephenomenallystormyhadwhirleduptheharborandheapedhugesnowmountainsabouteverythingitencountered。ButCaptainJimhadshovelledoutdoorsandpaths,andMissCorneliahadcomedownandkindledthehearth-fire。
\"It’sgoodtoseeyouback,Anne,dearie!Butdidyoueverseesuchdrifts?Youcan’tseetheMooreplaceatallunlessyougoupstairs。Leslie’llbesogladyou’reback。She’salmostburiedaliveoverthere。
FortunatelyDickcanshovelsnow,andthinksit’sgreatfun。Susansentmewordtotellyoushewouldbeonhandtomorrow。Whereareyouofftonow,Captain?\"
\"IreckonI’llploughuptotheGlenandsitabitwitholdMartinStrong。He’snotfarfromhisendandhe’slonesome。Hehasn’tmanyfriends——beentoobusyallhislifetomakeany。He’smadeheapsofmoney,though。\"
\"Well,hethoughtthatsincehecouldn’tserveGodandMammonhe’dbettersticktoMammon,\"saidMissCorneliacrisply。\"Soheshouldn’tcomplainifhedoesn’tfindMammonverygoodcompanynow。\"
CaptainJimwentout,butrememberedsomethingintheyardandturnedbackforamoment。
\"I’daletterfromMr。Ford,MistressBlythe,andhesaysthelife-bookisacceptedandisgoingtobepublishednextfall。IfeltfairupliftedwhenIgotthenews。TothinkthatI’mtoseeitinprintatlast。\"
\"Thatmaniscleancrazyonthesubjectofhislife-book,\"saidMissCorneliacompassionately。\"Formypart,Ithinkthere’sfartoomanybooksintheworldnow。\"
CHAPTER29
GILBERTANDANNEDISAGREE
GilbertlaiddowntheponderousmedicaltomeoverwhichhehadbeenporinguntiltheincreasingduskoftheMarcheveningmadehimdesist。Heleanedbackinhischairandgazedmeditativelyoutofthewindow。Itwasearlyspring——probablytheugliesttimeoftheyear。
Noteventhesunsetcouldredeemthedead,soddenlandscapeandrottenblackharboriceuponwhichhelooked。Nosignoflifewasvisible,saveabigblackcrowwinginghissolitarywayacrossaleadenfield。
Gilbertspeculatedidlyconcerningthatcrow。Washeafamilycrow,withablackbutcomelycrowwifeawaitinghiminthewoodsbeyondtheGlen?Orwasheaglossyyoungbuckofacrowoncourtingthoughtsintent?Orwasheacynicalbachelorcrow,believingthathetravelsthefastestwhotravelsalone?
Whateverhewas,hesoondisappearedincongenialgloomandGilbertturnedtothecheerierviewindoors。
Thefirelightflickeredfrompointtopoint,gleamingonthewhiteandgreencoatsofGogandMagog,onthesleek,brownheadofthebeautifulsetterbaskingontherug,onthepictureframesonthewalls,onthevasefulofdaffodilsfromthewindowgarden,onAnneherself,sittingbyherlittletable,withhersewingbesideherandherhandsclaspedoverherkneewhileshetracedoutpicturesinthefire——CastlesinSpainwhoseairyturretspiercedmoonlitcloudandsunsetbar-shipssailingfromtheHavenofGoodHopesstraighttoFourWindsHarborwithpreciousburthen。ForAnnewasagainadreamerofdreams,albeitagrimshapeoffearwentwithhernightanddaytoshadowanddarkenhervisions。
Gilbertwasaccustomedtorefertohimselfas\"anoldmarriedman。\"ButhestilllookeduponAnnewiththeincredulouseyesofalover。Hecouldn’twhollybelieveyetthatshewasreallyhis。ItMIGHTbeonlyadreamafterall,partandparcelofthismagichouseofdreams。Hissoulstillwentontip-toebeforeher,lestthecharmbeshatteredandthedreamdispelled。
\"Anne,\"hesaidslowly,\"lendmeyourears。Iwanttotalkwithyouaboutsomething。\"
Annelookedacrossathimthroughthefire-litgloom。
\"Whatisit?\"sheaskedgaily。\"Youlookfearfullysolemn,Gilbert。Ireallyhaven’tdoneanythingnaughtytoday。AskSusan。\"
\"It’snotofyou——orourselves——Iwanttotalk。It’saboutDickMoore。\"
\"DickMoore?\"echoedAnne,sittingupalertly。\"Why,whatintheworldhaveyoutosayaboutDickMoore?\"
\"I’vebeenthinkingagreatdealabouthimlately。DoyourememberthattimelastsummerItreatedhimforthosecarbunclesonhisneck?\"
\"Yes——yes。\"
\"Itooktheopportunitytoexaminethescarsonhisheadthoroughly。I’vealwaysthoughtDickwasaveryinterestingcasefromamedicalpointofview。LatelyI’vebeenstudyingthehistoryoftrephiningandthecaseswhereithasbeenemployed。Anne,IhavecometotheconclusionthatifDickMooreweretakentoagoodhospitalandtheoperationoftrephiningperformedonseveralplacesinhisskull,hismemoryandfacultiesmightberestored。\"
\"Gilbert!\"Anne’svoicewasfullofprotest。\"Surelyyoudon’tmeanit!\"
\"Ido,indeed。AndIhavedecidedthatitismydutytobroachthesubjecttoLeslie。\"
\"GilbertBlythe,youshallNOTdoanysuchthing,\"
criedAnnevehemently。\"Oh,Gilbert,youwon’t——youwon’t。Youcouldn’tbesocruel。Promisemeyouwon’t。\"
\"Why,Anne-girl,Ididn’tsupposeyouwouldtakeitlikethis。Bereasonable——\"
\"Iwon’tbereasonable——Ican’tbereasonable——IAM
reasonable。Itisyouwhoareunreasonable。Gilbert,haveyoueveroncethoughtwhatitwouldmeanforLeslieifDickMooreweretoberestoredtohisrightsenses?Juststopandthink!She’sunhappyenoughnow;butlifeasDick’snurseandattendantisathousandtimeseasierforherthanlifeasDick’swife。
Iknow——IKNOW!It’sunthinkable。Don’tyoumeddlewiththematter。Leavewellenoughalone。\"
\"IHAVEthoughtoverthataspectofthecasethoroughly,Anne。ButIbelievethatadoctorisboundtosetthesanctityofapatient’smindandbodyaboveallotherconsiderations,nomatterwhattheconsequencesmaybe。Ibelieveithisdutytoendeavortorestorehealthandsanity,ifthereisanyhopewhateverofit。\"
\"ButDickisn’tyourpatientinthatrespect,\"criedAnne,takinganothertack。\"IfLesliehadaskedyouifanythingcouldbedoneforhim,THENitmightbeyourdutytotellherwhatyoureallythought。Butyou’venorighttomeddle。\"
\"Idon’tcallitmeddling。UncleDavetoldLeslietwelveyearsagothatnothingcouldbedoneforDick。
Shebelievesthat,ofcourse。\"
\"AndwhydidUncleDavetellherthat,ifitwasn’ttrue?\"criedAnne,triumphantly。\"Doesn’theknowasmuchaboutitasyou?\"
\"Ithinknot——thoughitmaysoundconceitedandpresumptuoustosayit。AndyouknowaswellasI
thatheisratherprejudicedagainstwhathecalls`thesenew-fanglednotionsofcuttingandcarving。’
He’sevenopposedtooperatingforappendicitis。\"
\"He’sright,\"exclaimedAnne,withacompletechangeoffront。`Ibelievemyselfthatyoumoderndoctorsareentirelytoofondofmakingexperimentswithhumanfleshandblood。\"
\"RhodaAllonbywouldnotbealivingwomantodayifI
hadbeenafraidofmakingacertainexperiment,\"
arguedGilbert。\"Itooktherisk——andsavedherlife。\"
\"I’msickandtiredofhearingaboutRhodaAllonby,\"
