TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter27[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter27Afterthelessonwiththeteacherofgrammarcamehisfather’slesson。
Whilewaitingforhisfather，Seriozhasatatthetableplayingwithapenknife，andfelltomusing。AmongSeriozha’sfavoriteoccupationswassearchingforhismotherduringhiswalks。Hedidnotbelieveindeathgenerally，andinherdeathinparticular，inspiteofwhatLidiaIvanovnahadtoldhimandhisfatherhadconfirmed，anditwasjustbecauseofthat，andafterhehadbeentoldshewasdead，thathehadbegunlookingforherwhenoutforawalk。Everywomanoffull，gracefulfigurewithdarkhairwashismother。Atthesightofsuchawomansuchafeelingoftendernessstirredwithinhimthathisbreathfailedhim，andtearscameintohiseyes。Andhewasontiptoewithexpectationthatshewouldcomeuptohim，wouldliftherveil。Allherfacewouldbevisible，shewouldsmile，shewouldhughim，hewouldsniffherfragrance，feelthesoftnessofherarms，andcrywithhappiness，justashehadoneeveninglainonherlapwhileshetickledhim，andhelaughedandbitherwhite，ring-coveredfingers。
Later，whenheaccidentallylearnedfromhisoldnursethathismotherwasnotdead，andhisfatherandLidiaIvanovnahadexplainedtohimthatshewasdeadtohimbecauseshewaswickedwhichhecouldnotpossiblybelieve，becausehelovedher，hewentonseekingherandexpectingherinthesameway。Thatdayinthepublicgardenstherehadbeenaladyinalilacveil，whomhehadwatchedwithathrobbingheart，believingittobeherasshecametowardthemalongthepath。Theladyhadnotcomeuptothem，buthaddisappearedsomewhere。Thatday，moreintenselythanever，Seriozhafeltarushofloveforher，andnow，waitingforhisfather，heforgoteverything，andcutallroundtheedgeofthetablewithhispenknife，staringstraightbeforehimwithsparklingeyes，andthinkingofher。
`Hereisyourpapa，’VassiliiLukichdivertedhim。
Seriozhajumpedupandwentuptohisfather，and，kissinghishand，lookedathimintently，tryingtodiscoversignsofhisjoyatreceivingtheAlexandreNevsky。
`Didyouhaveagoodwalk？’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich，sittingdowninhiseasychair，pullingthevolumeoftheOldTestamenttohimandopeningit。AlthoughAlexeiAlexandrovichhadmorethanoncetoldSeriozhathateveryChristianoughttoknowScripturehistorythoroughly，heoftenreferredtotheBiblehimselfduringthelesson，andSeriozhaobservedthis。
`Yes，itwasverygoodindeed，papa，’saidSeriozha，sittingsidewaysonhischairandrockingit，whichwasforbidden。`IsawNadinka’NadinkawasanieceofLidiaIvanovna’swhowasbeingbroughtupinherhouse。
`Shetoldmeyou’dbeengivenanewstar。Areyouglad，papa？’
`Firstofall，don’trockyourchair，please，’saidAlexeiAlexandrovich。
`Andsecondly，it’snottherewardthat’sprecious，buttheworkitself。
AndIcouldhavewishedyouhadunderstoodthat。Ifyounowaregoingtowork，tostudy，inordertowinareward，thentheworkwillseemhardtoyou；butwhenyouwork’AlexeiAlexandrovich，ashespoke，thoughtofhowhehadbeensustainedbyasenseofdutythroughthewearisomelaborofthemorning，consistingofsigningonehundredandeightypapers，`lovingyourwork，youwillfindyourrewardforit。’
Seriozha’seyeshithertoshiningwithgaietyandtenderness，grewdullanddroppedbeforehisfather’sgaze。Thiswasthesamelong-familiartonehisfatheralwaystookwithhim，andSeriozhahadlearnedbynowtofallinwithit。Hisfatheralwaystalkedtohim-soSeriozhafelt-asthoughhewereaddressingsomeboyofhisownimagination，oneofthoseboyswhoexistinbooks，utterlyunlikehimself。AndSeriozhaalwaystried，beforehisfather，topretendbeingthisstorybookboy。
`Youunderstandthat，Ihope？’saidhisfather。
`Yes，papa，’answeredSeriozha，actingthepartoftheimaginaryboy。
ThelessonconsistedoflearningbyheartseveralversesoutoftheEvangelandtherepetitionofthebeginningoftheOldTestament。TheversesfromtheEvangelSeriozhaknewfairlywell，butatthemomentwhenhewassayingthemhebecamesoabsorbedinwatchingthesharplyprotruding，bonyknobbinessofhisfather’sforehead，thathelostthethread，andhetransposedtheendofoneverseandthebeginningofanother。ItwasevidenttoAlexeiAlexandrovichthathedidnotunderstandwhathewassaying，andthisirritatedhim。
Hefrowned，andbeganexplainingwhatSeriozhahadheardmanytimesbeforeandnevercouldremember，becauseheunderstoodittoowell，justasthat`suddenly’isanadverbofmannerofaction。Seriozhalookedwithscaredeyesathisfather，andcouldthinkofnothingbutwhetherhisfatherwouldmakehimrepeatwhathehadsaid，ashesometimesdid。
AndthisthoughtsoalarmedSeriozhathathenowunderstoodnothing。Buthisfatherdidnotmakehimrepeatit，andpassedontothelessonoutoftheOldTestament。Seriozharecountedtheeventsthemselveswellenough，butwhenhehadtoanswerquestionsastowhatcertaineventsprefigured，heknewnothing，thoughhehadalreadybeenpunishedoverthislesson。
Thepassageatwhichhewasutterlyunabletosayanything，andbeganfidgetingandcuttingthetableandswinginghischair，waswherehehadtotellofthepatriarchsbeforetheFlood。Hedidnotknowoneofthem，exceptEnoch，whohadbeentakenupalivetoheaven。Lasttimehehadrememberedtheirnames，butnowhehadforgottenthemutterly，chieflybecauseEnochwasthepersonagehelikedbestinthewholeoftheOldTestament，andEnoch’stranslationtoheavenwasconnectedinhismindwithawholelongtrainofthought，inwhichhebecameabsorbednowwhilehegazedwithfascinatedeyesathisfather’swatchchainandahalf-unbuttonedbuttononhiswaistcoat。
Indeath，ofwhichtheytalkedtohimsooften，Seriozhadisbelievedentirely。Hedidnotbelievethatthosehelovedcoulddie，aboveallthathehimselfwoulddie。Thatwastohimsomethingutterlyinconceivableandimpossible。Buthehadbeentoldallmendie；hehadaskedpeople，indeed，whomhetrusted，andthey，too，hadconfirmedit；hisoldnurse，too，saidthesame，thoughreluctantly。ButEnochhadnotdied，andsoitfollowedthateveryonedidnotdie。`AndwhycannotanyoneelsesoserveGodandbetakenalivetoheaven？’thoughtSeriozha。Badpeople-thatis，thoseSeriozhadidnotlike-mightdie，butthegoodmightallbelikeEnoch。
`Well，whatarethenamesofthepatriarchs？’
`Enoch，Enos-’
`Butyouhavesaidthatalready。Thisisbad。Seriozha，verybad。
Ifyoudon’ttrytolearnwhatismostnecessaryofallforaChristian，’
saidhisfather，gettingup，`whatevercaninterestyou？Iamdispleasedwithyou，andPiotrIgnatich’thiswasthechiefpedagogue`isdispleasedwithyou……Ishallhavetopunishyou。’
HisfatherandhisteacherwerebothdispleasedwithSeriozha，andhecertainlydidlearnhislessonsverybadly。Butstillitcouldnotbesaidhewasastupidboy。Onthecontrary，hewasfarclevererthantheboyshisteacherheldupasexamplestoSeriozha。Inhisfather’sopinion，hedidnotwanttolearnwhathewastaught。Inrealityhecouldnotlearnthat。Hecouldnot，becausetheclaimsofhisownsoulweremorebindingonhimthatthoseclaimshisfatherandhisteachermadeuponhim。Thoseclaimswereinopposition，andhewasindirectconflictwithhisgovernors。
Hewasnineyearsold；hewasachild；butheknewhisownsoul，itwasprecioustohim；heguardeditastheeyelidguardstheeye，andwithoutthekeyofloveheletnooneintohissoul。Histeacherscomplainedthathewouldnotlearn，whilehissoulwasbrimmingoverwiththirstforknowledge。AndhelearnedfromKapitonich，fromhisnurse，fromNadinka，fromVassiliiLukich-butnotfromhisteachers。Thespringhisfatherandhisteachersreckonedupontoturntheirmillwheelshadlongoozedatanotherplace，anditswatersdidtheirworkthere。