criedAnne——mostunjustly,forGilberthadnevermentionedMrs。Allonby’snamesincethedayhehadtoldAnneofhissuccessinregardtoher。Andhecouldnotbeblamedforotherpeople’sdiscussionofit。
Gilbertfeltratherhurt。
\"Ihadnotexpectedyoutolookatthematterasyoudo,Anne,\"hesaidalittlestiffly,gettingupandmovingtowardstheofficedoor。Itwastheirfirstapproachtoaquarrel。
ButAnneflewafterhimanddraggedhimback。
\"Now,Gilbert,youarenot`goingoffmad。’SitdownhereandI’llapologisebee-YEW-ti-fully,Ishouldn’thavesaidthat。But——oh,ifyouknew——\"
Annecheckedherselfjustintime。ShehadbeenontheveryvergeofbetrayingLeslie’ssecret。
\"Knewwhatawomanfeelsaboutit,\"sheconcludedlamely。
\"IthinkIdoknow。I’velookedatthematterfromeverypointofview——andI’vebeendriventotheconclusionthatitismydutytotellLesliethatI
believeitispossiblethatDickcanberestoredtohimself;theremyresponsibilityends。Itwillbeforhertodecidewhatshewilldo。\"
\"Idon’tthinkyou’veanyrighttoputsucharesponsibilityonher。Shehasenoughtobear。Sheispoor——howcouldsheaffordsuchanoperation?\"
\"Thatisforhertodecide,\"persistedGilbertstubbornly。
\"YousayyouthinkthatDickcanbecured。ButareyouSUREofit?\"
\"Certainlynot。Nobodycouldbesureofsuchathing。
Theremayhavebeenlesionsofthebrainitself,theeffectofwhichcanneverberemoved。Butif,asI
believe,hislossofmemoryandotherfacultiesisduemerelytothepressureonthebraincentersofcertaindepressedareasofbone,thenhecanbecured。\"
\"Butit’sonlyapossibility!\"insistedAnne。\"Now,supposeyoutellLeslieandshedecidestohavetheoperation。Itwillcostagreatdeal。Shewillhavetoborrowthemoney,orsellherlittleproperty。AndsupposetheoperationisafailureandDickremainsthesame。
Howwillshebeabletopaybackthemoneysheborrows,ormakealivingforherselfandthatbighelplesscreatureifshesellsthefarm?\"
\"Oh,Iknow——Iknow。Butitismydutytotellher。I
can’tgetawayfromthatconviction。\"
\"Oh,IknowtheBlythestubbornness,\"groanedAnne。
\"Butdon’tdothissolelyonyourownresponsibility。
ConsultDoctorDave。\"
\"IHAVEdoneso,\"saidGilbertreluctantly。
\"Andwhatdidhesay?\"
\"Inbrief——asyousay——leavewellenoughalone。Apartfromhisprejudiceagainstnew-fangledsurgery,I’mafraidhelooksatthecasefromyourpointofview——don’tdoit,forLeslie’ssake。\"
\"Therenow,\"criedAnnetriumphantly。\"Idothink,Gilbert,thatyououghttoabidebythejudgmentofamannearlyeighty,whohasseenagreatdealandsavedscoresofliveshimself——surelyhisopinionoughttoweighmorethanamereboy’s。\"
\"Thankyou。\"
\"Don’tlaugh。It’stooserious。\"
\"That’sjustmypoint。ItISserious。Hereisamanwhoisahelplessburden。Hemayberestoredtoreasonandusefulness——\"
\"Hewassoveryusefulbefore,\"interjectedAnnewitheringly。
\"Hemaybegivenachancetomakegoodandredeemthepast。Hiswifedoesn’tknowthis。Ido。Itisthereforemydutytotellherthatthereissuchapossibility。That,boileddown,ismydecision。\"
\"Don’tsay`decision’yet,Gilbert。Consultsomebodyelse。AskCaptainJimwhathethinksaboutit。\"
\"Verywell。ButI’llnotpromisetoabidebyhisopinion,Anne。
Thisissomethingamanmustdecideforhimself。MyconsciencewouldneverbeeasyifIkeptsilentonthesubject。\"
\"Oh,yourconscience!\"moanedAnne。\"IsupposethatUncleDavehasaconsciencetoo,hasn’the?\"
\"Yes。ButIamnotthekeeperofhisconscience。
Come,Anne,ifthisaffairdidnotconcernLeslie——ifitwereapurelyabstractcase,youwouldagreewithme,——youknowyouwould。\"
\"Iwouldn’t,\"vowedAnne,tryingtobelieveitherself。\"Oh,youcanargueallnight,Gilbert,butyouwon’tconvinceme。JustyouaskMissCorneliawhatshethinksofit。\"
\"You’redriventothelastditch,Anne,whenyoubringupMissCorneliaasareinforcement。Shewillsay,`Justlikeaman,’andragefuriously。Nomatter。
ThisisnoaffairforMissCorneliatosettle。Lesliealonemustdecideit。\"
\"Youknowverywellhowshewilldecideit,\"saidAnne,almostintears。\"Shehasidealsofduty,too。
Idon’tseehowyoucantakesucharesponsibilityonyourshoulders。_I_couldn’t。\"
\"`BecauserightisrighttofollowrightWerewisdominthescornofconsequence,’\"
quotedGilbert。
\"Oh,youthinkacoupletofpoetryaconvincingargument!\"scoffedAnne。\"Thatissolikeaman。\"
Andthenshelaughedinspiteofherself。ItsoundedsolikeanechoofMissCornelia。
\"Well,ifyouwon’tacceptTennysonasanauthority,perhapsyouwillbelievethewordsofaGreaterthanhe,\"saidGilbertseriously。\"`Yeshallknowthetruthandthetruthshallmakeyoufree。’Ibelievethat,Anne,withallmyheart。It’sthegreatestandgrandestverseintheBible——orinanyliterature——andtheTRUEST,iftherearecomparativedegreesoftrueness。Andit’sthefirstdutyofamantotellthetruth,asheseesitandbelievesit。\"
\"Inthiscasethetruthwon’tmakepoorLesliefree,\"
sighedAnne。\"Itwillprobablyendinstillmorebitterbondageforher。Oh,Gilbert,ICAN’Tthinkyouareright。\"
CHAPTER30
LESLIEDECIDES
AsuddenoutbreakofavirulenttypeofinfluenzaattheGlenanddownatthefishingvillagekeptGilbertsobusyforthenextfortnightthathehadnotimetopaythepromisedvisittoCaptainJim。AnnehopedagainsthopethathehadabandonedtheideaaboutDickMoore,and,resolvingtoletsleepingdogslie,shesaidnomoreaboutthesubject。Butshethoughtofitincessantly。
\"IwonderifitwouldberightformetotellhimthatLesliecaresforOwen,\"shethought。\"Hewouldneverlethersuspectthatheknew,soherpridewouldnotsuffer,anditMIGHTconvincehimthatheshouldletDickMoorealone。ShallI——shallI?No,afterall,I
cannot。Apromiseissacred,andI’venorighttobetrayLeslie’ssecret。Butoh,IneverfeltsoworriedoveranythinginmylifeasIdooverthis。
It’sspoilingthespring——it’sspoilingeverything。\"
OneeveningGilbertabruptlyproposedthattheygodownandseeCaptainJim。WithasinkingheartAnneagreed,andtheysetforth。TwoweeksofkindsunshinehadwroughtamiracleinthebleaklandscapeoverwhichGilbert’scrowhadflown。Thehillsandfieldsweredryandbrownandwarm,readytobreakintobudandblossom;theharborwaslaughter-shakenagain;thelongharborroadwaslikeagleamingredribbon;downonthedunesacrowdofboys,whowereoutsmeltfishing,wereburningthethick,drysandhillgrassoftheprecedingsummer。Theflamessweptoverthedunesrosily,flingingtheircardinalbannersagainstthedarkgulfbeyond,andilluminatingthechannelandthefishingvillage。ItwasapicturesquescenewhichwouldatothertimeshavedelightedAnne’seyes;butshewasnotenjoyingthiswalk。NeitherwasGilbert。Theirusualgood-comradeshipandJosephiancommunityoftasteandviewpointweresadlylacking。Anne’sdisapprovalofthewholeprojectshoweditselfinthehaughtyupliftofherheadandthestudiedpolitenessofherremarks。
Gilbert’smouthwassetinalltheBlytheobstinacy,buthiseyesweretroubled。Hemeanttodowhathebelievedtobehisduty;buttobeatoutswithAnnewasahighpricetopay。Altogether,bothweregladwhentheyreachedthelight——andremorsefulthattheyshouldbeglad。
CaptainJimputawaythefishingnetuponwhichhewasworking,andwelcomedthemjoyfully。InthesearchinglightofthespringeveninghelookedolderthanAnnehadeverseenhim。Hishairhadgrownmuchgrayer,andthestrongoldhandshookalittle。Buthisblueeyeswereclearandsteady,andthestaunchsoullookedoutthroughthemgallantandunafraid。
CaptainJimlistenedinamazedsilencewhileGilbertsaidwhathehadcometosay。Anne,whoknewhowtheoldmanworshippedLeslie,feltquitesurethathewouldsidewithher,althoughshehadnotmuchhopethatthiswouldinfluenceGilbert。ShewasthereforesurprisedbeyondmeasurewhenCaptainJim,slowlyandsorrowfully,butunhesitatingly,gaveitashisopinionthatLeslieshouldbetold。
\"Oh,CaptainJim,Ididn’tthinkyou’dsaythat,\"sheexclaimedreproachfully。\"Ithoughtyouwouldn’twanttomakemoretroubleforher。\"
CaptainJimshookhishead。
\"Idon’twantto。Iknowhowyoufeelaboutit,MistressBlythe——justasIfeelmeself。Butitain’tourfeelingswehavetosteerbythroughlife——no,no,we’dmakeshipwreckmightyoftenifwedidthat。
There’sonlytheonesafecompassandwe’vegottosetourcoursebythat——whatit’srighttodo。Iagreewiththedoctor。Ifthere’sachanceforDick,Leslieshouldbetoldofit。There’snotwosidestothat,inmyopinion。\"
\"Well,\"saidAnne,givingupindespair,\"waituntilMissCorneliagetsafteryoutwomen。\"
\"Cornelia’llrakeusforeandaft,nodoubt,\"assentedCaptainJim。\"Youwomenarelovelycritters,MistressBlythe,butyou’rejustamiteillogical。You’reahighlyeddicatedladyandCorneliaisn’t,butyou’relikeastwopeaswhenitcomestothat。Idunno’syou’reanytheworseforit。Logicisasortofhard,mercilessthing,Ireckon。Now,I’llbrewacupofteaandwe’lldrinkitandtalkofpleasantthings,jesttocalmourmindsabit。\"
Atleast,CaptainJim’steaandconversationcalmedAnne’smindtosuchanextentthatshedidnotmakeGilbertsuffersoacutelyonthewayhomeasshehaddeliberatelyintendedtodo。Shedidnotrefertotheburningquestionatall,butshechattedamiablyofothermatters,andGilbertunderstoodthathewasforgivenunderprotest。
\"CaptainJimseemsveryfrailandbentthisspring。
Thewinterhasagedhim,\"saidAnnesadly。\"IamafraidthathewillsoonbegoingtoseeklostMargaret。Ican’tbeartothinkofit。\"
\"FourWindswon’tbethesameplacewhenCaptainJim`setsouttosea,’\"agreedGilbert。
Thefollowingeveninghewenttothehouseupthebrook。Annewandereddismallyarounduntilhisreturn。
\"Well,whatdidLesliesay?\"shedemandedwhenhecamein。
\"Verylittle。Ithinkshefeltratherdazed。\"
\"Andisshegoingtohavetheoperation?\"
\"Sheisgoingtothinkitoveranddecideverysoon。\"
Gilbertflunghimselfwearilyintotheeasychairbeforethefire。Helookedtired。IthadnotbeenaneasythingforhimtotellLeslie。Andtheterrorthathadsprungintohereyeswhenthemeaningofwhathetoldhercamehometoherwasnotapleasantthingtoremember。Now,whenthediewascast,hewasbesetwithdoubtsofhisownwisdom。
Annelookedathimremorsefully;thensheslippeddownontherugbesidehimandlaidherglossyredheadonhisarm。
\"Gilbert,I’vebeenratherhatefuloverthis。Iwon’tbeanymore。Pleasejustcallmered-headedandforgiveme。\"
BywhichGilbertunderstoodthat,nomatterwhatcameofit,therewouldbenoI-told-you-so’s。Buthewasnotwhollycomforted。Dutyintheabstractisonething;dutyintheconcreteisquiteanother,especiallywhenthedoerisconfrontedbyawoman’sstrickeneyes。
SomeinstinctmadeAnnekeepawayfromLeslieforthenextthreedays。OnthethirdeveningLesliecamedowntothelittlehouseandtoldGilbertthatshehadmadeuphermind;shewouldtakeDicktoMontrealandhavetheoperation。
Shewasverypaleandseemedtohavewrappedherselfinheroldmantleofaloofness。ButhereyeshadlostthelookwhichhadhauntedGilbert;theywerecoldandbright;andsheproceededtodiscussdetailswithhiminacrisp,business-likeway。Therewereplanstobemadeandmanythingstobethoughtover。WhenLesliehadgottheinformationshewantedshewenthome。Annewantedtowalkpartofthewaywithher。
\"Betternot,\"saidLesliecurtly。\"Today’srainhasmadethegrounddamp。Good-night。\"
\"HaveIlostmyfriend?\"saidAnnewithasigh。\"IftheoperationissuccessfulandDickMoorefindshimselfagainLesliewillretreatintosomeremotefastnessofhersoulwherenoneofuscaneverfindher。\"
\"Perhapsshewillleavehim,\"saidGilbert。
\"Lesliewouldneverdothat,Gilbert。Hersenseofdutyisverystrong。ShetoldmeoncethatherGrandmotherWestalwaysimpresseduponherthefactthatwhensheassumedanyresponsibilityshemustnevershirkit,nomatterwhattheconsequencesmightbe。
Thatisoneofhercardinalrules。Isupposeit’sveryold-fashioned。\"
\"Don’tbebitter,Anne-girl。Youknowyoudon’tthinkitold-fashioned——youknowyouhavetheverysameideaofsacrednessofassumedresponsibilitiesyourself。
Andyouareright。Shirkingresponsibilitiesisthecurseofourmodernlife——thesecretofalltheunrestanddiscontentthatisseethingintheworld。\"
\"Thussaiththepreacher,\"mockedAnne。Butunderthemockeryshefeltthathewasright;andshewasverysickatheartforLeslie。
AweeklaterMissCorneliadescendedlikeanavalancheuponthelittlehouse。GilbertwasawayandAnnewascompelledtobeartheshockoftheimpactalone。
MissCorneliahardlywaitedtogetherhatoffbeforeshebegan。
\"Anne,doyoumeantotellmeit’struewhatI’veheard——thatDr。BlythehastoldLeslieDickcanbecured,andthatsheisgoingtotakehimtoMontrealtohavehimoperatedon?\"
\"Yes,itisquitetrue,MissCornelia,\"saidAnnebravely。
\"Well,it’sinhumancruelty,that’swhatitis,\"saidMissCornelia,violentlyagitated。\"IdidthinkDr。
Blythewasadecentman。Ididn’tthinkhecouldhavebeenguiltyofthis。\"
\"Dr。BlythethoughtitwashisdutytotellLesliethattherewasachanceforDick,\"saidAnnewithspirit,\"and,\"sheadded,loyaltytoGilbertgettingthebetterofher,\"Iagreewithhim。\"
\"Oh,no,youdon’t,dearie,\"saidMissCornelia。\"Nopersonwithanybowelsofcompassioncould。\"