HisfatherpunishedSeriozhabynotlettinghimgotoseeNadinka，LidiaIvanovna’sniece；butthispunishmentturnedouthappilyforSeriozha。
VassiliiLukichwasinagoodhumor，andshowedhimhowtomakewindmills。
Thewholeeveningpassedoverthisworkandindreaminghowtomakeawindmillonwhichhecouldturnhimself-clutchingatthewingsortyinghimselfonandwhirlinground。OfhismotherSeriozhadidnotthinkalltheevening，but，whenhehadgonetobed，hesuddenlyrememberedher，andprayedinhisownwordsthattomorrowhismother，intimeforhisbirthday，mightleaveoffhidingherselfandcometohim。
`VassiliiLukich，doyouknowwhatIprayedfortonight-extrabesidetheregularthings？’
`Thatyoumightlearnyourlessonsbetter？’
`No。’
`Toys？’
`No。You’llneverguess。Asplendidthing-butit’sasecret。
WhenitcomestopassI’lltellyou。Can’tyouguess？’
`No，Ican’tguess。Youtellme，’saidVassiliiLukichwithasmile，whichwasrarewithhim。`Come，liedown，I’mputtingoutthecandle。’
`WithoutthecandleIcanseebetterwhatIseeandwhatIprayedfor。There！Iwasalmosttellingthesecret！’saidSeriozha，laughinggaily。
Whenthecandlewastakenaway，Seriozhaheardhismotherandfeltherpresence。Shestoodoverhim，andherlovinggazecaressedhim。
Butthencamewindmills-apenknife-everythingbecameconfused，andhefellasleep。
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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter28[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter28OnarrivinginPeterburg，VronskyandAnnastayedatoneofthebesthotels；
Vronskyapartinalowerstory，Annaabovewithherchild，itsnurse，andhermaid，inalargesuiteoffourrooms。
OnthedayofhisarrivalVronskywenttohisbrother’s。Therehefoundhismother，whohadcomefromMoscowonbusiness。Hismotherandsister-in-lawgreetedhimasusual:theyaskedhimabouthisstayabroad，andtalkedoftheircommonacquaintances，butdidnotletdropasinglewordinallusiontohisconnectionwithAnna。HisbrothercamenextmorningtoseeVronsky，andofhisownaccordaskedhimabouther，andAlexeiVronskytoldhimdirectlythathelookeduponhisconnectionwithMadameKareninaasmarriage；thathehopedtoarrangeadivorce，andthentomarryher，anduntilthenheconsideredherasmuchawifeasanyotherwife，andhebeggedhimtotelltheirmotherandhiswifeso。
`Iftheworlddisapproves，Idon’tcare，’saidVronsky；`butifmyrelationswanttobeontermsofrelationshipwithme，theywillhavetobeonthesametermswithmywife。’
Theelderbrother，whohadalwaysarespectforhisyoungerbrother’sjudgment，couldnotwelltellwhetherhewasrightornottilltheworldhaddecidedthequestion；forhisparthehadnothingagainstit，andwithAlexeihewentuptoseeAnna。
Beforehisbrother，asbeforeeveryone，VronskyaddressedAnnawithacertainformality，treatingherashemightaveryintimatefriend，butitwasunderstoodthathisbrotherknewtheirrealrelations，andtheytalkedaboutAnna’sgoingtoVronsky’sestate。
InspiteofallhissocialexperienceVronskywas，inconsequenceofthenewpositioninwhichhewasplaced，laboringunderastrangemisapprehension。
OnewouldhavethoughthemusthaveunderstoodthatsocietywasclosedforhimandAnna；butnowsomevagueideashadsprungupinhisbrainthatthiswasonlythecaseinold-fashioneddays，andthatnow，withtherapidityofmodernprogresshehadunconsciouslybecomebynowapartisanofeverysortofprogress，theviewsofsocietyhadchanged，andthatthequestionoftheirreceptionbysocietywasfarfromdecided。`Ofcourse，’hethought，`shewouldnotbereceivedatCourt，butintimatefriendscan，andmust，lookatitintheproperlight。’
Onemaysitforseveralhoursatastretchwithone’slegscrossedinthesameposition，ifoneknowsthatthere’snothingtopreventone’schangingone’sposition；butifamanknowsthathemustremainsittingsowithcrossedlegs，thencrampscomeon，thelegsbegintotwitchandtostraintowardthespottowhichonewouldliketodrawthem。ThiswaswhatVronskywasexperiencinginregardtotheworld。Thoughatthebottomofhisheartheknewthattheworldwasshutonthem，heputittothetestwhethertheworldhadnotchangedbynowandwouldnotreceivethem。
Butheveryquicklyperceivedthatthoughtheworldwasopenforhimpersonally，itwasclosedforAnna。Justasinthegameofcatandmouse，thehandsraisedforhimweredroppedtobarthewayforAnna。
OneofthefirstladiesofPeterburgsocietywhomVronskysawwashiscousinBetsy。
`Atlast！’shegreetedhimjoyfully。`AndAnna？HowgladIam！
Whereareyoustopping？IcanfancyafteryourdelightfultravelsyoumustfindourpoorPeterburghorrid。IcanfancyyourhoneymooninRome。Howaboutthedivorce？Isthatallover？’
VronskynoticedthatBetsy’senthusiasmwanedwhenshelearnedthatnodivorcehadasyettakenplace。
`Peoplewillcastastoneatme，Iknow，’shesaid，`butIshallcomeandseeAnna；yes，Ishallcertainlycome。Youwon’tbeherelong，Isuppose？’
AndshedidcertainlycometoseeAnnathesameday，buthertonewasnotatallthesameasinformerdays。Sheunmistakablypridedherselfonhercourage，andwishedAnnatoappreciatethefidelityofherfriendship。
Sheonlystayedtenminutes，talkingofsocietynews，andonleavingshesaid:
`You’venevertoldmewhenthedivorceistobe？SupposingI’mreadytoflingmycapoverthemill，otherstarchypeoplewillgiveyouthecoldshoulderuntilyou’remarried。Andthat’ssosimplenowadays。
Casefait。Soyou’regoingonFriday？Sorryweshan’tseeeachotheragain。’
FromBetsy’stoneVronskymighthavegraspedwhathehadtoexpectfromtheworld；buthemadeanothereffortinhisownfamily。Hismotherhedidnotreckonupon。Heknewthathismother，whohadbeensoenthusiasticoverAnnaattheirfirstacquaintance，wouldhavenomercyonhernowforhavingruinedherson’scareer。ButhehadmorehopeofVaria，hisbrother’swife。Hefanciedshewouldnotcastastone，andwouldgosimplyanddirectlytoseeAnna，andwouldreceiveherinherownhouse。
ThedayafterhisarrivalVronskywenttoher，andfindingheralone，expressedhiswishesdirectly。
`Youknow，Alexei，’shesaidafterhearinghim，`howfondIamofyou，andhowreadyIamtodoanythingforyou；butIhavenotspoken，becauseIknewIcouldbeofnousetoyouandtoAnnaArkadyevna，’shesaid，articulatingthename`AnnaArkadyevna’withparticularcare。`Don’tsuppose，please，thatIjudgeher。Never！PerhapsinherplaceIshouldhavedonethesame。Idon’tandcan’tenterintothat，’shesaid，glancingtimidlyathisgloomyface。`Butonemustcallthingsbytheirnames。Youwantmetogoandseeher，toaskherhere，andtorehabilitateherinsociety；butdounderstandthatIcannotdoso。Ihavedaughtersgrowingup，andImustliveintheworldformyhusband’ssake。Well，I’mreadytocomeandseeAnnaArkadyevna-shewillunderstandthatIcan’taskherhere，orIshouldhavetodosoinsuchawaythatshewouldnotmeetpeoplewholookatthingsdifferently；thatwouldoffendher。Ican’traiseher……’
`Oh，Idon’tregardherashavingfallenmorethanhundredsofwomenyoudoreceive！’Vronskyinterruptedherstillmoregloomily，andhegotupinsilence，understandingthathissister-in-law’sdecisionwasnottobeshaken。
`Alexei！Don’tbeangrywithme。PleaseunderstandthatI’mnottoblame，’beganVaria，lookingathimwithatimidsmile。