\"CaptainJimdoes。\"
\"Don’tquotethatoldninnytome,\"criedMissCornelia。\"AndIdon’tcarewhoagreeswithhim。
Think——THINKwhatitmeanstothatpoorhunted,harriedgirl。\"
\"WeDOthinkofit。ButGilbertbelievesthatadoctorshouldputthewelfareofapatient’smindandbodybeforeallotherconsiderations。\"
\"That’sjustlikeaman。ButIexpectedbetterthingsofyou,Anne,\"saidMissCornelia,moreinsorrowthaninwrath;thensheproceededtobombardAnnewithpreciselythesameargumentswithwhichthelatterhadattackedGilbert;andAnnevaliantlydefendedherhusbandwiththeweaponshehadusedforhisownprotection。Longwasthefray,butMissCorneliamadeanendatlast。
\"It’saniniquitousshame,\"shedeclared,almostintears。\"That’sjustwhatitis——aniniquitousshame。
Poor,poorLeslie!\"
\"Don’tyouthinkDickshouldbeconsideredalittletoo?\"pleadedAnne。
\"Dick!DickMoore!HE’Shappyenough。He’sabetterbehavedandmorereputablememberofsocietynowthanheeverwasbefore。
Why,hewasadrunkardandperhapsworse。Areyougoingtosethimlooseagaintoroarandtodevour?\"
\"Hemayreform,\"saidpoorAnne,besetbyfoewithoutandtraitorwithin。
\"Reformyourgrandmother!\"retortedMissCornelia。
\"DickMooregottheinjuriesthatlefthimasheisinadrunkenbrawl。HeDESERVEShisfate。Itwassentonhimforapunishment。Idon’tbelievethedoctorhasanybusinesstotamperwiththevisitationsofGod。\"
\"NobodyknowshowDickwashurt,MissCornelia。Itmaynothavebeeninadrunkenbrawlatall。Hemayhavebeenwaylaidandrobbed。\"
\"PigsMAYwhistle,butthey’vepoormouthsforit,\"
saidMissCornelia。\"Well,thegistofwhatyoutellmeisthatthethingissettledandthere’snouseintalking。Ifthat’ssoI’llholdmytongue。Idon’tproposetowearMYteethoutgnawingfiles。WhenathinghastobeIgiveintoit。ButIliketomakemightysurefirstthatitHAStobe。Now,I’lldevoteMYenergiestocomfortingandsustainingLeslie。Andafterall,\"addedMissCornelia,brighteninguphopefully,\"perhapsnothingcanbedoneforDick。\"
CHAPTER31
THETRUTHMAKESFREE
Leslie,havingoncemadeuphermindwhattodo,proceededtodoitwithcharacteristicresolutionandspeed。House-cleaningmustbefinishedwithfirst,whateverissuesoflifeanddeathmightawaitbeyond。
Thegrayhouseupthebrookwasputintoflawlessorderandcleanliness,withMissCornelia’sreadyassistance。
MissCornelia,havingsaidhersaytoAnne,andlaterontoGilbertandCaptainJim——sparingneitherofthem,letitbeassured——neverspokeofthemattertoLeslie。
SheacceptedthefactofDick’soperation,referredtoitwhennecessaryinabusiness-likeway,andignoreditwhenitwasnot。Leslieneverattemptedtodiscussit。Shewasverycoldandquietduringthesebeautifulspringdays。SheseldomvisitedAnne,andthoughshewasinvariablycourteousandfriendly,thatverycourtesywasasanicybarrierbetweenherandthepeopleofthelittlehouse。Theoldjokesandlaughterandchumminessofcommonthingscouldnotreachheroverit。Annerefusedtofeelhurt。SheknewthatLesliewasinthegripofahideousdread——adreadthatwrappedherawayfromalllittleglimpsesofhappinessandhoursofpleasure。Whenonegreatpassionseizespossessionofthesoulallotherfeelingsarecrowdedaside。NeverinallherlifehadLeslieMooreshudderedawayfromthefuturewithmoreintolerableterror。Butshewentforwardasunswervinglyinthepathshehadelectedasthemartyrsofoldwalkedtheirchosenway,knowingtheendofittobethefieryagonyofthestake。
ThefinancialquestionwassettledwithgreatereasethanAnnehadfeared。LeslieborrowedthenecessarymoneyfromCaptainJim,and,atherinsistence,hetookamortgageonthelittlefarm。
\"Sothatisonethingoffthepoorgirl’smind,\"MissCorneliatoldAnne,\"andoffminetoo。Now,ifDickgetswellenoughtoworkagainhe’llbeabletoearnenoughtopaytheinterestonit;andifhedoesn’tI
knowCaptainJim’llmanagesomewaythatLesliewon’thaveto。Hesaidasmuchtome。`I’mgettingold,Cornelia,’hesaid,`andI’venochickorchildofmyown。Lesliewon’ttakeagiftfromalivingman,butmebbeshewillfromadeadone。’SoitwillbeallrightasfarasTHATgoes。Iwisheverythingelsemightbesettledassatisfactorily。AsforthatwretchofaDick,he’sbeenawfultheselastfewdays。Thedevilwasinhim,believeME!LeslieandIcouldn’tgetonwithourworkforthetrickshe’dplay。Hechasedallherducksonedayaroundtheyardtillmostofthemdied。Andnotonethingwouldhedoforus。
Sometimes,youknow,he’llmakehimselfquitehandy,bringinginpailsofwaterandwood。Butthisweekifwesenthimtothewellhe’dtrytoclimbdownintoit。
Ithoughtonce,`Ifyou’donlyshootdowntherehead-firsteverythingwouldbenicelysettled。’\"
\"Oh,MissCornelia!\"
\"Now,youneedn’tMissCorneliame,Anne,dearie。
ANYBODYwouldhavethoughtthesame。IftheMontrealdoctorscanmakearationalcreatureoutofDickMoorethey’rewonders。\"
LeslietookDicktoMontrealearlyinMay。Gilbertwentwithher,tohelpher,andmakethenecessaryarrangementsforher。HecamehomewiththereportthattheMontrealsurgeonwhomtheyhadconsultedagreedwithhimthattherewasagoodchanceofDick’srestoration。
\"Verycomforting,\"wasMissCornelia’ssarcasticcomment。
Anneonlysighed。Lesliehadbeenverydistantattheirparting。
Butshehadpromisedtowrite。TendaysafterGilbert’sreturnthelettercame。LesliewrotethattheoperationhadbeensuccessfullyperformedandthatDickwasmakingagoodrecovery。
\"Whatdoesshemeanby`successfully?’\"askedAnne。
\"DoesshemeanthatDick’smemoryisreallyrestored?\"
\"Notlikely——sinceshesaysnothingofit,\"saidGilbert。\"Sheusestheword`successfully’fromthesurgeon’spointofview。Theoperationhasbeenperformedandfollowedbynormalresults。ButitistoosoontoknowwhetherDick’sfacultieswillbeeventuallyrestored,whollyorinpart。Hismemorywouldnotbelikelytoreturntohimallatonce。Theprocesswillbegradual,ifitoccursatall。Isthatallshesays?\"
\"Yes——there’sherletter。It’sveryshort。Poorgirl,shemustbeunderaterriblestrain。GilbertBlythe,thereareheapsofthingsIlongtosaytoyou,onlyitwouldbemean。\"
\"MissCorneliasaysthemforyou,\"saidGilbertwitharuefulsmile。\"ShecombsmedowneverytimeI
encounterher。Shemakesitplaintomethatsheregardsmeaslittlebetterthanamurderer,andthatshethinksitagreatpitythatDr。Daveeverletmestepintohisshoes。SheeventoldmethattheMethodistdoctorovertheharborwastobepreferredbeforeme。WithMissCorneliatheforceofcondemnationcannofurthergo。\"
\"IfCorneliaBryantwassick,itwouldnotbeDoctorDaveortheMethodistdoctorshewouldsendfor,\"
sniffedSusan。\"Shewouldhaveyououtofyourhard-earnedbedinthemiddleofthenight,doctor,dear,ifshetookaspellofmisery,thatshewould。
Andthenshewouldlikelysayyourbillwaspastallreason。Butdonotmindher,doctor,dear。Ittakesallkindsofpeopletomakeaworld。\"
NofurtherwordcamefromLeslieforsometime。TheMaydayscreptawayinasweetsuccessionandtheshoresofFourWindsHarborgreenedandbloomedandpurpled。OnedayinlateMayGilbertcamehometobemetbySusaninthestableyard。
\"IamafraidsomethinghasupsetMrs。Doctor,doctor,dear,\"shesaidmysteriously。\"Shegotaletterthisafternoonandsincethenshehasjustbeenwalkingroundthegardenandtalkingtoherself。Youknowitisnotgoodforhertobeonherfeetsomuch,doctor,dear。Shedidnotseefittotellmewhathernewswas,andIamnopry,doctor,dear,andneverwas,butitisplainsomethinghasupsether。Anditisnotgoodforhertobeupset。\"
Gilberthurriedratheranxiouslytothegarden。HadanythinghappenedatGreenGables?ButAnne,sittingontherusticseatbythebrook,didnotlooktroubled,thoughshewascertainlymuchexcited。Hereyesweretheirgrayest,andscarletspotsburnedonhercheeks。
\"Whathashappened,Anne?\"
Annegaveaqueerlittlelaugh。
\"Ithinkyou’llhardlybelieveitwhenItellyou,Gilbert。_I_can’tbelieveityet。AsSusansaidtheotherday,`Ifeellikeaflycomingtoliveinthesun——dazed-like。’It’sallsoincredible。I’vereadtheletterascoreoftimesandeverytimeit’sjustthesame——Ican’tbelievemyowneyes。Oh,Gilbert,youwereright——soright。Icanseethatclearlyenoughnow——andI’msoashamedofmyself——andwillyoueverreallyforgiveme?\"
\"Anne,I’llshakeyouifyoudon’tgrowcoherent。
Redmondwouldbeashamedofyou。WHAThashappened?\"
\"Youwon’tbelieveit——youwon’tbelieveit——\"
\"I’mgoingtophoneforUncleDave,\"saidGilbert,pretendingtostartforthehouse。
\"Sitdown,Gilbert。I’lltrytotellyou。I’vehadaletter,andoh,Gilbert,it’sallsoamazing——soincrediblyamazing——weneverthought——notoneofuseverdreamed——\"
\"Isuppose,\"saidGilbert,sittingdownwitharesignedair,\"theonlythingtodoinacaseofthiskindistohavepatienceandgoatthemattercategorically。Whomisyourletterfrom?\"
\"Leslie——and,oh,Gilbert——\"
\"Leslie!Whew!Whathasshetosay?What’sthenewsaboutDick?\"
Anneliftedtheletterandhelditout,calmlydramaticinamoment。
\"ThereisNODick!ThemanwehavethoughtDickMoore——whomeverybodyinFourWindshasbelievedfortwelveyearstobeDickMoore——ishiscousin,GeorgeMoore,ofNovaScotia,who,itseems,alwaysresembledhimverystrikingly。DickMoorediedofyellowfeverthirteenyearsagoinCuba。\"
CHAPTER32
MISSCORNELIADISCUSSESTHEAFFAIR
\"Anddoyoumeantotellme,Anne,dearie,thatDickMoorehasturnedoutnottobeDickMooreatallbutsomebodyelse?IsTHATwhatyouphoneduptometoday?\"
\"Yes,MissCornelia。Itisveryamazing,isn’tit?\"
\"It’s——it’s——justlikeaman,\"saidMissCorneliahelplessly。Shetookoffherhatwithtremblingfingers。ForonceinherlifeMissCorneliawasundeniablystaggered。
\"Ican’tseemtosenseit,Anne,\"shesaid。\"I’veheardyousayit——andIbelieveyou——butIcan’ttakeitin。DickMooreisdead——hasbeendeadalltheseyears——andLeslieisfree?\"
\"Yes。Thetruthhasmadeherfree。GilbertwasrightwhenhesaidthatversewasthegrandestintheBible。\"
\"Tellmeeverything,Anne,dearie。SinceIgotyourphoneI’vebeeninaregularmuddle,believeME。
CorneliaBryantwasneversokerflummuxedbefore。\"
\"Thereisn’taverygreatdealtotell。Leslie’sletterwasshort。Shedidn’tgointoparticulars。
Thisman——GeorgeMoore——hasrecoveredhismemoryandknowswhoheis。HesaysDicktookyellowfeverinCuba,andtheFourSistershadtosailwithouthim。
Georgestayedbehindtonursehim。Buthediedveryshortlyafterwards。
GeorgedidnotwriteLesliebecauseheintendedtocomerighthomeandtellherhimself。\"
\"Andwhydidn’the?\"
\"Isupposehisaccidentmusthaveintervened。GilbertsaysitisquitelikelythatGeorgeMooreremembersnothingofhisaccident,orwhatledtoit,andmayneverrememberit。ItprobablyhappenedverysoonafterDick’sdeath。WemayfindoutmoreparticularswhenLesliewritesagain。\"
\"Doesshesaywhatsheisgoingtodo?Whenisshecominghome?\"
\"ShesaysshewillstaywithGeorgeMooreuntilhecanleavethehospital。ShehaswrittentohispeopleinNovaScotia。ItseemsthatGeorge’sonlynearrelativeisamarriedsistermucholderthanhimself。ShewaslivingwhenGeorgesailedontheFourSisters,butofcoursewedonotknowwhatmayhavehappenedsince。
DidyoueverseeGeorgeMoore,MissCornelia?\"
\"Idid。Itisallcomingbacktome。HewasherevisitinghisUncleAbnereighteenyearsago,whenheandDickwouldbeaboutseventeen。Theyweredoublecousins,yousee。Theirfatherswerebrothersandtheirmothersweretwinsisters,andtheydidlookaterriblelotalike。Ofcourse,\"addedMissCorneliascornfully,\"itwasn’toneofthosefreakresemblancesyoureadofinnovelswheretwopeoplearesomuchalikethattheycanfilleachother’splacesandtheirnearestanddearestcan’ttellbetweenthem。InthosedaysyoucouldtelleasyenoughwhichwasGeorgeandwhichwasDick,ifyousawthemtogetherandnearathand。Apart,orsomedistanceaway,itwasn’tsoeasy。
Theyplayedlotsoftricksonpeopleandthoughtitgreatfun,thetwoscamps。GeorgeMoorewasalittletallerandagooddealfatterthanDick——thoughneitherofthemwaswhatyouwouldcallfat——theywerebothoftheleankind。DickhadhighercolorthanGeorge,andhishairwasashadelighter。Buttheirfeatureswerejustalike,andtheybothhadthatqueerfreakofeyes——oneblueandonehazel。Theyweren’tmuchalikeinanyotherway,though。Georgewasarealnicefellow,thoughhewasascalawagformischief,andsomesaidhehadalikingforaglasseventhen。ButeverybodylikedhimbetterthanDick。Hespentaboutamonthhere。Leslieneversawhim;shewasonlyabouteightorninethenandIremembernowthatshespentthatwholewinteroverharborwithhergrandmotherWest。CaptainJimwasaway,too——thatwasthewinterhewaswreckedontheMagdalens。Idon’tsupposeeitherheorLesliehadeverheardabouttheNovaScotiacousinlookingsomuchlikeDick。NobodyeverthoughtofhimwhenCaptainJimbroughtDick——George,I
shouldsay——home。Ofcourse,weallthoughtDickhadchangedconsiderable——he’dgotsolumpishandfat。Butweputthatdowntowhathadhappenedtohim,andnodoubtthatwasthereason,for,asI’vesaid,Georgewasn’tfattobeginwitheither。Andtherewasnootherwaywecouldhaveguessed,fortheman’ssenseswerecleangone。Ican’tseethatitisanywonderwewerealldeceived。Butit’sastaggeringthing。AndLesliehassacrificedthebestyearsofherlifetonursingamanwhohadn’tanyclaimonher!Oh,dratthemen!Nomatterwhattheydo,it’sthewrongthing。