`I’mnotangrywithyou，’hesaidstillasgloomily；`butthisisdoublypainfultome。I’msorry，too，thatthismeansbreakingupourfriendship-ifnotbreakingup，atleastweakeningit。Youwillunderstandthatforme，too，itcannotbeotherwise。’
Andwiththathelefther。
Vronskyknewthatfurthereffortswereuseless，andthathehadtospendthesefewdaysinPeterburgasthoughinastrangetown，avoidingeverysortofrelationwithhisownoldcircleinordernottobeexposedtotheannoyancesandhumiliationswhichweresointolerabletohim。OneofthemostunpleasantfeaturesofhispositioninPeterburgwasthatAlexeiAlexandrovichandhisnameseemedtomeethimeverywhere。HecouldnotbegintotalkofanythingwithouttheconversationturningonAlexeiAlexandrovich，hecouldnotgoanywherewithoutriskofmeetinghim。SoatleastitseemedtoVronsky，justasitseemstoamanwithasorefingerthatheiscontinually，asthoughonpurpose，grazinghissorefingeragainsteverything。
TheirstayinPeterburgwasthemorepainfultoVronskybecauseheperceivedallthetimeasortofnewmoodhecouldnotunderstandinAnna。Atonetimeshewouldseeminlovewithhim，andthenextshewouldbecomecold，irritable，andimpenetrable。Shewasworryingoversomething，andkeepingsomethingbackfromhim，anddidnotseemtonoticethehumiliationswhichpoisonedhisexistence，andwhichforher，withherdelicateintuition，musthavebeenstillmoreunbearable。
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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter29[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter29OneofAnna’sobjectsincomingbacktoRussiahadbeentoseeherson。
FromthedaysheleftItalythethoughtofseeinghimhadneverceasedtoagitateher。And，asshegotnearertoPeterburg，thedelightandimportanceofthismeetinggrewevergreaterinherimagination。Shedidnotevenputtoherselftheproblemofhowtoarrangeit。Itseemedtohernaturalandsimpletoseehersonwhensheshouldbeinthesametownwithhim。
ButonherarrivalinPeterburgshewassuddenlymadedistinctlyawareofherpresentpositioninsociety，andshegraspedthefactthattoarrangethismeetingwasnoeasymatter。
ShehadnowbeentwodaysinPeterburg。Thethoughtofhersonneverleftherforasingleinstant，butshehadnotyetseenhim。Togostraighttothehouse，whereshemightmeetAlexeiAlexandrovich-thatshefeltshehadnorighttodo。Shemightberefusedadmittanceandinsulted。
Towriteandsoenterintorelationswithherhusband-thethoughtofdoingthatmadehermiserable；shecouldonlybeatpeacewhenshedidnotthinkofherhusband。Togetaglimpseofhersonoutwalking，findingoutwhereandwhenhewentout，wasnotenoughforher；shehadsolookedforwardtothismeeting，shehadsomuchshemustsaytohim，shesolongedtoembracehim，tokisshim。Seriozha’soldnursemightbeahelptoherandshowherwhattodo。ButthenursewasnotnowlivinginAlexeiAlexandrovich’shouse。Inthisuncertainty，andineffortstofindthenurse，twodayshadslippedby。
HearingofthecloseintimacybetweenAlexeiAlexandrovichandCountessLidiaIvanovna，Annadecidedonthethirddaytowriteheraletter，whichcosthergreatpains，andinwhichsheintentionallysaidthatpermissiontoseehersonmustdependonherhusband’smagnanimity。Sheknewthatiftheletterwereshowntoherhusband，hewouldkeepuphisroleofmagnanimity，andwouldnotrefuseherrequest。
Thecommissionairewhotooktheletterhadbroughtherbackthemostcruelandunexpectedanswer-thattherewasnoanswer。Shehadneverfeltsohumiliatedasatthemomentwhen，sendingforcommissionaire，sheheardfromhimtheexactaccountofhowhehadwaited，andhowafterwardhehadbeentoldtherewasnoanswer。Annafelthumiliated，insulted，butshesawthatfromherpointofviewCountessLidiaIvanovnawasright。
Hersufferingwasthemorepoignantsinceshehadtobearitinsolitude。
ShecouldnotandwouldnotshareitwithVronsky。Sheknewthattohim，althoughhewastheprimarycauseofherdistress，thequestionofherseeinghersonwouldseemamatterofverylittleconsequence。Sheknewthathewouldneverbecapableofunderstandingallthedepthofhersuffering，thatforhiscooltoneatanyallusiontoitshewouldbegintohatehim。
Andshedreadedthatmorethananythingintheworld，andsoshehidfromhimeverythingthatrelatedtoherson。
Spendingthewholedayathomesheconsideredwaysofseeingherson，andhadreachedadecisiontowritetoherhusband。ShewasjustcomposingthisletterwhenshewashandedtheletterfromLidiaIvanovna。TheCountess’ssilencehadsubduedanddepressedher，buttheletter，allthatshereadbetweenthelinesinit，soexasperatedher，thismalicewassorevoltingbesideherpassionate，legitimatetendernessforherson，thatsheturnedagainstotherpeopleandleftoffblamingherself。
`Thiscoldnessissimulationoffeeling！’shesaidtoherself。
`Theymustneedsinsultmeandtorturethechild，andIamtosubmittoit！Notonanyconsideration！SheisworsethanIam。Idon’tlie，anyway。’
Andshedecidedonthespotthatnextday，Seriozha’sbirthday，shewouldgostraighttoherhusband’shouse，bribetheservants，deceivethepeople，butatanycostseehersonandoverturnthehideousdeceptionwithwhichtheywereencompassingtheunhappychild。
Shewenttoatoyshop，boughttoys，andthoughtoveraplanofaction。Shewouldgoearlyinthemorningateighto’clock，whenAlexeiAlexandrovichwouldbecertainnottobeup。Shewouldhavemoneyinherhandtogivethehallporterandthefootman，sothattheyshouldletherin，and，withoutraisingherveil，shewouldsaythatshehadcomefromSeriozha’sgodfathertocongratulatehim，andthatshehadbeenchargedtoleavethetoysathisbedside。Shehadpreparedeverythingbutthewordssheshouldsaytoherson。Oftenshedreamedofit，shecouldneverthinkofanything。
Thenextday，ateighto’clockinthemorning，Annagotoutofahiredcoachandrangatthefrontentranceofherformerhome。
`Runandseewhat’swanted。Somelady，’saidKapitonich，who，notyetdressed，inhisovercoatandgaloshes，hadpeepedoutofthewindowandseenaladyinaveilstandingcloseuptothedoor。Hisassistant，aladAnnadidnotknow，hadnosooneropenedthedoortoherthanshecamein，andpullingathree-roublenoteoutofhermuffputithurriedlyintohishand。
`Seriozha-SergeiAlexeich，’shesaid，andwasgoingon。Scrutinizingthenote，theporter’sassistantstoppedheratthesecondglassdoor。
`Whomdoyouwant？’heasked。
Shedidnothearhiswordsandmadenoanswer。
Noticingtheembarrassmentoftheunknownlady，Kapitonichwentouttoher，openedtheseconddoorforher，andaskedherwhatshewaspleasedtowant。
`FromPrinceSkorodumovforSergeiAlexeich，’shesaid。
`He’snotupyet，’saidtheporter，lookingatherattentively。
Annahadnotanticipatedthattheabsolutelyunchangedhallofthehousewhereshehadlivedfornineyearswouldsogreatlyaffecther。
Memoriessweetandpainfulroseoneafteranotherinherheart，andforamomentsheforgotwhatshewasherefor。
`Wouldyoukindlywait？’saidKapitonich，takingoffherfurcloak。
Ashetookoffthecloak，Kapitonichglancedatherface，recognizedher，andmadeheralowbowinsilence。
`Pleasewalkin，YourExcellency，’hesaidtoher。
Shetriedtosaysomething，buthervoicerefusedtoutteranysound；withaguiltyandimploringglanceattheoldmanshewentwithlight，swiftstepsupthestairs。Bentdouble，andhisgaloshescatchinginthesteps，Kapitonichranafterher，tryingtoovertakeher。
`Thetutor’sthere；maybehe’snotdressed。I’lllethimknow。’
Annastillmountedthefamiliarstaircase，notunderstandingwhattheoldmanwassaying。
`Thisway，totheleft，ifyouplease。Excuseitsnotbeingtidy。
He’sintheformersmokingroomnow，’thehallportersaid，panting。`Excuseme，waitalittle，YourExcellency；I’lljustsee，’hesaid，andovertakingher，heopenedthehighdooranddisappearedbehindit。Annastoodstillwaiting。`He’sonlyjustawake，’saidthehallporter，comingout。
Andattheveryinstanttheportersaidthis，Annacaughtthesoundofachildishyawn。Fromthesoundofthisyawnalonesheknewhersonandseemedtoseehimlivingbeforehereyes。
`Letmein；goaway！’shesaidandwentinthroughthehighdoorway。
Ontherightofthedoorstoodabed，andsittingupinthebedwastheboy。Hislittlebodybentforward，hisnightshirtunbuttoned，hewasstretchingandstillyawning。Theinstanthislipscametogethertheycurvedintoablissfullysleepysmile，andwiththatsmileheslowlyanddeliciouslyrolledbackagain。
`Seriozha！’shewhispered，walkingnoiselesslyuptohim。
Whenshewaspartedfromhim，andallthislattertimewhenshehadbeenfeelingafreshrushofloveforhim，shehadpicturedhimashewasatfouryearsold，whenshehadlovedhimmostofall。Nowhewasnoteventhesameaswhenshehadlefthim；hewasfartherthaneverfromthefour-year-oldbaby，moregrownandthinner。Howthinhisfacewas，howshorthishairwas！Whatlonghands！Howhehadchangedsinceshelefthim！Butitwashewithhishead，hislips，hissoftneckandbroadlittleshoulders。
`Seriozha！’sherepeated，inthechild’sveryear。
Heraisedhimselfagainonhiselbow，turnedhistousledheadfromsidetoside，asthoughlookingforsomething，andopenedhiseyes。
Quietlyandinquiringlyhelookedforseveralsecondsathismotherstandingmotionlessbeforehim，thenallatoncehesmiledablissfulsmile，andshuttinghiseyesagain，rollednotbackwardbuttowardher，intoherarms。
`Seriozha！Mydarlingboy！’shesaid，breathinghardandputtingherarmsaroundhisplumplittlebody。
`Mother！’hesaid，wrigglingaboutinherarmssoastotouchherhandswithdifferentpartsofhim。
Smilingsleepilystill，withclosedeyes，heflunghisfatlittlearmsroundhershoulders，rolledtowardher，withthedelicioussleepywarmthandfragrancethatisonlyfoundinchildren，andbeganrubbinghisfaceagainstherneckandshoulders。
`Iknew，’hesaid，openinghiseyes。`It’smybirthdaytoday。
Iknewyou’dcome。I’llgetupdirectly。’
Andsayingthathedroppedasleep。
Annalookedathimhungrily；shesawhowhehadgrownandchangedinherabsence。Sheknew，anddidnotknow，thebarelegssolongnow，thatwerethrustoutbelowthequilt；sheknewthoseshort-croppedcurlsonhisneckinwhichshehadsooftenkissedhim。Shetouchedallthisandcouldsaynothing；tearschokedher。
`Whatareyoucryingfor，mother？’hesaid，wakingupcompletely。
`Mother，whatareyoucryingfor？’hecriedinatearfulvoice。
`I？……Iwon’tcry……I’mcryingforjoy。It’ssolongsinceI’veseenyou。Iwon’t，Iwon’t，’shesaid，gulpingdownhertearsandturningaway。`Come，it’stimeforyoutodressnow，’sheadded，afterapause，and，neverlettinggohishands，shesatdownbyhisbedsideonthechair，wherehisclotheswereputreadyforhim。
`Howdoyoudresswithoutme？How……’shemadeanattempttotalksimplyandcheerfully，butshecouldnot，andagainsheturnedaway。
`Idon’thaveacoldbath-papadidn’torderit。Andyou’venotseenVassiliiLukich？He’llcomeinsoon。Why，you’resittingonmyclothes！’
AndSeriozhawentoffintoapealoflaughter。Shelookedathimandsmiled。
`Mother，darling，sweetone！’heshouted，flinginghimselfonheragainandhuggingher。Itwasasifonlynow，onseeinghersmile，hefullygraspedwhathadhappened。`Idon’twantthaton，’hesaid，takingoffherhat。And，asitwere，seeingherafreshwithoutherhat，hefelltokissingheragain。
`Butwhatdidyouthinkaboutme？Youdidn’tthinkIwasdead？’
`Ineverbelievedit。’
`Youdidn’tbelieveit，mysweet？’
`Iknew，Iknew！’herepeatedhisfavoritephrase，andsnatchingthehandthatwasstrokinghishair，hepressedtheopenpalmtohismouthandkissedit。
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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter30[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter30MeanwhileVassiliiLukichhadnotatfirstunderstoodwhothisladywas，andhadlearnedfromtheirconversationthatitwasnootherpersonthanthemotherwhohadleftherhusband，andwhomhehadnotseen，ashehadenteredthehouseafterherdeparture。Hewasindoubtwhethertogoinornot，orwhethertocommunicatewithAlexeiAlexandrovich。ReflectingfinallythathisdutywastogetSeriozhaupatthehourfixed，andthatitwasthereforenothisbusinesstoconsiderwhowasthere，themotheroranyoneelse，butsimplytodohisduty，hefinisheddressing，wenttothedoorandopenedit。
Buttheembracesofthemotherandchild，thesoundoftheirvoices，andwhattheyweresaying，madehimchangehismind。Heshookhishead，andwithasighheclosedthedoor。`I’llwaitanothertenminutes，’hesaidtohimself，clearinghisthroatandwipingawaytears。
Amongtheservantsofthehouseholdtherewasintenseexcitementallthistime。Allhadheardthattheirmistresshadcome，andthatKapitonichhadletherin，andthatshewasevennowinthenursery，andeveryoneknewthattheirmasteralwayswentinpersontothenurseryatnineo’clock，andeveryonefullycomprehendedthatitwasimpossibleforthehusbandandwifetomeet，andthattheymustpreventit。Kornei，thevalet，goingdowntothehallporter’sroom，askedwhohadletherin，andhowitwashehaddoneso，andascertainingthatKapitonichhadadmittedherandshownherup，hegavetheoldmanatalking-to。Thehallporterwasdoggedlysilent，butwhenKorneitoldhimheoughttobesentpackingKapitonichdarteduptohim，and，shakinghishandsinKornei’sface，began:
`Ohyes，tobesureyou’dnothaveletherin！Aftertenyears’
service，andneverawordbutofkindness，andthereyou’dupandsay，``Beoff，goalong，getawaywithyou！’Ohyes，you’reashrewdoneatpolitics，Idaresay！Youdon’tneedtobetaughthowtoswindlethemaster，andtofilchraccoonfurcoats！’
`Soldier！’saidKorneicontemptuously，andheturnedtothenursewhowascomingin。`Here，whatdoyouthink，MariaEfimovna:heletherinwithoutawordtoanyone，’Korneisaidaddressingher。`AlexeiAlexandrovichwillbedownimmediately-andwillgointothenursery！’
`Aprettybusiness，aprettybusiness！’saidthenurse，`You，KorneiVassilyevich-you’dbestdetainthemastersomewayorother，whileI’llrunandgetherawaysomehow。Aprettybusiness！’
Whenthenursewentintothenursery，SeriozhawastellinghismotherhowheandNadinkahadhadafallintobogganingdownhill，andhadturnedoverthreetimes。Shewaslisteningtothesoundofhisvoice，watchinghisfaceandtheplayofexpressiononit，touchinghishand，butshedidnotfollowwhathewassaying。Shemustgo，shemustleavehim-thiswastheonlythingshewasthinkingandfeeling。SheheardthestepsofVassiliiLukichcominguptothedoorandcoughing；sheheard，too，thestepsofthenurseasshecamenear；butshesatlikeoneturnedtostone，incapableofspeakingorrising。
`Mistress，darling！’beganthenurse，goinguptoAnnaandkissingherhandsandshoulders。`Godhasbroughtjoyindeedtoourboyonhisbirthday。Youhaven’tchangedonebit。’
`Oh，nursedear，Ididn’tknowyouwereinthehouse，’saidAnna，rousingherselfforamoment。
`I’mnotlivinghere-I’mlivingwithmydaughter。Icameforthebirthday，AnnaArkadyevna，darling！’
Thenursesuddenlyburstintotears，andfelltokissingherhandagain。
Seriozha，withradianteyesandsmiles，holdinghismotherbyonehandandhisnursebytheother，patteredontherugwithhischubbylittlebarefeet。Thetendernessshownbyhisbelovednursetohismotherthrewhimintoanecstasy。