Andnomatterwhotheyare,it’ssomebodytheyshouldn’tbe。Theydoexasperateme。\"
\"GilbertandCaptainJimaremen,anditisthroughthemthatthetruthhasbeendiscoveredatlast,\"saidAnne。
\"Well,Iadmitthat,\"concededMissCorneliareluctantly。\"I’msorryIrakedthedoctoroffso。
It’sthefirsttimeinmylifeI’veeverfeltashamedofanythingIsaidtoaman。Idon’tknowasIshalltellhimso,though。He’lljusthavetotakeitforgranted。Well,Anne,dearie,it’samercytheLorddoesn’tanswerallourprayers。I’vebeenprayinghardrightalongthattheoperationwouldn’tcureDick。OfcourseIdidn’tputitjustquitesoplain。Butthatwaswhatwasinthebackofmymind,andIhavenodoubttheLordknewit。\"
\"Well,Hehasansweredthespiritofyourprayer。Youreallywishedthatthingsshouldn’tbemadeanyharderforLeslie。I’mafraidthatinmysecretheartI’vebeenhopingtheoperationwouldn’tsucceed,andIamwholesomelyashamedofit。\"
\"HowdoesLeslieseemtotakeit?\"
\"Shewriteslikeonedazed。Ithinkthat,likeourselves,shehardlyrealisesityet。Shesays,`Itallseemslikeastrangedreamtome,Anne。’Thatistheonlyreferenceshemakestoherself。\"
\"Poorchild!Isupposewhenthechainsarestruckoffaprisonerhe’dfeelqueerandlostwithoutthemforawhile。Anne,dearie,here’sathoughtkeepscomingintomymind。WhataboutOwenFord?WebothknowLesliewasfondofhim。Diditeveroccurtoyouthathewasfondofher?\"
\"It——did——once,\"admittedAnne,feelingthatshemightsaysomuch。
\"Well,Ihadn’tanyreasontothinkhewas,butitjustappearedtomeheMUSTbe。Now,Anne,dearie,theLordknowsI’mnotamatch-maker,andIscornallsuchdoings。ButifIwereyouandwritingtothatFordmanI’djustmention,casual-like,whathashappened。Thatiswhat_I_’ddo。\"
\"OfcourseIwillmentionitwhenIwritehim,\"saidAnne,atrifledistantly。Somehow,thiswasathingshecouldnotdiscusswithMissCornelia。Andyet,shehadtoadmitthatthesamethoughthadbeenlurkinginhermindeversinceshehadheardofLeslie’sfreedom。
Butshewouldnotdesecrateitbyfreespeech。
\"Ofcoursethereisnogreatrush,dearie。ButDickMoore’sbeendeadforthirteenyearsandLesliehaswastedenoughofherlifeforhim。We’lljustseewhatcomesofit。AsforthisGeorgeMoore,who’sgoneandcomebacktolifewheneveryonethoughthewasdeadanddonefor,justlikeaman,I’mrealsorryforhim。Hewon’tseemtofitinanywhere。\"
\"Heisstillayoungman,andifherecoverscompletely,asseemslikely,hewillbeabletomakeaplaceforhimselfagain。Itmustbeverystrangeforhim,poorfellow。Isupposealltheseyearssincehisaccidentwillnotexistforhim。\"
CHAPTER33
LESLIERETURNS
AfortnightlaterLeslieMoorecamehomealonetotheoldhousewhereshehadspentsomanybitteryears。IntheJunetwilightshewentoverthefieldstoAnne’s,andappearedwithghost-likesuddennessinthescentedgarden。
\"Leslie!\"criedAnneinamazement。\"Wherehaveyousprungfrom?Weneverknewyouwerecoming。Whydidn’tyouwrite?Wewouldhavemetyou。\"
\"Icouldn’twritesomehow,Anne。Itseemedsofutiletotrytosayanythingwithpenandink。AndIwantedtogetbackquietlyandunobserved。\"
AnneputherarmsaboutLeslieandkissedher。Lesliereturnedthekisswarmly。Shelookedpaleandtired,andshegavealittlesighasshedroppeddownonthegrassesbesideagreatbedofdaffodilsthatweregleamingthroughthepale,silverytwilightlikegoldenstars。
\"Andyouhavecomehomealone,Leslie?\"
\"Yes。GeorgeMoore’ssistercametoMontrealandtookhimhomewithher。Poorfellow,hewassorrytopartwithme——thoughIwasastrangertohimwhenhismemoryfirstcameback。HeclungtomeinthosefirstharddayswhenhewastryingtorealisethatDick’sdeathwasnotthethingofyesterdaythatitseemedtohim。
Itwasallveryhardforhim。IhelpedhimallI
could。Whenhissistercameitwaseasierforhim,becauseitseemedtohimonlytheotherdaythathehadseenherlast。Fortunatelyshehadnotchangedmuch,andthathelpedhim,too。\"
\"Itisallsostrangeandwonderful,Leslie。Ithinkwenoneofusrealiseityet。\"
\"Icannot。WhenIwentintothehouseoverthereanhourago,IfeltthatitMUSTbeadream——thatDickmustbethere,withhischildishsmile,ashehadbeenforsolong。Anne,Iseemstunnedyet。I’mnotgladorsorry——orANYTHING。Ifeelasifsomethinghadbeentornsuddenlyoutofmylifeandleftaterriblehole。
IfeelasifIcouldn’tbe_I_——asifImusthavechangedintosomebodyelseandcouldn’tgetusedtoit。
Itgivesmeahorriblelonely,dazed,helplessfeeling。
It’sgoodtoseeyouagain——itseemsasifyouwereasortofanchorformydriftingsoul。Oh,Anne,I
dreaditall——thegossipandwondermentandquestioning。WhenIthinkofthat,IwishthatIneednothavecomehomeatall。Dr。DavewasatthestationwhenIcameoffthetrain——hebroughtmehome。Pooroldman,hefeelsverybadlybecausehetoldmeyearsagothatnothingcouldbedoneforDick。`Ihonestlythoughtso,Leslie,’hesaidtometoday。`ButI
shouldhavetoldyounottodependonmyopinion——I
shouldhavetoldyoutogotoaspecialist。IfIhad,youwouldhavebeensavedmanybitteryears,andpoorGeorgeMooremanywastedones。Iblamemyselfverymuch,Leslie。’Itoldhimnottodothat——hehaddonewhathethoughtright。Hehasalwaysbeensokindtome——Icouldn’tbeartoseehimworryingoverit。\"
\"AndDick——George,Imean?Ishismemoryfullyrestored?\"
\"Practically。Ofcourse,thereareagreatmanydetailshecan’trecallyet——butheremembersmoreandmoreeveryday。HewentoutforawalkontheeveningafterDickwasburied。HehadDick’smoneyandwatchonhim;hemeanttobringthemhometome,alongwithmyletter。Headmitshewenttoaplacewherethesailorsresorted——andheremembersdrinking——andnothingelse。Anne,Ishallneverforgetthemomentherememberedhisownname。Isawhimlookingatmewithanintelligentbutpuzzledexpression。Isaid,`Doyouknowme,Dick?’Heanswered,`Ineversawyoubefore。
Whoareyou?AndmynameisnotDick。IamGeorgeMoore,andDickdiedofyellowfeveryesterday!WhereamI?Whathashappenedtome?’I——Ifainted,Anne。
AndeversinceIhavefeltasifIwereinadream。\"
\"Youwillsoonadjustyourselftothisnewstateofthings,Leslie。Andyouareyoung——lifeisbeforeyou——youwillhavemanybeautifulyearsyet。\"
\"PerhapsIshallbeabletolookatitinthatwayafterawhile,Anne。JustnowIfeeltootiredandindifferenttothinkaboutthefuture。I’m——I’m——Anne,I’mlonely。ImissDick。Isn’titallverystrange?