`Mother！Sheoftencomestoseeme，andwhenshecomes……’hewasbeginning，buthestopped，noticingthatthenursewassayingsomethinginawhispertohismother，andthatinhismother’sfacetherewasalookofdreadandsomethinglikeshame，whichwassostrangelyunbecomingtoher。
Shewentuptohim。
`Mysweet！’shesaid。
Shecouldnotsaygood-by，buttheexpressiononherfacesaidit，andheunderstood。`Darling，darlingKootik！’sheusedthenamebywhichshehadcalledhimwhenhewaslittle`youwon’tforgetme？You……’
butshecouldnotsaymore。
Howoftenafterwardshethoughtofwordsshemighthavesaid。
Butnowshedidnotknowwhattosay，andcouldsaynothing。ButSeriozhaknewallshewantedtosaytohim。Heunderstoodthatshewasunhappyandlovedhim。Heunderstoodevenwhatthenursehadwhispered。Hehadcaughtthewords`Alwaysatnineo’clock，’andheknewthatthiswassaidofhisfather，andthathisfatherandmothercouldnotmeet。Thatheunderstood，butonethinghecouldnotunderstand-whythereshouldbealookofdreadandshameinherface？……Shewasnotatfault，butshewasafraidofhisfatherandashamedofsomething。Hewouldhavelikedtoputaquestionthatwouldhavesetatrestthisdoubt，buthedidnotdare；hesawthatshewasmiserable，andhepitiedher。Silentlyhepressedclosetoherandwhispered:
`Don’tgoyet。Hewon’tcomejustyet。’
Themotherheldhimawayfromhertoseewhetherhewasthinking，whathesaidtoher，andinhisfrightenedfaceshereadnotonlythathewasspeakingofhisfather，but，asitwere，askingherwhatheoughttothinkabouthisfather。
`Seriozha，mydarling，’shesaid，`lovehim；he’sbetterandkinderthanIam，andIhavedonehimwrong。Whenyougrowupyouwilljudge。’
`There’snoonebetterthanyou！……’hecriedindespairthroughhistears，and，clutchingherbytheshoulders，hebegansqueezingherwithallhisforcetohim，hisarmstremblingwiththestrain。
`Mysweet，mylittleone！’saidAnna，andshecriedasweaklyandchildishlyashe。
Atthatmomentthedooropened；VassiliiLukichcamein。Attheotherdoortherewasthesoundofsteps，andthenurseinascaredwhispersaid，`He’scoming，’andgaveAnnaherhat。
Seriozhasankonthebedandsobbed，hidinghisfaceinhishands。
Annaremovedhishands，oncemorekissedhiswetface，andwithrapidstepswenttothedoor。AlexeiAlexandrovichwalkedin，meetingher。Seeingher，hestoppedshortandbowedhishead。
Althoughshehadjustsaidhewasbetterandkinderthanshe，intherapidglancesheflungathim，takinginhiswholefigureinallitsdetails，feelingsofrepulsionandhatredforhim，andjealousyforherson，tookpossessionofher。Withaswiftgesturesheputdownherveil，and，quickeningherpace，almostranoutoftheroom。
Shehadnottimetoundo，andsocarriedbackwithher，theparceloftoysshehadchosenthedaybeforeinatoyshopwithsuchloveandsorrow。
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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter31[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter31IntenselyasAnnahadlongedtoseeherson，andlongasshehadbeenthinkingofitandpreparingherselfforit，shehadnotintheleastexpectedthatseeinghimwouldaffecthersodeeply。Ongettingbacktoherlonelyroomsinthehotelshecouldnotforalongwhileunderstandwhyshewasthere。
`Yes，it’sallover，andIamagainalone，’shesaidtoherself，and，withouttakingoffherhatshesatdowninalowchairbythehearth。Fixinghereyesonabronzeclockstandingonatablebetweenthewindows，shetriedtothink。
TheFrenchmaidbroughtfromabroadcameintosuggestsheshoulddress。Shegazedatherwonderinglyandsaid，`Lateron。’Afootmanofferedhercoffee。`Lateron，’shesaid。
TheItaliannurse，aftertakingthebabyoutinherbest，cameinwithher，andbroughthertoAnna。Theplump，well-fedlittlebaby，onseeinghermother，asshealwaysdid，heldoutherchubbylittlehands，andwithasmileonhertoothlessmouth，began，likeafishwithafloat，bobbingherfingersupanddownthestarchedfoldsofherembroideredpinafore，makingthemrustle。Itwasimpossiblenottosmile，nottokissthebaby，impossiblenottoholdoutafingerforhertoclutch，crowingandprancingallover；impossiblenottoofferheralipwhichshesuckedintoherlittlemouthbywayofakiss。AndallthisAnnadid，andtookherinherarmsandmadeherdance，andkissedherfreshlittlecheekandbarelittleelbows；
butatthesightofthischilditwasplainerthanevertoherthatthefeelingshehadforhercouldnotbecalledloveincomparisonwithwhatshefeltforSeriozha。Everythinginthisbabywascharming，butforsomereasonallthisdidnotgodeeptoherheart。Onherfirstchild，thoughthechildofanunlovedfather，hadbeenconcentratedallthelovethathadneverfoundsatisfaction。Herbabygirlhadbeenborninthemostpainfulcircumstancesandhadnothadahundredthpartofthecareandthoughtwhichhadbeenconcentratedonherfirstchild。Besides，inthelittlegirleverythingwasstillinthefuture，whileSeriozhawasbynowalmostapersonality，andapersonalitydearlyloved。Inhimtherewasaconflictofthoughts，andoffeelings；heunderstoodher，helovedher，hejudgedher，shethought，recallinghiswordsandhiseyes。Andshewasforever-notphysicallyonlybutspiritually-dividedfromhim，anditwasimpossibletosetthisright。
Shegavethebabybacktothenurse，lethergo，andopenedthelocketinwhichtherewasSeriozha’sportraitwhenhewasalmostofthesameageasthegirl。Shegotup，and，takingoffherhat，tookupfromalittletableanalbuminwhichtherewerephotographsofhersonatdifferentages。Shewantedtocomparethem，andbegantakingthemoutofthealbum。
Shetookthemalloutexceptone，thelatestandbestphotograph。Inithewasinawhitesmock，sittingastrideachair，withfrowningeyesandsmilinglips。Itwashisbest，mostsingularexpression。Withherlittlesupplehands，herwhite，delicatefingers，thatmovedwithapeculiarintensitytoday，shepulledatacornerofthephotograph，butthephotographhadcaughtsomewhereandshecouldnotgetitout。Therewasnopaperknifeonthetable，and，pullingoutthephotographthatwasnexttoherson’sitwasaphotographofVronskytakenatRomeinaroundhatandwithlonghair，sheusedittopushoutherson’sphotograph。`Oh，hereheis！’
shesaid，glancingattheportraitofVronsky，andshesuddenlyrecalledthathewasthecauseofherpresentmisery。Shehadnotoncethoughtofhimallthemorning。Butnow，comingallatonceuponthatmanly，nobleface，sofamiliarandsodeartoher，shefeltasuddenrushofloveforhim。
`Butwhereishe？Howisitheleavesmealoneinmymisery？’
shethoughtallatoncewithafeelingofreproach，forgettingshehadherselfkeptfromhimeverythingconcerningherson。Shesenttoaskhimtocometoherimmediately；withathrobbingheartsheawaitedhim，rehearsingtoherselfthewordsinwhichshewouldtellhimall，andtheexpressionsoflovewithwhichhewouldconsoleher。Themessengerreturnedwiththeanswerthathehadavisitorwithhim，butthathewouldcomeimmediately，andthatheaskedwhethershewouldlethimbringwithhimPrinceIashvin，whohadjustarrivedinPeterburg。`He’snotcomingalone，andsincedinneryesterdayhehasnotseenme，’shethought；`he’snotcomingsothatI
couldtellhimeverything，butcomingwithIashvin。’Andallatonceastrangeideacametoher:Whatifhehadceasedtoloveher？
Andgoingovertheeventsofthelastfewdays，itseemedtoherthatshesawineverythingaconfirmationofthisterribleidea:thefactthathehadnotdinedathomeyesterday，andthefactthathehadinsistedontheirtakingseparatesetsofroomsatPeterburg，andthatevennowhewasnotcomingtoheralone，asthoughheweretryingtoavoidmeetingherfacetoface。
`Butheoughttotellmeso。Imustknowthatitisso。IfIknewit，thenI’dknowwhatIshoulddo，’shesaidtoherself，utterlyunabletopicturetoherselfthepositionshewouldbeinifshewereconvincedofhisnotcaringforher。Shethoughthehadceasedtoloveher，shefeltcloseupondespair，andconsequentlyshefeltexceptionallyalert。Sherangforhermaidandwenttoherdressingroom。Asshedressed，shetookmorecareoverherappearancethanshehaddoneallthesedays，asthoughhemight，ifhehadgrowncoldtoher，fallinlovewithheragainbecauseshehaddressedandarrangedherhairinthewaymostbecomingtoher。
Sheheardthebellringbeforeshewasready。
Whenshewentintothedrawingroomitwasnothe，butIashvin，whomethereyes。Vronskywaslookingthroughthephotographsofherson，whichshehadforgottenonthetable，andhemadenohastetolookroundather。
`Wehavemetalready，’shesaid，puttingherlittlehandintothehugehandofIashvin，whosebashfulnesswassoqueerlyoutofkeepingwithhisimmenseframeandcoarseface。`Wemetlastyearattheraces。
Givethemtome，’shesaid，witharapidmovementsnatchingfromVronskythephotographsofherson，andglancingsignificantlyathimwithflashingeyes。`Weretheracesgoodthisyear？InsteadofthemIsawtheracesintheCorsoinRome。Butyoudon’tcareforlifeabroad，’shesaidwithacordialsmile。`Iknowyouandallyourtastes，thoughIhaveseensolittleofyou。’
`I’mawfullysorryforthat，formytastesaremostlybad，’saidIashvin，gnawingathisleftmustache。
Havingtalkedalittlewhile，andnoticingthatVronskyglancedattheclock，IashvinaskedherwhethershewouldbestayingmuchlongerinPeterburg，andunbendinghishugefigure，reachedafterhiscap。
`Notlong，Ithink，’shesaidhesitatingly，glancingatVronsky。
`Sothenweshan’tmeetagain？’saidIashvingettingupandturningtoVronsky。`Wheredoyouhaveyourdinner？’
`Comeanddinewithme，’saidAnnaresolutely，angryitseemedwithherselfforherembarrassment，butflushingasshealwaysdidwhenshedefinedherpositionbeforeafreshperson。`Thedinnerhereisnotgood，butatleastyouwillseehim。ThereisnooneofhisoldfriendsintheregimentAlexeicaresforashedoesforyou。’
`Delighted，’saidIashvinwithasmile，fromwhichVronskycouldseethathelikedAnnaverymuch。
Iashvinsaidgood-by，andwentaway；Vronskystayedbehind。
`Areyougoingtoo？’shesaidtohim。
`I’mlatealready，’heanswered。`Runalong！I’llcatchupinamoment，’hecalledtoIashvin。
Shetookhimbythehand，andwithouttakinghereyesoffhim，gazedathimwhilesheransackedhermindforthewordstosaythatwouldkeephim。
`Waitaminute，there’ssomethingIwanttosaytoyou，’andtakinghisbroadhandshepresseditonherneck。`Oh，wasitrightmyaskinghimtodinner？’
`Youdidquiteright，’hesaidwithaserenesmilethatshowedhiscloseteeth，andhekissedherhand。
`Alexei，youhavenotchangedtome？’shesaid，pressinghishandinbothofhers。`Alexei，Iammiserablehere。Whenarewegoingaway？’
`Soon，soon。Youwouldn’tbelievehowdisagreeableourwayoflivinghereistometoo，’hesaid，andhedrewawayhishand。
`Well，go，go！’shesaid，offended，andshewalkedquicklyawayfromhim。
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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter32[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter32WhenVronskyreturnedhome，Annawasnotyethome。Soonafterhehadleft，somelady，sotheytoldhim，hadcometoseeher，andshehadgoneoutwithher。Thatshehadgoneoutwithoutleavingwordwhereshewasgoing，thatshehadnotyetcomeback，andthatallthemorningshehadbeengoingaboutsomewherewithoutawordtohim-allthis，togetherwiththestrangelookofexcitementinherfaceinthemorning，andtherecollectionofthehostiletonewithwhichshehadbeforeIashvinalmostsnatchedherson’sphotographsoutofhishands，madehimserious。Hedecidedheabsolutelymustspeakopenlywithher。Andhewaitedforherinherdrawingroom。
ButAnnadidnotreturnalone，butbroughtwithherheroldunmarriedaunt，PrincessOblonskaia。Thiswastheladywhohadcomeinthemorning，andwithwhomAnnahadgoneoutshopping。AnnaappearednottonoticeVronsky’sworriedandinquiringexpression，andbeganalivelyaccountofhermorning’sshopping。Hesawthattherewassomethingworkingwithinher；inherflashingeyes，whentheyrestedforamomentonhim，therewasanintenseconcentration，andinherwordsandmovementstherewasthatnervousrapidityandgracewhich，duringtheearlyperiodoftheirintimacy，hadsofascinatedhim，butwhichnowsodisturbedandalarmedhim。
Thedinnerwaslaidforfour。AllweregatheredtogetherandabouttogointothelittlediningroomwhenTushkevichmadehisappearancewithamessagefromPrincessBetsy。PrincessBetsybeggedhertoexcusehernothavingcometosaygood-by；shehadbeenindisposed，butbeggedAnnatocometoherbetweenhalf-pastsixandhalf-pasteighto’clock。VronskyglancedatAnnaatthepreciselimitoftime，sosuggestiveofstepshavingbeentakenthatsheshouldmeetnoone；butAnnaappearednottonoticeit。
`VerysorrythatIcan’tcomejustbetweenhalf-pastsixandnine，’
shesaidwithafaintsmile。
`ThePrincesswillbeverysorry。’
`AndsoshallI。’
`You’regoing，nodoubt，tohearPatti？’saidTushkevich。
`Patti？Yougivemeanidea。Iwouldgoifitwerepossibletogetabox。’
`Icangetone，’Tushkevichofferedhisservices。
`Ishouldbevery，verygratefultoyou，’saidAnna。`Butwon’tyoudinewithus？’
Vronskygaveahardlyperceptibleshrug。HewasatacompletelosstounderstandwhatAnnawasabout。WhathadshebroughttheoldPrincessOblonskaiahomefor，whathadshemadeTushkevichstaytodinnerfor，and，mostamazingofall，whywasshesendinghimforabox？CouldshepossiblythinkinherpositionofgoingtoPatti’sbenefit，whereallthecircleofheracquaintanceswouldbe？Helookedatherwithseriouseyes，butsherespondedwiththatdefiant，half-mirthful，half-desperatelook，themeaningofwhichhecouldnotcomprehend。AtdinnerAnnawasinaggressivelyhighspirits-shealmostflirtedbothwithTushkevichandwithIashvin。
WhentheygotupfromdinnerandTushkevichhadgonetogetaboxattheopera，Iashvinwenttosmoke，andVronskywentdownwithhimtohisownrooms。Aftersittingthereforsometimeheranupstairs。Annawasalreadydressedinalow-neckedgownoflightsilkandvelvetthatshehadhadmadeinParis，andwithcostlywhitelaceonherhead，framingherface，andparticularlybecoming，showingupherdazzlingbeauty。
`Areyoureallygoingtothetheater？’hesaid，tryingnottolookather。
`Whydoyouaskwithsuchalarm？’shesaid，woundedagainathisnotlookingather。`Whyshouldn’tIgo？’
Sheappearednottounderstandthemeaningofhiswords。
`Oh，ofcoursethere’snoreasonwhatever，’hesaidfrowning。
`That’sjustwhatIsay，’shesaid，willfullyrefusingtoseetheironyofhistone，andquietlyturningbackherlong，perfumedglove。
`Anna，forGod’ssake！Whatisthematterwithyou？’hesaid，watchingherexactlyasonceherhusbandhaddone。
`Idon’tunderstandwhatyouareasking。’
`Youknowthatit’soutofthequestiontogo。’
`Whyso？I’mnotgoingalone。PrincessVarvarahasgonetodress-sheisgoingwithme。’
Heshruggedhisshoulderswithanairofperplexityanddespair。
`Butdoyoumeantosayyoudon’tknow？……’hebegan。