Doyouknow,IwasreallyfondofpoorDick——George,I
supposeIshouldsay——justasIwouldhavebeenfondofahelplesschildwhodependedonmeforeverything。I
wouldneverhaveadmittedit——Iwasreallyashamedofit——because,yousee,IhadhatedanddespisedDicksomuchbeforehewentaway。WhenIheardthatCaptainJimwasbringinghimhomeIexpectedIwouldjustfeelthesametohim。ButIneverdid——althoughIcontinuedtoloathehimasIrememberedhimbefore。FromthetimehecamehomeIfeltonlypity——apitythathurtandwrungme。Isupposedthenthatitwasjustbecausehisaccidenthadmadehimsohelplessandchanged。ButnowIbelieveitwasbecausetherewasreallyadifferentpersonalitythere。Carloknewit,Anne——I
knownowthatCarloknewit。IalwaysthoughtitstrangethatCarloshouldn’thaveknownDick。Dogsareusuallysofaithful。ButHEknewitwasnothismasterwhohadcomeback,althoughnoneoftherestofusdid。IhadneverseenGeorgeMoore,youknow。I
remembernowthatDickoncementionedcasuallythathehadacousininNovaScotiawholookedasmuchlikehimasatwin;butthethinghadgoneoutofmymemory,andinanycaseIwouldneverhavethoughtitofanyimportance。Yousee,itneveroccurredtometoquestionDick’sidentity。Anychangeinhimseemedtomejusttheresultoftheaccident。
\"Oh,Anne,thatnightinAprilwhenGilberttoldmehethoughtDickmightbecured!Icanneverforgetit。
ItseemedtomethatIhadoncebeenaprisonerinahideouscageoftorture,andthenthedoorhadbeenopenedandIcouldgetout。IwasstillchainedtothecagebutIwasnotinit。AndthatnightIfeltthatamercilesshandwasdrawingmebackintothecage——backtoatortureevenmoreterriblethanithadoncebeen。
Ididn’tblameGilbert。Ifelthewasright。Andhehadbeenverygood——hesaidthatif,inviewoftheexpenseanduncertaintyoftheoperation,Ishoulddecidenottoriskit,hewouldnotblamemeintheleast。ButIknewhowIoughttodecide——andI
couldn’tfaceit。AllnightIwalkedthefloorlikeamadwoman,tryingtocompelmyselftofaceit。I
couldn’t,Anne——IthoughtIcouldn’t——andwhenmorningbrokeIsetmyteethandresolvedthatIWOULDN’T。I
wouldletthingsremainastheywere。Itwasverywicked,Iknow。ItwouldhavebeenjustpunishmentforsuchwickednessifIhadjustbeenlefttoabidebythatdecision。Ikepttoitallday。ThatafternoonI
hadtogouptotheGlentodosomeshopping。ItwasoneofDick’squiet,drowsydays,soIlefthimalone。
IwasgonealittlelongerthanIhadexpected,andhemissedme。Hefeltlonely。AndwhenIgothome,herantomeetmejustlikeachild,withsuchapleasedsmileonhisface。Somehow,Anne,Ijustgavewaythen。ThatsmileonhispoorvacantfacewasmorethanIcouldendure。IfeltasifIweredenyingachildthechancetogrowanddevelop。IknewthatImustgivehimhischance,nomatterwhattheconsequencesmightbe。SoIcameoverandtoldGilbert。Oh,Anne,youmusthavethoughtmehatefulinthoseweeksbeforeIwentaway。Ididn’tmeantobe——butIcouldn’tthinkofanythingexceptwhatIhadtodo,andeverythingandeverybodyaboutmewerelikeshadows。\"
\"Iknow——Iunderstood,Leslie。Andnowitisallover——yourchainisbroken——thereisnocage。\"
\"Thereisnocage,\"repeatedLeslieabsently,pluckingatthefringinggrasseswithherslender,brownhands。
\"But——itdoesn’tseemasiftherewereanythingelse,Anne。You——yourememberwhatItoldyouofmyfollythatnightonthesand-bar?Ifindonedoesn’tgetoverbeingafoolveryquickly。SometimesIthinktherearepeoplewhoarefoolsforever。Andtobeafool——ofthatkind——isalmostasbadasbeinga——adogonachain。\"
\"Youwillfeelverydifferentlyafteryougetoverbeingtiredandbewildered,\"saidAnne,who,knowingacertainthingthatLesliedidnotknow,didnotfeelherselfcalledupontowasteovermuchsympathy。
LeslielaidhersplendidgoldenheadagainstAnne’sknee。
\"Anyhow,IhaveYOU,\"shesaid。\"Lifecan’tbealtogetheremptywithsuchafriend。Anne,patmyhead——justasifIwerealittlegirl——MOTHERmeabit——andletmetellyouwhilemystubborntongueisloosedalittlejustwhatyouandyourcomradeshiphavemeanttomesincethatnightImetyouontherockshore。\"
CHAPTER34
THESHIPO’DREAMSCOMESTOHARBOR
Onemorning,whenawindygoldensunrisewasbillowingoverthegulfinwavesoflight,acertainwearystorkflewoverthebarofFourWindsHarboronhiswayfromtheLandofEveningStars。Underhiswingwastuckedasleepy,starry-eyed,littlecreature。Thestorkwastired,andhelookedwistfullyabouthim。Heknewhewassomewherenearhisdestination,buthecouldnotyetseeit。Thebig,whitelight-houseontheredsandstonecliffhaditsgoodpoints;butnostorkpossessedofanygumptionwouldleaveanew,velvetbabythere。Anoldgrayhouse,surroundedbywillows,inablossomybrookvalley,lookedmorepromising,butdidnotseemquitethethingeither。Thestaringgreenabodefurtheronwasmanifestlyoutofthequestion。Thenthestorkbrightenedup。Hehadcaughtsightoftheveryplace——alittlewhitehousenestledagainstabig,whisperingfirwood,withaspiralofbluesmokewindingupfromitskitchenchimney——ahousewhichjustlookedasifitweremeantforbabies。Thestorkgaveasighofsatisfaction,andsoftlyalightedontheridge-pole。
HalfanhourlaterGilbertrandownthehallandtappedonthespare-roomdoor。AdrowsyvoiceansweredhimandinamomentMarilla’spale,scaredfacepeepedoutfrombehindthedoor。
\"Marilla,Annehassentmetotellyouthatacertainyounggentlemanhasarrivedhere。Hehasn’tbroughtmuchluggagewithhim,butheevidentlymeanstostay。\"
\"Forpity’ssake!\"saidMarillablankly。\"Youdon’tmeantotellme,Gilbert,thatit’sallover。Whywasn’tIcalled?\"
\"Annewouldn’tletusdisturbyouwhentherewasnoneed。Nobodywascalleduntilabouttwohoursago。
Therewasno`passageperilous’thistime。\"
\"And——and——Gilbert——willthisbabylive?\"
\"Hecertainlywill。Heweighstenpoundsand——why,listentohim。Nothingwrongwithhislungs,isthere?