`ButIdon’tcaretoknow！’shealmostshrieked。`Idon’tcareto。DoIregretwhatIhavedone？No，no，no！Ifitwerealltodoagainfromthebeginning，itwouldbethesame。Forus，foryouandforme，thereisonlyonethingthatmatters，whetherweloveeachother。Otherpeopleweneednotconsider。Whyarewelivinghereapartandnotseeingeachother？Whycan’tIgo？Iloveyou，andIdon’tcareforanything，’shesaidinRussian，glancingathimwithapeculiar，obscureforhim，gleaminhereyes，`ifyouhavenotchangedtome……Whydon’tyoulookatme？’
Helookedather。Hesawallthebeautyofherfaceandfulldress，alwayssobecomingtoher。Butnowherbeautyandelegancewerejustwhatirritatedhim。
`Myfeelingcannotchange，youknow，butIbegyou，Ientreatyou，’hesaidagaininFrench，withanoteoftendersupplicationinhisvoice，butwithcoldnessinhiseyes。
Shedidnothearhiswords，butshesawthecoldnessofhiseyes，andansweredwithirritation:
`AndIbegyoutoexplainwhyIshouldnotgo。’
`Becauseitmightcauseyou……’Hehesitated。
`Idon’tunderstand。Iashvinn’estcompromettant，andPrincessVarvaraisnoworsethanothers。Oh，heresheis！’
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TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart5，Chapter33[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter33VronskyforthefirsttimeexperiencedafeelingofangeragainstAnna，almostahatredforherintentionalrefusaltounderstandherownposition。
Thisfeelingwasaggravatedbyhisbeingunabletotellherplainlythecauseofhisanger。Ifhehadtoldherdirectlywhathewasthinking，hewouldhavesaid:`Inthatdress，withaPrincessonlytoowellknowntoeveryone，toshowyourselfatthetheaterisequivalentnotmerelytoacknowledgingyourpositionasafallenwoman，butisflingingdownachallengetosociety-thatistosay，cuttingyourselfofffromitforever。’
Hecouldnotsaythattoher。`Buthowcanshefailtoseeit，andwhatisgoingonwithinher？’hesaidtohimselfHefeltatthesametimethathisrespectforherwasdiminishedwhilehissenseofherbeautywasintensified。
Hewentbackscowlingtohisrooms，and，sittingdownbesideIashvin，who，withhislonglegsstretchedoutonachair，wasdrinkingcognacandSeltzerwater，heorderedaglassofthesameforhimself。
`YouweretalkingofLankovsky’sPowerful。That’safinehorse，andIwouldadviseyoutobuyhim，’saidIashvin，glancingathiscomrade’sgloomyface。`Hishindquartersaren’tquitefirst-rate，butthelegsandhead-onecouldn’twishforanythingbetter。’
`IthinkIwilltakehim，’answeredVronsky。
Theirconversationabouthorsesinterestedhim，buthedidnotforaninstantforgetAnna，andcouldnothelplisteningtothesoundofstepsinthecorridorandlookingattheclockonthechimneypiece。
`AnnaArkadyevnagaveorderstoannouncethatshehasgonetothetheater。’
Iashvin，tippinganotherglassofcognacintothebubblingwater，drankitandgotup，buttoninghiscoat。
`Well，let’sgo，’hesaid，faintlysmilingunderhismustache，andshowingbythissmilethatheknewthecauseofVronsky’sgloominess，anddidnotattachanysignificancetoit。
`I’mnotgoing，’Vronskyansweredgloomily。
`Well，Imust-Ipromisedto。Good-bythen。Ifyoudo，cometothestalls；youcantakeKrassinsky’sstall，’addedIashvinashewentout。
`No，I’mbusy。’
`Awifeisacare，butit’sworsewhenshe’snotawife，’thoughtIashvin，ashewalkedoutofthehotel。
Vronsky，leftalone，gotupfromhischairandbeganpacingupanddowntheroom。
`Andwhat’stoday？Thefourthseries……Iegorandhiswifearethere，andmymother，mostlikely。OfcourseallPeterburg’sthere。Nowshe’sgonein，takenoffhercloakandcomeintotheglare。Tushkevich，Iashvin，PrincessVarvara，’hepicturedthemtohimself……`Whataboutme？EitherthatI’mfrightened，orhavegivenuptoTushkevichtherighttoprotecther？Fromeverypointofview-stupid，stupid！……Andwhyissheputtingmeinsuchaposition？’hesaidwithagestureofdespair。
Withthatgestureheknockedagainstthetable，onwhichtherewasstandingtheSeltzerwaterandthedecanterofcognac，andalmostupsetit。Hetriedtocatchit，letitslip，andangrilykickedthetableoverandrang。
`Ifyoucaretobeinmyservice，’hesaidtothevaletwhocamein，`youhadbetterrememberyourduties。Thisshouldn’tbehere。Yououghttohaveclearedaway。’
Thevalet，consciousofhisowninnocence，wouldhavedefendedhimself，but，glancingathismaster，hesawfromhisfacethattheonlythingtodowastobesilent，andhurriedlythreadinghiswayinandout，droppeddownonthecarpetandbegangatheringupthewholeandbrokenglassesandbottles。
`That’snotyourduty；sendthewaitertoclearaway，andgetmydresscoatout。’
Vronskyarrivedatthetheaterathalf-pasteightTheperformancewasinfullswing。Thelittleoldboxkeeper，recognizingVronskyashehelpedhimoffwithhisfurcoat，calledhim`YourExcellency，’andsuggestedheshouldnottakeacheckbutshouldsimplycallFiodor。Inthebrightlylightedcorridortherewasnoonebuttheboxopenerandtwofootmenwithfurcloaksontheirarmslisteningatthedoors。Throughthecloseddoorscamethesoundsofthediscreetstaccatoaccompanimentoftheorchestra，andasinglefemalevoicerenderingdistinctlyamusicalphrase。Thedooropenedtolettheboxopenerslipthrough，andthephrasedrawingtotheendreachedVronsky’shearingclearly。Butthedoorswereclosedagainatonce，andVronskydidnotheartheendofthephraseandthecadenceoftheaccompaniment，thoughheknewfromthethunderofapplausethatitwasover。Whenheenteredthehall，brilliantlylightedwithchandeliersandgasjets，thenoisewasstillgoingon。Onthestagethesinger，bowingandsmiling，flashingwithbareshouldersandwithdiamonds，was，withthehelpofthetenorwhohadgivenherhisarm，gatheringupthebouquetsthatwereclumsilyflyingoverthefootlights。Thenshewentuptoagentlemanwithglossypomadedhairparteddownthemiddle，whowasstretchingacrossthefootlightsholdingoutsomethingtoher，andallthepublicinthestallsaswellasintheboxeswasinexcitement，craningforward，shoutingandclapping。Theconductorinhishighchairassistedinpassingtheoffering，andstraightenedhiswhitetie。Vronskywalkedintothemiddleofthestalls，and，standingstill，beganlookingabouthim。Thatdaylessthaneverwashisattentionturneduponthefamiliar，habitualsurroundings，thestage，thenoise，allthefamiliar，uninteresting，particoloredherdofspectatorsinthepackedtheater。
Therewere，asalways，thesameladiesofsomesortwithofficersofsomesortinthebackoftheboxes；thesamegailydressedwomen-Godknowswho-anduniformsandblackcoats；thesamedirtycrowdintheuppergallery，andamongthecrowd，intheboxesandinthefrontrows，weresomefortyoftherealpeople，menandwomen。AndtothoseoasesVronskyatoncedirectedhisattention，andwiththemheenteredatonceintorelation。
Theactwasoverwhenhewentin，andsohedidnotgostraighttohisbrother’sbox，butgoinguptothefirstrowofstallsstoppedatthefootlightswithSerpukhovskoy，who，standingwithoneknee，raisedandhisheelonthefootlights，caughtsightofhiminthedistanceandbeckonedtohim，smiling。
VronskyhadnotyetseenAnna。Hepurposelyavoidedlookinginherdirection。Butheknewbythedirectionofpeople’seyeswhereshewas。Helookedrounddiscreetly，buthewasnotseekingher；expectingtheworst，hiseyessoughtforAlexeiAlexandrovich。TohisreliefAlexeiAlexandrovichwasnotinthetheaterthatevening。
`Howlittleofthemilitarymanthereisleftinyou！’Serpukhovskoywassayingtohim。`Adiplomat，anartist，somethingofthatsort，onewouldsay。’
`Yes，itwaslikegoingbackhomewhenIputonadresscoat，’
answeredVronsky，smilingandslowlytakingouthisoperaglasses。
`Well，I’llownIenvyyouthere。WhenIcomebackfromabroadandputonthis，’hetouchedhisshoulderknot，`Iregretmyfreedom。’