Thenursesayshishairwillbered。Anneisfuriouswithher,andI’mtickledtodeath。\"
Thatwasawonderfuldayinthelittlehouseofdreams。
\"Thebestdreamofallhascometrue,\"saidAnne,paleandrapturous。\"Oh,Marilla,Ihardlydarebelieveit,afterthathorribledaylastsummer。Ihavehadaheartacheeversincethen——butitisgonenow。\"
\"ThisbabywilltakeJoy’splace,\"saidMarilla。
\"Oh,no,no,NO,Marilla。Hecan’t——nothingcaneverdothat。Hehashisownplace,mydear,weeman-child。ButlittleJoyhashers,andalwayswillhaveit。Ifshehadlivedshewouldhavebeenoverayearold。Shewouldhavebeentoddlingaroundonhertinyfeetandlispingafewwords。Icanseehersoplainly,Marilla。Oh,IknownowthatCaptainJimwasrightwhenhesaidGodwouldmanagebetterthanthatmybabywouldseemastrangertomewhenIfoundherBeyond。I’velearnedTHATthispastyear。I’vefollowedherdevelopmentdaybydayandweekbyweek——I
alwaysshall。Ishallknowjusthowshegrowsfromyeartoyear——andwhenImeetheragainI’llknowher——shewon’tbeastranger。Oh,Marilla,LOOKathisdear,darlingtoes!Isn’titstrangetheyshouldbesoperfect?\"
\"Itwouldbestrangeriftheyweren’t,\"saidMarillacrisply。Nowthatallwassafelyover,Marillawasherselfagain。
\"Oh,Iknow——butitseemsasiftheycouldn’tbequiteFINISHED,youknow——andtheyare,eventothetinynails。Andhishands——JUSTlookathishands,Marilla。\"
\"Theyappeartobeagooddeallikehands,\"Marillaconceded。
\"Seehowheclingstomyfinger。I’msureheknowsmealready。Hecrieswhenthenursetakeshimaway。Oh,Marilla,doyouthink——youdon’tthink,doyou——thathishairisgoingtobered?\"
\"Idon’tseemuchhairofanycolor,\"saidMarilla。
\"Iwouldn’tworryaboutit,ifIwereyou,untilitbecomesvisible。\"
\"Marilla,heHAShair——lookatthatfinelittledownalloverhishead。Anyway,nursesayshiseyeswillbehazelandhisforeheadisexactlylikeGilbert’s。\"
\"Andhehasthenicestlittleears,Mrs。Doctor,dear,\"saidSusan。\"ThefirstthingIdidwastolookathisears。Hairisdeceitfulandnosesandeyeschange,andyoucannottellwhatisgoingtocomeofthem,butearsisearsfromstarttofinish,andyoualwaysknowwhereyouarewiththem。Justlookattheirshape——andtheyaresetrightbackagainsthisprecioushead。Youwillneverneedtobeashamedofhisears,Mrs。Doctor,dear。\"
Anne’sconvalescencewasrapidandhappy。Folkscameandworshippedthebaby,aspeoplehavebowedbeforethekingshipofthenew-bornsincelongbeforetheWiseMenoftheEastkneltinhomagetotheRoyalBabeoftheBethlehemmanger。Leslie,slowlyfindingherselfamidthenewconditionsofherlife,hoveredoverit,likeabeautiful,golden-crownedMadonna。MissCornelianurseditasknackilyascouldanymotherinIsrael。CaptainJimheldthesmallcreatureinhisbigbrownhandsandgazedtenderlyatit,witheyesthatsawthechildrenwhohadneverbeenborntohim。
\"Whatareyougoingtocallhim?\"askedMissCornelia。
\"Annehassettledhisname,\"answeredGilbert。
\"JamesMatthew——afterthetwofinestgentlemenI’veeverknown——notevensavingyourpresence,\"saidAnnewithasaucyglanceatGilbert。
Gilbertsmiled。
\"IneverknewMatthewverywell;hewassoshyweboyscouldn’tgetacquaintedwithhim——butIquiteagreewithyouthatCaptainJimisoneoftherarestandfinestsoulsGodeverclothedinclay。Heissodelightedoverthefactthatwehavegivenhisnametooursmalllad。Itseemshehasnoothernamesake。\"
\"Well,JamesMatthewisanamethatwillwearwellandnotfadeinthewashing,\"saidMissCornelia。\"I’mgladyoudidn’tloadhimdownwithsomehighfalutin,romanticnamethathe’dbeashamedofwhenhegetstobeagrandfather。Mrs。WilliamDrewattheGlenhascalledherbabyBertieShakespeare。Quiteacombination,isn’tit?AndI’mgladyouhaven’thadmuchtroublepickingonaname。Somefolkshaveanawfultime。WhentheStanleyFlaggs’firstboywasborntherewassomuchrivalryastowhothechildshouldbenamedforthatthepoorlittlesoulhadtogofortwoyearswithoutaname。Thenabrothercamealongandthereitwas——`BigBaby’and`LittleBaby。’
FinallytheycalledBigBabyPeterandLittleBabyIsaac,afterthetwograndfathers,andhadthembothchristenedtogether。Andeachtriedtoseeifitcouldn’thowltheotherdown。YouknowthatHighlandScotchfamilyofMacNabsbackoftheGlen?They’vegottwelveboysandtheoldestandtheyoungestarebothcalledNeil——BigNeilandLittleNeilinthesamefamily。Well,Is’posetheyranoutofnames。\"
\"Ihavereadsomewhere,\"laughedAnne,\"thatthefirstchildisapoembutthetenthisveryprosyprose。
PerhapsMrs。MacNabthoughtthatthetwelfthwasmerelyanoldtalere-told。\"
\"Well,there’ssomethingtobesaidforlargefamilies,\"saidMissCornelia,withasigh。\"IwasanonlychildforeightyearsandIdidlongforabrotherandsister。Mothertoldmetoprayforone——andprayIdid,believeME。Well,onedayAuntNelliecametomeandsaid,`Cornelia,thereisalittlebrotherforyouupstairsinyourma’sroom。Youcangoupandseehim。’IwassoexcitedanddelightedIjustflewupstairs。AndoldMrs。Flaggliftedupthebabyformetosee。Lord,Anne,dearie,Ineverwassodisappointedinmylife。Yousee,I’dbeenprayingforABROTHERTWOYEARSOLDERTHANMYSELF。\"
\"Howlongdidittakeyoutogetoveryourdisappointment?\"askedAnne,amidherlaughter。
\"Well,IhadaspiteatProvidenceforagoodspell,andforweeksIwouldn’tevenlookatthebaby。Nobodyknewwhy,forInevertold。Thenhebegantogetrealcute,andheldouthisweehandstomeandIbegantogetfondofhim。ButIdidn’tgetreallyreconciledtohimuntilonedayaschoolchumcametoseehimandsaidshethoughthewasawfulsmallforhisage。I
justgotboilingmad,andIsailedrightintoher,andtoldhershedidn’tknowanicebabywhenshesawone,andourswasthenicestbabyintheworld。AndafterthatIjustworshippedhim。MotherdiedbeforehewasthreeyearsoldandIwassisterandmothertohimboth。Poorlittlelad,hewasneverstrong,andhediedwhenhewasn’tmuchovertwenty。SeemstomeI’dhavegivenanythingonearth,Anne,dearie,ifhe’donlylived。\"