SerpukhovskoyhadlonggivenupallhopeofVronsky’scareer，buthelikedhimasbefore，andwasnowparticularlycordialtohim。
`Whatapityyouwerenotintimeforthefirstact！’
Vronsky，listeningwithhalfanear，movedhisoperaglassesfromthestallsandscannedtheboxes。Nearaladyinaturbanandabaldoldman，whoseemedtoblinkangrilyinthemovingoperaglasses，VronskysuddenlycaughtsightofAnna’shead，proud，strikinglybeautiful，andsmilinginitsframeoflace。Shewasinthefifthbox，twentypacesfromhim。Shewassittinginfront，and，slightlyturning，wassayingsomethingtoIashvin。
Thesettingofherheadonherhandsome，broadshoulders，andtherestrainedexcitementandbrillianceofhereyesandherwholefaceremindedhimofherjustashehadseenherattheballinMoscow。Buthefeltutterlydifferenttowardherbeautynow。Inhisfeelingforhernowtherewasnoelementofmystery，andsoherbeauty，thoughitattractedhimevenmoreintenselythanbefore，gavehimnowasenseofinjury。Shewasnotlookinginhisdirection，butVronskyfeltthatshehadseenhimalready。
WhenVronskyturnedtheoperaglassesagaininthatdirection，henoticedthatPrincessVarvarawasparticularlyred，andkeptlaughingunnaturallyandlookingroundatthenextbox。Anna，foldingherfanandtappingitontheredvelvet，wasgazingawayanddidnotsee，andobviouslydidnotwishtosee，whatwastakingplaceinthenextbox。Iashvin’sfaceworetheexpressionwhichwascommonwhenhewaslosingatcards。Scowling，hesuckedthelefttipofhismustachefurtherandfurtherintohismouth，andcastsidelongglancesatthenextbox。
InthatboxontheleftweretheKartassovs。Vronskyknewthem，andknewthatAnnawasacquaintedwiththem。MadameKartassova，athinlittlewoman，wasstandingupinherbox，and，herbackturneduponAnna，shewasputtingonamantlethatherhusbandwasholdingforher。Herfacewaspaleandangry，andshewastalkingexcitedly。Kartassov，afat，baldman，wascontinuallylookingroundatAnna，whileheattemptedtosoothehiswife。Whenthewifehadgoneout，thehusbandlingeredalongwhile，andtriedtocatchAnna’seye，obviouslyanxioustobowtoher。ButAnna，withunmistakableintention，avoidednoticinghim，andtalkedtoIashvin，whosecroppedheadwasbentdowntoher。Kartassovwentoutwithoutmakinghissalutation，andtheboxwasleftempty。
VronskycouldnotunderstandexactlywhathadpassedbetweentheKartassovsandAnna，buthesawthatsomethinghumiliatingforAnnahadhappened。Heknewthisbothfromwhathehadseen，andmostofallfromthefaceofAnna，who，hecouldsee，wastaxingeverynervetocarrythroughthepartshehadtakenup。Andinmaintainingthisattitudeofexternalcomposureshewascompletelysuccessful。Anyonewhodidnotknowherandhercircle，whohadnotheardalltheutterancesofthewomenexpressiveofcommiseration，indignationandamazement，thatsheshouldshowherselfinsociety，andshowherselfsoconspicuouslywithherlaceandherbeauty，wouldhaveadmiredtheserenityandlovelinessofthiswomanwithoutasuspicionthatshewasundergoingthesensationsofamaninthestocks。
Knowingthatsomethinghadhappened，butnotknowingpreciselywhat，Vronskyfeltathrillofagonizinganxiety，andhopingtofindoutsomething，hewenttowardhisbrother’sbox。PurposelychoosingthewayroundfarthestfromAnna’sbox，hejostledashecameoutagainstthecolonelofhisoldregiment，talkingtotwoacquaintances。VronskyheardthenameofKarenin，andnoticedhowthecolonelhastenedtoaddressVronskyloudlybyname，withameaningglanceathiscompanions。
`Ah，Vronsky！Whenareyoucomingtotheregiment？Wecan’tletyouoffwithoutasupper。You’reour-oneofthemostthorough，’saidthecolonelofhisregiment。
`Ican’tstop，awfullysorry，anothertime，’saidVronsky，andheranupstairstowardhisbrother’sbox。
Theoldcountess，Vronsky’smother，withhersteel-graycurls，wasinhisbrother’sbox。VariawiththeyoungPrincessSorokinamethiminthecorridor。
LeavingthePrincessSorokinawithhermother，Variaheldoutherhandtoherbrother-in-law，andbeganimmediatelytospeakofwhatinterestedhim。Shewasmoreexcitedthanhehadeverseenher。
`Ithinkit’smeanandhateful，andMadameKartassovahadnorighttodoit。MadameKarenina……’shebegan。
`Butwhatisit？Idon’tknow。’
`What？Youhaven’theard？’
`YouknowIshouldbethelastpersontohearofit。’
`Thereisn’tamorespitefulcreaturethanthatMadameKartassova！’
`Butwhatdidshedo？’
`Myhusbandtoldme……ShehasinsultedMadameKarenina。Herhusbandbegantalkingtoheracrossthebox，andMadameKartassovamadeascene。Shesaidsomethingaloud，theysay，somethinginsulting，andwentaway。’
`Count，yourmamanisaskingforyou，’saidtheyoungPrincessSorokina，peepingoutofthedoorofthebox。
`I’vebeenexpectingyouallthewhile，’saidhismother，smilingsarcastically。`Youwerenowheretobeseen。’
Hersonsawthatshecouldnotsuppressasmileofdelight。
`Goodevening，maman。Ihavecometoyou，’hesaidcoldly。
`Whyaren’tyougoingtofairelacourà；MadameKarenina？’
shewenton，whenPrincessSorokinahadmovedaway。`Ellefaitsensation。
OnoublielaPattipourelle。’
`Maman，Ihaveaskedyounottosayanythingtomeofthat，’
heanswered，scowling。
`I’monlysayingwhateveryone’ssaying。’
Vronskymadenoreply，andsayingafewwordstoPrincessSorokina，hewentaway。Atthedoorhemethisbrother。
`Ah，Alexei！’saidhisbrother。`Howdisgusting！Idiotofawoman，nothingelse……Iwantedtogostraighttoher。Let’sgotogether。’
Vronskydidnothearhim。Withrapidstepshewentdownstairs；
hefeltthathemustdosomething，buthedidnotknowwhat。Angerwithherforhavingputherselfandhiminsuchafalseposition，togetherwithpityforhersuffering，filledhisheart。Hewentdown，andmadestraightforAnna’sbox。AtherboxstoodStremov，talkingtoher。
`Therearenomoretenors。Lemouleenestbrise！’
VronskybowedtoherandstoppedtogreetStremov。
`Youcameinlate，Ithink，andhavemissedthebestsong，’AnnasaidtoVronsky，glancingironically，hethought，athim。
`Iamapoorjudgeofmusic，’hesaid，lookingsternlyather。
`LikePrinceIashvin，’shesaidsmiling，`whoconsidersthatPattisingstooloud-Thankyou，’shesaid，herlittlehandinitslongglovetakingtheplaybillVronskypickedup，andsuddenlyatthatinstantherlovelyfacequivered。Shegotupandwentintotheinteriorofthebox。
Noticinginthenextactthatherboxwasempty，Vronsky，rousingmanyanindignant`Hush！’inthesilentaudience，wentoutinthemiddleofasoloanddrovehome。
Annawasalreadyathome。WhenVronskywentuptoher，shewasinthesamedressshehadwornatthetheater。Shewassittinginthefirstarmchairagainstthewall，lookingstraightbeforeher。Shelookedathim，andatonceresumedherformerposition。
`Anna，’hesaid。
`You，youaretoblameforeverything！’shecried，withtearsofdespairandhatredinhervoice，gettingup。
`Ibegged，Iimploredyounottogo；Iknewitwouldbeunpleasant……’
`Unpleasant？’shecried。`Hideous！AslongasIliveIshallneverforgetit。Shesaiditwasadisgracetositbesideme。’
`Asillywoman’schatter，’hesaid，`butwhyriskit，whyprovoke？……’
`Ihateyourcalm。Yououghtnottohavebroughtmetothis。Ifyouhadlovedme……’
`Anna！Howdoesthequestionofmylovecomein？……’
`Oh，ifyoulovedme，asIlove，ifyouweretorturedasIam……’
shesaid，lookingathimwithanexpressionofterror。
Hewassorryforher，andangrynotwithstanding。Heassuredherofhislovebecausehesawthatthiswastheonlymeansofsoothingher，andhedidnotreproachherinwords，butinhishearthereproachedher。